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Memories of Iran, collected in 2010, with photos.

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Memories of Iran, collected in 2010, with photos.

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A random photo of the Kermanshah bazaar.

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"A few early memories and stories from the holiday season in Kermanshah and Hamadan.

These first two are stories that were told to me.

On December 18, 1924, my parents had a big party. The guests were surprised to find out that the next day Dr. Packard came to the house and I was born.

A year later, when I was one, I had just learned to say “look at this.” I kept pointing at things, no doubt including the Christmas tree with its real candles, and saying “look at this, look at this.” Finally I got so excited that I said “look at this that.” I was told this story over and over again until I got tired of hearing it.

The tree was some kind of plastic [edit from Ann, I suspect it was a German goose feather tree] with clips for real candles. It stood about three feet high on a table, and you could unfold the branches. We made paper chains for the tree and we had a little bit of tinsel that we hung carefully on the branches. We also had a couple of glass birds, that were very breakable and, despite our care, finally gave way, and some glass balls that we also took down carefully and carefully wrapped and always broke. After Christmas, we had to take each strand of tinsel down and put it away neatly to be used the next year. Somewhere there is a photo of that tree.

On Christmas Eve we would put the candles in the clips and light them. We always sang a carol while we lit the tree, but didn’t leave it on for long because the little candles burned down so quickly. I wondered later where all those candles came from. Had my parents brought hundreds with them when they came or perhaps were they sold in the bazaar?

I remember later, when I started collecting creches, that I thought they were much nicer than Christmas trees and perhaps I would skip Christmas trees and just display creches at the holidays. I didn’t do that, of course.

There was never a big display of gifts. We would each have one present from Mom and Dad--always a book. We children would make gifts for each other. I remember a lot of pen wipes and pincushions--things you could easily make with little stacks of felt. For my birthday one year I got a whole set of nature encyclopedias. I remember standing by the tree as each child brought up one volume until I had a whole set of twelve. I started a little library in a closet with those books, adding more until I had about 40. They were carefully shelved in alphabetical order and I made cards for them so people could sign them out and bring them back. But I do remember wishing that perhaps I’d gotten something a little more frivolous.

I remember a big Christmas party in Kermanshah. The people from the consulate were invited and all the other missionary families. The women wore long dresses and Dad was in his tux. The children were banished upstairs but we stood around leaning over the railing. People were singing carols and I remember one woman screeching as she hit the high notes on “Angels we have heard on high.” I thought to myself that it was not very beautiful, just very loud.

A little bit about the house in Kermanshah. Uncle Ing had designed it and Mother had specifically asked that the stairs go down to the back hall rather than the front so people wouldn’t see her hurrying downstairs to greet them. There was a big kitchen and a big dining room, which is where the Christmas tree was, and two parlors, one for meetings and the other for family. The stairs didn’t have a landing but went straight down, which made for great fun riding down the banister--not that we were encouraged to do so. There was a big brass knocker on the front door. When someone knocked the houseboy would let them into the formal parlor, giving Mom time to race downstairs and straighten her hair before going in to greet them.

Thanksgiving dinners were communal in Hamadan and Kermanshah. Boards were set up over sawhorses and covered with kalamkars. Everyone brought their best china and silverware. After the dinner we had to sort it all out again. I remember Mother saying it would be much easier just to use the church’s dishes, but people liked to use their good things and didn’t have many opportunities to do so.

One more note about libraries. The school in Hamadan did not have a library but everyone had a study filled with shelves and books were among everyone’s prized possessions. Dad had a huge personal library. When you needed to look something up that you couldn’t find at home, you’d go to the other missionaries and ask if they had something on the topic."

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Making potato salad for tomorrow's salad luncheon at church.  Dressed in her funeral outfit because she's going to one at 3:00. Then dinner at Bass Lake. She also finished reading a book this morning, went out to breakfast with a friend, and updated her obituary.

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Her perfect obituary.  She wrote it, of course, and kept it updated.  

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Her perfect obituary.  She wrote it, of course, and kept it updated.  

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The benediction at the service committing her ashes to the memorial garden at First Presbyterian. 

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The benediction at the service committing her ashes to the memorial garden at First Presbyterian. 

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Her recipe for dolmas (stuffed grape leaves)

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Her recipe for dolmas (stuffed grape leaves)

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Hadiji's dolma recipe, via Miriam Hilton :

I LB ground lamb
1 chopped onion
1 clove garlic, chopped or pressed
1/2 cup raw rice
2 TBS catsup (the secret ingredient in Turkey!)
2 tsp. dried dill weed
salt and pepper
40 grape leaves
Olive oil and lemon juice or Italian dressing to cover.

Wrap 2tbs filling in each grape leaf. Pack closely in 1 1/2 quart casserole or in two pie pans greased with olive oil. Pour lemon juice and oil or Italian dressing over till it shows on the top. Cover tightly with heavy plates or reversed lid in casserole.
Place on edged cookie sheet (It always boils over) and bake for 1 hour at 350.

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Mom at the Lahti cottage--the walker was the perfect place to sit.

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Mom at the Lahti cottage--the walker was the perfect place to sit.

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Thinking how much Mom enjoyed the pontoon rides on Bass Lake.   

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Thinking how much Mom enjoyed the pontoon rides on Bass Lake.   

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Preparing for Church World United World Fellowship Day, May 1, 2015.  She was 90. 

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Preparing for Church World United World Fellowship Day, May 1, 2015.  She was 90. 

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Your periodic update on my mother's schedule.  Today is the annual Church Women United May World Friendship Day.  The good women in my mom's circle at church (average age 92, though I may exaggerate a bit) groaned when she announced that they were going to have to host it again this year because the Lutherans said they couldn't.  But don't worry, my mom said, I'll do everything.  So she got the publicity out to the local media and the local churches, rounded up a speaker, and started making phone calls to be sure people would show up and other people would provide rides to those who can't get themselves there.  Last Sunday she spent, by her calculations, eight hours trying to balance the checkbook for her treasurer's report.  But none of that was yesterday.

Yesterday she boiled the eggs for deviled eggs and got a load of wash hung up before she talked to me at 8.  At 9 she was off to Tai Chi with Kay Harper.  Then Kay brought her home so she could grab her car and go grocery shopping (for salads for today and dinners Monday and Tuesday night) before prayer group at church at 11:15.  Home a little after noon where she left most of the groceries in the car except for the potatoes which she put on to boil for potato salad before her 1:00 dentist appointment. (She told the hygienist she looking forward to getting off her feet and the hygienist promised to drag out the cleaning at long as possible).
Back home at two with Jeffrey Carrier to help unload groceries, which he did while she cut things up for potato salad before heading off to her nail appointment at 2:30 (she pays her manicurist with a check).  Then back to church to help set the tables for today's luncheon.  Then home by six for dinner with a couple of her students then back down to church at seven to help with the AAUW book sale until nine.  Then back home to peel the eggs and make a black bean salad and a batch of brownies.  She finally crashed at midnight, but not before putting the stuffing for the deviled eggs into the cookie press so she could pipe them into the egg whites this morning.  And she's making a shrimp and pasta salad this morning too, before bringing everything down to church by 10.
TL:DR  1 trip to the senior center for tai chi, 1 to the grocery store, 1 to the dentist, 1 to the nail salon, and 3 to church.  Cooked a bunch of stuff too.  Did good works for various good causes.

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Earl and Miriam Hilton with best friends Art and Phyllis Pennell.  c. 1964.

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Dee Heard and Pat Pellet visiting mom at Brookridge.  January 2020.  

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Pat Pellet's remarks at the memorial service.  

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Pat Pellet's remarks at the memorial service.  

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(Video is Pat ringing the dinner bell at Arch St.)
Miriam and First Presbyterian Church, Marquette

The Hiltons came to Marquette in the `1950’ ‘s.  Although I didn’t live in Marquette then, I imagine that as soon as she unpacked her belongings and got her family settled in, Miriam baked some sticky buns, walked them over to church on Sunday morning and shared them during coffee hour.

She was certainly “Queen of the Kitchen”, First Presbyterian’s kitchen especially, peeling potatoes for the church Thanksgiving Dinners, as well as making cranberry relish, and cooking an unheard of number of turkeys.  There was lots of help and laughter, but Miriam was in the kitchen from beginning until clean-up was done.  There were themed cakes Miriam backed every  month to celebrate Lunch Bunch birthdays.  And who could forget Christmas caroling for “Friends At Home” with chili and soup at her Arch Street home afterwards.  Somehow she always produced an endless supply of Christmas cookies and other treats for friends and church and the Presbyterian Women’s Holiday bazaar.   So many memories. And don’t forget the hot cross buns for Easter coffee hour.

God blessed Miriam with many talents and she used them all-she taught, she wrote, she spoke and told wonderful stories, and sang, and she shared.

Remember her collection of creches from all over the world?    She knew the history of each one and loved to share it.  When she moved from Arch Street she invited her friends to choose one to take home.  First Presbyterian is honored to have enough of her creches to continue to display them in our cases during the Christmas season.

Matthew 25 says “for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me.”   “As you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me.” Does this sound like Miriam?

Miriam frequently worked the intake shift when First Presbyterian hosted Room At the Inn, talking with and getting to know the stories of the men and women who were homeless. She cooked dinner for them and stayed to eat and talk with the guests.  What a role model.

Miriam was involved in starting Marquette Adult Day Services and volunteered for over 20 years even when it outgrew the space at First Presbyterian and moved to a larger facility.  The guests loved doing Tai Chi with Miriam.

She got to know new church members and wrote about them for our newsletter.  She wrote thank you notes and birthday cards and notes of encouragement which will forever be treasured.

Miriam was a pillar of the community and of the church, using her wisdom, common sense, and love in her leadership positions.   At First Presbyterian she became an elder and then a deacon and a Stephen’s Minister, walking beside a person offering support.  And she was active in Rebecca Circle, studying and discussing lessons from the Bible.  She was active in Church Women United.  She sang in the church chancel choir for years and even learned to play the bells in the bell choir in her later years.

As she aged, she kept going.  She would go to her morning church meeting, eat the sandwich which she brought from home, offering to share it with church staff, take a nap on the couch in the parlors, and wake up in time for her afternoon church meeting!

Miriam was a treasure and all of us here are lucky to have known her.  She continued to be interested in the comings and goings of our lives even as she aged at Brookridge.  The smile she shared with us will never disappear from our memories.

Miriam was a teacher who taught by example.  She taught us love, generosity, the joy of laughter from a good story, loyalty, the love of learning, and how to find the best in each other.

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Mom at a baptism, with Jim and Susan Divine, baby Ellen Divine and big sister Hannah.

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Mom at a baptism, with Jim and Susan Divine, baby Ellen Divine and big sister Hannah.

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Susan Rutter Divine sent this photo from August 1990.

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A batch of mom’s mint brownies on her birthday. 

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A batch of mom’s mint brownies on her birthday. 

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After moving to Brookridge in the fall of 2018, Mom asked for one last Christmas at 403 E Arch St. On Christmas morning, she needed lots of help getting up the steps into the kitchen. But when she pushed her walker into the living room and saw us all, she beamed and started singing "We wish you a merry Christmas." We all joined in, and suddenly she could stand upright without the walker--she needed her hands to clap along! A Christmas Miracle!

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A perfect tribute in the Marquette Monthly

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A perfect tribute in the Marquette Monthly

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Remarks by Prof. Russ Magnahi.  The morning of the funeral Beverly and I thought we would visit an exhibition about indigenous Americans at Northern's Beaumier Center.  When we got there we saw a flyer announcing the Sonderegger Symposium, including remarks by Russ Maghani about Marion and Miriam.  We arrived mid-way through and missed his comments about mom, but he later emailed his text.  

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Remarks by Prof. Russ Magnahi.  The morning of the funeral Beverly and I thought we would visit an exhibition about indigenous Americans at Northern's Beaumier Center.  When we got there we saw a flyer announcing the Sonderegger Symposium, including remarks by Russ Maghani about Marion and Miriam.  We arrived mid-way through and missed his comments about mom, but he later emailed his text.  

