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Open Shut Them Song| Circle Time Songs for Kids | Jack Hartmann Nursery Rhymes

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Infants, Toddlers, & Twos Challenging Behaviors

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Infants, Toddlers, & Twos Challenging Behaviors

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Infant, Toddler, Two Teachers

Course Curriculum

Show All Lectures

Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids.

In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities. My goal is help children become adults who lead happier, healthier lives and make the world a better place to be. Together we can create great childhoods and promote a love of life-long learning.

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Infant, Toddler, Two Teachers Course Curriculum Show All Lectures Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids. In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities.

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The Socio-Emotional Formation Initiative (SEFI) supports the statewide integration of professional development opportunities aimed at promoting the social and emotional well-being and inclusion of all infants, toddlers and young children with and without developmental, emotional and behavioral difficulties. SEFI, a grant-supported program of the Center for Autism and Early Childhood Mental Health at Montclair State University, approaches this work through the full continuum of promotion, prevention and intervention efforts.

SEFI views professional development as a process of formation, including the following components:

Ways of Knowing: Education opportunities to better understand important aspects of social, emotional and mental health and well-being of infants, toddlers and young children.

Ways of Doing: Technical assistance support to implement evidence-based practices to better promote social, emotional and mental health and well-being of infants, toddlers and young children.

Ways of Being: The integration of understanding, practice and reflective supervision in order to best promote social, emotional and mental health and well-being of infants, toddlers and young children.

SEFI is funded by the State of New Jersey Department of Human Services, Division of Family Development and collaborates with the Grow NJ Kids program.

SEFI's Keeping Babies and Children in Mind (KBCM) seven-part workshop series promotes positive development in young children by building the capacity of the multidisciplinary workforce serving infants, toddlers, young children and their families. For more information and to register, visit Training and Conferences.

To request specialized technical assistance in social emotional development and or inclusion in Grow NJ enrolled programs, please email: caecmh@montclair.edu

To request information about implementing the Pyramid Model for supporting social and emotional competence in infants and young children, please visit the New Jersey Pyramid Model Partnership.

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Learn how to better care for babies and children (as well as yourself) through SEFI training and consultation. The Socio-Emotional Formation Initiative (SEFI) supports the statewide integration of professional development opportunities aimed at promoting the social and emotional well-being and inclusion of all infants, toddlers and young children with and without developmental, emotional and behavioral [...]

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video length: 3 minutes

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Baby and dad having hilarious conversation 😍

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About the Book

In early childhood settings, children and teachers interact all day long. The benefits are enormous when even some of those "everyday" interactions become intentional, purposeful, and culturally responsive-in other words, Powerful Interactions ®! With these three steps, you can embed Powerful Interactions in your daily work with children ages birth through 8:

Step One: Be Present. Pause, tune in to yourself and the moment, and consider how you might need to adjust to create a "just-right" fit with a child.

Step Two: Connect. To foster trust and confidence, let that child know that you see her; are interested in what she is doing, saying, and thinking; and want to spend time with her.

Step Three: Extend Learning. Make use of your strong connection with the child to stretch her knowledge, skills, thinking, or language and vocabulary.

With updated content and research, new examples and insights, and questions to guide group study discussions, the new edition of this bestselling classic covers everything you need to understand what Powerful Interactions are, how to make them happen, and why they are so important in increasing children's learning and your effectiveness as a teacher.

Discover how Powerful Interactions- and you -make a difference!

Welcome

The Power of Teacher-Child Interactions

About this Book

A First Look at Powerful Interactions

What Is a "Powerful Interaction"?

How Do You Turn an Everyday Interaction into a Powerful Interaction?

What's in It for You?

Step One: Be Present

What Does It Mean to "Be Present"?

Doing a Quick "Me Check"

Getting Better at "Being Present"

Reflect on Your Practice

Step Two: Connect

What Does It Mean to "Connect"?

Seven Strategies for Connecting

Slow Down, Stay in the Moment

Keep Learning About Children

Listen to Children

Personalize Your Interactions

Show Respect

Guide Children's Behavior

Keep Trust Growing

Step Three: Extend Learning

What Does It Mean to "Extend Learning"?

Examples of Extending Learning

Ten Strategies for Extending Learning

Help Children See Themselves as Thinkers

Respond to Curiosity

Use Mirror Talk

Have Conversations

Inspire Imaginative Play

Solve Problems Together

Use Rich Vocabulary

Laugh with Children

Ask Questions

Link the New to the Familiar

You Make the Difference!

Energy-Keep Your Cup Filled

Confidence-Watch Yourself in Slow Motion

One Last Word

Conversation Guide

References

Index

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Product Code: 1148
ISBN: 978-1-938113-72-7
Publish Date: 2020

Citation (in Chicago 17th ed. style):

Dombro, A.L., J. Jablon, & C. Stetson. 2020. Powerful Interactions: How to Connect with Children to Extend Their Learning. 2nd ed. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Amy Laura Dombro is an early childhood educator and documentarian who captures stories of change initiatives with the goal of supporting people who do their best work on behalf of children and families. Amy's work serves as a mirror for busy educators and organizations, providing them with the opportunity to see and build upon what works, think creatively to overcome challenges, track progress, and plan next steps on their path forward.

Judy Jablon is the founder and executive director of Leading for Children, a national nonprofit with the mission of providing the best possible early learning experiences for young children while creating environments where educators thrive. Through her writing, video production, and professional development experiences, Judy encourages early childhood educators to draw on their own wisdom to have more meaningful interactions and opportunities for learning.

Charlotte Stetson, MEd, spent the first 20 years of her career in early childhood education teaching young children in varied settings. During the second 20 years, she was a consultant and author. She has worked with teachers, coaches, and administrators to implement best practices in the areas of classroom environment, curriculum content, observation-based assessment, and teacher-child interactions. In addition to Powerful Interactions, she is a coauthor of Observation: The Key to Responsive Teaching; Winning Ways to Learn; The Creative Curriculum Study Starters; and the DVD, The Creative Curriculum in Action! Since retiring in 2014, Charlotte is learning to play the cello, volunteering for Acadia National Park, and pursuing her longstanding photography hobby.

Reviews

Intentionality-one of the most overused and misunderstood words in early childhood education-reclaims its meaning in this clear, simple book about how each interaction with a child can build a path to the confidence and curiosity that children need to become collaborative lifelong learners.

- Joshua Sparrow, Executive Director, Brazelton Touchpoints Center, and Associate Professor, Harvard Medical School

Can you take a classic book and improve it? That was my question in reading this new edition of Powerful Interactions, and the answer is yes. Research-based and full of compelling examples, it provides opportunity after opportunity for teachers to reflect on and promote joyful Powerful Interactions that extend children's learning.

- Ellen Galinsky, Author of Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Skills Every Child Needs

Relationships are at the heart of everything . . . including Powerful Interactions! With a simple framework, the authors help educators be effective and intentional in their interactions with children. This book sets the stage for creating a positive learning environment and building community while laying the foundation for meaningful relationships throughout life.

- Cate Heroman, Early Childhood Consultant and Author, Cate Heroman LLC

Mastery of the three basic steps of Powerful Interactions makes teaching young children look both magical and elegant! Within the pivotal instruction of "once your offer to connect has been accepted by the child" lies the basis for cultivating an authentic, trusting, respectful relationship between teacher and child and, by extension, the family as well. The special features remain key for teaching teams to measure progress and talk about their evidence-based work.

- Jerlean Daniel, Associate Professor Emeritus, University of Pittsburgh, and Former Executive Director, NAEYC

The continuous study and implementation of Powerful Interactions has had a profound impact on our early childhood laboratory program. We have seen the positive effects in relationship building, respectful interactions, and enriched learning experiences. The children, families, teachers, and college student assistants enthusiastically embrace the beautiful content of this book. It serves as quality professional and personal development for all.

- Beth Huber, Director, East Tennessee University Little Buccaneers Early Childhood Laboratory Program

This book is a great resource for my district. The first edition has been used in professional development for leaders of our P-3 Initiative and as part of the district's high school early learning program. It is an easy read for educators as well as a fantastic resource for families.

- Minerva Pardo, Family Engagement Coordinator, West Valley School District

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Powerful Interactions: How to Connect with Children to Extend Their Learning, Second Edition

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In early childhood settings, children and teachers interact all day long. The benefits are enormous when even some of those "everyday" interactions become intentional, purposeful, and culturally responsive-in other words, Powerful Interactions ®! With these three steps, you can embed Powerful Interactions in your daily work with children ages birth through 8: Step One: Be Present.

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About Fred Rogers - Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

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Fred Rogers was the creater and host of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. He transformed the way we think about children and children's television.

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All APHABET Songs! | 30 MINUTES of Alphabet Songs! | Jack Hartmann

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Preschool Teachers

Course Curriculum

Show All Lectures

Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids.

In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities. My goal is help children become adults who lead happier, healthier lives and make the world a better place to be. Together we can create great childhoods and promote a love of life-long learning.

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(1) Preschool Challenging Behaviors_1 Hour

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Preschool Teachers Course Curriculum Show All Lectures Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids. In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities.

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In psychology, priming is a technique in which the introduction of one stimulus influences how people respond to a subsequent stimulus. Priming works by activating an association or representation in memory just before another stimulus or task is introduced.

This phenomenon occurs without our conscious awareness, yet it can have a major impact on numerous aspects of our everyday lives.

At a Glance

What Is Priming?

There are many different examples of how this priming works. For example, exposing someone to the word "yellow" will evoke a faster response to the word "banana" than it would to unrelated words like "television." Because yellow and banana are more closely linked in memory, people respond faster when the second word is presented.

Priming is named as such to evoke the imagery of a water well being primed. Once the well has been primed, water can then be subsequently produced whenever it is turned on. Once the information has been primed in memory, it can be retrieved into awareness more readily.

Types of Priming in Psychology

There are several different types of priming in psychology. Each one works in a specific way and may have different effects.

Positive and Negative Priming

Positive and negative priming describes how priming influences processing speed. Positive priming makes processing faster and speeds up memory retrieval, while negative priming slows it down.

