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Takeaway: "2nd to Last Word", this is what I remember from Brian's talk at Fonde. Realize you have the power, and that you do not have to respond to every comment helps maintain balance.

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One huge takeaway from this podcast is to use questions instead of statements to avoid a power struggle. Telling a student "sit down" could easily turn into a power struggle, however if you asked the student "Why do you think it's okay to stand instead of sit" it is less likely to happen. Another important piece of advice is to not dwell on the small things. If a student throws down a pencil for example, bend down and pick it up for them. Some people might say that you "let the student win" but at the end of the day you are the person that won because that student is sitting down and doing their work. It is so important to build relationships with our students. If we don't have a relationship with them, we will not get anywhere with them. Nothing else is more important! We need to take an interest in our students for who they are and what they enjoy, even if it isn't something we wouldn't usually want to talk about (Minecraft, for example).

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Reacting to every little distraction that takes place in a classroom loses a great amount of valuable teaching time. Disruptive students will look for every opportunity to create chaos; however, embarrassing a student in public sends a message that you don’t care about their feelings, and could possibly escalate the situation.  It can be difficult not to have “the last word;” however, it only prolongs the argument and our value diminishes. As the adult in the classroom, we must understand where the student is coming from and not add more fuel to the fire by adding a “last word.” When a disagreement or confrontation arises, it is important that we show the student how to handle the situation in a dignified manner and maintain the integrity of our classroom. I really like how we use “I/We” statements at Fonde rather than using “you’’ statements and putting someone on the defensive; for example, “At Fonde, we walk in the hallway, rather than “You are not supposed to be running in the halls, you know better than that!! Why are you running?”

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My Huge takeaway from this podcast is to avoid power struggles and remove yourself from certain situations.

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Well, to start, any time you have a power struggle with a child you are guaranteed to lose.  You have to let the child think about their actions and not give in to bad behaviors.  In this podcast, it was reiterated to never give into a power struggle.  While still remaining positive and loving, we also have to be stern and firm.  Every child is different and we have to know which battles to fight.
Muncaster

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My takeaway from this podcast would be to avoid power struggles and to choose your battles wisely.  It is always best to redirect instead of giving into an argument and dropping to that level.  If a child is acting out to get attention, there are ways to change their behavior, such as offering a few options to them to shift their behavior.  Then give attention and praise for positive behaviors.
Cook

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My HUGE take away from this episode is that a power struggle can only happen if you argue with a student. Use other methods to diffuse the situation or respond by changing statements to questions and take yourself out of the struggle.

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Wilson

My huge take away is avoiding a power struggle.  Do not become part of a power struggle; take yourself out of the situation. I agree with him allowing questions to defuse a situation instead of statements.  Teach students how to control anger to get them out of situations. Giving your students one on one time is always positive because you are giving them special attention.  If you are going to have expectations let the students know what they are and make them reachable.

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Diffusing a power struggle depends greatly on the language we use and they way we talk to students. One new strategy I plan on focusing on is remembering to use questions instead of commands. I also think it's important to give students choice during a struggle.

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The switch from using the word rule to expectation and making those expectations measurable. One area of growth I plan on focusing on is evaluating consequences more regularly. If something I'm using for a consequence isn't giving me the desired outcome then I need to come up with something different.

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Episode 4
My huge takeaway here was to  pick your battles, sometimes the child is looking for the attention. Being the adult in the situation, instead of losing your temper or being in a power struggle with a child, you should do some of the following:
Build a relationship
Make it a teachable moment
Approach the problem at a different time
Find out the core of the problem.
Get personal and show you care.
We don't know Right or Wrong, until we are taught what's Right or Wrong. Teachable moments are memorable moments.

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My biggest takeaway here was not to get in a power struggle with a kid. If you are arguing with a kid- you have already given them the power.

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My biggest take away from this episode is that you should diffuse an argument. Instead of making statements to a problem student; ask them questions. By asking questions you inadvertently take the argument away from someone. This holds true with anyone and is honestly a good rule to live by in every day practice. If this is used you will not be faced in a power struggle.

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My huge take away is escaping a power struggle.  Defusing the situation by asking questions rather than giving statements. Taking yourself out of the out of the situation will help in defusing the situation. Students should be taught, how to control their actions and anger to help them in difficult situations. Also, give students hope! In giving your students expectation, make sure the outcome is reachable to achieve.

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Episode 4, June 17
My huge takeaway from this episode is that the single most important thing we can do as educators is give kids hope. Also, power struggles only happen when multiple people engage. Do not focus on changing the student, focus on changing yourself. For example, ask questions instead of saying statements, get really good at agreeing with students, ask what you can do differently, and apologize.