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Mom was her Stephens minister for 26 years

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Part of a piece "Miracle Moments in Marquette" that Mom wrote in 2009.  Marie finally died at age 103 in 2011.
"I met Marie, who had been a member of the Presbyterian Church since 1913, in 1985 when I was assigned to be her Stephen minister. A widow, she  lived with her only daughter, son in law, Joe Turenne and grandson, David  for 30 years. Then her daughter died of breast cancer. Two years later, her son in law asked her to leave the house. She resisted. He insisted.  Church friends finally  had to help her move. She was living in an upstairs apartment with a small dog and a large pet seagull. It hurt her to walk. She hated having to take taxis because  taxi drivers sometimes gave her a bad time about taking her dog. She would sometimes accept rides to church, but had difficulty hearing  and was losing her eyesight. She was angry and bitter. Her previous Stephen minister tried to help for the required two years, then gave up. “She’s ungrateful. She hates me,” she announced.

When she could hardly walk at all, the Deacons helped her move into a ground floor handicapped accessible apartment at Snowberry where she could cook for herself and could get some help with household chores from the Senior Center. She was very fastidious. She  kept all her garbage, well wrapped, in the freezer till I came to visit and could  take it to the refuse room. My friend, Margaret Hilton, died before one of my visits. A friend read her obituary and told Marie that I had died. She was very distressed, “She can’t die, who will take out my garbage?” she asked. She was very glad to see me alive when I came to see her, as usual, the next week.

Shortly thereafter, she had a stroke, was in the hospital for six weeks and came out very feeble and with severe pain in her back. Her doctor told her he could cut the nerve to  free her from pain, but she would be unable to walk and would have to move to Norlite.

Her grandson, David, now a math and social studies teacher in the high school, helped find friends and family members who promised to take care of her cherished china cabinet and sewing machine. He arranged for a private room in Norlite (she had savings from years of clerking at  Quality Hardware) took care of her finances and visited her faithfully every week. She depended on him  and was very proud of him. It pleased her to be able to give him small gifts, the  candy bars she won at Bingo.

David was also a baseball coach and every August would go downstate to a coaching convention. In 2006, he waved “Good bye, See you in two weeks.” as he left.  The next morning he was dead of a brain aneurysm. It was a terrible shock to the whole community, but Marie was devastated. She couldn’t believe that she had lost her only

family.  Pastors Larry Jones and Dave Mair made lengthy visits and I spent several nights  beside her bed, holding her hand and listening to her sobs. She was able to go to the funeral home for the visitation and was gratified that her nephews from Ironwood came

to express their sympathy. The church was packed for the funeral. Sitting close to the front in her wheelchair, she could hear some of the music, but none of the tributes offered by his loving students, many of them sobbing. She was very cool to his father, the son in law who had “kicked her out.”

Joe tried to speak to Marie, but his grief was overwhelming. He arranged for a memorial stone next to his Mother’s for  David. “Beloved teacher and coach.” He planted red and white geraniums, the Marquette High School colors and took good care of them. On Memorial Day, I push Marie, in her wheelchair, as close as possible to the graves and describe the flowers to her. “I wish I could see them. Are they really nice? “ she’d ask.

Since David’s death, I’ve taken over Marie’s finances and visit regularly. Every year, on her birthday, we have a party for her in the Norlite dining room. Church friends bring flowers and cards. But her good friend, Harold Kellan, who used to play the piano at her parties and whisper, “After this we’ll go out to the Shamrock, Marie” died at 100. “How have I lived to be 101?” she asks.

Nowadays, when the nurse gives her her medicine, she says, “Thank you.” And sometimes adds, “They’re very good to me, here. When I leave, she says “Thank you for coming, I love you.”

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In young Miriam’s words, “Her smile captured a sentiment beyond contentedness to encompass joy, pride, satisfaction and abiding love.”

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Written for the Westside Junior High School newsletter in Ridgewood, NJ.  1938.  A good writer, even then.  

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PERSIA

From New York go due east across the Atlantic and through the Mediterranean to its eastern shore.  Then leave the boat at Beirut and travel by automobile up and over the Lebanon Mountains.  Continue east across the roadless desert about three hundred and fifty miles and you come to Bagdad, the city of date palms, dusty roads, and a muddy river.  East again and up, up to the plateau of Guan, to the city of Kermanshah, and you have arrived at the place where I did, thirteen years ago.

Our Persian friends were not as pleased as Daddy when I came.  They hung their heads, looked down at their feet, and hoped that next time God would send him a boy.

We lived upstairs in the medical house until it became one wing of the new hospital.  Our very own home had foundation walls four feet thick and it was made of burnt bricks.  Summer breezes came from the southwest so we had our sleeping bags on the porch on that side.  Nets over our beds were a necessity because sandflies, malaria mosquitoes, and on occasion, scorpions had to be kept out.  Our milk and water had to be boiled.  There were no such things as strained vegetables, but I thrived anyway.

I loved our “lawash,” paper thin bread baked in sheets about thirty by ten inches.  Pomegranates and apricots were also things I enjoyed.  We had delicious red, yellow, green and white melons.  Our servants made their meal of thick, coarse, rubber-like bread baked on hot pebbles in sheets that were also about thirty by ten inches.  This, with cheese and strong sweet tea, makes the standard meal for millions of Persians.

Because the only other American girl my age was going to boarding school in Hamadan, I decided to go there too, when I was eight years old.  I traveled by truck down valleys, around bare mountains, and up again until I reached my destination, which was 6,000 feet above sea level.  There were six girls in our boarding home.  In the wintertime we would sometimes plow through drifts five feet high.

The following year my whole family moved to Hamadan, so I lived at home and went to the Mission School of 17 pupils.  The next two school years found me studying in Teheran, the capital of Iran, which  boasts of streets wide enough to accommodate automobiles and shops which sell foreign goods, although we found their supply to be limited.

During last summer I climbed two mountains of 12,00 and 1,200 feet in altitude and this summer coming to the states we went through Resho, which is a tropical sea-level city, bordering the Caspian.

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Dressing up as Esther Roberts for a presentation on women of NMU.  Next to her is Jayne Heibel, dressing as Abby Beecher Roberts.  c. 1998.

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Excerpts from Mom's beloved pastor, Larry Jones', remarks at the memorial service.

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Excerpts from Mom's beloved pastor, Larry Jones', remarks at the memorial service.

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How can I tell of the grace of Jesus Christ, as it was illustrated so clearly and thoroughly in the life of Miriam Hilton?  How can I tell of the love of God, as we saw it played out daily in the comings and goings of that famous resident of 403 Arch St.?  But then, to no one here do I have to tell of the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, because probably everybody in this room and everybody watching from afar has experienced it fully and completely first-hand, either here at church, or in a multitude of organizations around the city and state, at the hospital, as a grateful observer of Senior Day Care, at the Y, or at home on a regular basis, and then additionally on Monday, and then later also on Tuesday, evenings.

Because grace, love, and fellowship came so naturally to Miriam Hilton, she renewed faith in both God and humanity in all whom she met.  She gave people hope, and hope is the one thing no person on earth can live without.  Miriam was famous for visiting and uplifting what I can only charitably call the unlovely people around us.  Even a church has a few of those!  What motivated her to treat with utmost courtesy and love people who were decidedly discourteous and unloving in return?  Certainly it was the fact that she grew up in a loving family!  And she, of course, grew up in a family of faith.  When her own children used to exclaim how lucky or how fortunate they were, Miriam would offer a mild corrective:  “We are so blessed!”

Because she felt blessed, she could pass on those blessings to others, no matter how she was treated!

You see, Miriam was an example of someone who did not wait until the next life to achieve “the melody of peace.”  She did not wait to reach “the shining river,” nor the end of her pilgrimage.  In the middle of life, right here, while carrying her daily burdens, she followed in the footsteps of angels and breathed peace and contentment to all around her.

It is a truism that we can never do justice to a person’s life in a memorial service.  We shouldn’t even try.  But we can celebrate, however inadequately, the gifts a person brought to us, and Miriam brought a whole lot of gifts.  We can list them, but if we tried, the list would stretch from here to the moon!  Rather, let Mike Foley’s words strike a resounding theme for this service.  He was my predecessor as pastor of this congregation, and when I was coming to Marquette but before I arrived, I called him up and asked him what I needed to know.  He told me the first person I would meet would be Miriam Hilton, because she is the person behind the scenes doing everything for everyone.  I asked cautiously if she were the martinet of the kitchen, the nasty dictator who had no formal position but from whom everyone took orders and kept their distance.  He told me, “No.  She is a legend and she is wonderful.”  On November 1, 1993 I arrived here, and the first person I met, emerging from the small kitchen next to the parlors, was Miriam Hilton.  She immediately introduced herself, and I knowingly said, “Ah, you’re the legend.”  With a smile that was both disarming and dismissive, she said, “Yes, everyone should meet one once in a lifetime,” and then she went on with whatever it was she was going to tell me in the first place.

This was a woman who was modest and clear-headed.  You all know that Miriam was the daughter of missionaries, born in Iran the week before Christmas in 1924.  Graduate of Wellesley College, Iowa State, NMU, and Ann Arbor, she gained through her family and her education a love of people and a love of expressing herself well.  Because she was so capable, she was tapped to write the 75th Anniversary book about Northern Michigan University back in 1974.

But it is not for her writing that we principally remember Miriam.  It is for her life of selfless giving.

Many people here will recall that terrible day, maybe 25 years ago, when Miriam was crossing an intersection on her way to the hospital, and a car turned at the intersection and hit her, knocking her down and breaking both her legs.  Miriam spent the next several weeks at a local nursing home recovering, but while she was there, she entertained a constant stream of visitors and received tons of mail.  She had hardly any time to rest or do anything she wanted to do, and so she started to take lunch in her room, so that she could write thank you notes to the people who had dropped by or sent her get well cards.  Some poor, well-meaning staff member of the establishment reprimanded her for not having lunch in the dining room with the other residents, implying that this was a sign of being anti-social, something Miriam had to get over!  This staff member obviously wasn’t seeing what was happening all through every morning and every afternoon for weeks on end, and so Miriam, with tears in her eyes, begged the staff member just to let her be, so that she could write those thank you notes!  I’m not sure the staff member, who did not know Miriam, ever understood.

Once upon a time, way long ago now, Sarah Payne stopped in to visit the Hiltons and found Earl sitting in his chair by the wood stove.  After a chat, Sarah asked if Miriam was around.  “No,” Earl said, in his Wyoming drawl, “she is out saving the world.”  There is a line from the Talmud, slightly paraphrased, “Whoever saves a life saves the world entire.”  Everyone of us, and our world entire, has been saved many times over by this one woman!

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Nancy Nall Derringer's tribute to the "love dervish."  

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Nancy Nall Derringer's tribute to the "love dervish."  

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I’m remiss in not mentioning the loss of Ann Hilton Fisher’s mother, Miriam. Ann comments here, but not often, and is far more active on social media, particularly Facebook. Over the years, I’ve been charmed by her stories about Miriam, who is — was — something of a love dervish, serving her community (Marquette, Mich.), her church (First Presbyterian) and her friends and family. She was a firecracker to the end of her life; one of my favorite pictures is of her and Ann swimming in Lake Superior not many years ago, as the last of the winter’s ice bobs around them. She was one of those women who took in boarders at her house, students at Northern Michigan University, and some of their stories about her abundant kindness will move you to tears. Anyway, Miriam finally went to her (surely abundant) reward at 96 while we were in France, and her memorial was this week. There’s a site called Padlet that compiles all the ephemera of these events, and Miriam’s is worth poking around in. I wish it allowed hyperlinking to individual bits of it, but you can’t have everything. If you control-F to “Carrier,” you’ll find one of her boarder’s testimonies, which I think gives you a sense of what Miriam was all about. I also loved her story called “The Gift of Water,” about her life as the child of a missionary working in Iran.
(Photo is from 2018, so mom was a mere 93.  Blog post is from http://nancynall.com/2021/11/11/sneakers/ }

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1952. Earl, Sue, and Miriam Hilton and John and Dave Elder in back.  Bill Alice, and Ruth Elder in front with Ann Hilton

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From sister Alice (or Azzie)

My sister, Miriam, was my bridge to America.  I had been 16 years old for all of three weeks when, on my arrival in the US, the smiling, friendly FBI confiscated my passport. My father’s final warning had been “If you lose your passport you are nobody.” Suddenly, in America, I had become nobody.  Feeling lost I was not looking forward to the dinner my aunt Agnes had arranged in her dormitory at Wellesley College, with some faculty. Then Miriam, appeared.  We had not seen each other for four years, but suddenly I was a person again, Mim’s real sister!

