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The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

1. Self-awareness

If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?

Keep a journal. Journals help you improve your self-awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

2. Self-regulation

Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control.

This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader's flexibility and commitment to personal accountability.

So, how can you improve your ability to self-regulate?

Hold yourself accountable. If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you.

Practice being calm. The next time you're in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is better than speaking them aloud to your team. What's more, this helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they're fair!

3. Motivation

Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve your motivation?

Re-examine why you're doing your job. It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you're unhappy in your role and you're struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the Five Whys technique to find the root of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way. And make sure that your goal statements are fresh and energizing. For more on this, see our article on Goal Setting.

4. Empathy

For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it.

If you want to earn the respect and loyalty of your team, then show them you care by being empathic.

How can you improve your empathy?

Respond to feelings. You ask your assistant to work late - again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work extra hours, and that you're just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue (for example, give him Monday mornings off).

5. Social Skills

Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they're experts at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project.

Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behavior.

So, how can you build social skills?

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Emotional Intelligence in Leadership - Learning How to Be More Aware

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Relating to others is vital in today's workplace. Learn how to build your emotional intelligence (EI) with this article.

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Emotional Inteligence - A Minute With John Maxwell, Free Coaching Video

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Transformational Leadership v. Servant Leadership

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Transformational Leadership v. Servant Leadership

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Why Do Some People Become Great Leaders?

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Why do certain people become great leaders? Leadership theories seek to answer this question and usually fit into one of eight basic types.

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Current Cases in Educational Leadership: Staff Shortage Crisis

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Current Case in Educational Leadership 2 - Google Docs

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Michael Fullan: Author, Speaker, Educational Consultant - Michael Fullan

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Educational Leader Profile: C. Krause

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Educational Leader Portfolio Template 2020 (2).docx

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"Leading in a Culture of Change" - Book Review

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"Leading in a Culture of Change" - Book Review

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Personal Leadership Philosophy

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"Leading in a Culture of Change" - Book Review

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When we dare to lead, we don’t pretend to have the right answers; we stay curious and ask the right questions. We don’t see power as finite and hoard it; we know that power becomes infinite when we share it with others.

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Every so often I love when I get into a space of learning where I can sit down, read a book, and take multiple notes because the book inspires me to read, reflect, and write. Sometimes it's due to writing a new book or blog, so it's a part of the research that I'm doing. Other times it may be that I want to give a presentation a makeover, and I'm looking for fresh perspectives to cite during a workshop or keynote.

Recently, I have become acquainted with some books that have not been out for long, and reacquainted with a few that I have read several times before. To be honest, I started this list with six books and then it quickly doubled. The books in the list are meant for anyone in a leadership position who is looking to put a focus on learning, build on collective ideas within their school, or are new to leadership and they're worried or insecure about their decisions.

Why These Books?
Books are meant to teach us, inspire us, and sometimes bring us together as a group because they challenge our thinking and we have to find commonalities together. The authors in the list do just that, and I believe if readers want to try something new in their position, they could find fresh ideas in one of these books, even though some of them are several years old.

This is a list of books that I believe would be helpful for any school leader or someone in a leadership position. If you have a book that you believe would be equally as helpful, please feel free to add it to the comment section. I believe we should all be able to share our opinions about books. Especially those books that will help us in our position.
The twelve I've been diving into lately are:
Leading Collaborative Learning (Corwin Press) by Lyn Sharratt and Beate Planche. Collaboration is a word we hear so much about in leadership circles, but so often it's much more complicated than just bringing people together. Systems experts Sharratt and Planche offer a strategic path for leaders and teachers to follow which will help them improve student learning.

Coherence: The Right Drivers in Action for Schools, Districts, and Systems (Corwin Press) by Michael Fullan and Joanne Quinn. Fullan and Quinn have laid a foundational leadership book. So often, leaders get sidetracked by opportunites that may not provide them with the best impact. Fullan and Quinn provide leaders with a road map that will help leaders decide what might be the best course of action for their schools. I have long admired Fullan, and he has been one of my favorite leadership experts since before I was a leader. Although he is the author or co-author of many, many books, he delivers powerful leadership resources for leaders over and over again. Coherence is a book not to be missed.