Semantic Priming

Semantic priming involves words that are associated in a logical or linguistic way. The earlier example of responding to the word "banana" more rapidly after being primed with the word "yellow" is an example of semantic priming.

Associative Priming

Associative priming involves using two stimuli that are normally associated with one another. For example, "cat" and "mouse" are two words that are often linked with one another in memory, so the appearance of one of the words can prime the subject to respond more rapidly when the second word appears.

Repetition Priming

Repetition priming occurs when a stimulus and response are repeatedly paired. Because of this, subjects become more likely to respond in a certain way more quickly each time the stimulus appears.

Perceptual Priming

Perceptual priming involves stimuli that have similar forms. For example, the word "goat" will evoke a faster response when it is preceded by the word "boat" because the two words are perceptually similar.

Conceptual Priming

Conceptual priming involves a stimulus and response that are conceptually related. Words such as "seat" and "chair" are likely to show priming effects because they are in the same conceptual category.

Masked Priming

Masked priming involves part of the initial stimulus being obscured in some way, such as with hash marks. Even though the entire stimulus is not visible, it still evokes a response.

The Priming Process

Psychologists believe that units (or schemas) of information are stored in long-term memory. The activation of these schemas can either be increased or decreased in a variety of ways.

When the activation of certain units of information is increased, these memories become easier to access.

When activation is decreased, the information becomes less likely to be retrieved from memory.

So, why would it be useful for related schemas to become activated and more accessible? In many instances, drawing related information into memory more quickly might help people respond faster when the need arises.

For example, schemas related to rainstorms and slick roads may be linked closely in memory. When you see it raining, memories of possible slick road conditions may also come to mind.

Because your mind has been primed to think of this information, you might be better able to think quickly and react rapidly when encountering a dangerous, wet stretch of road on your drive home from work.

Priming Affects Perceptions

The 2018 Yanny/Laurel viral phenomenon is one example of how priming can influence how you perceive information. An ambiguous sound sample was uploaded by an online user with a poll asking what people heard.

Some people distinctly heard "Yanny," while others clearly heard "Laurel." Some people even reported being able to switch back and forth between the words they heard.

Due to the aural ambiguity, psychologists suggest that people rely on priming effects to help determine what they are likelier to hear.

Instead, we utilize what is known as top-down processing. Our brains first recognize some sounds like speech. Then, our brains utilize context cues to interpret the meaning of these speech sounds.

Why You Mishear Song Lyrics

When it comes to hearing either Yanny or Laurel, just being aware of the nature of the viral audio clip primes you to hear it as one or the other. The fact that people who heard the clip were already expecting to hear either Yanny or Laurel primed them to hear either of those two words rather than some other word.

In this case, factors related to sound quality and hearing ability also played a role. Younger people with less age-related hearing damage were more likely to hear "Yanny" because their ears are better able to detect higher frequency sounds. Those who heard Laurel tended to only hear lower-frequency sounds.

Priming Affects Behavior

In one study, researchers implicitly primed participants with words commonly associated with stereotypes about elderly people. Upon leaving the testing booth, people who had been primed with words related to older adults were more likely to walk more slowly than participants who had not been primed.

A study published in the journal Aging and Mental Health found that priming participants with negative aging stereotypes resulted in more negative effects on behaviors and self-rated evaluations. Priming participants with these negative aging stereotypes led to increased feelings of loneliness and an increased frequency of help-seeking.

In other words, bringing to mind stereotypes about elderly people being lonely and helpless actually led to people feeling lonelier and acting more helpless.

A third study, also in Aging and Memory, primed adults 55 and older with negative or positive messages about aging. They then asked participants to recall a list of 30 words. Adults who had been primed with negative messages had worse memory performance than those who received positive messages.

Priming Affects Learning

Teachers and educators can also utilize priming as a learning tool. Some students perform better when they know what they can expect. Tackling new material can sometimes be intimidating, but priming students by presenting information before a lesson is given can help.

Priming is often used as an educational intervention for students with certain learning disabilities. New material is presented before it is taught, allowing the student to become comfortable with it.

For example, students might be allowed to "preview" the books or materials that are going to be used as part of a lesson. Because they are already familiar with the information and materials, they may be better able to pay attention during the actual lesson.

What This Means For You

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How Priming Affects the Psychology of Memory

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Priming is a phenomenon in which previous stimuli influence how people react to subsequent stimuli. Learn how priming works in psychology and its effect on memory.

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FAQ How do I get preschool students interested in book readings?

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Counting! | Caitie's Classroom Sing-Along Show! | Number Songs for Kids!

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(1) Preschool Language and Literacy_2 Hours

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FREE Free Enrollment or pay in installments:

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Recently, someone asked if I could describe exactly what I do the first time I introduce this routine. How do I frame it? What exactly do I say? Here's what I do.

Getting Started

First, the "Intention Setting" activity comes right after three others: the Welcoming, Agenda Review, and Community Agreements. In the Welcoming section, I garner all the warmth, enthusiasm, and calmness I can muster and express my gratitude for being wherever it is that I am and I add other introductory comments. But I keep them short, just a few minutes.

Next we get into the Agenda Review. Sometimes I offer a little framing commentary, giving them some background about why we're going to learn or do what we will and then I invite them to read over the agenda.

They all have hard copies of the agenda which provides a detailed road map for our learning, with overarching outcomes for the session:

The "What" (the activities and topics)

The "Why" (the reasoning behind each section), and,

the "How" (the structures in which they'll learn, the timing for sections and the materials they'll need)

Group Norms and Agreements

Then I ask them to identify what they're looking forward to doing, what they're excited about learning -- and to share those reflections with a partner. This section is important; I want to start directing their thinking to what they'll feel positive about.

After they've shared with a partner and I've answered any clarifying questions about what we're going to do, then I review the community agreements or norms for the group. When I'm working with a group that doesn't have any established, I offer a few of my own: take care of yourself, take risks, be a vulnerable learner, and be mindful of other learners.

And then I move into intentions, and I say this:

"Given where we're going today in our learning together and given whatever you're coming in the room with -- whatever is on your mind and going on in your life -- I want to invite you to set an intention. An intention is a statement about how you want to be today or what you want to get out of today. It describes an aspiration for how you might think, feel, engage with others or engage in your learning so that you can be your best self today.

"This is for you. An intention can sound like, 'I want to be fully present.' To be honest, that's often mine. It could be 'I want to take risks.' An intention could also be, 'I want to connect with others' or, 'I want to ask hard questions because I usually shy away from doing that.' An intention can be 'I want to be accepting of my colleagues and not get annoyed by things they say.' That's been mine on a few occasions. An intention reflects whatever might be most helpful for you, right now, to get the most from today."

Rationale for Setting Intentions

I also offer some information about why setting intentions is useful. I tell them:

"When you set an intention, you are more likely to make choices that support it -- in what we do or what we think. You might forget all about your intention today, but some little part of your mind remembers it."

Sometimes I share this quote by Daniel Siegel, from The Mindful Brain, "Intentions create an integrated state of priming, a gearing up of our neural system to be in the mode of that specific intention: we can be readying to receive, to sense, to focus, to behave in a certain manner." I like sharing that neuroscience supports this activity and that it primes our mind to notice the actions, opportunities, people, and things that can bring about our intention for us. Some who may be less excited about intentions get engaged when I offer scientific reasoning.

After I say these things (and show a couple slides with a few of these phrases on them) I invite them to write their intention on the top of their agenda so that they can find it later. This accomplishes two things: It becomes somewhat mandatory because the overwhelming majority of people will do this since everyone else will be writing, and it lets them know that we'll come back to it.

I also invite them to turn to their partner and share their intention. I tell them, "Speaking your intention to another person creates a really nice, soft accountability for ourselves. Our partner is not going to keep track of whether we're holding it, but because we've told someone else, we'll be more mindful of it."

Then I share my intention with the whole group. Sometimes I share it earlier; it depends on the mood in the room and my relationship with them, but I always share mine at some point. I do this because I want to be softly accountable to them and I also want to model the ways in which we can set an intention -- the depths to which we can go. I look for ways to model intentions that are authentic, vulnerable and that connect me with participants. It's an opportunity for me to show up as a colleague, a learner, and a human being.

If I'm working with a group for more than a couple times, I sometimes add on a piece: I ask them to set an intention and then identify what it'll look or sound like to someone else if they're holding that intention today. "So if your intention is to be present, perhaps that means you will only check your phone or email during the break, or if your intention is to take risks, then maybe you'll contribute to the whole group discussion at least once." I do this because I want to nudge people towards the actions that will demonstrate the intention and that will help them feel successful.

That's how I roll out intentions.

Closing and Reflection

It's really important to go back to them during the time you have with a group. If it's a short meeting (an hour or two) then I'll just return to it at the end of the time, during the "Closing" section of the agenda. I'll say this:

"Pull out your agenda and recall the intention you set. How did that intention work for you today? Were you aware of it at any point? Did it help you in any way? This isn't an opportunity to beat your self up; if you forgot all about it or didn't hold it, that's ok. This is just a gentle reflection on whether it showed up for you."

Sometimes I invite people to share their reflection with their partner, but not always. If I'm working with a group all day, then mid-day, before lunch I'll ask them to return to their intention and see how it's been showing up for them. And after lunch, often as they're returning to their spaces, I'll say:

"As you're settling back in, recall your intention. Does that still feel like the best one for the afternoon? Or is there another intention that might be more helpful? You can always change intentions. As you settle down, settle yourself back into your intention."

The longer you work with a group and engage in this intention-setting routine, the faster, easier, and deeper it gets. That's simply because the more you do something, the easier it gets. And so the more often we remind ourselves that we are intending to do something, the easier it gets.

I set intentions before I go into a coaching session, lead a workshop, or sit down to write. It's a quick way for me to get focused and clear, it helps me feel like I have control over what how I feel, how enter into a conversation, and how experience it.

Try setting them for yourself and see what happens. And try inviting a group of teachers to set intentions and see what happens.

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Setting Intentions: A Powerful Tool To Help Us Learn | Edutopia

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Recently, someone asked if I could describe exactly what I do the first time I introduce this routine. How do I frame it? What exactly do I say? Here's what I do. First, the "Intention Setting" activity comes right after three others: the Welcoming, Agenda Review, and Community Agreements.

