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Funny Joke by Hania Liść, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15, Konin, Poland - teacher: Wioleta Antecka

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Funny Joke by Hania Liść, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15, Konin, Poland - teacher: Wioleta Antecka

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What does do with nail in the ear? Listens to metals

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Don΄t mess with me...

I know karate,judo,tae kwon do,jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words!

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My mum said follow your dreams,so I went back to bed!

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I entered my house and my mother told me that the house was filled with light and I closed the windows so that we wouldn't go astray.

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What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks– I'll never part with me!

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The average sleep a person needs is " 5 minutes more!!! "

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What kind of exercise lazy people do? Diddly-squats

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-And my mother used to tell me
-What did she tell you?
-I don't know since i didn't listen to her😂

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Giving this note with all these wonderful words to my friend!!!!!

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My friend wanted to eat a crepe so much, so i made it for her!!!

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Nadia, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15 Konin, Poland, teacher Wioleta Antecka

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Nadia, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15 Konin, Poland, teacher Wioleta Antecka

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baking with granny

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Maria ,Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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Maria ,Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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- Mum did you tell me my brother is an angel?
- Yes
-False! I throw him from the window and he didn't fly! 🤣😂

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In a bakery:

-Sorry, is this gluten free?
No, it cost money.

In a hospital:

-Hi I came for the doctor.
Wich one?
No, I want the regular one.

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Peter , Primary school of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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Peter , Primary school of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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It is yellow and carries bricks?
What is it?
The school bus

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Joanna, Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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Joanna, Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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When my mom  drops something
- Don't worry. It's only an old thing.
When I drop something.
My mom
- silly girl!! What did you do! 😱😠

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Peter K., Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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Peter K., Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece 

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Why can't someone  die in the living room?
Because it is the LIVING room!

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Themis, Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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Themis, Primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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A burger I made for my dad.yum:)

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Kostas and John, primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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Kostas and John, primary School of Pamfila Lesvos Greece

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Would you like a cookie🍪

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Harris 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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Harris 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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There are two tomatoes and they want to cross the street. The first crosses the street safely. The second is run over by a car. The first tomato says "Come on Ketchup!!!".

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Kajetan  sp 15 Wioleta Antecka. Joke:  Me: I want to take a trip
Bank account: I highly suggest it be a trip to work
2.Mother: Did you enjoy tour first  day
Girl:First day?Do you mean I HAVE to go back tomorrow

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Why did the hen Cross the road ? Because IT has got a reason

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Emi and Dori Szent Gellért Általános Iskola Pázmánd

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Emi and Dori Szent Gellért Általános Iskola Pázmánd

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My wife and I lived happily for 20 years. Then we met.

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That moment, when you find the perfect avocado at the supermarket

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-Tanár:Vető Katalin

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-Tanár:Vető Katalin

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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Two Goldfish:

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:

Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?

Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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Dorka, Szent Gellért általános iskola-tanár: Katalin Vető

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I love funny short jokes, everyone does. Here the funniest "smart" jokes I think you enjoy.

Funny short jokes make you laugh out loud, most times uncontrollably. That is exactly the kind of jokes that we have for you. Dirty, clean and short jokes that will crack you up. Some might sound stupid and lame but within, you find the humour that you need.

Sure, it's fun to share a good laugh. But did you know it can actually improve your health? " Laughter activates the body's natural relaxation response. It's like internal jogging, providing a good massage to all internal organs while also toning abdominal muscles," says Dr. Gulshan Sethi, head of cardiothoracic surgery at the Tucson Medical Center and faculty at the University of Arizona's Center for Integrative Medicine.

Laughter is strong medicine. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. By seeking out more opportunities for humor and laughter, though, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness-and even add years to your life.

These funny short jokes are guaranteed to make you crack a smile! Share them with others and brighten their day up a little, because laughter is the best medicine!

Also, funny movie quotes are sure to crack you up.

Funny Short Jokes

This is what happens when thousands of people come together and share their funniest short jokes. I will never forget some of these, and you better believe my friends are hearing them. So. Funny.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaah!

What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

"This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."

Also read these amazing stories about friendship.

There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it.

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, "Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh". The next whale says, "Shut up, Steve. You're drunk."

How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

I hate Russian dolls...so full of themselves

What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.

"I stand corrected," said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle.

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!

Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say 'yes' or 'no'): K.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" *whack*

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

A baby seal walks into a club.

My grandad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame.

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.

It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.

There is no doubt that funny birthday wishes will put a smile on someone's face on their birthday.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

There's no "I" in Denial.

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks "How do you drive this thing?"

Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Two penguins walk into a bar... which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's pretty cheesy.

Let funny nicknames will bring joy and help you show how much they mean to you.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care.

Dry erase boards are remarkable.

What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets.... then it hit me.

PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

Have I told you this deja vu joke before?

Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.

Learn sign language, it's very handy.

I started a band called 999 Megabytes - we haven't gotten a gig yet.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be...

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

I didn't know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.

Clever Short Jokes

What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.

What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!

What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1.

Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing!

What do you call bears with no ears? B.

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper!

Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food!

What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!

I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.

What is sticky and brown? A stick!

How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!

Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!

How do you throw a space party? You planet!

Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I hate Russian dolls... they're so full of themselves!

Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out!

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

What are a shark's two most favorite words? Man overboard!

If we shouldn't eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.

It's cleaning day so naturally, I've already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison!

Here, I bought you a calendar. Your days are numbered now.

Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed.

What did one plate say to his friend? Tonight, dinner's on me!

Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.

I tried to sure the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.

Why doesn't the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I have many jokes about rich kids-sadly none of them work.

What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

How do trees get online? They just log on!

Some people think prison is one word...but to robbers it's the whole sentence.

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Where does the sheep get his hair cut? The baa baa shop!

Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!

I never make mistakes. ...I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long? Eclipse it!

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

"This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets... then it hit me.

"I stand corrected," said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

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142 Funny, Too Clever Short Jokes That Will Get You A Laugh! - BayArt

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I love funny short jokes, everyone does. Here the funniest "smart" jokes I think you enjoy. Funny short jokes make you laugh out loud, most times uncontrollably. That is exactly the kind of jokes that we have for you. Dirty, clean and short jokes that will crack you up.

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Eleftheria- 4th Primary school of Karpenissi- Greece(Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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Eleftheria- 4th Primary school of Karpenissi- Greece(Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking!!!!

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Peter T., 4th Primary school of Karpenissi- Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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Peter T., 4th Primary school of Karpenissi- Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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The is one guy driving a BMW and another guy driving a Mercedes bumps into the back of his car!
The first guy says " Are you blind?"
And the aother answers "Why? didn't I get you?"

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Κaterina.R 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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Κaterina.R 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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A Chinese man goew to the kiosk:
- Ya tsi yon Coca-Cola!
And hiw kiosk answerw:
An icy what?

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tok-tok
-Who is it?
-Mary.
-Mary who?
-Merry Christmas!

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Fedon, 4th Primary School of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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Fedon, 4th Primary School of Karpenissi, Greece (Maria Tsiamtsiouri)

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I HELP DOGS WITH WATER AND FOOD

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vasiliki 4th primary school of Karpenissi,Grecce(Maria Tsiamtsiouri ) 

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vasiliki 4th primary school of Karpenissi,Grecce(Maria Tsiamtsiouri ) 

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Someone goes to the doctor and says" Doctor, it hurts everywhere i touch. Whati have; Doctor says "Do not worry you have a broken finger!

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Malou and Antriana-Primary School of Pamfila,Lesvos,Greece

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Malou and Antriana-Primary School of Pamfila,Lesvos,Greece

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Four people go in a lake with crocodiles, one Greek, one German, one African and one Swiss.
The crocodile eat the Greek , the German and the Swiss but doesn't eat the african.
The African says: Why didn't eat me?
The crocodile says: because my mum doesn't let me eat chocolate.

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"You are my best friend!!!" and she smiles :)

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i always help my classmate and give him a pencil when he forgets his pencil.

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Vassilia 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece ( Maria  Tsiamtsouri )

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Vassilia 4th primary school of Karpenissi, Greece ( Maria  Tsiamtsouri )

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Child translated me into English <<The cat fell into the water and drowned ...

Very easy lady. << The cat blum in the water,gly,gly,gly no more miaw, miaw

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Antonina, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15, Konin, Poland - teacher: Dorota Krzyżak

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Antonina, Szkoła Podstawowa nr 15, Konin, Poland - teacher: Dorota Krzyżak

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There is actually something that makes me happy every morning, my animals - frogs. They're so unusual and rare creatures. After I wake up I am trying to find them in their terrarium. They have their favourite places to rest but sometimes they hide and it is really difficult to see them. I look for about few minutes and all of the sudden they are. It makes me smile when they look at me with their big and dark eyes and this funny froggy look.

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The cats ate the food I gave them very quickly

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I help my cousin who had an accident on his leg! ❤️

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I make my brother feel good because he was sad that he got a bad mark in maths!!!

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we made spinach to our best friend who is sick

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How many months of the year have 28 days?

Answer: All of them! Every month has *at least* 28 days.

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It belongs to you, but your friends use it more. What is it?

Answer: Your name.

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by Agiasos junior high school students

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what happens if tuna is washed? Washington

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what happens if tuna is washed? Washington

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They tried to dress a baby in booties, but the baby did not wear it.. because the baby was antipathetic

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They tried to dress a baby in booties, but the baby did not wear it.. because the baby was antipathetic

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What happens if tuna is washed? ?Washington :)

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What happens if tuna is washed? ?Washington :)

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They tried to dress a baby in booties, but the baby did not wear it.. because the baby was antipathetic

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They tried to dress a baby in booties, but the baby did not wear it.. because the baby was antipathetic

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THE ELEPHANTA : Why are you crying?B : The elephant is dead.A : Was he your pet?B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

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THE ELEPHANTA : Why are you crying?B : The elephant is dead.A : Was he your pet?B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

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THE SIGNTeacher: Why are you late, son?Student: Because of the sign on the road.Teacher: What type of a sign.Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”.

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THE SIGNTeacher: Why are you late, son?Student: Because of the sign on the road.Teacher: What type of a sign.Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”.