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Why it's important

Young babies have immature immune systems. Even infections that are considered 'mild' in older children and adults can be life-threatening for babies.

What we're doing

Alongside our Campaign Ambassador, the UK's No 1 children's cookery author Annabel Karmel MBE, we're encouraging all visitors to follow the THANKS guidance:

Think Hands And No Kisse S

Press enquiries

Phone: 020 7802 3202 (out of hours  0786 0178 605)

Email: communications@lullabytrust.org.uk
Read the press release

Annabel Karmel on infection prevention

lost her daughter, Natasha, at three months old. Natasha died after contracting the

Annabel has teamed up with The Lullaby Trust to help us raise awareness on this vital issue. Watch this video to hear more of Annabel and Natasha's story and what can be done to prevent infection in those first few months of life.
Content note: this video is about baby loss.

We have created a new page for parents, covering this vital information in more detail.
Visit the infection prevention page

New animation

A simple explanation for families to share, showing how everyone can help keep babies safe from infections.

We can all help to keep babies safe by following THANKS: Think Hands And No KisseS.

A list of signs and symptoms that might mean a baby has an infection.

The key information that may give a health professional clues as to why a baby is unwell.

Our new THANKS buggy tags are available to purchase in the shop. They attach to your buggy, reminding people to think twice about touching your baby while you're out and about, particularly if they haven't washed their hands.

Buy now

We have summarised the campaign in a handy sheet to be inserted in every newborn's red book.

Download now

Beth and Joshua's story

Annabel Karmel interviews Beth, a fellow parent who lost her baby, Joshua, to an infection.

In the video, Beth explains how, even after losing Joshua, she felt anxious about asking visitors to respect her boundaries when her second child, Rory, came along because it's such a difficult thing to do. However, we know that i f all visitors committed to washing their hands and not giving kisses in those early months, more babies' lives would be saved .
Content note: this video is about baby loss.

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Newborn Infection Prevention Campaign - The Lullaby Trust

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We use cookies to give you the best possible online experience. If you continue, we will assume you are happy for your web browser to receive all cookies from our website. Accept Why it's important Young babies have immature immune systems. Even infections that are considered 'mild' in older children and adults can be life-threatening for babies.

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Preparing for labour and birth with a stillborn baby

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Preparing for labour and birth with a stillborn baby

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Preparing for labour and birth with a stillborn baby | Tommy's (tommys.org)

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How we offer support | Sands - Stillbirth and neonatal death charity

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Monitoring your Baby's Movements during Pregnancy

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Monitoring your Baby's Movements during Pregnancy

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Leaflet and banner: Feeling your baby move is a sign that they are well | Tommy's (tommys.org)

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Pride and Joy: A guide for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents

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Pride and Joy: A guide for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents

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Sarah and Rachel Hagger-Holt

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Pride and Joy: A guide for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents

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Pinter & Martin is an independent publishing company specialising in pregnancy, birth, parenting, breastfeeding, yoga and psychology books

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NCT

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Breech babies: what you need to know | Labour & birth, Different types of birth articles & support | NCT

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Wondering what happens if your baby’s facing bottom up during pregnancy? Here are some of your questions answered.

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NCT

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Knowing what to expect and understanding why your doctor or midwife might recommend an assisted birth can help you feel more confident about the process. It's especially good to know about this just in case you have a long, challenging labour, or if concerns about the baby crop up. Read on to find out more.

What is an assisted birth?

An assisted or instrumental birth is when ventouse or forceps are used in the later stages of labour to help a baby to be born.

"About one in eight babies in the UK are born with the help of these instruments." (RCOG, 2012, 2016; NHS, 2017)

You're more likely to need an assisted birth if you're giving birth vaginally for the first time.

What are ventouse and forceps?

A ventouse is a cup-shaped suction device that can be attached to your baby's head to help them to be born. You might have heard it called a vacuum delivery (NHS, 2017).

Forceps are smooth, curved metal instruments that look like large tongs. They're placed around the baby's head to help pull the baby out.

Why might I need help with the birth of my baby?

Sometimes, when the second stage of labour is very long, an assisted birth is suggested because:

the baby needs a little help to move out of the birth canal, particularly if they are lying in the back-to-back position

there are concerns about you or your baby

you are exhausted

you are unable to push, perhaps after an epidural, or because you have a condition that prevents you from doing so.

(RCOG, 2012; NICE, 2014; NHS, 2017)

What are my other options?

If your doctor thinks an assisted birth is possible but could be difficult, you would be moved to an operating theatre in case you need a caesarean section (NICE, 2014). Usually, you'd be offered an assisted birth first because if it works this can help your baby out quicker than a caesarean. This is important if the baby is in trouble.

As with any medical intervention being offered, you can say 'no' to an assisted birth. Your doctor or midwife should first discuss why you need an assisted birth and their choice of instrument and gain your consent (RCOG, 2012). A caesarean birth involves major surgery, which carries risks and takes longer.

If the ventouse or forceps do not help your baby out, you will need a caesarean.

What happens during a forceps or ventouse assisted birth?