(Corwin Press) by Julie Stern with Natalie Lauriault and Kristin Ferraro. Like Visible Learning and the Science Of How We Learn, this is a book that has inspired me to take copious notes. I sat in the barstool at the island in my kitchen and wrote note after note. The authors have helped refresh my memory around surface, deep, and transfer learning, and inspired new thinking on my part when it comes to both student and adult learners. If you care about student learning, or want to be inspired to think of new ways to offer professional learning to adults, this is the book for you. I know I will be referencing it for many, many years.

Hacking Leadership (Times 10 Publications) by Joe Sanfelippo and Tony Sinanis. This is part of a larger series of Hacking books, and it's written by two people I respect very much. Not only are Sinanis and Sanfelippo practioners but they are two of the most energized guys in educational leadership that I have met. This book is filled with practical suggestions that are proven to give school districts the positive shot in the arm that they need.

The Superintendent's Rule Book: A Guide to District Level Leadership (Routledge) by Patrick Sweeney. Books just for Superintendents seem to be few and far between, and this is a new book by a new author. I reviewed the book before it came out, and Sweeney has a good way to approach difficult subjects by using humor and his extensive knowledge as a superintendent. For full disclosure, Sweeney was my high school X-country coach and one of my first mentors, but that's not why the book made the list. The book made the list because Sweeney took those impactful mentorship qualities and put them in a book.

Digital Leadership: Changing Paradigms for Changing Times (Corwin Press) by Eric Sheninger. Sheninger is my technology guru, and has been for a long time. So often schools buy devices but do not implement them well, and this book focuses on how to do a better job of that. I'm excited because Eric has written a 2nd edition for this book which will come out in the next few months.

Student Centered Leadership (Wiley) by Viviane Robinson. Leaders looking for a practical guide to helping have an impact on student learning will love this book. Robinson is out of the University of Auckland and I been a fan for years. This book has a great mix of practical suggestions based in research.

In the End
There are many times I pick up books and put them back down rather quickly. Perhaps it's due to the topic or the timing of when I pick them up, but I do not always feel engaged when I'm reading. I need something that will pull at me from a moral standpoint or inspire me to think at a deeper level. For me, the best sign that I am reading a book is when I wake up in the morning thinking about it. These twelve books have done that for me lately.

If you are thinking about what book you should read next, consider picking up one of the books from my list. If you have been deeply inspired by a book lately, consider adding the book in the comment section. And not that popular books don't need to be highlighted, but consider adding a book you read that is not making all of the rounds on social media. Thanks for reading about my list.
Peter DeWitt, Ed.D., is the author of several books including Photo courtesy of Shutterstock. (Corwin Press. 2018). .

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12 Books You Need on Your Leadership Bookshelf (Opinion)

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Every so often I love when I get into a space of learning where I can sit down, read a book, and take multiple notes because the book inspires me to read, reflect, and write. Sometimes it's due to writing a new book or blog, so it's a part of the research that I'm doing.

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Education news, analysis, and opinion about effective school and district leadership.

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Student loan proposal targets accrued interest; Israel and Hamas war hits six months

A lot of kids got to see the last total eclipse. What they remember may surprise you

California colleges provide abortion pills but many fail to make students aware

Indiana lawmakers ban cellphones in class. Now it's up to schools to figure out how

New Indiana law requires professors to promote 'intellectual diversity' to keep tenure

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We've been to school. We know how education works. Right? In fact, many aspects of learning - in homes, at schools, at work and elsewhere - are evolving rapidly, along with our understanding of learning. Join us as we explore how learning happens.

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What makes a great leader? Management theorist Simon Sinek suggests, it’s someone who makes their employees feel secure, who draws staffers into a circle of trust. But creating trust and safety -- especially in an uneven economy -- means taking on big responsibility.

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Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

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Let's look at how you can develop good skills in each area.

Self-Awareness (Questions 1, 8, 11)

In his 1995 book "Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More Than IQ," Goleman explained that people with high self-awareness are "aware of their moods as they are having them." [2]

To increase self-awareness, learn about mindfulness. This involves focusing on the present moment - including how you're feeling. And keep a journal in which you write about and analyze the emotional situations you experience from day to day.

Self-Regulation (Questions 2, 4, 7)

Motivation (Questions 6, 10, 12)

Self-motivation is strongly affected by your emotions. When you're distracted by your emotions, you may find it hard to see tasks through.