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My big take away from the podcast was that is that I need to check myself and listen to my  students.  They should feel comfortable enough to talk to me.

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My big take away from this podcast is that teachers should never get into power struggles with students! Teachers should diffuse the situation using questions, taking the argument away from the student. Teachers can "shock" the student by saying, "I'm sorry." Tell the student you are sorry that a student in your school became so upset. Teachers need to shift/change their reactions to students in order to meet the students' needs. Instead of trying to change the students' behaviors, we need to change teachers' behaviors. And lastly, teachers need to give students hope, every day. It needs to be the foundation of every day. Sometimes, teachers just need to sit and listen to students.

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My big takeaway from this podcast is that teachers should have/post expectations for their students, not rules. Rules tell students what NOT to do, but expectations tell them what they are supposed to do. Expectations have to be measurable and have value. Students need to know the value of the expectation, how it is going to help them later in life. For example, expecting students to bring required materials such as pencils and paper to class in elementary school prepares them for when it really counts later in life.  One example Brian Mendler gave was students should keep their hands and feet to themselves.  The value he explained to his students for this expectation is that "playing around touching each other" always turns into something bigger....usually a fight. In my opinion, this is a big issue at Fonde. I feel that our students are always ready to fight over something. The smallest touch from another student can turn into a huge brawl, even when the touch is accidental.

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One of the most important things teachers can do for kids is to teach them to look out for each other.  We have to be willing to talk about and demonstrate character traits.  Kids who are kind and caring, respectful, and responsible are more likely to complete work/participate in class.
Listening to kids with no expectations is key.  We need to help kids improve from where they are - not from where we think they should be.  Praise kids for where they are and give them one way to improve.
Finally, check yourself.  Make sure we are taking responsibility for the things we can improve.
Wagner

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My huge take away was to leave no doubt in your mind that your students have learned to be KIND. Teach them to be concerned for one another. Always give HOPE. Listen to kids. Diffuse power struggles-Use questions rather than statements. Questions take arguments away. Calm the student down. Use diffusing words-I'm sorry, make him/her apart of the team, coach him/her, and finally practice desired good behaviors.

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My huge takeaway is to continue teaching my students that we all love one another and we are one big family. It is important to take time to listen to the students. I often hear my students say they are "bad." I quickly correct them by reminding them they were not born bad but perhaps their behavior is bad and how can we fix it.

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My Huge Takeaway
Continue to teach students to care for one another and be nice to one another and to cheer one another on. Focus on teaching HOPE, Hearing Other People's Experiences. Just listen!!! Expectations are everything. Having 0 expectations will allow us to be grateful for what we have. Thank students for all they are currently accomplishing (ie.. for just making it to school and getting your little brother and sister to school) then slowly add one expectation at a time so that it is more achievable. Diffuse situations by agreeing with the student, finding humor in the situation, disengage, instead of participating in a power struggle. In order to diffuse the situation, calm the student down, become the student's teammate and then coach, identify the problem (ie. anger) and help them find ways to deal with the anger.

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My huge take away:
Use different vocabulary.
Use "expectation" NOT "rule".
Use value.  The value is the character trait.  It is teacher made and non-negotiable.  The "expectation" is measurable and specifies how the expectation is achieved.  Also, make sure that the consequences are effective.  Determine the leader of the undesirable behavior and get them on your side.  Usually, the others will then fall in line.
Chism

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The foundation of each day should be HOPE for your students.  Show them a path to success.  Don't try to just make them successful.
Also, to diffuse a power struggle, use questions not statements.  Agree with them. Remember that the power struggle can only happen if TWO people engage.
Chism

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I loved the story that Brian told about the students encouraging his son at a birthday party.  He made a point to than his son's teacher.  He told her that it was more important to teach your students to be nice to each other than anything else.   I love when I see my students encouraging each other.  This podcast has shown me that when I see this happening to make it a big teaching moment.          I also liked what he told his daughter when she always expected chocolate when he came home from a trip.  He told her that she would not have been disappointed when he didn't get to bring her some if she wasn't' expecting it.  So if we don't set such high expectations for our students when they exceed them we will be able to show them that they really accomplished something great.   Vermillion

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I like the idea of not having expectations for the kids. Instead, be grateful for what they are giving you. Sometimes I get frustrated because I know some children aren't giving me their best effort. I have high expectations. Brian mentions how expectations need to be realistic. Some kids may not be thinking about the task in front of them but instead about their mom in the hospital or if they will have dinner that night.

I do think some kiddos can be flat out lazy learners (lol) but my eyes are definitely more open to challenges they may be facing outside of school. I need to motivate them to do better instead of shaming them for possibly doing their best in that moment.

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My huge takeaway is to diffuse the power struggle by looking at myself.
Markham