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As I read this article, the teachers I had in my life who truly showed they cared were running through my head. I was fortunate to have teachers who built genuine relationships and did not adhere to the professional 'norms' that build walls between teachers and educators. Building genuine relationships with students is always why I have loved working with them and I have drawn upon the experiences I had with my teachers to help me in doing so with my class. The year always starts off with great intentions and as the work piles up, students get comfortable, and stress mounts it is easy to forget to focus on the relationship building and get caught up in the 'work.' This article was a nice refresher and opportunity to re-center around what is really important during the chaos of a school year. So, as I move to get students to turn in their late work, pay attention in class, and keep conversations relevant to the topics we are discussing, I will keep in mind the advice of Mr. Toshalis and connect with them in a more meaningful way while still achieving the desired objective.

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As I read this article I quickly remember growing up in a school similar to these "guidelines" given for the relationships between a teacher and his/her student. The idea that teachers are to be feared and students are to be quiet. Developing relationships with our students is essential to their personal, academic, and emotional growth. Too man students do not have a consistent expectation or standard at home paired with someone who cares about them as students and people. Sometimes, if not more often than not, the learning taking place in the classroom is not measured on a test. By demonstrating a level of care and concern for a child as a person we are working to make them their best, not the kid next to them's bet, but their best. Identifying that with each child is a challenge and takes that "getting to know them" time period. This is something we often have to make time for and it doesn't always happen organically, it is a process and one that we have to be diligent in to be effective in this relationship connection. This article struck me when I read the difference between the relationship of an elementary teacher and then that of a middle school/high school teacher. Working with both age groups I believe this to be incredibly true that the need for connecting is just as important for an elementary aged child as it is for a middle/high school aged adolescent. Their need to connect and feel valued by an adult is of great importance. The article states, "use the hallway not to police behavior, but to connect with students." Just a hello, high five, or how's it going can make all the difference for these kids. Those three minutes in the hallway makes you a visible connection to them and helps build that relationship, and it doesn't cost any more time than just a few minutes.
Also, the article states, "we need to let them see us sweat and smile way before Thanksgiving." Humanizing ourselves serves a greater purpose to those students to see us as every day people, not just an authoritarian to them. I believe that when they see us as people it gives them a sense of security to be themselves too. It creates trust, freedom to let their guard down a little and be safe to be vulnerable in their learning, it also allows them to see that the expectations we have for them is not because we are superior to them, but because we want to them to succeed.
The last thing I want to mention is that most kids are just learning to be kids, they haven't done this "time in their life" before and they are probably not good at it on most days. Therefore, adults are not perfect at it either and fall short in what we are doing in our lives. But understanding that both sides of this is a learning process and can be changed, refined, and managed better is half the battle. Building those relationships take work and it isn't easy especially for the kids that challenge us the most. It is an important part of helping them be successful people, not something measured on a test, rather something gathered in a heart. I write all of this as my own personal reflection and reminder of how i can be better, how individual students need me to be better, and how even though I try I may fail, but I have to keep trying. That will be my goal this year- be better, understand that this is all part of learning, and at the end of the day simple connections are just as important as the science assignment I am giving them.

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The part in this article that really made me sit down and think was, "rushing to get through the chapter or we have to prepare them for the test." As educators, we have so much pressure and stress put on us to get through all the chapters and standards to prepare for the final test at the end of the year-Smarter Balanced. When, it shouldn't be like that. We shouldn't just be preparing students for 'the test', we need to be preparing students 'for life.' People besides educators need to realize there is so much more than just the test at the end of the year that defines students and teachers. They don't know about the relationships, struggles, behaviors, and home lives these students come to us having. So in helping my students and I this year, I am going to focus on and try more of me not standing in front of the classroom talking and leading the discussions. As the article states, 'get the students responding to one another and asking each other open ended questions.' My class loves to talk, and I feel like I'm asking them to quiet down during class discussions, when really, I should be the one letting them talk to each other and disagreeing and agreeing. Doing this, the students are able to voice their own opinions and listen to other's and their ideas. I'm also going to try to get away from standing in front of the room and 'sit down among the students and talk with them, slow down, and listen' as the article states. To me, this is what is going to help me gain better relationships with my students and get away from 'teaching from the book'. We need to talk less, and listen more to the students to connect with these students.

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Being an encore teacher has it's own special challenges when it comes to relating to students and developing a personal connection with them.  We see a lot of students!
It is a little easier to get close to those students that I give lessons to in the 5th-6th grade band.  We have 15-20 minutes once a week to talk about our personal lives and then try to learn a little music, too!  Unfortunately, time does not allow me to give lessons to all the 5th-6th grade band students - I wish it did.
My one little contribution to making a connection comes from walking through the gym in the morning when the 3-6 students are lining up to go to their classrooms.  I try to converse with a few and say "hi".  I also go through the gym during lunch times to see students and be seen. It isn't much, but , It's a little way to see students outside of the classroom.
This article did get me thinking about some other ways I could make connections with students. I appreciate spending time on thinking about why we teach - not just to pass on our subject knowledge, but, because we like children and want them to thrive.

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In the article, Correcting our Connecting, stressed that we need to show our student's that we are behind them. Many students have our trust quickly while others have been let down by adults. I want to continue to build that trust with my students as I have done in past years. I am trying to implement having a new student each week to greet their classmates with a high five or a handshake and a hello. I want them to realize that we are our own team and community. Even if we have differences, we can still work together and be kind to others. Each child has immediate contact with a classmate and me. Hoping this will build more trust also. I will reflect more on why a student may be showing apathy, disengagement or indifference. It may not be about the academics but a deeper source. I try to look at that aspect but will be even more aware of it.

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One thing from this article that really resonated  with me was when Eric said "we often cared more about our students' compliance and productivity than their psychosocial and cultural well-being." Something that I hope I do.... and will continue to do is to find ways to relate to students. Help spark their enthusiasm and show them that they can trust me; trust me that they can be them- whatever state or emotion that is. The saying that we hopefully have all heard was mentioned again in this article, "student's won't care what you know until they know that you care." I want to show all of our students that I care and that they are special and important. Showing and cultivating an environment of kindness and respect is far more important to me than making sure students know how to walk straight in the hallway.

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September 2016 | Volume 74 | Number 1
Relationships First Pages 16-20

Eric Toshalis

To get behind our students, we need to show them-not merely tell them-that we care.

Before I became a teacher, I worked in food service. I loved it. I was part of a high-functioning team in a dining hall that served three meals a day to thousands of hungry undergraduates. Each summer we transitioned to hosting conferences, during which we served cardiac surgeons, cryptographers, cosmologists, and cheerleaders. We worked long hours, made messes, served healthy and delicious food, and always left the kitchen at night as clean as we found it in the morning.

There are lots of reasons why I loved the work-so much so that I almost chose it as my career rather than education. In particular, one practice I learned in the kitchen taught me a lot about care. The practice is just two words: "Behind you." It's what every person on the noisy kitchen floor is taught to say as they carry scalding water or sharp knives while maneuvering around others. "Behind you," we'd say in that dangerous environment, to alert others that we saw them, that we recognized their vulnerability, and that we would keep them safe by letting them know we were there.

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September 2016 | Volume 74 | Number 1 Relationships First Pages 16-20 Eric Toshalis To get behind our students, we need to show them-not merely tell them-that we care. Before I became a teacher, I worked in food service. I loved it.