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GNJK FAQ's How do I talk about Math? (3 Min)

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GNJK FAQ's How do I talk about Math? (3 Min)

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FAQ How do I talk to infants, toddlers, and preschoolers about math beyond counting?

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A young child's relationships and interactions with the important adults in her life have a great impact on her early brain development and ongoing learning. For most children, family members are the primary caregivers who provide this important foundation. When children enter preschool programs, strong partnerships between home and school can support positive family relationships and promote learning at home.

One way to encourage positive connections within families is by teaching adult family members to use the Powerful Interactions™ framework with their children. Developed by Amy Dombro, Judy Jablon, and Charlotte Stetson, this approach encourages early childhood educators to intentionally create opportunities to interact with young children. (Read more about it in the book Powerful Interactions: How to Connect with Children to Extend Their Learning.) We think it works so well, we want teachers to inspire primary caregivers-moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, anyone!-to use it to support interactions with their young children at home.

Mrs. Lopez walks her son, Danny, into his preschool classroom, ready to start the day. She talks with Melanie, Danny's teacher, about how hard it is to get Danny to read library books with her at home. He doesn't seem interested.

The previous evening, the experience ended with Danny in tears: He wanted to keep playing with his superheroes rather than read together. Mrs. Lopez wonders how she can make reading together a more positive experience for them both.

Melanie listens attentively, thinking about ways she can support this family. She considers what positive interactions she can suggest that center on early reading.

Explaining Powerful Interactions to families

Families know their children's routines, interests, and abilities. They can use this knowledge to incorporate learning opportunities during everyday activities (getting ready for school, riding in the car, bath time).

A meaningful learning opportunity occurs when a child adds new information or skills to what she already knows. The new information should be developmentally appropriate, interesting to her, and understandable and useful across different situations. For example, a child who loves painting may already recognize the colors blue, green, and yellow, but she may not know that mixing together blue and yellow creates green.

Families can use the Powerful Interactions framework to better understand what their children already know and what they may want to learn more about. A meaningful learning opportunity occurs when the family member

Stops what he is doing and watches his child point out and talk about blue and red paint and the picture she is making with them. (Step 1: Be present)

Asks about her favorite colors and says, "Tell me more about your painting." (Step 2: Connect)

Explains that there are primary colors (blue, red, yellow), and when you mix them together in certain combinations, you make secondary colors (green, purple, orange). (Step 3: Extend learning)

Using Powerful Interactions to support different areas of learning

Empower families to use the Powerful Interactions framework to support their children's learning in a variety of areas, like literacy and math.

Meaningful learning opportunities can happen during any activity, and they don't need to feel forced or overly educational. Families can support math learning while doing chores (sorting laundry into darks and lights) and cooking dinner (measuring ingredients). They can support literacy development while riding the bus (pointing out and reading signs) and shopping at the grocery store (reading labels out loud to the child). Encourage family members to be relaxed and to keep learning fun.

In our program, we created family workshops focused on different elements of early literacy, including phonological awareness and the alphabetic principle. Each workshop session included time for participants to talk about opportunities during routines their children enjoy (bath time, playtime, driving in the car) and a discussion of ways to powerfully interact with their children during those times.

Families thought of ways children could listen for and identify sounds during a walk to the playground (phonological awareness) and make letters with water crayons in the bathtub (alphabetic principle). They also came up with different questions adults could ask about a child's day (comprehension/vocabulary).

Building on what families already do

After our workshops, we were deeply inspired by the positive results. Parents reported feeling that their interactions with their children were valued, respected, and appreciated. They were eager for more opportunities to positively engage with their children. One mother shared, "We don't often learn how to interact with our children and then practice it. This has been great." Families also shared that they were beginning to understand how interactions, such as having conversations, contributed to later academic success.

Here are some ideas for teaching the Powerful Interactions approach to families:

Make time to introduce Powerful Interactions (family workshops, family-teacher conferences).

Use multiple occasions and different formats to share and reinforce information about Powerful Interactions and the framework (on the class website, in printed handouts, during drop-off and pickup chats).

Model Powerful Interactions between teachers and children whenever possible, like during drop-off and pickup times, special family-school events, and when parents are volunteering in the classroom.

Think about how the framework might work best for each unique family and community in your classroom.

During her next opportunity to talk with Mrs. Lopez (at a parent-teacher conference), Melanie thanks her for sharing her struggle to get Danny to read books with her. Melanie tells Mrs. Lopez she would like to work together to make things less frustrating. She brings up the Powerful Interactions framework.

Melanie asks when Mrs. Lopez spends time with Danny. Mrs. Lopez explains that they often have time after Danny's younger siblings have gone to sleep. (A perfect opportunity to take Step 1: Be present.)

Mrs. Lopez says that this is usually when Danny wants them to play superheroes together. Melanie smiles and says, "Sounds like that activity is especially fun for Danny-one he loves to play with you." (Melanie encourages Mrs. Lopez to take ( Step 2: Connect.)

The two brainstorm ways Mrs. Lopez can bring fresh, interesting learning opportunities to Danny's superhero play while allowing him to lead the activity-adding to his superhero play, not replacing it. ( St ep 3: Extend learning.)

To extend Danny's learning while engaging in superhero play with him, Mrs. Lopez can

Find books about superheroes that she and Danny can read together

Ask Danny about superheroes' special powers and how they use them

Invite Danny to draw pictures of superheroes and letters to represent them (BP for Black Panther, S for Superman)

Make up stories with Danny involving the characters-they can write them together, or Danny can dictate them to his mom

Later that night, Mrs. Lopez finds Danny playing with his superhero figures on his bed. She listens as he has them talk to each other, planning their next adventure. Sitting down next to him, she picks up one of the figures. She starts thinking about how the superhero she holds could add to the conversation ( Step 1: Be present).

Danny is thrilled to continue planning the adventure and play with his mom. They have the superhero figures talk and help people together (Step 2: Connect).

When it's time for Danny to go to sleep, Mrs. Lopez asks him if they can continue playing together tomorrow and maybe even write down and draw their adventure plan. Danny nods enthusiastically and begins to share what the superheroes may end up doing (St ep 3: Extend learning).

Conclusion

We hope all preschool teachers present this approach to the families of children in their programs. It's a great way to partner with parents, promote positive family relationships, and extend children's learning. At the same time, teachers can help family members feel appreciated and aware of their important roles in children's learning and development.

Steps to Having Powerful Interactions

Step 1. Be present

Put aside all the tasks you need to do (laundry) and any feelings that may distract you (concerns about a work deadline). Give your full attention to the child.

Step 2. Connect

Observe what the child is doing (stacking blocks), listen as he talks to you ("I made a tower."), and let him know you are interested in and focused on his play ("Great! It is very tall.").

Step 3. Extend learning

When the child shares with you, build on his interest and think of ways to make connections that help him learn. Find questions to ask, comments to make, and activities to do together that show your interest and expand his thinking and learning ("I wonder how much higher the tower can go." "Let's count the number of blocks in your tower.").

Helping families engage in these steps encourages the positive interactions already taking place in the home. It also offers ideas for more ways primary caregivers can meaningfully connect with their children.

Ways to Support Families in Applying the Powerful Interactions Framework

If finding one-on-one time with children is challenging, encourage families to use everyday routines (making dinner, cleaning, traveling) as times to interact with their children.

Powerful Interactions can occur between a child and other family members or important people (older siblings, grandparents, babysitters).

Families can engage with one child or with multiple children at once. A lot can happen in 10 to 20 minutes.

Families can find ways to connect different learning areas (talking together and learning new words, storybook reading, drawing, writing stories) based on their children's interests. It could be as simple as using crayons and paper or taking a trip to the library. Families shouldn't feel like they need to spend a lot of money.

It's important to follow a child's lead. Families might hope to do a specific activity with their children (read a book together), but it's okay if the activity goes in a different direction (talk about something on the first page of the book) or if a child needs to stop and come back to the activity later.

Interactions should occur in a language that families feel comfortable and confident using to connect with their children. Using home languages with their children can lead families to provide more natural and meaningful learning opportunities.

Extend learning

Families don't need to make lesson plans or create complicated activities to help their children learn. Conversations, singing songs, dancing, and other familiar activities are great ways for families to engage with children.

It's okay if a child does not engage with or respond to his family during an activity. Families can always try again later or do something differently to see if the child then finds the activity more engaging.

Families do not need to "test" their children at the end of an activity to make sure they have learned something. Instead, learning is extended based on children's specific interests and abilities.

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Promoting Powerful Interactions Between Parents and Children

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One way to encourage positive connections within families is by teaching adult family members to use the Powerful Interactions™ framework with their children.

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Watch full-length Mister Rogers' Neighborhood programs. The first Monday of every month will feature programs from the early years 1968-1975. The third Monday of every month will feature programs from the "Theme Weeks" library 1979-2001.

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Watch full-length Mister Rogers' Neighborhood programs. The first Monday of every month will feature programs from the early years 1968-1975. The third Monday of every month will feature programs from the "Theme Weeks" library 1979-2001.

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The Singing Walrus - English Songs For Kids

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Counting 1-10 Song | Number Songs for Children | The Singing Walrus

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Infants, Toddlers, & Twos Language and Books

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Infants, Toddlers, & Twos Language and Books

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Infants, Toddlers, and Twos Teachers

Show All Lectures

Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids.

In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities. My goal is help children become adults who lead happier, healthier lives and make the world a better place to be. Together we can create great childhoods and promote a love of life-long learning.

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(1) Infants, Toddlers, Twos, Language and Books_2 Hours

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A Grow NJ Kids Developmentally Appropriate Practice Course for Infants, Toddlers, and Twos Teachers Show All Lectures Hi, I'm Brianni Graver, the Training Coordinator at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ for Grow NJ Kids. In this course and all of the courses I teach, I hope to give provide guidance on building children's capacities, resiliency, and social-emotional abilities.

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Who am I? Developing a sense of self and belonging

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Who am I? Developing a sense of self and belonging

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Who am I? Developing a Sense of Self and Belonging

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Who am I? This fundamental aspect of being human begins construction in infancy. Read more about developing a sense of self and belonging.

