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"I'm bulletproof nothing to lose. Fire away, fire away. Ricochet, you take your aim. Fire away, fire away. You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium. You shoot me down but I won't fall."

~ David Guetta
"Titanium"

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"Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through. Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you. Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you."

~ Rachel Platten

"Stand by You"

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"I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young. Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run. I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come. Do whatever I want like I'm born to run."

~ American Authors
"I'm Born To Run"

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"Excuse me if I seem a little unimpressed with this. An anti social pessimist but usually I don't mess with this. And I know you mean only the best and your intentions aren't to bother me."

~ Alessia Cara
"Here"

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"I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare. I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair. Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me. What the f*** is wrong with me."

~ Simple Plan
"I'm Just a Kid"

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When I was in elementary school I fought with my sister a lot. So we usually had to compromise on things. Like when we both want to watch TV we'd usually agree that Sydney would watch TV for 2 hours and then it would be my turn until dinner. 🖥 🍔

Unconscious Influence

I have a very big family which means I have a lot of cousins. However, in my entire family I am one of the youngest, so growing up I had to defend myself against not only my older sister, but also my many older cousins. This started at a very young age so I was unknowingly being trained to be not only more defensive, but also to pick myself up when I'm down. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 💪🏻

Denial

When I fight with my sister we both use the same technique. Say the opposite of what the other is saying. But eventually one of us will have to admit that we're wrong. However, neither of us hardly ever do that. Usually I just deny that I'm wrong, because admitting that she's right is so much worse. She'll never let it go. 👩🏼 👱🏻‍♀️

Safety

I categorized resilient into the safety level because if my resilience was weak, I would have grown up as more of a pushover and a wimp. 💪🏻 💪🏻

Real Self

I'm the type of person who is very stubborn and defensive. But, I do everything I can to make sure that I always get back up. 👊🏻 💪🏻

Ideal Self

I wish that I wasn't as stubborn as I am now. Being stubborn has really interfered with my decision making. 💖 🤭

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In one of my other classes I sit with someone that I don't really like. But whenever they ask for help or want to talk about an issue, I try to help as much as I can. Even though he isn't my favorite person in the world, it doesn't mean that I have to be mean to him. ❤️ ❤️

Unconscious Influence

When my sister was in high school she was always getting into trouble. But it wasn't school trouble, it was trouble at home. She would always pick fights, especially with my mom and I. During this time I was in 5th-8th grade, so it made quite a big impression on me. I remember looking at my parents and telling them that I would never be like that. 👩🏼 👑

Reaction Formation

If i don't like someone, I don't usually show it because I hate being mean. So when someone I don't like talks to me, I just pretend that I like them and act nice and try to help with whatever it is that they wanted. 😊 👍🏻

Love and Belonging

I categorized caring into the love and belonging level because I use my kindness and empathy to further strengthen my relationships. ❤️ ♋️

Real Self

I'm the type of person who cares about caring. I value empathy and kindness over most things. ❤️ 😁

Ideal Self

I will change something that I love, even if it means making someone else happy, and I wish I stood my ground more. ❤️ 😁

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When I was in 4th grade, my friends and I were playing outside at our friend Athena's house. In her backyard there is a  stream and I was curious so I convinced a few of my friends to come with me to explore. It ended up raining but I wanted to know where it ended. So I kept going with my friend Olivia until we got to the end. By the time I arrived home, I was cold, sick, and grounded. 🌧 🚲

Unconscious Influence

Up until the divorce it was a family tradition to travel to Michigan for a week during the summer. We would camp and swim, but my favorite things to do were to explore the woods behind our campsite, either by myself or with my sister, and to collect shells, rocks, and glass from the beach with my mom. Because this all started at such a young age, I unconsciously have the need to be curious about everything I come across. 🌲 🌊

Displacement

When I asked my parents to let me get a tattoo, they immediately said no. I, obviously, didn't like that but if I yelled at them about it I would get in trouble and then there's no way I'd ever be able to get a tattoo. So instead I rant about it to my friends. 👷🏻‍♂️ 👩🏼‍🏫

Self-Esteem

I categorized adventurous into the self-esteem category because the things I've done and the things I will do, are things that I consider accomplishments. And I am the type of person who takes pride in the things I know and in my accomplishments. 👍🏻 💜

Real Self

I love trying new things and exploring new places. It makes me feel like I'm being true to myself. 🌃 🏞

Ideal Self

Even though I love being adventurous, my anxiety tends to get in the way so sometimes I deny one.