Later in the semester she was my guardian angel, sacrificing a whole weekend of her junior year to riding trains so that she could visit me in boarding school, transforming  my dorm mates view of this foreigner who didn’t even know American slang into the lucky kid sister of a cute, accomplished, and attractive college student.

With our parents in Iran we had no home to go to during vacations, so when brother Joe and I both worked at the Northfield summer conferences, Mim baked and mailed to each of us a delicious birthday cake, converting our routine chores into a two-celebration summer.

Later, when as parents of preschoolers I was grounded by my need to focus on the 86,400 seconds to be fully lived each day, Mim let me travel with her by sending scenic, historic, newsy postcards.

When a widow of 80,  I was confined to a nursing home while  convalescing from a broken hip.  Mim’s sisterly concern for me became palpable when her daughter, Ann, drove her from Chicago to Bloomington to see me. I was thrilled, and my table mates’ appreciation of what they had done redefined me for the remainder of my stay as the singularly fortunate person which I was.

From sister Louise (Weezie):

As she did for Azzie, Mim introduced me to American life.  She took me in for my senior year in  Oberlin, Ohio, when she and Earl were living there.  She already had two adorable, blond baby girls, and delivered her first son at the end of that year, so taking me in was even more of a challenge.  She found other high school seniors nearby to accompany me to school in the morning, and they became my best friends.  She even tried to teach me to cook.  And she hosted  the whole Elder family  for that Christmas, missing only brother Joe and his wife Joann in India.

Many years later, during a family gathering in my home in Madison, Wisconsin, trying to replicate a favorite  Persian recipe, my sister, Azzie, and I discovered we had put four times  the needed spice into the pot. Miriam showed up, solved the problem, and we ended with a fine tasting supper.  Mim, our mighty problem solver.

Mim has always been a great example to me of the right way a life should be lived.

And about her brothers, when brother Bill was ill with no place to stay at school or work, he wound up at 403 East Arch Street, of course.  Much later, Bill brought his Iranian bride to the US for Anne and Bill’s wedding in Marquette.

Much earlier, brother Joe, just finishing high school, had made it to Mim and Earl’s wedding in Fredonia, New York, but it cost him the summer job he was supposed to start that week.

As for me, in the second semester of my sophomore year at Oberlin, my roommate and I moved into a spare room in the big house that already held Mim, Earl, Weez, Anne and Sue. We left just in time to make room for the arrival of John, and the family’s return to Marquette.

A few months later we experienced a Christmas miracle.  Weez, then a Wooster College freshman, spotted an ad on a bulletin board looking for fellow students willing to share driving time and gasoline costs to drive from Wooster, Ohio direct to Marquette, Michigan for the Christmas holidays. That year and the next, sister Weez and I invited ourselves to spend Christmas in Marquette with the growing Hilton family.

Mim provided a home for us, her siblings, especially when we had no other home to go to in the US.

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Dee (Wu) Hlawek speaking for the students who lived on Arch Street.

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Dee (Wu) Hlawek speaking for the students who lived on Arch Street.

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Good afternoon.  My name is Dee Wu Hlawek.  I feel very much at home at this church.  This was Miriam’s church, and Miriam was the “church.”  I lived with Miriam and Earl on Arch Street from 1991 to 1995.  I am one of the many students Miriam helped, supported, and encouraged selflessly over the years.  I told Ann a few weeks ago that I owe Miriam a lifetime of cake, ice-cream, sesame sticks, and chocolate-covered almonds.

Miriam and Earl picked me up from the Marquette airport in January 1991.  I had never met them prior to coming to Marquette.  Through a mutual connection, they found out that I was coming to Northern Michigan University from Shanghai, China.  They told the International Students Office to cancel the school bus to pick me up.  They came to the airport on their own to give me a special welcome from the Marquette community.  That evening, Miriam helped lift my 2 heavy suitcases upstairs to the room I was staying for the night.  I thought to myself, wow, Miriam was so strong.  And you all know Miriam.  That was just typical of her.  She would not miss an opportunity to be useful to a fellow human being.

I am forever grateful because Miriam and Earl opened up their home to me, shared meals with me, and treated me like a member of the family.   I went on family reunion trips, sang in the church choir, poured tea at dinner parties, benefited from listening to the stories at dinner table, went to writers’ club, and went to many annual mother and daughter banquets at the church.

I witnessed Miriam’s belief and tireless efforts in helping people in need with little expectation of return.  She drove to Nursing Homes every Sunday to help her friends with errands and other things they need.  Some of them were not easy to please and were not always in the best mood.  Miriam had a smile on her face and helped any way.  Miriam served many church dinners for different occasions (e.g., wedding and memorial services), and she practically ran the church kitchen for many years.  She cooked Monday night and Tuesday night dinners for friends who lived alone and could use company.  Among other things, Miriam managed a Senior Day Care and Alzheimer’s Program.  Miriam was the embodiment of community service and volunteerism.  She believed in God’s calling and lived at ease, even when she faced challenges and difficulties.

Miriam is truly a larger-than-life figure, and I learned a lot from her leadership skills such as getting things done and leading by examples.  I probably learned more about leadership from Miriam than any single leadership class I took at Harvard Business School.  Indeed, I realized my American dream because of Miriam and Earl’s generosity.

My life has forever been impacted by Miriam.  So have many others. Before I arrived and after I left Marquette, Miriam and Earl routinely gave free room and board to International students who struggled financially to pursue an education at Northern.  The students who stayed with Miriam and Earl came from China, Korea, India, Sri Lanka, the Netherlands, Kenya, and other countries.

When I faced challenges and difficulties in life, I often thought of Miriam.  I asked myself, what would Miriam do in this situation?  Then I would march forward without regret.  I am indebted to Miriam’s teaching and examples, and Miriam has shown us how to live a splendid and inspiring life, filled with love and compassion.  Thank you so so much Miriam!!

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It was an honor to grow up as one of Miriam's neighbors, thus I have numerous memories of Miriam. However, one of my favorite memories with her is going over to her house to eat her famous chocolate chip cookies with one of my best friends. We were mischievous kids because my parents didn't know where we were. Another one of my favorite memories is when she would decorate the trees in her front yard to celebrate holidays. I loved seeing Easter eggs hanging from her tree on the left side of her house or Christmas lights outside. It always made them that much more special. Marquette was a remarkable place to grow up and she helped make it that way.

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Kay Harper remembers the last rose of summer

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Kay Harper remembers the last rose of summer

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Kay Harper always saved the last rose from her garden for mom. In the fall of 2020 Brookridge was still locked down, but if it wasn't too cold out, we could have brief masked and distanced outdoor visits. Kay heard that one was happening and stopped by with the last rose, for the last time. Thank you, Kay!

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"Young Miriam" (Miriam Godwin) speaks for the grandchildren

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"Young Miriam" (Miriam Godwin) speaks for the grandchildren

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My name is Miriam Godwin. I am my grandmother’s fourth grandchild, after my cousins Betsy, Ed and Kate. After me, comes my brother, Jamie followed by Miles and Aaron.

For the purposes of expectation setting, it is flatly impossible to sum up the impact that Grandma Miriam had on her grandchildren in 4 minutes. For myself, her influence has been so immense and overarching that, all other things being equal, I would be a fundamentally different person if she had not been my grandmother, had not been in the kitchen at the top of the garage steps, stirring, stacking, arranging, behind the sticky door I had to put my weight against to open, my fingers pink from the late summer raspberries that grew beside the driveway.

Grandma Miriam smiled with her whole face. In my memory, her face is creased with wrinkles that, when her cheeks raise, overtake her eyes, so they just briefly close and then open, her lips pursed just slightly as though the words “I love you” are on the tip of her tongue. Her smile captured a sentiment beyond contentedness to encompass joy, pride, satisfaction, and abiding love. This expression is one I think her grandchildren all recognize, from graduations, weddings, plays, ballets, church events, and just from being seen walking into 403 East Arch Street, grandma’s beaming smile at laying eyes on one of us lighting up the whole house.

Even in the last months of her life, I did not really believe it was possible that Grandma Miriam would pass away because for my entire life it had been self-evident to me that she was someone to whom the laws of nature did not apply.  She was too indomitable, too essential, too foundational. – there was too much left to do that needed doing. And yet.

This summer, when I saw Grandma Miriam for the last time, I stood on an eroding shoreline, looked out at grand and unseasonably warm Lake Superior, and thought about the loss of irreplaceable treasures. I have tangible pieces of grandma’s life – the jewelry I am wearing today, creches and tchotchkes wrapped in paper scraps from Arch Street. And, I have the intangibles of her life, her embodiment of the best of humanity, the inclination to help others, to build and sustain communities of caring, to see a need and to fill it, to delight in the bounty of other people – and of our human capacity for generosity, industriousness, friendship, fellowship, warmth, optimism, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and love and the faith that in abundance these can heal individuals and neighborhoods, and then the world.

In the days after her death, I rode my bike in a nearby park, looked up at the sky encircled by leafy trees on the cusp of shedding their leaves and felt her nearby, diffuse but omnipresent. Maybe what I sensed was actually her presence in and influence on me, shaping nearly everything about me from my name to the choices I will make every day for the rest of my life about how to work and live with others, what to prioritize, how to live a life of love and joy and service, and how you ought to prepare your home for the children who will come through the door for a visit (marbles, puzzles, and cookies).  It is cliché to say (though it also happens to be true) that in these ways, she lives on in me, as well as in my cousins and my brother, six of the most wonderful people I know, and their partners and their children.

Though, like all of her grandchildren, I have inherited some of her traits, Grandma Miriam and I could also be quite different. We both found satisfaction in being in the kitchen and sharing the results of baking projects. I, however, unlike Grandma Miriam, am a miserable perfectionist about my baking and cooking. I thought about that as I revised and re-revised these remarks about 100 times. It is easy to imagine Grandma Miriam peering at a tray of slightly browned spritz cookies and deeming them good enough for an act of love. I very much hope she would feel the same way about what I have said here today.

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For the archival purists, the carrot cake recipe in mom's own handwriting.

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Far better than any of the rest of us could do, I add.  

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Families are not democracies, yet somehow I lost a 4-1 vote with my siblings, and here I am, designated to speak on behalf of all of us.  Mine was the dissenting vote.

Arguing that I should speak, John (I think) said, Rob’s a diplomat, he knows how to do this kind of thing.  And I thought, what dark chapters in our mother’s history am I am supposed to diplomatically gloss over, what skeletons do I have to keep safely locked in the closet?  Sex?  Mom already outed herself in that regard, with the notorious chapter in her memories entitled “a missionary daughter encounters sex,” and as was further discussed at some length at our father’s funeral.

I suppose I do have a few awful truths I could share.  I never much cared for those Christmas fruitcakes, for example.

I did come up with one parallel to diplomatic life.  People in my career often have “me walls,” a collection of photos or framed awards that indicate how esteemed we are, or at least, how self-important.  A picture with the President, or the Secretary of State.  Beribboned certificates  That kind of thing.  Well, mom had one of those “me walls”.  Two, in fact.  One was the kitchen wall above the decrepit washer and hardly-used dryer.  The other was the refrigerator.

Mom’s refrigerator features in a poem written by my niece Kati about her own beloved mother, Paula, but it also includes these lines about the Arch Street refrigerator.

it is covered with pictures of grandchildren, friends, birthdays, and assorted dogs.
The only papers it holds are five years’ worth of valentines,
red construction paper hearts with typed notes, or later, scribbles,
all quotes from John Donne or Thoreau or any other writer
that just popped off the top of a mind, now scattered between bean plants in the garden.

