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In high school, I started exploring engineering as a career when I took an elective class. For one of the projects for this class, we had to design and build a tower made of fragile wood that would hold as much weight as possible. As we were designing, our group always had to share their ideas with each other and explain why they thought they would work or not. Initially, this was hard to do because we didn’t know each other, but with time it was easier, and we were able to come up with a number of different designs. We kept trying them out, seeing if it worked, and then going back to the drawing board. At the end, we designed a triangle-shaped structure with walls supported by pillars that would help it hold any weight we put on it. When we took it to class, we noticed that our structure was the best-looking one. However, it did not hold as much weight as we expected. The structure that held the most weight was actually the ugliest one! This experience further my understanding of engineering in many ways. I developed skills in the cycle of designing, trying things out, identifying mistakes, and redesigning again. I learned perseverance when things don’t work out the first time, and I learned the importance of communication when you’re working with others. Finally, I learned that the best-looking structure isn’t always the best one, that there is more to consider when building. I am now looking forward to applying these skills to an undergrad program in engineering, learn how to build things that last, and create the appropriate instructions so that others can also build these pieces. Hopefully, people like my dad will be able to see the value of following instructions, proper building, and having pieces that last.

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Today, I still want to improve people’s lives. I would like to build something that can make that happen, but now that I know about more careers and business has been one that caught my attention. Thinking about it, money impacts everyone. Growing up I often heard struggles people went through because of the lack of money, and others about people who didn’t know how to manage it. I’ve heard my parents and other adults talk about owning a business. Even though they have the idea of owning a business they can’t start one. This has influenced me to have my own business. But choosing business as a career goes beyond that. I want to be knowledgeable enough to be able to help other people start their own. My experience as an immigrant and with the help of a business degree will give me an opportunity to help other people with a similar situation. I will be able to have a better understanding of what their fears and struggles are to start their own business.

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“Like previously mentioned, my father is the only individual in my household that has a job. We don’t own a house, we rent. So it tends to get really hard on my family at the end of the month because most of the money that my dad earns goes towards paying bills and the house rent. I've mentioned my educational goals to my mother before and she always gives me a worried expression because of how expensive it is to receive a higher education. I myself get overwhelmingly filled with stressful thoughts in my head that give me anxiety when I think about my legal status and going to a university. Back then, I used to have negative thoughts and would often settle for less because in my mind it was going to be impossible to receive a higher education. That all slowly started to shift as I started to change my vocabulary from “hopefully I will go to a university” to “I know I will go, no matter how immensely stressful it gets, I will go”. I understand that my family won’t be able to pay for my education so I plan on applying to as many scholarships as possible throughout my senior year in highschool. Not only that but I’ll look into private scholarships, I’ll try to build connections with people and ask around if they would be willing to help pay for some of the expenses. I also plan on acquiring a part time job (if possible) to be able to pay for some of my daily necessities like food. Though it may seem impossible to receive a higher education, with hard work, determination, and self belief, anything you put your mind to is possible. It’s inside all of us if we choose to chase after our dreams or if we choose to watch it slip away from the sidelines.  Personally, I plan on winning that race in the R34.“

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My family is not  well-off enough to be able to afford all of my secondary education. I don’t expect them to pay for it because I want to handle this myself and not make them worry. My parents’ income is approximately $1,200 a month and that is not enough to pay tuition in any college. My mother pushes me to strive for a good career and well-paying job. She told me I should pursue a career as an office worker or lawyer. However, I told her that those jobs don’t interest me and that my passion is in art. I understand why my mother worries because sometimes art is not very profitable for some artists, which is a reason I chose to pursue a career as a clinical psychologist, but I strive to make a living from art.

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It's been 3 years now since my brother passed away. When I heard the news I was stunned, and despondent. From that very time I knew I was never going to get the chance to see my brother in person. We talked over the phone but that was it. The only time me and my brother did talk he told me, “hey bro how are you” I responded with good, “keep working hard bro over here in Mexico its tough, always keep in mind your grateful to be in the US.” I said of course. From that last phone call I had with I've always kept what he told me in mind. I was not doing that great in the first year of high school. Something in me hit me and said, “hey get your crap together your brother wouldn’t have wanted this for you, he would have wanted the best from you.” from so on I started realizing again I got to start to work hard and keep my brothers legacy up.

