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Themes: ways in which I have transformed

1. I was so anxious at the beginning of this course, so in my head + worried about being perceived → able to step in, less focused on what others were thinking; the space transformed for me from a place of immense discomfort to a place where I could be present and enjoy myself

1. I’ve seen this transformation many times in my life, I have BEEN transforming for years, exposure therapy on the daily, it is insane to think about how much I have changed, makes me sad to think about the pain that past sara held for such simple things

2. ENJOYING art + being proud of what I created, being proud of it for me and not focused on others

3. Surprised myself in Fiona’s cops in the head reenactment

1. I know myself best

2. Sometimes adults cause harm, they don’t always know what’s best even if they are trying to protect you

3. I can turn my cops into angels

4. Importance of having compassion for the parts of myself that struggle even when logically I know the struggle is unnecessary

4. Things that I have been reminded of that I need to address

1. I feel a lot of pain and fear around loss, this is super something that I need to address in therapy

5. Decision to stay in the bay next year

1. Realizing I need to do what is best for me and be wherever is best for me

6. Processing my fear of coming out to my students

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At the beginning, everything was uncomfortable.

I felt stuck inside my head.

I am frustrated by how in my head I am. I’m tired of pretending I am fully engaged. I am tired of trying soooo hard to be engaged.

At the beginning, everything was uncomfortable

Have thrown myself into moments and experiences that were REALLY out of my comfort zone and as the bound of my comfort have changed, I’ve continued to push myself to do more

At times, though, I have had days where I didn’t feel willing to push myself as far

I feel more confident in my ability to create art and therefore can more easily imagine myself teaching art to my students or incorporating art into my future classroom.

I created things that felt like they captured parts of me and my thoughts and enjoyed doing it and was proud of it.

In LA I feel like the bridge, a bridge between my own beliefs and my family’s; having to explain myself and my life choices, my choices in dress; having to explain others’ rights, my rights; having to rationalize things that are said

I got here because I couldn’t stay silent, I got here because I can’t say nothing

I stay here because I love my family, because they accept me

But I also leave because I need to remember who I am, I need breaks

When I am not here, I feel lighter, I feel freer, I feel like I can evolve and take risks, I feel like a teacher and okay being one, I feel secure, I feel sad because I miss my people and sad that I have to be far to feel this

It reminds me that I know me better than others know me.

Cops (enforce the law) v.s. people who say negative things.

This feeling that the cops are everywhere.

I was expecting Manny to say it was weird for me to tell my student Audrey I have a girlfriend.

Pretend I am not upset when people over-ask for things, overstep knowing I will give and give.

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3.4: Students understand the role of rules and laws in our daily lives and the basic structure of the U.S. government.

I feel that this standard has the potential of falling into idealization, since it encourages a compliance with authority and only lists the structures that exist and not the issues that come along with them.

3.5: Students demonstrate basic economic reasoning skills and an understanding of the economy of the local region.

This one could also fall into idealization because once again, it only lists the structures that exist and not the issues that come along with them. Furthermore, it does not at all question capitalism as an ideal.

3.2: Students describe the American Indian nations in their region long ago and in the recent past.

What about in the present?!

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Wasn't expecting to submit this version, but took this voice message as I was walking home and it captures all my thoughts right after class.

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Prompt: At the beginning of the year, children bring in pictures of their families to hang in the room. When one of your students shares a picture of him with his brother and two moms, another student blurts out that his mom says that families should have a mommy and a daddy. Given your identity and your teaching context, what are your best options for immediate response and in the longer term?

Honestly, I find this question really tough because it is clear that what the student says has something to do with this students' parents' beliefs. I also find it tough because as someone who is queer, I have a hard time responding to homophobic comments because they are directly related to me, and I find it harder to defend myself than to defend others. As an immediate response, I would say something along the lines of: "Well there are many different types of families and this is one of them. We need to be respectful of each other's families."

Afterwards, I would check-in with the student whose parents were talked about if he overheard to make sure that he is okay.

In order to continue addressing this with this student and the entire class, I think that I would have the students do activities that relate to this topic. For example, I would do an interactive read aloud on a book about how families can look different. An issue I can see coming is if the student who made the comment's parents wouldn't want him engaging in these activities. However, if that comes up and they want that student pulled out then that will be what happens.

