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Fay, J., & Funk, D. (1995). Teaching with love & logic: Taking control of the classroom. Golden, CO: Love and Logic Press. This is a book written by Jim Fay and David funk which gives details about how to use love and logic in the classroom.

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Video of Love and Logic
This is a brief overview of love and logic.

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Brief Overview of Love and Logic for teachers-- Created using PowToon -- Free sign up at http://www.powtoon.com/youtube/ -- Create animated videos and animated presentations for free. PowToon is a free tool that allows you to develop cool animated clips and animated presentations for your website, office meeting, sales pitch, nonprofit fundraiser, product launch, video resume, or anything else you could use an animated explainer video.

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Love and Logic by Dr. Charles Fay
Charles Fay briefly introduces some aspects of the Love and Logic theory.  He also gives some examples of how teachers can use it in the classroom.

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Dr. Charles Fay discusses Love and Logic techniques for teachers

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We'll be coming to a city near you. Here are the upcoming locations for our 2016-2017 events: Madison, WI; Overland Park, KS; Arvada, CO; Fullerton, CA; Mesa, AZ; Omaha, NE; Seattle, WA; Oklahoma City, OK; Roseville, CA; Philadelphia, PA; Houston, TX; Lenexa, KS; Denver, CO; Palatine, IL; Vail, CO.

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This is a comment response section to a persons question about Love and Logic. Lots of parent reviews giving their partially informed opinions n Love and Logic.

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This blog post is written by development psychologist Jean Mercer and provides evidence indicating weaknesses in the Love and Logic theory.

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A reader suggested that having written a post about the plausibility of alternative psychotherapies, I might examine the available facts about the program Love and Logic ®. The website www.loveandlogic.com is informative when looked at carefully, although other sources add much to an understanding of this program.

A quick look at materials describing Love and Logic gives the impression that the program is intended to improve parenting practices and therefore to lead to better developmental and educational outcomes for children. However, this does not seem to be exactly the case, according to the website. This describes Love and Logic as "a philosophy of raising and teaching children which allows adults to be happier, empowered, and more skilled in the interactions with children. Love allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices. Love and Logic is a way of working with children that puts parents and teachers back in control, teaches children to be responsible, and prepares young people to live in the real world, with its many choices and consequences."

I see in this paragraph two types of outcomes predicted for Love and Logic users. The first is that parents and teachers are happier and have more success in controlling children. The second is that children become responsible (without further definition of how this responsibility is displayed behaviorally) and will eventually be prepared to live in the "real world" (where have they been living up to that point, I wonder, and how does their preparation play out behaviorally now or later?). The statements about Love and about Logic are difficult to relate to specific outcomes. I am not sure how children can be prevented from growing (i.e., learning) from their mistakes, nor whether an absence of love would be considered a cause of such a notional outcome. Neither do I see how Logic lets children live with consequences or whether illogic would prevent them from doing so. Semantically, these two statements would seem to have the same meaning, or lack thereof, if we were to reverse the tasks of Love and of Logic. But let's drop these side issues and focus on the clearly predicted outcomes: happier parents and teachers who successfully make children do what the adults want. A later paragraph on the website says that Love and Logic "products help parents and teachers enjoy working with children", and this predicted effect on adults is described more clearly than any statements about the effects on children.

I'm trying to figure out the outcome wanted by users of Love and Logic , because I see that various other websites (e.g., www.colorado.edu/content/fsap-workshops-parenting-love-and-logic(R)-course-starts-july-18 ) refer to this approach as "research based". (I haven't found this on www.loveandlogic.com yet.) Research, as the term is usually used, would involve an assessment of whether the predicted outcomes resulted from use of Love and Logic. However, the expression "research based" is a vague one without a common or clear definition, and it may not be intended to communicate the same evaluation of effectiveness as "evidence-based" does. I note that the California Clearinghouse for Evidence Based Programs ( www.cebc4cw.org/program/love-and-logic/detailed) does not give a ranking for scientific evidence to Love and Logic because of the absence of research information. A critique of parent education programs done by Christina Collins ( www.joe.org/joe/2012august/a8.php) ranked Love and Logic as an "additional" program, rather than as "top" or "promising". Love and Logic is described as "innovative" but without an evidentiary foundation in a document developed by Prevent Child Abuse Iowa in 2011; the Iowa document points out that Love and Logic is not listed in SAMHSA's National Registry of Evidence-Based Practices and Programs (NREPP).

