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Have you ever lost your temper at...yourself? Blamed and then beat yourself up a little inside for doing something you regret? Maybe you've been harsh with someone, only to be much harsher with yourself later?

It's easy to be tough on yourself-we tend to do it much, much more than we realize. But what if there was a better way? When we forgive ourselves, accept our perceived flaws, and show ourselves kindness, we practice self-compassion. It's often a lot harder than it sounds, but with the right techniques, we can learn to make it a habit that sticks.

If you ever judge or criticize yourself for no justifiable reason, some of these techniques could be valuable. Some might not be your cup of tea, but others might resonate and come in handy when you least expect it. Read on to find out how to practice self-compassion with tips and exercises, then tell us-what works for you?

How to Have and Show Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is a positive attitude we can have towards ourselves, and it's also an empirically measurable construct. Operationally defined and introduced to the positive psychology literature by Associate Professor Dr. Kristin Neff, it is comprised of three separate constructs: Self-kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness (Neff, 2003a; 2003b).

Having self-compassion means being able to relate to yourself in a way that's forgiving, accepting, and loving when situations might be less than optimal. We know that it's similar to (yet less permanent than) self-love and that it's distinct from self-esteem, but how do we show self-compassion?

Self-Kindness

Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt (Neff, 2003a). Rather than being critical or judging ourselves harshly when we already feel pain, we can recognize the negative influence of self-judgment and treat ourselves with warmth and patience instead (Gilbert & Irons, 2005).

In short, showing self-kindness means treating our worth as unconditional even when we fall short of our own expectations, whether it's through our behaviors or even just our thoughts (Barnard & Curry, 2011).

Some examples, adapted from the Self-Compassion Scale (SCS), include (Neff, 2003b: 231):

Giving yourself the tenderness and care you need when you're going through a tough time;

Trying to understand and show patience regarding your own perceived personality flaws; and

Being tolerant of your own shortcomings.

Common Humanity

'Being part of something bigger' is a pervasive concept in positive psychology literature, and it's long been argued that the need for connections is part of human nature (Maslow, 1943). Having Common Humanity means viewing our own individual experiences as embedded in the broader human experience, rather than seeing ourselves as isolated or separate from others (Neff, 2003a).

Part of this is accepting and forgiving ourselves for our flaws-we aren't perfect, but we show self-compassion when we go easy on ourselves for having limitations (Brown, 2010). Another part of common humanity is realizing that we're not alone in being imperfect or feeling hurt; rather than withdrawing or isolating ourselves, we appreciate that others feel the same at times (Gilbert & Irons, 2005).

According to the SCS, more specific behaviors would include (Neff, 2003b: 231):

Perceiving your shortcomings as natural aspects of the human condition;

Viewing your difficulties as "a part of life that everyone goes through"; and

Reminding yourself that others also feel inadequate at times, when you feel the same.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is seen as the opposite of avoidance or over-identification in self-compassion theory-it entails acknowledging and labeling our own thoughts as opposed to reacting to them (Kabat-Zinn, 2003; Neff, 2010).

When we have self-compassion, we are aware of our own hurtful thoughts and emotions without blowing up their significance through rumination. Instead, we adopt a positive balance between this over-identification at one extreme, and completely avoiding painful emotions and experiences at the other (Neff, 2003a).

Example SCS items for mindfulness translate into the following behaviors (Neff, 2003b: 232):

Aiming to keep our feelings in balance when we experience something upsetting;

Maintaining perspective when we fail at things that are important to us; and

Adopting our emotions with curiosity and openness when we feel sad.

So while the SCS does measure self-compassion as a trait, it can also be seen as a 'balance' or a 'middle way' of emotional responding (Neff, 2015).

Read more about mindful self-compassion here.

How Can We Best Practice Self-Compassion?

So, it's about maintaining (or striving for) a happy medium between three theoretical spectra (Barnard & Curry, 2011):

From Self-kindness to Self-judgment;

From Common Humanity to Isolation; and

Between avoidance and over-identification-with Mindfulness as the happy medium.

We also see some key themes popping up that you might already be very familiar with: empathy, kindness, forgiveness, caring, tenderness, and various synonyms for acceptance and non-judgment. But because so much of our mental activity is ingrained or instinctual, it can take some conscious effort at first to start practicing self-compassion.

How to Start

Dr. Kristin Neff herself notes that because of our habitual responses to hurt and negative emotions, getting started can often be a drastic change of perspective (Neff, 2019). And because we're actually trying to adopt new approaches rather than create positive emotions, it takes practice:

Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings... With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience.

(Neff, 2019)
With that in mind, we'll cover some techniques and tips for practicing this goodwill, before sharing some resources, affirmations, and approaches to help you along the way.

8 Tips and Techniques for Practicing Self-Compassion

There are lots of specific exercises available online that will help you practice self-compassion in a way that suits you. We'll cover some of these in more depth on in our Resources section, but most have the same general approach.

Treat Yourself as You'd Treat a Friend

One good place to start is by thinking about how you would treat others that you care about. So while we can't always take away others' pain, we can validate its existence and provide support to help them get through it and grow. In this respect:

1. Let yourself make mistakes. Self-kindness and common humanity tap into two separate but related ideas: "We're human. But a) so is everybody else, and b) that's okay." Rather than interpreting our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as who we are, we can let ourselves off the hook when we might do the same for others. If a friend gets lazy and doesn't answer your phone call, you probably won't instantly assume they're a bad person. Giving yourself permission to be human once in a while is one way to accept your flaws, and remind yourself that you're not alone in being imperfect (Abrams, 2017).

2. Care for yourself as you'd treat others. Closely related to the previous tip, this is about being understanding and empathetic towards yourself. If a friend is feeling down, hurt, or upset, you might physically pat them on the back or hold their hand. Neff describes these as ways of tapping into our own 'caregiving system' to release oxytocin which has beneficial cardiovascular effects (Hamilton, 2010). Along with tender, forgiving language (even using terms of endearment to yourself like "darling" or "sweetheart"), these gestures can lead us to feeling self-kindness even if we're initially reluctant. Try not to go overboard with the endearing terms if it feels too odd, of course!

Becoming More Self-Aware

Other techniques relate to being more self-aware and tapping into our self-talk. Compared to 'beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up', becoming aware of our internal narratives is a positive starting point for changing our self-talk.

1. Use 'Releasing Statements'. Maybe you've never been a big fan of positive affirmations. Maybe they don't feel natural or you believe they don't quite 'reach' your Inner Critic at a subconscious level (Wood et al., 2009). If that's the case, you might try what is colloquially referred to as 'releasing statements'. These are closely related (if not equivalent) to mini-exercises in self-forgiveness and tap into the mindfulness concept of detached non-judgment. When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought like "I'm such a horrible person for getting upset", try turning it around and 'releasing' yourself from the feeling. Instead, try "It's okay that I felt upset".

2. Try self-acceptance. This means embracing your own perceived shortcomings as well as your character strengths (Morgado et al., 2014). Self-compassion is about not over-inflating these shortcomings into a definition of who we are-rather, thoughts and feelings are behaviors and states (Neff, 2010).

3. Practice mindfulness. Harvard Healthbeat (2019) suggests that mindfulness practices are a good way to center ourselves in the moment. Not only is mindfulness one of self-compassion's core constructs, but a lot of exercises such as yoga and deep breathing can be used anytime, anywhere. Kirstin Neff also recommends guided nurturing meditations, including body scans and a short 'Self-Compassion Break'.

4. Try not to judge yourself too quickly. Another tip from DiPirro is to stop assuming you'll behave a certain way. It's easy to assume things like "I get really grumpy and antisocial on flights", which sometimes precludes the possibility that you'll act a different way. This is once again about treating yourself as you would others, and just a future-focused way to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

(Re)Gaining Perspective

From here, we can also zoom out to remind ourselves once more that we're connected to others. That we're part of a much bigger picture-common humanity-and adjust our focus accordingly. Here are some example tips:

1. Let go of the need for outside validation. Author Dani DiPirro of Stay Positive, The Positively Present Guide to Life suggests that lots of our negative thinking come from how others perceive us. If we're beating ourselves up for eating something, for instance, a lot of that self-directed anger stems from social pressures, like the pressure to look a certain way or maintain a certain weight. Choosing not to tie our happiness to outside influences can thus be an act of self-kindness with a much larger knock-on effect (Neff, 2011). If this idea is interesting to you, there's more in this self-reliance article.

2. Reaching out to others. This might sound like the opposite of the above, but in fact, this technique is more about placing your feelings in context. When we talk with others, we realize that we're not alone in feeling pain at different times. It's an important part of reaffirming our sense of connectedness, reframing our perceived problems within the 'bigger picture', and building social support networks that are invaluable to well-being.

So what does Dr. Kirstin Neff herself say about self-compassion?

Kirstin Neff's Step-By-Step Guide to Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion Step-By-Step is Kirstin Neff's audio course on developing the skills and techniques for the everyday practice of the same.

Over six sessions, it covers approaches that you can use in the moment, immersive practices, and guided self-compassion meditations that draw on the theory and its applications. Topics covered include (Neff, 2019):

How to be easier on yourself;

Why we often resist showing self-compassion;

The distinctions between self-compassion and self-esteem;

Dealing with difficult feelings more adaptively; and

Self-motivating positively rather than criticizing yourself.

13+ Useful Resources

You'll find a lot of useful resources on self-compassion if you're looking for exercises, scripts, or more theory as a therapist. Apart from our extensive blog posts on topics like mindfulness, compassion, and the self, you'll also find ample self-compassion worksheets and workbooks.

4+ Websites

If you know of other key sites that we haven't yet included, please let us know in the comments. Because these also contain their own wealth of helpful links, you'll find plenty to browse here.

1. Self-Compassion.org is Kirstin Neff's official webpage on the topic. Here you can look into more research on self-compassion, browse through her recommended self-compassion books, and watch videos to learn more. Also on this site-and particularly useful for therapists-you'll find meditation scripts and self-compassion exercises for yourself or clients.

The eight featured exercises include:

The compact, take-away Self-Compassion Break for individuals to practice anytime;

How would you treat a friend? - which is a writing exercise in empathy, mindfulness, and compassion;

Letter and journal writing guides;

A dynamic experiential learning activity focused on self-awareness and the inner critic (The criticizer, the criticized, and the compassionate observer); and

Exercises on values (Identifying what we really want) and activities geared at changing up negative self-talk.

2. Chrisgermer.com is another lovely source of more resources on mindful self-compassion. Germer is the co-developer of MSC training, and as such, his website is a good place for helping professionals interested in developing their MSC skills. You'll also find guided meditations on the core self-compassion skills, written PDF instructions in the same, practices to teach or work through with clients, and online workshops.

These include the Center's:

Certificate Program in Mindfulness and Psychotherapy;

Power of Therapeutic Presence: Mindfulness and Compassion for Clients and Clinicians; and

Live virtual classes on MSC for practitioners.

3. Linked closely to Chrisgermer.com, the CenterforMSC.org website is also a rich source of meditations, practices, and general background for therapists and coaches. Professionals can search for online practice groups such as the MSC Community for Deepening Practice and related off-site communities.

Here, you'll also find a course directory for in-person workshops (some are also featured on chrisgermer.com), meditations, and plenty of background on MSC. Educators can get more information on immersive MSC teacher training courses, and there is a wealth of background reading recommendations for those who simply want to learn more.

4. Other websites on Self-Compassion can be found (in abundance) at the resources page of self-compassion.org.

5+ Workbooks and Worksheets

We've already linked to some of our self-compassion workbooks and worksheets above, so here are just a few that we have not yet covered.

1. The Government of Western Australia's Centre for Clinical Interventions has produced an in-depth, comprehensive PDF self-compassion workbook (here) that comes as seven different modules. Understanding, barriers to, and preparing for self-compassion are introductory modules in a sense, while Compassionate Imagery and Self-Compassionate Thinking are slightly more hands-on with guides and exercises. Modules 6 and 7 on Self-Compassionate Behavior and Self-Compassionate Living are full of practical tips for individuals. On the link above, you can download the whole book as a zip file for free.

2. This site has also compiled some free exercises on mindful self-compassion. As well as some worksheets, you'll also find audio and video therapist resources.

3. Act with Compassion offers activities here that focus on becoming more aware of and working on self-criticism. Some client handouts on this page may be helpful for practitioners, and cover topics such as self-esteem vs. self-compassion, self-criticism, and Lovingkindness meditation.

4. This lesson plan and video from TEDEd is created by The School of Life and volunteer teacher Alexandra Panzer. Educators and parents can also read up on the open and guided discussions; while they stopped being active a while ago, they contain useful talking points for the classroom.

5. This self-compassion resource is a PDF worksheet that adapts Kirstin Neff's "How Would You Treat a Friend?" exercise. It is tweaked to be a group activity with interactive discussion questions and works as a downloadable handout for facilitators, too.

4 Books

If-somehow-you've already finished the self-compassion books in this article on self-love, here are a few more worthy reads which we haven't yet recommended:

1. Self-Compassion for Teens: 129 Activities & Practices to Cultivate Kindness by Lee-Anne Gray

2. Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself: 40 Ways to Transform Your Inner Critic and Your Life by Lori Deschene

3. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown

4. Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion by Elisha Goldstein (Amazon)

What are Self-Compassion Affirmations and are they Valid?

We've looked at positive daily affirmations elsewhere on this site, and we've examined that their roots lie in self-affirmation theory and global self-efficacy (Steele, 1988; Cohen & Sherman, 2014).

In a nutshell, we can use positive affirmations to keep up a global narrative for ourselves, about ourselves, that is relevant to our self-identity. With this in mind, let's look at two different 'types' of ways that we can use affirmations to become more self-compassionate.

Using Affirmations to Motivate

In this respect, some self-compassion affirmations may be slightly different from the positive daily affirmations we're used to. Most people already know about affirmations of values (things we hold meaningful and personally important), and using affirmations to broaden our sense of self-concept (Critcher and Dunning, 2015).

In contrast, you'll find that some example self-compassion affirmations are more focused on the three components: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness than they are on our ability to adapt to different situations. They may be more goal-focused and designed to motivate, sparking our intention to change.

For example:

"I'm going be kind to myself" rather than "I'm a patient and understanding mom to my kids"; or

"I'm going to treat myself the way I would treat my very best friend" instead of "My body is amazing just the way it is and I accept myself this way."

If you're interested in finding out more about the validity of this kind of self-compassion affirmation-i.e. self-talk in a goal-setting context-you might find this paper on Hope Theory very helpful (Snyder et al., 1998). Succinctly, positive self-talk (like " I can do this") is common in high-hope people. It's a kind of agentic thinking which helps motivate us towards our goals when we come across obstacles. Goals like becoming more self-compassionate, for instance.

Using Affirmations to Challenge Your Inner Critic

Practicing affirmations can also be useful if you're hoping to replace the negative self-talk we referred to earlier with more self-kindness. Our (often habitual) tendencies to blame, criticize, or put ourselves down can't be changed unless we try to catch ourselves in the act, and only then can we reframe them (Soflau & David, 2017).

Replacing negative automatic thoughts with self-compassionate internal dialogue helps us deal with our Inner Critic, replacing it with empathetic self-directed talk (Earley, 2010; 2018).

We can think of these more like the actual 'content' of self-compassion. It's as easy as replacing your negative self-talk with mindful recognition of your feelings and giving yourself a caring, loving response rather than self-criticizing (Kendall et al., 1989; Hope et al., 2010).

In the next section, we've included some of the latter type.

11 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice

Try these if you're a believer in the power of affirmations, and use them to replace self-criticism or remind yourself to be kind to Number One.

1. I accept the best and worst aspects of who I am.

2. Changing is never simple but it's easier if I stop being hard on myself.

3. My mistakes just show that I'm growing and learning.

4. It's okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.

5. I am free to let go of others' judgments.

6. It's safe for me to show kindness to myself.

7. I deserve compassion, tenderness, and empathy from myself.

8. I release myself with forgiveness from today and move forward with self-love to tomorrow.

9. Every day is a new opportunity. I won't let self-doubt or judgment hold me back from the future.

10. I forgive myself and accept my flaws because nobody is perfect.

11. I'm not the first person to have felt this way, and I won't be the last, but I'm growing.

Find more of these from here, this source, and Louise Hay's official site, which inspired them.

How Mindfulness Scripts Help in Practicing Self-Compassion

Mindfulness scripts are useful tools for therapists and individuals. They form a key part of the Mindful Self-Compassion program (MSC) developed by Drs. Christopher Germer and Kirstin Neff.

The basic premise of mindfulness scripts is that sometimes a step-by-step walk-through is helpful when we're exploring our 'present moment' experiences. As part of broader self-compassion practice, they can be useful guidance for cultivating a state of mindfulness:

" moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts [and] feelings...through a gentle, nurturing lens. " (Greater Good Science Center, 2019)

Mindfulness scripts help in practicing self-compassion by taking us through painful emotions and feelings in a detached and accepting way. Available as videos, written scripts, body scan soundtracks, and more, they help us (Parker, 2016):

Become attuned to the painful feelings which often spark self-judgment and unconstructive self-talk;

Identify, label, and accept our emotions;

Recognize them as transient and fleeting, and realize that they will pass;

Investigate them and understand their causes (within reason); and

Release ourselves from the need to control them.

If you're ready for more hands-on techniques in mindfulness that you can use with your therapy clients, see how our Mindfulness X program can equip you as a helping practitioner.

Are there Proven Benefits to Writing A Self-Compassion Letter?

Given that letter-writing is one very specific exercise for practicing self-compassion, there is (unsurprisingly) a dearth of studies on this precise topic. But what we do know about expressive hand-written letters, emotions, and the nature of self-compassion suggests that they may have some benefits.

The Impacts of Expressive Writing

Self-compassion letters are one written form of emotional expression, or at least this applies to our initial recall of a particular emotion (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986). They require us to disinhibit and (of course) write about emotional experiences, like the painful feelings that sometimes trigger self-criticism. And here's what we know:

Other forms of writing therapy, such as journal writing, have been related to feelings of greater psychological well-being (PWB), a reduced number of stress-related doctor visits, and enhanced positive affect (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005).

Expressive writing promotes self-distancing, a helpful process of emotional regulation that helps us construct meaning from our experiences (Park et al., 2016). As an example, "Why did you lose your temper?" (self-distanced) vs. "Why did I lose my temper?" (self-immersed) (Eva, 2017); and

It is considered helpful as a coping strategy for stressful life events (Travagin et al., 2015).

Both self-compassion and expressive writing have roots in alleviating worry and the negative tendency of rumination, too, which makes letter-writing a particularly logical exercise in the former (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005; Raes, 2010).

So if you feel that these sound like benefits which might help you, it may be worth trying to put your thoughts down as words. True, it may not feel natural at first, but some things take practice.

3 Example Self-Compassion Letters

Here are some example letters that you can use both to get started and as you continue your self-compassion practice.

1. This Greater Good In Action walk-through takes only 15 minutes-and to be fair, it's more of a 'how to' than an example. It contains five simple but effective guidelines and some helpful pointers and begins by inviting you to put yourself in another's shoes. It provides a constructive way to change your perspective on a perceived flaw that you see in yourself.

2. On Page 8 of this PDF from the Centre for Clinical Interventions, you'll find an example self-compassion letter that's already set out for you, step by step.

3. One writer even shares this personal self-compassion letter, which she has written to herself as an imaginary friend.

13 Journal Prompts

Try some of these self-compassion journals if you're still feeling a bit of writer's block. Try applying each of the three self-compassion constructs in your journal, and below you'll see how they can follow a logical sequence.

Mindfulness

Start with approaching whatever emotional experience you've been through with balanced awareness, curiosity, and detached interest. Acknowledge but don't magnify how you felt, thought, or what you did while trying not to judge yourself for what was essentially a human reaction. Please do tweak these examples, which are deliberately generic and intended only as a guide:

1. "I felt angry/upset/impatient/etc. because of...."

2. "I realize now that when...happened, I reacted in the moment, and I felt regret/embarrassed/ashamed/etc. afterward."

3. "Stepping back from it now, I accept that I was thinking hurtful/frustrated/annoyed thoughts when..."

4. "As I reflect on my behavior earlier, I acknowledge that my reaction to...was driven by feelings of disappointment/fear/doubt/etc."

5. "Looking back now, I notice my thoughts and feelings from earlier today. At the time, the situation made me feel..."

Common Humanity

As you recall the experience you began writing about, move the topic toward common humanity. Doing this means acknowledging first and foremost that you're not the only one experiencing negative emotions.

Adapted from and inspired by Kristin Neff's official Self-Compassion journal exercise, try to take these as both general 'mindsets' as well as sentence starters.

1. "Everybody feels anger/pain/jealousy at some point or another..."

2. "The situation was a complicated one, and most people find themselves feeling frustrated in tricky situations like that..."

3. "Nobody is perfect or immune from thinking the occasional fearful/irrational/defensive thought..."

Self-Kindness

Go easy on yourself for this part, and write to yourself as you would to someone you care deeply about. Having reminded yourself that you're not superhuman or immune from painful feelings, this is the perfect space to be comforting and gentle. As the last few sentence starters show, you can write using second-person pronouns if it helps.

1. "I forgive myself for feeling as upset/hurt/exasperated/etc. as I did earlier"

2. "That wasn't my last chance to practice more patience/understanding/empathy/etc..."

