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The Self-Control Shark: The Self-Control Shark goes through the journey of how to self regulate through strategies he learns.

1. What are some strategies we can use to self-regulate without guidance?

2. Can we recognize our emotions that make us make bad decisions?

3. What would a list of rules include that you can use to regulate your emotions?

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Behavior Buddies: THE SELF-CONTROL SHARK | Children’s Read Aloud | Self-Control | Self-Discipline

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I Was So Mad: Little Critter goes through frustrating situations and comes to understand how he can regulate his feelings.

1. How can we accept no in a healthy way?

2. How can we express our negative feelings in a healthy method?

3. Are there ways we can disagree in a respectfully?

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I Was So Mad by Mercer Mayer - Little Critter - Read Aloud Books for Children - Storytime

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When I Feel Frustrated: The book goes into some strategies and scenarios that happen when a child is dealing with big emotions such as frustration!

1. What are some ways that we can calm down after being frustrated?

2. How do we know when we are frustrated? "What do you think made you feel that way?"

3. Who can we go to/or what class resources can we utilize when we are feeling big emotions?

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When I Feel Frustrated Self-Regulation Skills Michael Gordon- Read Well - Read Aloud Videos for Kids

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Why Do I (Sometimes) Feel Angry: This book goes through feeling angry and what can be the cause of the outward projection of this big emotion! It also goes through ways to deal with being angry and how to handle/manage anger for kids!

1. How can we, as a class, reflect on our actions? "How do you think our friends are feeling right now?"

2. What CAN we do when we get mad at a situation or someone else? "Let's all take a deep breath together"

3. Is this a problem we can solve together right now? (You can ask this question to affirm feelings while also giving the opportunity to circle back!)

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Why do I (sometimes) feel angry? | A lift-the-flap book | Usborne

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PBISApps: PBIS resources directly correlate with how we can learn how to maintain classroom management. This article gives de-escalation strategies that work best in a classroom with students of all ages.

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Editor's Note: There is a growing sentiment among those of us in education that student behavior is more escalated than it was prior to the pandemic. Recent surveys from The American Federation of Teachers and

The National Education Association show teachers name student behavior and the lack of disciplinary response to it as some of the top problems facing their profession today. Research has ideas for how we can address the behaviors we see as well as prevent them from happening in the first place.
Welcome back. Today, we find ourselves square in the middle...the middle of a series about how to de-escalate behaviors and bring back a little calm to your school day. Check out last month's article when you have a second. In the meantime, here's a quick recap of what we know so far.

The behaviors you see, refer, and document in SWIS land somewhere within the escalation cycle. That cycle looks like this: ¹

Everything starts in a calm place until something triggers a response. That's when we get agitated, fidgety and distracted. You might start to see some minor problem behaviors creep in here. When left unchecked, things accelerate and energy gets directed at other people. Behaviors like defiance or disrespect come into play as students turn their attention toward the adults in the room. The back-and-forth responses between us culminate at a peak where behavior could be described as destructive. Certainly, all learning has stopped. Once the peak behavior finishes, we start to de-escalate, go through a process of recovery, and eventually end up back at the beginning in our original state of calm.

When you think about this cycle do you wonder why de-escalation comes toward the end after a behavior reaches its peak? It certainly makes sense to focus on de-escalating after a crisis, but wouldn't it also make sense to infuse de-escalation strategies throughout the entire cycle? An intervention at any point has the potential to stop behaviors from escalating and return to a place of calm. What do those de-escalation strategies look like?

When behaviors escalate, odds are high there's a power struggle underway.

‍Prevention: Strategies to use during the calm and trigger phases of the escalation cycle.‍

Escalation: Strategies to use during the agitation and acceleration phases of the escalation cycle.‍

Crisis: Strategies to use during the peak phase of the escalation cycle.‍

Recovery & Restoration: Strategies to use during the de-escalation and recovery phases of the escalation cycle.

De-escalation Strategies Before a Crisis

The folks at The Center on PBIS recently released a new practice brief called Strategies for De-escalating Student Behavior in the Classroom and it could not have arrived at a better time. ² The brief's authors share practical, research-based strategies for de-escalating behavior at any point in the escalation cycle. Not only that, they assert "all students...can benefit from a universal approach that promotes a consistent response to behavioral escalation by all staff that is not overly reliant on exclusionary practices and intrusive crisis responses." They agree, you guys! De-escalation strategies work for everyone no matter where they land in the escalation cycle.

Here's how it works.

As behavior intensifies through the escalation cycle, the calming strategies you use shift to meet the current need. This is what the authors call the de-escalation cycle. It has four phases.

