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Fear?  What is that really?  Have you ever thought about how to describe fear?  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fear is the most general term and it implies anxiety and usually loss of courage.  For me, I experienced the greatest level of fear when I lost my son at a waterpark.
He was only 4 years old at the time.  My son and I were in Charleston, South Carolina visiting my brother and my niece.  It was a hot July summer day.  We thought the perfect way to cool off and enjoy the beautiful weather would be to take the kids to the waterpark for the day.  We were all having a great time.  We plummeted over and under waves in the wave pool.  We relaxed on the lazy river.  Went up and down several slides.  Enjoyed pizza for lunch followed by ice cream.  And we were back to play in the water so more.
I had gone to the restroom and thought my brother was watching both children.  When I returned to where I had left them at they were not there.  I figured they must have gone to get on another slide.  I laid down in a lounge chair and enjoyed a few minutes to myself soaking up the sun and resting my mind.  My brother and niece popped up several minutes later.  My brother asked me "where is Kingston."
"Where is Kingston!" I shouted back.  "I thought he was with yall," I said.  Then I saw it: Fear!  My brother's face became very serious and frightened.
Then I felt it.  Fear.  It overtook my entire body.  I jumped out of the lounge chair.  I frantically began screaming Kingston's name.  My heart was pounding.  My hands were tingling.  A completely different type of sweat was pouring off me.  I quickly searched the play area for Kingston.  I scanned all the lines for the slides.  I was shaking, my knees were weak.  I was running around the snake-like concrete path above the lazy river peering in, praying my baby wasn't under the water.  Oh my god.  I couldn't hear myself think.  I couldn't hear anything.  I was panicking.  Kingston does not know how to swim.  Oh my God, he is drowning.  I yelled to a lifeguard to page someone that my son was missing and he doesn't know how to swim.  I was terrified.  My whole world was crashing down on me.  My mouth was dry, I could barely swallow.  Wandering aimlessly through that waterpark praying my baby was okay.  Scared to keep looking in the water, skimming the bottom of the pools and play areas searching for his little body.
And then a man stopped me "ma'am, I believe your son is in the men's restroom."  I bolted into that men's bathroom. I could see his little feet swaying under the stall door.  I told him to open the door.  His response "mom, you're going to get in trouble, you can't be in the boy's bathroom."  He was clueless to the fear and uncertainty that he had caused me.
Fear.  That unpleasant sense of danger.  I say all of this to conclude that sometimes fear can be a good thing!  In this terrifying situation, I learned so much about being a parent.  I will never ever assume someone is watching my child.  My child now knows he cannot wander off by himself, even if it is just to go to the bathroom. I immediately signed my baby up for swim lessons.  I realized just how quickly a great fun-filled day can turn into an antagonizing fearful moment.  Whatever it is that might terrify you, embrace it, learn from it, and you can grow from it!

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Dear Carolyn,
I still cannot believe the timing of everything.  They say God works in mysterious ways, but I am still having the hardest time accepting it.  I find myself asking him why over and over again.  Cancer is a mean, nasty disease.  I watched it antagonize you with crippling pain, starve you down to your bones, tire you with endless bouts of vomiting and uncontrollable nauseous, steal years of your life, and yet you stood strong and did not hide in your faith.  I learned so much from you.  You are a strong and courageous woman.  You fought a long battle with pancreatic cancer and defied all the odds.  Through the four years, I witnessed it slowly eat away at you, I learned from you that cancer cannot shatter our hope, corrode our faith, destroy our peace, kill our love for others, silence our courage, or steal eternal life from us.  We miss you so much, but find reassurance that you are finally home!
Love always,
Your Daughter in Law/ Gemini Sister
P.S. Thank you for raising such a perfect gentleman!  His love is a direct reflection of your kind, loving heart! Xoxo's

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“Allison, how much longer are you going to be?” Jimmy asked me as he splashed on his cologne.  He was ready to roll out of our hotel room and meet everyone in the lobby.

We were in Las Vegas for one of my best friend’s 30th birthdays.  We had a big crowd of friends there.  Brittany, the Birthday Girl, and her boyfriend, Jarrad.  Amber and her boyfriend.  Becca and Brooke.  Richie.  The only girl from our clique that was missing was Leah.  She had to work that weekend and could not make it.

Brittany had made reservations for her birthday dinner at 8 pm, but first, she wanted us to do group photos in front of the water show at the Bellagio. We all agreed to meet in front of our hotel lobby at 7:00 pm and catch a cab to the Bellagio to do group photos before heading to our dinner reservations.

"Seriously, Allison, you need to hurry up," Jimmy said.

“What are you talking about?  I’m almost ready.”  That was a lie and we both knew it.  I was just finishing my eyeliner.  My hair was still soaking wet.  I wasn’t dressed.

Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed with his feet on the ground.  He kept looking at his watch.  Rushing me, which I cannot stand.  “We have to go Allison.  Everyone is going to be waiting on us.”

“Will you just text Brittany and tell her that we will meet them at dinner instead?” I asked him.

“No way, we are here for Brittany’s birthday and she wants us all to be in the group photo.  You need to come on” Jimmy responded.

“Please do not rush me.  You know I can’t stand that!”  I shouted at him.

“This isn’t your birthday.  We are here for your friend.  Just put your clothes on.”  Jimmy was agitated.

