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Overall, we see how Pan wants us to confront our pasts and face our futures because she shows us how vulnerable we are when confronted with sorrow and loss. Pan shows us how important it is to define our own identity in order to fully understand another's life.

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You can see the main character, Leigh’s, character growth when she says, “Sometimes Wiapo says something, and I can feel dad tense up beside me. In those moments, even though I don’t understand exactly what's being said, I know it’s something about mom, something he doesn’t like. I nudge my hand close, so he remembers that I am here with him. And then I watch his shoulders unwind just a bit.” (Pan 438)

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The Astonishing Color of After addresses that loss is not something to fear, but something to embrace for restoration by Leigh coming to a resting point in her journey in learning more about her culture as well as her mother's background.

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Leigh finds it important to gain knowledge of why her mother is giving her signs and looks into her past life. Why does her mother appear and disappear? In the end, Leigh finds not only what she needed to, to rest in her mother's passing, but finds the missing piece of herself.

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For example, it’s clear when, “Wiapo promised we’ll go everywhere that’s important… where she might have left traces of herself… The birds want to be found. SHe has something to tell me. And this is how I'll get to her. I’m absolutely certain.” (Pan 132) You can see that the social understanding of mothers culture was an influence to Leigh in the way finding the reason her mother is a bird.

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In The Astonishing Color of After, it’s important to note the social setting of Leigh trying to fully understand and immerse herself in her Taiwanese background because of the impact they have on Leigh and how it furthers the understanding she has for her mother.

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This moral dilemma impacts the behavior of the character when she sees her mother as the bird one last time. This specific encounter is referred to towards the end of the book, “Mother says, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. The bird rises higher and higher she turns and arcs. I watch as she bursts into flames. My heart seizes. My breath stops. She burns like a star.” (Pan 414) This quote shows the actions and behaviors of Leigh, and impact the plot and theme by using her loss and grief to fuel her search for the reason her mother took her life. Through determination and curiosity she deals with her past head on. Her infatuation with her mother's past ultimately leads to the restoration of her sanity.

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For example, Leigh thinks to herself, “There's no way to speed through the grief. There's still a mother-shaped hole inside me. It'll always be there. But maybe it doesn't have to be a deep, dark pit, waiting for me to trip and fall. Maybe it can be a vessel. Something to hold memories and colors…” (Pan 438)

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In the novel, The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X. R., the main character, Leigh, demonstrates her moral dilemma of deciding whether she should stay in the same grief pattern by chasing the ghost of her mother or letting her mother's soul rest and taking care of herself or continuing down a dark hole of the infatuation with her mother's past leading up to her passing by establishing she wants to move on from the hunt.