At www.loveandlogic.com/t-research.aspx, a graph representing how parenting stress went down after parents attended a Love and Logic program also shows a reduction in child misbehavior, suggesting that this outcome is also a goal of Love and Logic and may be an operational definition of "responsibility" and "preparation for the real world". The same page provides a link to an unpublished article by Charles Fay, a member of the Love and Logic group along with his father Jim Fay and the holding therapy proponent Foster Cline. Fay's 2012 paper is entitled "Effects of the Becoming a Love and Logic Parent training program on parents' perceptions of their children's behavior and their own parental stress". As the title suggests, Fay asked for responses from parents who were about to begin the training program and compared those to post-training responses for 2431 of them. There was no comparison group receiving treatment as usual or no treatment, and Fay did not report how many parents failed to complete the program, were lost to follow-up, or showed negative changes following the program. As Fay himself seemed to be aware in the discussion of this study, this evidence is at a very weak level, and there are obvious alternative explanations for the results.

In addition to these research weaknesses, an examination of the evidentiary foundation for Love and Logic requires attention to the fact that Love and Logic® is a highly commercialized, for-profit program, with the ® indicating a registered name. This situation makes it very difficult to have the valuable replication of a study by an independent researcher. That Fay, Fay, and Cline have not been eager to have independent examination of relevant evidence is shown by a copyright infringement suit ( www.plainsite.org/dockets/ic5dk1os/colorado-district-court/love-and-logic-institute-inc-et-al-v-slattengren-et-al).

Is Love and Logic a plausible program? Is it congruent with established information about child development and learning? Its basic ideas about the role of reward in learning have long been supported by clear evidence, although I am not sure why a citation of the work of Edward Thorndike in the 1920s is needed, and I am sure that a citation of John B. Watson is not relevant. There are also elements of William Glasser's "reality therapy" as used in some schools in the '60s and '70s, and a plausible approach on the face of it but without much research support. Certainly the advice given to parents and teachers about relaxation and avoidance of anger and punishment is congruent with most established thinking about early relationships, although the suggestion that one simply repeat over and over "I love you too much to argue with you" seems questionable in terms of the transactional view of development. Love and Logic is said to be easy to learn and to have "immediate results"; these statements appear to be at odds with the experiences of most evidence-based parenting programs that are successful in bringing about changes in parent-child interactions (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy, for instance). It is notable, of course, that specific methods of Love and Logic are available only upon purchase of proprietary books and CDs, so a complete analysis of plausibility is difficult.

It is not usually desirable to pursue an examination of this kind ad hominem, because even the most unpleasant characteristics of individuals (if they existed) would not be relevant to the plausibility or effectiveness of a treatment they advocated. However, as Love and Logic provides little to discuss ad rem, it seems appropriate to look at aspects of the website and of its founders. Once again, a high degree of commercialism is shown by the website. Testimonials and anecdotes abound, and there is no indication that Love and Logic may be inappropriate or even potentially harmful in some cases. "Parenting products" are for sale, and one may join an "Insider's Club" (the position of the apostrophe suggests that there is only one insider).

Much of the Love and Logic website is devoted to selling training and to attracting trainers, who when they have completed their studies, can take advantage of a "facilitator map" and national referral list. Purchasing a book "gives you the ability to offer an unlimited number of parenting classes... No additional training is required." This statement seems to confirm what I was told several years ago by a Love and Logic trainer-- that there was no quality control after a course was taken.

