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So the beginning has been really boring, the first like 3 chapters were not great at all. I literally cannot find one book im into, besides the oxygen thief which i think im gonna go to the public library to go and get. In this book it took 3 chapters to establish a setting and I just kinda lost interest. Ive also been kinda stressed and overwhelmed lately so its been hard to focus on this darn book that is super duper boring. Also the book is really like "low" vocabulary and Its just not gonna work for me. If i dont like this book im not sure how to blog about it... Literally all i can think to say is that its not a great book and that i predict by the end of the book shes gonna make friends with the creepy people who live in that house. I need a book that makes me feel like i feel about my life in real life, I need one that supports how bad my situation is ya know. life sucks sometimes lol, and i need a book that backs that up. This is a call for help to HELP ME FIND A BOOK. Theres like literally nothing to talk about because i just didnt like it. I miss reading All the Rage tbh. Thats the first book i didnt drop in a long time!! Natalie literally found one book and no she loves reading, I WANT THAT OMG!!! i hope this is the last book I drop for the year woo.

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So i dropped the other one and I found this one in the library and so far Its okay? Ive noticed that this book is literally filled with similes. It sounds like it takes place in the old times by how her house is described. I havent gotten into the book too much but it said its about a girl who leaves her family and her controlling boyfriend and moves into a haunted house which she didnt know was haunted at the time. Its supposed to be a haunting story and Ive always been into books that have to do with demons and ghosts and all that jazz so i hope i like it! I also think the character, Rayne is maybe like 21 or so because of what shes allowed ya know. OO but so One reason i love scaryish books is because my grandmas house in California is supposedly haunted. I mean ive seen people and so has everyone else thats stayed in that house so honestly i think its pretty cool. One time I saw a little girl dressed in an old blue dress and she had braids and she was really white like snow white lol. The same night my ma told me she saw a little boy wearing onld ripped blue clothes it was insane! But ever since those experiences I tend to read about ghosts a whole lot. So hopefully this book is slightly satisfying. Also the book uses a lot of old phrases which is fun!!

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so the other english teacher recommended this book to me because i had said i liked dystopia stuff but i started it and i dont like the book. Its the book where love is a disease. I thought i would have found a book by now that i liked but i havent. I did figure out that in order for me to really enjoy the book i have to somehow relate to it. with house all the rage it was like i related to her mindset in a way but i didnt relate enough to completely love the book. I wanted to try something new but i didnt exactly love it, so im dropping this book. I really wanna read the oxygen thief but im not sure if anyone has it checked out right now. I tried decided to read a child called it over the break again because thats one of my favorite books ever! if i can find another book like that id be great. I also think in order for me to love a book it has to be so real to the point where every word you read, is personal. I like to be able to understand the book and connect to it heart to heart. the book im reading has a moral and i feel like i know it, probably too soon but still. Its like love comes natural and in the end it conquers all. I just need a book that i like because now its like im just reading because i have to, but i really want to enjoy something. Ya know.

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So at the start of this book I was hooked. I literally hate reading but i mean this one started pretty great. I honestly feel as all im okay with reading is memiors. This book to sum it up is like basically about a dad emotionally abusing his family, i dont know when itll get physical but im pretty sure it does. I really am liking it though. Like all books its starting off super slow but at least I found one book im trying not to put down. I was trying to find Diary of an Oxygen Thief but until i can get it im "stuck" with this. House Rules is a memoir and those books are honestly the only books i can think of that i would get even close to reading. I can never sit down and just read. This book couldve had a better hook but it didnt so nothing i can do about it. Im really starting to feel for the character though because she really tries to be happy, but like her dad doesnt help that and her mom really isnt acting how she should be with her. Like a mothers instinct is to do what makes your children happy but its like the mother has been so affected by this that she just cant say anything. I feel that a lot of people can relate to that because sometimes too much is happening and you just kind of give up because you just cant take it.

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I dropped the other book finally because it dragged, but now i started this one and I think i reached my goal. I wanted to be hooked on a book for the first time and I think this book is it. It started with her like going to a party, her best friend leaving her with a guy, telling him to get her home and he ends up raping her and leaving her. Then it goes to the nigh before. I read the first chapter and I literally could not put it down. Shes already being put through all of this as a result of her wrong doing and her best friend leaving her to a dumb boy. With this boy, it backs up how dumb boys literally are. Anyway this book is like me watching Law and Order in my head (which I know you dont like it but, im in love with.) Im only on page 17 because i just started it but Im about to read it right now because i had to put it down at a really good part. OMG ALSO the way Courtney Summers worded the beginning of the book is brilliant. I like really love it. It reminds me of a like deep suspenseful poem but its not. She had sentences that sounded like a scene straight from law and order. Point is im actually in love with this book. Its just so perfectly put together. The girl in the story kind of portrays that perfect social media celebrity but like something she went through. I dont know how to explain it besides like, shes the average teenager.

