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"....mostly negatively affected without intelligent individuals."

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"They control taxes and many situations involving money."

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"....education must be brought to minors daily lives."

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"....they believe it is best or otherwise for our society."

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"Also have an involvement to society's level of knowledge."

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I could have used "they" more than "he" and I could have added better transition words.

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My evidence is important because it supports my thesis and my main argument very well. It supports my argument through every evidence.

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I did it well only that I kept using "he" instead of "they."

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I did well on starting my paragraphs and balancing it all well.

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"More people are able to reach their goals when someone, or multiple people, are there to help them when they need a boost."

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"This is important as the more we help others, it will continue to influence people to do the same back and in that way society will be stronger."

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I could have made better use of transition words, as well as using words that are stronger and not repeating my words so much.

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My evidence was important because it was clear enough so that the reader can see the situation in their head, and be able to connect the evidence to my topic.

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I could have explained what my commentary leads to, in order to make it longer. This will also make it more balanced with my evidence.

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My commentary explains to the reader what my evidence is referring to. Although I could have added more to my commentary to make it more clear.

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I could have been more balanced with my evidence and my commentary. As well as being more clear with my thesis.

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I used three well-known movies such as Wonder, Cars 3, and The Hunger Games.

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I did well on my conclusion paragraph and on pulling out evidence that relates to the topic.

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...education will lessen perpetually.

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On a similar note there is a decrease...

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Similarly, in which results in history...

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Evidence is important because it helps make your argument truthful.

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Through evidence I was also able to add better commentary

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One result of my evidence was my evidence gave me the ability to advance my paragraphs

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I would have been able to have a more well rounded argument if I was able to supply more evidence

also by not being so repetitive with my words,and sentences.

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I used science to display evidence in my essay

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I had a good base argument and a well written thesis and closing statement

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This is relevant to the present because we now live in a time where some just want to get by instead of fulfilling their potential.

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His values, ethics, and intentions led him to be elected as the first leader of the United States.

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“As a result to his actions……”

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On the other hand, cencorship has been the greatest counterpart of freedom of speech.

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Although freedom of speech is beneficial, misuse can often blur the line of ethicality when deciding the limits.

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Foremost, freedom of speeech is a right of the people in the united states.

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Misinformation is an unavoidable side effect of freedom of speech.

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More trnsition words anda greater specification on the period.

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It demonstartes instances of violation of freedom of speech

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connecting freedom of speech wityh instabnces of historical cencorship strenghtened my argument

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I needed to add more transition words and nlot run on with extra uneccesary evidence

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reducing and narrowing my commentary

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Civil rights movement and online social media

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I have a good argument

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It can lead to people having a sense of loss and emotional distress..

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In the series, he...

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In contrast having high expectations can damn a person horribly if these said expectations aren't met.

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The power and authority given to a single person, comes with consequences such as the abuse of the minority shown in German by Hitler...

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Similarly, the Germans after WW1 had underwent a crisis...

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to take over the minority which at the time in Germany were the Jews...

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the american colonies had gone through the enlightenment during the time...

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I feel like I could have expressed myself better and could have finished my essay to incorporate better augmentative statements.

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Martin Luther standing up and even going to prison demonstrates his passion...

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I used what the law states as one of my evidence and the government's knowledge.

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I used better words and commented better than I did other times.

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This matters, because it helps us live longer, and evolve, into a better, healthier society.

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Overall, All of this matters because it shows what humans are able to do...

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First, Humans ability to work together has helped each other...

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"Overall, while having high self standards is important, it causes negative effects."

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" Classmates had experienced this pressure and.."

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"First, peoples mental heath has been..."

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In "The Perils of Indifference" by Elie Wiesel...

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And win more votes, which will potentially result in them getting elected.

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"In fact, high self expectations create negative feelings..."

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Bean aids Ender Wiggins in realizing that Colonel Graff saw potential in him...

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"Communities with more educated people benefit significantly compared to those with fewer educated."

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"This contributes to the overall growth and development of society"

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"Individuals with higher degrees enjoy greater economic stability than those without."

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She became immensely successful later in life, claiming prestigious titles despite constant discouragement and reminder of her uselessness to the family.

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"Communities thrive when they are surrounded by skilled and educated individuals who contribute to maintaining and improving living conditions."

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"Furthermore, education impacts society not only economically but also socially."

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As a result of his arduous efforts to reinforce his teachings, he strengthens his army's morale and drive towards success.

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"Educated individuals are more likely to research global issues and voice their opinions on them."

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I could have used stronger verbs and transitions words as well as not repeating myself.

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I should have commented more instead of just resaying what the evidence was.

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My examples showed the enhancement the economy that is caused by education.

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I could have added more opinionated examples or examples from more interesting topics.

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I used evidence from articles and statistical data.

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I had a pretty good conclusion.

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This can provide outside forces to form a deeper connotation and choose the boundaries within freedom of speech.

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Its no secret that today's world is competitive, from high schoolers competing to get into prestigious universities to workers desperately trying to obtain and maintain jobs.

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These people are able to freely share their thoughts and perspectives over a common or related theme from across the world which is important as it influenced many global changes.

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"While this may sound motivating, setting high expectations for oneself is extremely detrimental."

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This range is given due to its availability and influential user count.

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"If good-paying, stable jobs were more common, less workers would have job insecurity."

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In fact, technology has made individuals in society more aware of the world around them, as seen with the riots advocating against hate crime and unjust actions.

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I could have added more transition words for the essay to flow more smoothly, as well as stronger vocabulary to really exemplify my points made.

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My evidence is important because it helps support my main statement in the thesis about freedom of speech.

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Therefore, it is vital for the preservation of the mental health of every human being on Earth to denormalize unnecessary competitiveness.

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"Further, setting high self-standards can cause high anxiety levels."

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I could have implemented influential people that used freedom of speech to add more applied evidence.

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I could have definitely added much more transition words in order to make my essay sound much cleaner.

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My evidence is important generally because it helped prove my thesis much more than my bland commentary did. The evidence laid the foundations for my commentary as well as helped me sound more confident in my writing because I felt I knew what I was talking about.

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I needed more evidence and commentary because I was missing a few paragraphs and also I was struggling to think up of concrete evidence.

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My evidence was mainly articles and one personal experience. I feel that the personal experience added a much needed visualization in my essay of the effects of high standards on people. I feel that this piece of evidence was the best in my essay because it was obvious I was more passionate about it than I was about some random articles. This helped me create a better visual for the reader which I regret not doing a good job at in the rest of my evidence.

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To have a more well rounded argument, I could have spoken on both the positive and negative affects of freedom of speech but with the detriments overpowering the positive.

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I incorporated the Hamas and Israeli conflict in the middle east and protest movements such as blacklivesmatter.

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My essay made sense and the thoughts were balanced.

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To support the thesis…

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My evidence was the component of my essay that I focused on the most. It basically was the foundation of my thesis because of how little value my commentary added.

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I should have used other types of evidence that I understood rather than articles. I also could have made much better commentary.

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I incorporated evidence from articles that proved the reasons for my thesis. I regret doing this because I felt like I didn't understand the articles well. I could have done much better using examples from history, media, etc.

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I had a pretty good conclusion. I connected my thesis to real world problems and gave solutions to said problems.