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From all three of my years of middle , this year stuck out the most. My first and last relationship, going through friends thinking everyone was my friend, figuring out my feelings and how to take control. I believe this was when I started to pay more attention to the world around me.

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Once I was accepted into my 'dream' school I was so excited but so nervous. Little did I know how hard it was gonna be but hey, i made it to my senior year.

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Before my freshman year began, my grandma planned to move to arizona to be with her sisters and our other family members down there. I was so heartbroken cause ever since birth I've always been living with her. Even when I wasn't living with her, I still when to see her and would go with her to run errands, I'd loved and cherish those moments so much.  After she left I couldn't wait to come visit and I told her I would call her everyday and she didn't believe me but I did and still do til this day.

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I can remember my first first day of high school, I was so nervous and I was texting my mom all day until I got out. But as I moved into the new year I made many new friends that I have as friends til this day. And I appreciate them so much, they've made a huge impact on me and I don't know how I can thank them enough. I love them so much.

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I went into freshman year knowing like two or three kids from middle school and I was so close with one of them you'd probably think we were best friends. But we ended up having a falling out because she accused me fo something dumb and I was not going to be around it. And from then on I just stopped talking to them and they did the same.

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My mom and dad have never seen eye to eye, they were always bumping heads for who knows why. Well I do but after freshman year I decided to move in with my dad thinking it would be good. It was for a while but then I started rethinking everything and ended up moving back in with my mom then stayed for a while snd moved again but from me doing that it has caused so much drama that I can't handle so I moved back with my mom.

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If you didn't know, I am Black and Native American. Im close the beginning of us its crazy. And what I mean by that is, my great-grandma and grandpa built up the reservation my grandmas is from, there were many homes there but now theres about three and are all surrounded by white people that may be racist but we don't know forsure. That doesn't make me scared though. I want to improve my reservaton and fix up what the generation before messed up and bring everyone together. This is significant in this time period because I realize how the generation before doesn't care as much and is letting the traditions die out.

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As you can see, family is important to me. I hold my loved ones close to my heart. Now me, my brother and cousin have seen stuff we weren't supposed to. And it was traumatizing but we came through it but due to those events, we split up and didn't talk to each other for so long, we lost connection. But thanks to social media, we reconnected and started talking more and even got to spend time with each other in Arizona with my grandma. So with COVID-19 we have spent a lot of time facetiming and texting each other and our bonds are better than ever. This means a lot to me because I've always felt like the big sister to them and I'm just a call away if they need anything.

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When this pandemic started, I wasn't really scared. My mom pulled me out of school so quick and didn't want me to go back and I was fine with that. I don't think I'd change the past, I had many adventures during the summer even with the pandemic. And opened up and got closer with loved ones. I cherish this moment because it made me realize we aren't here for long so just enjoy and obsorb the love and energy you have with friends and family, because tomorrow is not promised for any of us.

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I honestly am glad that it's finally here. But the fact that I'm going to have to start over is tiring. But I am so determined to finish and begin my life and career. Before the year started, I had a friend that I've known since middle school pass away. It was so sudden and I didn't realize how hurt I was by his passing but I was so hurt and couldn't wrap my mind around it.  After he passed, I would open Snapchat and just hope to see him post to make sure he's okay. He struggled with his own demons and mental health and from this, my intake on mental health has become so important. I want to help my friends and family, just let them know I am here and I will do the best I can to help.