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How parents cope with empty-nest syndrome | Letters

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Accede a RTVE Play para ver ‘Se nos ha ido de las manos’, con Carles Tamayo, en el que se analizan temas que como sociedad hemos normalizado

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I Asked A Psychologist Why January Feels Like It Lasts So, So Long

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There is a reason it is called Blue Monday. Slap-bang in the middle of a month that is all about freezing drizzle and self-denial, the third Monday in January is notoriously the gloomiest day of the year.

But some of us are fighting back.

Here are some ways to find joy among the January gloom.

1. Enjoy everyday things

"I love music. I absolutely love music," says Paddy Merritt.

Like a lot of people, the 24-year-old finds switching on a favourite tune can completely change his mood.

And while a festival or gig is "true bliss" even just switching it on in the kitchen can be great, especially with friends.

"There is joy to be found in lots of everyday things," he says.

That harmonises with David Larbi's philosophy.

The poet and online content creator urges his followers to be on the lookout for small wins.

"On the average day, you can have a little smile at four or five things that might seem minute, but bring you a happy feeling," he says.

"This morning, it was very cold, and I put my socks on. My feet were a little bit warmer.

"That moment of joy made me feel a lot better."

Paddy Merritt also gets joy from performing his musical comedy

2. Be interested

Sophie Scott, professor of cognitive neuroscience at University College London, told What's Up Docs on BBC Radio 4, a huge range of things can bring joy.

What marks it out is that joy is often quite intense, she says. There is a sense of being "overwhelmed with the emotion" in contrast to other forms of happiness, such as comfort or contentment.

For many people the experience of getting up on stage might be as far from joy as they can imagine, but Paddy says that is how he gets the really intense, adrenaline-fuelled, joy - from performing musical comedy.

Sophie, who has dabbled in stand-up herself says however you do it, just watching comedy or hanging out with friends, do something where there's a chance you'll have one of those "laughing 'til your face hurts" moments.

But don't panic if joy doesn't happen right on cue. If you want birds to come to your garden you don't march around it shouting "come on birds", she points out. You make the garden beautiful and wait.

"Let yourself be enthusiastic about things. Let yourself be interested in things and interested in people," she says.

3. Dinner with friends

Ana meets her friends at the sauna for the double benefit of the warmth and the chat

Ana Cass says seeing other people is definitely a source of joy for her. The 27-year-old data scientist struggles with seasonal affective disorder, meaning January can be tough, but she has found ways to counter it.

"What has helped the most is having dinner with friends.

"We take turns hosting. We hang out. We chat. That's the best thing I've done all winter."

At the weekend, instead of cafes, she and her friends often choose to meet at the sauna and plunge pool, with the added buzz that offers.

"That rush makes you forget that January is miserable and cold."

4. Move - skip, dance or walk

There is often a physical aspect to joy, says Sophie Scott.

"Almost all expressions of joy involve jumping, running, movement."

There's even the phrase "jumping for joy".

David Larbi reckons even a tiny moment of joy can put a spring in his step.

"Today, the sun was out, and I left early.

"I was listening to the right music - Stevie Wonder," he says.

"So I had a little skip."

Dancing and listening to music you love are both great ways to give yourself an "endorphin bump," says Scott. Even a short walk will leave you feeling a bit better, she says.

David Larbi says joy doesn't have to be about big events

Ana recommends salsa classes, something she has been doing for a decade, as another thing that brings her joy.

Dancing, she says, allows the kind of casual social interactions that are no longer as common in our work-from-home, shop-online environment, and a physical closeness.

"When you dance close, you touch. That human aspect feels good."

5. Remember, winter isn't out to get you

David Larbi says the more you look for ways to find joy, the more obvious they become.

"The good thing about doing that is, the more of those small moments you notice, the happier you are, and the more likely you are to notice them."

He shares his upbeat philosophy on social media,and haspublished a book, Frequently Happy, encouraging people to look for uplifting moments in the everyday.

And if sometimes in the middle of January, it feels as though winter is out to get you, with its biting winds and long nights, he says, remember, it is nothing personal.

"Winter is not actively malicious," he says. "It is just the earth doing what it has to do."

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Blue Monday? Five easy ways to find joy in January

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It might be the most miserable time of the year but there are some simple things you can do to improve your mood.

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New Year’s resolutions rarely work, neuroscientist says: Here’s a smarter way to build new habits

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