Boost your motivation levels by developing self-discipline, and by looking for and celebrating small wins - simple jobs that, when you've completed them, give you a sense of achievement.

Empathy (Questions 3, 13, 15)

Empathy is the ability to recognize other people's emotions and understand their perspectives. Goleman calls this aspect of EI "the fundamental people skill."

Social Skills (Questions 5, 9, 14)

Even if you're not a natural "people person," it is possible to develop better social skills.

Start by taking our quiz to see which communication skills you need to improve on. Then, find out how you can develop trust and rapport with people - this is an essential part of building good working relationships.

Five Ways to Show Emotional Intelligence Infographic

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How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? - Boosting Your People Skills

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Take this quiz to find out how strong you are in five areas of emotional intelligence, and learn what you can do to boost it.

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School counselors are uniquely equipped to bridge the gaps between administration, teachers, parents, and students. As the demands placed on everyone in a school community increase, it's vital that we view and include school counselors as part of our leadership teams. Let's make sure we recognize all they do and put their strengths to work for our students! Here are 11 ways school counselors serve as leaders in your building.

1. School counselors recognize and showcase diversity.

In many buildings, school counselors are considered the "heart" of the school. They help create an inclusive environment that is respectful, welcoming, kind, and open to all.

2. School counselors develop community partnerships.

Counseling staff work collaboratively with universities, community colleges, technical schools, local unions, military reps, and apprentice programs to provide a variety of opportunities for students. They are especially vital in ensuring underserved and first-generation students have access to and the tools to reach all possible post-high school options.

3. School counselors help during difficult situations.

Strengths such as listening, reflecting, and high emotional intelligence make school counselors valuable allies when trying to get buy-in from staff or the greater community on difficult issues. Counselors foster a culture of change via strong lines of communication and valuing input from all parties involved.

4. School counselors maintain strong home-school connections.

Counselors tend to be the liaison for parents when it comes to communicating with the school. This leadership role is especially important when assisting families who are not familiar with the school setting or have issues trusting staff.

5. School counselors maximize educational success.

School counselors can help to maximize the educational attainment of all students by providing students with mental health services (school or community-based) and developmental guidance that takes a proactive approach in helping students set and reach academic goals.

6. School counselors lead staff trainings.

Administrators who use their counseling staff (rather than outside contractors) to lead building-wide trainings can save a lot of money and gain quicker buy-in from staff. School counselors are experts on topics such as student engagement, positive discipline, suicide/self-harm, students-as-leaders, peer mentoring programs, and academic/social interventions for low-performing students.

7. School counselors protect and advocate for disadvantaged students.

Counselors identify and amend policies and practices that negatively impact disadvantaged students and advocate for equitable services for all students.

8. School counselors use expertise to bring data to life.

Like administrators, counselors are trained in data collection and analysis. They are skilled at using this information to drive decisions about placement, intervention, and overall student health and wellbeing.

9. School counselors mediate difficult situations between parents/students and staff.

Counselors are consistently looking for ways to support the relationship between school staff and parents. Acting as a mediator when one or both parties are upset about a situation is a critical way in which school counselors serve as leaders.

10. School counselors organize and lead crisis response.

Counselors are on the front lines after a tragedy has happened in a school or community. Staff, students, parents, and community members look to the counselors for guidance and support immediately following an event. Because of their training in emotional/mental, the counseling staff is critical in advocating for and teaching self-care to staff, parents, and students during a crisis.

11. School counselors empower and inspire.

School counselors inherently believe in people and work tirelessly to communicate that. By being visible and accessible at all times, their calming, caring, and encouraging presence helps support and empower staff in the building.

School counselors serve as leaders in many ways and we need to value their perspectives and strengths. They are vital to building positive learning environments in which students thrive.
Join our Facebook group Principal Life for more conversation about and insights into the challenges of school leadership.

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11 Ways Your School Counselors Serve as Leaders - WeAreTeachers

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School counselors are uniquely equipped to bridge the gaps between administration, teachers, parents, and students. As the demands placed on everyone in a school community increase, it's vital that we view and include school counselors as part of our leadership teams. Let's make sure we recognize all they do and put their strengths to work for our students!

