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Glossophobia is one of the stressors in my life. This stressor is not a good type of stress as it worsens my focus and makes me think about the day of presenting to the class over and over again; thinking about all the mistakes or embarrassing moments that could happen. On a scale of 1 - 10 based on stress, (1 = least stress, 10 = most stressful thing in my life) I would rate this one an 8 out of 10, as over the years I've gotten more comfortable with myself, speaking towards others, and making friends. However, it still would be one of things that I hate doing in my entire life. It will never excite me.

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Studying for tests is another stressor in my life. This stressor is neither bad or good, as it depends on what type of test I'm taking. For example, preparing for midterms/finals is very scary/stressful since I never know what's going to be on the test. Plus, remembering back all the way to the start of the school year till now is something that is extremely hard to do, this makes me completely crazy. But for simple unit tests: I feel confident, prepared and ready to take the test; this helps me focus and is an example of eustress. On a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate this stress an 8.5 because grades really matter to me. I usually get really upset when my grade is something that were below my expectations. But I have been learning to control my anxiety for tests, telling myself that it's okay if I get something I don't expect to; as long as I try my best.

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Getting ready for school is one of the stressors in my life because. Whenever I get up at 6:00 AM, (because my bus comes at 7:14 AM which actually kills me inside) I'm really tired and my eye bags are puffy as ever and the hair isn't hairing, but I still have to get ready for school. Since I just transitioned into middle school about 1 year ago, all of my clothes are really childish. I get really embarrassed when I even look at them, but I also feel really ashamed; because as I was younger in elementary school, I never had a care in the world in what I looked like. Even my school pictures in elementary up until 5th grade were absolutely horrendous, as my hair was never brushed and/or I didn't have any special clothes in particular for picture day. But I was still happy, knowing that other people have the same clothes as me. But now, everyone wears more mature clothes, something like what 20 year-olds/college students would wear. There are so many trends that go around every single day that I will never be able to catch up to like: Socks over leggings, (which I find really ugly, not gonna lie) zip ups, lululemon, (very expensive btw) crop tops, (Hate those), PJ Pants, (My mom would never believe me when I said people wear Pajamas to school) and slides & Nike tech. (Will never be able to afford those) Honestly, I might not have similar taste in what everyone else wears as I'm still in the process of a closet clean out. But every time I look at my closet, I'm afraid that people will judge me for what I wear, so it takes me a long time to create an outfit. On a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate this an 8.5 because this is one of the reasons why I hate waking up for school everyday.

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Orchestra is one of the stressors in my life because, it's very hard to be a good player. There is this thing called a concertmaster, which is the best of the best. The concertmaster are the first ones you can see on stage, and the ones that the conductor introduces first. (My friends and family have to look very hard to see me) This stresses me out because my orchestra class has a really annoying teacher, in my opinion. (my friends also agree with this) Although I have an adequate class with nice/funny friends, my teacher always has to find a way to ruin my day. One time during the 2-hour long midterm periods, we were instructed to sit with our stand partners and practice our upcoming pieces for the spring concerts, which I don't mind doing. But here's the thing, we weren't allowed to move to our seats, and I didn't have anyone to talk to. So, over the past 2 hours, I sat there doing absolutely nothing. During that time period, I even tried to communicate with my friends just to have fun as I already practiced a lot which means I had to move from my seat, which also means that she yelled at me from across the whole orchestra room.(that is extremely big) And then, she had the audacity to tell us at the end: "Why are you all so jumpy? I gave you so much time to socialize.", the amount of anger and frustration I felt caused me to have so much stress after she said that. I used to like this teacher at first, but I lost all my respect after that. In addition, orchestra concerts are a pain to do. They're so nerve-wracking, and to add to my anxiety the stage is really hot because of the lights shining onto your instrument, and onto your face. (which isn't supposed to be in hot/cold temperatures) You can't even see the audience because of how bright these lights are. Also, just one person making one mistake lets down the whole group. If you play on a rest your life is basically over and you failed the concert. And then, when the honors group comes in, you just feel like a failure. They played so good that my left hand fell off by just seeing their technique and their sophistications are amazing. On a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate this stressor a 6 because orchestra is a fun way to make friends and to hang out with people by practicing. It all just depends on who's your instructor and how they treat people.