3. "I made a mistake/snapped/slipped a little today and that's fine. Next time a situation like that comes around I'll..."

4. "It's not something worth dwelling on, tomorrow you can react with more concern/tenderness/goodwill/etc..."

5. "You understand why you responded that way and it's OK. Next week you could make up for it by stopping to listen/showing that you care/etc..."

The sources that inspired these prompts can be found at this link and in this PDF.

A Take Home Message

Self-compassion is refreshing in its premise. It initially takes conscious effort even to become aware of our mental processes, but most worthwhile things do require practice. We've looked at some varied techniques for having and showing self-compassion on a regular basis-so if letter-writing isn't your thing, hopefully, affirmations or journaling will help.

There's no reason why you can't get creative with your own techniques and tricks, either-we're sure you can think of something. Would little self-compassion exercises flashcards work for you? How about a blog or a creative reminder to be kind to yourself? What has worked for you in the past that you might want to tweak? Let us know in the comments!

For further reading:

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How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips

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Have you ever lost your temper at...yourself? Blamed and then beat yourself up a little inside for doing something you regret? Maybe you've been harsh with someone, only to be much harsher with yourself later? It's easy to be tough on yourself-we tend to do it much, much more than we realize.

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Break Out Room Activity 1

1. Share highlight of this week

2. Share one thing you learned from your highlight

3. Share one thing you learned that you want to do differently next week

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Most of us know that we should be kind to ourselves, and yet it can be quite difficult to do so. For one reason or another, many of us struggle to care for ourselves with the same compassion we would offer to someone we love. For this reason, self-compassion meditation and exercises are crucial. They can help to enhance the relationship we have with our innermost self while also alleviating the weight of many all-too-common human struggles. For example, studies have found that high levels of self-compassion are linked with reduced psychological stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms.

But what is self-compassion anyways and what does it look like in practice? To answer these questions and more, this comprehensive guide to self-compassion will explore:

What Is Self-Compassion?

Common Myths About Self-Compassion

What Are The Three Components of Self-Compassion?

How to Practice Self-Compassion: A Meditation for Self-Compassion

8 Self-Compassion Exercises

"A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day.A string of such moments can change the course of your life."
- Chris Germer-

What Is Self-Compassion?

There are many different definitions of self-compassion. However, what it tends to boil down to is the following explanation put forth by Kristin Neff:

"Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism."
- Kristin Neff -

For example, if we are going through a separation or are struggling to achieve some type of goal, self-compassion would invite us to turn inwardly with warmth and kindness. Rather than belittling ourselves, casting blame or judgment, or avoiding the subject matter all-together, we would acknowledge our suffering (however large or small) and support ourselves through it.

For many people, self-compassion is in contradiction to much of the messaging we received when we grew up (either from people around us or from society at large). We often tend to our suffering with harshness, criticism, or coldness, so self-compassion is quite the opposite. While it can take time to fully embody self-compassion as a way of being, we can practice it in any moment when we find ourselves struggling with something.

Common Myths About Self-Compassion

To better understand what self-compassion is, it can be helpful to explore what it isn't. There are many different myths about self-compassion that can lead to misunderstandings about what it really entails.

Three core misunderstandings that some people have about self-compassion are:

Self-compassion is self-pity.

Many people associate self-compassion with self-pity; however, to care for ourselves with compassion does not mean that we ruminate on our misfortunes. Though compassion and pity are related, they are not the same. Compassion can help us to embrace and move through our challenges whereas pity carries a different energy, one that is not necessarily supportive of resilience.

Self-compassion is self-centered.

Another common myth is that self-compassion is self-centered or selfish. While self-compassion indeed requires us to turn inwards, it does not equate to a lack of concern for the world around us. It does not make us more important than others; in fact, when we are compassionate with ourselves, we are more likely to be compassionate with others.

Self-compassion will hinder my growth.

Furthermore, some people believe that to take pause for self-compassion will make one complacent to personal growth. For example, one might wonder: Will self-compassion make me indulge more frequently in unhealthy foods? Will it give me an excuse for poor behaviour? These questions and concerns are understandable, but true self-compassion brings us into greater alignment with our most genuine needs. It helps to quiet the inner critic, which leaves more room for our inner strength and wisdom to shine through.
Listen to Chris Germer Discuss the Myths of Self-Compassion.
What Are The Three Components of Self-Compassion?

Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, outlines three core elements of self-compassion.These are understood as follows:

Self-kindness (as opposed to self-judgment)

When faced with a challenge, self-kindness directs us to tend to our struggles with tenderness and warmth. Being perfect or living a perfect life is not possible, and so with kindness, we recognize our humanity.

Common humanity (as opposed to isolation)

The second element of self-compassion is common humanity, which is an invitation to consider that we are not alone in our struggles. Whatever we are going through, others have struggled with as well. These challenges are a part of being human.

Mindfulness (as opposed to over-identification)

Lastly, mindfulness enables us to view our challenges as they are - without exaggerating or denying their existence. It helps us to witness what is happening without over-identifying with the stories and emotions associated.

When faced with a challenge, we can harness all three of these elements to most effectively navigate what we are going through. But what does this look like in practice?
​Share Self-Compassion With Others As A Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.
How to Practice Self-Compassion

If you find yourself struggling and your inner critic is taking up all the breathing space, consider the following steps to practice self-compassion. This outlines a simple self-guided meditation for self-compassion that incorporates the three components listed above:

Take a moment to ground yourself.

The first step for practicing self-compassion is to simply ground into the present moment. This helps to set the stage for mindful awareness of your challenges. Note where you are by feeling into the earth beneath you and then by witnessing a few breaths moving through your body. Set all mental stories aside for a moment.

Acknowledge that you are suffering.

Next, recognize the fact that you are suffering. Whatever you are going through, note the difficulty of this experience. You do not need to deny it nor latch onto the stories that this suffering tells. You do not need to compare it to another person's suffering; simply recognize it as the suffering that it is. Simply note:
I am struggling right now.This experience is difficult for me.I am having a hard time with this.
Mindfulness at this stage will help you to remain aware of your current challenges without becoming swept away by them. Stick with straightforward statements of recognition without going into explanations, blaming, or any other stories your mind might weave.

Recognize that you are not alone in your suffering

Next, note that whatever you are experiencing is a part of being human. Though the experience likely feels very personal to you now, there are many others struggling with the same feelings that you are. This can help you to overcome any thoughts that might suggest there is something abnormal about your experience. Suffering is entirely human and entirely normal.

Consider the compassion you would offer to someone you love.

Think about someone you love and imagine that they were experiencing what you are now. How would you treat them? What words of support would you offer? What would your body language or overall energy be like? Note what compassion would look like in this situation if you were tending to the struggles of someone you care about dearly.

Offer yourself that same loving kindness.

Finally, direct the compassion you envisioned in the last step towards yourself. What words might you need to hear right now? How might you shift your posture in order to be more embracing of yourself? Is there any healing touch you can offer to yourself, such as a hand on the heart?

Consider the following self-compassion statements to enhance your practice. Silently repeat to yourself any statement that feels genuinely nourishing for you:
I am here for you.I am supporting you.I see you.May I be kind to myself.May I accept myself.I love you.I forgive you.
8 Self-Compassion Exercises

If you are struggling with self-compassion, you do not need to harness this skill on your own. There are many resources to facilitate your ability to tend to yourself with greater love, care, and kindness. Explore the following self-compassion exercises as you feel called to:

This meditation for self-compassion is a guided, in-depth version of the practice outlined above. Chris Germer leads this soothing practice, which is broken down into three parts: mindful awareness, remembering we are not alone, and offering kindness.

This mindfulness worksheet is a journal exercise that invites you to write a letter of care and kindness to yourself - from the point of view of someone who loves you. This exercise can help us tune into our innate capacity for self-compassion.

Another great resource for harnessing self-compassion is this talk by Tara Brach. In this talk, Brach helps us to better understand what it means to self-love. She highlights how and why we often get locked into anxiety, mistrust, and conditioned reactivity.

This guided meditation for self-compassion is a practice for working with strong emotions. It invites us to locate the emotion we are experiencing within the physical body and to soften it around its edges. This practice invites us to acknowledge the difficulty of our emotions and to tend to ourselves with compassion.

Another meditation for self-compassion by Kristin Neff, this practice focuses on the mindfulness technique of body scanning. It reminds us to be gentle and tender towards ourselves as we explore whatever is present for us in this moment. It invites us to embrace the fullness of our humanity.

This worksheet outlines how to take a simple self-compassion break. For this practice, you are invited to first read through the instructions and then work through them on your own. At the end of your self-guided meditation, write down how it felt to practice, along with any ideas about how you can incorporate this exercise into your daily life.

A variant on the traditional loving-kindness practice, this meditation is tailored to focus specifically on self-compassion. It invites us to repeat the following set of self-compassion statements:
May I be safe.May I be peaceful.May I be kind to myself.May I accept myself as I am.
Lastly, one final meditation for self-compassion that you might consider is this short guided practice led by Sean Fargo. It invites us to call a challenging situation to mind, to acknowledge it, and to offer ourselves loving statements in the face of our difficulties.

By practicing self-compassion, we begin to develop a more harmonious relationship with ourselves. Having self-compassion does not mean that we will never face challenges; it simply means that we are kind and tender towards ourselves as we navigate the difficulties of being human. After all, we all face difficulties as we navigate this ever-changing life experience. Self-compassion exercises help us to love ourselves throughout the journey.
References:

1. 1https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4591980/

2. 2https://chrisgermer.com/about/

3. 3https://centerformsc.org/5-myths-of-self-compassion/

4. 4https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/#3elements

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8 Self-Compassion Exercises to Enhance the Relationship You Have With Yourself

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Most of us know that we should be kind to ourselves, and yet it can be quite difficult to do so. For one reason or another, many of us struggle to care for ourselves with the same compassion we would offer to someone we love. For this reason, self-compassion meditation and exercises are crucial.

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Earth, Wind & Fire - "Keep Your Head To The Sky" (w/lyrics)

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Kristin Neff: The Three Components of Self-Compassion

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Virtue of Hope?  How does it resonate with you?

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Virtue of Hope?  How does it resonate with you?

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Researchers explore where it came from, why it's so destructive, and how to dismantle it.

The angry Black woman stereotype exists in many parts of American culture - including the workplace. Studies show people in organizations believe Black women are more likely to have belligerent, contentious, and angry personalities, an assumption not as readily assigned to other men and women. Recent studies suggest this negative perception is a unique phenomenon for Black women, and the researchers suggest that when Black women outwardly express anger at work, her leadership and potential are called into question.

The angry Black woman stereotype has penetrated many parts of American culture, including the workplace. This pervasive stereotype not only characterizes Black women as more hostile, aggressive, overbearing, illogical, ill-tempered and bitter, but it may also be holding them back from realizing their full potential in the workplace - and shaping their work experiences overall.

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Daphna Motro is an assistant professor of management and entrepreneurship at Hofstra University's Frank G. Zarb School of Business.

Jonathan B. Evans is an assistant professor of the Organizational Behaviour and Human Resources Division at the University of British Columbia's Sauder School of Business.

Aleksander P.J. Ellis is the management and organizations department head at the University of Arizona's Eller College of Management

Lehman Benson III is an associate professor of management and organizations at the University of Arizona's Eller College of Management.

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HBR Learning

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Accelerate your career with Harvard ManageMentor®. HBR Learning's online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Diversity, Inclusion, and Belonging. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. Access more than 40 courses trusted by Fortune 500 companies.

How to build a better, more just workplace.

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The "Angry Black Woman" Stereotype at Work

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The angry Black woman stereotype exists in many parts of American culture - including the workplace. Studies show people in organizations believe Black women are more likely to have belligerent, contentious, and angry personalities, an assumption not as readily assigned to other men and women.

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Shifting from Trauma Informed Care to Healing Center Engagement

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Shifting from Trauma Informed Care to Healing Center Engagement

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Keynote - Dr Shawn Ginwright - Shifting from Trauma Informed Care to Healing-Centered Engagement in the Post-COVID World

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THE FOUR PIVOTS: REIMAGINING JUSTICE, REIMAGINING OURSELVES--BY DR. SHAWN A. GINWRIGHT

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The activities and exercises listed below are intended to augment your self-care plan or can be used independently.

The topics cover ways to maintain your physical health, decrease stress, increase relaxation and equanimity, and deal with challenging emotional situations (including work situations). We invite you to find the ones that are applicable to your life and situation.

We also recommend that you read Developing Your Support System for information on nurturing your relationships and enhancing your social support network and look through the Inspirational Materials and Self-Care Readings pages for resources you can use to enhance your spiritual, emotional, and intellectual well-being.

Healthy Eating

One important way to maintain and enhance your physical health is through healthy eating. The USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion has prepared recommendations based on the most current research to help you evaluate and improve your food choices. Check out the Dietary Guidelines for Americans website's current dietary guidelines.

Physical Fitness and Immunity

Getting regular physical exercise and taking steps to protect yourself from contracting colds and flu bugs are fundamental aspects of self-care. Tips for Increasing Physical Activity includes ideas for boosting your overall level of physical activity as well as incorporating exercise into your daily routine. Strengthen Your Immune System offers pointers to keep your immune system strong and your body healthy.

Reducing Stress

There are many ways to begin reducing your stress and some of them only take a few moments. Look over the suggestions in Some Simple Ways to Relieve Stress to see if there is something you can do right now (and do it!) and also make a note of the other activities you can incorporate into your daily life from now on. For specific suggestions on how to lower stress while you are at work try 21 Ways to Reduce Stress During the Workday.

Another technique that some people employ to deal with their stress is to try to understand and address the factors that contribute to it. Practicing Stress Journaling can be useful in this regard.

Time Management

One of the most common complaints associated with feelings of stress is, "There isn't enough time!" Use the tips provided in Time Management to help you prioritize and schedule your time, set goals, and end procrastination.

Relaxation

Learning how to relax is vital for self-care. Fortunately there are a number of well-developed techniques you can use. Step-by-step instructions on how to use progressive muscle relaxation and visual imagery to ease tension and increase relaxation are included in Effective Methods for Relaxation.For other ways to achieve (or return to) a more peaceful state, check out the exercises described in Energy Management For Care Providers and Creating Your Special Place. Additional techniques you might consider are yoga, Tai Chi, and massage - for online resources and local practitioners consult the Online and Other Self-Care Resources webpage.

Mindfulness

When we feel stressed and overburdened, it can often seem like we're living on "autopilot," disconnected from the here-and-now and our present experience. One remedy for this is mindfulness, which involves direct and nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment. You may have heard of mindfulness as a form of meditation, but it can also be a general orientation to your own experience. "When you are mindful, you are awake to life on its terms - fully alive to each moment as it arrives, as it is, and as it ends" (Sanderson, nd). For an introduction to how you can become more mindful, read through Mindfulness and learn mindful breathing. As with many of the materials listed in this section, these materials may be helpful for your clients as well.

Avoiding Compassion Fatigue

Compassion fatigue can develop from a combination of burnout (feelings of hopelessness and difficulties at work or in doing your job effectively) and secondary or vicarious traumatization (from exposure to the traumatic life experiences that your clients report). Check out Ways to Avoid Compassion Fatigue for key elements to enhance your resilience in the workplace.

Assertiveness

Learning to be assertive (rather than unassertive or aggressive) is a tremendously important skill for your emotional well-being - one that can positively impact your life both personally and professionally. Assertiveness enables direct and honest communication and important boundary setting, and it can address some of the situations that add to feelings of stress. Read over Assertiveness and Nonassertiveness to begin to learn and practice the skills.

Be Good to Yourself

Much of what we have described in these Student Self-Care webpages (and more), is summed up on a handy single page, Tips for Vitality and Serenity. Check it out (and keep it handy), and be good to yourself!

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The activities and exercises listed below are intended to augment your self-care plan or can be used independently. The topics cover ways to maintain your physical health, decrease stress, increase relaxation and equanimity, and deal with challenging emotional situations (including work situations). We invite you to find the ones that are applicable to your life and situation.

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Actions, steps, and strategies to combat caregiver burnout this school year

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Actions, steps, and strategies to combat caregiver burnout this school year

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The Pandemic of Educator Stress | EdCan Network

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Long before the COVID-19 pandemic, teachers were tasked with supporting students in the midst of the most seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

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Healthy Monday for Workplace Wellness:  12 Strategies

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Healthy Monday for Workplace Wellness:  12 Strategies

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Finding ways to fit in healthy behaviors while working is essential when trying to reach or maintain wellness goals - even if the workplace is a bedroom or home office.

The Healthy Monday Workplace Wellness program is a 12-week series designed to offer users a unique practice every Monday to help them stay active and stress-free during the workday. Individuals or employers can promote regular physical activity, better sleep, and moments of meditation by using this material for themselves or distributing it to their teams.

We make the program easy, with an automated email that delivers each week's resources directly to subscribers' inboxes every Monday morning for the duration of the program.

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Finding ways to fit in healthy behaviors while working is essential when trying to reach or maintain wellness goals - even if the workplace is a bedroom or home office. The Healthy Monday Workplace Wellness program is a 12-week series designed to offer users a unique practice every Monday to help them stay active and stress-free during the workday.

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Definitions and Strategies Around Compassion Fatigue from stress.org

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Definitions and Strategies Around Compassion Fatigue from stress.org

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Compassion Fatigue - The American Institute of Stress

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“We have not been directly exposed to the trauma scene, but we hear the story […]

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Self-care is not selfish. You must fill your own cup before you can pour into others.

self-care and mental health

Ideally, we all engage in regular self-care in which we do the things that make us feel taken care of mentally, physically, and emotionally. But this doesn't always happen, and we may need to stop and take the time to remind ourselves we are important, too.

Sometimes our feelings become too much and we need to distract ourselves until we are better able to cope. We can also strategically change how we are feeling when things become too overwhelming.

What is self-care?

Self-care is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. It means doing things to take care of our minds, bodies, and souls by engaging in activities that promote well-being and reduce stress. Doing so enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively. The practice of self-care also reminds both you and others that your needs are valid and a priority.

Examples of self-care

Clean

Cook or bake

Cross something off your to-do list

Exercise

Get a massage

Go for a walk

Listen to music or a podcast

Make art

Meditation

Mindfulness exercises

Play a game

Practice deep breathing

Read

Take a bath

Take a (timed) nap

Watch TV or a movie

Yoga

distraction as a strategy

Why should I distract myself?

Activities are a great way for us to distract ourselves from our current emotions until we are better able to cope. When our level of distress is too high, we may not be able to effectively handle a situation and need ways to bring our emotional state down. Some suggestions may seem similar to self-care, but distraction activities serve a different purpose. One person's self-care activity is another's distraction technique.

Examples of distraction activities

Call a friend (and don't talk about what's causing you distress)

Create something

Describe your surroundings using your five senses

Do a puzzle

Do something kind for someone else

Focus on a single task

Go out to eat

Go to an event

Hold ice

Listen to music or a podcast

Make a list of things (cars, dog breeds, music artists, etc.)

Take a hot or cold shower

Try something new

Volunteer

Watch something funny

Watch TV or a movie

changing our emotions

Is my response warranted?

Check to see if the situation warrants the response you're having. Examine the facts. While our emotions are always valid, they are not always justified. Look to see if your emotional response matches the circumstances.

Am I being effective?

Examine whether what you're doing is helping or hurting the situation. If it's making things worse, do the opposite of whatever it is you feel like doing. Commit to it. If you want to stay home and isolate, force yourself to go out where there are people. If you're angry and want to yell, try avoiding the person who your anger is directed towards.

Self-Care Recommendations

Podcast with Active Minds' Founder and Executive Director, Alison Malmon

Alison joined sisters Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler on their podcast "Take 20" to discuss tips for self-care, navigating stress, how to have hard conversations with loved ones, and more. Listen to the two-part series here.

Episode One
Episode Two Image from Take 20 Podcast

from California's Each Mind Matters

Free Resources:

Personal Self-care:

For Individuals Living with Mental Illness:

For Individuals Concerned about Unemployment:

For Communities:

For Institutions of Higher Education:

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Self-care is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. Doing so enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively.

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As educators, our lives are full and we are often so busy taking care of others, there seems to be no time left to take care of ourselves. Below are some simple "practices" you may wish to consider. They are not new or fancy ideas. Sometimes we just need reminders. I hope the ideas that follow will help you remember to take time for you!

1. Start your day in a positive way. Create a mindfulness practice. Set your alarm 5-20 min before you actually have to get up to do a daily mindfulness/meditation practice before you even get out of bed.

2. Set your alarm to be an invitation to a new day. Choose an inspiring song as your alarm and change the label of your phone to reflect something uplifting: Joy, Gratitude, I'm alive!

3. Nurture yourself with water. Drink water when you first wake up and throughout the day. Have a water bottle that looks and feels inviting. Add bits of fruit or lemon in your water so that it tastes good and is good for you.

4. Choose short inspirational daily readings as a way to nurture and fill your mind with positivity and strategies for wellbeing. "The Language of Letting Go" by Melanie Beatty is one of my favorites.

5. Use your journal as a friend. Take a few minutes to check in with yourself to see how you are feeling. Once you are self aware it is much easier to self manage. Write/draw about whatever is on your mind and heart.