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The purpose and values of my teaching are…

Creating a caring classroom community

Being a safe, caring, and supportive adult in the life of my students

Holding my students to high standards, both in terms of their learning and their behavior

Helping students learn to interact with and respect those around them

Creating an environment where my students feel represented and valued

Being an ally to my students

Modeling self love and acceptance

Not tolerating hate

Students feel safe voicing their thoughts, opinions, questions, concerns

Two-way teaching, both students and I as teachers and learners

Foster curiosity in my students

As an educator, you can see my vision implemented through the following everyday practices:

Modeling self love and acceptance

Calling in rather than calling out

Giving students opportunities to talk about their lives and experiences

Learning about my students' cultures and identities

Choosing content (such as books) that reflect the various identities of my students and their families (race, class, ethnicity, sexuality, etc)

Being out as a queer teacher

Building relationships with other school staff

Making an effort to build a relationship with every single student

Setting clear expectations and boundaries and consistently enforcing them

Holding students to high standards in terms of their learning and their interactions with one another and with me

Not tolerating homophobia, racism, xenophobia, sexism, any terms of hate, bullying, etc.

Naming white supremacy, retelling history

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Geography: Where is a place that you have felt like you belong(ed), and why? Where is a place where you haven't felt a sense of belonging, and why?

I feel like most spaces have been simultaneously or at different times places where I felt I belonged and places where I felt I didn't belong. West LA is a place where I've felt like I belong because of how represented I feel there - there is a large Iranian community, a large Jewish community, and a large Iranian Jewish community. Growing up I always felt like people around me shared or knew about and understood my culture and upbringing. However, once I came out and grew into my queer identity, LA, and more specifically my community, came to be a place where I often don't feel I belong. BTEP is a place where I've felt like I belonged in terms of my queer identity. It is the first time I've felt truly safe and accepted in that and have had a community of queer people around me! As the only Middle Eastern person in our cohort, I sometimes miss having people around who understand or share my culture and background or something similar to it - who celebrate similar holidays, speak similar languages, feel a tie to the Middle East, mourn over the atrocities currently taking place in Iran and in so many other parts of the Middle East.

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Sara Rashti - Black Panther Party 10-point Program

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1. How should one define the differences between and relationship between race and ethnicity?

2. Where do I fit into all of this? Where does my family/my community?

3. What is the history behind the definition and creation of the term “ethnicity”? The author mentions that it was used to describe the development of modern nationalism in Europe. I would love to learn more!

4. Trying to wrap my head around the concept of Native Americans not being an ethnic group. Couldn’t they still be an ethnic group but the one that was native to the US, making Europeans the ones who are foreign (but in power)? Wouldn’t the colonizer in a situation be a separate ethnic group from the colonized?

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Copy of PARTS, PURPOSES & COMPLEXITIES: Ethnic Studies

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I found today's class really insightful and powerful! It was so amazing to hear Kimberly speak about an issue that she is passionate about and impart wisdom on all of us. It was really powerful to learn about the Capstone Project and to see an example of what students can create and the impact they can have when given the space and agency (with guidance along the way).

The reading, along with a readings from Kyle's class about the trauma narrative, deficit ideology, and the way in which low SES urban schools are depicted in media, have opened my eyes to the ways in which adults and especially teachers can let their students down. Adults let these kids down by lowering expectations or, as this article discussed, focusing on only the negative behaviors in a population, rather than recognizing the ways in which students can work together to combat hardship or solve issues in the community!

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I learned a lot from Dr. Sacramento today! I heard the terms Pinoy, Pinay, and Pinxy for the first time and learned the they are used to refer to people of Filipino descent. I learned TWLF, including that they shut down SF State for 5 months, that TW men were being recruited for the army and sent off to war, and that a goal of the TWLF was to recruit youth into higher education and recruit more faculty of color. One of my pedagogical commitments is to build a relationship with each of my students. Additionally, to build a community in my classroom and a space where students feel safe voicing their thoughts and opinions and feel accepted by me and their peers.

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Of course, I've always known and thought about how race is socially constructed, but it was really fascinating and enlightening to  hear the author talk race in relation to immigration to the US - this really drove home that message for me of how it is socially constructed and how arbitrary it was when it was first created. For example, this showed up in the text when the author wrote, "..immigrants from mostly western Europeans who came to the American continent had assimilated and constructed for themselves "a new racial identity called white." The article, and our class discussions, also made me think a lot about how race is ever-changing and how it can really be defined by environment someone finds themselves in and how others perceive that person. That same quote also shows how after immigrating and assimilating, many immigrant groups' racial identity changes. The author further discusses this when he discusses the Irish, who had at first experienced severe discrimination upon arrival. He wrote, "They had assimilated the values of privilege and discourses and behaviors of domination that permitted them to claim status within the social hierarchy."
While reading, I was thinking about how my family/Iranian community fit into this entire picture and was thinking about how I did not get an answer threw the article since there was no mention of the Middle East. I felt that the quote above about the Irish, however, did relate somewhat to my community of Iranians in Los Angeles.

