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Mariam Khan, the main character. At the start of the book, she is 14-15 years old, they describe her as a beautiful woman with dark hair and skin who who has a “long” face, sometimes wears a burqa and sometimes a hijab.

This image was ai generated based on how Mariam was described at the start of the novel.

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She is the illegitimate daughter of Jalil Khan, a wealthy businessman, and Nana, a housemaid who worked for Jalil's Family.

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The relationship between Mariam and Jalil is not perfect. here's why!

Idealized but distant: As a child Mariam idolizes Jalil but he keeps his distance from her

Betrayal and Heartbreaking: Mariam’s trust in Jalil is broken when he refuses to let her into his house during her visit to Herat, this makes her realize the limits of his affections and the shame he feels about her.

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A mother’s love can be both a comfort and a wound, Mariam and Nana's relationship is similar to this, here's why!

Emotionally abusing yet loving: Nana says things that hurt Mariam’s feelings, but she still loves her deeply.

Their relationship is so fraught that Nana shames Mariam even before she is fully brought into the world.

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Nana’s harsh words make Mariam feel ashamed of herself, and Jalil’s rejection breaks her heart. These relationships make Mariam feel she is not worthy of love and happiness, which leads her to accept mistreatment later in her life.

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How do Mariam's childhood experiences affect her older life's decisions?

When Mariam was at an early age, being called a harami and being rejected by his father made her think she was not worthy enough to deserve love. This causes her to accept mistreatments from people, like her forced marriage with Rasheed, because she feels she has no other options.

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Mariam struggles with feeling unworthy and guilty because of how she was treated as a child. She has a hard time trusting people and sometimes accepts abuse because she doesn’t believe she deserves better. These struggles shape her choices, leading to moments of pain and also moments of incredible bravery.

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How do societal norms and expectations impact Mariam’s life?

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How do societal norms and expectations impact Mariam’s life?

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Societal norms in Mariam’s world trap her in a life full of shame and control from other people. As a harami, she is treated as less important, and being a woman makes people expect that she has to obey men, do labor in the house, and have children. These “rules” make Mariam feel powerless and lead to her suffering.

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Mariam is resilient, compassionate, and brave. She faces a life full of challenges but keeps going no matter what. Even after years of abuse, she finds the strength to push forward, showing an incredible capacity for healing and growth.

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Her Birth. Ever since she is born Mariam is constantly told that she is harami, she is treated as less important, making Mariam feel powerless and unworthy of love.

Nana's suicide: On her 15th birthday, Mariam tries to visit Jalil in Herat despite nana begging her not to leave her, but Jalil more or less refuses to see her, leaving her devastated. She sleeps outside his house, hoping that Jalil will let her in, and when she gives up she returns home and find that her mother has committed suicide.

Forced Marriage: Jalil and his wives arrange for Mariam to marry Rasheed after Nana´s death so they dont have to care for her. Rasheed is a much older shoemaker from Kabul. She moves to Kabul with him, where her life becomes increasingly oppressive and does not any longer have contact with Jalil.

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Mariam begins her live as, an isolated child who believes she is unworthy of love because she is harami. She wants her father’s affection, but his "rejection" and her mother’s suicide force her to grow into an adult. Just the fact alone of rebelling and escaping to see Jalil shows she developed and her wanting to cut off all contact with Jalil after he abandoned her shows she matured and learnt to stop being so naive. Yet, even in these early years, her resilience begins to show as she endures her difficult circumstances.