The midwife or obstetrician will examine you. If there are concerns about you or your baby's health, you might need an emergency caesarean and be moved to an operating theatre. This way, if the forceps or ventouse is unsuccessful, a caesarean birth can happen soon after. For example, if the baby's head needs to be turned, forceps or ventouse might not help so easily.

If you haven't already had an epidural, you will be offered one, or a single spinal injection or local anaesthetic to numb the area around the vagina (RCOG, 2012). You'll lay on your back and have your feet in stirrups. Your bladder will be emptied using a catheter.

You might have a cut (episiotomy) made at this point to make your vaginal opening bigger (RCOG, 2012; NICE, 2014). This isn't routine but might be necessary (NHS, 2017). You're less likely to experience vaginal tearing with ventouse than with forceps (RCOG, 2012).

In a ventouse delivery, the obstetrician or specially-trained midwife will attach a suction cup to your baby's head. They'll then gently pull when you have a contraction, to help your baby out. They might need to pull more than once (RCOG, 2012).

A ventouse is not suitable if you are less than 34 weeks pregnant. This is because the baby's head is softer thus increasing the risk of your baby getting bruised, or having a brain haemorrhage or jaundice (RCOG, 2012).

If you have a forceps delivery, the doctor or midwife would gently place them around your baby's head. Then on the next contraction you will be asked to push as your baby is carefully pulled. You'd normally need an episiotomy first (RCOG, 2012).

Ventouse or forceps delivery?

Ventouse and forceps are both safe and effective. If you do need assistance, your doctor would choose the most suitable instrument for you, your baby and your situation. Forceps are more successful in assisting the birth than ventouse. Yet ventouse is less likely to cause vaginal tearing (NHS, 2017).

Can I avoid an assisted birth?

An assisted birth can't always be avoided but you can reduce the risk. Here's how:

If your pregnancy has been straightforward, try planning to give birth in a birth centre or at home. That means you are less likely to need forceps, ventouse or any other interventions.

Continuous support from a birth partner other than your midwife can make a positive difference.

Remain upright or on your sides and mobile to give you and your baby the best chance of a spontaneous birth.

Avoid an epidural if possible, or if you do have an epidural, wait for a while after your cervix is fully dilated before beginning to push.

(Hodnett et al, 2010; Hollowell et al, 2011; RCOG, 2012; Hodnett et al, 2013; NCCWCH, 2014)

What can birth partners do?

It might be helpful to think about the support you can give your partner if she need forceps or ventouse assistance. This could mean offering reassurance if this is a change to your birth plan, or simply holding her hand during the birth (RCM, 2012).

Some partners have said they found it difficult watching forceps or ventouse being used. So consider where you might want to stand during the birth.

It's also a good idea to discuss birth scenarios in advance so you're clear on whether your partner would prefer you to stay with her or go with the baby if needed. For example, you could provide skin-to-skin care for the baby if your partner isn't able to.

What are the effects of a forceps or ventouse delivery on babies?

Some parents-to-be worry their baby may be harmed during an assisted birth. But any effects are likely to be short term, resolving within 24 to 48 hours (RCOG, 2012).

Forceps can cause bruising, marks or cuts on a baby's head, while a ventouse may temporarily affect the shape of a baby's head (RCOG, 2012). The suction cup used for ventouse delivery might also mark a baby's head or cause a bruise that disappears in time (NHS, 2017). Small cuts on a baby's face and head may occur but generally fade quickly (RCOG, 2012).

If you are worried about any after-effects, talk to your health visitor or GP.

How will I be affected?

It's normal to feel bruised and sore after birth, particularly if you had an assisted birth.

Help and support is available, so do seek medical advice if you experience any difficulties or complications. Your midwife or GP can talk through your options with you.

As you're more likely to have an episiotomy during an assisted birth, stitches and swelling or tearing may make going to the toilet painful (RCOG, 2015). You'll probably need to up your intake of fibre (RCOG, 2015). You could also take a stool softener to make it easier to open your bowels. See our article about episiotomy care and recovery for more details.

Four in 100 women who have a ventouse birth will have a third or fourth degree tear (into the tissue surrounding the anus). That compares with eight to 12 women in 100 who have a forceps birth will have a third or fourth degree tear (RCOG, 2012).

Third or fourth degree tears would need to be repaired in an operating theatre and it is normal to feel pain for two or three weeks afterwards (RCOG, 2015). You'll be offered pain-relief and a course of antibiotics after the operation, and will need to keep the area clean (RCOG, 2015). See our article about perineal tears for more details.

Most women will recover from an assisted birth within a few weeks. But some might experience complications, such as severe vaginal tearing, blood clots and urinary or anal incontinence (RCOG, 2012). If you have any medical concerns talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP.

How will I feel?

Sometimes, an assisted birth can leave new parents feeling as if the situation was taken out of their hands. Difficult birth experiences like an assisted birth can affect women's psychological health with around one third of women in the western world evaluating their childbirth experience as traumatic (Ayers et al, 2006).

If this is how you feel, it can help to chat to the doctor or midwife before you leave hospital. You could ask about what happened and why it was necessary (RCOG, 2012).

Some women and their partners might also want to talk about the emotional impact after they have gone home (RCOG, 2012). If you did an NCT antenatal course, you could get in touch with your antenatal teacher to talk this through.