The de-escalation cycle starts with prevention. Prevention strategies align with the strong, Tier 1 systems and practices you use in your classrooms every day. These are things like teaching expectations, investing in building relationships with students, positively reinforcing the behaviors you love to see, and correcting behavioral errors when they happen. Additionally, prevention includes teaching everyone the strategies they can use to regulate their own behaviors, before they escalate, while they're in a calm neutral state.

The foundational work you do here is critical; it also doesn't guarantee behavior will remain calm 100% of the time. We're all human and bound to react at some point.

So, what do you do when things start to escalate?

The behaviors you notice before a situation hits its peak are part of the agitation and acceleration phases of the escalation cycle. While the behaviors you notice in the agitation phase are less intense than the ones you notice in the acceleration phase, the strategies you use to address the behaviors are similar. The focus is always on returning to a calm state and redirecting the behavior back to the task at hand. There are lots of ways you can do that. Here are four strategies you can try (along with some role-play from one of our favorite Instagram accounts, @mrmonroeandnala) when you need to intervene before a situation become a crisis.

Offer a Choice

When behaviors escalate, odds are high there's a power struggle underway. A student's behavior elicits a response from you. Your response elicits a bigger response from the student, and so on, and so on, and so on. Rather than continuing to ask students to do the one thing you need them to do, offer them two to three acceptable options for completing the task. When you notice a student hasn't picked up their pencil to start a task, offer them an alternative way to get started. "You can complete the worksheet independently or with a partner. Which would you prefer?"

Here's another way.

Redirect Their Attention

Sometimes we just need a reminder or a suggestion for how to get ourselves back on task and our emotions under control. Redirection is that reminder - a simple, quick, calm, respectful way of letting a student know what they've done wrong and what they could do instead. On last month's Expert Instruction episode, Dr. Kathleen Strickland-Cohen shared how she handles behavioral errors the same way she might handle an academic error - by reteaching. She assumes her student has simply forgotten the expectation, so she takes the moment to remind them. Something like, "Remember if you have an idea, raise your hand so you don't accidentally interrupt someone else's thought."

Redirection can also offer an entry point for students who are having a hard time getting started on a task. Here's an example of how redirection can work in that way.

Co-regulate When They Can't Self-Regulate

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're feeling frustrated, annoyed, upset, slighted? Do you ever just need someone to help you process those feelings in order to move on? Psychology has a term for that process. It's called co-regulation.

When someone is escalated, co-regulation looks like empathizing with them, acknowledging how they feel, and helping them gain more control over their emotions. An example of co-regulation given in the practice brief is: "I want to make sure you're okay. I see you're angry because your face is red and your fists are clenched. When I feel angry, I like to take three deep breaths and count to 10. Want to do that together?"

If a student hasn't started an assignment after you've asked, try offering them choice to try a different approach to starting the work.

When someone is off task, re-direct their attention back to the task at hand in a calm, neutral way.

When you notice those physical signs of escalation, help them regulate their emotions by empathizing with how they feel, modeling expectations, and maybe even reminding them of the ways they know how to calm themselves down.

Co-regulation can also be a nice way to recruit some grace from your students. Here's an example of how Mr. Monroe identifies his own emotional state and asks for some grace from his class.
Our series isn't finished yet. Be sure to check out this month's podcast episode on October 18 about how to respond when things continue to up the escalation cycle.
Remind Them of the Strategies They Know

Did you catch in the co-regulation example from Mr. Monroe how his students reminded him how he might use their de-escalation strategies to calm down? Well, that's called "prompting a regulation routine" and it's the fourth strategy in our list.

No one in the history of time has ever calmed down when they've heard someone say, "Hey. Calm down." A different approach is to prompt them to use the strategies you've taught for when they feel agitated and upset. A prompt might be to ask a question like, "Would it help to take a few deep breaths? I can do it with you." Another prompt might look like, "I was about to go refill my water bottle. You could come with me to take a break, grab some water, and try again." It also look like this.

When you notice behavior escalating, you don't have to wait for things to hit their peak before intervening. De-escalation strategies can happen throughout the escalation cycle.

This list of ideas is not exhaustive; it's a starting place. Use it to come up with the de-escalation strategies that feel natural to you and will work for your students.

1. Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction, (2021, September), The Response Cycle, https://dpi.wi.gov/sped/educators/behavior-supports/response-cycle

2. Strickland-Cohen, M.K., Newson, A., Meyer, K., Putnam, R., Kern, L., Meyer, B. C., & Flammini, A. (September, 2022). Strategies for De-escalating Student Behavior in the Classroom. Center on PBIS, University of Oregon. www.pbis.org

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PBISApps | Teach By Design-Slow the Climb: 4 De-escalation Strategies to Keep Behavior from Going Downhill

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Behaviors are bound to escalate at some point in spite of your best classroom management practices. Here are four de-escalation strategies to try before a situation become a crisis.

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The Art of Education University: This short video gives educators ideas on how to de-escalate when challenging behaviors occur. This video is a great for future teachers to take a quick moment to think about how they can handle challenging behaviors.

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The Pathway 2 Success: This image gives educators a visual as to how challenging behaviors can be de-escalated. It is easy to navigate and can be used a good reminder for future educators.

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BetterLesson: This article not only gives de-escalation strategies but also explains why they are important to classroom management. This article is thorough and detailed for future educators to fully understand what de-escalation strategies are and how they work.

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De-Escalation Strategies Teachers Can Use in Their Classroom

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Equip school leaders and teachers with actionable insights for effective classroom de-escalation strategies.

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Edutopia: This video is a great example of de-escalation strategies because it provides an example in real-time of how these method can be used. Future educators can take notes on how they would use the following de-escalation strategies in their own classrooms.

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De-Escalation Spaces: Helping Students Manage Emotions

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How can educators recognize and intervene when student behavior is escalating?: This resource goes over what signs a student might exhibit when feeling big emotions, the triggers for said emotions, and how to handle those situations. The resource also steps of how to implement the strategies as well as activity ideas!

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Once the Peak Phase has passed, the student enters the next phase of the cycle—De-escalation. During this phase, the teacher should take steps to reintegrate the student into the classroom environment with dignity and respect. What a Student Looks Like Student behavior in the De-escalation Phase can vary. Depending on the student, they may: Be[.....]

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Use De-escalation Strategies: This resource goes into the important mannerisms that can be beneficial along with additional de-escalation strategies! The page goes into how to overall consider safety, communicate clearly/calmly, the usage of high-probability instructions and more!

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Suggestion for implementing the strategy Respond in challenging situations within the Guide to Behaviour and learning

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Student Pushing Your Buttons? Try These De-Escalation Strategies: This resource not only acknowledges the impact that students with big emotions have on teachers but also what teachers can do to help themselves and their students! There are a total of 8 tips provided in this article that are clearly organized in a simple format for easy reading!

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Every school year brings new opportunities and challenges, especially with classroom management. Inevitably, situations will escalate in the classroom, such as when students refuse to do work or challenge authority. In preparation for a new school year, and in partnership with the Crisis Prevention Institute (CPI), we're sharing de-escalation tips for teachers to help us respond effectively when students push our buttons.

1. Be empathetic and nonjudgmental.

Try not to judge or dismiss students' feelings when they're in distress. Remember that their feelings are real, whether or not we think those feelings are justified (e.g., Is this assignment really ruining your life?). Respect those feelings, keeping in mind that whatever the person is going through could be the most important event in their life at the moment. Also, the root of the student's struggles might not be in the assignment. Chances are that the student is upset about something else and needs our support and encouragement.

2. Avoid overreacting.

Try to stay calm, rational, and professional (I know, it's not always easy). While we can't control students' behavior, how we respond to it has a direct effect on whether the situation escalates or defuses. Positive thoughts like "I can handle this" and "I know what to do" help us maintain our own rationality and calm the student down. It's OK to take a minute to gather our thoughts. When we pause, we prepare ourselves to respond rather than react to classroom conflicts.

"Our students look to us to set the tone in the classroom," says John Kellerman, a former middle school teacher and assistant principal who now works for CPI. "If we focus on what we can control, and highlight the positives, good things follow. When we highlight the negatives, fear and anxiety follow."

3. Set positive limits.

One of the most helpful things we can do when a student is misbehaving or acting out in class is to give them respectful, simple, and reasonable limits. If a student argues with us, we might say, "I care about you too much to argue. I'll be happy to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops." When a student yells, we can try saying, "I'll be able to listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine." If a student won't do their work, we set a positive limit and say, "After your work is done, you'll have five free minutes to talk."

4. Ignore challenging questions.

Sometimes when a student's behavior is escalating, they challenge our authority. They might say things like "You aren't my mom!" or "You can't make me do anything!" Engaging with students who ask challenging questions is rarely productive. When a student challenges our authority, redirect their attention to the issue at hand. Ignore the challenge, but not the person. Bring their focus back to how you can work together to solve the problem. So when a student says, "You aren't my mom!" we can say, "Yes. You're right. I'm not your mom. But I am your teacher, and I'd like us to work together so you can be successful on this assignment."