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For many students, their school counselor is their emotional and social guide and confidant. Here are some activities that counselors can initiate to assist students, staff, and parents in the critical area of emotional and social intelligence.

Organize parent education programs.

Throughout the country, local schools and parent organizations have joined forces to host Parent Universities -- daylong events during which parents have the opportunity to attend workshops on such issues as communicating with adolescents, managing stress, and supporting the social-emotional and educational needs of children. Consider hiring translators to accommodate the language needs of non-English speakers in your community.

Adopt a bully prevention program.

According to the American School Counselor Association, one out of every four children is bullied. These youngsters and teens suffer both physical and emotional abuse. They miss school, fear harassment in the bathroom and on the playground, and often feel they have nowhere to turn for assistance. Comprehensive school-based anti-bullying programs have been very successful in raising student, teacher, and parent awareness of the causes and effects of this all-too-common phenomenon. For information and resources for both parents and school staff, visit The Anti-Bullying Network.

Institute service-learning projects.

Participation in school and community-based service projects benefits students academically, socially, and emotionally. The National Youth Leadership Council Web site features resources for schools interested in starting a service-learning component, including examples of model school-based programs.

Start an advisory program for middle schoolers.

Proponents of small-group advisories for middle schools believe such programs provide adolescents with the ongoing support and connections they need to help them grow and thrive during these turbulent years. MiddleWeb, a Web resource for educators and parents, features several articles on middle school advisories, including an FAQ (frequently asked questions and their answers) written by advisory advocate Jim Burns.

Create an environment of accessibility.

At one New Jersey middle school, counselors stand in the school corridor between classes in order to acknowledge students and maintain a high profile. Their aim is to remind students that counselors are among the adults at school available to help them and to listen. At a California school, a counselor makes a point of visiting every class every two weeks.

Resources

American Psychological Association. The association offers free brochures on such topics as violence prevention, how to choose a psychologist, and commonsense ways to assess online mental health information.

Blueprints for Violence Prevention. This interactive Web site features detailed information on model programs for violence prevention, including school-based programs that focus on bullying prevention, classroom-based social-emotional learning curriculum, and more.

Educating Minds and Hearts: Social Emotional Learning and the Passage into Adolescence. Editor Jonathan Cohen has gathered a wealth of information from different experts. The thread that ties the different chapters together is the use of fictional characters "Raffi" and "Maura" as springboards for experts to talk about how particular social and emotional learning programs affect middle school students. 1999. Published by the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Education World. Visit the School Counselors' section of this site for hundreds of articles and resources covering such critical topics as dealing with grief and loss, suicide prevention, depression, and fostering self-esteem. Many of the referenced articles are from the ERIC database of resources.

In the Mix. This PBS-sponsored Web site for educators features lesson plans and discussion guides for a variety of health and fitness subjects, including anger management, drug and alcohol abuse (including a lesson designed to help teens interpret alcohol advertising messages), depression, and self-image. Lessons are typically designed for middle and high school students and include a PBS "In the Mix" video component.

Promoting Social and Emotional Learning: Guide for Educators. This book by Rutgers University Psychology Professor Maurice Elias and others takes the best information about attempts in schools to give students the skills to be emotionally intelligent individuals. 1997. Published by the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Suicide Awareness Voices of Education. Among this site's many resources is a thoughtful "Guide for Young People" on depression -- its causes and the importance of seeking adult help for friends and classmates.

Waging Peace in Our Schools. This book by Linda Lantieri and Janet Patti tells the story of the Resolving Conflict Creatively Program (RCCP), which was begun in New York City schools in 1985 and is now in more than 350 schools nationwide. The book serves as a practical guide to many of the successful strategies used by RCCP to produce emotionally intelligent children. 1996. Published by Beacon Press.

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Emotional Intelligence: What School Counselors Can Do

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For many students, their school counselor is their emotional and social guide and confidant. Here are some activities that counselors can initiate to assist students, staff, and parents in the critical area of emotional and social intelligence.

