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Eric appreciated my clear introduction but noted the transitions between arguments could be smoother, and advised me to add linking sentences between paragraphs to improve coherence.What’s more, he suggested some claims needed stronger supporting evidence, and incorporate additional data or quotes from authoritative sources to bolster key points.He thought the conclusion summarized well but missed a final persuasive “call to action”. So,maybe I can end with a bold statement or question to leave a lasting impression.

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He thought my essay structure was very complete. There was a good argument for the topic. And he thought the example I gave of Nike company was very representative. He thought that it was interesting to discuss the quantitative measurement. He said that there were still some minor errors in referencing that are worth discussing and need to be corrected in different situations.

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Eric thought my thesis statement was very developed and specific! And he thought the first sentences in every paragraph was perfect from the standpoint of cohesion. What’s more, he thought the essay had the good signposting! And he was interested in building “trust capital” and risk management. Moreover, he pointed out some grammar and phrase errors I’ve made. He also said I need to correct reference template.

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Class test