What about the three founders of Love and Logic? Little is available about Jim Fay, except from his short bio on the website. He appears to have been a high school teacher. Charles Fay has a Ph.D. in psychology (possibly with a specialty in school psychology, although it is hard to tell). His dissertation had the title "Factors affecting teachers' impressions and judgments of students: Individual differences, social-contextual factors, and underlying cognitive processes" (University of South Carolina, 1997). This title does not suggest any formal study of developmental principles or of parenting processes, although Fay may certainly have studied these topics post-doctorate.

A source of concern about Love and Logic comes from the involvement of Foster Cline. Cline's associations with holding therapy, a physically-intrusive, potentially harmful treatment without an acceptable evidence basis, are undeniable. Cline surrendered his Colorado medical license following a 1995 letter of admonition in connection with the accidental or suicidal death of a child. His books in the early 1990s stressed his belief that "all bonding is trauma bonding", suggesting that the relationship between a parent and an infant is parallel to the relationship between a kidnapper and his victim who develops Stockholm syndrome. His long-term mentoring relationship with Connell Watkins, one of the therapists under whose treatment Candace Newmaker died, is well-known, as are his involvements with the defense of parents who killed their children.

Cline's books have supported the idea that powerful adult authority is essential for the rearing of psychologically-healthy children. Like his colleague and mentor, Robert Zaslow, Cline has stressed the ideas that obedience is evidence of attachment and that adult attachment figures must be seen as powerful by children. Although Cline's version of holding therapy had strong physical components, there seems to be no reason to think that physical coercion is a part of Love and Logic, which concentrates instead on psychological control. Whether children who "fail" in Love and Logic are then recommended for holding therapy is an unanswered question, but this suggestion was made to me by an individual who had received Love and Logic training.

In the past, Cline was willing to state that holding therapy was not abusive. He was one of several holding therapy-oriented expert witnesses in an investigation of an Arizona man who taught a mother to use unsupervised holding with her daughter ( www.azbbhe.us/pdfs/BoardOrder/1994-0002.pdf). Cline's position has been countered by a multitude of arguments, including the report of a task force of the American Professional Society on Abuse of Children and of Division 37 of the American Psychological Association. Given this history, it is perhaps not surprising that he presses Love and Logic without any evidence that it is an effective treatment, either for parent education or for working with mild childhood behavior problems.

If there are all these problems related to the effectiveness of Love and Logic, why do school systems purchase its training for their teachers? There are some simple answers, I think. One is that K-12 educators are rarely skilled at assessing the evidence for a treatment. Instead, as a group, they tend to be "faddy" and to clutch at attractive proposals, especially if they do not involve much cognitive effort. (Does anyone remember "Paddlin' Madeline home" T-shirts for teachers?) In addition, Love and Logic is beautifully marketed, with repeated claims of "easy to learn" and "instant results". The Love and Logic website even suggests ways to create enthusiasm for its trainings-- administrators are not to offer training to all teachers, but to make the opportunity a reward for some.

Conclusion: Love and Logic is a business like any other. Caveat emptor.

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A reader suggested that having written a post about the plausibility of alternative psychotherapies, I might examine the available facts about the program Love and Logic ®. The website www.loveandlogic.com is informative when looked at carefully, although other sources add much to an understanding of this program.

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This is a link to our google slides presentation that was created for ED 360 class.

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This is a article full of ideas for ways to engage your audience in a presentation.

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This is a power point created by Jeff Norton which we referenced in the creation of our presentation.

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or even your parents, dealt with disrespect, whining, or other 'bad behavior. ... Teaches adults how to develop responsible children through, empathy, decision ... - A free PowerPoint PPT presentation (displayed as a Flash slide show) on PowerShow.com - id: 151c16-ZTI4O

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This resource lists seven key practices of Love and Logic that can easily be incorporated into your own classroom.

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We all have those students who love to argue, push our buttons or just be temperamental in general. Without the right management tools, it is difficult not to take these students' actions personally. My first year of teaching, I sought out any and all courses in classroom management. At the time, I wasn't confident in my teaching and management philosophy. I took a course on " Teaching With Love and Logic: Taking Control of the Classroom" by Jim Fay and David Funk. You can read about how it changed my teaching, along with other great resources, here.