The red construction paper hearts are vivid in my own memory.  As many people have observed, our father wasn’t always easy to love, but mom loved him with her whole heart.  And I would venture that mom was sometimes difficult to love, too.  Dad may well have felt that he wasn’t just displaced by all us kids, but by all the causes, too.  Dad retired at 65, so mom would have been 55, and I, 15.  My siblings were long gone, so it was just us at home, except that mom really wasn’t there much, or if she was, her attention was focused on guests, or preparations for an event.  It did seem ironic that mom founded a senior day care center when she had a senior citizen of her own at home although dad was of course perfectly capable of taking care of himself.  Still, I can imagine dad felt now that he had time on his hands, they should spend more of it together.  Regardless, no matter how much had gone into any given day, how much or little time they had been together, they always ended it with a good long smooch by the woodstove.  In mom’s memoire she says this about dad’s last days.

“We repeatedly told him we loved him, and he always responded, “I love you, too.”  Once, he added to me, “Did you ever doubt it?”  “Never, my love.”

And then there was the wall by the kitchen door, above the washer.  Of course I cannot recall everything that was there, but I am sure there was a certificate from the Zonta Club, an award for her volunteering.  Probably also a copy of the mayor’s proclamation of Miriam Elder Hilton week in the city of Marquette, October 13-17, 2014.  The statement notes her founding of the senior day care and This Morning’s For You, along with the Monday and Tuesday dinners.  And I think also, awards from Rotary, and probably AAUW, too.  You get the idea.  All of this points to, not mom’s importance in her own eyes, but in the eyes of others.  And they all point to mom’s concept of service.

During the interval that has passed from mom’s death until today, we have been telling stories, sharing photos, and reminiscing.  Ann has more than once told the story of mom saying that above all, she wanted to be of service.  She inherited that from her own mother, who, mom wrote in her memoire, “reminded us, always, God calls you to serve.”

If you listen to mom’s StoryCorps interview, you will hear her talk about this calling.  And she expressed to Ann her frustration when in her later years it was harder to serve, it was no longer possible to arrange a wedding reception for 100 people, or prepare dinner for 15 people on Monday night, then do it again on Tuesday.  She felt this most particularly when she moved into Brookridge, and her world diminished considerably.  Even then, however, she could visit another person’s room, to pray with them, sing with them, or simply hold their hands.  And when even that became too much, she said to Ann, she could always smile.  In the dining room, in the corridor passing in her wheelchair, she could serve someone with a smile.  So she did, and you see that smile until the very end, in the photos from the final Zoom calls the morning of her last day on earth.

Let me digress here a moment to offer my thanks, and that of the other Hilton kids, to our big sister Ann.  Many people cared for our mother in her last years, but no one more than Ann.  Ann managed the moving out of the Arch Street house, eased the transition into Brookridge, took mom to her medical appointments, and in the end, fed her meals.  Sue and John and Maggie all took their turns, grandchildren came to visit, many friends from church gave their time, but no one gave mom as much love and care and attention as Ann, and we are all forever grateful.  And so is mom.

I will admit that all of us children, like dad, may have a been a bit neglected.  Once we were more or less fledged, we were allowed to fly, fall, wander, and generally speaking expected to look after ourselves.  My brother-in-law Steve charitably described it as “a somewhat unstructured household.”  Mom had other things to attend to. There were more to serve than just us, certainly more mouths to feed, and souls to save, or salve.  I can’t say it did any of us harm, and although none of us can compare to mom, we all do serve in our own ways.  Ann provided legal advice to AIDS patients, Sue is an advocate for equality and the environment.  John provides jobs and connects a community, Maggie advances science teaching in schools, I serve as a diplomat.  We grew in our parents love and with their support.

When we were discussing this memorial service, Ann and Maggie recalled mom saying that “For All the Saints” was her favorite hymn.  It was sung at her mother’s funeral, as we will be singing it here.  But mom did not actually specify that we should do so – she was too modest to suggest she might be a saint.  Safe to say she counted on the rest of us to understand her wink and nod, and include it in the program.

Singing was, in fact, one of the relatively few interests mom and I shared.  She didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons or read a lot of fantasy fiction.  But we both loved to sing and I think it made her very happy when I joined the choir here at First Presbyterian.

Sunday mornings she would be here by 8:00 or earlier, for bible study or to prepare coffee.  I barely made it by 9:15, for rehearsal before the service.  But she loved to process with me and would hold my hand and we would come down the aisle together before splitting, left and right.  She delighted when I sang solos, as I sometimes did at Palm Sunday and Christmas.  I would like to sing for her now.

About her childhood, mom wrote in her memoire that after the children had said their evening prayers, their mother would sit at the top of the stairs of the mission house in Hamadan, and sing softly to them.  Here is that hymn.

Savior, like a shepherd lead us,
Much we need Thy tender care;
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us,
For our use Thy folds prepare:
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus,
Thou hast bought us, Thine we are;
Blessèd Jesus, blessèd Jesus,
Thou hast bought us, Thine we are.

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Aunt Mim didn't let Covid 19 keep her from seeing and talking with the family and the extended family.

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I have many memories of Miriam, as she was just 'always there', including her "kitchen duty" following my mother's funeral. My first memory of Miriam was also of favorite of my mother's: I think it was 1966 and I was 3. In the basement of the church, there was a potluck and I lost track of my mother in the sea of legs. Upset by this, Miriam scooped me up, held me, comforted me, and somehow found my mother. My mother also enjoyed talking about this in the years that followed, asking if I remembered what I said. Apparently, upon Miriam returning me to my mother, I said, "That's a nice lady!". Each time my mother reminded me of this, I'd tell her, "Well, I was right".

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New addition to Linden and Daniel’s ofrenda

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New addition to Linden and Daniel’s ofrenda

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Great Aunt Mim beamed down from L/D’s mantel where beloved family members were celebrated this past weekend in the Mexican tradition of Dia de Muertos when we were all together in NC. We reminisced about reunions and family meals and Mim’s indomitable spirit. We send special love to everyone gathered in Marquette today (11/5/21). Leslie, John, Linden, Daniel, Lyra, Rowan, Anna and Rodrigo

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Mom's church bazaar jingle, sometime in the 70s?

"Time to panic", said Connie
bazaar day is here.
"I'm sure nothing's ready,
what a worrying year!"

But all through the church,
these past sixteen weeks,
P.W.'s have been hustling,
let's take a few peeks.

Lambs, puppies and bunnies
Santa-sauruses too,
Diana says they're for sale.
Sue thinks it's a zoo.

Nancy's light acorns
make small mice on skis.
Shirley's magic machines
make wee socks to please.

Now Dee wants to make angels
but the wings are with Janet.
that hair style is awful.
A halo will band it.

Rebeccas bring cookies,
sixteen hundred to-tall.
A plate full is twenty;
Lauriann checks them all.

Kay and Emma mix roll dough.
Bob and Cathie knead it.
Lucy cuts the fruit in bits.
Mary, Rita wreathe it.

Wendy checks the baking,
Lottie helps them cool.
Florence ices, decorates.
(Ruth's "treasures" are a jewel.)

Saturday's skies are golden.
The wind is like ice.
The veggies are boiling.
Greens on tables look nice.

But soup broth is still frozen,
the lettuce is too.
Melt soup in the kettle.
"Run to the store, Sue."

One soup's full of broccoli,
cream, milk, and butter.
"But it should be much thicker."
We all heard Jill mutter.

The Rachel circle ties up
tiny packages for wreathes,
packs beans, peas, and lentils
for a soup that's a feast.

"Only three pans of brownies?
Rush home and mix dough.
We'll bake in church ovens.
Warm cookies will go."

Jean's jelly is selling.
The coffee is done.
One valve's turned the wrong way
and then we have fun!

Water sprays to the ceiling.
Patti runs for the mop.
Miriam's sopping and squealing;
but nothing must stop!

Home, clothes into dryer,
(the cook's in her slip.)
Now the dog's out the back door.
The neighbors he'll nip!

But "All's well that ends well."
Crowds came and they bought.
Mission fields will prosper.
The worry's for naught.

And then Handel's "Messiah"
we all heard that night.
Sing "Glory to God"
and to Connie "Good Night!".

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I love this picture of the two precious people in my life.
Miriam and Earl were love in action. I was one of the many students who were privileged to be in their home where you felt like family. They are part of my American dream come true.
Rose

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A great family reunion memory - A joint birthday scavenger hunt for Mim, Alice, and Dave. Mim, being the eldest sibling, led us all to the final treasure singing "We're Following the Leader" from Peter Pan. With love from Patsy, Emily, and the Edmonton Elders <3 We miss her.

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I love this photo of my 3 aunts.  I will miss my aunt Mim, she was big sister to everyone.  Her life was incredibly full.  There are so many people that she helped one way or another. People like aunt Mim are one in a million.  I love her and her legacy lives on in us all.

Love Renee

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Memories of blizzards and carrots from Sue Hefke

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Memories of blizzards and carrots from Sue Hefke

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I have several memories of Miriam but I will just write about a few to share with you. So many people knew her over her lifetime and all admired the wonderful things she did for so many. I feel like a "force" in our community is gone. It is impossible to think of how many in her lifetime got to see her big smile, had her touch them in some way, ate at her dining table, stayed at her home overnight, had her wheel them to a test or deliver them mail at the hospital, sang in the choir with her at church or just had her hold their hand as they prayed together. The list goes on and on. She will be missed.

I probably met Miriam at Northern when we first came to Marquette or at church when I sang for a short time in the choir. However, around 1984 I became the Volunteer Director at Marquette General Hospital. Several ladies had been working at the desk for years greeting guests and patients and also sorting and delivering the mail. Miriam was one of them. They had things so organized, I just had to say "Good Morning" and here are your meal tickets and the rest fell into place. Rarely was anyone absent.

However, on one stormy day schools were called off and I knew Miriam would be not give up going to work at the hospital early in the morning. I decided to call her home and see if she wanted to catch a ride with my husband and me. Earl answered and said, "She left already and was walking."  Well, when I got there I went straight to the desk and found her getting things set up. "Miriam," I said "you should have stayed home today.  Did you walk all this way?"  "No", she replied." I was walking in the road on Front St. and the man driving the city plow pulled over and said get in- you are more trouble walking than if I take you where you need to go. So, he brought me to the hospital." I laughed as she told me this as I now knew Miriam had ways to get to "work" on time that I did not know existed.

As you know, Miriam spent many hours giving her time to the church. The ladies were often asked to provide a lunch for the family after a funeral. Once in a while I offered to help. One day two or three gals had finished setting up tables and when I arrived they told me Miriam might need my help in the kitchen. So, I walked in and offered her my help. "Well, do you know how to cut up carrots," she asked. "I think I wondered what expectations she had for cutting carrots?" So, she let me work on carrots and finally said we were done. As we cleaned up, I asked her if she wanted a ride home. " No, I always walk."   But as we left the church, I convinced her to let me take her the few blocks home. Thanking me, she said you have given me a few more minutes to get my dinner ready for guests. There would be no rest for Miriam this afternoon.

My last memory of Miriam is one she would describe as "silly"!  I bought a used bright red convertible many years ago and drove it during the few summer months of good weather in Marquette. It had just become a reality after wishing for one for years. One day driving home from work I saw Miriam walking near the funeral home. I pulled over and asked if I could give her a ride home. "No", she firmly told me. I knew she always like to walk but I insisted by saying, "Miriam, have you ever ridden in a convertible?" "No," she replied. " Well, this is the day you should do it." I don't know what changed her mind but she came to the side of the car and got in and away we went. Top down and all. I am sure she hoped that no one on the east side would see us as we pulled into her driveway. She said a quick thank- you and was out the door. I don't think she ever mentioned it to me again. Be sure you put this short ride on her list of the thousands of things she did in her life but list it at the bottom and make sure you note she probably never talked about it to anyone.

Miriam will be missed but she was such a blessing to so many that she will never be forgotten.

Sincerely,

Sue Hefke

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We were so thrilled to get to have Miriam come down to attend our wedding in New Orleans in the spring of 2018. It was a big trek from Marquette, and we were honored that she made the journey to be there with us to celebrate.

Like most people who had the pleasure of being in Miriam's presence, our wedding photographer was absolutely taken with her. We have dozens of photos with her at the center, but this one is definitely a favorite. We were waiting to do some group shots, and our photographer snuck in a handful of shots of Miriam in the center of all the chaos with a huge smile on her face, which seems just right.

-Ashley Fisher

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Lucy Bergland and Elizabeth Miller.  Good friends.

