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Actually listening to what the person is saying and not just 'What am I going to say next'.

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Eye contact, open body language

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Being distraction free so you are completely focused on the mentee.

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Asking open questions

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Being comfortable with silence, let them break it as silence is often the mentee thinking. it allows them to start to talk on a deeper level.

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Using their language ot reflect back to them what they have shared - not our spin on it.

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I was going through a challenging time in my household, and I was talking about it with one of my close friends. I felt listened to as she kept asking questions and challenged my thoughts. I felt heard in this interaction and it led to me seeing the situation in a different light.

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Hearing what they say without interrupting them.

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Not trying to fix them or the situation

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Recently I suppose during wheelchair basketball training, I was doing drills with another person and our communication styles were clashing, I wanted to approach a conversation about it. But they did not see where I was coming from. they weren't listening or trying to see where I was coming from, as they just kept saying things from their point of view.

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Understanding what is being shared

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Be present - without talking.

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Hear what is said without filling in blanks yourself/making assumptions.

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Meeting them where they're at. Seeing things from their perspective.

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When I was discharged from the hospital, it was an unsafe discharge. The hospital staff did not agree and did not listen to my concerns. I felt intimidated and threatened by their communication style.

I was seated, and 4 staff members stood in close proximity around me.

I was constantly interrupted.

My thoughts and feelings were judged, and I was told they were wrong.

I was not provided with a safe space to convey what I wanted to say, nor was I given time to communicate it.

I was told my fears were wrong and that I should be thinking differently.

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I asked a group of my peers not to ask me "How are you?" Instead, I asked them to ask about the wins I'd had. They did.

Every time I was asked this question it allowed me to celebrate my progress and view it positively, and focus on what the next goal was. Rather than sit in a story of self-loathing and despair.

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I spoke to a friend in the first few days after the injury. They left me space to do all the talking. They didn't judge. Offer advice or a fix. They simply asked how I felt about everything and let me talk. Once I did, they asked what I needed.

When I shared what I needed, they used this as a base for the next few conversations we had. Did I get what I needed? What did I need next?

Based on what I said I needed, this framed our conversations, and when I was on a mental downward spiral, they brought me back to the base we'd set.

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When I was at Stoke Mandeville, I had to explain some of my experiences. I was allowed to speak freely, and my feelings and opinions on what was right and wrong were acknowledged. Not judged, or confirmed positively or negatively.

I was reassured that I wasn't an anomaly in my experiences, which made me feel accepted rather than an outsider.

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Mentally empty, you approach the conversation without a predetermined plan for what is needed.

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make a clear space to hear what is being said and have no distractions. Be kind, accepting, acknowledge what they are saying, use open ended questions.

be empathetic

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Clarifying what has been said by repeating back what they have said so they know you are listening. Give them full undivided attention.

make sure i encourage them by mmm'ing and asking them to go on so they know you are hearing them.

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Not speaking

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Listening skills, to me, mean you are not just being heard, that you are being listened to and the person listening is open to what you are saying. 

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Listening skills, to me, mean you are not just being heard, that you are being listened to and the person listening is open to what you are saying. 

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Active listening, encouraging mentee to talk by asking open questions

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Letting the person talk, but not leaving huge silences. Asking the right open questions to encourage the other person to talk openly. 

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Letting the person talk, but not leaving huge silences. Asking the right open questions to encourage the other person to talk openly. 

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i felt listened to properly when medical people let me actually explain what was going on for me, and rather them just cutting me off they took the time to really understand and sit back and gave me time to speak. Bringing my emotions and feelings to the surface.

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I felt listened to by my sister after my last surgery. She let me talk, she asked the right questions and didn't offer solutions, but suggestions of how I could move forward. It felt great to talk to openly, to be heard and to feel like she had empathy to my situation.

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I felt listened to by my sister after my last surgery. She let me talk, she asked the right questions and didn't offer solutions, but suggestions of how I could move forward. It felt great to talk to openly, to be heard and to feel like she had empathy to my situation.

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when i was in hospital following the surgery which caused the spinal cord injury. I wasn't heard i wasn't listened too, I was dismissed and told and made to feel like i was mental and making everything up. it was one of the most frustrating irritating uncomfortable times of my life feeling lost, helpless and alone not knowing who to turn too.

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Numerous times with a specific consultant, when I asked why certain things were happening and what could I do to improve my situation I was just told I had to accept my condition and that I would never be the same person I was before. He never answered my questions constructively which left me feeling very frustrated, I knew I wouldn't be the same, that wasn't what I was asking!