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The School Counselor and Social/Emotional Development - American School Counselor Association (ASCA)

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Emotional Intelligence & Early Childhood

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Emotional Intelligence & Early Childhood

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Every morning, Ms. Mitchell thinks about how her feelings will affect her teaching. If she feels frustrated or overwhelmed when she arrives at school, she takes a deep breath and makes a plan for managing her emotions so that she can fully engage with her students and coteachers. She greets children and families as they walk through the door and asks how they are feeling. Throughout the day, children use a classroom mood meter to acknowledge their feelings. Ms. Mitchell also uses the mood meter to talk with children about her own feelings, how characters in books feel, what happened to cause their feelings, and how characters' emotions change throughout a story. In many different ways, Ms. Mitchell models emotional intelligence and supports its development in her students.

Emotional intelligence is a set of skills associated with monitoring one's own and others' emotions, and the ability to use emotions to guide one's thinking and actions (Salovey & Mayer 1990). Emotions impact our attention, memory, and learning; our ability to build relationships with others; and our physical and mental health (Salovey & Mayer 1990). Developing emotional intelligence enables us to manage emotions effectively and avoid being derailed, for example, by a flash of anger.

Children with higher emotional intelligence are better able to pay attention, are more engaged in school, have more positive relationships, and are more empathic.

Emotional intelligence is related to many important outcomes for children and adults. Children with higher emotional intelligence are better able to pay attention, are more engaged in school, have more positive relationships, and are more empathic (Raver, Garner, & Smith-Donald 2007; Eggum et al. 2011). They also regulate their behaviors better and earn higher grades (Rivers et al. 2012). For adults, higher emotional intelligence is linked to better relationships, more positive feelings about work, and, for teachers in particular, lower job-related stress and burnout (Brackett, Rivers, & Salovey 2011).

Drawing from Mayer and Salovey's (1997) refined theory of emotional intelligence, Brackett and Rivers (2014) identified five skills that can be taught to increase emotional intelligence: Recognizing emotions in oneself and others; Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions; Labeling emotions accurately; Expressing emotions in ways that are appropriate for the time, place, and culture; and Regulating emotions. These skills, which form the acronym RULER, are the heart of an effective approach for modeling emotional intelligence and teaching the emotional intelligence skills children need to be ready to learn (Hagelskamp et al. 2013; Rivers et al. 2013).

While the full RULER approach provides a range of tools and instructional strategies, in this article we focus on the mood meter, which is a color-coded tool that provides a shared language for becoming aware of emotions and their impact on teaching and learning. (To learn about the full RULER model, visit the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence website at http://ei.yale.edu/ruler/.)

Introducing the mood meter

If you ask a group of 3-year-old children how they are feeling, what would they say? Fine? Good? Happy? What if you ask a group of early childhood educators? Their responses might not be that different! Most of us use a limited vocabulary to describe our feelings when answering the question "How are you?" In contrast, schools that value children's and educators' emotions encourage a diversified vocabulary to describe feelings. The mood meter is a concrete tool that can shift conversations about feelings from rote responses like good to more nuanced responses like curious, excited, or worried. Accurately labeling and discussing feelings helps adults and children acknowledge the role that emotions play throughout the day. Taking time to recognize feelings, elaborate on their causes, and jointly brainstorm potential strategies to shift or maintain them helps ensure that adults and children use emotions effectively to create a climate supportive of learning.

The mood meter has two axes. The horizontal axis represents pleasantness and ranges from -5 (on the far left) to +5 (on the far right), with -5 being the least pleasant you can imagine feeling (e.g., your job is at risk) and +5 being the most pleasant you can imagine feeling (e.g., you were recognized as Teacher of the Year). Our feelings usually fall somewhere between these values. The vertical axis, which has the same range, represents the energy we experience in our bodies (e.g., heart rate, breathing). At -5, you might feel drained of all energy (e.g., you have the flu and can hardly move) while +5 represents feeling the most energy you can imagine having in your body (e.g., you just received a big raise and feel like jumping for joy). Together, the two axes create four colored quadrants (from the top left and counterclockwise) red (unpleasant, higher energy), blue (unpleasant, lower energy), green (pleasant, lower energy), and yellow (pleasant, higher energy).

With young children ages 3 to 8, a simplified color-only version of the mood meter works best, in our experience. When first introducing children to the mood meter, we tend to describe each color with one word: red = angry; blue = sad; green = calm; yellow = happy. As children learn to use the mood meter, they acquire more feeling words that correspond to each color (and in later grades, they learn how to use the numeric ranges to express their degree of pleasantness and energy). With the mood meter, children learn that there are no good or bad feelings. There may be feelings that we like to have more often than others, but all feelings are okay. Even for those unpleasant feelings, we can learn to employ strategies that use the information we receive from our feelings to respond to them in ways we feel good about.