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I came to Marquette in 1963 to attend Northern Michigan University. Your father was my freshman English teacher. I remember him inviting us students to Thanksgiving dinner if we weren’t going to our own homes for the holiday. Miriam personally invited me to bring my mother to Adult Day Care. My initial response was, “Oh, she doesn’t need that.” Miriam put her hand on my arm and said, “It’s not just for her.” My mom attended daycare three days a week for several years. And my husband and I enjoyed a few hours of much needed respite. I always knew my mom was safe and loved. My mother referred to it as play church and our Sunday church service as pray church. One morning, as we were getting ready to go to daycare, my mom asked, “Why do I have to go there?” My response was, “What do you mean?” She said, “There’s something wrong with everyone there but me.” I replied, “That’s why you need to go. Miriam needs you to help her.” My mom quickly said, “”Oh, I can do that.” And off we went.

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Miriam has provided the students not just a place to stay, but a home away from home. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met in my life and will live inside my heart forever.

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Arch Street was a magnet for trick or treating kids and mom loved seeing them all.  Even after she moved to Brookridge in August 2018 she came back to Arch Street to hand out candy that year.  The hot dog and tyrannosaurus pictures are from parties at Brookridge, where kids were invited to come trick or treat through the halls.  The 2017 photo shows her in a favorite Halloween outfit with her friend Ginny Foreman.

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Miriam was in town and John invited my mother, Patricia Perkins, and I (Phil), to enjoy a meal and spend an evening together. Ann prepared a delicious pomegranate seed salad. Miriam and Patricia were neighbors in Marquette and good friends for many decades. It was a blessing growing up next door to the Hilton Family, for whom I have many fond memories. Miriam was a wonderful person. Rest in peace.

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Miriam found me shortly after we moved to Marquette in 1987.  Shortly thereafter, I was rocking babies at the THIS MORNING’s FOR YOU respite program for moms in need.  It didn’t begin and end in the Presbyterian Church basement. My volunteer time extended upstairs to the Senior Daycare Program and down the street to the Marquette Coalition for Emergency Services, designing a food pantry program and more fun than I can remember (though I’m sure Miriam would have.)

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Miriam found me shortly after we moved to Marquette in 1987.  Shortly thereafter, I was rocking babies at the THIS MORNING’s FOR YOU respite program for moms in need.  It didn’t begin and end in the Presbyterian Church basement. My volunteer time extended upstairs to the Senior Daycare Program and down the street to the Marquette Coalition for Emergency Services, designing a food pantry program and more fun than I can remember (though I’m sure Miriam would have.)

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Some years later I knew the blessing that daycare program provided myself, as it provided me with a few hours of respite in my caregiving of my mother as she suffered Alzheimer’s Disease.

Miriam also nourished me - including me in the writers group she and Earl were a part of.  I felt honored to be a part of that impressive group.

I once asked Miriam the source of her joy. Her response has provided much thoughtful consideration. “I’ve always felt loved.” So, there you have it. The answer. Love.

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Miriam at my parents’ anniversary party — sent with love and fond memories from Kate Collard

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Miriam at my parents’ anniversary party — sent with love and fond memories from Kate Collard

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You don't get as much done in a day as mom did without being ruthlessly organized.  I once talked to her at 8 a.m. and she said she was already and hour and half behind schedule.  Here she happens to be planning the most efficient route for the church carolers to reach the all the shut-ins and still make it back to the house in time for chili and chicken soup.

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Mining Journal Chamber of Commerce Citizen of the Year Miriam Hilton 2-14-00

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Miriam Elder Hilton Week in the City of Marquette

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Miriam Elder Hilton Week in the City of Marquette

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city of Marquette proclamation, Mirian Elder Hilton Week, 10-14-14

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Telling Northern's History with Miriam Hilton

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Telling Northern's History with Miriam Hilton

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Apologies for the orientation...
Photo clearly taken at church, suggesting that is where a copy of the book was available, or perhaps mom agreed to give the journalist 30 minutes amongst her other tasks.

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Telling Northern's History with Miriam Hilton 9-19-98

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A tribute from her friend Darlene Leafgren  

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A tribute from her friend Darlene Leafgren  

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Thank you for sending me word that Miriam died earlier this month.  You are right that I would want to know.  But when you have gone through her contacts, you can only partly guess about the impact Miriam has had on the lives of so many people, including me.

Back as an undergraduate and then later graduate student, I took almost every class your father, Dr Hilton, taught at the University of MI in Marquette.  Then when my family returned in 1985 from our years in Unalakleet, AK, a native fishing village on Norton Sound, we lived in Manistique for a year and I renewed my contact with your parents--actually sent a photo of me holding salmon I had caught upriver.  Next came the years of my driving over from here in the Superior/Duluth area where we settled permanently and where I trained and raced sled dogs.  For nine years I raced in the UP Midnight Run, staying before and after the race in the big white house on 403 E. Arch Street, your parents hosting a dinner party of friends the night before the race and the next night showing up to watch my team start the race.  In the later years after your father died and I had resumed doing the shorter race out of Gwinn, your mother was at the finish line to congratulate me on my top finishes.  My husband and I were part of the celebration of her 80th birthday.  And two years ago I made one final visit in September to be with Miriam.  It was hard to see the changes in her physically and to know she would soon need to leave Arch Street.  But I always  knew she had the loving support of her family, especially you and your husband who lived near by.

There is another level to our relationship/to her support of me as a person, a woman, a person who has always been something of an outlier.   She affirmed that for me to live into being fully alive included deep connections with the outdoor world--animals, adventure, beauty--and with the life of the mind and heart that comes through reading, always reading.   I didn't know back in the 80's and 90's that these ways of being would evolve into the contemplative integrating of all manner of reading, especially poetry, and into spiritual direction through the Benedictine Monastery.  In recent years it has meant being a listener to people on the margins, often on the streets, often with people of color.  Now this once socially insecure girl/woman leans into the adventure of seeing and affirming the presence of Christ in most any stranger who is not a stranger for long.

What Miriam modeled for me is so well expressed in the obituary she wrote:   She lived fully in her community, and that community had a universality to it.  Her "table" was large.

I'm attaching the photo her housekeeper Heidi took of us during that last time Miriam welcomed me into her home.

Darlene

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Serving a marmalade cake she made for her 80th birthday

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Not a carrot cake--but her recipe for the carrot cake

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Not a carrot cake--but her recipe for the carrot cake

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We had a funny discussion in the family zoom  during which cousins insisted that mom's favorite cake was a marmalade cake and we her children were quite adamant that she was faithful to her delicious carrot cake.  Lo and behold, here's a photo of her with the marmalade cake.  If you want that recipe, just google Jan Karon marmalade cake.  But if you want her carrot cake recipe, here it is.No baking instructions included but she assumed you can figure that out. Cream cheese frosting recommended.
Fresh carrot cake --loaf or bundt pan

1 1/2 cups corn oil

1 3/4 c. sugar

3 eggs

2 cups all purpose flour

2 tsp. soda

1 tsp. salt

2 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

2 cups peeled and grated carrots (8 medium carrots)

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

1 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 cup chopped walnuts

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Mom wrote this in February 2020 for a column in the Marquette Monthly.  The photo is from Kermanshah, 1934. Dave, Alice, Bill, Joe, John & Miriam Elder 

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If you grow up in a country like Iran where water is very scarce you realize what a precious resource it is.

Kermanshah, where I first lived, had very hot summers with virtually no precipitation.  For centuries people preserved water from the nearby Zagros Mountain in covered cisterns.  Our home in the mission compound had a tank on the roof that collected rainwater which then went straight into the bathroom for bathing.  Water for gardening came through a ditch, which people diverted with small dams toward their gardens. This resulted in water disputes much like the ones my husband Earl later told me were so prevalent in his home state of Wyoming, with downstream users complaining that those upstream had taken more that was rightfully theirs.  Later on, in Tehran, miles of underground aqueducts called qanats brought water from the foothills of the Elburz Mountains into the city.  I remember men and women with tin buckets going down underground staircases to collect water from the qanats.

The most precious water was always our drinking water.  In every city, our drinking water was delivered by donkeys carrying large tin cans and then placed in large earthenware jars in our courtyard.  From there it would be taken into the house to be boiled and  placed in smaller jars for drinking. There were always two jugs of drinking water in the house--one cooling and the other, with an enamel cup on top, for drinking. When we left the house we always carried our canvas covered metal canteens because we were never sure where we would find safe drinking water.  I have vivid memories of hiking in the mountains alongside burbling cold brooks, but being allowed to drink only the stale warm water from our canteens.  When we rounded the bend in the path we could often see why--there would be a flock of sheep standing in the stream.

Dry as it was, almost every home had a pool or pond.  Many were fairly small, only ten or twelve feet in diameter, and used mostly to water plants in the courtyard and to sprinkle on the paving bricks to help keep them cool.  In Kermanshah my father had a larger pool built that we could also use to swim in, and because they had young children (I was the oldest of six) he built one end very shallow with a fence separating that end from the deep end, so that little ones could dabble in the shallow part while the adults swam in the deep end.  One summer day when he was away and I was four years old, my mother decided to teach me to swim.  When my father came home I was sitting on the edge of the pool by the deep end and suddenly jumped in. Just as he was about to jump in after me I turned over on my back, kicking and laughing.  I’ll never forget how proud he was of me.

I also remember swimming in the pool in the mission gardens above Hamadan.  The water came straight from a mountain stream and was very very cold.  My father wore a one-piece wool swimming suit that covered his chest and back and I remember that he would splash cold water on his stomach before immersing himself in the pond.  There was a physician there with us who had come to Iran fleeing Hitler’s Germany.  She always jumped right in and started swimming her vigorous strokes.  Even my father was a little mortified that he could not tolerate the cold water as well as she could.

Many years later I came to the U.P.,  married to a Wyoming fisherman whose favorite line was “let’s follow this road--maybe there’s a stream down there.”  Lake Superior, at least in July or August, was still warmer than those mountain streams in Hamadan.  At 95, I am now grateful for the beach wheelchair at Clark Lambros Park that still allows me to immerse myself in our  beautiful lake.  I will never take our precious water for granted.

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Mom writes her history, 1947 to 1997, with illustration.  

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Mom writes her history, 1947 to 1997, with illustration.  

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mom's 50th anniversary letter and family tree

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She asked us to each raise our hands as our names were mentioned.  Aaron is cooperating.  Jackson Hole Wyoming, 2010

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Outdoing herself--again.  She's reading a poem in which she mentions each of the more than 50 people at a Hilton family reunion.  

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Outdoing herself--again.  She's reading a poem in which she mentions each of the more than 50 people at a Hilton family reunion.  

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The missionary kids sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Farsi.  

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The missionary kids sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Farsi.  

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Most of them are wearing shirts they got at Joe and Jo's 50th, a mere 13 years before this reunion at Lake Geneva in 2014.  Once again you'll have to click "open in a new window" to hear them singing.

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The missionary kids sing Jesus Loves Me in Farsi

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Dear extended Godwin family,

Margaret’s mother, Miriam Elder Hilton, died this weekend at age 96 while in hospice care. Miriam was recently bedridden and unable to care for herself.  Margaret was in Marquette at the time of her death helping to feed her mother and relieving her elder sister, Ann, who has been caring for her mother for many, many months, if not years.  We appreciate your condolences, but would prefer your appreciation of a life well lived. I offer some too-brief thoughts below about an extraordinary person who lived a long, full, and inspiring life.  I’ve pasted in at the end a slightly outdated obituary that Miriam wrote herself, with is far too modest. We all want to have meaningful lives and make a positive contribution to the world, however modest.  Miriam Hilton exceeded those expectations.