Most hospitals have a 'birth reflections' service. This service gives you the chance to discuss the events with a midwife and resolve unanswered questions (Ayers et al, 2006).

Will I need an assisted birth if I have another baby?

It's unlikely you will need an assisted birth with subsequent babies. Most women (80%) who have an assisted vaginal birth give birth spontaneously next time around (RCOG, 2012).

This page was last reviewed in September 2018.

Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about birth, labour and life with a new baby.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

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Assisted birth: ventouse or forceps delivery | Labour & birth, Different types of birth articles & support | NCT

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Some births need a little help. Here we explain what an assisted birth is, why ventouse or forceps might be needed, what happens and how you might feel.

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NCT

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Ten things I wish every woman knew about the induction of labour

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Ten things I wish every woman knew about the induction of labour

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Sara Wickham

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Choices when pregnancy reaches 41 weeks 

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Choices when pregnancy reaches 41 weeks 

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NHS &  National Institute for Health Research

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NHS Decision making tool

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NICE

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This guideline covers how to make shared decision making part of everyday care in all healthcare settings. It promotes ways for healthcare professionals and people using services to work together to make decisions about treatment and care. It includes recommendations on training, communicating risks, benefits and consequences, using decision aids, and how to embed shared decision making in organisational culture and practices.

The guideline does not cover unexpected emergencies in which immediate life-saving care is needed. It also does not cover situations when, at the time a decision needs to be made, an adult does not have mental capacity to make a decision about their healthcare. For more information, see the NICE guideline on decision-making and mental capacity.

Recommendations

This guideline includes recommendations on:

Who is it for?

Everybody who delivers healthcare services

Commissioners of health and public health services

Adults (aged 18 and over) using healthcare services, their families, carers and advocates, and the public

It may also be relevant for:

Social care practitioners

Voluntary, community and social enterprise organisations

People who use social care services

Guideline development process
How we develop NICE guidelines
This guideline updates and replaces recommendations on shared decision making in NICE's guideline on patient experience in adult NHS services: improving the experience of care for people using adult NHS services (CG138, February 2012).

Your responsibility

The recommendations in this guideline represent the view of NICE, arrived at after careful consideration of the evidence available. When exercising their judgement, professionals and practitioners are expected to take this guideline fully into account, alongside the individual needs, preferences and values of their patients or the people using their service. It is not mandatory to apply the recommendations, and the guideline does not override the responsibility to make decisions appropriate to the circumstances of the individual, in consultation with them and their families and carers or guardian.

All problems (adverse events) related to a medicine or medical device used for treatment or in a procedure should be reported to the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency using the Yellow Card Scheme.

Local commissioners and providers of healthcare have a responsibility to enable the guideline to be applied when individual professionals and people using services wish to use it. They should do so in the context of local and national priorities for funding and developing services, and in light of their duties to have due regard to the need to eliminate unlawful discrimination, to advance equality of opportunity and to reduce health inequalities. Nothing in this guideline should be interpreted in a way that would be inconsistent with complying with those duties.

Commissioners and providers have a responsibility to promote an environmentally sustainable health and care system and should assess and reduce the environmental impact of implementing NICE recommendations wherever possible.

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This guideline covers how to make shared decision making part of everyday care in all healthcare settings. It promotes ways for healthcare professionals and

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birthrights.org.uk

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Understanding how risk is discussed in healthcare

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Understanding how risk is discussed in healthcare

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Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists

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The information here aims to help you better understand your health and your options for treatment and care. Your healthcare team is there to support you in making decisions that are right for you. They can help by discussing your situation with you and answering your questions.

Risk is the chance that any activity or action could happen and harm you. Almost everything we do has an associated risk. Living is a risky business. People will generally take risks if they feel that there is an advantage or benefit. We need to look at risks and benefits together. Normally the benefits of an action should outweigh the risks. There is no such thing as a zero risk. How you view risk depends to a large extent on your own circumstances and 'comfort zone'.

This information will help you understand how your healthcare professionals will discuss risk with you in relation to your health care and medical treatment.

This information covers:

why you need to know about risk

how risk is discussed

how risk is presented in everyday life

the best ways for risk to be explained

Understanding risk

Sometimes research evidence may not be clear about a particular risk or benefit. This is why you may receive different information from different healthcare professionals. It may be because of the situation in which your healthcare professional is working, their own personal experience, your personal situation or because the true risk is not known. Uncertainty exists.

Understanding risk can be difficult but it is helpful when you work in partnership with your healthcare professional.

Reference

Calman KC, Royston G. Personal paper: Risk language and dialects. British Medical Journal 1997;315:939-42.

When you are considering having a procedure, intervention or screening test for yourself or someone else, you need to know about the benefits and risks or any uncertainties to help you to make an informed decision.

How you view a risk depends on one or more of the following:

the chance of the event occurring (frequency)

the chance of a condition being detected by a screening test (detection rate)

the benefits of the treatment or screening

how much harm may be caused:

if it is life-threatening

if it is short-term (temporary) or long-term (permanent)

how much you feel in control of the decision

how much you trust the person discussing the risk with you

whether you feel you understand the situation sufficiently.

Some of these factors will be more important to you than others.