6. Plan meals that nourish your body, mind and spirit. Pack simple, healthy meals you enjoy eating. A small bit of chocolate you can savor can feel more indulgent and enjoyable than a whole candy bar. Be mindful to minimize processed sugar, caffeine, and other foods that change your mood and can cause you to crash.

7. Minimize the news and technology when you wake up and an hour before you go to sleep. End your day with a gratitude list.

8. Create your uplifting transition from home to school routine as well as from school to home. Do you have a theme song or playlist that lifts you up and inspires you?

9. Before greeting your students call on your inner Cookie Monster. Use positive self-talk, stand up straight and take a deep breath. You've got this!

10. Do exercise that you enjoy, even if that means walking the hallways at school with a friend for 10-20 minutes each day after school.

11. Feed your mind with interesting and positive podcasts. Talk to your friends and colleagues to share podcast ideas.

12. Pause for applause. Remember to take time to celebrate even small accomplishments.

13. Replace the 4 Cs of criticism, contempt, contention and control with the 3 As of appreciate, acceptance and assertiveness.

14. Be mindful of the language you use with yourself as well as others. Use the language of virtues... When you forget the lunch you made at home, instead of beating yourself up and saying. "I'm so stupid" replace shaming and blaming and invite yourself to a virtue..."Perhaps I can be more mindful and leave my keys in the fridge with my lunch so that I remember to take it with me?"

15. Create a vision board or some kind of visual to remind you of things that bring you peace and joy. Display it where you can see it.

16. Have a gratitude jar or journal. Put things in on a daily basis. When you might benefit from a lift, read what you have written.

17. PBS: Pause, breathe and smile

18. Get 6-8 hours of sleep each night. Melatonin can help you fall asleep. If you wake up in the middle of the night, listen to a guided meditation or repeat a mantra such as "love and peace, love and peace, love and peace".

19. Being in community to share is helpful. 12 step programs such as Alanon can be helpful. Also https://www.millennium.org/forum has online sharing groups for educators.

20. It's OK not to be/feel OK and getting professional support can be really helpful.

21. Use essential oils and aromatherapy as a way to help you relax.

22. Submerge yourself in water. Enjoy a bubble bath with candles or go for a swim. Instead of counting laps, I swim by saying a different virtue for each length of the pool. It is very soothing.

23. Consider yoga, stretching, body work. You might consider setting an alarm throughout the day to have you and your students notice how you are feeling and do some simple stretches.

24. Take time to play. Our to do lists are never done lists. It is essential to take time each day to play, even if it means giving yourself 5-10 magical/meaningful minutes a day to walk in nature, do an art project, daydream. When we step away from being purposeful, it creates space for grace to come in. When we go back to work we are more focused and are better able to come up with solutions.

25. Use the Virtues Cards app to do daily virtues pick. It is quick and easy and can be done throughout the day. You can shake your phone to randomly select a card or look at the list for the virtue you want to reflect on at that moment. You can share the virtue card in social media or in a group chat and your friends and family can share reflect together. Visit www.virtuesmatter.com/app to access the free app with a set of 50 sample cards. To purchase the full decks for 1.99 or .99 click on the shop within the app.

For additional resources, I invite you to check out my blog posts:
"Dear Compassionate Colleague, What Do You Know About Trauma Why Mindfulness and How to Get Started
You may also wish to read or listen to my book, The Heart of Education: Bringing Joy, Meaning and Purpose Back to Teaching and Learning, which you can access for free towards the bottom of my book page.

Finally, I have learned many of these strategies from my mentor, Linda Kavelin Popov, co-founder of The Virtues Project. I highly recommend her book, A Pace of Grace: Virtues for a Sustainable Life. Just reading a couple of paragraphs a day, just might give you the clarity you need and some space for grace that will life you up!

Wishing you much joy, meaning and purpose!

With love and gratitude for who you are and all you do,

Dara

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As educators, our lives are full and we are often so busy taking care of others, there seems to be no time left to take care of ourselves. Below are some simple "practices" you may wish to consider. They are not new or fancy ideas. Sometimes we just need reminders.

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Why Self Care is Important and Strategies for Self Care

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Why Self Care is Important and Strategies for Self Care

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You're overwhelmed at work. You have a ton of projects piling up at home, and your calendar is packed with overdue tasks. To make room for all of this stuff, you skip lunch, stop going to the gym, and forget about your social life entirely. When we're stressed, self care is usually the first thing to go. And that only makes things worse.

As fluffy and indulgent as the phrase "self care" may sound, it's just a few basic habits that are crucial to your functioning. Most of us grew up believing that the more you sacrifice, the bigger the reward. In high school, for example, I once signed up for a debate tournament and forced myself to stay up all night preparing. I figured pushing myself to the point of exhaustion had to pay off. Of course, the next day, I was so exhausted I could barely form coherent sentences, and I tanked.

The point is, it's easy to take the "hard work pays off" adage too far, to the point that it becomes counterproductive. Your abilities are worn. Your skills aren't as sharp. You lose focus. You might think you're working hard, and maybe you are in some ways, but you're not working efficiently.

Self Care Isn't Just Important, It's Crucial

It's easy to neglect taking care of ourselves because when we're busy and overwhelmed, even a small reprieve feels like a luxury. So actually taking time to eat lunch, exercise, and hang out with friends? That just feels like slacking.

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That mindset backfires, though. Self care actually helps you make progress faster for a few reasons:

Sometimes I treat self care as a reward. I'm so hungry I can barely think, but I'll force myself to finish a batch of work before I eat lunch. What I'm really doing is making my job more difficult by allowing myself to run on fumes.

In other words, self care is not a reward. It's part of the process. Sometimes we get so used to "rewarding ourselves" with lunch or even a trip to the bathroom, though, that we forget exactly what it means to take care of ourselves.

Make Time to Eat Well and Exercise, Even If You're Busy

It's easy to neglect exercise when you're overextended because, well, exercise requires time, energy, and often a change of clothes or trip to the shower. It's daunting, messy, and uncomfortable.

It's important, though, so you want to make time for it in your daily routine. Consider teaming up with a workout buddy or a group to hold yourself accountable. If you're busy, try an app like . It suggests specific exercises and routines based on how much time you have, even if it's only five minutes. Or, find a gym that's close to work, or better yet, along your commute. This way, you get a workout and you beat traffic. Of course, no matter how busy or unmotivated you are, sometimes you just have to get up and do it.

Everyone wants to eat well and find food that's good for them, but it's hard to cook or plan meals when you're busy. When I have three deadlines on my tail, I'm much more likely to reach for leftover pizza rather than make myself a salad.

It's also hard enough to eat healthy in a world filled with processed food, though. Start small, as our own Beth Swarecki suggests. Do you want to eat less sugar? Control your carb intake? Focus on one area at a time rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet at once.

Also, sometimes eating junk feels like self care. I often "treat" myself with a handful of Oreos. Nothing wrong with the occasional indulgence, but in contrast, I think of healthy food as the enemy, so I don't eat it as much of it as I should. This really involves changing the way you think about eating well entirely, but you can start by experimenting with healthy foods you might actually like, and not trying to force yourself to eat stuff you hate just because it's healthy.

Practice Good Emotional Hygiene

The physical aspect is obviously important, but when a lot of people talk about self care, they're talking about emotional health: dealing with stress, anxiety, sadness, depression. And that's probably because we tend to ignore it more. As psychologist Guy Winch asks, "We brush and floss but what daily activity do we do to maintain our psychological health?"

When you're feeling any kind of intense emotion-stress or anger, for instance-it helps to take a quick break to process it. What exactly are you feeling, and why? It might help to run down a list of feeling words to help better pinpoint your emotion.

For a long time, when I'd feel anxious or stressed, I'd work right through it, frustrated the entire time. For example, if my boss asked me to fix something I worked hard on, I'd get upset and stressed out, rush through it, all the while beating myself up for being a failure. I was hurt and frenetic-not the best conditions for getting stuff done.

Instead, I now try to set aside a minute to acknowledge my feelings, even if it's just admitting to myself that I feel rejected. I simply stop what I'm doing, walk away for a second, and pinpoint my feeling. Acknowledging it serves a practical purpose. For one, it forces me to slow down and think more rationally. It's like taking a break. It also keeps my emotions from taking over even more. My boss tells me to fix something and I feel rejected, but now I know that. So when I start to tell myself I'm a failure, it's a lot easier to remind myself, "you're not a failure, you're just feeling rejected about this project right now."

Keeping a journal is a good idea, too. It's cathartic. And in a study from the journal Advances in Psychiatric Treatment researchers found that journaling for 15-20 minutes helped study participants cope with traumatic, stressful, or emotional events.

It sounds very touchy-feely, I know, but that's sort of the point of emotional hygiene. You want to take time to deal with your feelings so you can control them and get back to work. Controlling them means acknowledging and understanding them.

If your emotional pain is especially difficult to manage, you might consider finding a good therapist or counselor. If you can't really afford one, try dialing 211, the FCC's line that connects you to local community services.

Protect Your Schedule

A few years ago, I was consistently working 50-60 hours a week, and predictably, I was stressed, irritable, and unfocused. This is common, according to research from John Pencavel of Stanford University (PDF). He found that after about 50 hours of work, employee productivity and output plummets.

Protecting your schedule often means learning to say no to things, which can be tough. Wharton professor Adam Grant suggests:

The Deferral: "I'm swamped right now, but feel free to follow up"

The Referral: "I'm not qualified to do what you're asking, but here's something else"

The Introduction: "This isn't in my wheelhouse, but I know someone who might be helpful"

Of course, sometimes you just have a boss or manager that asks for too much. In that case, you may need to schedule time to discuss your workload and your responsibilities. It's easier said than done, and not all bosses will understand the need for self care, unfortunately. However, it's a better option than simply continuing to say yes.

Maybe you're the one squeezing too much in your schedule, though. One way to combat this is to add empty events in your schedule. This way, if a task takes longer than expected or something else comes up, you've budgeted the extra time for it.

Finally, squeeze some time in your schedule for yourself. Create some down time in your schedule to devote to activities you enjoy: reading, catching up on game highlights, looking at the clouds. Block that time in your calendar, too. Then, do everything you can to defend that time.

Spend Your Time (and Money) on What Matters

Sometimes being busy feels good. When I was working 50-60 hours a week, I felt successful just because I was constantly working. I wasn't necessarily getting anywhere, though. It was the illusion of progress. In fact, I put off a lot of goals I wanted to accomplish in exchange for the satisfaction I got from crossing stuff off my to-do list. Sometimes, real progress means being unproductive. It can be hard to put tasks and obligations on hold, but sometimes that's exactly what you have to do in the spirit of self care.

Focus on the "one big thing" each day that will make you feel accomplished, as business coach Mark McGuinness suggests. This way, you're aware of what really matters to you, which makes it easier to prioritize your time accordingly.

And your money is a lot like your time. We all spend it wastefully every now and then, and that's to be expected, but ultimately, you want to spend it on what matters to you. When we're stressed, it's common to spend mindlessly. That usually makes things worse, because money is a huge source of stress for a lot of us.

Learning to manage it is another way to embrace self care, and you can start by creating a budget with a purpose. Even if the purpose is getting out of debt, it helps to declare why getting out of debt is important to your bottom line. Maybe you want to travel. Maybe you want to feel secure. Either way, make the goal about you, and not only will you feel better about it, you'll also be more apt to stick to it, and therefore less stressed.

Taking care of your basic physical and emotional needs should really be the backbone for getting stuff done, but ironically, self care is usually the first thing to go. If it's gotten to the point that you've perhaps even forgotten what it means to take care of yourself, these points should help you recover.
Illustration by Fruzsina Kuhári.

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You're overwhelmed at work. You have a ton of projects piling up at home, and your calendar is packed with overdue tasks. To make room for all of this stuff, you skip lunch, stop going to the gym, and forget about your social life entirely.

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Navigating childhood challenges can be stressful, and sometimes deep breathing isn't the solution that works for your child. When your child is in need of tension relief, try one of these techniques:

1. Try an inversion. For centuries, Yogis have understood the calming power of bringing the head below the level of the heart, otherwise known as inversion. Whether it's relaxing in child's pose, bending over to touch your toes, or practicing a headstand, inverting the body has a restorative effect on the autonomic nervous system, which controls the body's response to stress.

2. Visualize a quiet place. Research has shown that visualization is beneficial for a range of populations to reduce stress levels. Ask your child to close their eyes and picture a calm, peaceful place. Then, gently guide them to slowly start to build up a picture of how it looks, smells, and feels to be there.

3. Drink water. Dehydration has been linked to a reduction in mental performance. Pour your child a tall class of cold water and have them sip it slowly. You can try this with them, and observe the calming effect this has on your own nervous system.

4. Sing out loud. Everyone knows the sweet relief associated with rocking out to your favorite tune. But the physical act of singing out loud, even if it is off key, has been shown to release endorphins, the "feel good" chemical in the brain.

5. Do the "Downward Facing Dog" pose. Just like inversions help reset the autonomic nervous system, the yoga pose known as Downward Facing Dog in particular has the added benefit of activating several muscles in the arms, legs, and core. This stretch helps muscles begin to burn additional blood glucose that is made available by the body's fight or flight response.

6. Paint it out. Not only does painting give the brain something to focus on other than the stressor, but participating in visual arts has been linked to resilience to stress in general. If the thought of dragging out the tempera gives you stress, have your child try "painting" with shaving cream on a plastic shower curtain in the yard. Not only is clean up a breeze, but your child will smell great when they are finished.

7. Jump rope. Set a timer for 2 minutes, put on some music, and challenge your child jump to the beat of the song. If your child isn't able to jump rope, playing hop scotch is a great alternative.

8. Jump high. Challenge your child to a jumping contest to see who can jump highest, longest, fastest, or slowest. This is another great way to get in some exercise to help your child blow off some steam.

9. Blow bubbles. Just like blowing on a pinwheel, blowing bubbles can help your child gain control of their breathing and thus, their mental state. Bonus: Running around popping bubbles is just as fun as blowing them.

10. Take a hot bath. After a long day at work, there is nothing more relaxing than laying in a bathtub of hot water with the lights turned down and no interruptions. The same holds true for kids. Use bath time as a chance to help your little one unwind from the activities of the day. Introduce a few simple bath toys and allow your child to relax as long as they need to.

11. Take a cold shower. While the complete opposite of a hot bath, cold showers actually have a restorative effect on the body. Not only do cold or even cool showers reduce inflammation in the muscles, it improves heart flow back to the heart, and leads to a boost in mood. One study on winter swimmers found that tension, fatigue, depression, and negative moods all decreased with regular plunges into cold water.

12. Have a cozy drink. There is a reason why many people herald September as the beginning of Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) season. Drinking a warm drink on a cool day makes your body feel warm, almost like a hug from the inside. Giving your child a warm hot chocolate or warmed milk with a splash of vanilla will elicit the same response you have over that first sip of your PSL.

13. Blow out a candle. Light a candle for your child to blow out. Then re-light it and move it further and further away from them, so they have to take deeper and deeper breaths to blow it out. This is a great way to practice deep breathing, while making a game out of it.

14. Watch fish. Have you ever wondered why there is always a fish tank in hospitals and medical centers? The University of Exeter in the UK did, and found that watching fish swim in an aquarium reduces blood pressure and heart rate. Better yet, the larger the fish tank, the greater the effect. The next time your child needs to calm down, take them to the local lake, hatchery, or aquarium for a little fish-watching therapy.

15. Count backwards from 100. Not only does counting give your child a chance to focus on something other than what is bothering them, counting backwards offers an added concentration challenge without overwhelming their brain.

16. Repeat a mantra. Create a mantra that you and your child can use to help them calm down. "I am calm" or "I am relaxed" work well, but feel free to get creative and make it something personal to you and your child.

17. Breathe into your belly. Most of us breathe incorrectly, especially when we are in a stressful situation. Have your child think about their belly like it is a balloon. Tell them to breathe in deep to fill the balloon, and breathe out to deflate it. Repeat this simple process 5 times and notice the effects.

18. Shake a glitter jar. "Calm Down Jars" have been making their way around Pinterest for a while now, but the concept behind them is sound. Giving your child a focal point for 3-5 minutes that is not the stressor will allow their brain and body to reset itself. These jars can be made simply from sealed canning jars filled with colored water and glitter or with baby food jars filled with warm water and glitter glue.

19. Go for a run. Running has been shown to reduce stress, and can sometimes be more effective than a trip to the therapist's office. Going for a 10 minute jog can not only affect your child's mood immediately, its effects on their ability to cope with stress can last for several hours afterward.

20. Count to 5. Just when it seems as though they "can't take it anymore", have your child close their eyes and count to five. This form of 5-second meditation offers the brain a chance to reset itself and be able to look at a situation from a different perspective. It also gives your child a chance to think before they act in a volatile situation.

21. Talk it out. For children who are able to verbalize their feelings, talking about what is bothering them gives them a chance to let you know what is going on while processing it for themselves. The trick is to resist the urge to "fix" the problem. Your child needs you to listen and ask appropriate questions, not offer unsolicited advice.

22. Write a letter in the voice of your BFF. We would never talk to our best friend in the same critical way we talk to ourselves. The same is true for our children. Tell them to be kind to themselves, and ask them what they would tell a best friend to do in their situation.

23. Decorate a wall. We're not talking about paint and decor, but poster tack and pictures from magazines or printed from the internet can give your child a chance to create large-scale temporary art in any space. The creative process is what is important, not the end result.

24. Create a vision board. Have your child cut out words and pictures from magazines that speak to their interests, desires, and dreams. Then have them glue these pictures and words onto a poster board to display in their room. Not only does the process of creation allow them to think about what they want from life, displaying things they love gives them an opportunity to focus on what is really important when they are upset.

25. Give or get a bear hug. Hugging allows your body to produce oxytocin, a naturally occurring hormone in your body necessary for immune system function. Not only does a 20 second hug reduce blood pressure, increase feelings of well-being, and reduce the harmful physical effects of stress, both you and your child will reap the benefits!

26. Walk in nature. According to Stanford scientists, walking in nature has been proven to improve cognition and reduce stress. Even if you do not have time to spend the 50 minutes researchers did, taking a 15 minute walk in nature works can be just what your child needs.

27. Envision your best self. This is a great way to motivate your child to work toward a goal. Have them write down where they would like to see themselves in a week, a month, or a year, with this specific goal in mind.

28. Blow on a pinwheel. Similar to the candle exercise, blowing on a pinwheel focuses more on controlled exhalation rather than deep inhalation. Tell your child to make the pinwheel go slow, then fast, then slow to show them how they can vary the rate at which they blow out the air in their lungs.

29. Squish some putty. When a child plays with putty, the brain's electrical impulses begin firing away from the areas associated with stress. Try a store bought putty or make your own.

30. Take up pottery. Much in the way playing with putty fires electrical impulses in your child's brain, sculpting with clay or throwing pots can have a similar effect. It also has the added benefit of being considered "active learning", a powerful condition that allows your child to learn through exploration.

31. Write it out. For older children, journaling, or writing their feelings down can have a profound effect on their mood, especially if they can do so without the fear of having it read. Give your child a notebook to keep in a safe place, and allow them to write about how they feel, assuring them you will not read it unless they ask you to.

32. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. A cousin to "write it out", gratitude journaling has been linked to better performance in the classroom as well as a reduction of stress outside of learning environments. Having a separate notebook only for things your child is grateful for will give them the freedom to keep their journaling activities separate.

33. Name your emotion. Often when children become overwhelmed, it is because they have difficulty identifying the negative thoughts they are having. Whether your child is quick to anger, panic, or obsess to ensure things are perfect, ask them to give this feeling a name, and help them talk back to it. For instance, by asking your child, "is Mr. Perfect bothering you again?" you can work together to help them challenge their perfectionism, rather than fight them over it.

34. Rock in a rocking chair. Not only does rocking in a rocking chair provide non-weight bearing strengthening to the knees and core, its repetitive nature offers stress-relief as well. Rock in a rocking chair with your child or allow them to rock by themselves as a way to self-soothe their frenzied emotions.

35. Push against a wall. This trick is perfect for allowing the body to get rid of stress hormones without having to go outside or even leave the room. Have your child try to push the wall over for 10 seconds, 3 times. This process allows the muscles to contract in a futile attempt to bring the wall down, then relax, releasing feel-good hormones into the body.

36. Crinkle tissue paper. Babies are inherently aware of this trick as one of their favorite things to do is crinkle paper. Not only does crinkling tissue paper provide a satisfying noise, the textural changes in your child's hand sends sensory feedback to the brain in a pathway away from those associated with stress.

37. Pop bubble wrap. Anyone who has received a package in the mail knows the joy of popping row after row of bubble wrap. The same material can be found at most retailers and dollar stores and be cut into manageable pieces for stress-relief anywhere, anytime.

38. Roll a tennis ball on your back. An old physical therapy trick, rolling a tennis ball on your child's back will give them a gentle massage when they are most in need of a calming touch. Focus on the shoulders, neck, and lower back as these are typical places where the body holds tension.

39. Roll a golf ball under your feet. Rolling a golf ball under your child's feet can not only improve circulation, but there are pressure points on the bottom of the feet that relieve stress and relax the muscles of the feet and legs. Roll over the entire sole of your child's foot using various pressures for maximum benefit.

40. Go to your calm down space. Having a designated "Calm Down Space" in your home gives children an opportunity to retreat when they feel out of control and rejoin the group when they need to. It is important to make this space comfortable so your child wants to visit it when they are in need of a self-imposed "time out".