Miriam’s obituary doesn’t explain that she raised five children in a somewhat unstructured household that nonetheless was filled with love, books, poetry, and music, and all of her children have gone on to live successful professional and family lives; she earned a second master’s degree; cared in her home for her father-in-law through his dementia and decline; managed her husband’s depression, insomnia, and various neuroses; gave tireless service to her church in various ways for several decades; served on the local planning board; started and managed for 20 years an adult day care center for the disabled; prepared and served countless dinners to widows and down-on-their-luck local residents, and, after her children moved on, opened her home to dozens of students at Northern Michigan University from the U.S. and around the world, many of whom came to view her as their second mother and have gone on to successful lives. She recovered from having her legs broken after being run over by an automobile and remained active for at least another two decades, if not more.  This list doesn’t include all her service to Girl Scouts, Marquette Hospital, and others she alludes to in her obituary and many other things I’ve either forgotten about or didn’t know. She touched and improved the lives of many, many people, including me.  She believed in and lived a life of Christian service, and despite her disappointment that her children didn’t embrace her Presbyterian faith, they all manifest her deep love and compassion for others and a sense of duty to the wider world.  What a wonderful life and legacy!  We can’t live up to Miriam’s example, but can be inspired by it and give thanks for her life.

Love,

Steve

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Almost certainly backstage somewhere, before or after a Nutcracker performance.

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I've been going through Mom's emails, and I ran across this response in 2018 to a letter from her congressman explaining that he'd voted against the budget because "our national debt and deficit has gone off the rails".  Mom's one-sentence response:
"Yet where were those qualms about the deficit when you voted for the tax cut?"

The photo is at a March for Our Lives demo in March 2018, in the snow. She also told that same congressman (in response to a letter about an art contest) "Art is good. Gun control is also"

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Eve had been without her own Mom for more than forty years when we married, and instantly claimed my mother as Mom Hilton. Mom, who could always spread her arms a little wider, welcomed her new daughter-in-law wholeheartedly. Here they are at the camp open house in October 2016.

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A note from Addie Marceau, for many years the church secretary and always a good friend (admire the shirt).  

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A note from Addie Marceau, for many years the church secretary and always a good friend (admire the shirt).  

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I loved working with your Mother all those years, beginning when Rob and Barbie were in 2nd Grade until I retired from the office in 2012.  Over those years we worked  on so many things from Christian Ed, church Bazaars and sometimes just small potluck dinners when everyone else couldn’t or wouldn’t come.   We always seemed to be the backup team.   I just love her dearly.  Over all those years we worked until we could almost drop in our tracks and we shared many laughs  and we had seen each other go through some tough times.  She became like a spare mother, along with Lottie,  Claire , Marion Janet and Florence.  I was blest to be surrounded by so many wonderful Mothers, especially when I lost my Mother and Husband, 5 weeks apart at the age of 34.    I really, must tell you the story about my Granddaughter Abby who used to sit with them and sort historical paper clippings at the age of about 4 years.  Guess what she wants for Christmas this year ?
History Books 📚.   I have a copy of the history Book that your Mother wrote years ago.  Some day I will pass it to Abby. She was an Amazing Woman.

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Telling the story of the snake that got away and cracking herself up.  

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Telling the story of the snake that got away and cracking herself up.  

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It's a pretty good story, as you can tell.  She's holding it up by the neck in the top photos having found it wrapped around a chair during a proper tea party for some elderly friends. Of course the student who owned the snake wasn't around when it was found, many weeks after he reported it missing, so mom had to deal with it herself.

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Dear Ann.  I never knew Miriam but I have met you.   I can see where you come from.  I truly wish I had met your mother.  I’m so sorry for your loss.

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Dear Ann.  I never knew Miriam but I have met you.   I can see where you come from.  I truly wish I had met your mother.  I’m so sorry for your loss.

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Ruth. Iel

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In February, 2009, I was still just getting to know Miriam. She called me one day and asked if my daughter, Hayley, and I would be interested in seeing the Glacier Glide art exhibit at Presque Isle Park. It just so happened that Hayl had a project on display. So, of course, we went along.

Dan Barrington’s “Sasquatch Jamboree” was a big hit. I suggested that Hayl, her boyfriend at the time, Joe, and Miriam pose with the sculptures. Miriam was game for it, and we all had a blast.

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She had the winning ticket.  You can guess what she did with it.

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She had the winning ticket.  You can guess what she did with it.

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Mom always shopped at Super One, and though she never would have entered a drawing (because it's a form of gambling) in this case she won automatically at the cash register. It was ten $100 gift certificates to the store. She gave the first one to the the young man who helped her bring her groceries to the car. Then she gave $100 to the church. Then she had great fun giving away the other nine gift certificates. She said it was certainly more fun giving them away than it would have been spending them.

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Mom took tai chi for many years.  Even after she retired from the adult day services program she founded, she continued to return every week to lead tai chi there.  But in this case, we were doing tai chi in my daughter Betsy's yard in Arizona in the winter of 2016.  That makes mom 91 in this photo.

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A student boarder explains how living at 403 East Arch was a life-changing experience. (Published on Facebook, August 2020)

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A student boarder explains how living at 403 East Arch was a life-changing experience. (Published on Facebook, August 2020)

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Although I do not remember the exact date, it was 37 years ago, during the last half of August of 1983, that my life was fundamentally changed… for the better! I was beginning my junior year at Northern Michigan University in the quaint little city of Marquette, situated on the shore of Lake Superior. I had transferred from Carson-Newman College, a small Baptist school near Knoxville and I was excited to begin a new chapter.

I had spent a week in Marquette in July for orientation and had decided that I would look for lodging off campus. I came very close to signing a lease to occupy a room in the home of an older woman named Inez Lahti (who, as I recall, lived on Fair Avenue near the campus) but she had strict rules (no cooking privileges, no laundry privileges, no staying out late) and so I continued my search. But there were a lot of students looking for rooms and so I heard “no longer available” as a reply to my inquiries. When it was time to catch a plane back to Tennessee at the end of the week, I still had not found a place to stay.

I have always believed that God puts people in our path who can help us when we are in need, and a pastor in the Marquette area who was slightly acquainted with my father through the Southern Baptist network explained my plight to one of his church members, a woman named Olive Hillier. Mrs. Hillier worked at Marquette General Hospital and often lunched with Miriam Hilton who volunteered at the hospital every Wednesday. Miriam had been opening up her home to student boarders since the mid 1970s and when Olive mentioned that she knew a young guy who was searching for a place to stay, Miriam said that a room in her house was available and that he was welcome to move in. Olive wrote to me with Miriam’s address, told me that I was expected the week before classes began and assured me that I would be very happy there.

So on that August afternoon as I drove up Front Street, I spotted the street sign for Arch and turned right, toward the lake. I looked at every house number until I found 403. It was a charming Victorian with big maple trees in the front yard. The wood siding had obviously been freshly painted white as it fairly gleamed in the late day sun, and the steep gabled roof was a patchwork of green stamped-metal panels.

I approached the front door with slight hesitation, as it was never easy for me to meet strangers, but I mustered my courage and rapped loudly. The door was opened by an attractive gray-haired woman with a face that radiated goodness. “Are you Jeff?” she asked and when I nodded, she invited me in and led me to the dining room, where the evening meal was underway. She was obviously entertaining guests, as there were several people eating and chatting. “This is the new student boarder,” Miriam announced as she set a place for me at the big oval table. “He has driven up from Tennessee.” “Oh, you are in a foreign country now,” someone joked. “Have you ever been this far north?” asked someone else. I was welcomed by everyone and made to feel right at home. “Jeff is a preacher’s son,” Miriam added. “And I am told that he is a very good and helpful boy.”

I was a little embarrassed… especially because I was not sure that I was a good boy. In fact, the very reason that I had transferred from Carson-Newman was because I had gone through a very bleak period there and was convinced that I was actually a very bad boy. You see, I am gay, and at that time in my life I did not want to be. At Carson-Newman I had fallen deeply in love with my roommate. He did not know, and I could not discuss my feelings with him. I fought against those feelings as hard as I could, but they resisted my efforts and I was miserable. I had been brought up in the Baptist Church and had been taught that homosexuality was an insult to God and would guarantee an eternity of damnation. Despite my fight to change and push those inclinations out of my life, I could not escape them. I thought that if I got as far away as I could from the temptations, I would find peace. And that long journey had led me to Miriam’s front door.

I lived with Miriam and her husband, Earl, for two years and something profound happened to me. The dark cloud I was living under disappeared completely and my life was warmed by the glow of Miriam’s kindness and generosity of spirit. I never discussed my gay feelings with her and she never knew how she was changing my life, but she was the salve that my soul needed so desperately. She was so accepting of everyone, no matter who they were or who they loved. She was a devout Christian, never missing a service at the Presbyterian Church. And she devoted so much of her time to doing good things in the community, bringing cheer to those who often had so little to be cheerful about. The way she lived her life helped me to heal, to accept myself and realize that I was still loved by God, that my feelings were not some terrible sin condemning me to the fires of hell.

When I graduated from NMU and my father drove up for the ceremony, he was told by several people that Miriam “is the angel of Marquette” and now that my friendship with her is approaching its fortieth year, I know they were right. I left Marquette with my self-confidence restored and the comforting knowledge that I could live my life being true to myself. And I have done just that in the many years since.

When I moved out of my room in May of 1985, it was soon occupied by another student who, no doubt, was also made a better a person from the experience of being there.  After my time living in that charming white house with its green metal roof came to an end, the student boarders who followed me were primarily from foreign lands. And how lucky they were to be introduced to America through Miriam, for she is the very best example of what being a good person means. None of us students were ever asked to pay any rent. We were just expected to help with chores. My chore was shoveling the driveway and sidewalks after snowfalls, a job I relished!

The last student left in the spring of 2019. It had been almost 45 years since the first student had moved in. Miriam has a strong constitution and energy that never seems to wane, but the years have finally caught up with her. She is now living in an assisted living facility, but even with limited mobility and the added isolation that COVID has wrought, she continues to radiate joy.

~ Jeffrey Carrier

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Talking about the social gospel for StoryCorps

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Talking about the social gospel for StoryCorps

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In the summer of 2014 the StoryCorps bus came to Marquette and parked outside the library. We worked out most of the questions in advance so she had a chance to figure out what she wanted to say. I'm grateful that StoryCorps also provides a transcript (also at the link), but of course it's wonderful to hear her voice.

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StoryCorps uses Google Cloud Speech-to-Text and Natural Language API to provide machine-generated transcripts. Transcripts have not been checked for accuracy and may contain errors. Learn more about our FAQs through our Help Center or do not hesitate to get in touch with us if you have any questions.

00:03 My name is Ann Hilton Fisher. I'm 66 years old today is July 16th, 2014. We're in Marquette Michigan and I'm here to interview my mother Miriam Elder Hilton.

00:16 I'm Miriam Elder Hilton. I'm 89 years old and it is July 16th 2014 in Marquette, Michigan and I man's mother.

00:28 All right.

00:31 You know, we talked a lot about what we're going to discuss and I said what I was really interested is your sort of

00:38 History as a missionary kid and how you lived out the Social Gospel in Marquette briefly. Let's record what your path was from? Kermanshah Iran to Marquette Michigan is born in kermanshah Iran. My parents were from New Jersey and Pennsylvania their Presbyterian foreign missionaries assigned to the criminal Shell station in 1920, and I was born there after a couple of miscarriages which I think is one reason. I've always felt so blessed and be loved because I was the first child A6 who was really brought up in come and she'll have it on in Tehran Iran from Tehran. I we spent a year and

01:24 Ridgewood New Jersey witches with church that supports my dad.

01:28 And had a very unusual for me for for public school experience and went back to Iran ran out of school for foreign children at that point ended up at a college for women came back and went to boarding school and Walnut Hill, New Jersey, which is Walnut Hill, Massachusetts, which is very close to Wellesley College where my mother's older sister by Agnes was of head of house and live from Walnut Hill. I went to Wellesley.

02:00 For four years and then my senior year had a friend who had had a fellowship at Iowa State and she didn't want to take it. So she asked me if I would like to go out and her Fellowship the professor and Iowa state was a little surprised to have these substitute, but she accepted it. She's going to be okay, but her feel it was consumer economics, which I sound very very very sad sound very useful in very interesting. It was a year after the was 1946. When I graduate I was at Iowa State and 47 46 and 47 and the class was full of g i p for the school on the GI bills. My classes were mostly Philip full of man, which I thought was wonderful because I'm good. Happy marriage was one of my big goals in life, but they all had wedding rings, but one of the students

02:49 I shared an office with a secretary and she the secretaries English Professor invited her to their house. And she said can I bring along this graduate student and he said sure and the graduate student. I was a graduate student and his roommate was Earl Hilton who became my husband so is very fortunate going to Iowa State when I did and it didn't matter that all the rest of them already had wedding rings at this party that has his Bachelor husband is best for roommate was giving for his students and I was just horning in on and they look it's the same as story that they said I said, I don't drink cuz of anything else and they said those sandwiches and I got there and there wasn't wearing any sandwiches made. So I went to the closet was really the kitchen was the kitchenette to make sandwiches and Earl came in and he gave me a kiss and he said I didn't seem to mind and so from then on we were set for Mary the next Jews.