5. Allow quiet time for reflection.

Teachers are taught to wait for at least five seconds after asking students a question so they have time to process. The same strategy is equally effective when students need to de-escalate. Don't be afraid of awkward silence (we've all been there!). Silence is a powerful communication tool, and it can give students a chance to reflect on what happened and how to proceed. Set up a Calm-Down Corner in your classroom where students can regain composure before returning to the lesson.

6. Do a quick body scan.

When students are pushing our buttons, what we say matters, but how we say it makes a big difference. We can unintentionally co-escalate a student when we raise our voice, and our nonverbal communication cues safety or danger. Crossed arms, a clenched jaw, or hands on hips will not de-escalate. A harsh tone or raised voice won't help either. When students escalate in class, take a moment to release tension and regain composure so you can show up for your students instead of working against them. Try box breathing or using affirmations and mantras like "I am a calm and capable teacher." If all else fails, count to ten.

7. Use diffusers to de-escalate.

If you are experiencing a power struggle with a student, you can use responses like "good point," "I hear you," and "noted" to de-escalate. Keep the tone of your voice as calm as you can during the exchange. Make eye contact while giving your student enough personal space to calm down. When you use diffusers, you help your student feel seen and heard.

8. Practice reflective teaching.

We may find our students pushing the same buttons again and again. Each time this happens, it is an opportunity to practice de-escalation strategies, and then reflect afterwards. The key to teacher self-reflection is to take a comprehensive, unvarnished look at the past, and determine how best to apply those lessons in the future. Consider the Coping Model to put this practice into action.

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Student Pushing Your Buttons? Try These De-Escalation Strategies

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It's hard not to react when students' behavior escalates in our classrooms. Try these 8 de-escalation tips for teachers.

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Child Mind Institute: This website is a resource that teachers can give out to parents to allow the de-escalation strategies to continue in the home! While students spend a large portion of the day at school they are still learning at home as well!

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Child Mind Institute | Transforming Children’s Lives.

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The Child Mind Institute is an independent nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children struggling with mental health and learning disorders.

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Understood: This is another resource that teachers can give out to parents for extra learning/lessons to build parent skills! I really like the message that this website provided that all kids and students alike should feel understood even when they are feeling big emotions that may require de-escalation!

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Understood - For Learning and Thinking Differences

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Understood.org is the resource that helps the 70 million people with learning and thinking differences anticipate the challenges, barriers, or opportunities in life and confidently reach their potential.

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This activity gives students an option on how they can take deep breaths to de-escalate. Eight breathing options are given and each student can pick which one would be best for them in that moment.

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Breathing Choice Board Freebie! by Allie Szczecinski with Miss Behavior

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This activity is a reflection that gives students the opportunity to reflect on their negative behaviors and how they can change them. Students circle pictures that describe how they feel, what they did, and what they can do to feel better.

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Safe Space Reflection Sheet by ArceoTeaches | TPT

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This lesson plan was really interesting to look into and has the following objectives:

Share strategies to de-escalate heated situations.

Compare past experiences with recommended strategies to de-escalate heated situations.

What I really enjoyed about this lesson plan was the easy-to-understand format that gives the materials required with a direct layout of the lesson as well as an estimated time to complete the lesson in a multimodal fashion that allows for implementation whenever a time is open in your day!

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Luma Brighter Learning - Brighter Learning!

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Conflict De-Escalation Strategies - Luma Brighter Learning

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Many people are under a lot of stress with too much or too little work, kids home all day, unemployment, & the unknown. Being under so much stress & pressure can lead to conflicts. This week’s lesson focuses on conflict de-escalation strategies.

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This is actually a resource with a bunch of de-escalation lesson plan material. I believe that with all 29 of these listed materials, you can pick and choose what could work for your own classroom depending on your students individual needs!

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29 Top “De Escalation” Teaching Resources curated for you

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Instant access to inspirational lesson plans, schemes of work, assessment, interactive activities, resource packs, PowerPoints, teaching ideas at Twinkl!

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This is a very thorough lesson that works with using "I" messages to slow down an escalating situation and give students a chance to resolve a conflict! What I really liked about this lesson was that it gives students the opportunity to self-regulate, initiate a solution without teacher intermission, and gives students the opportunity to vocalize what they are feeling in a productive manner!

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1. My topic is de-escalation strategies. I have chosen this topic because it directly aligns with what I am studying. Working in special education means that are lots of opportunities to use de-escalation strategies.

