# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
🌱 Recommended Conversation Topics & Questions 🌱

<aside> ❤️‍🔥 Below you will find some recommended topics/questions for your weekly 1:1 dialog with your leader. It is important that you are prepared with any priorities or topics that are important to your work and development.

</aside>

Recurring questions (Ask these often!)

Playbacks / split-tracks: So, it sounds like there are two issues, x and y. Which should we focus on first?

Deblur questions: What does X mean to you?

**SOON questions:** What does Success look like? What are the Obstacles? Options? Next steps?

Small talk / purposeful connection

How are you? How was your week? Weekend? How's your family / pet / hobby?

What can I help with that could make your work / life balance 10% better?

On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with how the week went? What's been on your mind?

Questions to understand their motivators / drivers

When do you feel you are at your best? What conditions create it?

Which part of your work is most energizing? Least energizing? What do you wish you could do less of? More of?

What area under your responsibility are you most satisfied with? Least satisfied with?

What would you say your biggest strengths are? What % of time do you get to use them? How can we increase that?

What can you do now that you couldn't do six months ago? How did you learn that?

Questions to develop long-term goals

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
🌱 Recommended Conversation Topics & Questions 🌱

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Have you heard that you should fill your cup first? We usually hear this term in relation to self-care, but what does it mean exactly? I want to share with you what filling your cup means to me, and why you need to fill your cup first. There are many ways to fill your cup, and I'll share with you what works for me as well as some of the reasons that I personally struggle with it.

What Does "Fill Your Cup" mean?

Has your life ever gotten too busy? Mine does from time to time. I want to do so many things for so many people and I want to do them well, too - not just half-way. I want to help people and be there for my friends and family when they need me.

There's only one problem with that, though.... I'm just one person and there are only so many hours in the day. I can't do everything, even though I am guilty of trying. When that happens, it leaves me feeling depleted. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt depleted....emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted; like you had nothing left to give? At that point, your cup is empty.

To fill your cup means to replenish those stores of mental, emotional, and physical energy. It means that you need to stop and recharge your batteries. You would not expect a device to run with a depleted battery, would you? A device cannot run when the battery has no energy to give. While you are much more valuable than any device, you do not run so well on depleted batteries either. You have to fill your cup.

Pin It For Later!

Why Is It So Hard to Fill Your Cup?

In today's modern world we are all busy - a fact that my elderly relative comments on frequently. In her view, we are too busy. Perhaps she is right. We run and run trying to fit more and more into our schedules. Since we can't make more hours in the day, we inevitably wind up taking that time out of our sleep.

It's hard to find time to unplug. Sure, the idea sounds nice, but you have X, Y, and Z on your to-do list and it has to be done today! The world might end if it's not done! You will let someone down. Someone will be disappointed. Everything seems like it should be a priority.

So we keep running. Over time, that running makes our cups develop a slow leak, which sometimes turns into a big leak. Our bodies and our brains are not meant to run full out all the time.

Stop. Just stop. You are one person and can only do so much. You are not responsible for the world. It may feel like it, but you are not. That's why it's so hard to fill our cups. Stopping in today's busy world is incredibly hard. But - it can be done.

Sometimes you just need a break and a stress-free day.

Related: The Best Yearly Planner to Slay Your Goals
Stay on Task and Focused With These 5 Quick Tips Boost Your Productivity With Time-Blocking

The Consequences Of Not Stopping to Fill Your Cup

So what does happen when you don't fill your cup? Burnout. According to Google, there have been over 350,000 searches for the term "burnout" in the past 30 days. Wow. That seems to me to be a problem. Burnout is what happens when you don't stop to fill your cup. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged periods of stress.

Our bodies are equipped to handle stress in short bursts - not long term. It's no secret that long-term stress has many negative effects on the body . When you stop to fill your cup, you are recharging your batteries so that you can better deal with whatever you will face the next day.

Pin It!

No, it's not a blank canvas or a blank word document. White space refers to the places in your life or in your day where you pause. It's the empty spot on your calendar. It's the spot that you take your "me time." White space is the time in your day that's dedicated to filling our cup. Like the metaphor it calls to mind, it's blank time that you can choose to do whatever you want with for you. This is not an empty time period to schedule one more obligation or appointment. Your white space is an appointment - with you, from you, and for you.

Stopping to Fill Your Cup is Self-Care

To me, filling your cup is self-care. There are many ways to care for yourself. It's not all bubble baths and candles and "fru-fru stuff" either. Guys need self-care as much as women. Hobbies are a great way to practice self-care, or you can write or journal, sip tea and watch the sunset (or sunrise). I also love to take a walk and enjoy being outside. There are many, many ways to fill your cup , and you may do something different every time. Pick something that appeals to you.