The philosophy of Love and Logic is to regain control, reduce your stress level, equalize emotions and build more harmonious relationships. The keys to implementation are empathy and communicating that you care for and value the other person. I subscribe to their emails, and the website contains a treasure trove of helpful resources. Because I only see my students once a week, it seems silly to waste time arguing or engaging in negative conflict.

Below are 7 of my favorite Love and Logic strategies for the art room.

1. Go brain dead and become a broken record.
These one-liners have neutralized many tantrums and arguments over the past two years. The key is to repeat the phrase with as little emotion as possible. If a student is trying to engage you in conflict, you can try the following:

"I respect you too much to argue."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did I say?" (In response to a direction).

"Thanks for sharing."

2. Use the word, "bummer."
I use this word when I observe a student making a poor choice or after I listen to a complaint or tattle. I also usually also pair it with an "ugh, man" sort of sound effect. You can avoid arguing, lectures, and drawn out conversations by using this one word, but be VERY careful to not sound sarcastic.

3. Walk away.
Avoid further conflict that has the potential to escalate. This technique is usually paired with one of the following statements:

"I'll check on you when you're calm."

"I'll speak with you when we're both calm."

4. Delay consequences.
This strategy is similar to walking away. It allows both you and the student to cool down and think clearly. Students also do more thinking and reflecting as they await a consequence. You can say something like the phrase below and then follow up with the student later.

"Bummer, I'm going to have to do something about this. I need to think about it though. Try not to worry."

5. Provide choices for a solution.
If you have students that are having a difficult time dealing with tough situations or making good decisions, you can help them out by offering a few solutions they can choose to pursue. In this way, you allow them to take charge of their own problems and learn to build healthy relationships with others. A phrase you might consider is:

"I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like to hear some ideas about what other people have done (or might do) in your situation?"

6. Place responsibility on the student.
This is what Love and Logic is all about. You remove yourself and your emotions. You also help your students to gain responsibility, autonomy, and problem-solving skills. You can say things like:

"I'm sorry you made that choice."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

7. Turn your words into gold.
It's amazing to see the difference in student responses to a phrase like, "I'll begin when it's quiet," versus, "Be quiet!" Tweaking the way you word things can make a huge impact.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of all that the Love and Logic philosophy has to offer. These are just my most frequently used phrases that are applicable in a variety of situations. It is important to make the phrases your own to avoid sounding fake or scripted. Do what feels natural. It may seem like a conscious effort at first, but soon things like "bummer" will become as natural as breathing!

Do you use the Love and Logic approach at school or at home? What is your go-to phrase for neutralizing an argument? What other behavior management strategies do you use?

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7 Effective Love and Logic Strategies for the Classroom - The Art of Ed

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We all have those students who love to argue, push our buttons or just be temperamental in general. Without the right management tools, it is difficult not to take these students' actions personally. My first year of teaching, I sought out any and all courses in classroom management.

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This article is written by a teacher who formerly taught in a Love and Logic school.

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The school where I teach uses the Love and Logic model of discipline. This model is incredibly effective and easily implemented. According to Jim Fay, "Love and Logic is an approach to working with students that:
Teaches kids to think for themselves Raises the level of student responsibility Prepares kids to function effectively in a society filled with temptations, decisions, and consequences." (Teaching with Love and Logic, p. vii).
Key to Love and Logic is having a good relationship with your students. Some ideas: talk to the kids, ask about their families, and go to sporting events of theirs if possible. When students know you care, they are more likely to want to please you. This is so important!

Another key to Love and Logic is the theme of 'consequences with empathy'. Kids are told the consequences for misbehavior up front. Therefore, when misbehavior occurs, you can empathize with them. "Oh yeah, it really stinks that you have to miss recess because you were talking and didn't get your work finished, what do you think you might do differently next time?" Natural consequences are key to Love and Logic so students can see the connection between their behavior and the consequence.

