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Americans are now spending more time alone than ever. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality.

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Americans are now spending more time alone than ever. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality.

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The Ant-Social Century by Derek Thompson

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Rise of takeout/delivery culture: 74% of restaurant traffic is off-premises (up from 61% pre-COVID)

Less communal dining = more eating alone

Solo dining up 29% in 2 years (OpenTable data)

Example quote: “There’s an isolationist dynamic that’s taking place in the restaurant business” -- Steve Salis

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From 1900–1960: surging church, union, and civic memberships

Since 1970s: decline in community institutions (libraries, gyms, union halls)

Causes: automobiles, television, and individualism

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Smartphones dominate 30%+ of waking hours for teens

Decline in hanging out daily with friends (down 50% since early 1990s)

TikTok trend: joy when friends cancel plans which reflects comfort in solitude

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Adults spend +99 more minutes at home daily (2003 → 2022)

Homes built for screen time (TVs, streaming)

Hosting/attending social events declined 32% since 2000s

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New masculinity: self-optimization, isolation (cold plunges, fasting, meditation)

Viral “morning routine” videos: protagonists alone, no family/friends

Men’s “neededness” (community role) is vanishing, replaced by despair & opioids

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Stronger inner circle (family) and outer circle (tribes online)

Collapse of the middle ring (neighbors/community)

Leads to polarization, intolerance, and the rise of “all-tribe, no-village” politics

Connection to Trump’s appeal

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People predict solitude will make them happier but experiments show talking to strangers boosts mood

Acting extroverted = more positive emotions whereas introverted week = more negative

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AI companions (e.g., Character.ai) attracting tens of millions of users, avg. 93 mins/day

AI can provide constant validation, but undermines ability to deal with real human conflict

Tragically has already lead to the death of 16 year old, Adam Raine https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/26/technology/chatgpt-openai-suicide.html?smid=url-share

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The decline of social infrastructure (libraries, parks, gyms) worsens solitude. Introducing new social infrastructure can help mitigate the issue.

The Amish model: adopt technology selectively, aligned with values

Positive trends:

Independent bookstores up 50% since 2009

Board-game cafés doubling by 2030

Quote: “The way we spend our minutes is the way we spend our decades.”

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Convenience has built what Thompson calls an anti-social century. Suburbs, streaming, delivery, and remote life make social interaction optional, which leads to a “social recession”

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Convenience has built what Thompson calls an anti-social century. Suburbs, streaming, delivery, and remote life make social interaction optional, which leads to a “social recession”

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Data also shows loneliness rates are not rising in the same way. Gallup found loneliness actually declined slightly after the pandemic. So solitude may be up, but not always harmful.

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Data also shows loneliness rates are not rising in the same way. Gallup found loneliness actually declined slightly after the pandemic. So solitude may be up, but not always harmful.

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With 74% of meals now off-premises, eating has shifted from a communal act to a solo convenience

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With 74% of meals now off-premises, eating has shifted from a communal act to a solo convenience

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Dining alone doesn’t always mean disconnection. People may still connect digitally or simply enjoy independence as solo dining is often about “me time”

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Dining alone doesn’t always mean disconnection. People may still connect digitally or simply enjoy independence as solo dining is often about “me time”

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Supports Thompson’s idea that decline predates Gen Z and phones with the convenience and suburbanization hollowed out institutions

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Supports Thompson’s idea that decline predates Gen Z and phones with the convenience and suburbanization hollowed out institutions

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Newer communities (online networks, global fandoms) have replaced older forms. Just because institutions changed doesn’t mean people stopped connecting

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Newer communities (online networks, global fandoms) have replaced older forms. Just because institutions changed doesn’t mean people stopped connecting

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Teens spend 30% of waking hours on screens, and daily hangouts dropped 50% since the 1990s

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Teens spend 30% of waking hours on screens, and daily hangouts dropped 50% since the 1990s

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Not all phone use is anti-social with FaceTime, group chats, and shared memes being used to maintain relationships, even if not face-to-face

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Not all phone use is anti-social with FaceTime, group chats, and shared memes being used to maintain relationships, even if not face-to-face

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Adults spend 99 more minutes/day at home than in 2003, with events like hosting friends down 32%

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Adults spend 99 more minutes/day at home than in 2003, with events like hosting friends down 32%

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Homes have also become multi-functional hubs where work, fitness, and community events can still happen virtually from home

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Homes have also become multi-functional hubs where work, fitness, and community events can still happen virtually from home

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The “luxury monastic” lifestyle where cold plunges, fasting, and supplements removes people from family and civic ties

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The “luxury monastic” lifestyle where cold plunges, fasting, and supplements removes people from family and civic ties

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Personal discipline doesn’t always mean anti-social behavior. Self-improvement can build healthier individuals who later strengthen their communities

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Personal discipline doesn’t always mean anti-social behavior. Self-improvement can build healthier individuals who later strengthen their communities

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Without local ties, people see opponents only online, where disagreement becomes toxic. This feeds “all-tribe, no-village” politics

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Without local ties, people see opponents only online, where disagreement becomes toxic. This feeds “all-tribe, no-village” politics

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Polarization has multiple causes such as economic inequality, media fragmentation, and partisan strategy so it's not just solitude

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Polarization has multiple causes such as economic inequality, media fragmentation, and partisan strategy so it's not just solitude

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Research (Epley, Lyubomirsky) shows people feel better after social interaction, even with strangers

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Research (Epley, Lyubomirsky) shows people feel better after social interaction, even with strangers

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Some genuinely thrive in solitude (artists, introverts) where not all solitude is maladaptive, and labeling it a “delusion” may oversimplify

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Some genuinely thrive in solitude (artists, introverts) where not all solitude is maladaptive, and labeling it a “delusion” may oversimplify

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AI can give constant validation, but this undermines learning how to deal with conflict and disappointment

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AI can give constant validation, but this undermines learning how to deal with conflict and disappointment

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For some (grief, disability, isolation), AI companions may provide comfort and reduce loneliness, at least as a supplement

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For some (grief, disability, isolation), AI companions may provide comfort and reduce loneliness, at least as a supplement

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Independent bookstores (+50% since 2009) and board-game cafés show people will return to in-person rituals when given options

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Independent bookstores (+50% since 2009) and board-game cafés show people will return to in-person rituals when given options

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These fixes may only reach privileged groups. Without systemic changes (work schedules, inequality, affordable housing), many won’t have time or resources to join

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These fixes may only reach privileged groups. Without systemic changes (work schedules, inequality, affordable housing), many won’t have time or resources to join