Finding Time to Fill Your Cup

We have already talked about how precious (and limited) the commodity of time is. Like money, if you do not have an intentional plan, you will find it has slipped away. Schedule your "me-time." If things are not adding up, then you may have to start subtracting. Subtract some things from your schedule. "Say no to good so you can say yes to great." Be willing to let it go. My husband and I were talking about this subject recently, and he told me that "Sometimes you just have to walk away and let the world burn." He reminded me that I can only do so much.

You have to realize that you should be a priority. I know we can't make everything a priority or it defeats the whole idea of priorities, but you can't take care of others unless you take care of yourself. If I don't take time to take care of my health, which includes my mental, emotional, and physical health, what would happen to my family? Taking care of me IS taking care of them.

I am always learning more about filling my cup and finding time to work on myself. I cover this more in-depth in my course, Questing for Contentment.

Fill Your Cup Quotes

I love a good quote to lift me up. I'd like to share a few of my favorite fill your cup and self-care quotes in hopes that they will lift you up too.

"Self-care is not selfish" - Jim Kwik Click To Tweet

"Take time to do what makes your soul happy"

"When the well is dry, we know the worth of water." - Ben Franklin

"An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly."

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." - Anne Lamott

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." - Anne Lamott Click To Tweet

Related: 20 Beautiful Short Inspirational Quotes to Live By

Fill Your Cup Bible Verses

There is no one that can fill your cup better than the one that gave you the cup in the first place. There are several categories of self-care and "spiritual" is one of them. To me, filling my cup is about renewing my strength, faith, and overall well being. These are some of my favorite Bible verses about filling your cup.

Psalms 23:3 "He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Psalms 23:3 "He restoreth my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Click To Tweet

Psalms 23:5 " Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over."

Isaiah 40:31 " But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Romans 15:13 " Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost."

Romans 15:13 " Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." Click To Tweet

II Corinthians 7:4 "Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my glorying of you: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation."

*All verses are from the KJV

Related: 18 Bible Verses For Hard Times

My Personal Challenges With Filling My Cup

I struggle to find time to fill my cup. I don't' want to let anyone down. ( Hello perfectionism!) I want to be there for people. I want to be depended on and relied on and I want to pull my weight. There is guilt of wanting to make everything perfect, and of trying to do everything that I think everyone expects. When in reality, that's not the case at all, it's just my perception.

Sometimes my to-do list seems overwhelming and I feel like I have no choice but to keep going and doing. I feel like my batteries are getting low and my cup empty, but I press on. I commented to my husband this morning "I'm not even sure I know how to relax anymore. What do you do to relax?"

Our joke is that I'm good at a lot of things, but I'm terrible at relaxing. My natural tendency is go, go, go, but that's not good for me. I'm trying to let go of the guilt. I'm trying to make positive changes and remember to make time for myself. (Yes, it's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there.)

Like it? Pin it!

If You Feel Like You Cup is Empty, You Are Not Alone!

If reading my account above sounds familiar, I want you to know that you are not alone. Many people, and I think women and mothers, in particular, have a hard time filling their cup first. I came across this account from another blogger about her own struggle with filling her cup. Sometimes just knowing that you are not the only one that struggles with something makes you feel better. (or it does for me.)

Life is messy. It's demanding at times, and sometimes, it's just downright hard! It's ok to not be perfect and not have it all together. Remember to stop comparing yourself to others because there's a lot you don't see. No one's life is social media perfect. That's just a highlight reel for the good things.

Remember this: you are loved, you are special, and no one in the world can take your place. You need to take care of you in order to take care of everyone else in your life.

The Results of Taking Time to Fill My Cup

I have seen some great results since starting this blog and taking time to fill my own cup. I'm happier, overall. I have learned a ton of personal development, and things for personal growth that I have tried to share with you. Life is not always easy, but there is always joy to be found. Sometimes you have to look harder than other times, but it's there. I want to encourage you and uplift you as you read. As I write, I do the same for myself. Love is a funny thing - the more you give it away, the more it comes back to you. I know that you are busy loving and taking care of the other people in your life, but remember to take some time to fill your own cup as well. Share some of that love with yourself.

What are some of your struggles with taking time to fill your cup, or what are your favorite ways to unwind? Leave me a comment below!

God Bless and Happy Questing!

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
33 Practical Ways To Fill Your Cup When Life Gets Hard

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Do you need to stop and fill your cup? You can't pour from an empty cup, and you need some self-care to fill it up. Click for 33 practical ways...

# data[].attributes.headline
Esther Perel: The Routines, Rituals, & Boundaries we Need in Stressful Times

# data[].attributes.subject
Esther Perel: The Routines, Rituals, & Boundaries we Need in Stressful Times

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Get a daily email featuring the latest talk, plus a quick mix of trending content.