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Over the weekend, my mom and sister wanted to go out for dinner, but I just wanted to stay home and sleep. I finally agreed to go out to dinner with them but only if I could pick the movie to watch when we got home. 🍟 🎬

Unconscious Influence

In elementary school I was outgoing and sociable, but once I started middle school, everything changed. I started caring about what other people thought of me and tried to fit in with the social norms that girls fall under. I was scared of being out of place, because out of place means attention and that's something I've never been a very big fan of. But I also strongly believed in my morals which went against the expectations of girls. Because of this, I was my real self around friends and family, but at school I was quiet so as not to stand out while also not going against my morals. 🤭 👱🏻‍♀️

Sublimation

I tend to lock myself in my room for many hours of the day so as to avoid social interaction. But lately, instead of just sleeping, I take that time to either do my homework, look into colleges, or clean/organize my room. 😴 📖

Self-Esteem

I'm not categorizing introverted into the self-esteem category because confidence is what I lack most. Me being the introverted pessimist that I am, I focus only on the bad things about myself rather than appreciating the good(however little and few there are).

Real Self

I am very introverted and rarely extroverted. I prefer to stay in my room and do nothing rather than go to a social gathering. 🏡 👥

Ideal Self

I wish I wasn't as much of an introvert because most of the time I either don't do/say anything or I do/say things that I don't actually mean. I simply say it to fit in. But I wish I was more comfortable being myself. 🤭 👱🏻‍♀️

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In school there are lots of presentations, which for me is basically the end of the world. But it was especially hard in Spanish because I struggle in language based classes. So my freshman and sophomore year(when I took Spanish 1 & 2)I asked my teachers if I could do them in private so I could prevent having a panic attack in front of the whole class. 😣 🇪🇸

Unconscious Influence

My anxiety is both biological and psychodynamic. My mom had anxiety, and still does, and my dad has gone through depression which most of the time goes hand in hand with anxiety. From the psychodynamic point of view, my childhood was filled with many anxiety provoking situations. For example, I did ballet as a kid and I specifically remember one performance that I did when I was about five years old. Our group, especially me, couldn't remember the routine (because I never paid any attention) so we had to leave the stage. At the time I didn't know what was happening but I do remember feeling an ache in my chest and my breathing was very staggered. 😶 👧🏼

Intellectualization

When I'm feeling anxious about something school related, I think about how important high school is and how it will effect my future. I force myself to remember that if I don't do well in school, then my future will be much harder than it needs to be. 🤓 🧠

Self-Esteem

I'm not categorizing anxious into the self-esteem category because my anxiety prevents me from having the confidence to express myself. Not being able to be who I am, limits the number of opportunities for accomplishments. 🤭 🗣

Real Self

I have a lot of anxiety and I've been getting better at not letting it dictate my life as much. 😶 🤐

Ideal Self

I wish that my anxiety was a lot lower than it is now because it interferes with much of my life. 👎🏻 🤐

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I am a very organized person with an interest in learning about anything and everything I can. When I make lists I make sure that they are color-coordinated and/or listed in bullet points with bold and italic words. For example, when I organize my clothes I organize them based on color and type with color coordinated hangers. ✅ ⚫️

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I am very 50/50 with this trait because I am quiet, reserved, and withdrawn but I am also warm and seek adventure. 🛤 🔥

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I lean more towards the high score of this trait because I am very curious and am interested in a wide variety of things. But, I also love routine because it puts control in my very chaotic life. 📖 🤯

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I think I have a high score with this trait because I am helpful, trusting, and very empathetic. ☺️ 👍🏻

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Even though I am very even-tempered, I am also incredibly anxious, usually unhappy, and am a pessimist about 83% of the time. 😥 💧