Using the mood meter to practice emotional intelligence

Research suggests that an important part of effectively teaching emotional intelligence is modeling the five RULER skills for children (Jennings & Greenberg 2009). One way to do this is by regularly checking in on the mood meter throughout the day.

Recognize: How am I feeling? Cues from our bodies (e.g., posture, energy level, breathing, and heart rate) can help us identify our levels of pleasantness and energy. Think about how our feelings may affect the interactions we have with others.

Understand: What happened that led me to feel this way? As feelings change throughout the day, think about the possible causes of these feelings. Identifying the things (e.g., people, thoughts, and events) that lead to uncomfortable feelings can help us both manage and anticipate them in order to prepare an effective response. Determining the causes of feelings we want to foster can help us consciously embrace those things for ourselves and others more often.

Label: What word best describes how I am feeling? Although there are more than 2,000 emotion words in the English language, most of us use a very limited number of words to describe how we are feeling (e.g., happy, sad, mad). Cultivating a rich vocabulary allows us to pinpoint our emotions accurately, communicate effectively, and identify appropriate regulation strategies.

Express: How can I express appropriately what I am feeling for this time and place? There are many ways to express each of our feelings. At different times and in different contexts, some forms of expression are more effective than others. Explaining to children what we are doing and why, as we express different feelings at school, provides them with models of different strategies to express their own emotions.

Regulate: What can I do to maintain my feeling (if I want to continue feeling this way) or shift my feeling (if I do not want to continue feeling this way)? Having short-term strategies to manage emotions in the moment as well as long-term strategies to manage emotions over time is a critical part of effective regulation. Educators with a range of regulation strategies to choose from are better able to manage the full range of emotions and to model these strategies for children and families.

Strategies that can effectively regulate emotions include

Taking deep breaths

Engaging in private self-talk (e.g., "I know I can do this!")

Reframing negative interactions (e.g., "She is having a hard day. No wonder she reacted that way.")

Stepping back and allowing physical distance (e.g., taking a short walk at lunch time)

Seeking social support (e.g., talking to a friend and making plans to spend time together)

Promoting children's emotional intelligence skills

How do you want children to feel when they are in your classroom? Most educators respond with emotions like happy, secure, safe, peaceful, and curious-pleasant feelings that are conducive to learning (Reschly et al. 2008). There are exceptions, however. For example, feeling extremely excited (high in the yellow) can make it challenging to concentrate on a quiet task. There are also occasions when unpleasant feelings can be helpful. For example, mild frustration may help a child persevere to complete a challenging task, and some sadness (which is connected to compassion and sympathy) is necessary to develop empathy. While we do not want to foster unpleasant feelings in young children, we do want to provide them with strategies to both accept and manage these feelings when they occur.

In addition to modeling, educators can promote emotional intelligence through direct instruction by embedding the mood meter in classroom management practices as well as formal and informal learning activities. We provide examples of each in the following sections.

Integrating emotional intelligence into classroom management practices

Educators can use their own emotional intelligence to acknowledge the feelings children experience throughout the day and to inform classroom management. For example, by recognizing emotion cues in children, educators can help children connect their physical experience of emotions with new vocabulary on the mood meter (e.g., frustrated, annoyed, calm). A teacher could say, "I see you are frowning and crossing your arms. I do that when I feel frustrated or annoyed. It looks like you might be in the red. How are you feeling? What happened that caused you to feel that way?" Recognizing and discussing emotions with children lays a foundation for their self-regulation. Educators can also use this information to identify when a classroom activity needs to be modified to better engage students. For instance, an activity requiring children to cut a complex shape with scissors may be too challenging, leading children to feel frustrated and require more support. Similarly, adding more materials to a table activity might shift children who are feeling bored (in the blue) to feeling interested (yellow). Using music and movement during group time might shift children who are feeling excited (yellow) to feeling relaxed (green) after they release their energy appropriately. If students are experiencing separation anxiety (blue) in the mornings, for instance, educators can use role-play at circle time to explore how children can help a friend who is feeling lonely. Children can then practice empathy by supporting one another.