By subscribing, you understand and agree that we will store, process and manage your personal information according to our Privacy Policy

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Esther Perel: The routines, rituals and boundaries we need in stressful times

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
How do you effectively regulate stress? Therapist Esther Perel discusses the importance of creating routines, rituals and boundaries to deal with pandemic-related loss and uncertainty -- both at home and at work -- and offers some practical tools and techniques to help you regain your sense of self.

# data[].attributes.headline
Ted Talk: Your 3-Step Guide to Setting Better Boundaries at Work

# data[].attributes.subject
Ted Talk: Your 3-Step Guide to Setting Better Boundaries at Work

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Nedra Glover Tawwab: Your 3-step guide to setting better boundaries at work

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Know you should establish clear limits at work but not sure how to do it? Here are a few strategies from relationship therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawwab that can help you feel more empowered and less overwhelmed, both on and off the job.

# data[].attributes.headline
HBR: Stop Work Overload by Setting These Boundaries

# data[].attributes.subject
HBR: Stop Work Overload by Setting These Boundaries

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Why is it that when your friends, your significant other, and especially your mom tell you, You need to stop working so much! - you hesitate? On the one hand, you know they have a point. It's unsustainable to pull 12- to 14-hour days on a consistent basis, and you feel burnt-out and cranky. But when it comes to actually setting boundaries, you stall and tell yourself and others, "It's just a busy time. It will get better soon..."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Stop Work Overload By Setting These Boundaries

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Reclaim your life with effective time investment.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Boundary predators appear in every realm of life. From the boss who asks you to fix the slide show botched by a colleague (and to add three new slides while you're at it) to the 10-year-old who asks for "just five more minutes" of screen time to complete their video game, it can feel like you say "no" all day long. The author supplies scripts and sample language to help you set - and hold - boundaries, no matter who is trying to push you to do more than you agreed to.

Boundary predators are easy to find at work. They include the boss who asks you to work the weekend you have a family wedding or the client who tacks on two more presentations to the senior team than you agreed to, or the team leader who assigns you more work than your colleagues.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Boundary predators appear in every realm of life. From the boss who asks you to fix the slide show botched by a colleague (and to add three new slides while you're at it) to the 10-year-old who asks for "just five more minutes" of screen time to complete their video game, it can feel like you say "no" all day long.

# data[].attributes.headline
HBR Podcast: Creating Boundaries in Our Everyday Work

# data[].attributes.subject
HBR Podcast: Creating Boundaries in Our Everyday Work

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When you're struggling with mental health, the day-to-day routines of a work environment can be a lot - even for a famous author and academic, like Roxane Gay.

Gay speaks with host Morra Aarons-Mele about how recognizing and enforcing boundaries helps her navigate work and stress. Plus, later in the episode, we hear from Bob Pozen, a former financial executive and author of Remote, Inc.: How to Thrive at Work ... Wherever You Are, about productivity and mental health.
HBR Presents is a network of podcasts curated by HBR editors, bringing you the best business ideas from the leading minds in management. The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Harvard Business Review or its affiliates.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Creating Boundaries in Our Everyday Work (with Roxane Gay)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A conversation with author Roxane Gay about work and mental health. Plus, Bob Pozen discusses productivity and mental health.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find out if your organisation has all the right ingredients to improve productivity and protect wellbeing.

# data[].attributes.headline
Ted Talk: Storytelling in a Data-Hooked World

# data[].attributes.subject
Ted Talk: Storytelling in a Data-Hooked World

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Jennifer Egan on storytelling in a data-hooked world (Transcript)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading - through TED.com, our annual conferences, the annual TED Prize and local TEDx events.

# data[].attributes.body
*contains graphic language

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Filmmaker Andrew Stanton (“Toy Story,” “WALL-E”) shares what he knows about storytelling -- starting at the end and working back to the beginning. Contains graphic language ... (Note: this talk is not available for download.)

# data[].attributes.headline
Fostering Quality Connections: Direct Report Edition

# data[].attributes.subject
Fostering Quality Connections: Direct Report Edition

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Quality Connections: Employee Prep Guide

# data[].attributes.headline
Fostering Quality Connections: People Leader Edition

# data[].attributes.subject
Fostering Quality Connections: People Leader Edition

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Quality Connections: People Leader Prep Guide

# data[].attributes.body
Let me know if you would like a downloadable copy of this.

# data[].attributes.headline
5Mins: Lainey Gossip Founder of the Secrets of Storytelling

# data[].attributes.subject
5Mins: Lainey Gossip Founder of the Secrets of Storytelling