Healthcare professionals use research evidence to describe the chance of an event occurring in the context of an entire population. So your healthcare professional can tell you one woman in nine (1 in 9) will develop breast cancer. What they cannot tell you is whether the 'one' woman who develops breast cancer will be you.

If you have a screening test for a particular condition or disease, the results tell you if you are at 'high risk' or 'low risk' for that condition or disease. For example, if you are pregnant you will be routinely offered a screening test for Down syndrome. The results of this test will show if your unborn baby has a 'high risk' or a 'low risk' of having Down syndrome. A high-risk result does not mean that your unborn baby definitely has Down syndrome. It means that the risk of Down syndrome is more than 1 in 250 (of 250 pregnant women, more than one woman has an unborn baby with Down syndrome). In this situation, you would be offered a further test to find out if your unborn baby is one of the babies with Down syndrome.

Even if you have a low-risk result, there is a chance that your unborn baby may have Down syndrome but it may be helpful to know that the chance is small.

Risk can be given as numbers or words, or both. This table below shows how risk should be described in healthcare:

People's views of the descriptions of 'very rare' or 'common' regarding harm or satisfaction vary greatly concerning health care. Your concerns, anxieties and fears about the present and the future are very personal and may affect how you view risk. Some people find it is more useful to discuss risk using numbers or pictures rather than words.

Health risks are talked about every day - sometimes well, sometimes poorly.

Often it can be difficult to sort out the real facts of a matter. Take, for example, the confusion over the 1995 'pill scare'. Scientists reported that some oral contraceptives doubled the risk of thromboembolism (a blood clot) compared with other oral contraceptives. To say that something 'doubles' sounds a huge amount. What the initial report did not mention, however, was that the risks were only 1 in 6000 to start with - which is 'rare'. The new risk - 1 in 3000 (or 2 in 6000) - is still rare. In addition, the increased risk of death was only about one person in a million. The risk had not been put into context and a result there was panic in the media and among the public.

Sometimes percentages are used when the overall numbers are very small indeed. It is very important that the facts are explained in a meaningful way.

Good communication between you and your healthcare professional promotes a trusting relationship and brings greater satisfaction to you both. It also helps you to take more responsibility for decisions about your own health care.

When explaining risk healthcare professionals should:

involve you fully

give you the opportunity to have someone with you (such as a friend, partner or relative)

know and understand your circumstances and how this could affect you personally

describe the risk in different ways; for example, 'your risk of breast cancer is 1 in 9 or your chance of never getting breast cancer is 8 in 9'

give you correct and up-to-date information

give you information that is relevant to you

be honest, frank and open

speak clearly

have empathy

listen to your concerns

give you an opportunity to ask questions

give you time

provide sources of information such as leaflets or websites

check that you have fully understood

. . . and on your part, you should:

say if you don't understand

ask if you want information presented in a different way

say if you need more time.

Your healthcare professional may explain the information in a number of different ways, such as pictures, graphs and other tools to help you make a decision. These help to ensure a better understanding.

Sources and acknowledgements

This information has been developed by the RCOG Patient Information Committee. It is based on the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) Clinical Governance Advice No. 7, Presenting Information on Risk (December 2008). The clinical governance advice contains a full list of the sources of evidence we have used. You can find this online here.

This leaflet was reviewed before publication by women attending clinics in in Newcastle-upon-Tyne and Surrey and by the RCOG Women's Network.

This patient information leaflet is based on the RCOG's Clinical Governance Advice Presenting Information on Risk, which contains a full list of the sources of evidence used to produce this guidance.

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Understanding how risk is discussed in health care

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The information here aims to help you better understand your health and your options for treatment and care. Your healthcare team is there to support you in making decisions that are right for you. They can help by discussing your situation with you and answering your questions.

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BBC Tiny Happy People Dad guide to good mental health

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BBC Tiny Happy People Dad guide to good mental health

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/dad-baby-bonding-tips/z49kscw

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East London Sling Library (myturn.com)

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BBC Tiny Happy People

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Can you sort the myths from the truths when it comes to child development? Find out in this fun quiz.

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iHV

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People often say they wish their baby had come with an instruction manual but it's worth taking time, just a few minutes when you can, to watch closely and gradually become familiar with what your baby is like.

Getting to know their sleep and wake states will help you - download "Baby Watching: Making sense of your baby" to find out more and watch the videos below from the Association for Infant Mental Health UK.

These videos on Baby States, and other videos on getting to know your baby, are freely available from the Association for Infant Mental Health UK.

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People often say they wish their baby had come with an instruction manual but it's worth taking time, just a few minutes when you can, to watch closely and gradually become familiar with what your baby is like.

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Bonding with a new baby: 25 easy ways to get to know your baby and bond each day

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Bonding with a new baby: 25 easy ways to get to know your baby and bond each day

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BBC Tiny Happy People

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You might not realise it but the small, everyday activities you do in the early days with your baby are hugely beneficial for their development and can strengthen your bond with one another.
Each time you interact and they respond, maybe with a gurgle, babble and wiggle, you're helping their language and communication skills and their physical development too.

And you benefit too, says Inge Nickell, Director of the Brazelton Centre UK, a national charity promoting an understanding of newborn babies' communication.

"These interactions give you a window into their unique ways of communicating and help you identify their different behaviours," Inge explains.