41. Play music. Music has a profound effect on mood, sleep, stress, and anxiety. Use a variety of musical styles to set the tone in your home, car, or your child's room.

42. Have a dance party. Adding a physical component to your musical enjoyment gets your kids moving and is a fun way to be active. Crank up the tunes and have a dance party in your living room when your child is in a bad mood and watch their mood transform.

43. Do a primal yell. Sometimes all of your child's emotions are simply too much to contain in their body. Have them stand with their feet shoulder width apart and imagine their feelings boiling up from their toes through their legs and body, and out of their mouths. They don't have to yell words, or even maintain a certain pitch, just whatever comes out that feels good to them.

44. Change the scenery. How many times have we thought to ourselves, "Just walk away," when confronted by a big emotion? Your child may simply need a change of scenery in order to calm down. If you are inside, head out. If you are outside, find a quiet space indoors. Either way, change the scenery and you will likely change the mood.

45. Go for a walk. There's a real reason people go for walks to clear their heads. Not only is the fresh air and exercise restorative, but the natural rhythm walking creates has a self-soothing quality. Take your child on a walk, and they may even open up to your about what is on their mind.

46. Plan a fun activity. When you are in an anxious moment, it can seem as though the walls are closing in and the world will come to an end. Some children need to focus on what is ahead of them in order to reset their internal dialog. Plan something fun to do as a family, and let your child have a say in it. Any topic that will get them focused on a future something to look forward to can be helpful.

47. Knead the bread. Grandmothers around the world will tell you that the process of bread making is a tremendous stress relief. Simple recipes are abundant online that allow your child to get their hands dirty turning and pushing dough. The best part is that at the end, you have homemade bread to show for it!

48. Make a bracelet. Crafting in general can facilitate a state of "flow" or a state characterized by complete absorption in an activity. The same concept can be extended to knitting, crochet, folding laundry, or any activity where your child forgets their external surroundings.

49. Get on a bike. Bicycling for children has largely become a thing of the past. With the introduction of bicycle lanes and paved trails in urban areas, bicycling is safer than ever and can be a powerful form of self-soothing. Not only is it easy on the joints, it promotes balance, exercise, and can be done with the whole family.

50. Take a coloring break. It's not without good reason that restaurants give children coloring; it gives them something to focus on, and can be a great mindfulness activity that reduces anxiety. Make a trip with your child to pick up some crayons and markers, and get them excited about filling in the pages of a coloring book.

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50 Calm-Down Ideas to Try with Kids of All Ages | GoZen!

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50 amazing calm-down ideas for kids when they feel anxious, angry, or fearful. These are great for adults too.

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Stress Less Week Toolkit from Active Minds

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Stress Less Week Toolkit from Active Minds

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Self-care describes in a practical, person-centred way what we should all be doing to maintain our health, wellness and wellbeing. Through self-care people can be healthier and remain so into old age, managing minor ailments themselves. We can also better manage, delay or even prevent the appearance of lifestyle diseases such as heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and many cancers.
READ MORE HERE

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Self-care describes in a practical, person-centred way what we should all be doing to maintain our health, wellness and wellbeing. Through self-care people can be healthier and remain so into old age, managing minor ailments themselves. We can also better manage, delay or even prevent the appearance of lifestyle diseases such as heart attacks, strokes, diabetes and many cancers.

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Action: give yourself a window of time to feel your feelings and write down your fears, overwhelms, things that make you anxious, etc... then turn your paper over and write down things you are grateful for, what's going well

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by MEGHAN RABBITT

Between the war in Ukraine, the plummeting stock market, record-breaking gas prices, and a long list of other scary, heartbreaking headlines, it's easy to go to the dark place these days. After all, there's a lot to process-and our technologically-connected, social media-focused ways make it easy to stay hyper-focused on the tough stuff.

Yet before you curse your phone and vow to limit your Instagram and Twitter doomscrolling, clinical psychologist Vaneeta Sandhu says we have an opportunity to really look at the tough emotions that are surfacing for so many of us right now and use them for good.

"For most humans, we'd rather get into doing mode when uncomfortable feelings come up because it helps us avoid those tough emotions," says Sandhu. "We'd rather distract ourselves with a glass of wine, with someone else's issues, or in any way that doesn't actually allow us to really feel someone else's sadness or grief. But the funny thing about feelings is that if we don't really look at them and truly feel them now, they'll come up again later."

The antidote, says Sandhu, is to really feel the vibration of sadness or anxiety or worry we're experiencing. "If we don't allow ourselves to really experience the grief and loss we've gone through and continue to go through as an entire world, we'll continue to feel it," she says.

We sat down with Sandhu to get her expert advice on where to start.

A Conversation with Vaneeta Sandhu

So many of us are heartsick watching the events unfold in Ukraine. Can you talk a little about the importance of empathy, but also how to not let it send you spiraling into a place where you want to withdraw?

The reason empathy is so important is that our feelings often point to our needs. They also allow us to better understand someone else's perspective or needs.

For example, if I have this feeling that I know what it's like to miss my family, and now I'm seeing families being separated in Ukraine, being able to allow myself to feel that experience can be helpful. It can inspire us to take action. Yet it's also important to set boundaries for ourselves.

I like to think about boundaries as an agreement we have with ourselves to protect our emotional wellbeing. We set boundaries by understanding what our own needs may be. Sometimes we don't know we violated a boundary until we can't sleep because we watched the news for too many hours. In that case, we know we can be proactive about our boundaries the next day by cutting ourselves off from the endless scrolling on our newsfeed.

How does feeling our feelings rather than turn away from them help us move through the tough emotions? And what can we do to feel the feelings we'd rather ignore?

I think the best way to move through difficult emotions is to schedule time to really feel them-time that's free of work and other distractions. It might be time you schedule some time alone or with someone else. And know going into that time that it will not feel great. It's really uncomfortable sitting with or talking about sadness, loneliness, and despair. Maybe you practice doing some deep breaths while you're feeling your feels; maybe you put yourself in a room in your home, or outside in nature, where you allow yourself to feel that feeling.

What are some tactics we can use to feel less anxious about the current events?

First, take care of yourself physically. Eating well, getting enough sleep, staying physically active-these things give you a head start when it comes to being able to manage anxious feelings.

Next, trust your future self. You and I are gathering new knowledge, skills, and wisdom every day because of what we're going through. I can handle uncertainty now way better than I could've before the pandemic. I bet you can, too! It's proof that you can trust your future self to be able to handle future worries and problems.

Finally, schedule time to worry. It sounds counterintuitive, but it can help you control how often you're worrying. Find 15 minutes each day and in those 15 minutes, write down all the things you're worried about. Let's say you decide to worry at 5 p.m. every day. What this means is if you find yourself worrying at 9 a.m. or 11 a.m. you can say OK, I'm not going to do this right now. What you'll learn quickly is that worries are pretty repetitive, but if we don't contain them to these 15 minutes, they show up more often and can infiltrate your day. When you stick to worrying in one 15-minute chunk of time, it allows you to feel more joy throughout the day.

I think many of us are projecting a very scary future, thinking about what a large-scale war might look like with Russia. How can we best handle the fear, anxiety, and sadness that may come up when we think about all the possible outcomes?

Navigating uncertainty is great at making us feel overwhelmed, and what's happening in the world right now feels out of control, which in turn makes us feel out of control. What's more, the news cycle is often the biggest contributor to our fear-anxiety-sadness cycle. So, it's important to really think about what you are consuming, when you're consuming it, and where you are when you're consuming it.

You can control what accounts you're following, what media you read, and what news stations you watch. Follow the one you find yourself paying attention to the most and only that one. Have that be a way you set a boundary.

You can also control when you consume your news-specifically what time of day. Do you check the news first thing in the morning? Right before bed? For example, if we start our day reading negative news headlines, there's a good chance we'll be pretty unhappy hours later. Scrolling through sad, scary images on social media in the minutes before you shut your eyes to go to bed at night? That's probably not the way you want to drift off to sleep.

It's also important to think about where you consume your news. Are you in bed, a place that's supposed to be restful? Are you on the couch, the place where you unwind with loved ones at the end of your day? A lot of us don't strategically and intentionally make the decision to read the news in a specific spot. I've worked with a lot of folks who prefer to not scroll in their home and, instead, they look at their newsfeed when they're in nature, or at their desks, or they listen to the news in the car. It's another way to set a boundary to protect your emotional wellbeing.

What does your personal emotional fitness routine look like right now?

I allow myself to take a break from feeling tuned-in to what's happening in the world. I don't need to keep up with every detail, every update, all the time.

I also keep an inventory of the week's wins: I take stock of small wins over the past week that I've learned about or experiences I've had. It helps me zoom out and gain perspective on my own life. For example, I recently helped a friend celebrate two years sober, and that took me out of the doom and gloom cycle of the news. We're so focused on these bigger global events right now and can mean we forget about the people around us.

Therapy is also important! Therapists have their own therapists. Therapy provides a space where you can sit and really feel your feelings, which can be so helpful for all of us.

I also try to focus on my one "must-do" value in which I invest my time, energy, and money. I'm a new mom, which has strengthened my value of women's health and mental health issues. So, that's the cause I stay up to date on. The truth is that there's so much to be done and so many social issues to invest in-reproductive rights, health rights, the war in Ukraine, Covid-and we all know our personal values, regardless of what's going on in world. So, choose one value you want to invest in and have that be your focus.
Dr. Vaneeta Sandhu is the Head of Emotional Fitness at Coa where she leads the creation of Coa's class experiences and curriculum. Through her background in clinical psychology and facilitation, she brings an engaging and down-to-earth approach in helping people prioritize mental health through the practice of emotional fitness. With more than 10 years of experience as a clinical psychologist, facilitator, educator, and public speaker, Vaneeta has worked with teams at Lyft, Yelp, Twitter, Reddit, and Dropbox to help managers and executives develop core leadership skills. Her expertise includes principles of behavior change, cross-cultural dynamics, and adult learning. To learn more visit coa.com.

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Overwhelmed by the News? Clinical Psychologist Vaneeta Sandhu Says the Best Way to Cope is to Really Feel Your Sadness, Fear, and Heartbreak. Here's How | Meghan Rabbitt

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by MEGHAN RABBITT Between the war in Ukraine, the plummeting stock market, record-breaking gas prices, and a long list of other scary, heartbreaking headlines, it's easy to go to the dark place these days. After all, there's a lot to process-and our technologically-connected, social media-focused ways make it easy to stay hyper-focused on the tough stuff.

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ASCD Article on Self-Care, Antidote to Compassion Fatigue

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ASCD Article on Self-Care, Antidote to Compassion Fatigue

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Six Ways for Educators to Avoid Compassion Fatigue

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Six Ways for Educators to Avoid Compassion Fatigue

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With such an overwhelming number of children facing trauma, it can be easy for educators to lose hope or burn out. They, and others in caring professions, can face "vicarious trauma," more commonly known as compassion fatigue-the cumulative, detrimental effect of working with survivors of traumatic life events. Symptoms can include insomnia, substance abuse, inability to focus, memory impairment, anxiety, depression, isolation, chronic fatigue, and more. So how can educators protect themselves from the many possible effects of vicarious trauma? Our Center for Special Education's Institute for Trauma Sensitivity (LIFTS) has some ideas.

1. Know what is yours to do.

Separate what you wish you could do from what you know you can do. You may feel that you are not doing enough-a sure way of developing stress and feeling overwhelmed. While you may not be able to prevent trauma or remove suffering children from their situations, you can do your job to the best of your ability, with love and compassion for both the students and yourself. Focus on the task at hand and be fully present for your students. You might begin the day by setting an intention such as, "Today my intention is to do my part in fostering a safe environment for my students..." And once your intention is set...

2. Let go of the result.

This is not to say that you stop caring about the efficacy of your teaching, connecting with students, or community building, it is to say that you can practice being less attached to exactly how you think things should look. When we loosen the grip on our ideas about the way things should be, we are much more open to new ideas and new ways of looking at things. Acknowledge the brain's desire for control with humor and compassion, and you create more space to find creative solutions.

3. Develop a self-care strategy.

Creating a strategy for taking care of yourself is a necessary step in avoiding compassion fatigue. Some ideas:

Spend quiet time alone to get centered and recount things that bring you joy and make you feel engaged with the world around you.

Integrate small steps toward wellness into your daily routine, such as eating better, getting outside, exercising, dancing, singing, or drawing.

Learn how to say no. There is a big difference between being dependable and always saying yes. Choosing to live in alignment with your own values, goals, mission and passion makes it easy to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no, thank you," alleviating resentment and allowing life to unfold more harmoniously.

4. Create a strong network.

In our competitive culture, it is easy to develop a sense that we have to go it alone. However, we are hardwired for connection and interdependence; it really does take a village. Build a professional community of trusted colleagues with whom you can share your vision, fears, hopes and successes. Look for allies to help in difficult situations-a maintenance specialist, office administrator, or the teacher next door might connect with a student who gives you the cold shoulder. Such relationships not only support you, they can help students build trust and confidence.

5. Be authentic.

In her book " The Gifts of Imperfection," author Brené Brown writes: "Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. [It] is a collection of choices that we have to make every day to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen." Showing up as your truest self is an invaluable gift to your students. In meeting ourselves where we are, we give students permission to meet themselves where they are.

6. Practice mindfulness.

The physical and emotional benefits of mindfulness, or focusing one's attention on the present moment and accepting what is rather than what should be, are many. Where chronic stress can shrink essential brain structures, practice of mindfulness meditation can increase the mass of those same structures, leading to benefits such as improved memory and focus, better sleep, lower blood pressure, and reduced anxiety and depression. Even when practiced for just a few minutes every day, mindfulness meditation can lead to increased self-awareness, self-acceptance, greater empathy, closer connections, and an overall sense of well-being.

More importantly, mindfulness can provide a new perspective. Rather than identifying with a continual stream of thoughts, we identify with a deeper sense of awareness. This, in turn, can lead to an experience of compassion as an endless, rather than exhaustive, resource-toward yourself, your colleagues, and your students.

Read more about How to Be Mindful.

Trauma & Learning Resources

Helping Traumatized Children Learn, by the Massachusetts Advocates for Children Trauma and Learning Policy Initiative

The report summarizes the research on how child development is affected by trauma, noting the varied consequences for academic performance as well as social and emotional functioning. This book identifies the need for school-wide ecological supports (Trauma Sensitive Schools) as the basis for student success.
Helping Traumatized Children Learn Volume II
This report articulates the process for encouraging development of Trauma Sensitive Schools, through the creation of Learning Organizations within schools that follow an effective change process using an inquiry based methodology. A policy agenda calls for changes in laws and policies to support schools.

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Six Ways for Educators to Avoid Compassion Fatigue

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It's easy to get overwhelmed by students' struggles. Here are some ways not to burn out when working with students with trauma.

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7 Activities and 7 Tips to Help Educators and Children Use Gratitude Practices to Better Cope with Stress, Manage Emotions, Find Joy, and Experience Increased Well-being by Katie Raher, PhD, PPS
As most of us entered a career in education, we felt sheer joy from working with children and making a difference in their lives, and we met our work with enthusiasm and optimism. Similarly, when children enter preschool or kindergarten, most children, even the most hesitant of them, have a spark of joy and enthusiasm that comes from learning new things.

Somewhere along the way, after being faced with far too many day-to-day stressors, the joy, enthusiasm, and optimism often wane, being replaced far too often with disengagement, emotional exhaustion, and more (Brenner, 2019; Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2019).
Since the systemic changes needed to change our educational realities are slow going, we need to turn to strategies that will bring more immediate benefits. To better equip us to navigate the many stressors that are bound to come our way. To bring us back to a place where we find more joy.
Gratitude happens to be one major powerhouse that can do just that.Practicing gratitude has been consistently linked to many benefits for our mental health, physical health, and relationships (Algoe, Haidt, & Gable, 2008; Brown, 2012; Emmons & McCullough, 2003):

Increased ability to cope with stressors, such as taking active steps to deal with challenges

Decreased experience of upset feelings like sadness, jealousy, resentment, and regret

Enhanced connections and social support, including increased outreach to others in times of stress, building of new bonds, strengthening of existing relationships, and cultivation of more trust

Improved wellness, including a reduction in pain symptoms, increased quantity and quality of sleep, and exercise promotion

More joy!

Above and beyond these general benefits, studies also suggest that a regular gratitude practice has specific benefits for those in schools (Chan, 2011; Froh, Emmons, Card, Bono, & Wilson, 2011; Froh & Bono, 2011; Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008; Qin, Qu, Yan, & Wan, 2015). For students, gratitude is related to increased generosity, resilience, school engagement, positive attitudes, satisfaction, and sense of belonging. Teachers who practice gratitude are more likely to see increased feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment, and decreased feelings of emotional exhaustion. And in good news, those with extensive trauma histories show significant benefits from a gratitude practice as well (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

While schools seem to dabble in exploring grateful feelings in the month of November due to Thanksgiving...

The power of cultivating gratitude should be harnessed all year long.
The mounting pressures facing educators and the increasing mental health challenges facing children are certainly not a one-month deal, so we need tools to help us for the long haul.
Now, by no means am I suggesting that you and your students don't deserve to sit in the very valid hard-to-have feelings that your experiences in education can bring up. In fact, allowing, noticing, and feeling any of your upset feelings will be vital to your well-being, and that of your students.
I am suggesting that a simple gratitude practice can be one powerful antidote to the stressors we face in school, and life.
Pulling from my own experiences, the wisdom of colleagues, and research, here are 7 activity ideas to help you create more gratitude in your school and 7 tips to help you reap the benefits of this practice.

7 Gratitude Practice Ideas for Educators and Children

1. Gratitude Circle. In your large group, go around the circle and have people take turns communicating who and what they are grateful for and why. For staff, it can be powerful to start meetings with a brief gratitude practice, or if you want a fun Bingo-style means to communicate gratitude in a large group staff meeting - either virtually or in person - you might enjoy my Gratitude Bingo for Educator Meetings. For students, you might enjoy creating a ritual of Thankful Thursdays, and start or end the day with a grateful circle. If you have feeling pillows, I've found that passing around the grateful feeling can be a helpful and tangible aid to the process.

2. Gratitude Get-together. Break into small groups (about 4 adults or children), and have each person take a turn "hosting" and receiving spoonfuls of gratitude from the others in the gathering. You might have a lot of reasons to thank the host, or you might not know them as well. In these cases, you can get creative and build your gratitude muscles. Perhaps you thank the host for the smile they gave you when you got to school, or you thank them for going first since you were feeling so nervous. Because it takes so much courage to admit we benefit from others, and to receive expressions of gratitude, I have found that pairing the brave pillow with the grateful feeling helper to be a super beneficial addition to this activity.

3. Gratitude Journal. Once a week, write down 3 good things in your world that you're grateful for and why your life is better with them.

4. Gratitude Letters. Pick 1 person who you're super grateful for, and write them a letter explaining why. For the most power, call and read the letter to them. If that can't work, send the letter. This can be done for someone in your personal life, and for someone in your school. Create an opportunity for your students to do the same.

5. Grateful Detectives. As a staff and/or as a class, have people take turns being on the lookout for grateful feelings. What created them? How were they communicated? Have the Grateful Detective(s) of the week share out at a staff meeting, or morning meeting. For kids, you can also have them be Grateful Detectives with their families, and then share the different ways gratitude is honored and expressed in their cultures.

6. Gratitude Wall or Jar. Create a bulletin board or jar with a gratitude theme, and have a place for students and staff to grab post-its (or other fun shapes of paper) and write brief thank you notes to others - both children and adults - at the school. At the end of each month, distribute the thank you notes, and begin building a new wall, or filling a new jar, of gratitude with your school or class community.

7. Gratitude Breaths. Close your eyes or look down (this provides a trauma-informed alternative for those who need it). Take 3 slow, deep breaths. On the first in-breath, think of 1 person you're grateful for and why, and send gratitude to them on the out-breath. Repeat for the second breath, thinking of someone who makes your experience of school better. On the final breath, send gratitude to yourself for any helpful steps you've taken, such as cultivating a gratitude practice and the joy it can bring. For younger children, hand out 3 small objects, such as pebbles, to represent each person, including themselves. Then have the children pick up 1 object at a time, while visualizing each person, breathing, and sending gratitude. As an educator, you may also enjoy taking 1 gratitude breath for a child who lights up your life, 1 breath for a colleague who makes your work more manageable, and 1 breath for yourself for continuing to show up for this invaluable, challenging work.

I've hopefully convinced you of the value of this practice. Any amount of time dedicated to gratitude will hopefully bring you some of the tremendous benefits that have been associated with this practice. And if you're like me, you'd like to optimize the practice to most fully reap those benefits (Brown, 2012; Lyubomirsky & Della Porta, 2010; Marsh, 2011).

7 Tips to Maximize the Benefits of Your Gratitude Practice
1. Focus more on people you're grateful for than things you're grateful for.
Example: I'm grateful for Ms. Williams. > I'm grateful for this ream of paper.
Don't get me wrong - plenty of us in education are super grateful for some basic things like copy paper! Research just suggests that focusing on the lovely people who made sure we have access to those things is going to better serve you and your well-being. 2. Be specific and go for depth rather than breadth.
Example: I'm so grateful Ms. Ramirez created the lesson we could share and made copies of the materials for my class too. > I'm so grateful for Ms. Brown, paper, food ...

