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In chapter 4, the narrator describes Okonkwo’s thoughts on emotions by saying, “Even Okonkwo himself became very fond of the boy - inwardly of course. Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly, unless it be the emotion of anger. To show affection was a sign of weakness,- the only thing worth demonstrating was strength.” The boy is referring to Ikemefuna, who was taken from Mbaino prior. The panel below is taken from a comic describing the recipe for toxic masculinity, and it relates to Okonkwo because he is shown in chapter 4 and many other chapters to hide his emotions so he will not to be seen as weak.

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In chapter 7, it describes how Ikemefuna and Nwoye get along very well and Ikemefuna helps Nwoye to be more grown up and masculine. Nwoye takes great pride in doing “manly”chores around the house, but feigns annoyance when asked to do so by his father’s wives and “grumble aloud about women and their troubles.” Okonkwo is very pleased by this, and thinks, “... he was always happy when he heard him grumbling about women. That showed that in time he would be able to control his women-folk.” Okonkwo only thinks of women as objects, and is even proud that his son thinks the same. He refuses to think of women as any more than that, and his son’s future relationships will be affected due to these ideas being such a part of his upbringing.

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The Feast of the New Yam is upcoming in Umofia, and Okonkwo’s wives are excitedly preparing. On the other hand, Okonkwo is not enthuastic at all, as he would rather be farming and he is uncomfortable talking with others. Instead of being uncomfortable, though, Okonkwo gets mad and searches for an outlet. He finds it by asking who “killed this banana tree,” even though it is perfectly alive and only missing a few leaves. His second wife says so, and he proceeds to beat her mercilessly. He then decides to go hunting with his gun, and his wife who he just beat mutters about guns that never shoot because he has never used it before. He hears her, chases her with his gun and tries to shoot her. She escapes unharmed and he leaves. This whole situation is just Okonkwo refusing to let himself feel uncomfortable and using unhealthy ways to make himself feel better. He separates himself from the truth and tries to convince everyone he is simply angry, a much more masculine and powerful emotion.

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In this Ted Talk, Eldra talks about how toxic masculinity formed his life and lead him down the wrong path form a young age. This relates to the theme of interpretations of masculinity distancing oneself from reality, truth, and unity because his interpretation separated him from all of that. In chapters 1-15, we see many examples of how Okonkwo’s beliefs about masculinity lead him to impact his relationships with his family members and cause he himself to be unhappy, which shows how Eldra and Okonkwo’s experiences can be compared to one another.

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Eldra Jackson: How I unlearned dangerous lessons about masculinity

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In a powerful talk, educator Eldra Jackson III shares how he unlearned dangerous lessons about masculinity through Inside Circle, an organization that leads group therapy for incarcerated men. Now he's helping others heal by creating a new image of what it means to be a whole, healthy man.

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In the beginning the the chapter, drums and cannons announce the death of Ezeudu, the oldest man in the village. His death is significant as he held many titles and everyone knew of him, so everyone in the village attends his funeral. There are many rituals that happen throughout it and in one guns and cannons are fired. In the middle of said ritual, screams of horror and agony are heard. Okonkwos gun has exploded, and a shard had struck Ezeudu’s son. The book then says, “The crime was of two kinds, male and female. Okonkwo had committed the female, because it had been inadvertent.” The fact that the crime is split into genders shows how stereotypes of men and women are in every aspect of these people’s lives. Furthermore, the male type is violent and purposeful while the female type is accidental, showing how women are seen as almost unintelligent and most definitely below men.

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After Okonkwo kills his “son,” Ikemefuna, he doesn’t eat or sleep for several days. Throughout chapter eight he is being taken care of by his family, and he finally asks his wife to make him plantains after three days. His daughter, Ezinma, delivers them to him and says, “You have not eaten for two days... So you must finish this.” to which Okonkwo thinks “She should have been a boy.” Okonkwo likes Ezinma’s spirit and personality, but is unable to completely appreciate her because of his gender bias. This relates to the comic below because it is saying men will like anything if it is masculine. Okonkwo says he wishes his daughter was a boy several times in the book but fails to realize he can simply support her even with her femininity.

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In chapter two, the theme of masculinity and power structures is shown when it says, “At the end they decided, as everybody knew they would, that the girl should go to Ogbuefi Udo to replace his murdered wife.” This happens after Ogbuefi’s wife is killed by someone from Mbaino and the Umofia group decide to give them two choices, war or a young man and a virgin. The act of even asking for a “virgin” is already showing how this community views women as objects more than people. Then when it says “as everybody knew they would,” one can tell that this idea of women being objects is deeply rooted, and everyone accepts it without thought.