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[Editor's note: Don't miss our companion piece, "5 things to avoid saying to students suffering from anxiety."]

Understanding anxiety is something that educators, parents, doctors, therapists, students, sufferers, and non-sufferers are still working on. Just like anything else we attempt to understand, we will never get there if we don't, first, ask questions.

Yesterday, I explored five things I've heard and/or experienced being said to students suffering from anxiety that miss the mark in being supportive. Although parents, guardians, counselors, classmates, staff, and friends have great intentions, their comments are rarely productive. The statements they make are often judgmental and ignorant. The negative impact of saying the wrong thing to a student with anxiety might seem minimal-it's supposed to be the thought that counts-but the long-term effects can be severe.

I challenged educators to consider the same comments being said to someone with diabetes. The statements in that context reeked of absurdity. The challenge becomes for people to view a mental illness from the same lens as that of a physical illness. Diabetes is easy to understand; if you don't have insulin, you will not survive. No one diagnosed with diabetes is going to deny themselves the opportunity to be treated. Why, then, are individuals with mental illnesses expected to will themselves to happiness, i.e., healthy levels of neurotransmitters?

Understanding anxiety

Students with anxiety don't understand the physiology of their own brains, and therapists tend to work to reduce symptoms instead of explaining the underlying causes. When students become symptomatic, they become fearful, panicky. What's happening to me? Why do I feel this way? Not knowing the answers to these questions in the moment is a feeling of powerlessness unlike any other. And if those with anxiety don't understand it, how can we expect those who don't suffer to comprehend it?
Related: Student wellbeing & SEL are more important than you think
Fear from a lack of understanding mental illness has resulted in those with healthy physiology creating a stigma, and students with anxiety perpetuating it. It might not be well understood, or even make sense, but the students with the illness are the biggest culprits of the stigmatization of the disease. Trivializing the struggles associated with mental illness, even unintentionally, can reinforce the stigma. The pressure students put on themselves to "be okay," "just relax," and convince themselves that it's not worth getting so upset about is all encompassing. No one wants the student to be "normal" more than the student him/herself. This intense desire to not have anxiety increases the intensity of the illness. We don't need additional reasons to feel any more stigmatized than we already do.

How to speak to students suffering from anxiety

The responsibility of educators, parents, and guardians in scenarios where students are suffering from anxiety is to empower the students to learn the nuances of their disease and work with them to establish a comfortable, understandable, and fearless "normal." We can do this by making use of the following five statements when dealing with students in crisis.

1. "Can you describe to me how you're feeling?"
In most cases of anxiety or panic, it's obvious how the student is feeling. But remember, she is trying everything possible to not stand out. When we tell her to just relax or breathe, it communicates to the student that her symptoms are visible to everyone and creates a snowball effect.

Asking her to describe how she's feeling accomplishes two things: It helps her believe that her panic is not visible to everyone else and it empowers the student to speak for herself and have a sense of control over what she's experiencing.

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5 things to say to students suffering from anxiety

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Editor's note: Don't miss our companion piece, "5 things to avoid saying to students suffering from anxiety ."] Understanding anxiety is something that educators, parents, doctors, therapists, students, sufferers, and non-sufferers are still working on. Just like anything else we attempt to understand, we will never get there if we don't, first, ask questions.

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Middle and high school teachers can adapt several strategies used by their elementary school peers.

© shutterstock/rawpixel.com

After more than 12 years of teaching high school English, I experienced what some teachers might call a bit of a mid-career crisis. I craved professional development that didn't come in the form of a typical workshop. In an attempt to use other teachers' classrooms as my own personal curriculum, I decided to leave my job and take a position as an upper elementary instructional coach.

I had the opportunity to observe how effective elementary school teachers create safe, engaging, and productive learning environments for their students. Thinking back to my time teaching high school, I realized that many of these elementary school strategies could be used-with some modifications-with middle and high school students.

Brain Breaks and Focused Attention Activities

When I first witnessed an elementary teacher stopping a lesson so that students could jog in place for a minute, I thought it was just a strategy to keep kids from bouncing off the walls. But over time I realized that the teachers who incorporated frequent brain breaks throughout their lessons were able to keep their students on task for longer bursts of time than those who didn't.

It turns out that both children and teenagers benefit from a one- to three-minute mental and physical break every 30 minutes so that their brains can keep up with the academic and social demands of the classroom.

Taking deep breaths-with meditation apps like Calm-gives students an opportunity to focus on their breathing and harness their energy.

Time-lapse videos (such as nature or food videos) sustain students' attention so they can refocus on learning tasks.

A game of thumb war or rock-paper-scissors gives students an opportunity to partner up for a fun, no-prep activity.

While jogging in place isn't always an option in a room full of teenagers, here are some focused attention activities that do work:

Morning Meeting and More

Morning meetings, student jobs, and other cute elementary classroom traditions are not just for fun. I found that elementary school teachers who used these approaches-which emphasize values like community, respect, and responsibility-had a far easier time implementing academic curricula than those who didn't.

I also observed that the students who didn't appear to feel safe, heard, or seen in the classroom didn't willingly participate in workshops, centers, or other activities-indicating a need for the teacher to reach out or make changes in classroom management.

Set and model clear expectations for kind, constructive student language and behavior. Anticipate, model, and explain behavioral norms before negative incidents occur.

Greet students by name at the door at the start of each class period so they feel seen.

Create an I Wonder wall where students respond to thought-provoking questions. This helps students feel heard and validated. You might designate I Wonder Wednesdays, or mix it up with Thankful Thursdays, Motivational Mondays, etc.

Here are some ways middle and high school teachers can create safe learning communities in their classrooms:

The Value of Manipulatives

Math manipulatives, such as colorful tiles and base 10 blocks, are found in many elementary classrooms. These manipulatives help break down abstract concepts into smaller parts so students can play around with and test different scenarios and solutions to complex problems.

As concepts in math, science, and the humanities get more complex, providing middle and high school students with a space to break down and manipulate abstract ideas allows them to create their own well-supported, logical arguments and proofs.

Online simulators-like Gizmos-allow math and science students to observe, test, graph, and manipulate hypotheses.

Concept maps allow students to visually assess relationships between concepts, problems, and ideas. Once students create maps-using software like Bubbl.us, Coggle, or Padlet-they can make arguments and observations about information.

Here are two ways middle and high school teachers can bring the benefits of manipulatives to their lessons:

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Middle and high school teachers can adapt several strategies used by their elementary school peers. © shutterstock/rawpixel.com After more than 12 years of teaching high school English, I experienced what some teachers might call a bit of a mid-career crisis. I craved professional development that didn't come in the form of a typical workshop.

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Rita Pierson

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Every kid needs a champion | Rita Pierson | TED

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Positive Reinforcement Defined

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Minimizing Disruptive Behavior in the Classroom

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Minimizing Disruptive Behavior in the Classroom

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From page 6 of the Teaching Professor

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Respond to behavior

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for students to complete

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VISUAL SUPPORTS

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The Aggressive Child

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Excerpt from: Practical Magic (Behavior Modification Help)

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Managing Severe Behavi

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Preventing Meltdowns

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Positive Reinforcement

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The Big Bang Theory - Sheldon Trains Penny