# data[].attributes.headline
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

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A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

# data[].attributes.subject
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

# data[].attributes.headline
Energiser Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

# data[].attributes.subject
Energiser Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

# data[].attributes.headline
The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.

# data[].attributes.subject
The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.

# data[].attributes.headline
In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

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In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

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What's purple and 5000 miles long? The Grape Wall of China!

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What's purple and 5000 miles long? The Grape Wall of China!

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
It was two tired

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Cereal killer.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

# data[].attributes.headline
 It's hard to beat scrambled eggs for breakfast!

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 It's hard to beat scrambled eggs for breakfast!

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What's the worst thing about throwing a party in space?
You have to planet

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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

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I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

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I was the second man on the moon. Neil before me.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.

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It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers

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It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers

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I went to a seafood disco last week....and pulled a mussel.

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I went to a seafood disco last week....and pulled a mussel.

# data[].attributes.headline
I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill

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I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill

# data[].attributes.headline
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Err...so how do you drive this thing?”

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Err...so how do you drive this thing?”

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The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel 

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I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel 

# data[].attributes.headline
Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right, so I left.

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Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right, so I left.

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Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

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Love you a latte

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you can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna a fish

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you can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna a fish

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You are acute tea pi.

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I just found out I'm colour blind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

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I just found out I'm colour blind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

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My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

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My puns are koala tea

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The broom swept the nation away.

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The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

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lets talk about rights and left. You're right, so i left 

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lets talk about rights and left. You're right, so i left 

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Let's taco about it.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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Since I've quit soccer, I've lost my goal in life.

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He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

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My paper got ripped earlier and I'm still torn up about it.