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So um now shes being bullied? So chapter 2 of the book starts 2 weeks before it all started. She walked into a locker room and theres that one average teenage girl that is super confident in her body, which by all means go for it, but dont put other people down because of it ya know. I think the way shes acting and treating people is just wrong because darn its hard to love yourself when others hate you ya know. Anyway, shes really confident and completely undresses in front of all the girls and then her and a few girls hide the clothes that belong to the main character whos name i keep forgetting. She took her clothes while she was in the shower and that makes me so sad. My moms best friends son, also my best f, his best friend at school, jumped off of the second layer bridge thing on the freeway. He was 13. It literally blows that, bullying can lead to suicide and really its hard to help it because it happens in secret sometimes. Like bullying will never stop and that kinda blows man. Anyways these few chapters were kinda just like, depressing because it happens. its not like this is fiction and it sucks ya know. Anyways then it started talking about how that popular girl looked at herself, and like dang i wish i had the confidence she does, i wouldnt act like her of course but like she loves herself ya know. People have the highest body expectations now which i think is ridiculous but i mean I dont like my body either so i mean its whatever. Point is, this ties in with bullying because think about it, some people are confident with their body, then people say rude things and it makes peoplehate themselves which leads to things like SUICIDE. This isnt okay omgggg.

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Im almost halfway through and honestly im really liking this book. Its getting to the rising action part when hes starting to get emotionally abusive not physical yet and like the mom isnt doing anything. So i feel a way about this. My dad is very emotionally abusive hes been better lately but he still basically hates my mom and I and its just like i can relate but i also cant. My dad is angry alcoholic and emotionally abuses women so me and my mom, and this book makes me feel a way like i said. Like i've been through this. This book is starting off really slow i'm hoping it eventually gets faster because its getting kind of boring. I get really tired and i lose interest in a book when it starts off this boring but I mean i want to like it because it seemed interesting. The book is kind of like a child called it but less physical than that book. But a Child Called It was the book that got me reading this one so im hoping i like it. The book is from a teenagers POV and she seems like shes my age honestly but im not sure. She thinks the same way girls like me think. I feel bad for the character but I also feel as if shes just whinny because she gets to travel the world with her dad. teens dont really get to do that. Shes spoiled but shes also not and her dad treats her horribly.

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The book just got real interesting. Its making points without like saying anything. like it was talking about the mom and how after a certain amount of time she had just given up and like surrendered to him but then on the other side after everything the little girl has gone through she did the opposite and she is done with it and she "fights back." I keep saying i can relate to this and thats so bad but like i can. After the age i was able to understand it to now, ive finally been fed up with my dad and my mom and i started fighting back and in a way it is affecting him and us and we hope itll get better ya know. There was a part where she went to her friends house and she drank and her friends parents found out about it and the friend was telling the main character how her parents would be chill about it and the main character wanted her parents. I said that so i can explain how i felt about that. No parents are perfect and a lot of the time they suck. I do but also dont want parents who care. I have a dad who doesnt but i have a mom who pushes me to do my absolute best in life because she wants me to strive. My dad is the complete opposite and it seems like hes raising me like his mom raised him (which is absolutely horrible.) im not gonna lie sometimes i am so jealous of other peoples parents because they just dont care as much in certain situations and other times they do ya know. I envy that sometimes.

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So her mom just sent her to a like home for girls like for the girls who are mentally unstable and like shes not actually insane. I brought it up because its like shes just trying to get away and ive tried doing the SAME thing. This reminds me of what my cousin did also. We havent had a great line of dads in our family and not very many moms either. Anyway so its not like the same thing but she resorted to drugs which is bad but its like anything you can do to get away. Im not saying it was right, but sometimes like in their position they felt it was right to get away, i see where theyre coming from when they did what they did but like its also wrong and you shouldnt do it but its in the moment. Shes lying to her dad about being like mentally unstable to escape and i see where shes coming from, But she also doesnt have the absolute worst life and she really doesnt have a solid reason to try and "escape.” My cousins had solid reasons and it just seems like shes being childish just because he wants her to have a solid good life. He does discourage her a lot though. He talked about how her life isn’t going anywhere because she likes to act, so in a way I do see where shes coming from but I also think shes just exaggerating a little bit.

