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Brown and Beige Modern Revolutionizing Fashion Article Page Document-1

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Black and White Simple Creative Quote Typography Newspaper Poster

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Respective text writers specified in the paper,

Presentation by Arthur

Ad drawing by Julian

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Newsletter - Aime, Dridah, Roger and Shortall

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Newsletter - Aime, Dridah, Roger and Shortall

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Newsletter - Aime, Dridah, Roger, Shortall

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This object was found yesterday in the middle of the road. When discovered by a nearby pedestrian, it was still in motion, moving slowly, at around 2km/h along the sidewalk. It’s very black and appears to be made of a plastic-like material. Considering its circular shape as well as the complex, never previously seen mechanism we have reasons to think that it’s a very important part of some kind of a vehicle. After consulting with an expert in extraterrestrial means of transportation suspicions have arose about this object coming to earth from another galaxy. “This is an unprecedented discovery” - expert says - “we think it came from another galaxy.”.

If you have any information regarding the type of vehicle it’s commonly used in or know someone that might be the owner, we urge you to contact us as soon as possible.

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New toast rack and pill container looking for a NEW owner.

This could be YOU

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New toast rack and pill container looking for a NEW owner.

This could be YOU

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This toast rack, coming directly from the UK, is the most useful and creative invention of the century. As you can see in the image on the top left, this toast rack can hold up to six of your favorite toasts. Just fresh and smokey out of the toaster.

You don’t need it you say? Looking for something more useful for you on a daily basis? This pill container can hold up to 7 stacks of different pills, one for each day of the week. Well divided, each weekday’s initial well written on the top. That way, any person using it won’t get confused. An amazing christmas gift for any grandparents in your family. It is exactly what they need.

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Latest groundbreaking archeological discovery : 1 peruvian artefact with a striking ressemblance with "C'est pas sorcier"'s Jamy's glasses.

Last week famous archeologist and lowkey controversed treasure thief Jones Bamed found a golden idol in a peruvian archeological site. This site, thought to be an ancient inca temple, was already the main topic of ancient inca facebook chanels because of the strange murals recently discovered. Mr Bamed managed to snatch the idol from a hidden room filled with traps and ror once decided to bring it back to his fellow specialists for an in dept analysis.

Turns out the golden idol looked a lot like a modern truck which led Mr Bamed to think it was a fake. But after carbon datation it appeared that it was a legitimate inca idol. Moreover it looked like something was stuck inside, more precisely the idol was cast around it.

As you probably guessed the mysterious object was the mysterious pair of glasses and the idol was broken open to reveal it. And after an intern recognised it from the famous french show you can believe everyone's brain was melting out their ears.

From there research showed wearing the glasses granted one deep understanding of the world around and incredible ability to explain it to others. It may also cause acute schizophrenia, talking to voices called "little voice" and Marcel, some concluded that the glasses were haunted by said voices. 2 lives were losts for these informations and the glasses remains widely mysterious. Also the research is halted due to the glasses disapearing, main suspect is Jones Bamed. Please send any information relevant to the case.

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For sale! The end of a rake, said to have belonged to queen Cleopatra. This mysterious object is old, worn, and full of history. Perfect for collectors, history lovers, or anyone who likes gardening. Legend says Cleopatra used to grow weeds with it capable of sending you to another world. Is it her or does the rake have magical power ? Who knows ? Whoever wants to try it, I am doing a fair price of 200€. Discount for the one who wants to exchange Cleopatra’s magical weed for the rake.

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999 million years after the extinction of humanity, once earth finally got back to its primordial state, an unidentified ship orbited the blue planet and landed on what used to be known as Epstein island. Nothing could have prepared the crew for what they were going to witness.

As they scouted the beach and attempted to pitch their equivalent of a tent in the sand, a shovel struck a solid object.

It was a black and silver device with a few buttons on top, and what seemed to be a glass circle on the front. One of the explorers pressed a button, was instantly blinded by the flash, and sadly died on the spot.

After centuries studying human civilisation, they finally identified the device as a film camera.

Millions of years later, they successfully managed to access the pictures. It was only then that they truly understood why the extinction of humanity was considered the greatest blessing to ever befall the universe.

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Are you too relaxed? Is your blood pressure alarmingly normal? Are you tired of feeling "relaxed" and "competent"? Do you find yourself having too much free time and not enough existential dread?

I have the cure.

Introducing the "stainless steel headache." It’s just two rings and a triangle. How hard could it be? That’s what they all say. Within five minutes, you’ll be convinced that the metal is actually melting and re-forming when you aren’t looking.

• No Batteries Required: Powered entirely by your own tears of frustration.

• Eco-Friendly: Made of metal, so it won’t break when you inevitably throw it across the room.

• Portable: Take your existential crisis on the go! Fits right in your pocket.

CAUTION: May cause spontaneous loss of sleep, and an intense distrust of the basic laws of physics .

PRICE: 5 €(or best offer, please just take it out of my house).

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We found this thing that looks like an early 20th-century machine part, lying on train tracks somewhere near a station in Ermont. We don't know where it came from; at first we thought that it broke loose from a train that recently passed by, but upon taking it to a research team working with the SNCF, it doesn't look like anything from a train currently in use. It may have been some sort of light, though we have no idea how to turn it on.

Unfortunately, this being on the tracks did mean several nearby regional train lines had to be partly interrupted until the object could be safely removed from the tracks.

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New revolutionary music instrument for orchestra coming early 2026 !

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New revolutionary music instrument for orchestra coming early 2026 !

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Last week has seen saw one of the greatest leaps in the history of orchestral music since the invention of the fiddle.

The greatly reknown ed luthier Stradivarius juste released a brand new and never seen before instrument.

With twice the key scale of the triangle, this new invention will rewrite its role among the other percussion instruments drums and in the entire orchestra.

