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If you put stress on one end of a continuum, what do you think would be at the other end? The opposite of stress is not relaxation, but apathy. Stress is how we feel in response to our environment when something happens to someone or something we care about. Stress occurs when we have something at stake, which means stress is a sign that we are engaged with life. For this reason, we don't want to eliminate stress. Instead, we want to leverage stress to make it work for us.

"How to Make Stress Work for You," the next Lay Academy course at First Presbyterian Church, Charleston, is intended to help you leverage stress to your advantage, become a champion of your own life, make you good at stress and make stress work for you. You will rethink your relationship with stress, with yourself, and with the people around you.

The 18-week lecture course will run Oct. 7, 2018 through April 14, 2019, with breaks Nov. 12-Jan. 12 and Feb. 18-March 9 (full class schedule at end of article). Classes are 4-5:30 p.m. Sundays in the dining hall of the First Presbyterian activities building.

The program is a video series by Dr. Kimberlee Bethany Bonura and will also feature panel presentations by Charleston community leaders and class discussions. Dr. Bonura holds a Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, is atriple-certified yoga instructor and holds certifications as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor, kickboxing instructor, Tai Chi and Chigong instructor, senior fitness specialist, weight management instructor, and prenatal and youth fitness specialist.

The Lay Academy is free and open to the public. For more information, call Dr. Bob Newman at 304-345-0225 or the church office at 304-343-8961.
Class schedule Fall series
Oct. 7: A New Mindset about Stress

Oct. 14: Happiness: A Fickle Queen

Oct. 21: Anger: A Tyrannical King

Oct. 28: Swimming in an Ocean of Sorrow

Nov. 4: Why You Stress: Arousal and Value Judgment

Nov. 11: Choose Your Adventure: Choose Your Stress

Nov. 12-Jan. 12: break for reading time and Christmastide
Winter series
Jan. 13: Heaven and Hell Can Be Other People

Jan. 20: Our Overstressed, Overscheduled Kids

Jan. 27: Change Your Mind to Change Your Stress

Feb. 3: Emergency Stress Management

Feb. 10: Good Stress Helps You Handle All Stress

Feb. 17: The Stress of Learning and Mastery

Feb. 18-March 9: break for reading assignments and Lent/Easter
Spring series
March 10: Alternative Approaches to Stress

March 17: Mindfulness: Heart Healing to Manage Stress

March 24: Channeling Stress for a Competitive Edge

March 31: Emerging Stress Management Technology

April 7: Rest, Recover, Restore Your Resilience

April 14: Learning from Your Stress

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Lay Academy: How to Make Stress Work for You starts Oct. 7

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If you put stress on one end of a continuum, what do you think would be at the other end? The opposite of stress is not relaxation, but apathy. Stress is how we feel in response to our environment when something happens to someone or something

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Stress effects the body in many different ways

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Stress effects the body in many different ways

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accelerated aging

irritability

anxiety
depression
insomnia
headaches
weight loss/gain
susceptibility to illness
and many more

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What is stress and why does it cause these effects?

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What is stress and why does it cause these effects?

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Stress is the body’s reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response. Responses can be physical, mental, and emotional. Stress is not always a bad thing, in fact it is often good. We are designed to experience stress and react to it. Stress keeps us alert, motivated, and helps us avoid danger. However, stress becomes bad when a person experiences continuous stress without relief or relaxation. What then happens is the body becomes over worked and the body must respond. Too much stress response causes physical and emotional wear and tear on the body leading to the symptoms above.

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Like many teenagers in high school, I am exposed to high levels of stress. Whether it’s caused by sports, grades, projects, or upcoming tests it seems there’s always something around to cause stress. This is why I was interested in researching this topic. I wanted to learn more about what caused it and how to cope with it.

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Too much stress leaves the body vulnerable to sickness

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Too much stress leaves the body vulnerable to sickness

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Stress stimulates the immune system, which can be a good thing in many situations. This stimulation can help you avoid infections and heal wounds. But over time, stress hormones will weaken your immune system and reduce your body’s response to foreign invaders. People under chronic stress are more susceptible to viral illnesses like the flu and the common cold, as well as other infections. Stress can also increase the time it takes you to recover from an illness or injury.

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Last year I went through a period of about 3 weeks that were filled with nothing but stress. I can honestly say it was one of the worst months of my life. At the need of this 3 week period I conducted a virus that later turned into pneumonia. Coincidence? Maybe.