Anytime a student has an issue that must be dealt with, I always end by reminding them that a mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it... and tomorrow is a new day with a fresh start! That way we end on a positive note, and when we walk back into the classroom we both (usually) have smiles on our faces.

If you struggle with discipline in your class and lets face it, who doesn't from time to time, look into Love and Logic. This article is just a brief overview. If you're not familiar with it, I highly encourage you check out their website: http://www.loveandlogic.com. My favorite book is Teaching With Love and Logic. I review this book every year. In fact, I have the CD's so I can listen on my way to and from school. They also have Love and Logic for Parents which is also wonderful.

As we enter the new school year, lets go in with upbeat attitudes ready to make positive changes in our lives and the lives of our students!

Follow Love and Logic on Facebook here: Love and Logic Facebook Page

Follow Love and Logic on Twitter here: Love and Logic on Twitter

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The school where I teach uses the Love and Logic model of discipline. This model is incredibly effective and easily implemented. According to Jim Fay, "Love and Logic is an approach to working with students that: Teaches kids to think for themselves Raises the level of student responsibility Prepares kids to function effectively in a society filled with temptations, decisions, and consequences."

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This resource compares the Love and Logic theory and the Assertive Discipline theory

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In order to put these principles into action, the teacher must develop a classroom action plan. This plan makes managing behavior easier, protects the rights of students, and helps to secure support from both parents and administrators. It consists of three sections, which are rules, positive recognition, and consequences. As previously mentioned, rules must be observable, not vague, and elaborate on what expectations are necessary for students to follow throughout the entire school day. Once these rules have been established, the teacher must determine how he or she will provide students with positive recognition. Positive recognition is defined as "the sincere and meaningful attention you give a student for behaving according to your expectations," and will help encourage students to choose positive behaviors (Canter, 1992, p. 57). This recognition can be individual such as notes and phone calls to parents, physical rewards, and special privileges, or it can be whole class such as extra free time or recess and special projects or activities. However, the consequences that teachers enforce in the classroom must be ones that students do not like, although they do not need to be harsh to be effective. These consequences should also be placed on a tiered system. The purpose of this tiered system is to place the teacher as the highest authority because "difficulties arise in the classroom system when teachers allow their students to have too much power or when it is unclear who is in charge" (Scarlett et al., 2009, p. 182). For example, the very first time a student exhibits disruptive behavior they should be given a warning. It is not until the behavior continues a second or third time that they should receive a consequence. These consequences include things like giving a student a time out, keeping a student after class, or the loss of a privilege in the classroom. If a student creates a disruption beyond that, the teacher should contact the student's parents, and then the principal (Canter, 1992). Although consequences must be enforced, "the key to Assertive Discipline is catching students being good - and letting them know that you like it" (Canter, p. 58).

For example, if a group of students is off task, the teacher would first provide them with a warning by reminding them what they are to be doing, while at the same time providing students who are behaving appropriately with supportive feedback. This supportive feedback would be something like "thank you for reading quietly". If the students continue to be off task, the teacher would provide a consequence by not allowing them to leave right away when the bell rings at the end of class. If this doesn't work, the student should be held after class for a little bit longer. Then, upon a fourth time disrupting the class, the teacher may move the student to another area of the classroom. If the behavior continues to occur, the teacher should remind the student of the discipline plan, and tell the student that they will be receiving a phone call home. If the behavior continues to escalate, the student should be sent to the principals office (Wolfgang, 2005).

This discipline plan must be explicitly taught to students. The teacher must explain to students why classroom rules are necessary, teach the rules themselves, make sure the students understand the rules, explain how students who follow the rules will be recognized, explain why there are consequences and what those consequences are, and once again check for student understanding. This is often done through role-playing so that students see for themselves what the rules mean. It is important that this be done at the beginning of the year so that students know what is expected right off the bat; however, this plan needs to be revisited throughout the year so that students do not forget what is expected of them. In addition, this discipline plan should be clearly posted within the classroom, and also sent home to parents so that they are aware of what you expect from their students (Canter, 1992).