Example: I'm so grateful for Aliya because she always takes turns with me to decide what we will play at recess. > I'm grateful for friends.
Of course, with children, you'll be supporting them in a way that adjusts to their developmental needs, and we can still have a goal to expand and deepen their gratitude practices over time. 3. Move beyond saying what you're grateful for. Also explain 4. Be sure to take note of the pleasant surprises within the ordinary parts of your day. why 5. Consider how things would be without your blessing, or remember the problematic past. you're grateful. 6. Keep it fresh and meaningful.
Example: Thank goodness Mr. Ingue fixed the copy machine before I got there today, so I didn't have a copy jam. I started my day so much calmer because of it and really saw a shift in how things went with my students this morning. > I'm grateful for Mr. Ingue fixing the copy machine.
7. Don't forget yourself.
Example: I'm so grateful Bren used his Kimochis® Keys to Communication today instead of yelling and hitting, because I could see how much more he was able to connect with friends, our lessons went so much more smoothly, and I feel like my hard work is paying off. > I'm so grateful Bren didn't yell and hit today.

Example: I'm so grateful Jaidon started his day by telling me he had a hard morning and needed some space while he had some sad feelings. His day and our class' day went so much better now that he's feeling more comfortable communicating his feelings and connecting with me.

Example: Ms. Brown makes me feel so comfortable sharing how hard a time I've been having with my students and never makes me feel judged, even when she gives me ideas. I remember the comments I used to get from my old admin and how I always felt so isolated and ashamed. I'm so blessed to now have someone who always makes sure I feel heard, understood, and valued.

Some research suggests that writing in a gratitude journal just once a week > Writing in a gratitude journal 3 or more times a week...though this isn't conclusive just yet, practicing gratitude just once a week is likely to get you some great benefits.

Example: I am so grateful that I had the courage to set a boundary today. I really didn't want to take on the extra committee duty because I've been feeling so swamped already. And I'm so grateful that I listened to my intuition and said no.

So...What tools and tips are you and your school already using to cultivate a gratitude practice? What is a new idea you want to try - for you, colleagues, and students? How might you modify these ideas to best meet your needs?

I hope you can make gratitude a consistent part of your Constant Love and Learning journey. Keep me posted on how it goes!

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Algoe, S. B., Haidt, J., & Gable, S. L. (2008). Beyond reciprocity: gratitude and relationships in everyday life. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 8, 425-429.

Brenner, E. (2019). The crisis of youth mental health. Available at: https://ssir.org/articles/entry/the_crisis_of_youth_mental_health [Accessed November 21, 2019]

Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York: Gotham Books.

Chan, D. W. (2011). Burnout and life satisfaction: does gratitude intervention make a difference among Chinese school teachers in Hong Kong? Journal of Educational Psychology: An International Journal of Experimental Educational Psychology, 31, 809-823.

Emmons, R. A., & Mishra, A. (2012). Why gratitude enhances well-being: What we know, what we need to know. In Sheldon, K., Kashdan, T., & Steger, M.F. (Eds.) Designing the future of positive psychology: Taking stock and moving forward. New York: Oxford University Press.

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377-389.

Froh, J. J., Emmons, R. A., Card, N. A., Bono, G., & Wilson, J. A. (2011). Gratitude and the Reduced Costs of Materialism in Adolescents, Journal of Happiness Studies, 12.

Froh, J. J., & Bono, G. (2011). Gratitude in youth: A review of gratitude interventions and some ideas for applications. Communique, 39, 26-28.

Froh, J. J., Sefick, W. J., & Emmons, R. A. (2008). Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being. Journal of School Psychology, 46, 213-233. Qin, Y., Qu, S., Yan, J., & Wan, X. (2015). The Role of Life Satisfaction and Coping Style in the Relationship between Gratitude and School Belonging. International Conference on Economy, Management and Education Technology.

Lyubomirsky, S., & Della Porta, M. (2010). Boosting happiness, buttressing resilience: Results from cognitive and behavioral interventions. In J. W. Reich, A. J. Zautra, & J. Hall (Eds.), Handbook of adult resilience: Concepts, methods, and applications (pp. 450-464). New York: Guilford Press.

Marsh, J. (2011). Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal [online] Greater Good. Available at: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal [Accessed November 21, 2019].

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. (2019). Educator confidence report. [online] Available at: https://www.hmhco.com/educator-confidence-report Accessed November 21, 2019].

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Cultivating Well-being, Resilience, and SEL for Educators and Children - constantloveandlearning.com

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7 Activities and 7 Tips to Help Educators and Children Use Gratitude Practices to Better Cope with Stress, Manage Emotions, Find Joy, and Experience Increased Well-being by Katie Raher, PhD, PPS As most of us entered a career in education, we felt sheer joy from working with children and making a difference in their lives, and we met our work with enthusiasm and optimism.

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Defining Compassion Fatigue, Vicarious Trauma & Burnout

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Defining Compassion Fatigue, Vicarious Trauma & Burnout

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Compassion fatigue has been described as the "cost of caring" for others in emotional pain (Figley, 1982).

The helping field has gradually begun to recognize that workers are profoundly affected by the work they do. Whether it is by direct exposure to traumatic events (for example, working as a paramedic, police officer, emergency hospital worker); secondary exposure (hearing clients talk about trauma they have experienced, helping people who have just been victimized, working as child protection workers); or the full gamut in between (such as working with clients who are chronically in despair, witnessing people's inability to improve their very difficult life circumstances or feeling helpless in the face of poverty and emotional anguish).

The work of helping requires professionals to open their hearts and minds to their clients and patients - unfortunately, this very process of empathy is what makes helpers vulnerable to being profoundly affected and even possibly damaged by their work.

What is the difference between compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma and burnout?

These three terms are complementary and yet different from one another.

While Compassion Fatigue (CF) refers to the profound emotional and physical erosion that takes place when helpers are unable to refuel and regenerate, the term Vicarious trauma (VT) was coined by Pearlman & Saakvitne (1995) to describe the profound shift in world view that occurs in helping professionals when they work with clients who have experienced trauma. Helpers notice that their fundamental beliefs about the world are altered and possibly damaged by being repeatedly exposed to traumatic material.

Burnout is a term that has been used since the early 1980s describe the physical and emotional exhaustion that workers can experience when they have low job satisfaction and feel powerless and overwhelmed at work. However, burnout does not necessarily mean that our view of the world has been damaged, or that we have lost the ability to feel compassion for others.

Most importantly, burnout can be fairly easily resolved: changing jobs can provide immediate relief to someone suffering from job-related burnout. This is not the case for CF and VT. Helpers can simultaneously experience Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma. They are cumulative over time and evident in our personal and professional lives. They are also an occupational hazard of working in the helping field. (Saakvitne & Pearlman, 1996)

As a helping professional, the distinction described above may not be particularly important to make. It is only important in so far as ithelps you understand the contributing factors that lead to developing CF or VT. As well, the more that we know about the problem, the more able we are to develop strategies to prevent/modulate the impact of what we experience. Gaining an understanding of where your personal Compassion sits can be done using the Proqol Self Test.

Is your job challenging because of the types of client situations you have to deal with? Because of the volume of work or because of a toxic supervisor? Or all of the above?

Read through the examples below and notice if you recognize elements of these scenarios in yourself:

If my job as an administrative assistant to a parole officer is to read the files of violent sex offenders, I may be secondarily traumatized and deeply disturbed by the content of what I read. This may, in turn, affect my sex life, my feelings of safety for my children or my ability to watch television (Vicarious Trauma). However,I may not necessarily feel too tired to talk to my friend who is going through a difficult time at home, and I may not find that this has caused me to feel deeply exhausted in my interaction with colleagues. But then again I may experience all of the above (Vicarious Trauma and Compassion Fatigue).

If I work as a nurse in palliative care, helping patients who are dying of cancer, I may feel incredibly drained, fatigued, unable to give any more and/or unable to stop thinking about my patients when I go home ( Compassion Fatigue). I may also find that I have become very preoccupied with death, dying and end of life issues. Over time, these may affect my world view and beliefs about ageing, cancer or similar issues (Vicarious Trauma).

Compassion fatigue and Vicarious Trauma are much more complicated than just being tired and overworked. They are often caused by a conflict between our deepest values and the work that we are required to do, a phenomenon which is called moral distress.

What are some of the signs of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma?

Researchers have discovered that helpers, when they are overtaxed by the nature of their work, begin to show symptoms that are very similar to their traumatized clients. These symptoms can negatively affect the workplace and create a toxic work environment.

Difficulty concentrating

Intrusive imagery

Feeling discouraged about the world

Hopelessness

Exhaustion and irritability

High attrition (helpers leaving the field)

Negative outcomes (dispirited, cynical workers remaining in the field, boundary violations)

What factors contribute to CF/VT and Burnout?

There are many reasons for which helping professionals can develop compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma. These are described in Saakvitne and Pearlman's book "Transforming the Pain" (1996):

The Individual:

Your current life circumstances, your history, your coping style and your personality type all affect how compassion fatigue may impact you.

Most helpers also have other life stressors to deal with. Many are in the "sandwich generation" - meaning that they take care of both young children and aging parents in addition to managing a heavy and complex workload. Helpers are not immune to pain in their own lives and, in fact, some studies show that they are more vulnerable to life changes (such as divorce and addictions) than people who do less stressful work.

The Situation:

Helpers often do work that other people don't want to hear about. They spend their time caring for people who are not valued or understood in our society. This may include individuals who are homeless, abused, incarcerated or chronically ill.

Furthermore, our working environments are often stressful and fraught with workplace negativity. This negativity is often a result of individual compassion fatigue, burnout and general unhappiness. The work itself is also very stressful. Dealing with clients/patients who are experiencing chronic crises, who have difficulty controlling their emotions, and/or those who may not get better can be draining.

Finally, we live in a society that glamorizes violence and does not adequately fund efforts to reduce or prevent violence in our society.

What can be done?

Organizational health researchers have been busy studying the most effective strategies to reduce, mitigate and prevent CF and VT in helping professionals. Here is what has been shown to be most effective:

Working in a Healthy Organization:

Studies show that "who you work for" is one of the biggest determinants of employee wellness. This includes:

Access to a supportive, flexible manager who is open to regular workload assessments in order to reduce trauma exposure

Leadership from a manager who encourages staff to attend ongoing professional education and who provides timely and good quality supervision as needed.

Employees who had more control over their schedule reported a higher rate of job satisfaction overall. Reducing hours spent working directly with traumatized individuals was the single most effective way of reducing VT.

Personal Strategies:

The top personal strategies identified includes:

Developing and maintaining a strong social support both at home and at work

Increased self-awareness through mindfulness meditation and narrative work such as journaling

Regular self care (which is unfortunately often an afterthought for busy helping professionals)

Remember that compassion fatigue is a process that develops over time and so is healing from its effects. Maybe some people can return to a full well of resources by taking a holiday or going for a massage but most of us need to make life changes and put our own health and wellness at the top of the priority list. Helpers need to develop stress resiliency skills so they can continue to be able to do this challenging work.

What if those strategies aren't enough?

Compassion Fatigue and burnout can lead to very serious problems, such as depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. When this happens you deserve to have help. Talk to your physician about options such as counselling.

What if I think that someone close to me is suffering from CF?

Be kind and supportive. It can be hard to hear that something you have been trying to hide is obvious to others.

Unfortunately, with a main focus on self-care and work-life balance as the sole solutions to compassion fatigue, some helpers have felt blamed for their CF. They have received a strong (and incorrect) message from their workplace - " If you feel burnt out, it means you are not taking good enough care of yourself ".

This can further silence people in pain and it is actually not true. The biggest contributors to CF are where you work, your workload, your working conditions and the amount of high quality training you have received in trauma-related areas - not the amount of kale you eat and yoga you practice (although those are great things to do as well!)

I am a manager, how can I help support my staff?

Introduce the topic of Compassion Fatigue at a staff meeting: Discuss it as an occupational hazard, something that happens to those who do their jobs well, and have a group discussion about ways to deal with it around the workplace such as peer supervision and clinical debriefings. Your staff may have other great suggestions. Don't be surprised if their main focus is on reducing workload and scheduling flexibility. Recent research shows that those are the two main areas of work that most significantly contribute to employee stress and illness.

Offer professional development for your staff: Include topics related to trauma-informed care and other skill-building strategies. Unfortunately, one of the first things to get cut when there are budget restrictions are education, training and backfill to release staff to attend workshops. Research clearly demonstrates that this is short-sighted. Helping professionals need time to learn new skills and opportunities to attend refreshers.

Offer counselling: Include counselling as part of your benefits package and encourage people to use the service. Be sure to use non-judgmental language and explain all aspects related to confidentiality.

Bring in Compassion Fatigue specialists: Recruit the experts to speak to your team or provide opportunities for staff to attend a compassion fatigue workshop.

Provide supportive supervision for your staff: Include compassion fatigue in your discussions, but don't be insulted if they don't want to speak to you directly about it.

Get some support yourself: It's lonely at the top! Many managers we speak to tend to be quite isolated and have very stressful jobs themselves. Join an online support group for managers. This can often be a good way for busy managers to receive support.

Develop an action plan: Even the best intentions can fail unless they're backed by an effective and comprehensive plan. Consider recruiting the help of an expert.

Sources:

Bober, T., Regehr, C. (2005) Strategies for reducing secondary or vicarious trauma: do they work? Brief Treatment and Crisis Intervention, Dec 30, 1-9.

Cohen-Katz, J., Wileys, S.D., Capuano, T., Bakers, D.M., Kimmel, S., & Shapiro, S. (2005). The effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on nurse stress and burnout, Part II: A quantitative and qualitative study. Holistic Nursing Practice, 19, 26-35.

Duxbury, L., Higgins, C., Lyons, S. (2010) The etiology and reduction of role overload in Canada's Health Care sector. Carleton University. Sprott School of Business.

Figley, C.R. (Ed). (1995) Compassion Fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Figley, C.R. (Ed.). (2002) Treating Compassion Fatigue, New York: Brunner/Routledge.

Kearney, M.K., Weininger, R.B., Vachon, L.S., Harrison, R.L., Mount, B.M. (2009). Self-care of physicians caring for patients at the end of life. JAMA, March 18, 2009 - vol 301, no 11.

Killian, K. (2008). Helping till it hurts? A multimethod study of compassion fatigue, burnout, and self care in clinicians working with trauma survivors in Traumatology, (14, 2) 32-44.

Saakvitne, K.W.; Pearlman, L. A., & the Staff of the Traumatic Stress Institute (1996): Transforming the pain: A workbook on vicarious traumatization. New York: W.W. Norton.

Shapiro, S., Brown, K.W, & Biegel, G.M. (2007). Teaching self-care to caregivers: effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in training. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, Vol. 1, No. 2, 105-115.

© Françoise Mathieu 2019

(Early drafts of this Q&A were co-developed with Robin Cameron of www.lifeinspired.ca. This text was subsequently adapted and expanded for two publications: Mathieu, F., (2007) Running on Empty: Compassion Fatigue in Health Professionals. Rehab & Community Care Medicine, Spring. & Mathieu, F., (2012) The Compassion Fatigue Workbook. New York: Routledge.)

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Defining Compassion Fatigue, Vicarious Trauma and Burnout

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Compassion fatigue has been described as the "cost of caring" for others in emotional pain (Figley, 1982). The helping field has gradually begun to recognize that workers are profoundly affected by the work they do, whether it is by direct exposure to traumatic events or secondary exposure.

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The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement

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The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement

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Shawn Ginwright Ph.D.
From time to time, researchers, policy makers, philanthropy and practitioners all join together in a coordinated response to address the most pressing issues facing America's youth. I've been involved with this process for long enough to have participated in each of these roles. I recall during the early 1990s experts promoted the term "resiliency," which is the capacity to adapt, navigate and bounce back from adverse and challenging life experiences. Researchers and practitioners alike clamored over strategies to build more resilient youth.

In the early 2000's the term "youth development" gained currency and had a significant influence on youth development programs, and probably more importantly how we viewed young people. Youth development offered an important shift in focus from viewing youth as problems to be solved to community assets who simply required supports and opportunities for healthy development. Since that time, a range of approaches have influenced how we think about young people, and consequently our programmatic strategies. I have, for the most part, attempted to nudge and cajole each of these approaches to consider the unique ways in which race, identity and social marginalization influence the development of youth of color.

More recently, practitioners and policy stakeholders have recognized the impact of trauma on learning, and healthy development. In efforts to support young people who experience trauma, the term "trauma-informed care" has gained traction among schools, juvenile justice departments, mental health programs and youth development agencies around the country. Trauma informed care broadly refers to a set of principles that guide and direct how we view the impact of severe harm on young people's mental, physical, and emotional health. Trauma informed care encourages support and treatment to the whole person, rather than focusing on only treating individual symptoms or specific behaviors.

Trauma-informed care has become an important approach in schools and agencies that serve young people who have been exposed to trauma, and here's why. Some school leaders believe that the best way to address disruptive classroom behavior is through harsh discipline. These schools believe that discipline alone is sufficient to modify undesired classroom behavior, but research shows that school suspensions may further harm students who have been exposed to a traumatic event or experience (Bottiani et al., 2017). Rather than using discipline, a school that uses a trauma informed approach might offer therapy, or counseling to support the restoration of that student's well-being. The assumption is that the disruptive behavior is the symptom of a deeper harm, rather than willful defiance, or disrespect.

While trauma-informed care offers an important lens to support young people who have been harmed and emotionally injured, it also has its limitations. I first became aware of the limitations of the term "trauma-informed care" during a healing circle I was leading with a group of African American young men. All of them had experienced some form of trauma ranging from sexual abuse, violence, homelessness, abandonment or all of the above. During one of our sessions, I explained the impact of stress and trauma on brain development and how trauma can influence emotional health. As I was explaining, one of the young men in the group named Marcus abruptly stopped me and said, "I am more than what happened to me, I'm not just my trauma". I was puzzled at first, but it didn't take me long to really contemplate what he was saying.

The term "trauma informed care" didn't encompass the totality of his experience and focused only on his harm, injury and trauma. For Marcus, the term "trauma informed care" was akin to saying, you are the worst thing that ever happened to you. For me, I realized the term slipped into the murky water of deficit based, rather than asset driven strategies to support young people who have been harmed. Without careful consideration of the terms we use, we can create blind spots in our efforts to support young people.

While the term trauma informed care is important, it is incomplete. First, trauma informed care correctly highlights the specific needs for individual young people who have exposure to trauma. However, current formulations of trauma informed care presumes that the trauma is an individual experience, rather than a collective one. To illustrate this point, researchers have shown that children in high violence neighborhoods all display behavioral and psychological elements of trauma (Sinha & Rosenberg 2013). Similarly, populations that disproportionately suffer from disasters like Hurricane Katrina share a common experience that if viewed individually simply fails to capture how collective harm requires a different approach than an individual one.

Second, trauma-informed care requires that we treat trauma in people but provides very little insight into how we might address the root causes of trauma in neighborhoods, families, and schools. If trauma is collectively experienced, this means that we also have to consider the environmental context that caused the harm in the first place. By only treating the individual we only address part of the equation leaving the toxic systems, policies and practices neatly intact.

Third, the term trauma-informed care runs the risk of focusing on the treatment of pathology (trauma), rather than fostering the possibility (well-being). This is not an indictment on well-meaning therapists and social workers many of whom may have been trained in theories and techniques designed to simply reduce negative emotions and behavior (Seligman 2011). However, just like the absence of disease doesn't constitute health, nor the absence of violence constitute peace, the reduction pathology (anxiety, anger, fear, sadness, distrust, triggers) doesn't constitute well-being (hope, happiness, imagination, aspirations, trust). Everyone wants to be happy, not just have less misery. The emerging field of positive psychology offers insight into the limits of only "treating" symptoms and focuses on enhancing the conditions that contribute to well-being. Without more careful consideration, trauma informed approaches sometimes slip into rigid medical models of care that are steeped in treating the symptoms, rather than strengthening the roots of well-being.

What is needed is an approach that allows practitioners to approach trauma with a fresh lens that promotes a holistic view of healing from traumatic experiences and environments. One approach is called healing-centered, as opposed to trauma-informed. A healing centered approach is holistic involving culture, spirituality, civic action and collective healing. A healing-centered approach views trauma not simply as an individual isolated experience, but rather highlights the ways in which trauma and healing are experienced collectively. The term healing-centered engagement expands how we think about responses to trauma and offers more holistic approach to fostering well-being.

A shift from trauma informed care to healing centered engagement (HCE) is more than a semantic play with words, but rather a tectonic shift in how we view trauma, its causes and its intervention. HCE is strength based, advances a collective view of healing, and re-centers culture as a central feature in well-being. Researchers have pointed out the ways in which patients have redefined the terms used to describe their illnesses in ways that affirmed, humanized and dignified their condition. For example, in the early 1990s AIDS activists challenged the term "gay-related immune deficiency" because the term stigmatized gay men and failed to adequately capture the medical accuracy of the condition. In a similar way, the young men I worked with offered me a way to reframe trauma with language that humanized them, and holistically captured their life experiences.