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Everyone has different stress triggers. One trigger most people have in common is school and work, but everyday life also causes stress. Stress can also be cause just by us worrying ourselves.

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Being unhappy with your job
Having a heavy workload
Long hours
Dangerous conditions
Poor management

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The death of a loved one
Loss of a job
Financial Obligations
Traumatic event
Chronic illness or injury

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Projects such as this
Finals
Lates work
Getting to bed at a decent hour/Not getting enough sleep
Getting up in time for school/Being late

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I myself find many of these causes in my life, especially the school related ones. In fact it almost seems like stress and anxiety gets harder to deal with with each week sometimes.

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Luckily, just as there are many causes of stress, there are also many ways to combat it. Reducing stress can be relatively easy as long as you know some of these simple steps.

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Mark Nathan is Chief Technology Officer at Freelancers Union. View Mark Nathan's profile

Wouldn't life be better if people just let you deliver work on your timetable? Being recognized as somebody that delivers everything when you say eliminates risk for your client and creates buffer space for you to begin giving delivery dates that are less aggressive. Learn how to be Joey Reliable, and you will reduce stress for both your clients and yourself!

One of the most enjoyable experiences over the last twenty years leading technology at Apple, Disney, NeXT, Guardian Life and Freelancers Union is helping technology folks develop their skillsets. I've had the opportunity to manage hundreds of developers, and although the technologies differ tremendously, there are a number of important skills that transcend technical disciplines.

The story about Joey Reliable is about managing your time, and more specifically the benefits of delivering all your work on time.
Who is Joey Reliable?
Joey Reliable is a persona (gender neutral :-) that I've used for many years to explain how being reliable is the most fundamental trait in being perceived by clients as a top-notch expert and trusted advisor. Reliability is not a replacement for high-quality work, efficiency or skill-set knowledge. However, never being late will always enhance your other qualities.
Joey Delivers Everything on Time
This is the most important step towards being able to control your own time in the future. You absolutely must deliver everything on time - not sometimes, not most of the time, but all the time! If you are falling behind, work late, work long, work smart, work weekends...but work and deliver on the hour you promised. This step will pay off later. Once you are recognized for delivering everything on time (regardless of whether it's the quickest time or not), then your clients will start to think about you as "the reliable one."

Many years ago, when I was working at Disney, I was tasked with delivering the initial launch of family.com under a very aggressive schedule. I had to deal with the same challenges as most tech folks: late and incomplete requirements, scope creep, design changes and the usual compression of the testing phase down from say a month to what seemed like a few hours at 2:00am the night before launch. The project was brutal, but somehow we delivered...and I knew I had established a solid rapport with the website's editors and producers.
Joey Sets Long Deadlines
Don't be afraid to initially suggest delivery dates that might seem slightly longer than your client's desire. As you negotiate with your client, impress upon them the importance you put in delivering quality products on time. Deliver for your clients, and work to become their trusted advisor. As you become more trusted, start establishing less aggressive dates.

After the family.com project was delivered, I still got requests for family.com feature enhancements. One Monday morning, a producer dropped by and asked me to change the format of the article pages. I knew I could get it done in an hour or so, but I said "how about a week from Friday?" They smiled, said ok, and I wrote it down. The next day a few more folks came by asking for changes, and I said "how about a week from Friday?" This continued into the next Monday and Tuesday, and I changed my response to "how about this Friday?" I was amazed at how much time I was given to get these tasks done...especially after such a hectic production release.
Joey is Credible
The first step towards being able to set deadlines (as opposed to the client), is to establish your credibility. There's no doubt about it - this step requires hard work and dedication to your trade. This is part of building your freelancer-client relationship. Don't expect to walk in and negotiate timelines with a client if you've never successfully delivered to them, and/or you don't have a known reputation for being a very trustworthy technologist. Clients first and foremost need to trust you, and know you deliver quality work.

I could have chosen to work on the family.com website requests immediately, but I wouldn't have the free time I needed for a new project. By giving a deadline that was further out than necessary, I was able to get seven days to work on the new project, and still meet everybody's expectations!
Why Do Clients Love Joey Reliable?
Over the years, I've reflected a bit about Joey Reliable, and I've used the persona to help technology folks recognize the importance of meeting all their deadlines. Late deliverables cause projects to go into a thrashing mode which in turn causes other team members (i.e. testers) to have to change their timelines...which then creates a domino effect of date changes and extra meetings to get projects on back on track. That's not fun for anybody, and especially frustrating for clients to witness.