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Bonding with a new baby: 25 easy ways to get to know your baby and bond each day

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You might not realise it but the small, everyday activities you do in the early days with your baby are hugely beneficial for their development and can strengthen your bond with one another. Each time you interact and they respond, maybe with a gurgle, babble and wiggle, you're helping their language and communication skills and their physical development too.

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Baby Watching - making sense of your baby

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Baby Watching - making sense of your baby

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iHV leaflet

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Validate your membership/access to the iHV Champion hub here to receive your password. Not a member? Join here. Upcoming Training and Events Use the arrows to scroll through upcoming events Featured Online Resources The iHV is closely following the advice and reports of the UK Government - and share some of the latest Government guidance here: We always seek to ensure our activities and publications comply with the UNICEF BFI - and do not take sponsorship from formula milk industry.

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How babies first learn about the world through conversation

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How babies first learn about the world through conversation

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BBC Tiny Happy People

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How babies first learn about the world through conversation

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Babies develop through talking and interacting with other people. Find out more about how they learn through conversation in this animation.

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Safety information

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What is a sling, wrap or carrier?

A sling, wrap or carrier is what you use to carry your child on your body, it's commonly called babywearing. It's not a new phenomenon and has been practised for centuries in different cultures. We'll use the terms sling, wrap and carrier interchangeably in the rest of this article.

There are lots of types of slings so it's worth finding out about the different styles, and even trying a few before you buy one. Read our article Which baby carrier, wrap or sling is best for me? to find out more.

Are there are any benefits to using a sling?

Many parents say it's practical, whatever your lifestyle. Try tidying up or getting lunch ready for your toddler with your newborn in a baby carrier or baby sling. You'll probably see what they mean.

Slings help with transportation but they can also help parents and babies to bond and stay active while navigating the changes of new parenthood (Whittle, 2019; Williams and Turner, 2020). Younger parents' relationships with their baby have benefited from babywearing (Williams and Turner, 2020). Parents of multiple babies may find it easier to manage if one baby is held in a sling, and some use a sling for each baby. Parents who are wheelchair users or have limited arm capacity may find it an accessible way to transport or bond with their baby. It can also be an opportunity for fathers and co-parents to share closeness and nurture their babies (Whittle, 2021).

Research has found that parents who carry their babies tend to be more responsive to their babies as they are in close contact. This promotes bonding and interactions that improve their baby's speech, social and emotional development (Anisfeld et al, 1990; Williams and Turner, 2019; Norholt, 2020). Some studies suggest that for mothers, it can have positive mental health benefits, lowering stress and promoting breastfeeding (Norholt, 2020).

What are the risks of using slings?

Unfortunately, some babies have been injured and even died in unsafe baby slings and carriers, although this is very rare. Non-fatal injuries were mainly caused by dropping or the adult falling, while deaths were caused by positional asphyxiation (Batra et al, 2015; Rowe et al, 2022). (Positional asphyxiation is where the baby's body position blocks their breathing and they suffocate if this goes unnoticed.) These risks have led to tighter safety standards for slings and carriers to keep babies safe.

If your baby was born with a low birth weight or has a medical condition, please discuss the safe use of a carrier or sling with a health professional. Remember to be aware of your child and check them regularly, especially if your baby is under four months old.

How can I keep my baby safe in their sling, wrap or carrier?

When it comes to using slings, it's very important to make sure you're following a few simple guidelines. You'll need to check the manufacturer's instructions, following their advice for whether the size, weight and age of your baby is right for the sling.

Before you use the sling or carrier, check for signs of wear and tear. Don't use it if you have any concerns. The safest type of sling or carrier keeps the baby solidly against the parent's body in an upright position and distributes the child's weight evenly across the wearers shoulders hips and back (ROSPA, 2022).

When your baby is in the wrap, check them often, making sure nothing is blocking their nose and mouth. Also make sure you read and follow the UK Sling Consortium's TICKS checklist:

(UK Sling Consortium, 2015)

Baby positions for slings and carriers

A recommended position is known as the spread squat, jockey position or M-position. The spread squat is where the baby is facing their adult and has their thighs spread around the wearer's torso. The baby also has their hips bent so their knees are slightly higher than their buttocks, or at buttock level with the thighs supported.

This practice is beneficial for at least the first 6 months for correct hip development, and also encourages social development as they are facing their caregiver. It is particularly important if a baby is being held in a sling for long periods of time (International Hip Dysplasia Institute, 2022). Read more about hip dysplasia (hips growing abnormally) in our article about it.

Can I breastfeed in a sling?

Using a sling while breastfeeding is associated with a longer duration of breastfeeding, due to convenience and the increased responsiveness that comes with keeping a baby close throughout the day (Pisacane et al, 2012; Little, 2019). It's important to know how to do it safely though. Do make sure you check the manufacturer's instructions as some suggest you don't breastfeed in their slings. Here are our tips:

1. Most people will stop and settle so they breastfeed while stationary. However, if you are feeding on the go then keep an eye out for trip hazards.

2. Check your baby can breathe easily. A healthy baby will never compromise their own ability to breath, but a poorly one may struggle.