A healing centered approach to addressing trauma requires a different question that moves beyond "what happened to you" to "what's right with you" and views those exposed to trauma as agents in the creation of their own well-being rather than victims of traumatic events. Healing centered engagement is akin to the South African term "Ubuntu" meaning that humanness is found through our interdependence, collective engagement and service to others. Additionally, healing centered engagement offers an asset driven approach aimed at the holistic restoration of young peoples' well-being. The healing centered approach comes from the idea that people are not harmed in a vacuum, and well-being comes from participating in transforming the root causes of the harm within institutions. Healing centered engagement also advances the move to "strengths-based' care and away from the deficit based mental health models that drives therapeutic interventions. There are four key elements of healing centered engagement that may at times overlap with current trauma informed practices but offers several key distinctions.

Communities, and individuals who experience trauma are agents in restoring their own well-being. This subtle shift suggests that healing from trauma is found in an awareness and actions that address the conditions that created the trauma in the first place. Researchers have found that well-being is a function of the control and power young people have in their schools and communities (Morsillo & Prilleltensky 2007; Prilleltensky & Prilleltensky 2006). These studies focus on concepts such as such as liberation, emancipation, oppression, and social justice among activist groups and suggests that building an awareness of justice and inequality, combined with social action such as protests, community organizing, and/or school walk-outs contribute to overall wellbeing, hopefulness, and optimism (Potts 2003; Prilleltensky 2003, 2008). This means that healing centered engagement views trauma and well-being as function of the environments where people live, work and play. When people advocate for policies and opportunities that address causes of trauma, such as lack of access to mental health, these activities contribute to a sense of purpose, power and control over life situations. All of these are ingredients necessary to restore well-being and healing.

The pathway to restoring well-being among young people who experience trauma can be found in culture and identity. Healing centered engagement uses culture as a way to ground young people in a solid sense of meaning, self-perception, and purpose. This process highlights the intersectional nature of identity and highlights the ways in which culture offers a shared experience, community and sense of belonging. Healing is experienced collectively, and is shaped by shared identity such as race, gender, or sexual orientation. Healing centered engagement is the result of building a healthy identity, and a sense of belonging. For youth of color, these forms of healing can be rooted in culture and serves as an anchor to connect young people to a shared racial and ethnic identity that is both historical grounded and contemporarily relevant. Healing centered engagement embraces a holistic view of well-being that includes spiritual domains of health. This goes beyond viewing healing only from the lens of mental health, and incorporates culturally grounded rituals, and activities to restore well-being (Martinez 2001). Some examples of healing centered engagement can be found in healing circles rooted in indigenous culture where young people share their stories about healing and learn about their connection to their ancestors and traditions, or drumming circles rooted in African cultural principles.

Healing centered engagement offers an important departure from solely viewing young people through the lens of harm and focuses on asset driven strategies that highlight possibilities for well-being. An asset driven strategy acknowledges that young people are much more than the worst thing that happened to them, and builds upon their experiences, knowledge, skills and curiosity as positive traits to be enhanced. While it is important to acknowledge trauma and its influence on young people's mental health, healing centered strategies move one step beyond by focusing on what we want to achieve, rather than merely treating emotional and behavioral symptoms of trauma. This is a salutogenic approach focusing on how to foster and sustain well-being. Based in positive psychology, healing centered engagement is based in collective strengths and possibility which offers a departure from conventional psychopathology which focuses on clinical treatment of illness.

Adult providers need healing too! Healing centered engagement requires that we consider how to support adult providers in sustaining their own healing and well-being. We cannot presume that adulthood is a final, "trauma-free" destination. Much of our training and practice is directed at young peoples' healing but rarely focuses on the healing that is required of adults to be an effective youth practitioner. Healing is an ongoing process that we all need, not just young people who experience trauma. The well-being of the adult youth worker is also a critical factor in supporting young peoples' well-being. While we are learning more about the causes and effects of secondary on adults, we know very little about the systems of support required to restore and sustain well-being for adults. Healing centered engagement has an explicit focus on restoring, and sustaining the adults who attempt to heal youth- a healing the healers approach. Policy stakeholders should consider how to build a systems that support adult youth worker's well-being. I have supported organizations in creating structures like sabbaticals for employees or creating incentives like continuing education units for deeper learning about well-being and healing.

Marcus's comments during our healing circle "I am more than what happened to me" led me to question our approach to trauma. What blind spots do we have in our approaches to supporting young people who experience trauma? How might the concepts which are enshrined in our language limit rather than create opportunities for healing? What approaches might offer "disruptive" techniques that saturate young people with opportunities for healing and well-being?

The fields of positive psychology and community psychology offers important insight into how policy makers, and youth development stakeholders can consider a range of healing centered options for young people. Shifting from trauma informed care or treatment to healing centered engagement requires youth development stakeholders to expand from a treatment-based model, which views trauma and harm as an isolated experience, to an engagement model which supports collective well-being. Here are a few notes to consider in building healing centered engagement.

Healing centered engagement begins by building empathy with young people who experience trauma. This process takes time, is an ongoing process and sometimes may feel like taking two steps forward, and three steps back. However, building empathy is critical to healing centered engagement. To create this empathy, I encourage adult staff to share their story first, and take an emotional risk by being more vulnerable, honest, and open to young people. This process creates an empathy exchange between the adult, and the young people which is the foundation for healing centered engagement (Payne 2013). This process also strengthens emotional literacy which allows youth to discuss the complexity of their feelings. Fostering empathy allows for young people to feel safe sharing their experiences and emotions. The process ultimately restores their sense of well-being because they have the power name and respond to their emotional states.

An important ingredient in healing centered engagement is the ability to acknowledge the harm and injury, but not be defined by it. Perhaps one of the greatest tools available to us is the ability to see beyond the condition, event or situation that caused the trauma in the first place. Research shows that the ability to dream and imagine is an important factor in fostering hopefulness, and optimism which both of which contributes to overall well-being (Snyder et al. 2003). Daily survival and ongoing crisis management in young people's lives can make it difficult for them to see beyond the present.

The greatest casualty of trauma is not only depression and emotional scares, but also the loss of the ability to dream and imagine another way of living. Howard Thurman pointed this out in his eloquent persistence that dreams matter. He commented, "As long as a man [woman] has a dream, he [she] cannot lose the significance of living" (p. 304). By creating activities and opportunities for young people to play, reimagine, design and envision their lives this process strengthens their future goal orientation (Snyder et al. 2003). These are practices of possibility that encourage young people to envision what they want to become, and who they want to be.

Healing and well-being are fundamentally political not clinical. This means that we have to consider the ways in which the policies and practice and political decisions harm young people. Healing in this context also means that young people develop an analysis of these practices and policies that facilitated the trauma in the first place. Without an analysis of these issues, young people often internalize, and blame themselves for lack of confidence. Critical reflection provides a lens by which to filter, examine, and consider analytical and spiritual responses to trauma. By spiritual, I mean the ability to draw upon the power of culture, rituals and faith in order to consistently act from a place of humility, and love. These are not cognitive processes, but rather ethical, moral and emotional aspects of healing centered engagement.

The other key component, is taking loving action, by collectively responding to political decisions and practices that can exacerbate trauma. By taking action, (e.g. school walkouts, organizing peace march, or promoting access to healthy foods) it builds a sense of power and control over their lives. Research has demonstrated that building this sense of power and control among traumatized groups is perhaps one of the most significant features in restoring holistic well-being.

I ran into Marcus at a street fair in Oakland not long ago. He was excited to see me and wanted to share with me that he was in a new relationship so he introduced me to his girlfriend. "This is my friend Michelle"! He introduced her with a sense of pride, and accomplishment. He also shared with me that he had enrolled in a program that was training him to become a medic. As we chatted for a while in the warm sun, dodging children, and fast walking parents, he leaned toward me and whispered, "yeah Dr. G, I'm not entirely healed, but I'm hopeful". I smiled, gave him a "brotha hug" and we departed ways.

I suppose, that if we had more time to chat he would have explained that healing is a process that we navigate for a lifetime. He might have shared with me that the future of his healing journey had just begun. Seeing him again, holding hands, sipping a soda with his new girlfriend was a powerful reminder, that he was so much more than the trauma he had experienced. As practitioners, researchers and policy stakeholders we need to listen and learn from young people who have insights that can advance how we think about trauma and healing. Shifting to healing centered engagement offered new questions, and strategies about how to support young people who experience trauma. Healing centered engagement is just a step toward a more holistic, and humanistic framework to support young people who have been harmed. Such an approach encourages us to think and act more boldly about how to restore young people and create places where they can truly flourish.

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The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement

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From time to time, researchers, policy makers, philanthropy and practitioners all join together in a coordinated response to address the most pressing issues facing America's youth. I've been...

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Anxiety is one of the most common childhood mental disorders. About 7% of children suffer from it at any given time, with nearly 1 in 3 adolescents experiencing it sometime during their teen years.

For an anxious child, seemingly normal activities can be hard. Worried kids have trouble adjusting to school, making friends, and learning. They can feel inhibited, avoiding challenges by running away or retreating into themselves. While parents may feel desperate to help, their approaches can backfire. For example, trying to talk kids out of their feelings or keep them away from anxiety-producing situations may inadvertently make the anxiety worse.

To help anxious kids, clinicians have developed science-based treatments, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, to alleviate symptoms. But the treatments can be cumbersome and expensive, and they don't always work. Anxiety in kids as young as preschool-aged can be a sign of future trouble-a precursor to later disorders, like social anxiety, phobias, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. But less is known about how to stop anxiety in its tracks at very young ages, when kids may not even have the cognitive capacity to benefit from the treatment.

What if very young kids could be inoculated against anxiety somehow, sparing them from a future of worry and inhibition? A new line of research conducted by Kate Fitzgerald, professor of Psychiatry and Obstetrics at the University of Michigan, suggests this may be possible.

Fitzgerald has been studying very young children with anxiety symptoms and making important discoveries about the brain markers for childhood anxiety. Building on this work, she and her team have created a training program for young children aimed at increasing their cognitive capacities, helping to lessen their anxiety-both immediately and, possibly, in the future.

"We hope our work will show that childhood anxiety is not inevitable, but might be prevented with the right intervention," says Fitzgerald. "So far, it's looking promising."

The neuroscience of anxiety

When we face challenging or scary situations in life, our brains naturally go into action. The amygdala sends out neurochemicals (like adrenaline) to make our hearts pound and prepare our bodies to "fight, flight, or freeze" in case of danger. At the same time, the frontal lobes engage our cognition to assess the situation, draw from past experience, and problem-solve to come up with an appropriate response. In healthy people, these dual systems work in tandem-one putting on the gas and the other applying the brakes-depending on what's needed.

In the context of this process, a little bit of anxiety can have a positive side-like when it motivates us to practice hard to master a piano piece or study for a test. But, in anxious people, that gas pedal goes to the metal every time, making them want to run or flee challenge. It can be debilitating and exhausting, too, as they often have to exert a lot of effortful control just to get through. Facing stressful situations while tamping down that fear response is key to overcoming anxiety-in adults as well as older kids.

But in young kids, Fitzgerald and her team are discovering, the brain may respond a little differently. For example, four to seven year olds have a higher-than-normal startle response in "neutral situations" -where nothing threatening is happening-but have a normal startle response in scary situations that any child might react to. That suggests that they have more to overcome when facing everyday challenges, like going to school or meeting new people.

Her team has also discovered that a part of the brain that responds when people make a mistake-the error-related negativity (or ERN)-is weaker in anxious five to seven year olds than in worried older children and adults. That's likely because young kids don't have well-developed cognitive capacities that could help them understand that errors happen, aren't scary, and can often be fixed. Without more cognitive control, their startle response wins out, making them anxious, says Fitzgerald.

A young child with low cognitive control is also more likely to develop anxiety later on in childhood, while one with a higher capacity will be more resilient to stress. Raising cognitive control (which can be measured by the ERN) could both treat anxiety in young children and potentially prevent it from becoming worse over time.

"If we could just help kids gain some cognitive control when they are anxious, it could really make a difference in how they deal with stressful situations," says Fitzgerald. "We just need to empower them."

Preventing harmful anxiety

To test this idea, Fitzgerald and her colleagues conducted a pilot study (as yet unpublished) with anxious four to seven year olds. The children came to a "camp" the researchers designed called Kid Power for four half-day sessions over two weeks. At the camp, children played fun, ordinary childhood games, like "Simon Says" and "Red Light/Green Light," that help strengthen cognitive control.

Counselors at the camp gradually increased the challenge within the games to help kids master the skills needed to do well-like being flexible, using their working memory, and inhibiting undesirable responses (like moving when they're supposed to freeze). They also enjoyed the company of other kids, with whom they brainstormed ways to improve their performance. And parents participated at the end of each session, learning the games from their kids so they could practice playing together at home.

To see the effects this training had on the kids' brains and behavior, Fitzgerald and her colleagues measured their startle response and ERN before they attended the Kid Power camp and four to six weeks after. To do that, they had kids play computer games that required cognitive control, while wearing special monitors that could capture their startle and ERN responses when they made mistakes. Additionally, the researchers gathered information from the parents and the kids themselves about anxiety symptoms before and after the camp.

After analyzing the data, the team found that the children's ERNs increased (signifying greater cognitive control), while their startle responses went down-a pattern associated with less anxiety at that age.

"The brain signal that related to detecting an error actually increased, but in a good way," said Fitzgerald. "Kids were getting better at doing hard things, stopping instinctual responding, including the fear response."

This mirrored the children's (and their parents') own assessments. They reported fewer anxiety symptoms, including fear and avoiding challenging situations, after the training-something Fitzgerald found particularly rewarding.

"It's exciting to link the brain to behavior, but what's even more rewarding is the individual children we've seen go through the program who are experiencing less anxiety symptoms," she says.

For example, one parent reported that her daughter, who'd had symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder prior to attending the Kid Power camp, had made noticeable improvement, even while the camp was still going on.

"She didn't want to leave while she was here, and she was in a better mood during the week in between-a little less rigid and able to experience more joy," the parent wrote in an evaluation.

Fitzgerald recalls another five-year-old camper who'd been very afraid of making mistakes in his kindergarten class, which led to bouts of crying and other disruptive behaviors, requiring daily calls home. After attending the camp, though, and learning how to calm anxiety, everything changed.

"After a week of playing those games that were part of the intervention, those calls from home stopped," says Fitzgerald. "His mom was impressed, because earlier counseling with a trained therapist had not led to improvement. Only after Kid Power did he successfully adjust to kindergarten and begin to enjoy it."

With encouraging results from this pilot study, Fitzgerald applied for and received a $3 million National Institutes of Health grant to expand the Kid Power program and conduct further research. She hopes future studies will help her nail down the key ingredient in the program that led to reduced anxiety and, potentially, find a way to tailor treatment to individual children-some of whom may need a stronger dose of the training or slightly different activities to improve, she says.

If her initial findings hold, her work could have broad implications, providing a template that others can follow for treating and preventing childhood anxiety disorders in the future.

"Interventions are within reach," she says. "As we work to understand the science behind anxiety in young minds, we can use that science to develop treatments that are more effective."
This article was originally published by AIM Youth Mental Health, a non-profit dedicated to finding and funding promising youth mental health research that can identify solutions to make a difference in young people's lives today, which contributed to funding Kate Fitzgerald's research. Read the original article.
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Can We Help Young Brains Fight Off Anxiety?

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Anxiety is one of the most common childhood mental disorders. About 7% of children suffer from it at any given time, with nearly 1 in 3 adolescents experiencing it sometime during their teen years. For an anxious child, seemingly normal activities can be hard. Worried kids have trouble adjusting to school, making friends, and learning.

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Several years ago, during her first year teaching at a new school, Rachel cried a lot. Under the thumb of a relentlessly upbeat administrator, Rachel, an educator and librarian in New Jersey, was pressed to be happy all the time. Along with masking her emotions, she learned to swallow her opinions too.

Colleagues nodded sympathetically and suggested she go along to get along. The advice kept her employed and got her through a tough year. But it did nothing to quiet the upset she felt.

"I don't say to my coworkers, 'I struggle with anxiety and depression,'" says Rachel, who asked to be referred to only by her first name to candidly discuss her mental health experiences. "I don't want to get up a lot of mornings, and I can't tell you how often I wake up panicked and think, 'Should I call out today? I don't feel mentally or emotionally prepared to go into work right now.'"

Later, Rachel discovered the sort of forced cheerfulness she was experiencing from her administrator had a name: toxic positivity. In a sense, it's a kind of philosophy of denial, where nothing is ever really going wrong, and where the power of positive thinking can be used to invalidate any criticism or concern, no matter how legitimate. And if you listen to social media, where teachers often express themselves freely and anonymously, Rachel is far from alone.

Toxic positivity becomes a mask to avoid talking about those heavy-hitting issues that might make people feel uncomfortable. If we're only happy enough in school, it'll make up for all of those things. And that's not really the case at all.

Selena Carrión

Everything Is Not OK

There is a certain TED Talk that teachers on social media sometimes reach for to describe the toxic positivity mentality. It's the late Rita Pierson's iconic " Every kid needs a champion " talk from 2013, which is often played or referenced wherever teachers gather. In it, Pierson repeatedly stresses the essential value of forming strong bonds with students, and at one point says that kids don't learn from people they don't like.

Untrue, say teachers on Reddit and Twitter, and unrealistic. Not every student and teacher will get along, and not every middle or high school teacher will be able to befriend each of their students. Still, under these imperfect conditions learning takes place. But in a talk like Pierson's, this reality is briefly acknowledged and brushed aside. There is only room for positivity and the guilt that teachers infer from it. They are never enough unless they are perfect.

On the vast ocean of the internet there are many definitions of toxic positivity floating around, all of which amount to the same thing, really: too much cheerfulness can be bad because it leaves no room for appropriate negative emotions like sadness, anxiousness or frustration. Like an insincere platitude, it is used to end a conversation, even when the other party would rather talk it out. The Harvard psychologist Susan David once referred to it as "a tyranny of positivity."

Earlier this year, in a podcast conversation with empathy researcher Brené Brown, David explained that when those around us dismiss negative thoughts and emotions to focus solely on positive ones, they're "not living in the world as it is," but rather "in the world as [they] wish it would be." When others ask us to concentrate only on positivity, she added, "they're really saying, 'My comfort is more important than your reality.'"

Toxic positivity is obviously frustrating, but it's also harmful-even to those who genuinely believe in it. Research has shown, for instance, that bottling up emotions can lead to stress, depression and anxiety, impacting both mental and long-term physical health. In the 1990s, psychologist James Pennebaker's studies linked repressed emotions with suppressed body immunity, and found that releasing those emotions can boost our body's immune system. A separate study has actually linked such repression to increased aggression.

Yet schools, which exist to educate and take care of kids, are especially fertile ground for this type of everything-is-fine thinking. Frequently, excessive upbeatness isn't used to lift spirits the way a motivational poster might, but rather as a tool of control and conformity.

Selena Carrión, a high school English teacher in Bronx, N.Y., says she often hears somewhat insidious phrases like "everything is for the children" and "it's really not about us" used to glaze over systemic education issues like equity gaps, racism, poverty and bureaucracy.

"It's like toxic positivity becomes a mask to avoid talking about those heavy-hitting issues that might make people feel uncomfortable," she says. "If we're only happy enough in school, if we're kind enough to our colleagues and principals, if we're just good teachers, it'll make up for all of those things. And that's not really the case at all."

It's common for administrators to push this line of thinking on teachers, adds Carrión. Teachers, after all, may feel an obligation to put up with it. The worrying thing is that, as far as keeping problematic issues quiet, it works. Teachers adopt this mindset and weaponize it against colleagues, particularly ones with unpopular opinions, reframing things on their own terms.

"It's important to be positive and supportive and hopeful and joyful," she clarifies. "But that's not the same as pretending everything is OK. In fact, that type of silence is being complicit in the larger issues."

But still, teachers learn to feel guilty for raising any issues at all.

Sterile and impersonal schoolwide emails encouraging positivity and self-care are an effective vehicle for this type of messaging. So are restrictive school policies and staff training sessions, where speakers can preach to captive audiences about the power of positive thinking. The result is that toxic positivity gets a kind of imprint of legitimacy. It becomes systemic, which demoralizes teachers and makes the problem even harder to fight.

In some schools, it's even baked into the curriculum, meaning students are exposed to it too, particularly when it comes under the guise of social-emotional learning, a term that refers to a set of related skills and behaviors that often include things like goal setting, emotional regulation and building healthy relationships. In the past, Carrión has seen chin-up style toxic positivity packaged for students as part of character development courses. "I don't think students are realizing that's what's happening," she says. "But essentially that's what's being messaged to them."

Finding a Healthy Balance

Fixing toxic positivity isn't easy, but it's not impossible either. When administrators and other educators push it on their co-workers, it can be an isolating experience due to the power imbalance. Rachel, the New Jersey teacher-librarian, admitted she would have a hard time "approaching administration to say, 'What you said made me feel really uncomfortable.'"

But Carrión has a different solution. When teachers talk with other teachers one-on-one about toxic positivity, it can remove the stigma and guilt associated with criticism. It can even galvanize staff to address it collectively, perhaps in the context of staff training or grating school policies.

"That's been a huge game changer, because then everyone realizes that this isn't just a 'me' problem. This is a problem with leadership," Carrión explains.

There is also the idea that the difficulties caused by the pandemic may lead to an opportunity for change. Make no mistake, toxic positivity was rife over the past two years. But with so many attendant horrors and catastrophes competing for attention, something interesting happened: more educators began speaking out about problems that couldn't be simply hand-waved away. Self-care and mental health became mainstream conversations in virtually every workplace, and schools were left to deal with sinking morale among educators. The upshot is that it may have led to greater self awareness-at least among the well-intentioned.