Here are a few steps that you could try with your clients.
Help Clients Avoid Risk
The most important concept that makes the "Joey Reliable" technique work, is the vast majority of clients don't like risk. They would rather have reliability. Once credibility is built and you are recognized for delivering on time, you can say "next Friday" instead of "this Friday." The client might think "well, this Friday would be better...but it's Joey, and it will get done on time." At the end of the day, clients would prefer to wait a couple of extra days to ensure that the delivery is done exactly when it was due, rather than have to move related activities (such as marketing) at the last minute due to a late technology delivery.
Become a Trusted Advisor
Technology is complicated, and most clients won't ever have the time to obtain the knowledge and skills that you have. Learn how to speak the client's language, simplify technology, avoid techy jargon and just build a strong two-way communication style. But remember, the quickest way to building their trust is to deliver exactly what you say, when you say. At the end of the day, you're being hired to build something that they generally can't build on their own. It's good if the client learns a little, but the most important concern is that they can tell their peers and managers that they delivered the project on time...thanks to Joey Reliable. After that happens a few times, those clients will be coming back and asking for advice on their next project.
Don't Use Excuses
So, hopefully you will never have a need to use an excuse because you are always ahead of time on your deliverables. However, it's not uncommon that something gets delivered late to you, some unexpected appointment messes up your day, or your dog simply ate your technology. Whatever the case is, it's best to not have to rely on excuses. As you get closer to being Joey Reliable, you will learn to buffer your times significantly so that losing a few days doesn't affect delivery. In the meantime, the best technique is to work really hard in the beginning of a project so that you can build up some buffer time for the unexpected events.
Why is Joey Reliable Good for Your Sanity?
Joey Reliable isn't just a great persona for your clients. By becoming super-reliable, you can improve your life. As you build credibility with your clients, here are some ideas you might consider.
Get Out of the Blame Game
I'm sure you've seen it before - when projects are late, the blame starts moving in all directions. Wouldn't it be great to not participate in the blame game? The best way to avoid or stay on the fringes of the blame game is to keep your head down and deliver your work on time.
Long Deadlines Help You Juggle Multiple Projects
Manage your time by managing what you build. It's easy to throw in all sorts of extra functionality to demonstrate your skills and make the client happy. However, time really is money for most freelancers, so remember to right size what you build, and deliver a solid quality product that meets the client's expectations. If you can throw some extra features in for free, that's great...as long as it doesn't jeopardize delivering your work on time. An extra feature isn't an excuse for being late.

Working fast isn't always the fastest way to achieve success. Often you will find success quicker by always delivering on time - not 99%...but 100% of the time.
Do you have examples where you provided long deadlines, kept your clients happy, and reduced stress in your life?

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Reduce stress and keep clients happy by becoming "Joey Reliable"

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Mark Nathan is Chief Technology Officer at Freelancers Union. View Mark Nathan's profile Wouldn't life be better if people just let you deliver work on your timetable? Being recognized as somebody that delivers everything when you say eliminates risk for your client and creates buffer space for you to

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EXERCISE: Excercise is a huge stress reliever. It reduces the body’s stress hormones and also releases endorphins, which are chemicals that improve your mood and act as natural pain killers. It also improves your sleep quality

Light a candle: take a bath, just chill out and relax. All that really needs to be said

Write what’s causing you stress: down on a piece of paper. This will help ease your mind and give you a list of what you need to take care of so you can get it done easily.

Chewing gum: doing this gives your mind something to focus on and helps it reduce stress

Spend time with friends and family: Having a good time with people you care about will always help reduce the stress in your life

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Since taking up this project I have learned much about stress and how to reduce it. I have also been trying out many of these stress reducing techniques and i’ve found that they truly do work for me. If you are experiencing large amounts of stress I would recommend that you try some of these techniques.

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https://www.webmd/balance/stress-management/stress-symptoms-effects_of-stress-on-the-body?scrlybrkr=76lcb457#1
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-body.aspx
https://www.everydayhealth.com/stress/guide/effects-on-body/
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/16-ways-relieve-stress-anxiety?scrlybrkr=44bc4f28