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FAQ What are open-ended questions? (4 Min)

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Guiding children's behavior is something done throughout the day, not just when a child acts in a way that is unsafe or unacceptable. You guide behavior by establishing predictable routines, setting clear rules with children, and modeling kindness and respect. You are also attentive and aware of what is going on. Together, these actions help children feel noticed, confident, and secure. Children experience your attention and guidance as a caring embrace holding everything together. They know you're on their team. (Dombro, Jablon, & Stetson 2011, 58)

This excerpt shapes our thinking as we plan for positive guidance in our classroom at a preschool in Pahoa, Hawaii. Using the three steps of a Powerful Interaction-Be Present, Connect, and Extend Learning-helps us be more successful at building strong, caring relationships with children and families. Powerful Interactions are interactions in which a teacher intentionally connects with a child to extend his or her learning. We also actively plan for guidance, which keeps a positive climate in our classroom. This boosts how we feel at the end of the day and enhances each child's success as a learner.

Here are some strategies we use to plan for positive guidance, keeping a Powerful Interactions approach in mind.

Teamwork makes positive guidance more effective and Powerful Interactions possible!

It took time for us to become an effective teaching team. We had never worked together and had to become acquainted with each other's teaching style. However, we wanted to be a seamless team because children tune in to their significant adults. We strive to coordinate our messages to children and make them clear and consistent. By staying present (step one of a Powerful Interaction) with each other and connected with our eyes, words, laughter, and other cues, we extend children's learning during group times and transitions. Our teamwork has positive effects on children's behavior and the classroom climate. It also gives us more energy to guide children in positive ways and enjoy each day. Three tips help us ensure seamless teamwork:

1. Be clear about roles. When we plan together, we clarify who will do what and when. Our goal is to be predictable about our roles during routines so that the children can anticipate what's going to happen and who to look to for directions. This reduces challenging behaviors significantly. For example, at arrival time, Deborah greets children in our lending library and talks with them about books. At the same time, Danielle greets children and families at the classroom door and then moves around the room to support them as they do morning activities.

2. Make two voices one, literally and figuratively. This helps us deliver clear and cohesive messages to children. Too often children check with one adult and if they don't like the answer, ask the other one. When children hear our voices from different areas of the room, they are more relaxed. We're playful and sometimes silly about how we make our two voices one. We might echo each other's voices melodically, complete each other's sentences when giving directions, or finish each other's rhymes. Danielle says, "There was one little bat in one big cave," while looking over at Deborah who immediately chimes in, "He was so alone and not so brave." The children enjoy the predictability of listening for our voices bouncing back and forth. Sometimes they look at the other adult to see what she'll say.

3. Use frequent check-ins. We continually check in with each other throughout the day about what children are doing and how they are responding to activities and other children. We give each other signals about how things are going. The more we stay present, the easier it is to connect with each other. The result is a calmer classroom and fewer episodes of challenging behaviors. These tips have worked for us:

Be on opposite sides of the room during indoor time to keep things running smoothly.

Scan the room frequently, looking at what children are doing and at one another. Quickly read each other's cues, such as a thumbs-up, smile, nod, or lift of an eyebrow.

Update each other after an interaction with a child or family member. A quick summary or saying "Remind me to tell you about _____ later today" ensures consistency with each other, the children, and their families.

Tune in to those children who need a little more attention. This can prevent challenging situations by catching them before they start.

Use daily arrival time to set the tone for positive guidance.

At the beginning of the year, teachers get to know children and their families through home visits and an orientation period (when a few children come for a few hours each day). During the orientation we introduce our arrival time routines. Our goal is for parents to have positive interactions with their children and for us to have Powerful Interactions with children and family members. Our routine and roles allow us to be present and connect with each child and her family for at least a few minutes. We plan activities that address positive guidance as well as language and literacy and math learning. When the day begins well, most children stay engaged and focused. Our predictable routine has three parts:

1. Offer specific activities in learning centers. We display simple written directions for activities parents and children can do together. While completing the activities is not required, parents and children often do them because they are engaging and they spark ideas to use at home.

2. Write an interactive morning message. The daily message is for families to read to their child as the child points to each word. Part of the message specifically relates to positive guidance. In Hawaiian culture and in our program, we emphasize the values of aloha (kindness), malama (caring), and kuleana (responsibility). To engage families and children in discussion, one question invites reflection about one of these three values. For example, the message might ask, What's one way that you will show malama today? A family member helps the child answer the question, records his answer on a Post-it note, and adds it to a message chart that is on display for the week. Additional messages might ask, "How many letters are in your name?" or "Who brought you to school today?" We discuss the daily message when we gather for group time later in the morning.

3. Create a library. To encourage Powerful Interactions at home, we set up a lending library. Books are arranged in categories (that change periodically) so children can return their book in the morning and make a new selection. Children enjoy talking with Deborah about the books they return and hearing her recommendations for new selections.

Ensure smooth transitions.

As a team, we sustain a warm and friendly classroom climate by planning for and using teamwork to ensure smooth transitions. Over time we have established a repertoire of successful strategies in three main categories:

1. Humor. A light tone gives us energy and invites positive responses from children. Whether it is simply laughing aloud, making up a silly rhyme to give a direction, or singing funny words to a familiar song, we keep our transition times light and engaging. Sometimes we're laughing at each other and our own silliness, which makes the children laugh, too.

2. Puppets. When we gather on the rug between activities, we each wear a finger puppet. The puppets talk about what will happen next, what they observed about cleanup, or the behaviors expected in the next activity. The children know these puppets well and seem completely invested in listening to them. Daisy: Hey Fuzzy, I used my walking feet when I came over to large group. Fuzzy: Me too. We know our kuleana (responsibilities), don't we!

3. Music. Songs and melodies add to the positive climate. When interacting with one child at a time, we use natural, authentic voices. However, when we want to engage the whole group, we find that singing directions captures their attention more than our normal voices. These strategies work for us:

Give verbal directions in a melodic voice.

Use call-and-response or rhymes or something that allows voices to alternate. When we sing songs that have an echo pattern-like "Down by the Bay"-the children know to expect our voices to alternate.

Give directions as lyrics to a familiar song and alternate voices. For example, as it gets close to cleanup, Deborah starts singing to Danielle to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It."

Deborah: Kumu (teacher) Danielle, are you ready to ring the chimes? (2x)

Danielle chimes in,

Yes I am and I'm walking over now

and I am ready to ring the chimes.

Deborah then begins the next verse as she guides the children in cleaning up, and Danielle moves toward the rug to help settle children.

Remember what to do when you hear the chimes . . . (2x)

We clean up our activity,

and walk over to our name,

and sit right down and show Kumu Danielle that you're ready.

We have shared the ways we plan for positive guidance and use Powerful Interactions in our classroom to create a positive climate that prevents many challenging behaviors. The result is an enjoyable, effective, and productive learning environment. We hope you find the suggestions effective and that they spark more ideas for helping children and families.

Photo courtesy of the authors

Reference

Dombro, A.L., J. Jablon, & C. Stetson. 2011. Powerful Interactions: How to Connect with Children to Extend Their Learning. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

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Planning for Positive Guidance: Powerful Interactions Make a Difference

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Here are some strategies we use to plan for positive guidance, keeping a Powerful Interactions approach in mind.

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Mr  Roger's Neighborhood Intro Theme240p H 264 AAC

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The ants go marching one by one song | Ants at war

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This webinar was pre-recorded with live participants by the Grow NJ Kids Northeast and Central Technical Assistance Centers at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ. As such, you will not be able to engage with any quizzes or polls conducted during this webinar as they are now closed.

At the end of this webinar, you will receive a certificate. In order to receive credit on NJCCIS, you must submit your certificate directly to NJCCIS.com.

Thank you.

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This webinar was pre-recorded with live participants by the Grow NJ Kids Northeast and Central Technical Assistance Centers at Prevent Child Abuse-NJ. As such, you will not be able to engage with any quizzes or polls conducted during this webinar as they are now closed.

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I love Eve Merriam's work. Here is one of my favorites, which I will be sharing with the teachers attending the Beginning Workshop Training that starts Monday.

A Lazy Thought
By Eve Merriam

There go the grownups
To the office,
To the store.
Subway rush,
Traffic crush;
Hurry, scurry,
Worry, flurry.

Isn't this so very true? It does take a lot of slow to grow . . . I love this reminder as I'm ready to step into a new school year.

Unhurried. Finding the magic in the middle of living. Capturing a life of ridiculous grace + raw stories. View all posts by Ruth Ayres

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I love Eve Merriam's work. Here is one of my favorites, which I will be sharing with the teachers attending the Beginning Workshop Training that starts Monday. A Lazy Thought By Eve Merriam There go the grownups To the office, To the store. Subway rush, Traffic crush; Hurry, scurry, Worry, flurry.

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FAQ How can I make transitions in my classroom smoother?

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About the Book

Slow down, tune in, and discover the very purposeful play of infants and toddlers. Addressing considerations like choosing interesting materials, setting up safe and inviting environments, and why you are the most important element of play for very young children, the authors come alongside to help you

Better understand what play means for infants and toddlers

Read children's cues and respond to their needs for more challenge, a break from interaction, or a play partner

Support children's physical, social and emotional, language, and cognitive development

Adapt the way you play with children and what materials you offer based on individual abilities, interests, and needs

Look at toddler behavior in new ways and use proven strategies to help children navigate play situations with peers

This book is a delightful, easy read, full of insights like how to provide play choices for even very young children and why sportscasting is not just for TV but for infant and toddler classrooms, too. With its spot-on ideas and delightful anecdotes, you'll gain a new appreciation for infants' and toddlers' competence and curiosity and how important your role is in the birth-to-3 adventure.

This is play for very young children and for you. Come and explore.

Introduction
Developmentally Appropriate Practice

Chapter 1: The Importance of Play for Young Children

What Is Play and What Does It Mean for Infants and Toddlers?

Why Do Adults Need to Facilitate Infants' and Toddlers' Play?

What Does It Mean to Facilitate Young Children's Play?