03:51 How old were you when you came from Iran to the US which time I came fruit know when you've to boarding school out for boarding school? I was 14 and then how often did you see your parents after that not till I graduate from college. So you went from 14 until 82 or so 18 to 20. 20 people don't realize that that you know these missionary kids months. They left they were lucky to see their parents every seven years that I'm texting more traumatic was when I was in third grade. My folks have been mother been tutoring me and there were two other children in the compound who are my very best friends and they were going to go away to school and have it done because there was a professional teacher that the missionary parents and tired and have it done and they were both going and I was just frantic I was six years old at the time but here was my very best friend going off and to be nobody for me to play with and I yelled and screamed at me.

04:51 Folks until they let me go and I was late I couldn't live in the same house that they were living in and I couldn't live in the I had to live with an elderly couple doctor his wife who never had children of Their Own.

05:06 And when I first got I taken the car but it was a passenger in a car and was dropped off at the American Mission compound and I heard the kids calling ollie-ollie-oxen-free and I thought my goodness they don't even speak English and how long were you in hamadan away from your parents at age six a year and I couldn't see her at age 6 at 9 months rather. I couldn't go back at Christmas because my family had chickenpox. So I did go back in the spring go to six months there before I was when I did wasn't with my family at that you so I've always been pretty in the I guess starting at age 6 in what way do you think your life is been shaped by the fact that your parents were missionaries go completely because we were absolutely

05:55 Persuaded that we were particularly that we were loved and that God had admission for each of us and for my parents and Mission was to bring the gospel to the Muslims in Iran, which is not an easy task. But we were we were minority with all the things that should have made made us feel uncomfortable. We're okay because we were loved and we were doing the right thing. You know, I'm talkin about the term Social Gospel. Is that a term you use is that a term your parents used or yes mother and it will mother and dad were products of it because the Social Gospel message was it doesn't matter so much what you believe is what you do and they were this was they were going out to be missionaries to help people.

06:43 Live better lives because the gospel would change their / self-perception and they're feeling of self-worth and dignity and I think all my life I've had the feeling that it was very important to do the right thing and to share your love and to be good people to help people.

07:04 The Social Gospel with an emphasis in their early twenties but said it doesn't matter what you believe. It doesn't matter whether you say I've been saved or someone has saved you what matters is how you live and if you live in loving life is service, you're a Christian no matter whether you actually stood up and said you were Christian and that was the course heresy too many people including many of my friends at Wellesley because they said the Social Gospel is heretical. It doesn't say that you have to believe in Jesus Christ as your lord and savior just as you have to live a good life and that's not true. But I think it is and the social worker and sort of what you see is the biblical basis for the Social Gospel or when did I see you hungry and fed you and I see you naked in Clovis you when did I see you stick in prison and visited you and these these are the people than the last judgment.

08:00 Did I supposed to be put on the route to heaven?

08:05 And the Social Gospel actually was basis for many of the people very involved in things like the Civil Rights Movement Rino. Absolutely. So it was really very much a voice for reform and Progressive thought in child labor laws and sort of pro-union things and Healthcare System to that was when you first came to Marquette, what were your impressions? What year was it? 1950? All right, and we've had my husband had a job at eastern central Mission Central Washington college education in Ellensburg, Washington right now, and he was finishing up his PhD at the University of Minnesota.

08:50 And working very hard that year and we're very disappointed to find his contract was not renewed in April. They told us you have to go somewhere else and and was too and Susan was about to be born in June. It was not a good time to be with her without work. And so we gone back to Wyoming where are his parents had a spare house that they let us live in it didn't have any electricity but no running water, but they were very good to us. That summer was a difficult summer though in the end of the year or was making his living cutting logs for fifteen cents a lug if they made it about I think $5 a day if was a good day, but this call came from northern Michigan. He wasn't he was registered where the teachers placement Bureau and the call came saying we have a community concert and the fishing's good. Do you want to come t-shirt Northern and we wouldn't come if they hadn't had any music or any fishing because it was a job and it was a very difficult Journey here.

09:50 Car kept breaking down and and and kept reassuring us that the big truck will come and take us away. Nice man with tow truck tow truck that is up to so I love being in Marquette. I like we came in the fall and the Ellensburg there been a lot of gold in the fall, but we came here and then Maples are beginning to turn and it was lovely country. But we had a house we could rent that we couldn't go right into it. So we're in the motel for the two babies and when the his history Professor Tim and his wife came to visit us and he said later when I enrolled in one of those classes. I've never seen anyone start out and it worse than you did but we thought it was great. Water you been running water and electricity.

10:44 What were the first day activities you got involved with him Marquette by the church. Of course, I can remember what I'm driving up Front Street and seeing the Presbyterian church and saying oh how wonderful look at that beautiful. It is going to be my home. I didn't know how long but I thought it hoped it would be a while and we began going. I began going to church right away. And one of the nicest nicest things that happen Adidas women Ethel carry admit me one of the early Gatherings and talked about we talked about the church. She mentioned or ask me I guess and she said well, we would you would you and your daughter like a ride to church on Sunday mornings that I said, that would be wonderful. So four whole years. She drove me every Sunday morning to church and I put an in the nursery where she seemed to get along fine and enjoyed the church and began to get join the women's organizations.

11:38 Move right up into the hierarchy and don't you ever mention though that in some ways the town was sort of closed off that there was something of a town-gown to buy that there were clubs. You were supposed to make friends with and then get invited to what was tell Missy a little more about that.

11:59 Will there be there were number of

12:02 The two things were different there were number of clubs in town study groups. They were called that had the did invite faculty wives and you were expected really to join one of the fact that he was groups one of those clubs and then sacked my department chair said join whichever one invites you but unfortunately none of them invited but I did had made up my mind. Anyway that I would not try to do something like that anymore than I would learn to.

12:32 Play a good hand of bridge which is my what my department chair is who I thought was really most important because so much of your social activity centered around bridge, but I knew I had two children already and I wanted to finish my Master's I never did finish the one I went to to Minnesota to work on and soda made a decision early on not to go into anything except a UW American Association of University women. I've been a member of that in Washington when the year we were there and that have been a difficult time because the numbers there were very conservative with their members of the John Birch Society what you may remember and I had so I had to kind of academics intellectual struggle there and I talked to some of the members and they said, oh it's not going to be like that wherever else you go. So I never was but we never had any political problems that I was aware of it and UW and I did enjoy my 50 some years there.

13:27 You talked about never wanting to be a member of a club that had a restricted membership right? Tell me how you told me that that was shaped by your mother's experience. Why don't you tell us that very the mother went to Wellesley College and she was she went there because she wanted to be a missionary in India because they didn't have needed women doctors just to serve women and she joined Agora which is it the political science science Society really government and years later was on that was the start of a sorority and years later. She told me she all the time. I was too I think I think I was going to go to Wellesley. There was any question but she did say at one point that she was really sorry. She joined it because it was a sort of snobbish thing.

14:18 I don't really think it was that bad but she did and so when I went to LC I didn't pledge her look to join any of the societies and later had lots of arguments. Well some about why would choose not to join something that I had to be invited to go to something. I could anyone could join before we leave Wells way cuz I think it's irrelevant. What's the Wellesley model non ministrari SED ministrare not to be ministered unto but to minister the video of the popular translation is not to be ministers with Minister's Wife. The service idea was absolutely invented all the way through college. Did your privilege privilege women and you are obliged and it's your responsibility to spread the this privilege spell doo-doo. What good you can

15:18 My computer course at that point most of you got married and did it and volunteer work. But of course nowadays everybody is working until it's a different is a different aspect was still a high proportion of it, but she was going to nonprofits their careers are nonprofits are in science summer summer course a really successful business people, but by and large you look over the class notes of the things they're proud of is the boys they serve out of there till today sauce calories charcoal societies that they help promote discussion now in

15:55 I don't know what sort of progressive circles about privilege and check your privilege and be aware of your privilege and it's interesting that Wellesley, obviously not just 60 years ago or seventy years ago, I guess is when you were at Wellesley, but presumably a hundred years ago when Grandma was at Wellesley right was basically saying Check Your Privilege be aware of your privilege and right. It's right and you have a privilege brings obligations. Absolutely and I think it's true that none of your children I've ever joined anything where you had to be invited either.

16:33 I remember that sometimes actually let's talk about some some sort of General themes.

16:43 Let's just pick up on the one you been talkin about. Let's talk about women's issues. So you went to a woman's college and women's college. Would you believe that women were more than just Housewives right or even ministers wives you came here. You joined a UW American Association of University women, right? What was a UW doing in Marquette?

17:10 It was doing at that point. It was mostly doing educating ourselves about the community. We did a lot of of speakers from Social Work organizations and things like that looking for places. We could help it always we were doing money-raising for swimming scholarships for women. That was one of the main tenets all the time about some of those money racing events involved in my very favorite we had from the time we were kids and we always did a lot of good deal of it which is films which was wonderful. We've had great fun with it. But a UW put on some children's place for about 10 years. They cooperated with the superintendent of schools. Who is it really a dramatic Drama teacher at heart to put on these wonderful mood of fairy tales.

18:07 But it was hard to test them all when we were all women and Ruth some do some of those in a couple of young women who were pretty Charming Prince Charming's but not quite enough and it got to be difficult. And so the Episcopal Church women heads organized in their Guild a puppet marionette troupe. They have made built marry an estimate at a folding stage and they offered to sell the whole thing to you. So a 1960 we bought it and for the next

18:36 Forty years and UW put on a marionette show for the public schools in Marquette every year using the folding stage and the marionettes should have been originally given to soldiers in 1960 that we made lots of new marionettes and lots of new costumes and lots of news settings, but it was really great fun because but hard work because we had to carry this the stage and it was in big boxes and carried up and down and set it up on the stage and it took about six weeks every month every year to rehearse it and to put it on and to put it down again, but it was we just loved it and people will still say where you would have the Puppeteer or should I say? Oh, yes and you charge and that's how you raise money for scholarships $0.25 a person right? And if the kids could do it the school usually paid and it eventually the schools would just pay us and I don't know if they'd I think they always

19:36 Continue to charge the kids though. It was probably closer to 50 years.

19:41 Oh, absolutely. You were still doing it in the still doing it until till till till trouble years ago. There was a great fun and it was one of the one of those and we just loved it because the kids loved it and we loved it and we

19:57 We would take the puppets after we after we were through as we would take them out and show them in the kids would say how did they get so little and they seem like full-size people. How did you happen to be involved in trick-or-treat for Unicef?

20:15 That was from a UW because these some of the arw branches in other cities were doing it. And so I thought we should have it here and I got the boxes and told my kids they had to go around with boxes and get pennies for you two sentences instead of candy for themselves. And I don't think they were particularly delighted by brownie troops involved in Girl Scouts and Girl Scouts troop for many years. I just great idea that if I you were in the first grade and she was in third and I figured I better take the brownies in second grade. So I wouldn't be showing favoritism. Either one. That's why I ended up with all three troops and want to hear another first. One of the most happiest memories of the Browning of the Girl Scouts is when I had a troop in met Messiah Lutheran Church of Juniors and you would come walking down from the high school and be my assistant house keys.

21:14 Cook-Out Master remember I do remember doing that that was really a lot of friends who was in The Troop. So we had a whole family of Girl Scout for what for and I remember the John birchers weren't happy about trick-or-treat for Unicef either. So they weren't we had some controversy. There was some letters in the paper about this was a bad thing to do but in times and they got to be many of the churches did join him and we had I think it's still going some places and it's mostly know. The churches will do it one or two churches will do it until we will

21:48 It is reported with supporting the United Nations. So it was the same black helicopters fear of the United Nations and international law that you see among the tea party now.