As teachers became more comfortable (or accustomed to) sharing difficult or negative feelings associated with the stress of the pandemic, some who were not as burnt out or stressed as their colleagues began to self-censor their positivity, according to Laura Sokal, a researcher at the University of Winnipeg who has conducted numerous teacher surveys in Canada over the past 18 months.

"There were teachers who were toxically positive and didn't have that self-awareness," Sokol says of the educators her team encountered. "And then there were other teachers who were silent because they realized that saying that they were OK was going to be detrimental to the people they were talking to. They recognized, 'Yes, we're in different boats, and this isn't helpful for me to say this to you. But also I can't say I feel the same way because it's not truthful.'"

That can be problematic for a number of reasons, not least because repressing any emotion, even out of compassion, is still harmful. But, Sokal believes it also sets up a false dichotomy between pathology-in the sense that we are living through an unprecedented time of challenges-and toxic positivity when there is an alternative educators can be steered toward: healthy positivity. In other words, optimism.

Positivity is not the same as toxic positivity, of course. It is possible to acknowledge that problems exist and deserve time and attention while remaining personally upbeat about things. It can be healthy too. Some studies Sokal has cited suggest that in traumatic situations, a positive outlook can make a difference in whether a person develops post-traumatic stress disorder. Yet she also cites the Canadian psychiatrist Stan Kutcher who notes that developing resilience is only possible through confronting and experiencing negative emotions. Dealing with those emotions head-on is essential for working through challenges and adapting for the future.

What's left is a healthy balance. In her 2017 TED Talk, Susan David, the Harvard psychologist, took another stand against toxic positivity, but also against toxic negativity and toxic rigidity. "If there's one common feature of brooding, bottling or false positivity, it's this: they are all rigid responses," she said.

Instead, she's coined a concept she calls "emotional agility," where we label and process complex emotions methodically. "When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings, and what scientists call the 'readiness potential' in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps."

Finding that perfect mix of realism and optimism is difficult work, especially for educators conditioned to always appear as willing martyrs or good role models for their students. But confronting problems and negative emotions directly is the often the only way to solve real problems. It might not be as infectious or as easy to sound bite as toxic positivity, but it has at least one distinct advantage: It works.

"When really strong educators are able to find that balance, that's when the change actually starts to happen," Carrión says. "You're actually addressing the root, and you're doing it in a way that makes people feel like things can change. There is a light at the end of the tunnel."

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How Toxic Positivity Demoralizes Teachers and Hurts Schools - EdSurge News

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Several years ago, during her first year teaching at a new school, Rachel cried a lot. Under the thumb of a relentlessly upbeat administrator, Rachel, an educator and librarian in New Jersey, was pressed to be happy all the time. Along with masking her emotions, she learned to swallow her opinions too.

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10 Minute Chakra Meditation (Daily Recharge) ❤️ 528HZ

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A quest for a life of joy, meaning, and purpose
This easy-to-use app is designed to aid you in your everyday quest to acquire and cultivate virtues-qualities such as compassion, gratitude, strength, hope, resilience, and justice. Like a book of daily readings, it guides you to develop upright character and, ultimately, to become your best self.
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A quest for a life of joy, meaning, and purpose This easy-to-use app is designed to aid you in your everyday quest to acquire and cultivate virtues-qualities such as compassion, gratitude, strength, hope, resilience, and justice. Like a book of daily readings, it guides you to develop upright character and, ultimately, to become your best self.

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ANDREA’S A TO Z STRATEGIES: HEALTH & WELL-BEING

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Now, more than ever, we need to help people-and particularly young adults -who are struggling with mental health challenges. This will require training more mental health care practitioners and reimagining ways that schools and workplaces can buffer stress rather than promote it. Just as importantly, we need to change the way people talk about mental illness and work to reduce stigma. And one way to do this is to teach people how to talk about their journey through mental illness.

A new qualitative study, published in the Community Mental Health Journal, has found that young adults who share their stories of living with mental illness can increase their well-being and feel less stigmatized.

The Australian nonprofit mental health organization batyr runs preventative education programs in high schools, universities, and workplaces to teach young people and their families about the importance of reaching out for support for mental health challenges. Besides offering basic education about mental health, another essential component of these workshops is 10- to 15-minute stories told by one or two young people about their experiences with mental illness (such depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and disordered eating), the lessons they have learned, and the skills that have helped them cope.

Before they deliver their stories, speakers are trained in groups of seven to 10 at a two-day "Being Herd" workshop. Workshop facilitators teach participants how to share their stories confidently and constructively to help others struggling with mental health. The workshop is based on research by Patrick Corrigan, professor of psychology at the Illinois Institute of Technology, that has found that disclosing our mental health challenges can be empowering, improve our well-being, and reduce internalized feelings of stigma.

Why sharing your story helps

To explore the benefits of sharing your story, researchers Genesis Lindstrom and Ernesta Sofija of Griffith University in Southport, Australia, and Tom Riley of batyr conducted in-depth interviews with 18 speakers who had participated in the program. The participants ranged in age from 18 to 33 and included male, female, and non-binary participants, as well as those who identified as Australian, Indian Australian, Australian Chinese, Sri Lankan, Chinese, Italian Dutch, and Italian Australian.

The researchers identified five key themes in these interviews related to how sharing their stories helped batyr speakers.

1. Getting better at getting better. Participants reported that their role as speakers helped them "get better at getting better" in part because it forced them to reflect on their journey and how they had overcome challenges. They were able to identify strategies that helped them and shift how they viewed mental health. One common thread was seeing recovery from mental illness and the nurturing of mental well-being as constant processes, like tending a garden.

One speaker compared his batyr experience to physical exercise:

Authentically relating the story to 300 people can be quite an intimidating experience and that sense of almost flexing your vulnerability muscles, like doing mental health pushups in front of a crowd. It almost leaves you feeling not drained, not quite shaken, but a little raw but in a good way. It's kind of like you've just climbed a mountain or jumped out of an airplane.

2. Growing toward self-acceptance. Participants also spoke about how sharing their stories changed how they thought of themselves and helped them gain self-acceptance.

For some speakers, sharing their story helped them separate their identity from their mental illness. "As soon as you say it out loud to someone other than yourself, all of a sudden there is a distance between you and the story. Before, I was the only one holding on to that and it was part of my identity," said a speaker.

The experience also improved people's sense of well-being and confidence. Sharing their stories made speakers feel empowered and gave them a sense of purpose since they were using their experience to help others.

One speaker noted that her increased self-acceptance made her kinder, too. "I feel like we're a lot harder on ourselves [than] we are with others. So, if I'm kinder to myself, I feel like that makes me kinder to others as well," she said. "I think it's just a natural progression to turn that outward."

3. Breaking the wall by talking about mental health. Being a batyr speaker also helped participants actively fight against the public stigma associated with mental illness.

"Any stigma is just a lack of understanding, a lack of understanding comes from a lack of knowledge, right?" said a participant. "The more that we go, and we have these conversations with people, we introduce them to new ideas, we challenge their existing ideas."

The speakers noted that the Being Herd workshop gave them tools to "face the elephant in the room" and to talk about mental illness in a safe way. The workshops included resources for seeking help and advice on how to discuss specific issues such as suicide and trauma. Participants also learned how to share specifics of their stories without generalizing their experience as the only way that people experience mental illness.

The workshop tools empowered participants to voice their opinions and address negative behaviors and language around mental illness in their own social circles. Speakers also said they became more inclusive and empathic with their friends and family members who were struggling and noticed a change in how their loved ones talked about mental illness.

4. Increasing connectedness. Participants reported feeling connected to other participants in their Being Herd workshop, as well as a sense of community with other speakers in the batyr program. Some participants said they felt a sense of common purpose and that connecting with other participants helped them feel less stigma. They also derived meaning from talking to students, knowing that some of them were likely experiencing similar challenges.

"I just love being able to connect with other people on that level and knowing that at least someone in the room will hear what I'm saying, and it will resonate with them," said a speaker. "I think that too often, we forget that the human experience is a shared one, even if it's something that is unique and individual to us."

5. Reaching out for support. Participants noted that since sharing their story publicly, they had become more willing to seek help when they found themselves struggling with their mental health, were more aware of appropriate places to find support, and were more likely to encourage others to seek support.

Several male participants mentioned that traditional expectations related to masculinity had previously prevented them from talking about their experience. "It's interesting because coming out of a mental illness like I did there was a lot of shame about the way you feel, and how that fits with society's view of how boys should feel," said a 25-year-old male speaker.

These participants appreciated talking to male students about the barriers that might prevent them from seeking help and encouraged them to be vulnerable and reach out.

Emory University sociologist and psychologist Corey Keyes posits that mental illness and mental health each operate on a separate, yet related, continuum. The batyr researchers suggest that the program works on both these continua-it decreases mental illness by addressing stigma and encouraging people to seek help, and it increases mental health by creating social connectedness, a sense of purpose, and personal growth.

The value of self-disclosure

While this study looked at the subjective experiences of just 18 people, and follow-up studies are needed to quantify these results, other studies also suggest that disclosing our personal experiences with mental illness may be helpful both personally and societally.

Corrigan and others have studied a different peer-led training program called Honest, Open, Proud (HOP). HOP is designed to support people with mental illness in their decisions when and with whom to disclose their mental illness, and it helps them to practice how to tell their story.

Randomized controlled studies find that HOP training reduces stigma-related stress in adults, college students, and adolescents, although it is not known how long these positive effects last.

HOP is different from the batyr program because it is not designed to train participants to tell their mental illness story to large groups of people. Instead, it helps participants decide if they want to disclose their history and, if so, to whom. For example, a person may choose to tell their story to a close friend but withhold information from an acquaintance who recently made a disparaging comment about someone with mental illness.

This highlights the complexity of self-disclosure. Disclosing a history of mental illness isn't without risks-it can lead to labeling and discrimination-but there are also potential benefits-like getting more social support and help, feeling authentic, and being less stressed about keeping it secret.

Similarly, there are risks and benefits to people who hear the stories of other people's challenges with mental health. If you have mental illness yourself, listening to such narratives may occasionally worsen your symptoms (such as eating disorder behaviors and self-harm), but it can also be a tool for recovery and dismantling stigma.

In a review of HOP, Nicolas Rüsch and Markus Kösters of Ulm University in Germany wrote that in order to "achieve lasting change in a public health sense, HOP should be combined with programs to reduce public stigma." They note, "People with mental illness must not be left alone in dealing with a stigma for which they are not responsible . . . only decreased public stigma will lead to a less prejudiced social environment that facilitates disclosure, positive contact, and social inclusion."

Accurate media portrayals of people with mental illness, public awareness campaigns, celebrity stories, and programs like batyr can all help.

Together, these findings suggest that sharing our experiences around mental
health may be a way to improve our own well-being and gain better self-acceptance, while also combating stigma and teaching others about how they can get help. In this way, our stories have the power to not only help us, but also help others and help our society.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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Five Reasons to Share Your Mental Health Struggles

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Now, more than ever, we need to help people-and particularly young adults -who are struggling with mental health challenges. This will require training more mental health care practitioners and reimagining ways that schools and workplaces can buffer stress rather than promote it.

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Welcome to the Self-Compassion Test!
Please read each statement carefully before answering. To the left of each item, indicate how often you behave in the stated manner, using the following scale:

Self-Compassion Test Score interpretations:

Average overall self-compassion scores tend to be around 3.0 on the 1-5 scale, so you can interpret your overall score accordingly.
As a rough guide:1-2.5 for your overall self-compassion score indicates you are low in self-compassion.
2.5-3.5 indicates you are moderate.
3.5-5.0 means you are high.

Remember that higher scores for the Self-Judgment, Isolation, and Over-Identification subscales indicate less self-compassion, while lower scores on these dimensions are indicative of more self-compassion (these subscales are automatically reverse-coded when your overall self-compassion score is calculated.)
Here are some self-compassion practices you can try now.

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Welcome to the Self-Compassion Test! Please read each statement carefully before answering. To the left of each item, indicate how often you behave in the stated manner, using the following scale: ...

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40 Positive Affirmations for a Sunnier Outlook

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These positive affirmations are inspirational quotes from Oprah, Louise Hay, Maya Angelou, and more. Try them daily to soothe anxiety and inspire success.

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Does Venting Your Feelings Actually Help?

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While letting your negative emotions out may feel good in the moment, science suggests it might make matters worse in the long run.

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Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center

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Why worry about self-care?

Being a teacher is a challenging job. With competing demands such as supporting students' needs, creating new resources and worksheets, and communicating with colleagues and parents, keeping on top of everything can be exhausting.

Unfortunately, this leads to high attrition rates, with many teachers changing professions within their first five years in the role. High workloads and a lack of support are often cited as the key reasons that teachers leave their job.

Self-care doesn't solve these problems. But it can change the impact they have on how you feel. It can be the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling re-energised and renewed.

What is 'self-care'?

Self-care is anything you do that helps to improve your own wellbeing. It can be as simple as telling someone how you feel, doing something that relaxes you, or taking a day off work when you need a break. It's essential in stopping stress from getting the better of you.

Self-care can be broken up into six types: emotional, physical, workplace or professional, psychological, relationship and spiritual:

Emotional self-care: being aware of your feelings and promoting positive emotions in yourself.

Physical self-care: doing things that are healthy and comforting for your body.

Psychological self-care: addressing things that could be contributing to issues such as anxiety or depression.

Relationship self-care: ensuring the relationships in your life are enriching, positive and supportive.

Spiritual self-care: recognising and drawing strength from things in life that are greater than yourself, such as your community or environment.

Workplace and professional self-care: finding a good work/life balance.

Take our series of surveys to find out what kind of self-care strategies might help you:

Note: These surveys are intended to help you think about your own self-care and provide ideas for introducing more self-care into your daily life. These suggestions are general and not intended to be a substitute for professional or clinical advice. While the results of the survey may be useful, you should always seek the advice of a qualified health provider if you have any questions about your health and wellbeing.

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Learn more about your self-care with ReachOut Schools teacher wellbeing quizzes for teachers and the whole-school community.

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Ambiguous Grief: Managing Emotional Losses During the Pandemic

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Dear Compassionate Colleague,

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the challenging behaviors of some of your students? Are the challenges beginning to take a toll on you personally as well as professionally? This is true for many of us, especially those of us whose self-worth is connected to being a "good teacher". Maybe we used to "do a good job", however the way we used to teach no longer works for some of our students and we are beginning to feel like failures. You are not alone. There is a crisis of compassion fatigue, 2 nd hand trauma, happening across the US in helping professions such as education. Learning about trauma, and its impact, is a helpful way to explore new strategies for today's challenges for our students as well as ourselves.

It is essential that educators understand our own trauma and how trauma impacts the way we show up in the world as well as our ability to respond to the traumas of our students which are often exhibited as extreme challenging behaviors. The purpose of this blog post his to help get you started on the journey of discovering how trauma impacts health and learning. Here is a link to a Compassion Satisfaction and Compassion Fatigue Survey that may help you identify your level of fatigue/burnout. https://proqol.org/uploads/ProQOL_5_English_Self-Score_3-2012.pdf

Here is a link to an article about Resiliency which contains a Resiliency Quiz you can use to help build your own resiliency. https://www.resiliency.com/free-articles-resources/the-resiliency-quiz/

"How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime" Ted Talk by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95ovIJ3dsNk is a powerful introduction to the understanding of how " repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain." Dr. Harris talks about how Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) not only effect learning, but also our health over our lifetime.

Take the ACE Quiz for yourself and learn what it does and does not mean. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

"Philadelphia's demographic makeup looks significantly different than the original ACE study, in which the majority of participants were white, college-educated, and middle-income. In Philadelphia, where roughly a quarter of residents live in poverty, researchers found that almost seven in ten adults had experienced one ACE and one in five had experienced four or more. The community-level indicators included witnessing violence, living in foster care, bullying, experiencing racism or discrimination, and feeling unsafe in your neighborhood." http://www.philadelphiaaces.org/ This is a link to the Philadelphia ACE Survey with the expanded questions the https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7fcUpFl415pckhnMVU3VFB1VzA/view

Having personally experienced trauma at a young age, and having an ACE score of 4, I know first-hand some of the effects that trauma had on me. I was one of those students who acted out for attention because I wanted to feel loved. We have often heard, "negative attention is better than no attention." In addition, I had severe eating disorders to stuff my feelings of shame and anger. I am grateful to say that I have been on a healing journey for more than half of my life and have been free from binging, starving and purging for more than 20 years one day at a time.

After more than 30 years as an educator, I am finally coming to understand the reason for my son's executive functioning challenges. They are primarily due to the trauma he experienced as a result of my divorce from his father, his father's alcoholism, homelessness and finally death from the disease of alcoholism.

The Child Trauma Toolkit for Educators offers helpful information and strategies to create more trauma responsive learning environments. Page 17 provides some guidance around addressing our own compassion fatigue and I encourage you to start there. Unless we put our own oxygen mask on first, we will have nothing to give to others. https://wmich.edu/sites/default/files/attachments/u57/2013/child-trauma-toolkit.pdf

To dig more deeply in the effects of trauma and to learn about the solutions, I encourage you to visit Dr. Harris's website https://centerforyouthwellness.org/ and read her new book, "The Deepest Well".
Communities in Schools also has an excellent free toolkit and narrated PowerPoint to get you jump started. https://ciscentraltexas.org/trauma-training-for-educators/
Here is a link to a variety of additional resources about trauma https://sites.google.com/site/rprjactionresearch/trauma-respo

Wishing you peace as your transform the hearts and minds of the students whom you serve.

With warmest love, gratitude and respect,

Dara

Trauma Workshop Handouts
TraumaHandoutsDF9.18
Additional Resources
Drowning in Empathy: The Cost of Vicarious Trauma Ted Talk

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Dear Compassionate Colleagues...What Do You Know About Trauma?

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Dear Compassionate Colleague, Are you feeling overwhelmed by the challenging behaviors of some of your students? Are the challenges beginning to take a toll on you personally as well as professionally? This is true for many of us, especially those of us whose self-worth is connected to being a "good teacher".

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The Wellness Wheel is a holistic tool to help you see which areas in your life are going well and which might need more attention. Identifying these areas can help you strengthen your sense of identity. The Wellness Wheel is divided into eight domains: Social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, environmental, financial, and occupational. Experts believe that in order to have optimal health and well-being, you should tend to all eight domains.

This activity will help you identify:

What areas of your life are going well;

What your primary wellness needs are;

Areas of your life that you can work on with your coach.

Take a look at the wellness wheel:

Emotional Wellness: Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships

Spiritual Wellness: Expanding our sense of purpose and meaning in life

Intellectual Wellness: Recognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expand knowledge and skills

Physical Wellness: Recognizing the need for physical activity, diet, sleep, and nutrition

Environmental Wellness: Good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being

Financial Wellness: Satisfaction with current and future financial situations

Occupational Wellness: Personal satisfaction and enrichment derived from one's work

Social Wellness: Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system

Looking at each area of wellness on the wheel, reflect on the following questions. You may want to jot down your responses on a piece of paper and discuss them with your coach:

1. Assign each area a number from 1 to 10 based on how well this area is going in your life, with 1 being the least successful and 10 being the most successful.

2. What is going well in each area? Why did you assign the number you did?

3. What would you like to improve in this area?

Choose 1 or 2 areas to focus on with your coach (or on your own). You don't have to choose the areas that are least successful. Choose the ones you want to improve the most or the ones that will help strengthen your sense of identity.

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The Wellness Wheel is a holistic tool to help you see which areas in your life are going well and which might need more attention. Identifying these areas can help you strengthen your sense of identity. The Wellness Wheel is divided into eight domains: Social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, environmental, financial, and occupational.

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Understanding Trauma: Learning Brain vs Survival Brain

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Click for your guided videos introducing each chapter Transforming Trauma into Post Traumatic Growth (Emotional Sobriety Workbooks) Covid-19 days can place us under unusual stress which, over time can produce many of the same symptoms as trauma; such as grief, sadness, anxiety, sleep troubles, intrusive or disturbing thoughts and body aches and pains.

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Discover the secrets that have helped millions of people improve their relationships and themselves.

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Coping With Trauma: How To Stay Within Your Window Of Tolerance

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If you cope well with life's ups and downs you're functioning within the 'window of tolerance'. But if you're coping with trauma it can be very difficult to stay within that window.

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A Trusted Space:  Redirecting Grief to Growth

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A Trusted Space:  Redirecting Grief to Growth

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Redirecting Grief to Growth | A Trusted Space | PBS LearningMedia

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As the nation navigates the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, this film and curriculum offers tools to mitigate the effects of grief, trauma, anxiety, and other emotional stressors affecting both students and teachers. The 43-minute film features teachers, parents, students, and renowned experts including Linda Darling-Hammond and Pedro Noguera, among others.

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A brief mindfulness meditation practice to relax your body and focus your mind.

Time required: 20-45 minutes, three to six days per week for four weeks. Research suggests that people who practice the body scan for longer reap more benefits from this practice.