Connect and Communicate with Families

Document Children's Play and Learning

Where to Find More: Resources for Teachers and Famillies

Chapter 2: The Young Infant: Birth to 9 Months

What's an Infant Like from Birth to 3 Months?

What's an Infant Like at 3 to 6 Months?

What's an Infant Like at 6 to 9 Months?

What's a Teacher of Young Infants Like?

The Teacher's Role: Be Caring and Responsive

An Engaging Environment for Young Infants: Simple and Soothing

Where to Find More: Resources for Teachers and Families

Chapter 3: The Mobile Infant: 8 to 18 Months

What's an Infant Like at 8 to 12 Months?

What's an Infant Like at 12 to 18 Months?

What's a Teacher of Mobile Infants Like?

The Teacher's Role: Provide a Safe Environment for Exploring

An Engaging Environment for Mobile Infants: Safe and Inviting for Exploration

Where to Find More: Resources for Teachers and Families

Chapter 4: The Toddler: 16 to 36 Months

What's a Toddler Like at 16 to 24 Months?

What's a Toddler Like at 24 to 30 Months?

What's a Toddler Like at 30 to 36 Months?

What's a Teacher of Toddlers Like?

The Teacher's Role: Engage Children in New Experiences and Help Them Navigate Interactions

An Engaging Environment for Toddlers: More Complex Opportunities for Investigating and Interacting

Where to Find More: Resources for Teachers and Families

Chapter 5: Working with Children with Diverse Characteristics, Abilities, and Needs

Partner with Families Using a Strengths-Based Model

Strategies for Supporting Children in Play

Where to Find More: Resources for Teachers and Families

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

References

About the Authors

Julia Luckenbill, MA, is program coordinator at the Early Childhood Lab School at UC Davis.

Aarti Subramaniam, PhD, is a research analyst for the University of California Agriculture and Natural Resources' 4-H program.

Reviews

Infant and toddler teachers will love this book! In rich classroom vignettes, they will see themselves respected as professionals whose work demands deep knowledge and skills. The authors offer numerous practical, friendly strategies to promote all children's development through playful environments and interactions.

- Marilou Hyson, Early Childhood Education Consultant

This book shares a wealth of information that helps teachers understand what play looks like for infants and toddlers and how to make the most of their time with babies!

- Linda Gillespie, Parent and Infant Specialist

This Is Play invites readers to consider what is most central to play: the humans engaged in it! This book brings to life what it means to be a coexplorer as infants and toddlers discover the world, learning with and from them. Chock-full of real-world examples, this is an excellent resource for preparing professionals for the field!

- Elita Amini Virmani, Associate Professor, Early Childhood Studies, Sonoma State University

What a gift to infant and toddler teachers! This book offers an engaging blend of developmental information, practical strategies, and inspiration. It's an extremely valuable resource for helping teachers facilitate infant and toddler play based on a deep understanding of the children and families they serve.

- Catherine Tsao, Senior Program Associate, WestEd

Early support of play skills is critical for young children with and without developmental differences. The authors make play, a complex topic, accessible to those less familiar with the importance of play for children's development, and the practical strategies and resources are useful for any parent or teacher of young children.

- Jennifer Frey, Associate Professor, Graduate School of Education & Human Development, The George Washington University

This is a long-awaited practical resource for infant and toddler teachers that focuses on what play is, why it is so crucially important, and how to scaffold play with our youngest learners. A must-read for infant and toddler teachers!

- Adria Bader, Curriculum and Education Manager, LeafSpring Schools, Virginia

This Is Play is a comprehensive and practical guide to best practices for those of us working with our youngest children. The book's emphasis on the role of play in the nuanced flow of caring for and developing relationships with infants and toddlers is a critical component.

- Jennifer Addleman and Samantha Sisk, Coteachers, Campus View Child Care Center

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This Is Play: Environments and Interactions that Engage Infants and Toddlers

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Slow down, tune in, and discover the very purposeful play of infants and toddlers.

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We connect with them through shows that are fun, relatable, and put their social and emotional learning front and center. That's how we've earned the trust of parents, caregivers, and teachers. Together with talented creators, writers, illustrators, animators, and producers, we create shows that foster a natural enthusiasm for learning and that make kids smile while they learn big life lessons. We are always exploring how to make the most of new ways for kids to watch and play.

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Peg + CatAdorable and spirited Peg along with her sidekick, Cat, embark on adventures and learn math. Learn More Daniel Tiger's NeighborhoodDaniel Tiger shares relatable preschool experiences with his friends in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

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GNJK FAQ's Challenging Behaviors (6 Min)

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GNJK FAQ's Challenging Behaviors (6 Min)

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FAQ What can I do about challenging behaviors in my early ed classroom?

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A Guide for Partnering with Early Childhood Teachers

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A Guide for Partnering with Early Childhood Teachers

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Judy Jablon, Amy Laura Dombro, Shaun Johnsen

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Coaching with Powerful Interactions: A Guide for Partnering with Early Childhood Teachers, Second Edition

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Learn more about Coaching with Powerful Interactions: A Guide for Partnering with Early Childhood Teachers, Second Edition

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Fred Rogers Productions builds on Fred Rogers' legacy in innovative ways through a variety of media and engages new generations of children and families with...

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The Singing Walrus - English Songs For Kids

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Rainbow Colors Song | Colors Song for Kids | The Singing Walrus

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Engaging Children in Conversations Video (5 mins)

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Engaging Children in Conversations Video (5 mins)

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Narrator: Welcome to this short in-service on engaging children in conversations. In this in-service, you'll learn how to get started in conversations with children and how important these conversations can be to young children's development and learning.

The National Center on Quality Teaching and Learning uses the House Framework to illustrate the components that are necessary for supporting school readiness for all children. Conversations are part of the foundation of our House. That is, conversations are a key feature of engaging interactions and environments. Conversations are back-and-forth verbal exchanges. Through these exchanges, children and adults share information, observations, ideas, thoughts, and feelings.

Conversations are important because they enhance children's language skills. During the early childhood years, children are gaining vocabulary and learning how language works. Conversations with more skilled speakers, like adults, can help. Conversations also foster children's cognitive development.

Through the exchange of information and ideas, children learn new concepts and how to express those concepts and wonder about them. Conversations also enhance children's social development.

Conversations are social interactions and involve give and take, listening and responding.

This in-service provides guidance for getting started on engaging children in conversations and strategies to keep the conversations going. Many teachers are already skilled conversationalists. This in-service may serve as a reminder that might be useful for the occasional child who seems uninterested. These strategies may also be helpful for aides and volunteers who haven't had that much practice in conversations with young children. Also, be aware that adults have a tendency to dominate conversations with children. Waiting your turn and a little bit of silence are key to productive conversations.

Here are a few hints for setting the stage and getting started in a conversation with a child. Get at the child's level. You should be able to see the child's face and the child should be able to see yours. Listen to what the child has to say or watch carefully to see what the child is interested in. Match your tone to the child's affect. If the child is happy and excited, show your pleasure. If the child is worried and serious, show your concern. Make sure to provide opportunities for turn-taking.

Here are a few more suggestions to keep the conversation going. Comment on what the child is doing or saying. Ask questions related to what the child is doing or saying. Wait or pause; really listen. Respond by adding a little more. You can repeat or clarify or expand on the child's ideas. And pause again to give the child a chance to take their own turn.

Let's look and listen to a teacher and child having a conversation.

[Video begins] Teacher: Okay, is the baby ready? I'm back. I can hold your baby for you.

Girl: It's my baby.

Teacher: Is this your baby? What's her name? Girl 1: Gretchen.

Teacher: Did you say Griffin? Girl 2: Diamond.

Teacher: Diamond. I like that name. That's a beautiful name. Girl 1: Gretchen is a baby.

Teacher: So have we already fed her breakfast? Girl 2: Not yet. There's cupcakes. [Video ends]

Narrator: Think about what you've just seen. Did the teacher get at the child's eye level? Did she comment or ask questions? Did she wait so that the child could take a turn?

This in-service highlighted some of the benefits of conversations for children. Conversations can take place throughout the day: at arrival and departure; during snacks and meals; and during play and activities.

Thank you for listening. Check out our tips for teachers and other resources to help engage children in conversations. There's lots more to learn about conversations, so see our other in-services on this topic. Most of all, have fun having conversations with your children and hearing about all they know and how much they want to learn. Thank you.

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Engaging Children in Conversations | ECLKC

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Narrator: Welcome to this short in-service on engaging children in conversations. In this in-service, you'll learn how to get started in conversations with children and how important these conversations can be to young children's development and learning. The National Center on Quality Teaching and Learning uses the House Framework to illustrate the components that are necessary for supporting school readiness for all children.

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Thoughts on the Article | Barbara Henderson, Voices Executive Editor

Even long-time teachers like Christopher Taaffe often struggle to deal productively with children's social conflict. This study explores how even very young children form intense social bonds with peers, and how complex their social interactions can be. A real strength of this study is how it reveals the social competence of children who have just turned 3-competence attained far earlier than traditional developmental theories would suggest. Taaffe becomes increasingly aware of the reason and need behind the children's behavior and uses his insider status as their teacher to make changes to the curriculum to serve them and the class as a whole.

The study's findings are strongly linked with the broader literature, demonstrating how teacher research can add significantly to the educational knowledge base. In fact, there are few naturalistic studies of triad relationships with children this young. Taaffe has a sharp eye for observing children in their element. His observations capture the girls as they talk amongst themselves and in their interactions with teachers. Peer-to-peer conversations are some of the most telling evidence showing how much of what looks like simple social aggression is actually a workshop for children's thinking about how to get along.

Lisa is the last of three girls bobbing across the yard, playing follow the leader on yellow Hoppity-Hops. "Wait for me, guys! Play with me, guys!" she begs. Ellen and Gretchen don't stop or look back. Other children peer up anxiously as Lisa, in tears, wails plaintively, "You guys have to play with me. Play with me, guys." The other two bounce on, ignoring her. Lisa notices me watching and cries out, "I want them to play with me and they won't. They won't!" My answer is naïve, unaware: "But you are-you're hopping right with them!" Her face is a mask of misery and panic. "No, they won't play with me!" But a short while later it is Gretchen who is hurtling herself face down onto the sand, tears streaming, wailing that Lisa won't play with her. Lisa is now running happily with Ellen.