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I wasn't listened to in my last job. I was struggling physically with the work and my manager had no compassion for my situation. She only seemed to care about the job and would not listen to my suggestions on alternative ways to make the role more accessible for me. It was distressing to feel unheard. I felt i wasn't part of the team and excluded. 

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I wasn't listened to in my last job. I was struggling physically with the work and my manager had no compassion for my situation. She only seemed to care about the job and would not listen to my suggestions on alternative ways to make the role more accessible for me. It was distressing to feel unheard. I felt i wasn't part of the team and excluded. 

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The ability to focus on the speaker, understand their message before responding verbally or non verbally

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listening skills mean active listening, hearing, interrupting, hearing, feeding back to fully understand to what is being told. if you are face to face via screen then 100% visual contact and via phone making sure that there is nothing around to distract your attention away.

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I felt listened to when i found like minded people who understood without me saying to much i felt validated and like i wasn't alone anymore.

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acknowledging feelings, nodding, asking clarifying questions

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unfortunately, but not due to them trying to listen is by my family, as much as they try to listen, to me it feels like I'm a burden even though they tell me I'm not.

How can they really understand and listen properly when they do not know what it feels like, they want to fix everything when all i want is them hear and understand and empathise but LISTEN without judgement or comment.

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There was once I needed to go out with friends but I did not show interest because I felt venue would not be wheelchair accessible. I communicated with them sharing my worry but to my surprise, they actually considered me by getting a wheelchair accessible venue which costed more.

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just listen to the mentee and the concerns the person might have. dont try to control the situation and fix what theyre not ready to fix yet.

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I felt a sense of belonging, felt loved and included. Communicating my worry led to this and it shows they were understanding

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being present and not interupting or judging.

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i felt listened to the most when i was finally dignosed and sent to walton hospital for emergency surgery, they explained eveything and talked me threw it all and listened to my fears.

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listening to what a person has to say and giving time to do so

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Ensuring the environment is suitable to listen - absence of distractions

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Asking open questions

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In my previous workplace, we were to have a training outside of office and I reminded the facilitators of the choice of wheelchair and toilet accessible venue. On getting there , I was disappointed because it was on the 4th floor and there was no elevator. They apologised that it was an oversight. This left me frustrated especially because it happens often.Eventually, I did not attend the training but was only provided the training pack. It shows lack of an inclusive behaviour and mindset.

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Be comfortable with silence, it can give the other person time to think, expand, reflect

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Ask open ended questions, encourage the person to expand - like tell me, explain to me, describe to me

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before first diagnosis for me, over the space of two weeks no one listened to me untill it was to late , 2 a&e visits, sent away both times with paracetomol, 3 gp visits and 1 urgent care visit, finally on the 3rd a and e visit they done mri scan and diagnosed cauda equina syndrome, lost full use in left leg, lost full controll of bladder and bowels and was blue lighted to walton for emerency surgery that same night. left with permanant damge due to delayed teratment.

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I had a great pain consultant who really listened to me when I was asking why I felt certain things and what could I do to aid my own improvement. He really explained what was going on in a way I could understand and while he didn't promise the impossible, he helped me understand and offered proactive advise. He was positive without being unrealistic or patronising. It gave me hope, determination and achievable goals.

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Whilst an in-patient at hospital, I am transgender and dysphoric, all my legal documents and medical records reflect male gender, was put on an all female ward and female carer came to attempt a bed bath despite all of this having been discussed in pre-op, clinic etc. Consultant came and immediately had me moved, ensured my wheelchair was right next to me and allowed me to do self care but highlighted male to assist if i needed it

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listening with out distraction fully, empatheticly

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listening with out distraction fully, empatheticly

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Be your self , let them do the talking ,don't fill silances , show intrest in what they say

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Be your self , let them do the talking ,don't fill silances , show intrest in what they say

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Within my musical theatre group, when i first joined several years ago i was not a full time wheelchair user, after serious illness and further injury last year when i returned having to use a wheelchair full time, a couple attempted to get my chair out of the car, push me etc which i had to point out i can do well alone as i spend most of my time alone, the group welcomed me back and we all sat down to discuss how they could best suoport me and if there was anything they could do to help or make it easier for me to continue performing.

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Reflect, clarify with person you are talking with

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Don't make assumptions or finish sentences for the person

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Reaffirm

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Reaffirm, clarfiy, summerise

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My partner Nicky is a good listener , naturally does the things covered , in a quate way

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My partner Nicky is a good listener , naturally does the things covered , in a quate way

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mostly doctors and consaltance dismissing any thought i had on my body 

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mostly doctors and consaltance dismissing any thought i had on my body 