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In order to put these principles into action, the teacher must develop a classroom action plan. This plan makes managing behavior easier, protects the rights of students, and helps to secure support from both parents and administrators. It consists of three sections, which are rules, positive recognition, and consequences.

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This is a power point presentation that a different group made about Love and Logic.

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This resource is a valuable critique of the Love and Logic theory

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So in my view, Love and Logic doesn't support parents to help the child develop emotional intelligence or manage his own emotions. Instead, the focus is on "teaching lessons" with "consequences" which are mostly punishments, supposedly delivered with kindness instead of anger.

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This is an article that clearly describes the Love and Logic approach and provides references to schools that are using Love and Logic.

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Stressing positive teacher-student relationships, empathetic adults, and differentiated consequences, the Love & Logic approach to behavior management has fans among teachers and parents. Included: Nine essential skills for teachers practicing Love & Logic.

The Love & Logic Institute may sound like a hippie holdover from the flower-power days, but its founders and practitioners say it offers a practical, time-tested system for improving student behavior and school climate.

The foundation of Love & Logic is positive bonds between teachers and students, so children want to be compliant; and using techniques to avoid arguments and power struggles. Educators also are encouraged to express empathy when students disobey the rules and tailor consequences to meet the needs of individual students and infractions.

"It's based on responsibility and relationships," said founder and former teacher and administrator Jim Fay. "It's about setting good limits in a loving way. I discovered -- and I wish I had discovered it sooner -- that if you get a kid to fall in love with you, he'll walk through fire for you."

TEACHING THE LOVE & LOGIC WAY

Fay and Dr. Foster W. Cline developed Love & Logic in 1977 after Fay said he had tried different behavior management strategies when he was an educator. The Love & Logic approach is outlined in Fay's book, Schoolwide Discipline Plan Without the Loopholes. Based on observations and his studies, Fay composed what he calls nine essential skills for teachers.

Neutralizing student arguing

Delaying consequence

Empathy

The recovery process

Developing positive teacher-student relationships

Setting limits with enforceable statements

Using choices to prevent power struggles

Quick and easy preventative interventions

Guiding students to own and solve their problems

Currently about 2,500 people are teaching the nine essential skills' program in schools and colleges and about 11,000 are teaching the Love & Logic version for parents in schools.

"It's not just for discipline and safety; it's to create an environment where everyone feels welcomed and loved," said Jennifer E. Guthals, principal of Thompson Falls (Montana) Elementary School. The entire district uses Love & Logic. "I was a brand-new principal when I came in [three years ago] and feel like this is one of the luckiest things that ever happened in my life."

"It allows us to have positive relationships, but positive relationships with high expectations."

Dr. Jerry Pauli, the superintendent of Thompson Falls Public Schools, thought Love & Logic would be a good fit for his district's needs after he and several other administrators attended a Love & Logic conference.
"I saw more stress coming in with the No Child Left Behind Act," Pauli said. "I wanted to improve relationships and wanted something for the high-risk populations coming into the district. The main thing is that the system is a way to deal with relationships -- student-student, student-staff, and staff-staff."

"Because we don't yell and we're not punitive, we have very few problems with disrespect toward adults," added Guthals. "A lot of kids are sad before Christmas and spring break because they miss us."

LAYING LOVE & LOGIC FOUNDATIONS

Educators in a Love & Logic school can begin by deciding on a list of core beliefs about working with children, said Fay. Those core beliefs could include the following:

Maintain dignity for the adult and child

Whenever possible, share the control

Whenever possible, share the thinking -- get the child to do more

If consequences are necessary, use the empathy-with-consequences approach

Learning a little about each student's interests and personality helps to foster a connection between students and teachers. Once those relationships are established, particularly with difficult students, maintaining compliance is easier. For example, if a student does not take off a hat in class, a teacher could quietly say to that student, "Hey, I'm glad your team won last night. I know what a big fan you are," and then as the teacher walks away, add, quietly, "Would you mind taking that hat off just for me?"