22:00 So it was really this America first, right and you getting the sort of international Outlook from your parents house Shores. I seen remember a story where in their retirement home their retirement community, but you're supposed to fly the American flag and they flew the UN flag, you know, I tell that story about them often.

22:22 I think that was it right now. I think the an American flag out there to write but the other thing they did not Community many of them were former missionaries and they sue the flags of the countries where they been missionaries was interesting to I'm a little worried about time and I want to make sure we get some really important things talk a little about some of your efforts with church sort of your service in various Church offices and I want to hear about mads go ahead and well as I said did the Christian church have been ordained when women to the ministry both the ruling Elder which has a member of the session of the church the ruling Board of the church and the preaching Elder which is the teaching outer they call it which is the actual Minister the preacher and both have been recently.

23:22 Admitted with the denomination had recently admitted women to both of those positions and roughly. When was this, you know, you know, roughly when this was in there was a early forties that they own the early 40s. Yeah. So we've been on the books for quite a while but Marquette hadn't done it. But the first when I was here at 6 second year or two years after I was here they are they in the first women that woman Minister who was the wife of the registrar Northern and then they estimate they asked me two years later if I would like to be the second and I was just very proud and very pleased to be it and very worried about what I was going to wear to be work today. And what did you wear black hats and we were between Ministers of the time. So the chaplain of the Year based came out in ordained me was kind of but some of the I heard somebody say, I'm never going to take communion from a wolf

24:22 Women Elder and that particular person became a very active Elder herself in later years. So really so the attitudes changed internally in the whole session became at least half women of the deacons 4/2 women. We had a separate Board of Deaconess Deaconess has who did the the dishwashing for the teacher?

24:50 Adult and Elder. I really enjoyed feeling that I was part of the

24:54 Government of the church and I really enjoyed the people I worked with because they all seem to be committed and really interested in the welfare of the congregation the welfare of the community. We had a number of community organizations that met in the church. That was a boy scout troop in there had been one year. There was a Chinese

25:15 That was really back for the back in Chinese boys Sunday school class, but we had we received a request from a couple of sisters in California thing. Y'all the church could do what they wanted to and I was really glad to be able to stay there. Let's not save it and put it in the endowment. Let's spend it on something useful. So we chose three things. When was a director of Christian education. When was electricity reason the third was daycare for elderly women a good many of elderly people many of my friends have older women older parents and they needed things for them to do. So we organized what we called Marquette senior day care center got in the corporated as a non-profit wrote The Blood by laws and got her permission from the church to use a one of the Sunday School rooms for the program and it was from the very beginning designed to relieve the caregivers who had people frail elderly people that they couldn't leave alone and a

26:15 Is a frail elderly a chance to socialize among themselves?

26:19 Each other and we had always had really really good stuff. We were able to find for years. They we only paid staff we had was bookkeepers way cuz we had enough volunteers. Otherwise now it has grown considerably and it's still operating and is a non nonprofit with its own board of directors and everybody's paid but there still is no way anyone can we have no finantial? Well, let's put this way. There is a sliding scale, but if people can't afford to pay they come anyway that's been something that they've held held onto I was director for volunteer director for 20 years and then stayed on the board of directors for another 10 until someone ran across an article somewhere saying that people should not be on boards forever and it sure was six years was biggest her my friend Florence Berrington. I decided after 32 years. We had to retire someone mention I could run again, but I haven't considered it seriously. Well, this is something

27:19 For nonprofit to make that bridge from the founder to carrying on without the founders very important. There's a thing called founder syndrome where people just can't give up the organization and I think it's so much to your credit that you were able to transition that into an independent Community organization. When at the start you were the person writing the grants raising the money and wiping the bottoms after people went to the toilet. It was pretty all-encompassing and let's touch on sort of your personal experience being an elder caregiver.

27:55 Oh, I was privileged one. Always you were the privilege, not at all. You had my very very difficult paternal grandfather to care for for many many many years, but I think he helped the fact that he came to live with us from Wyoming and was very unhappy in this country that was full so full of trees. You couldn't see anything and I did all the wrong things because when he would fantasize about things I would keep telling him it was wrong and he didn't know he'll try to set him straight and this was

28:30 I discovered very shortly after being to take training to work with these two Elder the frail elderly particular people with Alzheimer's that's a that's the one thing you do not do you never argue and you listen and in that connection to the other thing that came particularly from church was I took training as a Stephens Minister, which is person who assists the pastor with his past real calling and we were we were sign people who were at long-term difficulties and could stay with them and visit them every week and talk to them and help them to their difficulties by listening not by telling and as if the motto is we care we don't cure and people cure themselves we could care for them. And that was a very very useful training and everyone. I knew who took the Stephen's Ministry course of the same thing. It made a big difference in their lives and I just discovered yesterday that and noticed it to that. She said that's right. I noticed the change from the sort of the the teacher who always has the answer.

29:31 You know, what is always happy to tell people what the best thing for them to do is to somebody was more likely to listen and help people find the answer for themselves, which is often of course more successful than sex and see if they touch for I know that my sister Sue would be sorry. If we didn't talk about the changes you mention the changes look Presbyterian Church when it came to ordaining women the Presbyterian Church was just in the news just in the last month because they finally approved the ordination of gays and lesbians and allowed ministers to preside it gay and lesbian marriages were those are allowed writing where the church chooses to do. It. Actually those all have to be they were done better locals family, but they have to be approved by a two-thirds of the local presbyteries before it hasn't really happened yet. It hasn't really had. All right, but a very current issue is on his way. It's been an issue for 20 years. I had what's yours?

30:30 Curry been in connection with that whole issue the gay rights issue from having a real.

30:40 Two things happen. I remember being very upset because my youngest son was in a play. Well, it was some music man and someone told me that the director the band director the play was homosexual and he came over to see the see my son and I didn't even want to meet him. I thought I don't know what to do with this person. How can I speak to him? And then shortly after that suit came out that she was gay. So she was listed as much as sisters who made the second daughter and I thought she's going to miss going to pass through this just a phase because that was pretty popular in the 70s.

31:20 And is the dead and I never was quite sure. I knew she went to California. She has the number of employment issues. She was there was one point I think she was fired and and everybody went marched in protest. Don't fire suit. That's correct. That's correct. Right and she and I was pretty distant pretty far away from our new is happening and I was really proud of her for sticking up for who she was but it wasn't until I actually went out and met her partner and met her friends. I realized that lesbian love and lesbian living lesbian living together. We're just as comforting as a supporting and loving as any other marriage or relationship and that she was going to be just as happy as the kids who've had been okay?

32:09 Anyway, and then since then we had the young man who lived with us for while he went to school and he came out as gay and he's been he came back here the community and suddenly I realized that the community was full of gay people that enjoy the known all my life and never has been a very very much to transfer information and I'm very much better all better for it. Did you advocate for lgbtq rights in the Presbyterian Church. Did you advocate for lesbian and gay rights in the church?

32:45 Yes, because there's a there's a move to impact that came a while back. I'm on the social education action committee. There was a committee running a stupid declare ourselves at Covenant Church, which we met that we welcome gay and lesbians in it and not only membership at ordination but hasn't happened yet locally.

33:11 Couple things we haven't mentioned that you're pretty well known for are both your foreign students borders in your weekly dinner parties. How did those happen out of a tie in with our theme see what would my kids before they all left? I had this big house with empty rooms and thought there be students who might need things. And in fact that one of the first students who came to us was a African-American from Texas who turned out to be a really really really good person. And in fact left town under he was under arrest for having stolen some things and I'm really surprised that we came back from year with my Broad and I went back into it thinking that we still were students who need it and there are still students who need it and we've had a perfectly wonderful experiences with him and it's been both of us. Nice to know these people from 30 different countries over the years who lives with us.

34:07 And we started to have the dinners because one of my best friend's husband died and she died and he came to dinner and over the time. We've just collected people who've enjoyed having dinner with us. And so now we have Monday night and Tuesday night. We have 12 guests for dinner every night. This is really nice to have some help with it.

34:31 And my favorite hymn is Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee I was going to say

34:39 To what extent are you the same person you were in 1950 and to what extent of you changed what's changed? And what's the same question is what say was I really love people of places love singing your love music as join my life now, and I'm so blessed and where she is I guess it's the way that I'm able to carry out some of those blessings are not as economically strangest we used to be and so we can do more of that sort of thing. But at heart I'm a Christian has been always was madly in love with my husband and children and just blessed beyond words.

35:15 Any message you want to leave for Marquette or for your family hopes for a turd for your children for your community for the world. Peace. Love and friendship. How about that is not bad and service. What's at Wellesley model again? I think the only topic we really didn't discuss much if you want to is church women United.

35:43 Always have because it's an outgrowth of being member of church. I really enjoyed being part of the church women United Group, which is the five different denomination to meet together three times a year to share information about other countries and things to do and how we can best serve the Lord together in the city in the city and that's been a wonderful thing to do to we've supported Harbor House is so supported many of the local organizations designed to spread the gospel in terms of good works.

36:18 And has your

36:22 You mentioned that it Wellesley sort of this tension between you know, are you save the sort of Evangelical born-again Christianity and the living the gospel Christianity, which is what you grew up with and what you practice have your views changed on other religions, not just other denominations or Catholic vs Protestant, but muslim-hindu. Oh, yes, I think so because you have felt the conviction that Christianity was the only way to heaven was when I grew up with and I certainly changed that a lot because I've met so many people from other religions who are living the Social Gospel, you know, one of the points is came up was when Betsy married somebody who came from my daughter married somebody who came from a Hindu family and you read this wonderful book by this. I believe Yale Divinity professor.

37:16 Who talked about what was it about rivers to remember the many rivers have different than the Vault. So by the same all the rivers flow into the same see the carry the love of each other love of God and love each other for everyone. So does this mean we're all going to get to go to heaven? Sure. All right. I've always taken great comfort in your view that it's not having for you unless the rest of us. Are there anything else you want to say Mom? This is your chance of doing this. I think it's an adventure and I'm looking forward to reading the archive. All right. Thank you.

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Ann Hilton Fisher (66) interviews her mother Miriam Hilton (89) about what it was like being the child of missionary parents, the role that the Presbyterian Church and faith played in her life going forward, and the different types of ways that she involved herself in the Marquette, MI community.

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A 1949 visit to the Drake farm with toddler Ann and rides in the big red tractor.  

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A 1949 visit to the Drake farm with toddler Ann and rides in the big red tractor.  

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Drake Farm 1949.  The red tractor.  Miriam, Ann, Bill, Joe, Azzie, Dave, kittens

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Pieces of a Memoir

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Singing "Day is Dying in the West" with her Weezie, Dave, John and Azzie at the end of Ann & Bill's 50th anniversary celebration, July 2019

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Mom loved swimming in Lake Superior!  (2017)

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 After a family dinner out in August, 2017

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Mom and Sue

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Miriam and Miriam

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Mom shares some memories of Wellesley, including the day FDR died.

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MIriam Hilton remembers Wellesley during WW2

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So many amazing memories form these reunions.

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Easter in Marquette! With Mom out in the snow making sure there are some signs of spring, if only in the form of plastic eggs

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Mom telling the story of the Iranian creche that was given to her parents when they left Iran and now has a permanent home at the Marquette Presbyterian Church.  Don't forget to ring the bell on the camel's neck.  Hit "open in a new window" to go to Flickr and hear her tell the story.

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Kathy Houghton remembering Marquette Adult Day Services.  

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Kathy Houghton remembering Marquette Adult Day Services.  

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Miriam Hilton’s recent passing will touch the hearts of many. Miriam (front in the black) shared her signature smile at a Day Service’s picnic held in our yard just a few years ago. The Marquette Day Services, her brain child, enriched the lives of caregivers and loved ones and she dedicated time and energy for over 20 years, and on into her 90’s. Her Tia Chi lessons were always a highlight and sometimes she assisted me with sing alongs. A brilliant teacher, author, historian, and more, Miriam gave to the world with deep love and compassion. Miriam became my friend some 40 years ago, then a mentor and now an inspiration. I love thinking of the picture shared of her swimming in Lake Superior at 90. To her family, thank you for sharing. Her light enriched the world.