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In the documentary "Miss Representation" by Dir. Jennifer Siebel Newsom, it is stated that self objectification has become a viral epidemic which leads to negative consequences such as low self esteem and anxiety. As a result, women feel pressured to put on ten pounds of makeup every day and get cosmetic surgery. I hated makeup for many years and when I finally got into it, I always felt like I was putting it on for someone else. If I wore makeup, I would also always HAVE to dress to the nines and all that ran through my mind is what other people thought of me. Today, I wear makeup when and how I want to and I find joy doing it, in comparison to it feeling like a chore back then.

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In the reading "The Men's Auxillary: A Brief History of Men and Feminism" by S. Tarrant, the author talks about how masculinity is constructed through gender roles. The problem, or blessing depending on how you look at it, with gender roles is that they are constructed by society and can change. An example of this is how in the modern day, pink is seen as gentle and soft which are traits that are associated with girls while blue is seen as tough which is associated with boys. This, however, was not "true" until 1950 and instead were reversed before that. Pink is a color that I have a complicated relationship with. I was a strong lover then a strong hater when I went through my rebellious phase and tried to turn away from any gender roles that were forced on me. Today, I see it as a beautiful color, but I also recognize everything that comes with it.

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Rejecting Femininity and Embracing Masculinity

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In "Goodbye to Sex/Gender Discrimination" by J. Messerschmidt, Lenny and Kelly both talk about how they distance and push themselves away from their mothers, sisters, and feminine practices. Kelly, most specifically, gained preferential treatment from her stepfather because she completely rejected traditional female roles and social practices and embraced masculine roles instead. For example, she refused to "dress like a girl" or partake in liking "cute" things but was in favor of wearing "boys clothes" and partaking in locker room talk. Although Kelly acted and dressed masculine, she was still seen as a subordinate because of her sex. Growing up, I was considered a tomboy. There were many times that I defied my mother when she would say things like "sit like a lady" or "act more ladylike" and it only pushed me towards my "masculine" tendencies. I started hating feminine things such as the princesses that I strongly adored or the cute stuffed animals that travelled with me every where. At school, I played physical games with many of the boys yet I was never fully accepted as "one of the boys" even though I wasn't considered a "girly girl" and often partook in their shenanigans, no matter how hard I tried. In more recent years, I've grown to love my femininity more without having to completely disregard some of the masculine tendencies that I have, whether it be through wearing "feminine" clothes such as skirts and dresses or collecting cute collectibles and plushies.

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Feminism and the Patriarchy via Boy bands

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The evolution of boy bands has been very interesting throughout the years. Early boy bands objectify women and portray them under the male gaze in their songs that are masked as love songs. In addition, patriarchal femininity plays a huge role in how "fangirls" are portrayed. To elaborate, mainstream media pushes the agenda that fangirls are unintelligent and are only into "girly" activities such as gushing over boys (and boy bands), dancing, screaming, and listening to pop music. That the fangirl is only interested in the band members and their visuals instead of their music. It's very interesting to see how being a fangirl has progressed over the years. For example when I was a little girl and a directioner, fangirls were diminished to their hormones. Now that I'm older and have more access to my favorite boy bands and can truly partake in the community, I've discovered fangirls are so much more than the mindless zombies that they're portrayed to be. They're our lawyers, our doctors, our engineers, they are mothers and sisters, they're in grad school or researching for the cure for cancer. And although there is still a stigma against being a fangirl, I think that the mainstream media does not push the agenda as strongly anymore especially since we are in the digital age where many communities can fight back and prove otherwise.

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In "Having a Girlfriend Without Knowing It" by Lisa M. Diamond, the question of what draws the line between a platonic and romantic relationship between two women is introduced. These are my two roommates. One of them I just met this year and the other I've known since middle school. Regardless of the length, we've all slept in the same bed together and shared many intimate moments that most roommates don't. We've seen each other in our most intimate and vulnerable moments, yet we share no romantic feelings especially since both of my roommates are in loving heterosexual relationships. In addition, many of my female friendships have been some of the most fulfilling and long lasting relationships that I've ever experienced.