A few days later, Gretchen and Ellen are in the block area happily using tools. As Ellen watches, Lisa moves in and tries to grab a toy shovel from Gretchen, who resists and pulls back. Lisa retorts, "Let's go play somewhere else, Ellen!" Ellen replies brightly, "Yes! Let's go play in the playhouse [dramatic play area]," and they leave. Gretchen is bereft, sobbing.

Ellen, Gretchen, and Lisa, not yet 3, were locked for many weeks in a social triangle, wrenched by escalating clashes over who got to play with whom at any given time. Like other young preschool girls, each one strongly preferred to play in a dyad (Benenson 1993). As all three initially refused to play with any other children, one of the girls was always left out. The excluded child would invariably throw a tantrum, screaming at and sometimes even physically attacking the other two. Even more upsetting, the trio rearranged their pairings several times an hour. Each shift would result in tears, shouts, frustration, and anger. This deeply stressed the girls, interrupted their play time, and sharply disturbed the other children's activities. As scenes such as those unfolded, I asked myself: What micro-events, what confluence of factors, causes these abrupt re-pairings? If I could answer that, I might be able to help ease them past their conflicts less painfully.

As a veteran early childhood educator, I don't expect a conflict-free classroom. But these were not the typical toddler disputes. They were similar to the pitched emotional battles over friendships and play partners often seen in older children (Underwood 2003). Oddly, too, this was the second year in a row my class included a very contentious play triangle. The previous time it had been three boys, so gender didn't seem to be a factor. The children's harsh strife, deep anguish at being excluded, and disruption of other children's play all greatly troubled me. This led me to the questions at the heart of my teacher research: How could my coteachers and I figure out what was going on in the girls' interactions? What could we do to help these children manage their relationships? My initial impulse was to somehow understand the source of these painful incidents, mainly so we might anticipate and prevent them.

Review of literature

A large body of literature describes typical child development and the evolving cognitive and affective capabilities that underlie young children's growing social competence. Much research describes the typical maturation of emotion, empathy, thinking, and language involved in play among 2s and 3s (Brownell & Kopp 2007). However, practical help for educators regarding classroom management strategies, and teachers' roles in scaffolding positive peer interactions with older toddlers, is limited within early childhood research. Its inquiries usually focus on correlates and effects of behavior. A few studies describe teacher strategies to help less-skilled children enter play with available partners (Hazen & Black 1984; Bullock 1988; Fox & Lentini 2006; Gillespie & Hunter 2010), although this wasn't quite the situation we faced. The same was true of other studies that examine how children interact in short-lived, three-way child encounters in the laboratory (McLloyd et al. 1984; Ishikawa & Hay 2006). However, I could find no naturalistic or clinical research about young preschoolers involved in exclusive, persistent, and highly conflicting groups of three.

Peer-culture studies helped me better understand the trio's tumultuous encounters (Kantor et al. 1993; Corsaro 2003; Neimark 2012). As I read this work I began to see that children's exclusions and rejections were not necessarily cruel or even artless. The central tenet of such studies is that children are social agents, shaping their relational networks and seeking to control their social worlds outside of adult agendas. The peer culture literature reminds teachers to focus on the child's point of view, on how any given behavior is meant to serve her goals of creating knowledge or connection (Avgitidou 2001). In this view, when children hoard certain toys, dominate certain spaces at school, invent private language or rituals, speak harshly to each other, or exclude each other (all behavior that Ellen, Lisa, and Gretchen used regularly), these interactions serve as little workshops in which they gradually forge satisfying processes of play and companionship.

My preconceptions about children's conflicts had diminished my teaching success.

Older toddlers, more aware of the delights of shared play and gradually moving into more collaborative play, are just learning the complicated skills of keeping these play connections going. Their play with other children may feel so fragile and precarious to them (Corsaro 2003) that they act to protect it with exclusionary behavior or verbal aggression. Such acts may not be the evidence of selfishness, defiance, or even antisocial impulses that many adults tend to assume. As I started this study, the intensity of the triad's conflicts, and their appearance so early in preschool, tended to make me wonder if the girls' hurtful behavior resulted from emotional disequilibrium or even aggressive traits.

The constructivist view of child development says that children actively assemble knowledge and meaning, rather than just imitating others or passively receiving understandings. Piaget (1966) saw this process of cognitive growth as a mainly internal, solitary process, with only peripheral attention to the role of play with others. Vygotsky (1978), in contrast, described such learning as occurring mainly in social contexts, during moments of close collaboration in shared activities. The notion that children develop an ability to see that other people have feelings or understandings different than their own is called the "theory of mind." This ability is key to collaborative learning. How were the three girls learning from each other's reactions in these situations, and what were they learning?

The sociocultural perspective of Rogoff and others provides another frame for this teacher research. The customary practices, values, and language of a society shape its children's encounters with each other. Children's behavior mirrors cultural norms of emotional expression, friendship, community, status, conflict, and property (Rogoff 2003). Culture and economic class also mold the teaching methods and child behavior that early childhood teachers consider appropriate (Tobin et al. 2011). For instance, in Japanese culture, preschool teachers permit other children to tease or exclude certain girls so as to evoke their amae, or culturally valuable feeling of loneliness, and sudan shugi, or social mindedness (Hayashi & Tobin 2009). My own cultural model led me to suppress conflicts and "negative" feelings.

My frame of reference

My upbringing provided another frame, teaching me to see the exclusion of others, or the refusal to share, as selfish and egoistic. To nurture children and better our society, I'd always taught children to treat each other gently and avoid excluding others as part of building their sense of community. Prior to this study, in my role as a teacher I uncritically endorsed the "you can't say you can't play" guidelines (Paley 1992; Harrist & Bradley 2003), automatically insisting in each situation that children include all others who wish to join in.

My own teacher training also affected my thinking about conflict between children. Echoing Piaget's theories, it taught me that young children are egoistic thinkers, and therefore, empathetic behavior couldn't develop until later in childhood (Piaget 1966). I learned from this that young children require adult instruction to form positive social attitudes, and that children's clashes were to be minimized as antisocial.

My initial research on the sources of the girls' painful interactions challenged prior assumptions. Looking closely into the causation of the girls' sudden regroupings, exploring what insight they gained and how they gleaned social knowledge, all changed my perspective. I had wanted to see how my colleagues and I could lessen classroom discord and help children manage their relationships. What I didn't know beforehand was that my study would greatly shift how I understood the functions of conflict, which in turn influenced how the children related with each other.

Design of the study

The participants and the setting

My teacher research project included three children and three teachers in the oldest toddler class of a private preschool. I started collecting data halfway through the school year. Lisa, who was sturdy, lively, passionate, and opinionated, was most likely to express negative feelings about the others' behavior, and often tried to direct their play. Ellen, verbal and impish, often negotiated her way back into a dyad by using skills of planning and persuasion. Gretchen was the most outwardly emotional one, most upset by exclusions or frustrations. She needed the most help from teachers to regain her equilibrium. All three loved dancing, chasing, trying new materials at the art table, and playing under the climbing structure or in the dramatic play area.

The children came from intact, two-parent, middle-class families. All were Caucasian, like 76 percent of my students. The 17 children in the class ranged in age from 24 to 34 months when they started in the fall.

This study helped me construct an understanding of how children learn about social connections.

My school is a private nonprofit in a university town with a full-day, play-based program using an emergent curriculum approach and emphasizing social and emotional learning. Our class, housed in a modest-sized room, has many learning materials available on open shelves and an inviting dramatic play area in a roomy alcove three steps up from the main room. We have our own yard, surfaced with sand and lined by foliage, with a redwood tree in the corner, a playhouse, a climbing structure, and a dome. The teachers were Martha, Annie, and myself. Martha and Annie each had more than three years of teaching experience; I have taught for more than 30 years.

Research plan, data collection, and analysis

As the study began, I avoided intervening in the girls' conflicts because I intended to study how they dealt with each other free of my interference. However, I watched to make sure they weren't harming each other, stepping in to guide them only when they became too overwrought to cope. Yet at the same time, from my own experience I knew that very young children also need extra help in relating. As one teacher researcher wrote, "I realize more strongly now the importance of building and guiding friendships for toddlers. I need[ed] to learn the different cues that toddlers use to [communicate to understand when and what kind of intervention might] promote friendship" (Meier & Henderson 2007, 104). As the study progressed, therefore, our teaching team decided to offer more active assistance.

Data collection

In order to answer my questions, over a period of five months I documented the children's interactions with each other throughout the day, recording my interpretations and those of the teachers and parents. I began my research by creating various time charts to log the girls' interactions by the minute and get a clearer view of their social dynamics. This proved unworkable because I had little chance to write many notes and because encounters didn't fit into neat five-minute time slots. I then created a simpler, split-page chart on which I could record the social "moves" that accompanied their re-pairings. My data included transcripts of the girls' conversations, reflections in my journal, a few photos, and the field notes about their interactions. I also used my coteachers' observations, checking my field notes and analyses with them to strengthen accuracy. I spoke about the children's behavior at home with their parents, who described the usual sibling conflicts and the mostly typical behavior of 3-year-olds. I separately interviewed each girl (once in February, once in April) about her likes and dislikes, her playmate preferences, and her feelings about the others.

Analysis methodology

I analyzed my field notes and transcripts and identified anecdotes that illustrated key social behavior and teacher intervention methods. I coded them by date, type of interaction, participants, emotional tone, the resulting dyad after conflict (or cooperation), and the language of inclusion and exclusion they used. I looked for patterns, beginning with the order of the three girls' arrival at school each morning as they arranged their initial dyad formation. I also considered how personality and temperament might be shaping their interactions.

Findings and analysis

This study helped me construct a more detailed understanding of how children learn about social connections and dynamics through their experiments with exclusion, pairing-off, verbal exchanges, and hurt feelings. I was able to see some effects of this new understanding on the children and on my classroom practice. My first finding was that conflict among children is not always negative, requiring adult intervention. This called my previous beliefs into question. The data I collected about these highly interactive conflicts challenged the widely held conclusion that young children are chiefly egoistic, inherently insensitive to each other, and lacking in empathy or social awareness. The three children's conflicts were real, and often hurtful, which is why initially I saw them primarily from a disapproving adult perspective.