"You have to have relationships with high-risk students," added Guthals. "I have been amazed at how easy it is to build relationships with kids with Love & Logic strategies. When you build relationships, you can say to students, 'Will you stop doing that for me?' and they will."

Tracy Wagers, principal of Humanex Academy, a private grade 7-12 alternative school in Denver, Colorado, said Love & Logic has proven effective with most students in the 12 years the school has been using it. "It allows us to have positive relationships, but positive relationships with high expectations," Wagers told Education World. "We find we can use it to integrate academics and relationships with peers and teachers."

CHOICE AND RECOVERY

Teachers also learn techniques to prevent and interrupt disruptive behavior. One way to do that is to allow students some input into decisions affecting the class.

"We try to give kids as many choices as possible," said Wagers. "The teacher has to be able to share control. If it is a little thing, we try to allow choice -- students are more likely to cooperate when they have a choice." That could be as simple as telling a student he or she can stop disrupting the class or go to the office, she said.

"I discovered -- and I wish I had discovered it sooner -- that if you get a kid to fall in love with you, he'll walk through fire for you."

Love & Logic also takes a different approach to setting limits. "People who set limits don't tell kids what to do -- they tell kids what they are going to do," said Fay. "Let the kids fit in with your life." That could mean using statements such as, "I listen to people who raise their hands," or "I grade papers with names on them."
"It's saying, 'Here's how I run my life -- work to fit in,'" Fay noted. "It takes the fight out of them."

Still, problems are bound to arise. When appeals to students fail, teachers can ask pupils -- also quietly -- to go to a "recovery" area either in their own classroom or another room to regroup, adding that they will discuss the incident later.

EMPATHY AND CONSEQUENCES

Love & Logic stresses delaying any consequences until the heat of the moment has passed. When the time comes to discuss the infraction, the adult should empathize with the student's situation and administer a consequence that's appropriate for the student and the offense, according to Love & Logic. Expressing empathy can be as simple as saying "Bummer," or "I'm sorry you feel bad."

"I discovered that if you have the perfect consequence for a kid, but if you are angry, the kid remembers the anger, not the consequence," Fay told Education World. "If a teacher expresses empathy first, then the kid remembers the consequence. Then it's also hard to regard the teacher as the bad guy -- the student sees the behavior as the problem."

Empathy often is the hardest aspect of Love & Logic for teachers and administrators to remember to use. "Most of us are conditioned by modeling and repetition," Fay said. "We think we have to get angry to show kids how serious their actions are. That ruins things from the start."

He suggested educators adopt one empathetic response -- and make sure it fits them and their region. "It's not so much the word, but the feeling," Fay continued. "One-word empathy is generally more effective than anything. We teach men who want to be tough the empathetic grunt. Then they can move on to 'What a bummer.' Then put [the word or phrase] on sticky notes all over the place to remind yourself to use it."

Faculty members can use the staff's core beliefs to guide discipline decisions. "You figure out based on the guidelines what to do," Fay explained. "We believe teachers and administrators actually can think. In the traditional approach to discipline, you make rules -- decide what happens for each offense -- and each rule is enforced the same way. But that doesn't work. Kids can figure out ways to do things so consequences don't fit."

At Thompson Falls Elementary and all the schools in the district, educators apply consequences so students feel like they are learning something -- not being punished. "They are thankful for getting a second chance and realize they can help solve the problem," said Guthals. "I actually had a kid thank me because I gave him a consequence -- they think I'm helping them. It's the way you frame things."

"We have high expectations, but if a kid slips, we don't put him or her down," added Pauli, the district's superintendent. "They are all given second or third chances. Each one is treated as an individual. Each teacher knows what to do. We have a warm climate. It's not about a power trip."

LOVE & LOGIC IN ACTION

A boy at Thompson Falls Elementary last year, for example, was spreading an inappropriate rumor about a girl. Guthals called the boy to her office. "I said, 'I heard this is what is going on and want to know how to solve it.' We sat for ten minutes and talked about what to do."