Supporting emotional intelligence through read-alouds

Educators can help children expand their knowledge of feelings with carefully selected read-alouds. Teachers can use read-alouds to introduce children to new vocabulary for expressing emotions and then relate the feelings in stories to classroom themes. For example, words like nervous or brave fit well with a theme focused on visiting the doctor's office. When introducing a new feeling word, consider providing children with developmentally appropriate definitions of the word (e.g., "Disappointed means feeling sad because something did not happen the way you wanted it to.") and pairing the new word with related familiar words (e.g., "Disappointed is a blue feeling, like sad."). Using the mood meter during read-alouds helps children consider the emotions of storybook characters and practice applying their emotional intelligence. Photocopies of pictures from books can be placed on the mood meter and moved around as their feelings change throughout the story. Thinking through how characters feel and react helps children better prepare to deal with their own range of emotions and behaviors.

Developing emotional intelligence enables us to manage emotions effectively and avoid being derailed, for example, by a flash of anger.

The RULER acronym can guide educators in their discussions with children about each new feeling word. For example, using book characters, educators can help children understand what a feeling looks like ( recognizing and labeling), different things that cause feelings in themselves and others ( understanding), and appropriate ways to show their feelings at school as well as how to shift or maintain that feeling ( expressing and regulating). Use the questions in the table "Sample Read-Aloud Questions" to help children explore feelings during shared reading and guide conversations with children throughout the day.

Sample Read-Aloud Questions

Recognize: How is the character feeling? How do you know he/she is feeling that way? Can you show me a _________________ face?

Understand: What happened that made the character feel _________________ ? What happens that makes you feel _________________ ?
Label: Where would you put this character on the mood meter? What is the name of this feeling?
Express: How did the character act when he/she was feeling _________________ ? What else can you do when you are feeling _________________ ?
Regulate: What did the character do when he/she felt _________________ ? What could you do to help a friend who is feeling _________________ ? When you feel _________________ , what do you do?

Sharing personal stories about emotions

Another way teachers can embed emotional intelligence in the classroom routine is by sharing stories about their own feelings. Hearing about the emotional experiences of others helps children understand helpful ways to express and regulate emotions. Educators can share short (2-3 minute) developmentally appropriate stories during morning meeting, large or small group time, or snacks or meals. If educators describe how the emotion looked and felt, the situation that caused the emotion, and how they expressed and regulated the emotion, they will foster a classroom environment where children feel supported sharing their own emotions. Here is an example of an appropriate personal story to relate:

I remember a time when I was your age and I felt scared. I was afraid of my neighbors' dog. Whenever I walked by their house, the dog would bark. My eyes would get wide like this, I could feel my shoulders tensing up like this, and then I would run past their house as fast as I could. Sometimes I even had bad dreams about the dog chasing me, so I decided to tell my mom about it. Talking to someone is one thing you can do when you feel scared. My mom gave me a big hug, and that helped me feel better. She told me she had met the neighbors' dog, and his name was Jack! She said he was very friendly and took me to meet him. I didn't want to pet him at first, but then I touched his tail. Our neighbor said that barking was just Jack's way of saying hello. After that, I didn't feel so afraid of him anymore.

Of course, the goal of sharing a story isn't merely for children to listen. The teacher's personal stories should be discussed (much like a read-aloud), and children should be invited to share their stories about times they felt that emotion and what they did as well.

Encouraging children to place their name or picture on the corresponding mood-meter color can help children think about how they are feeling, why, and how to appropriately express and regulate their feelings.

Extending emotional intelligence throughout the day

Educators can help children develop RULER skills by integrating them into a range of activities, including creative arts, music and movement, and more. Here are a few examples:

Integrate green feelings (pleasant and lower energy) into creative arts by having children paint calmly and slowly while taking deep breaths and listening to soft music.

Invite children to practice feeling yellow (pleasant and higher energy) by dancing to fast music. After they've been dancing long enough for their heart rates to quicken, have children place their hands on their chests to feel their hearts beating, and talk about heartbeats as one way we can feel the energy in our bodies. (For a math extension, the teacher can also measure the resting and dancing heart rates of a few children, then create a chart with the class.)

Use pretend play to help children practice appropriately expressing red and blue emotions. Teachers can guide children's responses to pretend scenarios and model appropriate language and emotional expression.