He struck a nerve with me and we were about to start fighting. With such an ugly attitude I told him “Then you go without me.  Get out of here.  You’re really starting to piss me off.  I am on vacation too, I can’t stand being rushed.”

"Fine Allison, have it your way," he said as he walked out of our hotel room.

I unwrapped the cord from around my hair dryer and plugged it in.  As I started drying my hair, I started feeling bad.  I knew I was being selfish.  I was in Las Vegas for a friend's birthday,  and I was willing to miss out on what she wanted to do because I was still primping.  What kind of friend acts like that?  I turned the hairdryer off and went and put on my dress.  I slid my feet in my heels and quickly buckled the straps around my ankles.  I grabbed my bag and headed down to the hotel lobby.

When I got down to the hotel lobby, I could not find anyone in our group.  I rushed outside to the Uber pick up lines and did not see them there.  I then rushed back into the hotel and down to the taxi pick up area.  They weren’t there either.  I went ahead and hopped in a taxi by myself.  I told the driver “take me to the Bellagio please.”

It was quiet in the taxi, but the hustle and bustle of the Las Vegas strip could be heard as we sat in dead stopped traffic on the way to the Bellagio.  Then my phone rang and it was Brittany.

"Hello," I said answering her call.

"Hey girl, we are waiting on you.  How much longer do you need until you are ready" Brittany asked me?

I told her “I am on my way now.  I am sitting in traffic, but I should be there in just a few minutes.”

“What do you mean you are sitting in traffic?” she questioned me.  “We are all waiting for you in the hotel lobby.”

“I came down there and I didn’t see yall, so I went ahead and headed over to the Bellagio” I informed her.

“Oh my god, why didn’t you call?  We have been sitting down here waiting for you.  We are on our way there now” she quickly stammered as she disconnected the call.

When I got arrived at the Bellagio, I waited in the front lobby for them to get there.  I was somewhat impressed with myself.  I am always the one running late.  Everyone was always having to wait on me.  And here I was, there before everyone else!  Our group arrived about ten minutes later.  There were so many of us that they had to take two separate cabs.  As my friends piled out of the vehicles, I ran up to Brittany.  "Girl, I am sorry," I said as I hugged her neck.

I didn’t say a word to Jimmy.  Us girls walked down the side ramp to get to the fountain show.  When we found a good spot, we stopped and waited for the display to begin.  Brittany wanted a group photo while the fountain show was happening in the background.  As it began, we all crowded by one another and she asked a stranger to take our picture with her camera.  She was showing the photographer how to operate the camera and then rushed back over to our group.  We were all smiling and posing.  “Take a bunch of them” someone in our group shouted to our new found photographer.

Jimmy was standing beside me for the photos.  And then he moved out of the group shot.  It looked like he had his phone in his hand and was going to take pictures of us too.  "What are you doing?  Get in the picture. Are you still mad at me? I shouted at him.

What was he doing?  "Get up," I said as he squatted down to take our picture from a different angle.  Oh well, I thought.  So I went back to posing.  Smiling at the camera.  Completely oblivious to what was really happening.

“Ally, look at what he is holding” Brittany whispered to me.

Oh my God.  He wasn’t taking our picture.  It wasn’t his phone he was holding.  He had a ring and was on one knee. He was proposing to me.  I was completely dumbfounded.  “Yes! Yes!” I shrieked running over to him.  “Get up.  I am so sorry.  I love you so much.”

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The sparkling dark deep water refreshes my soul
The warmth of the sun kissing my skin
The sun shining bright and reflecting off the water
The thick grass crunches under my feet as I make my way down
The kids laughing and splashing
The faint sounds of music in the background
The hums and drums of other boats and jet-skis propelling through the water
These feelings flood my soul: peace, bliss, and gratitude down at the dock enjoying the sparkling, dark, deep water.

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I originally started writing my narrative about my family. It seemed to just go on and on. 4 pages written and all I had talked about was my son's first five years of his life. I was struggling to get to present day - selling my home and moving into my husband's home and becoming a blended family. The hand map helped me narrow it down to one significant moment in my life. So, I started completely over and just wrote about how my husband shocked me with his proposal. I referenced Dorothy Allison's Out of Bastard several times as a mentor text. It clearly illustrated how dialogue should be written and paragraph breaks.

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The Hand Map was an excellent strategy to get my ideas and experiences on paper and to tie them to an emotion. I really enjoyed the Six Room Poetry strategy. I am not much of a writer, but the way the you asked us to describe what we feel, see, hear, etc seemed to help my poetry flow beautiful. The opinion/informative piece was the most difficult for me. In the past, I have always been given a topic to write about when required to write a persuasive or informational essay. I struggled to find a topic to write about this time.

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I will definitely use the Six Room Poetry strategy in my future classrooms. I think this technique really helps students focus on small details that they normally would not write about. I also like the Hand Map. This gives students a great starting point to develop their thoughts.

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Headache!!!  I initially went to Padlet, because I have used it before and am familiar with how to navigate it.  Well, when I first logged in, it wanted me to upgrade my account and purchase a membership.  Padlet allows you to create 3 padlets and then you must purchase a membership.  I had reached the maximum three.
So then I thought I would try Emaze.  I tired creating an account from Google Chrome and Internet Explorer, but I kept getting an error message.
Next, I tried Kid Blog.  I was able to create an account and received the confirmation link to my email, but every time I tried to create a class, I kept getting an error message that my email was not valid.
Finally, I went back to Padlet and deleted everything on an old padlet and created this over it.