This new revolutionary instrument still remains unnamed for the moment, more informations about the instrument and its price will come along during spring as communicated by the company, and is bound to becomeing the new must-have in any classical and baroque orchestra.

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Tired of mixing up all of your legs when you wake up in the morning? Having to purchase new legs each month to replace your expired ones? Don’t worry. The global transition to artificial legs has shook shaken us all up. With the new Legkit you can end your struggle, keep all of your legs in the same place, and make them last longer! You won’t ever waste time searching for your athletic leg when you go for a run, or having to spend your savings on new legs. You just have to fill the bucket up with water, put in your bloodcell fish, and place your collection of legs looking up to facilitate the circulation of the fish that will provide artificial blood and keep your legs from expiring! And all for the mere price 200 cybercoins!

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Last weekend as I was riding the RER B in a drunken state, I found these objects : a seashell fossil and a metal needle box, in a dimly lit carriage that smelled of melancholy. My theory as to how these objects came to be is as follows :

During a particularly long delay -most likely at Gare du Nord- the bacteria in the train evolved into crustacean life forms that were advanced enough to manufacture the needle box. A mass extinction event must have wiped them out off. Their remains fossilised rapidly in the bizarre tunnel atmosphere.

B. Kunur

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This very unusual egg has been was seen falling from the sky by a Mongolian farmer last week. Thanks to his extraordinary strength, the farmer opened the egg and found this very beautiful rock in the interior. In the opinion of the scientists of the national rock’s laboratory of Mongolia this rock is one of the rarest natural rocks that can be found on earth. The farmer took the decision to sell this egg in auction.

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Selling a measuring tape :

Today in the RER B, I found this measuring tape on one of the seats. It did not seem to belong to anyone there and I really wanted to sit down, so I put it in my pocket and forgot about it for the rest of the trip. When I got back home, it was too late to give it to the "Lost and found", so I used it for a while.

It is quite handy : it easily fits in one's pocket, can measure up to 3 meters and even shows the equivalent in inches which is really helpful at times. Overall, I think this fancy object could benefit anyone. I am only selling it because of the guilt coming from its back story.

If you are interested, contact me at thisisnotamail@gmail.com so we can discuss the price.

Julian Fusil

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ADVERTISEMENT:

In need for a human male that’s customised to your liking? You’re in the right place!

We sell them in thousands, each one different from the other (so you can’t risk seeing the same model at your neighbour’s!)

You can buy one of our pre-made ones, fully functional. It can help you in all your daily life activities, whether be it cooking, cleaning, teaching your kids or helping them with their schoolwork at home. Or if you want him to accompany you to your events, parties, meetings, all anything you can think of, he can do.

You can choose one (or more) from our catalog or if there isn’t any that could meet your standards; we have the option to customise both his looks and his personality.

All of this for a shockingly cheap price of 21 Millions!

We ship everywhere around the world, even to islands! Buy fast, we only have a limited stock of 6767 copies for the whole world.

Contact us on:

human.for.sale@jmail.com

or 04 20 69 67 41

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The Product: Blue Sky Meth
"Respect the Chemistry."
You’ve seen the cheap, cloudy knock-offs. You’ve seen the amateur beadwork from people who don’t know their facets from their fire-polishing. But you? You want the purity.
These aren't just beads. These are high-yield, high-clarity crafting elements produced with a level of precision that would make a Nobel laureate weep. Each bag contains a curated mix of "Blue Sky" rondelles, deep-sea cobalt spheres, and iridescent accents—all sorted with a 99.1% purity rate.
Why Source From Us?
The Signature Blue: A hue so vibrant, it’s practically a trademark.
Professional Grade: Made by the greatest cook in all Albarqurque
Discrete Packaging: Small, lightweight bags designed for easy transport and storage.
Whether you're looking for a gift or you want it for personal use, I assure you the best prices and experience on the market.

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Yesterday, archeologists found a box that might completely change our vision of the world. This box contains a small wooden figurine of what appears to be a woman. For security reasons it has been prohibited by international law to publicly say the exact location where it was found. However, the lead archeologist gave us a very precise area of where it was found : somewhere between Canada and China.

Apparently there is strong evidence that this figurine does not behave like any other object. It is thought that this figurine can actually trap the soul of anyone. Therefore you could do anything with them, from controlling their mind to reshaping their body.

The story of its creation is less mysterious than its functionality. This figurine coincides with the story of a witch who transformed herself into this figurine.

The USA for international safety reasons seized this object so that no one can use it against anyone. We certainly know they aren't going to use it against any other country.

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🦕 Amazing! This New Dinosaur Changes History Forever!

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🦕 Amazing! This New Dinosaur Changes History Forever!

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Yesterday, a team of paleontologists was excavating a site in Southeast Asia. It seemed like a routine day, until one team member uncovered what appeared to be a fossilized shark tooth.

At first glance, the discovery seemed unremarkable. However, after careful analysis, researchers determined that the fossil did not belong to a shark at all. Instead, it was identified as the tooth of a previously unknown species of dinosaur. The team has named it Dentiveclusaurus (meaning “old-toothed lizard”).

So what makes this long, blade-like tooth so extraordinary?

According to preliminary reports, microscopic structures preserved in the surrounding rock show striking similarities to biological components found in modern humans. Some researchers now speculate that this discovery could radically reshape our understanding of evolution.

Could humans share a deeper evolutionary link with dinosaurs than previously thought?

Unsurprisingly, conspiracy theorists have erupted online, claiming that “the Illuminati knew all along.” While mainstream scientists remain cautious, debate continues to intensify.

In an even more mysterious twist, several members of the research team reportedly went missing shortly after publishing their findings.

Coincidence?

We will continue to follow this developing story.