Integrate mood meter check-ins into classroom routines (e.g., when children arrive and during group time). Encouraging children to place their name or picture on the corresponding mood-meter color can help children think about how they are feeling, why, and how to appropriately express and regulate their feelings.

Conclusion

Along with teaching the RULER skills and embedding the mood meter in classroom practices, educators should take time to discuss with colleagues the most helpful ways for children to express emotions in the classroom, especially unpleasant emotions. How can a child effectively express anger in your classroom? Is it okay for a child to verbalize "I'm angry?" Probably. Is it okay for a child to push another child? Probably not. Having these discussions among educators, as well as engaging parents, is critical to developing a set of school norms on emotions and effectively teaching these norms to children. Take time to share the mood meter with families. Let them know how you use the mood meter at school, and offer strategies that help them talk with their children-and each other-about emotions at home. By taking these simple steps, we can boost children's emotional intelligence, helping them positively engage in school and in life.

References

Brackett, M.A., & S.E. Rivers. 2014. "Transforming Students' Lives With Social and Emotional Learning." In International Handbook of Emotions in Education, eds. R. Pekrun & L. Linnenbrink-Garcia, 368-88. New York: Taylor & Francis.

Brackett, M.A., S.E. Rivers, & P. Salovey. 2011. "Emotional Intelligence: Implications for Personal, Social, Academic, and Workplace Success." Social and Personality Psychology Compass 5 (1): 88-103.

Eggum, N.D., N. Eisenberg, K. Kao, T.L. Spinrad, R. Bolnick, C. Hofer, A.S. Kupfer, & W.V. Fabricius. 2011. "Emotion Understanding, Theory of Mind, and Prosocial Orientation: Relations Over Time in Early Childhood." The Journal of Positive Psychology 6 (1): 4-16.

Hagelskamp, C., M.A. Brackett, S.E. Rivers, & P. Salovey. 2013. "Improving Classroom Quality With the RULER Approach to Social and Emotional Learning: Proximal and Distal Outcomes." American Journal of Community Psychology 51 (3-4): 530-43.

Jennings, P.A., & M.T. Greenberg. 2009. "The Prosocial Classroom: Teacher Social and Emotional Competence in Relation to Student and Classroom Outcomes." Review of Educational Research 79 (1): 491-525.

Mayer, J.D., & P. Salovey 1997. "What Is Emotional Intelligence?" In Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications, eds. P. Salovey & D.J. Sluyter, 3-31. New York: Basic Books.

Raver, C.C., P.W. Garner, & R. Smith-Donald. 2007. "The Roles of Emotion Regulation and Emotion Knowledge for Children's Academic Readiness: Are the Links Causal?" In School Readiness and the Transition to Kindergarten in the Era of Accountability, eds. R.C. Pianta, M.J. Cox, & K.L. Snow, 121-47. Baltimore, MD: Brookes.

Reschly, A.L., E.S. Huebner, J.J. Appleton, & S. Antaramian. 2008. "Engagement as Flourishing: The Contribution of Positive Emotions and Coping to Adolescents' Engagement at School and With Learning." Psychology in the Schools 45 (5): 419-31.

Rivers, S.E., M.A. Brackett, M.R. Reyes, J.D. Mayer, D.R. Caruso, & P. Salovey. 2012. "Measuring Emotional Intelligence in Early Adolescence With the MSCEIT-YV: Psychometric Properties and Relationship With Academic Performance and Psychosocial Functioning." Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment 30 (4): 344-66.

Rivers, S.E., S.L. Tominey, E.C. O'Bryon, & M.A. Brackett. 2013. "Developing Emotional Skills in Early Childhood Settings Using Preschool RULER." The Psychology of Education Review 37 (2): 19-25.

Salovey, P., & J.D. Mayer. 1990. "Emotional Intelligence." Imagination, Cognition, and Personality 9 (3): 185-211.

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Teaching Emotional Intelligence in Early Childhood

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Children with higher emotional intelligence are better able to pay attention, are more engaged in school, have more positive relationships, and are more empathic.

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The Counselor in the Principal's Leadership Circle

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The Counselor in the Principal's Leadership Circle

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Mod 9 Video 1: The Counselor in the Principal’s Leadership Circle