3. Support your baby at all times.

4. You can breastfeed vertically or in a more laidback position. While you will still have to use your hands, the sling can give you more freedom to move. It also frees up one hand to help you get your latch sorted.

5. After feeding, ensure your baby is facing up and their head is clear of the sling and your body.
This page was last reviewed in June 2022.
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700.

You might find attending one of our Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

For more information on the slings available, find your nearest NCT sling library. Our sling libraries have a wide variety of slings and carriers to try and hire so you can find which one works best for you.

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Everything you need to know about slings and carriers | Baby & toddler articles & support | NCT

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A sling, wrap or carrier is what you use to carry your child on your body, it's commonly called babywearing. It's not a new phenomenon and has been practised for centuries in different cultures. We'll use the terms sling, wrap and carrier interchangeably in the rest of this article.

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The Parent Manual: Feeling included as a new dad

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Three doesn't have to be a crowd - there are ways of getting involved as much as possible as a dad and not feeling left out.

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Services and support for parents - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

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Why being a dad is totally worth it - BBC Tiny Happy People

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Article-What it feel like to be same sex parents

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Article-What it feel like to be same sex parents

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At first I thought I'd misheard, but when the health worker at the baby clinic handed me back my daughter after weighing her she unequivocally said again, 'Go to Daddy.' 'Daddy'! I had actually bothered to do my make-up that day, and was wearing hoop earrings (albeit with a Ralph Lauren shirt and chinos), surely she wasn't seriously mistaking me for a man? 'Is Daddy going to bring you back next week?' she asked my four-week-old, Ettie, who she also kept referring to as 'he', possibly on account of her blue babygrow.

My wife Jen and I looked at each other with eyebrows raised, Ettie spewed a little bit of milk from the corner of her mouth in protest, but none of us bothered to correct her. Some people see what they expect to see; just like a baby in blue must be a boy, a baby must have a mum and a dad - entertaining any other possibility (even when it's wearing lip gloss and staring you in the face) is an intellectual leap too far for some.

The thing is, this health worker was ignorant but meant well and, often, as same-sex parents, it's just easier to let such profound misunderstandings slide. But then there are the situations I'm unwilling to write off. One of those came when I informed the HR department at work my wife was having a baby and I was given the paternity leave policy, which referred throughout to men and fathers. I work for a multi-national communications agency, an organisation that needed to do better.

That no one thought to change the language of this policy before presenting it as relevant to me as a woman made me feel angry and indignant that I was expected to conform to a heterosexual family paradigm. So I promptly made my feelings known to anyone who'd listen, including my CEO, and I couldn't have asked for a better reaction. We changed every mention of 'father' in the policy to 'parent' and every mention of 'men' to 'people'.

But amending words is easy; what's harder will be changing the policies themselves. As non-traditional families become more common, I hope every business will look at their parental leave offerings. (At the moment 'legally' the 'Other Mother' is entitled to the equivalent of paternity leave or of course co-parental leave. There are no concessions made based on the gender of the parents.) The challenge will be reconciling equality and difference, because there are nuances to surrogacy, egg sharing and other such parenting arrangements that need to be considered. This is an opportunity to discuss workplace diversity as a real lived experience not a buzz word.

So much of the literature around parenting assumes heterosexuality and maybe it's unrealistic of me to expect anything else. The app I used to track our pregnancy and find out what item of fruit our foetus was as big as each week was a celebration of the most pink/blue kind of heterosexuality imaginable. It was aimed at mothers but included offensively basic advice for dads too, such as 'your wife may be more tired than usual so offer to cook dinner'. I also learned how to throw a man-friendly baby shower: 'Go easy on the pink and realise that most men don't find jelly beans in a baby bottle all that adorable'. What killjoys! The more I learned about 'men' from this app, the happier I was not to be having a baby with one.

We arrived at our first NCT class expecting the same levels of banal binary straightness. Imagine our surprise, then, to find another lesbian couple in attendance. At first I thought they were probably just good friends, but it quickly became clear we weren't the only gays in Blackheath Village. Since having Ettie I've realised there's a great network of same-sex parents in London, and even in my local area. Recently, I met gay dads and their baby in the nappy aisle of a local Sainsbury's. We swapped numbers and arranged a coffee date and it's been so interesting to share our journeys to parenthood.

Not being 'special' at the NCT class was strange. I had only just perfected my patient but unapologetic tone when describing our experience of finding an anonymous sperm donor at a Danish sperm bank (it's a bigger database than the UK equivalent) and using Intrauterine insemination at a Harley Street clinic - a simple procedure that joyfully worked first time. I was almost offended that no one asked for any such details. Not once did the NCT tutor talk about 'fathers or husbands', she always said 'parent or partner' in a way that felt natural (unlike our hypnobirthing instructor, who kept getting in a muddle as she attempted to include Jen and me when talking about a 'man's special role' during labour).

After our final NCT class, two What'sApp groups were set up, one for the mums, the other for 'partners'. I was given the option to sign up to either but chose 'partners', ready for some bantz with the ladz and the other 'other mother'. Alas, the messages extended to perfunctory birth announcements and a mix of thumbs up and clapping hand emojis in response. So, I joined the mums group instead - they swapped tips, asked questions, offered support. It was much more what I needed while I was on parental leave and was happy they welcomed me into the coven.