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Curly hair is one the stressors in my life because it's very hard to manage. When I was in elementary, I never knew how to take control of my hair or how to style it. My mom didn't know how to either so she would just tell me to brush it; which made it really poofy and frizzy in the end. To add on, every time I went to school I saw these girls with beautiful straight/slightly wavy hair that seemed really healthy, which made me feel like an outlier. Sometimes my friends and family would tell me "Why didn't you brush you hair?" Which really annoyed me, because I worked really hard on my hair based on the resources I had at the time. (But of course I didn't have the heart to tell them anything) School pictures with my poofy and crazy hair in them always made me gag, the only way I ever felt pretty was when I straightened it. But in the end, my sister and I cut off a lot of my hair, which made me look like Dora for a couple of months. But ever since, I felt really confident as I learned to take care of my hair, and use products that actually work for me. This is an example of eustress because I actually wanted to work hard and research to make my hair look & feel better, and healthy. Although my curls will always be different every day, I still love them and I'm always curious/excited to see what they look like everyday. On a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate this stressor a 5 because at one time in my life it made me feel horrible, but I've grown to love it and now it makes me feel unique and confident.

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When I get stressed out, one of my instincts are to bite my nails intensely. Ever since in elementary I've had very short nails for this reason, and I never grew out of this habit. But recently, I've been trying to put nail polish with cool colors and designs I found on Youtube in order to stop my habit. This usually relives my stress every time I put nail polish on.

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When I get extremely stressed out, my crisis plan would probably call a suicide hot-line when it comes to it. They are always open 24/7, and their always ready to be here and empathize with you. Or just being a listener to all my problems. The advisors will even give me some tips that I can use for next time if it ever gets this bad again. (It never got this bad, that I had to use a suicide hotline)

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Whenever I'm feeling upset about something, my friends/family will be the first one to come and talk to me. This gives me a chance to talk about all of my feelings, and the reason why I'm feeling this way. This helps me calm down, get a chance to relax and reflect on my day. Sometimes they even empathize with me, which makes me a feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only one going through this.

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Something that helps me calm me down when I'm dealing with stress is watching my favorite series on Netflix. Although it's kind of coordinated with procrastination it still helps me clear my head and laugh when their are funny/relatable parts in the series.

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When I'm dealing with stress, distracting myself by talking to my friends/family helps me forget about my stress. Whenever I talk to them I instantly feel relaxed when they start talking about their day, as I feel happy when they feel happy. They always make me feel included in everything, just having fun with them is all I need to feel loved and cared for.

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My Hero is my religion/God: Coptic Orthodox Christianity. Every time I feel overwhelmed, I usually read my bible and take my chances by flipping through any page of the bible to find a verse that helps to remind myself that God will always be here for you. To walk in my hero's shoes, that means that I would have to listen to everyone's prayers and problems, comfort them in times of struggles, create miracles to people's lives, make them feel loved, wash out their inequity and sins, and have forgiveness for people that have done the most unspeakable and unfathomable things. Although I could fit so many more in this list, God is truly one of the things I live for and he will always be there in times of need.

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One of the resources I have, thanks to my church/religion is a Father of Confession. A Father of Confession is someone that you confess to, in order to let free of any guilt or shame and wash out your sins. Even if you have done unspeakable things, the Father of Confession will not be able to call 911. But instead, they will tell you the way of Christianity and give advice to you by praying at the end of every confession. I personally really like this option as this is something that not everyone has, it especially really helps when I'm going through really tough times.

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One of the resources I have is support groups. Support groups help me realize that I'm not alone, as I always can connect with others who are going through the same. Every time anyone feels upset, our group will do anything to help those people. This is a completely safe group, that won't judge you for any problems you're having.

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Resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline

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Resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline

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One of the resources that I care for deeply are the suicide hotlines. The responders on the hotlines will always take time out of their day just to help people who aren't feeling like themselves. They take lots of effort just to empathize with you, make you feel that you're enough, and that you have a purpose in life. The responders even make the setting comfortable so you can talk without any judgement.

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Whenever I'm dealing with stress, I usually go outside to take a walk just to be one with nature. Admiring the beauty of all of life just makes me feel enough, knowing that all of these flowers can bloom; makes me feel like I can bloom as well. Taking deep breaths in nature makes me feel calm, relaxed and cared for. Since God created the Earth perfectly, it's soothing to just appreciate the life he created. This helps me reduce stress, knowing that I'm one of the things that God created, in his image.