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lkjdf;lskdjfsldkfjas;lkdfjsd fsdflaksdjf

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From when I was 13 years to now, I have noticed that I changed, I got to know myself better. I got to know that I liked fishing, spending time with family and friends, and learning new things, either from school or from people. I figured out my interests, talents, and hobbies. I love to play the guitar, make music, and record music. My dad always bought me these little guitars at the flea market and that's where I got the interest of playing the guitar because my dad wanted me to. I am in the process of becoming better each and every day.

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The one thing me and most immigrants have heard all our lives, mainly from our parents, is how they came to America for us to have a better future. This is both a heavy expectation for us to achieve but also a motivation. The best way to have a better future in America is through education. All throughout my life, my parents have always invested in my education. As children, we have big dreams for our careers; I myself dreamed of being a firefighter. As we grow, we realize that our dreams are not always available to us or we lose interest in it. As I grew up, I began to become involved in my church. I started to volunteer taking care of children and interacting with them made me realize how much I enjoy engaging with and assisting others. I strongly believe that children are the future and I was glad to help them along. I do not want to be a firefighter anymore but the core of my dream remains.  I still want to be able to interact with and help people that are less fortunate than me.
I am grateful that I was able to go through this essay with a partner. It helped it become more smoother.

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Although my career path may not be easy and I might go through a lot, I'm willing to stick to my plan. Even though senior year is just starting I am excited for the future and determined to achieve all of my goals and dreams. My parents and helping my sister live a better life are what motivates me. I want to be the first person in my family to go to college. I want to learn to help my sister and other families in ways that I didn't know I could help them. I am hoping GCU will give me these opportunities.

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As a child my dad always told me that I would have to work harder to get what I wanted just because I was undocumented. I spend my evening studying while I saw the rest of my friends playing outside. Yet I went home getting A’s in my report cards and they went with C and the next day they came like nothing sometimes with a new toy. I would be so angry and jealous that my parents just gave me a good job or that’s good while my friends got rewarded. So one day I asked my dad why he wasn’t proud of me, why I didn’t get a toy like my friends that got a C’s. He simply said, “because getting good grades is your job, it is the way you are paying me while I am working with this heat of 108 degrees”. After that day, I worked harder, I did everything as perfectly as I could, I would take extra notes so I could get the best grades for my dad.

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The smell of lemons takes me back to my grandparents house where they had a lemon tree in the backyard.  When Rolando and I  were seven, we decided that we were going to pick the lemons, put them in bags, and sell them around the town. Because it was such a small town, it was pretty safe, so we would just tell our parents we would be back soon and would walk around asking anybody we saw if they would like to buy from us. People quickly bought these lemons just because they thought we were cute. We began to do this quite often and we even started to get loyal customers. Although it didn't make us rich, it did get us just enough to go to the gas station and buy ourselves some candy, which was more than enough for us. Sometimes I miss these days because it seemed so simple to get what we wanted; as I've grown, my goals have grown with me the same. However, this doesn't stop me, I still go out and search for ways to accomplish these goals.

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The feeling is overwhelming. Walking into any room and feeling my heart sink so deep into my stomach because I sensed an attack for simply existing as an undocumented non-binary lesbian. Not just from society, but friends and unfortunately, family. It’s everyday that members of the LGBTQIA+ community, especially people of color, are talked about on the news. Not to be recognized or to hear about their story of who they are, but to talk about their passing. To speak on their tragic, and brutal death for being human. I would never imagine myself being open about not only my immigrant status, but who I identify in regards to gender and sexuality, because of the appalling deaths of people in my community. However, as I’ve grown I have realized that success is on the other side of fear, and regardless of how scared I may be, who I am can make others feel safe and inspired.

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School years pass by slowly in the moment, you never realize the speed life changes in until you blink. Open your eyes and its kindergarten with you playing on the swings, close them and time flows, only for you to open them and see yourself writing your college essay. Gone are the goals of becoming a princess and having ice cream, becoming goals to get a doctorate and get the opportunity to have a full ride in college. Only if we had savored the ice cream we ate as innocent children, now it’s melted into a puddle of worry for financial needs.

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This paragraph is not 100% completely, at first I thought it was but with the many ideas that Frankie presented I realized I could add onto it or move things around a little more. I’m really grateful that I got the opportunity to open up to her and that she was attentively listening. Thank you once again for all the ideas, tips, and help that you provided to me!