My data reinforced the finding that peer cultures among preschoolers involve a resistive stance toward adult expectations and rules that teachers often mistake as defiant or headstrong (Corsaro 2003). But children creating peer cultures bend adult rules more out of a desire for self-identity and creativity, to mark them as the children's inventions, slightly outside of adult control. The triad's whole pattern of noisy conflict fit this feature of peer cultures. The girls' frequent re-pairings gave each one many chances to violate teacher expectations in a variety of roles.

The children's interpersonal awareness impressed me with its intentionality.

Through analyzing the data, I came to see that deficit-based thinking about children's behavior during conflict only obscures useful insights about such behavior, and thus undermines effective teaching. Instead, I began to understand that these girls exhibited much more sophisticated social skills at this early age than I had thought possible. I was often jolted by the girls' persuasive abilities and their maneuvers to shape their world of play relationships, as in this excerpt.

From Field Notes, February 5:

Ellen and Gretchen are sitting on the toilets together. Gretchen had needed to use the bathroom, and Ellen quickly volunteered to go along. They conversed:

Ellen: (At once asking and insisting) We're just gonna play together, Gretchen. (Gretchen replies inaudibly.)

Ellen: (Persisting) I'm just gonna play with you, right Gretchen? Not Lisa.

Gretchen: (Evasively) I'm not playing with Lisa, I'm going to the potty!

Ellen: (Wheedling) You're not Lisa's friend, right?

Gretchen: (Slightly challenging) Are you Lisa's friend?

Ellen: No, I'm just your friend! (She changes the subject.) Is your brother your friend?

The children's display of interpersonal awareness and planning surprised and impressed me with its intricacy and intentionality. I felt that Ellen arranged this chance to be alone with Gretchen (a captive audience) to monopolize her loyalty and seek Gretchen's vow not to play with Lisa. Gretchen at first seemed to evade the issue, but wound up fishing for Ellen's statement of commitment to her ("Are you Lisa's friend?"). Ellen pressed on, telling Gretchen that she was her preferred playmate. Moment by moment, both girls seemed to be assessing the other's words and intonations, intuiting each other's intentions, seeking to modify each other's stance, and adjusting their maneuvers as they engaged in purposeful planning to exclude the third girl.

In looking at the patterns across my data, I found that each girl was aware of her own emotional states and grew more aware of the feelings of the other two. Each deeply felt the pain of exclusion or the triumph of being "chosen." However, even though each girl seemed aware of the grief of being the "odd man out," she nevertheless always chose the privilege to play as a dyad when it was offered-or when she could arrange to get it.

Another finding suggested by the data was that the girls were perceptive observers. Their jockeying for dyad connection showed how they paid attention to each other-a cognitive as well as affective advance. They derived interpersonal knowledge from facial expressions and postures. They seemed able to predict each other's behavior, plan future action, intuit each other's states of mind, and act to influence, delay gratification, and even assess each other's play potential (Corsaro 2003; Neimark 2012). Each girl created tactics to get herself "in good with" the desired partner, using knowledge of her play preferences or family ties. For example, in the February 5 field notes, Ellen shifted the awkward conversation by mentioning the older brother whom Gretchen adored.

The girls also appeared to monitor their own efforts to influence others' actions and adjusted their strategies as needed-another example of their increased skills of self-regulation. For example, on April 15, as Lisa and Gretchen lay giggling beneath the favorite quilt on the play bed, Ellen playfully leaped on top of them and begged Lisa to come with her. Lisa told her to go away. Using her awareness that Lisa loved baby care, Ellen switched tactics. She snatched up a doll and crooned temptingly, "Here's your baby, Lisa, here's your baby! C'mon!" Considering Lisa's feelings enabled Ellen to choose an other-centered strategy-though in the end Lisa didn't go off with her as she had hoped!

Teacher approaches

As the study progressed, my approach to the children was modified by my enhanced understanding of their exchanges. I came to see that tussling over their alignments allowed them to explore interpersonal power and negotiate social mazes. My early response to the triad conflicts had been automatic rather than thoughtful. Initially, when conflicts occurred I found that my efforts to lecture or to suppress the conflict didn't work, as the following vignette shows.

From Field Notes, March 4:

Gretchen is playing with Mita (an unusual combo!) in the book area. Lisa runs up, taunting, "You can't be our fre-end" in a singsong way, and then scoots away. Gretchen's face dissolves in a flood of tears and sobs. Annoyed, I step in, leading Lisa back over to Gretchen. "Look at Gretchen's face, Lisa," I scolded. "When you say that to her, it hurts her. That's why she's crying. It's not OK to hurt our friends. What could you say to Gretchen that might help her feel a bit better?" Lisa's face crumpled as she began to sob.

We teachers conferred privately to find more effective responses. As adults we couldn't "make over" their play arrangements, much less guarantee their tranquility. Instead, to model gentler language and sociable behavior, we set out to role-play some different ways to interact. On four occasions my coteacher Martha staged short plays for all the children at story time (using puppets) in which the characters excluded each other and acted upset. Then she asked the class to suggest other ways the characters could speak to each other. She helped the children develop some new responses, such as "You can play with us later!" instead of "You can't play with us!" Martha then reenacted the scene using these new phrases, which yielded happier outcomes for the puppets.

From Field Notes, March 18:

Ten days after the second similar "puppet show," I overheard new dialogue: Lisa and Ellen approached Gretchen at the art table, chanting, "You have to be the monster, Gretchen!" "I'm not the monster!" she said, refusing to play. I expected Lisa to argue, but she replied cheerfully, "OK. We'll play with you later." The next day Lisa was loudly excluding a tearful Ellen. To end this, I began to call Lisa's name. I hadn't made more than the initial Lee- sound when she turned on a dime, as if expecting this. In a singsong voice, eyeing me, she chirped, "You can play with me later, Ellen!"

At the moment, I was surprised at how quickly the adult modeling from our puppet role-play had influenced her. On reflection, I wondered if the interaction had been her bid for adult attention rather than a measure of our modeling success.

Suggesting other playmates

By February 20, we'd seen the girls occasionally try playing with girls outside of the triad. A few days later, I noted first Gretchen, then Lisa, become engaged with Natasha. After spring break we teachers started a new strategy. One day when the other two noisily excluded Gretchen, I waited a bit, and then murmured to her that Charlene might like to play. They clicked! I was surprised, since the trio had seemed so ingrown and the newer playmates were developmentally younger. I noticed, however, that the alternate playmates got abandoned in a flash whenever a triad member became available for play. These ventures into wider play choices prompted us to urge the girls' parents to set up playdates with various children outside the triad.

Broadening choices with "friendly" speech

Despite the play with new friends, the three girls kept up their taunting language toward each other. So in mid-March, we teachers invented a game called "Friendly Words" to foster kindness in social speech (Doescher & Sugarawa 1992). Since tone conveys meaning, the teachers took turns uttering common phrases in a variety of tones, then asking, "Are those words 'friendly' or 'unfriendly'?" We varied the order of the choices to avoid cuing the children, and we implied no right or wrong answers. We didn't say "nice"/"not nice" because these loaded phrases are commonly used by adults to evaluate children themselves. We might, for example, say "I don't want to play right now. Maybe later," in a pleasant tone. Some children called that "unfriendly," others "friendly." Some could even explain why they "voted" as they did, revealing their skills in perception, causation, and language. In following days, we also asked children at random moments to rate classroom exchanges that we overheard as "friendly" or "unfriendly." Soon I heard more new snippets of conversation.

From Field Notes, March 30:

Lisa urged, "C'mon, Gretchen, give me a hug," and turned to the teacher: "Hey, Martha, I'm friendly at her!" Later that day, I remarked to Lisa how considerate she had been earlier. She replied happily, "Yes, I'm a friendly girl!"

From Field Notes, April 2:

When Lisa muttered, "Hey, Ellen, let's not play with Gretchen, OK?," I cut in, "Hey, is that unfriendly or friendly?"

Ellen said, "Unfriendly."

"Friendly," Lisa replied impishly, grinning.

Lisa's answer itself might have been in part a performance, another form of the rule-breaking peer culture that expresses children's independence of adult expectations.

Here's an example of how the three girls began to develop more nuanced social skills.

From Field Notes, April 9:

Ellen: ( Arriving at school) Hey Lisa, do you want to go play?

Lisa: ( Coloring with Charlene) After I play with Charlene, I'll play with you, Ellen.

Lisa: ( A minute later) Hey Ellen . . .

Ellen: ( Archly, annoyed) I'm going to play with you later.

Lisa: Do you have to, Ellen?

Ellen: You hurt my feelings.

Lisa: ( Two minutes later, Lisa yells across the room from the dramatic play center.) Hey Ellen, you want to take your rain boots off? Get dressed up? ( After a pause, Ellen agrees.)

In this interaction, the three girls diversified their choices of social discourse. Their exchanges back in January had often seemed angrier, reactive-revealing little ability to wait for the favored playmate or to refocus their attention when disappointed. Earlier in the year, Lisa would never have ignored Ellen to keep playing with Charlene, and Lisa and Ellen wouldn't have discussed their divergent plans so calmly. In this exchange Ellen may have felt angry with Lisa ("I'm going to play with you later"), but her answer to Lisa's regretful protest ("Do you have to, Ellen?") sounded poignant, not angry: "You hurt my feelings." Lisa's response feels like a gentle attempt to reconcile with Ellen. The growing frequency of their consideration and negotiation were not just due to our coaching, of course, but were based also in new choices they were making about relating.

My notes show that talk between the three girls always accompanied (or sharpened) their conflicts, unlike with younger toddlers who clash using fewer words. Their language of inclusion and exclusion was so ritualized that I learned to abbreviate their phrases as letter strings (for example, YCBMYF was "You can't be my friend"). Over time they began to echo the teachers' models of social language ("I'll play with you later" and "You hurt my feelings") and to develop their own versions ("Will you play with me when we go outside?"). Also, they learned to connect more successfully by using language to fit into the existing dynamics of the play or to suggest a new game ("Want to take your boots off? Get dressed up?").

