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In the book it tells us that conversation orientation relates to how open families are to discussing a range of topics.If a family has a high conversation orientation interact freely, often, and spontaneously. Families with low conversation orientation will have taboo topics and have restricted conversations.

In this scene from Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family, the family is at dinner. During this dinner the two sisters, Kimberly and Tammy get into a big argument where it's discovered that Kimberly thinks Tammy is jealous of her and Tammy denies the jealousy and airs out that Kimberly had a baby at a young age. After that conversation, the little brother, Byron finds out his mother isn't who he thinks she is and the baby Kimberly had was him, meaning who he thought was his mother this whole time is really his grandmother. The conversations held during the dinner were very free without filter.

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According to the book, social support is about helping loved ones during challenging times by providing emotional, informational, or instrumental resources. Also it says in order to aid those you love communication has to play a central role. Emotional support is listening with empathy and responding in a caring way. Informational support is giving recommendations or advice, and Instrumental support is doing a task or favor for a person you love. An example of that would be your significant other being sick so you making dinner for the family.

In this scene from Tyler Perry's Big Happy Family,  the mother died from cancer. While the mother was still alive the family was very dysfunctional and argumentative. Although most may think a death will bring a family together it did the opposite and the family was more torn apart than ever. Madea (the aunt) comes in to give the family a talk and wake up call. The talk she gives comes from the love she has for the family. She threatens to beat the babymom up if she continues harrasing her grandson.  ( emotional support) , the advice she gives in order for the kids but in this scene , the son,  to move on and be successful in life is informational support. The instrumental support is taking care of the family and holding them together because of the sudden death.

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The first theory that i chose was relational dialectics theory. This is when the members of the relationship feel a constant pressure that is conflicting and last throughout the lifetime of the relationship. While this can be very conflicting and troubling, sometimes the problem is never really resolved. Most of the time, they are trying to communicate with each other and find a resolution to the conflict desires and see that in the end, they are finally resolved. The biggest thing about this theory is that the conflicts that are present in the communication of the group is that they last the almost the whole time through the life of the relationship.

In this scene in the film, Shirley is standing in the kitchen talking about a situation that had just happened with Aunt Bam. Calvin and his wife get into an argument with Tammy about how Shirley wants all of the family to be at the dinner table so she can tell them about her cancer and how long she has to live. Tammy and Kimberly get into an argument and are calling each other names and Calvin and Kimberly leave. Shirley is upset about the situation because she has been trying to get them together for a while now and she cannot do it. She is talking to Aunt Bam because she feels like she does not know what to do and it is stressing her out. She just wants the family to all come together so she can tell them what is happening. Relational dialectics come into play because this situation has been going on for a while now and Shirley is trying to come up with a resolution but cant seem to do so yet.

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The second theory that i chose is expectancy violation theory, which is when someone has high expectations for a certain situation but it does not go as planned and does not meet the expectations that they were looking for. Certain situations create a expectation for everyone and the outcome is not always what you are looking for. When it does not end up how you were expecting, is when this theory comes into play. Expectancy of situation can come from many different factors including the behavior of the people in the situation, the communication skills, and the tone of voice.

In this scene, Byron sneaks Renee into his house in the middle of the night and they appear to be arguing the whole time. As they are walking up the stairs she is talking about he is not giving her enough money to fill her needs. They sit down and start talking and Byron tells her to get a job so that she can have more money. She did not like that and tells him that she told him at the beginning of the relationship that she needed to be kept, meaning that he needs to be supporting her and he was not doing what she expected him to do. He wasn't meeting the needs that she wanted and that he was failing her expectations as a boyfriend. This is a good example of the expectancy violation theory because in this situation he is not meeting the expectations that Renee wanted and it was making her very upset. He tells her to get a job and she says that it wont happen, and then he proceeds to tell her that he is not giving her any more money than he already is. She did not like this and gets up and throws a fit.

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In this scene from Tyler Perry`s Big Happy Family, Madea drives up to the drive thru in a good mood ready to order her food. But the waitress Renee is in a bad mood over the intercom and it causes Madea’s emotions to transfer from her bad vibe. The emotional contagion theory is the process where emotions are transferred from one person to another. Because of Renee’s bad service and attitude at the window, it caused Madea to drive up to the window and confront her and soon after Madea retaliated violently.

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In this scene from Tyler Perry Big Happy Family, we have an argumentative couple of Calvin and Kimberly which whom is always in disagreement. Kimberly is the type of person who always wants her way and is mean to the world because she still holds a grudge to a family member who raped her at age 13. The argumentation theory states that the interdisciplinary study of how conclusions can be reached through logical reasoning; that is, claims based, soundly or not, on premises. It includes the arts and sciences of civil debate, dialogue, conversation, and persuasion. In this scene Calvin is fed up with Kimberly’s attitude and her actions towards her family and decides to take their child away and leave for the night.

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In this scene, from Tyler Perry's Big Happy Family,  Madea talks to Tammy and Harold about respecting each other. She explains that there children are disrespectful because of them they disrespect each other in front of the children. If they have respect for each other than their children would too. Harold finally isn't Tammy's push over and puts his foot down. Because Madea explains no woman wants a man she can run over or isn't tough enough to stand up for himself. hats when she feels the need to want to disrespect him because finds him as a wimp. Madea have them talk it out and Tammy finally listens to her husband and Harold finally speaks up.

Another concept I chose was from communication and relational dynamics which is control and Tammy shows that in all her scenes with her husband. She continues to cut him off, speak over him and disrespect him. In the book, they explained control as the degree to which the parties in a relationship have the power to influence one another. In this relationship, Tammy calls the shots while Harold let her run over him. Relational problems arise when they don't have similar ideas about the distribution of control.

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In this scene, from Tyler Perry's Big Happy Family, Tammy and her husband gets into an heated argument. But Harold isn't able to get a single word out because Tammy will not let him. Tammy is unsatisfied in her marriage and doesn't want to express to her husband why. During, this scene they are having a serious argument about their marriage. Unfortunately, Tammy is being very rude and obnoxious to her husband. Tammy states, "There is nothing happy about the years we've been together, and she is trying to get the hell away from him". This scene tides right with my concept of Couples' conflict styles: avoidant.

In the book,  it explains how " the first big fight" is a common romantic turning point and conflict is a normal part of couples' communication.  John Gottman has spent years studying romantic relationships and found that couples tend to fall into one of the three following conflict styles: volatile, avoidant and validating. Tammy and her husband fall under avoidant because their relationships expresses how they prefer to ignore issues rather than confront them. They both acknowledge that they have conflicts, but they handle them quickly and dispassionately.

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Adler, Ronald B., et al. LOOK: Looking out, Looking In. 15th ed., Nelson Education            Ltd., 2018.

Perry, Tyler, director. Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family. Lionsgate, 2011.