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, the best part was that all that tiny furniture was like my little bubble, like the place where I feel like I belong to, like if it was designed for me. I got a feeling that i can’t describe i just know that i was born to be an architect

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(This was before to live in U.S.)
I was always afraid to do something and fail miserably. My father always told me the studies will give me better opportunities for myself but when I failed the 9th grade I realized that I never put enough effort to feel that it was really true. I don't wanted to my parents continuing to spend their money because I don't believed that it is worth so I start studied in school where the cost was a lot of cheap and an education has a great difference with my last school. In this I know to my best friend and people who had difficults like work to help their families to mantein them and others who had problems with drugs due the stress or debs at the yough age they were, their was trying har to go ahead with his studies with the hopping of a better future, so in this time that I could share with them remembered a lot of mate of my last school who were in the same condition of my actualities companions and they had great grades, a strong determination to move on, and goals that the wanted to make it true, I was there, thinking of everything I'm going to do is not going to be worth it, so I say to myself: "If they can do it having more obstacles in the way than me, I, who have more opportunities then they, I need to do better."

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Throughout my life I have had a lot of obstacles. One of the biggest ones being when I was younger and had to fight against an infection in my blood. I also had an inflamed liver and I would fainted a few times. For many months I was in bed and watched as others could continue to live life while I was fighting for my life. The medicine I took made me feel weak and useless. For a long time my mental health struggled and ever since I have had to live with the fear of getting sick again and the possibility of it getting worse or there being no cure. After I got better I had a new mindset and I felt reborn. I felt like I had another opportunity to live life, learn, and grow. This encourages me to want to be a pediatrician because I had a newfound empathy for kids who went through difficult diseases like I did.

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I really love your word choice that you chose to include. It helped paint a picture in my head. I love writing in that style where you paint pictures in the readers head but sometimes I struggle on how to do it. Seeing you write a piece of your essay like this was really cool.

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I can relate to how your parents told you that studies will giver you a better opportunity

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I can totally relate to my parents having different expectations for me then what I want. It is after all your life and it should be your decision.

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I also relate to the feeling of being the first person to go to college and the feelings of being determined and excited to achieve goals and dreams we have.

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I appreciate how you go into great detail. It really gives the reader a sense of emotion in your writing.

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i can relate the part were you said "i miss these days because it seemed so simple to get what we wanted". I miss my days when life was easy and you didn't have to worried about other things than just enjoy you're childhood.

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Abner, I appreciate and can relate to your shift in mindset. Having a negative perspective causes more pain than anything. I've also experienced the benefits of remaining optimistic and hopeful that things will improve - they often do if we open ourselves up to it!

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I really related to having something that just feels right, you don't really know how to explain the feeling yet it feels right and make you happy.

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I think that it's hard to get into action without a push. It's upsetting that your brother died but it's great that you decided to make him proud. This paragraph definitely  has a great tone.

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My dad also works construction and my mom works as well. It kinda sucks when they try to use guilt to motivate me even though it does tend to work.

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I love this. My dad would say similar things about getting good grades and how hard he works for my siblings and I. Good job with this section! :D

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I really like the way you play around with your diction. It’s like the reader is getting into your thoughts, for me personally. I really like the way you structured this little piece.

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I genuinely relate to the fact that you know, you have the confidence and believe you had done much more outstanding than others and then realizing that in reality, that was not the case. But I totally agree, that doesn't mean you give up. i admire you already taking steps in gaining knowledge and experience on a career that you are interested in!

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starting to think more positively in life can really make a difference even though your feeling down. I like how you mentioned you started telling your self, "I know I will."

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I agree with "This is both a heavy expectation for us to achieve but also a motivation." I relate to this a lot!

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Incredibly strong images - your word choice is your strong suit as a writer. You have a prominent voice and that is hard to establish.

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I appreciate how you're so open about your sickness, I know it can be frustrating I have seen my family go through these struggles as well I'm glad you're doing better !

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I know how the stress make you feel powerless and this including debts and the discouragement to feel not being able to aspire to more, so the only way to make real our hopes and dreams is go ahead and never retreat.
"When the storm desist, is time to move on."

