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5. I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terriblylonely.

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5. I left my home for freedom in Europe but I’m terriblylonely.

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Q: I am a 30-year-old guy and I am really lonely. I was born in Iran and was raised in a conservative family and society. I went to university there and graduated with a master’s degree in English language studies. I am now at university in Germany, but I am not able to make friends with girls. I have no proper job, no future and not even a friend. I tried online dating sites; they don’t work. What is wrong with me? I even think of ending my life. I do not have any future going back to a country which does not accept me when I do not believe in Islam.

Written by Cristhian Urueña

First of all, I want to congratulate you because you are a smart man. You are so younger than other friends that I know. You just have finished an English degree in language studies. It sounds great. About you problems or difficulties of getting new people and friends I suggest taking to account next recommendations:

I guess you like studying so much at your home but you may go out for sharing and meet new people in stores, clubs, pubs, discos and other places. Probably you can start working on meeting encounters for making friend with girls.

According to your job, you should publish in a journal your personal data that permits to locate you. You must check it out every single week to find a new and big opportunity of work.

About online dating sites be careful on that because many people use this kind of sites to meet people around the world. They always take different nicknames to appear as great people but at the end they result with a false identification. You have to be cautious all the time.

You are brilliant. You are a best teacher. So, you mustn’t think in bad things because the life can give you a great opportunity of changing in any moment of your short lifecycle. Open your mind and ask to God because it could show you how does it love you and what will be our mission into this planet.

Finally, you must stay in Germany because you do not believe in Islam culture and religious. You just wasted a lot time living in Europe studying so hard for yourself. So, you have to continue working for your personal needs. You already have other interests and likes. For that reason try to put in practice all the suggestions that I propose for you and at the end of it you will see the change of your life.

Warm hug

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2. My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one,too.

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2. My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one,too.

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Q: I’m 22, single and very romantic, yet I can’t relate to women. I grew up with a womanizing father and ever since I can remember he has made comments about women and sex. No man in my family has ever achieved true love and they have all had multiple sex partners and lovers, betraying the confidence of wives and long-term girlfriends. My great grandfather, my grandfather, my uncle and my father share this and some of me thinks that I can’t fight it, that I will become the same. But I struggle. I just can’t talk to women; I can’t play charming around them even when I have a good relationship with them in spaces such as work or college. I have “female friends”, but I can’t break the confidence they have in me by playing the love card. So I’m often the friend of the women I like. My entire romantic concept has been built by culture, by movies like Gone with the Wind or Doctor Zhivago, books like A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bells Tolls and long sessions of the Smiths or the Cure.

Written by Oscar Quintero

According to some psychological theories, womanizing men who live constant romances pretend to find in women the mother of their childhood. On the other hand there are other options within psychology that speak of fear of commitment, a strong disappointment in a previous relationship, etc.

The desire to be with many women conceals the inability to commit to one. The conquests exhibited by the womanizer cover the deficiencies of his manhood to relate to a woman.

Although there is a past like your male relatives are womanizing, that does not mean that you should become one, We are autonomous to make our own decisions, tomorrow is what we live and the future is what we build.
Your fear of becoming a being like your father, has prevented you from enjoying the beauty of finding a stable partner, being happy and spending pleasant moments with your opposite gender.
I recommend you not to stop, learn to value romantic relationships, risk leaving your comfort zone, conquer the woman of your dreams, one who knows your feelings, who knows your tastes, who really cares about you and not in money or in material things, that known as "half orange"

Live your life to the fullest and leave aside the black past of your family.
Lucky friend.

Doctor heart Oscar Quintero

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3. My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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3. My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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Q: I have a 23-year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see my daughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two other children we have. My daughter didn’t have a “proper” boyfriend until she was in her late teens. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. It transpires he’s 48! He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am 55. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this? I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it.

Written by Gloria Acosta

The first thing that comes to my mind is: ¨ Love has no age ¨. A beautiful phrase.

Love has no age, but people do.

Age implies: growing, maturing and aging. This growth is emotional, affective and unfailingly chronological, that is, it occurs over time and brings about physical changes.

The idea is not to make value judgments about whether it is right or wrong.

If trying to show a vision since the couples themselves go through several difficulties and if in turn the age difference is added, these difficulties increase.

Although many accept that love has no age, seeing an older man with a young girl always produces looks of reproach

An older man with a young girl is more socially accepted than an older woman and a young man.

The need for an older man to join a young girl goes beyond desire. It has to do with reaffirmation. An older man attached to a young girl usually tries not to lose his youth and reaffirm manhood

The young woman who joins the older man usually looks for the father figure that protects her or in the worst case, her money. It is not impossible for an older man to fall in love with a young girl, and vice versa, but it is undoubtedly a relationship with a tendency not to last.

In short, each head is a world and in each relationship there are unique and differentiated variables. Generalize is an error.

Best regards

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4. My family is great, but I feel as though I have no realfriends.

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4. My family is great, but I feel as though I have no realfriends.

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Q: I am 38, happily married with two children and have a job I enjoy. However, I have found myself plagued by anxiety about friendships and feelings of loneliness. Since having children I seem to have been on a roller-coaster of friendships. As our lives have evolved, people have drifted away. I now feel I am left with acquaintances (mainly school mums) rather than actual friends. I find WhatsApp groups stressful and can’t go on Facebook, as I feel jealous when I see events where I haven’t been included. Some of my pre-children friends remain, but busy lives and distance mean I only see them a couple of times a year. I’ve given up on phone calls, as people only seem to want to text! I just don’t know how I can get out of this spiraling anxious mindset. Will it improve when my children are older, or without play dates will my social life dry up altogether?