2. This topic is important to teach because teachers may encounter escalation among students. Many teachers or aspiring teachers may not know how to handle escalation and this activity could give them strategies and ideas on how to handle it. Teacher must know what ti do to keep each student safe in their classroom.

3. I would teach this topic in my future classroom by giving each student the option to choose what is best for them to de-escalate. Each student will have strategies that work for them and it is important that they get to use those. I will also introduce new strategies that could possibly help in the future.

4. How can I implement these strategies while meeting the individual needs of each student? How can I de-escalate while keeping each student in the classroom safe? What are some ways to communicate with students during escalation?

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This lesson compares escalation to an escalator that goes up and down. Students are given examples of situations and whether or not they are escalating or de-escalating.

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While reading through the comments on this blog post, I discovered the book Teaching Conflict Resolution Through Children's Literature (Grades K-2) and the idea of the "conflict escalator". Especially when conflict was a bigger problem at our school, it seemed like our students were constantly escalating their problems unknowingly! This seemed like a great lesson topic for 3rd grade's conflict resolution unit.
*When I first did this lesson, I used The Butter Battle Book. I've since stopped using it because some of the references/plot line felt insensitive to use with my students, particularly regarding the wall. I think Too Tall Houses, Desmond and the Very Mean Word, or Horrible Bear would be great options! With any of them, you can talk about 1) how did the conflict start, 2) did it change or grow, and 3) could any characters have done something different to stop the conflict from getting bigger.
With the students at their desks, I introduce the concept of the conflict escalator using a PowerPoint. Not all of my students have been to big malls and most have not been to airports, so it was important I be able to give them a visual! We walked through the vocabulary of escalating vs. de-escalating.

The next step was to go through two story examples. First I read aloud while students acted it out. Then I read it aloud again and students motioned whenever a character said or did something that escalated the conflict and made it worse. I flashed these up the steps on the PPT as we went. After finishing the story, I asked them to come to the board point out one or two stars and give an example of how the character could have made a different choice to de-escalate the conflict at that spot.

Our final activity was for students to work in pairs or trios to sort words and actions that would escalate vs. de-escalate conflict, and then to personally identify 1 or 2 escalation cards that they were "guilty" of doing during conflict.

Closing questions (if time):

Which is easier to do, escalate or de-escalate conflict?

Why do people sometimes choose to escalate conflict?

Why should we choose to de-escalate conflict instead of escalate it?

Our next lesson starts a 3-part "unit within a theme" on conflict de-escalation strategies.

Pin for later:

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Conflict Escalator Lesson - The Responsive Counselor

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While reading through the comments on this blog post, I discovered the book Teaching Conflict Resolution Through Children's Literature (Grades K-2) and the idea of the "conflict escalator". Especially when conflict was a bigger problem at our school, it seemed like our students were constantly escalating their problems unknowingly!

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1. What is your topic, and why did you choose it?

In all honesty, my partner selected this topic while I was out of class but I am really glad she did because I was very interested in learning more about how I can better recognize and utilize de-escalation strategies! I love working with young kids but a big part of that is getting them to understand how to channel their big emotions in a constructive, problem-solving way! Being able to de-escalate a situation whether that is with yourself or others is a very important aspect of growing up and something I really enjoyed learning more about!

2. Why is this topic important to teach?

It is very important to teach this topic, I would say, especially as a young child, but throughout a student's education experience so that the individual can be the best form of themselves! With various de-escalation strategies, a student is able to self-regulate, handle situations that come up amongst peers in a productive way as well as teach others the strategies that help them! I think this is a very important topic that should be taught in more lesson plans and be administered in various ways throughout the classroom as it is a very relevant part of day-to-day life!

3. How would you teach this topic in your future classroom?

There are a multitude of ways I would teach this topic that rely heavily on what age I am teaching! If I were working with the little ones who are new to school, I would go in the mindset that they have no strategies and teach from scratch. That would mean going over what emotions are, how to deal with them, and various situations that can occur that may require de-escalation. The end goal, regardless of the age of the students, would be to get each child to the point that they can recognize what they are feeling, look at any situation they are in, and find an outcome that meets the needs of all the students involved! This can be through the use of several de-escalation strategies or a single one, it is entirely reliant on a case-by-case basis.

4. What are three questions or concerns you have about teaching this topic?

1. What is the best way to handle a situation where you are teaching a whole group de-escalation method that both the teacher and students are using but one parent doesn't agree with its usage?

2. To what degree should teachers stand back and observe students using de-escalation strategies before jumping into a situation?

3. Does anyone have specific de-escalation strategies that are known to actually work in real life and not just another unrealistic strategy from a website or article?