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Recently there was a part of the book where, the little girls mom said she was going to divorce her dad and she didn't want to live like this, then later the mom said they were gonna try and work it out AND THIS HAPPENED TWICE. Okay so i said that because like okay my mom has said that about 10 times now but it always bites her and I in the ya know. The difference between her and my mom is, the reason my mom stays is because my little brothers actually want to have a dad and for her, the mom is being like controlled by the dad. Either way they're in an unhealthy relationship and they don't leave. Okay it makes me really mad when people think that abuse is always physical ya know. Like there's emotional abuse and that may not physically damage people as much but like it still damages them and puts them through stuff they might never get over ya know. I think people need to be more aware of that kind of abuse too. Anyway im only up to where the little girl went to DC for a semester and she told someone about her problems so they decided to pull strings to keep her for one more semester so she cant go home. They understand like whats going on you know. I relate to this book so much honestly, Ive taken so so so many pictures of parts that remind me of MY LIFE AHAHA.

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So i decided to put down the book because, i dont know, it kinda just dragged on a lot. The story line was really good but i mean it was just like the same stuff over and over again. So now im reading Dead to you and i just started it and i mean it seems pretty good. Its just about this boy who goes missing and is found years later and reunited with his family thats where it kinda starts like from his POV. The whole beginning reminds me of like how a criminal minds would end idk. Its really weird because like hes like out of place and he was kinda replaced by a little girl who doesnt even know who he is because shes so young. the parents just said she had a brother and all of a sudden hes back idk. Hes been out of place and its weird because even when you dont go missing you can feel out of place. This book kind of relates to House Rules because i mean they were both out of place, this book more but still. Ive had family go missing because ya know my cousins are dumb so i know how it feels in the moment. Difference is, my cousins go missing for maybe a few days at the longest. I really cant imagine how theyre feeling. OH OH and to make matters worse, the brother is like kind of mad because he was like "you were in second grade, you shouldve known better" and he really shouldve because they literally teach you not to talk to strangers so.

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So I watched a movie called "Star Struck" and its an oldish disney movie, like the ones that would come out at like 12 at night and ya know, and basically theres parts where Christopher Wilde is like fed up with the paparazzi and all the publicity and lies. The reason I said that is because in the book Ethan (the kid who was abducted) was asked to be interviewed and he like got a little anxiety because of the cameras and idk, the way celebrities feel about paparazzi is the same way he feels except the with celebrities its more positive, they asked him because its like sad. When you hear the word paparazzi you think of celebrities and how they don't get privacy but think about it in a different way and about how even the paparazzi will try to bring attention to negative events like abductions. The whole like thing just got me thinking about it. Anyway so like I said Ethan was "replaced" by a little girl named Gracie and and like recently IVE FELT LIKE THAT BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE IM A TEENAGER AND I OVER EXAGGERATE. Gracie still has no idea what going on with him. Her parents told her that he just went away and like hes having to go with it ya know. I feel bad for him but i know how it feels. As i said, my dad is an alcoholic and for literally so so long ive lied to my little brother about it, pretending he was tired or he had to work overtime, eventually my little brother did find out so I mean I have an idea Gracie is going to find out also. This story line is average im kind of bored of this book too.

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HE MET  A GIRL. so what happened was hes like finally going back to school and he ran into a girl he used to be close with. He saw her kissing another guy after school and its really sad idk. t reminds me of an average love story. I picked up yet another basic book. Im pretty sure in the end im gonna put this book down too. I just havent found that one book i cant put down. Either way its just dragging out the beginning but the book also has to set the scene so i guess its okay that it makes sense. Anyway, hes acting like hes in love with her but i mean what if before he was abducted he was in love with her. I think thats really cute. because okay i feel like its gonna end where he falls in love with her and she falls in love with him and he ends up eventually remembering everything that happened but i also feel like hes gonna run into the lady that kidnapped him because i mean any story that starts like this would normally end like that. I should start going for a different book genre because the books i end up with arent what i like. I might go for more idk love storys that actually start off not boring. I mean before anything i really do want to read diary of an oxygen thief except they dont have it at our library sooooo.