The boy did receive an in-school suspension. "He had to demonstrate that he could focus just on his schoolwork," Guthals said. The student did his assignments in the counselor's office to show he could concentrate and complete his work. He also was assigned to model and monitor good behavior for the kindergartners.

"We're solving problems together rather than punishing mistakes."

In another situation, two students had been arguing for days. Guthals finally assigned the two of them to sit at a table and work together on a project until they could go more than ten minutes without squabbling. After three hours, they stopped arguing and have been getting along ever since.
"We're solving problems together rather than punishing mistakes," noted Guthals.

The decision to delay consequences for misbehavior was a trait among most highly-effective teachers Fay observed while doing research for Love & Logic.

"When you get tangled up in the idea that all kids need immediate consequences, you wind up doing something you regret later on," according to Fay.

THE EVOLUTION OF LOVE & LOGIC

And that is something with which Fay has experience from his career as an educator. "I started out with the traditional rules," he told Education World. "I would lay out the rules, the consequences, and then expect kids to follow the rules. And lie to the world that everyone was treated the same."

Part of the reason traditional discipline no longer works is that children have lost their fear of adults, Fay noted. "There is a whole different perspective kids have."

Fay continued following the conventional discipline path for several years, until an incident occurred when he was splitting his time between being a fifth-grade teacher and an assistant principal. A chronically misbehaving, borderline dangerous student finally pushed all of Fay's buttons at once. Fay slapped the boy and said the experience left him deeply troubled.

"I was at the end of my rope, and he was the typical little psychopathic kid -- a fire-starter, and everyone was afraid of him," Fay recalled. "He just thought he was tough, and I thought I just had to be tougher than he was."

Fay estimated he had talked to the boy's mother about 20 times trying to find a solution for his disruptive behavior. He told her he had slapped her son and was not proud of it. "She said, 'If you hadn't done it, someone else would have, based on how he was when he left the house.'"

But Fay decided the time had come to find a more effective behavior management approach that focused on preventing negative behavior. He watched teachers who had good classroom management skills and talked with psychologists. "I found ways to apply psychological approaches to classrooms," Fay told Education World. "I picked their [psychologists'] brains. I asked why certain things would work, and then they referred me to literature."

LAUNCHING LOVE & LOGIC

One way schools can get started with Love & Logic is by introducing one or two of the elements, asking teachers to try them on a voluntary basis, and having them report if using aspects of Love & Logic made their jobs easier. Otherwise, "when you announce a new mandated program, it's the job of a certain number of teachers to kill it," said Fay.

Love & Logic is most effective when it is implemented school-wide, as long as not all staff members are required to do it the same way. "Some people are more dramatic, some are more laid back," Fay noted.

"In the first year, it took some getting used to," admitted Guthals. "We started to realize that not every situation is the same. We have scaffolding for new teachers and try to send them to the Love & Logic Institute. We've never had a problem with parents getting onboard. Parents ask us for Love & Logic material."

Students' responses to consequences show how effective Love & Logic has been at Guthals' school. "They don't leave hating us [after receiving a consequence] -- they leave thinking we helped them," she said.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Article by Ellen R. Delisio
Education World®
Copyright © 2008 Education World

09/08/2008

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Practicing Love And Logic Can Mean Happier Schools | Education World

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Stressing positive teacher-student relationships, empathetic adults, and differentiated consequences, the Love & Logic approach to behavior management has fans among teachers and parents. Included: Nine essential skills for teachers practicing Love & Logic. The Love & Logic Institute may sound like a hippie holdover from the flower-power days, but its founders and practitioners say it offers a practical, time-tested system for improving student behavior and school climate.

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This is a link to Love and Logic`s Main website. It has a plethora of resources and information about Love and Logic.

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Positive Parenting Solutions & Educational Resources | Love & Logic®

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Positive parenting and teaching techniques to build healthy relationships with kids. Since 1977 we've helped make parenting and teaching fun and rewarding.

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This is a document with great ideas of how to implement Love and Logic in a school.