We decided that Jen would 'go first' based on our work situations. She had just gone freelance as a travel writer and I had just accepted a new job in advertising. The plan is for me to have our next child and I'm really conscious of what a unique perspective this will give me. Yes, I'm a mum already. Actually, I'm Mama and Jen is Mummy, at least until Ettie is old enough to decide for herself what to call us (what if she designates me Dada after all!), but my relationship with my daughter isn't the same as Jen's. I feel absolutely that she's my child, her not sharing my genes has nothing to do with how much I love her, but mine and Jen's roles are different in the ways a mother's and father's roles are.

I'm carrying the car seat, assembling the pram, doing more of the heavy lifting, because Jen is still recovering from labour and often has a baby latched on her breast. Plus, now I'm back at work and she's on unpaid maternity leave, I'm paying for more and Jen is cooking more. But these things are all circumstantial and not because I'm mirroring some outdated gender stereotype. The real difference is that Jen carried our baby for nine months, she breastfeeds her every hour of the day, there's a physical, biological connection there that doesn't belong to me, and that's OK. I'm lucky that I might experience this in a few years. I wonder, given the chance, how many men would think the same.

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What It Feels Like To Be Same Sex Parents

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At first I thought I'd misheard, but when the health worker at the baby clinic handed me back my daughter after weighing her she unequivocally said again, 'Go to Daddy.' 'Daddy'! I had actually bothered to do my make-up that day, and was wearing hoop earrings (albeit with a Ralph Lauren shirt and chinos), surely she wasn't seriously mistaking me for a man?

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What issues do lesbian co-mothers face in their transition to parenthood

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What issues do lesbian co-mothers face in their transition to parenthood

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Tommy's Keeping your baby healthy - Sleep on side

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Tommy's Keeping your baby healthy - Sleep on side

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https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/sleep-side-pregnancy-campaign

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https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-series
Coping with grief
https://youtu.be/5xGwWGzdGaQ

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https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/health-professionals/free-pregnancy-resources/e-cigarettes-pregnancy#

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https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/health-professionals/free-pregnancy-resources/your-guide-healthy-diet-pregnancy

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https://www.rcm.org.uk/clinical-advice-during-the-crisis/?fbclid=IwAR0Jq1PHVJpqv4_dp9VhPziKoeZzyKy71CLLJVtwUjY9hLYv0PmRwFmPiw8

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https://www.tommys.org/sites/default/files/wellbeing%20plan%202016.pdf

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https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/same-sex-parents/two-mum-families-becoming-mummy-and-mama

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https://www.rcog.org.uk/en/guidelines-research-services/guidelines/coronavirus-pregnancy/covid-19-virus-infection-and-pregnancy/

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Waltham Forest talking therapies-Its OK to ask for help

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Waltham Forest talking therapies-Its OK to ask for help

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http://wftalkingtherapies.co.uk/

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Safety information

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Practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers.

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is a holistic lesbian and gay centre that offers a range of social, emotional and support services to LGBT communities, and our core services include counselling and young people’s services. We can also offer training and consultancy for fellow professionals and those seeking to enhance their understanding of issues facing LGBTcommunities. Telephone:   020 8509 3898   Email:   info@elop.org 56-60 Grove Road E17 9BN

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Tamba -safer sleeping for Twins and multiples

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Tamba -safer sleeping for Twins and multiples

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https://www.tamba.org.uk/document.doc?id=810

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https://www.basisonline.org.uk/twins

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Rights for Women Children and the Law: a guide for Lesbian Parents

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Rights for Women Children and the Law: a guide for Lesbian Parents

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https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/lesbian-parenting-and-the-law/#Birth%20mother

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Children and the Law: a guide for Lesbian parents

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Children and the Law: a guide for Lesbian parents

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https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/

# data[].attributes.headline
Children and the law: a guide to lesbian parenting

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Children and the law: a guide to lesbian parenting

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https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/lesbian-parenting-and-the-law/

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Pink Parents: Gay and Lesbian parenting issues

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Pink Parents: Gay and Lesbian parenting issues

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https://www.pinkparents.org.uk/

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http://www.understandingchildhood.net/posts/fathers/

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How To Calm A Crying Baby - Dr. Robert Hamilton Demonstrates "The Hold" (Official)

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To reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) the safest place for a baby to sleep is in their own clear, flat, separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. However, we know that many parents find themselves co-sleeping whether they mean to or not. Wherever you're planning for your baby to sleep we recommend making your bed a safer place for baby. Our advice on co-sleeping with your baby will tell you how.

When not to co-sleep

Whether you choose to co-sleep or it is unplanned, there are some key risks you should avoid.
Co-sleeping with your baby is very dangerous if:
In these scenarios, it is always best to put baby in their own safe sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. Keeping the cot or Moses basket next to your bed might make this easier.
Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can't breathe.
Co-sleeping more safely

Keep pillows and adult bedding away from your baby or any other items that could cover their head or cause them to overheat. A high proportion of babies who die as a result of SIDS are found with their head covered by loose bedding.

Follow all The Lullaby Trust's other safer sleep advice to reduce the risk of SIDS such as sleeping baby on their back

To reduce the risk of accidents, do not bring other children or pets into bed with you.

