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I like the plot and your pacing is good. Maybe work on spelling and sentences. i think you could make the story a little clearer

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why is it dedicated to one person and why did the knight leave the room

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so i have only read Bruno's so far but i need to add this in ... it was really funny to read that story but i would say it sounds a little two short but that's just me other wise ...IT WAS AWSOME

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fortnite is good.com

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I really enjoyed the beginning. The end was great and funny. Maybe a bit more detail in the middle. I think you could work on pacing.

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I

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Hey corbin, I read your story, and it was really exiting. I also wanted to know more. And the shredder was awesome. You could use more periods, though.  Also, try not to use the same words over and over. 

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Hey corbin, I read your story, and it was really exiting. I also wanted to know more. And the shredder was awesome. You could use more periods, though.  Also, try not to use the same words over and over. 

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really nice story only missing 2 periods

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why are there dots in the and she was right

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To Adri: You need to work on capitalization and

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it was really funny to read your story i don't have anything else to say bye bye

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written by sam
very suspicious
good organizing

needs more periods
spelling

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Person who read paper, well me. But not you. The persons paper that I looked at: Chips. And what I read, a house on maple street.
One thing I really liked was that it was really short, and that the spelling and grammar wasn't too bad. Another thing I liked was that I could actuality in vision the story a bit more than I can others.
One bad side was the fact that the periods were comas. it made it very hard to tell when a sentence was over, but there were capitals at the start, so it wasn't to difficult. But the other thing was that the story didn't really explain what was happening, so I had to work a little harder to find out what was happening, but it wasn't to bad.

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I like that the caterpillars could spell out goodbye, I also like Oscar can talk to animals and plants, you need to work on not capitalizing names you also need to work on not underlining things three times that don't need to be capitalized\ underlined.

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A STRAGE DAY IN JULY
i liked how theres lots of diolauge. i also liked how you explaind how its only july 4th and not any other day

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I liked your story because it was interesting. I also liked your story because bob sounds like you.
one bad thing is you killed your main charachter.

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SAM--Doing Brooklyn's story....THE HARP!!! First the good then the bad.

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SAM--Doing Brooklyn's story....THE HARP!!! First the good then the bad.

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1.I liked how the main character has a sickness so it makes it more interesting.
2.I also liked the dog cause it is a dog, i have too
1.I didn't really liked how confusing it was and how you only said the harp ONCE!!
2.I also wish you would do a little more dialog but rather than that you did great!!

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Hey marcos, Two good things about your story is that you kept the story going. Also, the story was supa exiting. Two corrections I could offer is that you could use more periods, and check your spelling more often.

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I like how you used a lot of details. Also how you used conversation. Go back and maybe check spelling and punctuation. also what home did they live in?

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UNINVITED GUESTS BY GUS GUS WRITEN BY BRUNO

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UNINVITED GUESTS BY GUS GUS WRITEN BY BRUNO

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the first thing i thought was that he needs to work on his name capitals and his i capitals. but i liked that it was like the hobbit and the action

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Nice Beginning. good job writing.
There was a run on sentence in the middle. work on punctuation. The clearness on the story line and plot. I was not very hooked by it. The problem was not very related. Substitute some " then" words for other words.

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screetch went the violin as lindsy stirling played

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violas violins violets and velvet are awesome

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swoosh went flash,kid flash, and Jesse quick as they ran by

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as fast as storm troopers dance.

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Alliterations are always awesome.

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the Denver Broncos are saying ya to winning

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yes went the seahawks when they won.

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Green Bay Packers vs Seattle Seahawks NFL Thursday Football 11/15 | NFL Week 11 Seahawks vs Packers

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taco cat sister blames grumpy cat for steal taco grumpy now in jail

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taco cat sister comes in anger she say dis " me taco gone you little taco stealing monkey rat

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taco cat said to taco cat " no sorry about taco "     ( FYI its always gonna be taco cat from me lol)

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kitty ate kitkats and kicked me so i turned on a show kits and then it kicked me kicked me kicked till i turned to a kitty

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taco cat eats taco cats taco he he

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harry potter, hagrid,herminoe granger and Ron weasly go to Hogwarts school of which craft and wizardry

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the gummy bear was chewy as he put it into his mouth

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the gummy bear was chewy as he put it into his mouth

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by gus

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thump went the goat

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AAHHHHHHH went the chicken thing

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THUD! went the fly as he slammed into the window.

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THUD! went the fly as he slammed into the window.

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raaaaaaaaaaaah the trex whent

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by gus

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Yeah! went Justin Timberlake singing can't stop the feeling.

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Justin Timberlake - CAN'T STOP THE FEELING! (First Listen)

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BOOM echoed when the girls rammed into each other with the yoga balls.

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How many boards could the mongols hoard if the mongol hoards got bored?

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beep beep im a sheep beep beep im a sheep

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Beep Beep I'm a Sheep (feat. TomSka & BlackGryph0n) | asdfmovie10 song | LilDeuceDeuce

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Bongo cat bongs his bongos all day

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the sound of screaming

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snap went his wand

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pop! went the balloon

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Reilly

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boom went the books as they hit the floor

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as fast as calvin and hobbes danc.

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This is a fan interpretation of Calvin and Hobbes' dance moves, made by Adam Brown. The music is 'April Showers' by ProleteR http://www.facebook.com/ProleteR.beats http://soundcloud.com/proleter-beatmaker and here are the dance moves referenced from the comic: http://i.imgur.com/mSK8Oh.jpg

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Brooklyn went snap as she flew of the roof and hit the concrete .

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crack went the mans arm

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mica's folder went PLOP as she dropped it

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the plane went

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the dog went plop wen he sat on the needle

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whoa! said somebody? meh.

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boom went the singing life is a highway.

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How many boards would the mongols hoard if the mongol hoard got bored

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crack went the man's back.

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Reilly

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The pig was as fat as a wine barrel

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I crashed when I hurted my self.

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the zipper went ZIPPPPP as i zipped up my coat

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the zipper went ZIPPPPP as i zipped up my coat

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croak went the frog

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She sang till heart was beating as fast as a airplane on a runway.

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crack went the wood when it dropped.

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reeeeeeeeeeeee went albert

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screech went the violin

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The goop was so sticky it stuck to me like gum sticks to the bottom of your shoes.

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PLOP when the fat dog layed down.

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the cookie went crunch when I ate it

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how many boards would the mongols hoard if the mongol hoard got board?

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The cat's claws were so sharp, they went through my skin like melted butter.

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Thump! Went Bill's body as he slammed into Reilly's abs of steel.

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Thump! Went Bill's body as he slammed into Reilly's abs of steel.

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Reilly

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woof woof said the puppy

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bump bump bump

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the dog went bark when it chased YOU!!!!!

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boom went the car

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mmmmmmeeeeeeeeoooooowwww said the kitten meow

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crash!!!!!!

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Reilly

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the raze car went ZOOM when it took off

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The  dolphins glided in the water like birds in the air.

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slam is the sound of bongo cat slamming his drum