How to Practice Body Scan Meditation

The body scan can be performed while lying down, sitting, or in other postures. The steps below are a guided meditation designed to be done while sitting. You can listen to audio of this three-minute guided meditation, produced by UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.*
Especially for those new to the body scan, we recommend performing this practice with the audio. However, you can also use the script below for guidance for yourself or for leading this practice for others.
Begin by bringing your attention into your body.

You can close your eyes if that's comfortable for you.

You can notice your body seated wherever you're seated, feeling the weight of your body on the chair, on the floor.

Take a few deep breaths.

And as you take a deep breath, bring in more oxygen enlivening the body. And as you exhale, have a sense of relaxing more deeply.

You can notice your feet on the floor, notice the sensations of your feet touching the floor. The weight and pressure, vibration, heat.

You can notice your legs against the chair, pressure, pulsing, heaviness, lightness.

Notice your back against the chair.

Bring your attention into your stomach area. If your stomach is tense or tight, let it soften. Take a breath.

Notice your hands. Are your hands tense or tight. See if you can allow them to soften.

Notice your arms. Feel any sensation in your arms. Let your shoulders be soft.

Notice your neck and throat. Let them be soft. Relax.

Soften your jaw. Let your face and facial muscles be soft.

Then notice your whole body present. Take one more breath.

Be aware of your whole body as best you can. Take a breath. And then when you're ready, you can open your eyes.
* You can also listen to a 45-minute version of the Body Scan that the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness uses in its trainings in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. This article was adapted from Greater Good In Action, a site launched by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, in collaboration with HopeLab. Synthesizing hundreds of scientific studies, Greater Good in Action collects the best research-based methods for a happier, more meaningful life-and puts them at your fingertips in a format that's easy to navigate and digest. The meditation is narrated by Diana Winston, Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA Semel Institute's Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC).

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A 3-Minute Body Scan Meditation to Cultivate Mindfulness - Mindful

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A brief mindfulness meditation practice to relax your body and focus your mind. Time required: 20-45 minutes, three to six days per week for four weeks. Research suggests that people who practice the body scan for longer reap more benefits from this practice. The body scan can be performed while lying down, sitting, or in other postures.

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Understanding your Play Style - An Illustrated Guide to Play Types

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I think understanding the adult play types (developed by Stuart Brown M.D.) could help us carve out space in our busy lives for the surprisingly important act of play.

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Yoga with Adrienne, Awesome 30 Fay Free Yoga Challenges

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Yoga with Adrienne, Awesome 30 Fay Free Yoga Challenges

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yoga "yoga videos" "free yoga videos" "yoga for weight loss" "yoga for beginners" "morning yoga" "home yoga practice" "yoga with adriene" "at home yoga"

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WELCOME to Yoga With Adriene! Our mission is to connect as many people as possible through high-quality free yoga videos. We welcome all levels, all bodies, all genders, all souls! If you're brand-new to yoga, check out my Yoga For Beginners and Foundations of Yoga series.

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Empower students to escape negative thinking traps by guiding them to reframe negative thoughts. Once students identify these cognitive distortions, real change can begin. These thoughts hold them back and keep them from their full potential. In cognitive behavioral therapy, there are dozens of thinking errors that cause the mind to believe things that are just not true. Let's look at five of the most common distortions and how to reframe them.

Stewing

Dwelling on thoughts is a common distortion. When you repeat negative thoughts or a bad experience over and over in your mind, you begin to lose sight of the positive things around you.

Reframe: Recognize when an intrusive thought is taking over. Become intentional about stopping the thought. Replace the thought with happy thoughts. Come up with a list of things that make you happy. Start a journal of blessings and refer to it often.

Magnifying

When you draw conclusions that are not justified, based on limited information, you are overgeneralizing. Like the old saying goes, you are "making a mountain out of a molehill." Overreacting to a minor issue is common. Example: I failed a quiz, so I will always fail.

Reframe: To reframe this negative thought pattern, focus on the big picture in life. Goal setting is one way to do this. Move on and realize that you have the power to change and do better. Be able to make mistakes and forgive yourself.

All or Nothing

This distortion means that you see things in black and white with no gray areas. You believe that everything is exactly right or dead wrong. You think of things as a complete success or a total failure. This type of thinking sets you up for failure because it is impossible to achieve.

Reframe: Give yourself some slack. You are only human. Nobody is perfect. Learn to be okay with navigating the gray areas of life. Remember to be flexible. Try a growth mindset activity to expand your mind.

Fortune Telling

When you assume that you know the outcome before it happens or when you think you know what somebody else is thinking, you are attempting to predict the future and read minds. The problem with this type of thinking is that the assumptions are usually wrong.

Reframe: Start assuming positive outcomes. If you imagine yourself being successful or imagine that others are thinking positively about you, you are more likely to have a good outcome. When you picture a negative outcome, it will often keep you from trying. Since you cannot possibly predict the future, try being positive and brave.

Personalization

When you think that everything that happens around you is related to you somehow, you are taking things too personally. This is the feeling that people around you are behaving the way they are because they are reacting to something that you did. This is unhealthy thinking because these thoughts cause you to blame yourself for things that have nothing to do with you.

Reframe: Realize that just because something happened near you, doesn't mean that it had anything to do with you. You are not the center of the universe. Not everything is related to you. Consider that you may have nothing to do with other people's reactions.

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5 Ways to Reframe Negative Thoughts - Confident Counselors

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Empower students to escape negative thinking traps by guiding them to reframe negative thoughts. Once students identify these cognitive distortions, real change can begin. These thoughts hold them back and keep them from their full potential. In cognitive behavioral therapy, there are dozens of thinking errors that cause the mind to believe things that are just not true.

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4
Mental Health for Educators Pages 78-79

Douglas Fisher and Nancy Frey

We need to be highly resilient now-which means practicing self-care.

2020 is shaping up to be an annus horribilis. As educators, we've witnessed firsthand the triple punch of a global pandemic, racial injustice, and economic devastation. We have seen the suffering of students and their families, our communities, and our colleagues. The emotional, psychological, and economic toll on schools has been profound. Many schools (including the one where we work) opened the school year at a distance. Other schools are experiencing the uncertainty and-at times-distress that has become part and parcel of face-to-face learning during a pandemic.

We are a helping profession. Check in with yourself about why you chose to become a teacher or school leader and invariably it has something to do with a generosity of spirit. We care deeply about young people and our communities. It might be an occupational hazard, but in many cases educators have a tendency to minimize our own needs in the face of the great needs of our students.

Now more than ever, however, practicing self-care is crucial to being able to take care of others. Mental health professionals speak of two related but conflicting phenomena that can affect those in helping professions-compassion satisfaction and compassion fatigue. The first is the rewarding elements of the knowledge that what we do makes a positive difference in the lives of others. But compassion fatigue can occur when the traumas of others overwhelm us. This kind of fatigue leaves us feeling depleted physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Allow us to share some everyday practices educators can use-individually and together-to build resiliency in our lives and regain the compassion satisfaction that speeds our forward movement.

Practice Self-Care, A Key to Resiliency

Resiliency is the counterweight to distress in our lives. And resiliency can always be strengthened. During times of disruption to our daily routines-something we're all experiencing now-it's essential to invest in your resiliency. The Committee for Children, an organization committed to transforming the social-emotional lives of children, has developed modules for educators for building their own resiliency. The project's introductory video, parts of which were filmed at our school, is featured below. It highlights how crises we're facing today have "chipped away at our resilience," as child psychologist Janine Jones puts it. "Emotions fester ... and [the situation] doesn't give you an opportunity to get resolution." (Many other groups also provide resources on educator resilience; this is just one example.)

Self-care is a critical part of the work of strengthening your resiliency. Each "microlearning" in these resiliency modules focuses on an aspect of evidence-based self-care practices. Self-care routines begin with the basics: managing your eating, increasing physical activity, and getting enough sleep. In case you're thinking, "I already do that," collect some data on yourself for a week. For instance, monitor whether you really get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night, the amount the Sleep Foundation recommends for working-age adults.

"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow," wrote Charlotte Brontë. The converse is true: practicing cognitive self-care makes it easier to engage in physical self-care, such as getting enough sleep. Being able to label one's strong emotions allows us to "name it and tame it" and move forward from an emotionally stressful moment. Additional protective activities include having meaningful conversations with people inside and outside your home each day, having morning and end-of-workday routines, socializing with colleagues, and engaging in nonwork activities you enjoy.

Self-compassion-granting ourselves the grace we routinely give others-is another practice worth cultivating. To settle your "ruffled mind," the Committee for Children recommends writing your own personal permission slip to say no to a committee assignment, take a break from your work, or cross something off your to-do list.

Empty the Cup

Francisco Escobedo, superintendent of Chula Vista Elementary School District in California, meets regularly with his senior leadership team to make decisions that impact the learning lives of nearly 30,000 students and the working lives of the district's 3,300 employees. Yet Escobedo begins every one of his cabinet meetings with a reminder that it is difficult to take care of others when your own "cup" is full, noting that you can't put anything more into a cup that's filled to the rim. He invites each cabinet member to "empty the cup" by talking for a few minutes about what they're bringing with them, personally or professionally, into the meeting. The opportunity to unburden oneself provides a supportive transition to centering on the work ahead.

Why not use this technique at the beginning of your professional learning community or grade-level or department meetings? It's not self-indulgent to take time to pose these questions to one another:

What's on your mind?

What's a recent challenge or success?

What are you thankful for?

What are you looking forward to?

In our experience, taking time to check in emotionally with one another for a few minutes actually increases the efficiency of a meeting. We get more accomplished-and prevent some of the "decision fatigue" that can set in as a meeting goes on.

Suggest More Help If Necessary

These practices aren't meant as a substitute for professional counseling and support. If you think anyone in your school community (or you) needs the assistance of a mental health professional, speak with someone who can refer them to the right resources. Encourage colleagues to take advantage of your Employee Assistance Program benefits and consult your district's services for ways in which teachers, students, and families can be supported.

Educators, we can get through this together. Your school and colleagues need you. Your students need you. And your family needs you. And you deserve the investment in yourself and your own resilience.

Endnotes

Essary, J. N., Barza, L., & Thurston, R. J. (2020). Secondary traumatic stress among educators. Kappa Delta Pi Record, 56(3), 116-121.

Sleep Foundation. (2020). How much sleep do we really need? https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need

Mendes, E. (2003). Empty the cup before you fill it up: Relationship-building activities to promote effective learning environments. Mendes Training.

Doug Fisher and Nancy Frey are professors in the Department of Educational Leadership at San Diego State University and teacher leaders at Health Sciences High and Middle College. They are ASCD authors, most recently of All Learning Is Social and Emotional (ASCD, 2019), and their work inspired ASCD's FIT Teaching® program.

KEYWORDS

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Regaining "Compassion Satisfaction" - Educational Leadership

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December 2020/January 2021 | Volume 78 | Number 4 Mental Health for Educators Pages 78-79 Douglas Fisher and Nancy Frey We need to be highly resilient now-which means practicing self-care. 2020 is shaping up to be an annus horribilis. As educators, we've witnessed firsthand the triple punch of a global pandemic, racial injustice, and economic devastation.

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Selfcare Give 1 Get 8

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Give-1-Get-8 - from CASEL's Guide to Schoolwide SEL

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While many educators were already feeling burned out prior to the pandemic, the past year has exacerbated this crisis. An assistant professor and a doctoral candidate at University of Washington's Foster School of Business, we are no exception. Yet, despite experiencing burnout ourselves, neither of us used the many services available at our university, such as remote mindfulness workshops, virtual happy hours, and online support groups.

Why didn't we? Our reluctance is not uncommon: when individuals suffer from burnout, many feel too overwhelmed to participate meaningfully in wellness initiatives. Even when they do, studies show that external efforts to pull someone out of burnout-no matter how well intentioned-can fail. In an article published earlier this year in the Academy of Management Journal, we considered an alternative solution. If alleviation efforts initiated by others are so difficult to follow through on, how can those who are suffering treat their own burnout?

Identify Your Unique Burnout Symptoms

Our research confirmed prior findings that burnout is not monolithic; it presents as a combination of three symptoms: exhaustion (a depletion of mental or physical resources), cynical detachment (a depletion of social connectedness), and a reduced sense of efficacy (a depletion of belief in oneself).

In 2021, educators are vulnerable to all three. Constant overwork, such as the effort to prepare for large online and hybrid classes, can lead to exhaustion. Increased barriers, such as the screen between teacher and student or the sense of physical distance from a personalized classroom or comfortable office, can manifest in detachment. Finally, feeling like it is impossible to reach your students as well as you did before the pandemic can create feelings of inadequacy.

Students can experience similar symptoms of burnout, although the underlying reasons may differ. Exhaustion is more likely when juggling the demands of a hyper-competitive search for scholarships, internships, or post-graduate work during an economic downturn. Detachment is more likely after a year of not spending time with peers. Reduced efficacy is more likely as students face uncertainty about how they can make a difference in the struggles highlighted during the past year (for example, the pandemic, racial injustice, societal inequality, and violence).

The first step to combating burnout is to diagnose which symptoms you or your students are experiencing. The next step is to replenish those depleted resources.

Replenish the Right Resources: Self- vs. Other-Care

When participants in our own studies suffered from exhaustion, we found that re-energizing acts of self-care were the most effective tool for recovery. In one study, we followed business school students over their 10-day midterm period. We found that engaging in self-care (exercising, eating a nice meal, or taking a nap) correlated strongly with reduced levels of exhaustion the following day. One student reported, "I tried to be really kind to myself by listening to uplifting music beforehand and using a breathing meditation app afterwards to keep my mood at bay." These findings support the notion that self-care is not self-indulgent.

"The first step to combat burnout is to diagnose which symptoms you are experiencing. The next step is to replenish those depleted resources."

The best way to remedy exhaustion is to give yourself a break. This may mean doing activities you consider re-energizing, but it may also mean setting boundaries for yourself and your students. For instance, we now state in our syllabus that we will not respond to emails on Saturdays, and we encourage students to attend office hours instead. Additionally, we have instituted a more lenient late policy to accommodate students' strained schedules and heightened obligations.

Self-care may not be effective, however, when burnout is due to detachment. Focusing on yourself when you feel alienated can lead you to withdraw further. Instead, our research found that being kind to others can help you regain a sense of connectedness and belonging in your community. In our study, students who were kind to classmates felt less detached the next day. One student reported that after seeing a friend be bullied in class, inviting her for a long chat was exactly what they both needed: "It made me feel happy to help my friend and know she has more confidence to stand up to [the bully] the next time it happens."

These insights are supported by reports from educators who say that checking in with students and helping them through their struggles has created a stronger sense of personal connection. As you design your online environment, consider how you can reduce students' sense of alienation and facilitate opportunities for them to connect with each other. Keeping the chat open during class, encouraging students to keep their cameras on (we have found that themed outfit days can really help with this; one of us taught a whole class dressed as a banana!), and maximizing interactive activities through which students learn both about the material and about each other can help reduce your students' detachment, as well as your own.

Finally, when struggling with feelings of inefficacy, we found that acts of kindness both to oneself and to others can help. Both types of gestures made our study participants feel like they had accomplished something worthwhile. One reported after comforting a struggling classmate, "Doing this made me feel as though I was making a difference." Another told us, "I struggled today with an essay I am writing for one of my courses. I felt like I should know this material but am just slower at understanding the material. To be kind to myself, I told myself it is OK to not understand the first time around and I will eventually learn. Additionally, I treated myself to a meal [near campus] to fuel my endeavors and I felt a little better." In both cases, students' next-day levels of inefficacy decreased. Class time also offers many opportunities for students to demonstrate other-care, such as replacing solo assignments with more in-class discussions. Creating opportunities in which classmates can express gratitude to each other will be especially effective in affirming a student's sense of personal efficacy.

Small Acts Go a Long Way

Investing in caring gestures is a big ask when you are already burned out. In another study, we surveyed social service workers-a population similar to educators in their high rates of burnout-over three years. We found that when they felt burned out, this population engaged in less self- and other-care. Compassion can be hard. But those who mustered the energy to practice kindness showed significant reductions in burnout. This suggests two important lessons.

First, do not put too much pressure on yourself to come up with grand gestures (for example, signing up for a weekly workout class or organizing a 30-person wellness seminar). In an intervention, we asked students to offer one simple act of kindness every day, such as one kind word to another student or giving themselves time for a 15-minute walk. We found that even these small acts of care showed immediate results the following day in reducing burnout.

Second, it is never too late (or too early) to address your own burnout. Compassion is like a muscle: it can be depleted, but it can also be trained. In fact, compassion meditation training can rewire the brain, and breath training, appreciation exercises, yoga, and movement practices have been shown as effective for cultivating compassion. The key is to recognize that anyone can learn to be kinder to themselves and to others; these small acts (alongside other mental health practices) can help you begin to break free of burnout.

Agency Is Key

Of course, the best cure for burnout is prevention. The onus is on schools to prevent faculty, staff, and students from becoming resource depleted. Schools have a special responsibility to support the mental health of all community members. As we have noted, however, research has shown that interventions can increase the burden on an already burned-out academic community.

Our work suggests that, in these cases, educators can feel more empowered when they take control over their own lives and decisions. Rather than having the department chair organize endless happy hours or herd burned-out educators into forced team-building activities, real alleviation comes when administrators give educators the space and resources to pursue their own form of recovery.

This can mean explicitly encouraging teachers to take personal time to check in with a colleague, providing resources to build a mentoring network, or even just showing by example that the organization values self-care. Our own school has solicited such initiatives on a case-by-case basis; one colleague of ours, for example, asked to combine her two class lectures to use the second time slot more flexibly, thereby reducing her workload while creating a separate forum for interactions and community-building with students.

"Educators can feel more empowered when they take control over their own lives and decisions, not attend another endless virtual happy hour or forced team-building activity."

Similarly, when you see your students suffering from burnout, remember that their experiences, like yours, are unique. Prescribing generic solutions may not work. Instead, learn what their symptoms are and give them the skills to practice kindness to themselves or to others. Consider incorporating short self-compassion exercises or opportunities to build high-quality connections into your classes. These activities facilitate a compassionate learning community in which its members embrace self-care and feel genuine concern for each other. As educators, the best way we may help our students is to offer them the tools to navigate their own recovery-and make sure we facilitate our own, too.

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Educators and Students Are Burned Out. These Strategies Can Help.

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While many educators were already feeling burned out prior to the pandemic, the past year has exacerbated this crisis. An assistant professor and a doctoral candidate at University of Washington's Foster School of Business, we are no exception.

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10 Minute Chakra Meditation (Daily Recharge) ❤️ 528HZ

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Four in 5 teachers at high-poverty urban schools with large minority student populations experience moral injury-meaning they feel compelled to act against their values or sometimes witness peers engaging in behavior that is counter to their values-according to a recent study.

" Moral Injury Among Professionals in K-12 Education " surveyed a Midwestern district that the Civil Rights Division of the U.S. Department of Justice had pressured to increase graduation rates and lower suspensions by adopting restorative justice policies. "Teachers felt betrayed because administrators were telling them to say their school was adopting these policies even though they hadn't received any training or support," says Erin Sugrue, the study's author. Educators also believed administrators focused more on giving higher grades than improving education.

Sugrue advises administrators under such pressures to develop collaborative relationships with teachers, because those who feel strongly about morality may leave their district if they feel ignored.

"That doesn't mean you have to always agree with them," she says. "It just means it's important to see and listen when teachers express discomfort."

Dealing with disruptive behavior

Instances of moral injury in schools are often associated with disciplinary issues because some teachers' views about discipline may not align with their district's practices and policies, says Mike Anderson, an ASCD whole child approach advisor and independent education consultant, who specializes in social-emotional learning and teacher health and balance.

"I've worked with a significant number of schools where one student will disrupt the classroom and make learning impossible," Anderson says. Forcefully removing such a student from the classroom could solve the problem, but many school policies only allow the use of force if a student is harming themselves or someone else. Teachers may then experience moral injury because they feel the district's policies are preventing them from helping students who want to learn but cannot, Anderson says.

"There's also a sense that the child who's being disruptive is acting out because they want someone to help them regain control," says Anderson. "Teachers would like to help, but are so worried about being accused of using force incorrectly that the default is to do nothing."

In some districts, teachers bring disruptive students to calming rooms or other quiet spaces. However, some educators may view such a solution as a transgression against their own values about discipline.

"Teachers who believe that their role is to manage students through consequences may see this as their peers rewarding bad behavior," says Anderson.

Sharing your beliefs

When consulting teachers on moral disagreements, Anderson suggests gathering their core beliefs to find common ground on school policies. Administrators should also encourage faculty to report questionable behavior and to use data to support policy changes, which could help prevent teachers from complaining to one another about perceived transgressions by colleagues.

"If schools don't take the time to understand what everyone believes, then they will likely find themselves in these unpleasant situations," says Anderson.

Potential dangers of 'moral injury'

The term "moral injury," originally coined by military psychologists and psychiatrists, should only be used for extreme pathological reactions, says Howard Adelman, co-director of the School Mental Health Project and the National Center for Mental Health in Schools at UCLA. "The danger in applying it to school personnel is that it contributes to a pathological bias that already is too widespread in schools, such as overpathologizing in respect to the large-scale misdiagnoses of common learning and behavior problems."

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Educators increasingly struggle with 'moral injury'

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Four in 5 teachers at high-poverty urban schools with large minority student populations experience moral injury-meaning they feel compelled to act against their values or sometimes witness peers engaging in behavior that is counter to their values-according to a recent study.