Questions:

1. How should one define the differences between and relationship between race and ethnicity?

2. Where do I fit into all of this? Where does my family/my community?

3. Trying to wrap my head around the concept of Native Americans not being an ethnic group. Couldn’t they still be an ethnic group but the one that was native to the US, making Europeans the ones who are foreign (but in power)? Wouldn’t the colonizer in a situation be a separate ethnic group from the colonized?

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Honestly, my biggest takeaway from this first class session was that I have so so so much to learn. I, sadly, have never taken an ethnic studies class. Thinking back, we had a class titled Race, Class, and Gender in high school but I never took it, and in college I was a psychobiology (basically just psychology and biology) major so ethnic studies was far out of my realm and shamefully not something I thought to take. Going forward, I am really excited and looking forward to how much I will learn and also really nervous because I feel like participating (feeling like I have something to contribute) in this class will not come easily to me.

In terms of the content from our readings and the class session, I am really glad that

we watched On Strike! and I got a view into the history and battle around fighting for an ethnic studies department at UC Berkeley. Furthermore, the reading opened my eyes to the struggle to establish well-taught ethnic studies classes in K12 schools around the country and began my learning on what it takes to be a successful and impactful ethnic studies teacher. It was very difficult to watch the documentary and to see the violence that was inflicted on students and community members on our campus. Also, our classroom discussion afterwards was really interesting and helped me to have a more nuanced perspective on UC Berkeley as an institution. In the reading I really appreciated and learned from Halgao’s perspective on a decolonizing curriculum as being feeling-based and allowing room for students to feel a range of emotions.

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Sara Rashti- SESSION 2 July 13-BEFORE CLASS

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My collage is centered on the revolution that is currently taking place in Iran. It was, in part, inspired by the lyrics in the song Baraye by Shervin Hajipour, an Iranian artist who was arrested and taken to Evin Prison (a prison in Tehran notorious for its horrific torture and abuse of those taken there) after releasing this song on YouTube. In his song he quotes twitter posts by Iranians that say "baraye" which means "for" and then list victims of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Some of those listed are: the women of Iran - "my sister, your sister, our sisters", impoverished kids, dogs who are not allowed in Iran and are killed if found, the environment, and the endangered Asiatic cheetahs that only remain in Iran. I included the image of the endangered Floridian bobcat to allude to these cheetahs. I found a map of the world with colors indicating how polluted the air is. I included the part of the map that showed Iran and how horrible the air quality is there, showing a mismanaging of resources by the government. I included the x-ray/mri of someones head because many protesters and political prisoners have had traumatic head injuries due to the torture they suffered - including Mahsa Amini, the women whose death sparked this revolution. I included the book by the former Shah of Iran's wife. Although the instrument is not one I recognize as an instrument that is played in Iran or native to Iran, I found it in a middle eastern magazine and thought it was beautiful and looked similar to Iranian instruments. At the bottom, I have green, red, and white ribbon which are the colors of the Iranian flag. I included a poem that I found in a magazine in an article about BLM and the killing of Black youth by police officers. Of course, this has nothing to do with Iran but I found it extremely powerful and the sentiment of feeling like no one is speaking up or cares or how there seems to be "confusion" despite how blatantly wrong something is felt relevant. I debated including this poem because I did not want to take away from its original message and purpose or to be disrespectful. I am happy to hear any feedback on this decision. Lastly, I included the cartoon of the person saying, "Am I the only one who feels weird about this?" to reflect on my feelings in the first months of this revolution. I had a lot of anger and hurt surrounding lack of reporting or misrepresentation of this revolution in the media and the lack of public knowledge that this was even going on. This all made me feel extremely isolated.

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Three major takeaways from this session with Dr. Sullivan:
- Do not be afraid to ask questions - I took this as I could either ask questions and risk being wrong or miss opportunities to learn and grow. This is a reminder I really needed.
- The importance of being aware of my privilege as a white queer person - "white people are born into safety" vs people of color never being born into safety
- None of us are at fault for the systems you were born into, its intentional

I am walking away with a lot of snippets of history to deep dive into on my own and I am really appreciative of the introduction in and invitation to further explore those.

Dr. Sullivan's comment on immigrants or first and second generation Americans voting conservative  in order to be in proximity to power (power being whiteness) really helped me to better understand this dynamic which I see a lot in my own community.