Try to make sure or check that baby cannot be trapped, wedged or fall out of bed or get trapped between the mattress and the wall

Never leave your baby unattended in an adult bed

For more info on co-sleeping and safer sleep read our guide for parents
If you are bedsharing with your baby you should consider any risks before every sleep. It is easy for your situation to change if you are unwell or have drunk any alcohol, which means your baby will be safest in a separate sleep space such as a cot or Moses basket on that occasion.

Co-sleeping with your baby: FAQs

I am worried I might fall asleep while I breastfeed my baby at night, is this ok?

Click here to open this question

Breastfeeding reduces the chance of SIDS. If you feel you might fall asleep we would recommend you prepare the bed as described above so it is safer for baby if this happens.

Make sure you know the advice on when never to co-sleep so you know when to take particular care. It is really important that you do not accidentally fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If you think you might fall asleep on a sofa or armchair, put the baby down in a safe place to sleep.

Should I co-sleep with my baby?

Click here to open this question

The safest place for a baby is their own separate sleep space, such as a cot or Moses basket. We would just advise you to read all the information on co-sleeping and how to reduce the risks, so you can make an informed decision for you and your baby.

However, there are some circumstances where we would strongly recommend against co-sleeping such as on a sofa or armchair, if anyone in the bed smokes or has drunk alcohol or your baby was premature or a low birth weight.

Can I co-sleep with twins or multiples?

Click here to open this question

If you choose to bedshare with twins or multiples we would advise not to bedshare with more than one baby at a time due to risk of accidents associated with bedsharing with more than one baby or child.

Is it safer to co-sleep using a nest or pod than with a baby just lying on the adult bed?

Click here to open this question

No. We do not recommend that babies sleep on soft surfaces such as pods or nests. If you choose to co-sleep with your baby the safest place is a clear space on a firm flat mattress the same as we would advise with a cot.

Why do you advise against co-sleeping in certain scenarios?

Click here to open this question

It is estimated that around half of SIDS deaths occur whilst co-sleeping, and that most of these are in high risk situations. We do not know the cause of SIDS and why these deaths happen but we do know what some of the risk factors are and that removing those risks greatly lowers the chance of SIDS occurring.

For that reason we strongly advise against co-sleeping when there are risk factors such as a baby being premature or a parent having drunk alcohol.

What bedding should I use for my baby when we co-sleep?
The Lullaby Trust has worked with Public Heath England, Unicef UK Baby Friendly and Basis on two publications to support families with safer sleep advice and advice on co-sleeping more safely. We have also collaborated on a guide for health professionals to have more open and productive discussions with families about safer sleep and co-sleeping. These can be downloaded below.

Click here to open this question

Adult bedding should be kept well away from your baby along with any belts or cords from clothing. Keep adult bedding at your waist height and add an extra layer of clothing if you are cold

A baby sleeping bag is a good way of giving your baby their own bedding when bedsharing.

Baby sleeping bags should be well fitted, so the baby can't wriggle down inside. Most sleeping bags are fitted according to a baby's weight, rather than age.

You might also be interested in reading the two Unicef Baby Friendly publications, which are both endorsed by The Lullaby Trust:

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Some parents choose to share a bed (known as co-sleeping) with their babies. Read our advice on how to co-sleep more safely.

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Overcoming Breastfeeding challenges 1 & 2

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Overcoming Breastfeeding challenges 1 & 2

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https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/fbtb-overcoming-challenges https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/fbtb-overcoming-challenges-extra

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www.firststepsnutrition.org

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Flourish at Walthamstow Children and Family Centre                      Flourish is a support group for mothers to talk about how they feel as a mother, their anxieties or worries and learn to have more fun with their babies.

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Flourish at Walthamstow Children and Family Centre                      Flourish is a support group for mothers to talk about how they feel as a mother, their anxieties or worries and learn to have more fun with their babies.

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https://directory.walthamforest.gov.uk/kb5/walthamforest/directory/service.page?id=ysJ-f5X_BSg

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https://www.realnappiesforlondon.org.uk/voucher-participating-boroughs/waltham-forest/

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https://www.stonewall.org.uk/sites/default/files/A_Guide_for_Gay_Dads__1_.pdf

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https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/parenting-rights

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https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/baby-friendly-resources/breastfeeding-resources/best-beginnings-videos/

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https://www.carryingmatters.co.uk/guide-to-slings/

https://www.carryingmatters.co.uk/useful-videos/

https://www.carryingmatters.co.uk/photo-tutorials/

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http://www.northlondonslings.co.uk/enfield/

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Every day, 8am - midnight

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http://essexfamilywellbeing.co.uk/team/epping-waltham-abbey/

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http://essexfamilywellbeing.co.uk/team/loughton-buckhurst-hill/

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https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/are-complementary-therapies-safe-during-pregnancy/

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https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/postnatal-checks-and-immunisations

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https://www.nct.org.uk/labour-birth/losing-baby/stillbirth

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https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/womens-health/what-are-pelvic-floor-exercises/

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https://www.nct.org.uk/labour-birth/losing-baby/stillbirth

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https://www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/worries-and-discomforts/common-discomforts/perineal-massage