My field notes showed that by mid-April, intense conflicts decreased in frequency as the girls chose gentler interactions. The girls sometimes played with "outsiders," used more friendly tones, and joined in play as a trio for brief periods. Also, I saw times when the "out" girl approached the dyad and the other two would gently redirect her to other play, instead of just taunting or baldly rejecting her.

Another possible finding for the changed behavior is that each of the three grew to care more deeply for the other two. Data from late in the study showed the girls striving at times to meet each other's needs and to avoid mutual harm. On April 7, Gretchen went to sit with Ellen, Lisa, and teacher Martha at the picnic table but began crying that they hadn't left room. Ellen swiftly scooted over to allow Gretchen to sit beside her. Their mutual caring may have come to seem as valuable to each one as the temporary pleasure of having the dyad partner all to herself.

Conclusions and implications

Through my study, I came to understand how my preconceptions about children's conflicts had diminished my teaching success; formerly, I wasn't able to see that my assumptions often obstructed my insight into the girls' actions and motivations.

Each aspect of the girls' increasingly sophisticated social behavior relied on the development of cognitive and affective abilities. The ability to recognize and react to others' feelings rested on growing awareness that others have similar emotions that can be influenced. This growth allowed them to be more compassionate. The awareness of others as distinct from oneself, each with a subjective mental state, made persuasion and negotiation more practicable. Greater language skills enabled them to influence others and let their play become more complex. Maturing abilities in self-monitoring and self-regulation allowed them to better control their impulsive, hurtful behavior and to adjust it when they found changed circumstances. It's likely that their conflicted sparring helped them develop these capabilities.

Although less frequent and intense as the spring wore on, the trio's emotional struggles with each other persisted. Children act to achieve goals, even if not consciously. The three of them achieved something by enacting these painful conflicts. Since children learn about themselves by encountering others, the skirmishes likely served to build crucial interpersonal knowledge-revealing how each girl felt, paired off, recombined, and made up. Conflicts are also chances to assert individuality, measure the strength of individual wishes, and compare divergent interests. The girls' dramas of exclusion, abandonment, and ecstatic re-inclusion may have served as a kind of risky ritual that served to define their social network, control its territory, and test its durability.

There are three ways this study contributes to the broader field of early childhood. First, it illustrates how early childhood teacher research can illuminate our work with children (Meier & Henderson 2007). What began as a practical matter of dealing with intense conflict evolved into a purposeful, detailed study of the children's behavior, practitioner methods, and the influence of conflict on the classroom. My "insider" status as their teacher enabled me to closely observe the girls' behavior and the effects of our interventions on a day-to-day basis, something that an outside researcher could not do. The teacher research tools of systematic observation, thoughtful description derived from patterns of behavior, practitioner reflection, and cross-validation with colleagues enabled me to construct a deeper understanding of child behavior to inform my teaching and to offer to other teachers in similar situations.

Second, close examination of the girls' interpersonal dynamics throughout the study also challenged my assumptions by helping reveal children's surprising early competence in social interactions. It highlighted the intricacy of their thinking and planning about friendship, play, and belonging. It shed light on the purposes and social operations of networking and peer cultures among young children. These were revealed as fields of action for enhancing self-knowledge by experiencing the lives of other children; for building social skills; for establishing independence and autonomy from adults; and for extending learning through peer collaboration, as Vygotsky described the process. This all created changes in my teaching, and therefore in the girls' interactions.

Third, by tracing how we helped the girls outline the social choreography of their small community and enhance their relational skills, this teacher research suggests strategies that other practitioners can try-and pitfalls to avoid-as they encourage children to manage conflict and choose from a broader range of prosocial approaches to classmates.

This study had the main effect of changing my thinking about peer interactions of all kinds, which improved both my thinking and my practice. My early response to the triad's conflict focused on prevention; it was formulaic rather than thoughtful. With good intent, I sought to ease conflict by pressing for my adult notion of prosocial play-"enforced togetherness." Like many teachers, I had assumed that conflict arises mainly from deficit: immaturity, or worse, antisocial impulses. Admonishing the girls to meet adult standards of behavior didn't work. However, when I studied the intricate and intentional ways they interacted, I learned to see their actions as experimental efforts to carry out social and emotional goals.

We teachers began to provide more positive choices of prosocial action. We modeled examples of more engaging language. Via discussions about other children's experiences and mental states, we equipped children to better perceive and identify each other's feelings. Throughout, we respected children as architects of their own relationships: "Allowing children more space to develop their own authentic ways to interact can be more effective in strengthening collaborative play and building their social competence with peers" (Neimark 2012, 64). When we reinforced and supported the capabilities underlying prosocial relations, the girls could better choose to adjust their own behavior to the benefit of all three.

We must find ways to teach within and from conflict instead of suppressing it.

Play-based programs with a social development emphasis could benefit from trying similar strategies, as could any other kind of early childhood program. Other early childhood practitioners may experience conflict and injury far more challenging than our conflicted play triangle. Conflict is part of life. We must find ways to teach within and from conflict instead of just suppressing it. We should capitalize on children's innate empathy and sensitivity, instead of acceding to the basically antisocial notion that humans are controlled by self-centered impulses. If we give children opportunities to build their strengths, we can reinforce their ability to get along with others throughout their schooling and lives and make a contribution to a more just and humane society in the process.

This article was originally published by NAEYC in Our Inquiry, Our Practice: Undertaking, Supporting, and Learning from Early Childhood Teacher Research(ers) (2012), edited by Gail Perry, Barbara Henderson, and Daniel R. Meier. In this collection, readers will find additional teacher research studies as well as articles on supporting early childhood teacher researchers in the classroom.

Afterword: Three's a Crowd, But Children Can Crowdsource Conflicts and Gain Social Learning

It's not uncommon for preschool teachers to react reflexively to children's interpersonal conflicts, seeing them as disruptions at best or misbehavior at worst, and then trying to head off or suppress them. That was my pattern as I began this research nine years ago. The frames of teacher research, my study, and the insights of constructivism together started me thinking about what peer conflicts represent and how we can seize on them as learning moments.

Since my study, more researchers have published about the functions of peer clashes. One group of researchers concluded that "interpersonal conflicts serve important purposes in that they facilitate child[ren] to become conscious of their own emotions (to regulate and control their emotions), to understand mental states of others, and to elaborate problem-solving strategies" (Jensen de Lopez et al. 2012, 28). Conflict patterns paradoxically reduce children's uncertainty about the behavior of others (Daniel et al. 2016) and help fine-tune friendships. As such, negative interactions are "important, if not necessary, contributors to cognitive, moral and social development" (Ashby & Neilsen-Hewett 2012, 146).

Also since my study, I have moved to a smaller school that has a better coverage ratio (offering more time to spend with each child) and that rejects defining any child by a "deficit model." The director, keenly attentive to supporting child interactions (as I'd thought I was!), mentored me on how to go still deeper with children after such clashes, helping them mine and assimilate the knowledge of self and others hidden within the encounter. All this has let me put my teacher research learning to greater use. I link it to the patient, child-centered, constructivist, and compassionate scaffolding that my director models.

When a conflict occurs, we must first prevent children from doing harm. Then, I'm finding that our best role is to help children glean the most learning possible from that conflict, while avoiding our own judgment or disapproval. We balance two goals: first, to guide the participants to reach a resolution (restoring classroom peace!) and second-just as important-to listen patiently to help children understand (and construct schema) about

Why they each behaved the way they did

How the other felt

What needs each sought to meet

How to navigate the landscapes of intention, emotion, and personality

What steps each might try next time (all in an age-appropriate way)

This kind of heightened self- and social-awareness in the early years is related to prosocial behavior later in life (Ashby & Neilsen-Hewett 2012)-which means that in preschool we can prepare children to become citizens more equipped to know themselves, to attend to the needs and feelings of others, and to resolve conflicts without violence.

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Two's Company, Three's a Crowd: Peer Interactions in a Preschool Social Triangle (Voices)

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As a veteran early childhood educator, I don't expect a conflict- free classroom. But these were not the typical toddler disputes.

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This webinar is sponsored by Fred Rogers Center .

In 1983, Fred Rogers delivered his ﬁrst keynote address for the National Association for the Education of Young Children, where he asked the audience, "Do you ever wonder if you have made a difference?" More than three decades later, that question continues to resonate among many early childhood educators.

This webinar is a reﬂection and discussion of what it means to make a difference in today's early care and education contexts. Presenters Dana Winters, Ph.D., from the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and Children's Media, and Junlei Li, Ph.D., from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, will discuss:

What does making a difference look like in simple, everyday teacher-child interactions?

What enhances or limits our ability to recognize the impact we make?

How do we help each other to appreciate and grow the kind of practices that make a positive impact on children and families?

The discussion is based and informed on their collaborative work on " Simple Interactions ", a practice-based, strength-focused, and community- driven approach to appreciate and strengthen the quality of human interactions across developmental contexts, particularly in early care and education.

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What Fred Rogers Would Say About "the Difference We Make"- How Simple, Everyday Interactions in Early Childhood Are Critical, by Dana Winters, Ph.D. and Junlei Li, Ph.D. - Early Childhood Webinars

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This webinar is sponsored by Fred Rogers Center . In 1983, Fred Rogers delivered his ﬁrst keynote address for the National Association for the Education of Young Children, where he asked the audience, "Do you ever wonder if you have made a difference?"

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Fostering Children's Thinking Skills Video (3 mins)

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Fostering Children's Thinking Skills Video (3 mins)

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Fostering Children's Thinking Skills | ECLKC

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Learn ways teachers can support children in using thinking skills to gain deeper understandings and acquire new knowledge.

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Namaste for Engaging Interactions (9 mins)

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Namaste for Engaging Interactions (9 mins)

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Child Care Videos | Child Care Technical Assistance Network

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In the following video clip, two teachers sit together, discuss and document their observations of infants and toddlers in their care. Below are some sample questions related to the video clip and the value of documenting observations of individual children. It may be helpful to watch the video m…

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Jamboard: Interactions & Obstacles from Webinar Participants 

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Jamboard: Interactions & Obstacles from Webinar Participants 