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Wow!! This reads playful and fun but also powerfully motivated. I am drawn in and can't wait to read more. I am convinced, too, that this is the right path for you.

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I really appreciate you sharing your story and how difficult if was for you.

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I loved the memory you added, make it much more special and you can tell it's something that makes you happy

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I really like how you tell this memory of your life like a little story that you look back to to help motivate you to reach your goals and dreams.

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Wanting to help other is also a motivating factor for me.

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This a great starter piece that's full of information that helps understand you as a person better.

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this piece clearly shows how you came out stronger. You clearly have the right motivation to choose your career.

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I LOVE this anecdote. It is so sweet, simple, nostalgic, and effective to paint a picture for the reader about what's important to you. I used to have lemonade and brownie stands at the end of my street growing up and have fond memories of those experiences.

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I also lost someone, almost a year ago and I remember the last time we talked on the phone and it truly breaks my heart every time I remember what they last said to me but I as well got myself together because I knew that they wouldn't want to be see giving up.

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I really think you did an amazing job providing detail of the things you have done and the skills you have in this piece of writing.

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I really appreciate that you are sharing what you heard as a child and explain how that affect you.

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i can relate being told by my parents to study.

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I can relate to parents have different opinion on what career you choose. Many talk on the subject thinking it would be heard with good intentions but someone always wants to be supported not told they are wrong.

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I really like this, it gives so much detail and expresses a lot of emotion in a single word.

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I know how it feels like to dream of being someone yet knowing you won't be able to or getting discourage to for simply being undocumented.

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That is so wholesome and sweet! I can picture it and while I have no experience in these sort of things, your experience helps me understand you more. :D

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I love how assertive you are about your dreams even though it isn't what your family wants for you. As a recovering people-pleaser, I really admire this quality about you. It's really hard for me to prioritze my wants/needs over other's expectations and opinions. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of doing that.

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I hope you know and understand that even if you failed in a certain area, it doesn't make you any less capable of pursuing your dreams. I totally agree with what your parents said, studying can open many doors for you!!

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also lost someone important in my life and it wasn't the best feeling it felt like my world was slowly coming to an end, im glad you kept on going and remembering that your bother would be proud.

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Starting a business can be stressful and may keep you up late, but i believe you can definitely achieve what you put your mind to !

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I really like how you share a personal piece of your life. It helps the reader understand you a little more. I also really like how you choose to follow what makes you happy! Do what makes YOU happy, not what makes others happy. You got this, believe in yourself!

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I relate to the fear of being a queer person of color. There's not always support for us but we got to keep pushing on anyways.

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i can totally relate how other people expect to do what they want you to do

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Loosing someone that close to you really changes your entire life its amazing your towards wanting to keep his legacy up. Many people would have just shut off and given up. This has clearly made you stronger.

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i can relate having to struggle in the past with the rent.

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I appreciate your personal tone in your writing, it makes it fun to read.

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The world definetly needs more people helping each other. I think its awesome that you want to give back to the immigrant community

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I can relate how time goes so fast. It really does.

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I feel like you described me. When I was your age, I was consumed with doing things perfectly, being the best, working the hardest. I learned eventually that it wasn't healthy for me, however, and I've been on a long journey to figure out how to prioritize myself when making decisions.

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Abner I really appreciate what you wrote. I know how hard and difficult navigating higher education may be but that shift in mindset sometimes makes all the difference in the world to keep being resilient in the face of adversity.

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I really understand the difficulties of not owning a house and having my parent's earnings continuously invested in rent. It's heart breaking in a way, but know that there are many opportunities coming your way and your parent's way. And I admire you gaining a more optimistic mindset!!

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It's a very emotional piece, I love how you don't really take what your dad says negatively and take it as a motivator.

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It most definitely does get tough on us sons and daughters because our parents expect us to get extremely good grades in order to be able to go to college or a university. It most certainly does seem unfair! I myself have worked outside with my dad and it’s not fun at all, it sucks! That’s why I choose to keep on persevering to obtain my goals and dreams. Keep on working hard but don’t let it consume you. You only live once, do what truly makes YOU happy!

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Being the first person from your family to go to college can be very stressful since you try to make an example, I hold the same feelings.

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i know how hard is to think thta your parents aren't proud of you but believe they are proud of you. you are doing your best you should be proud of it.

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puro pa'delante right. We really have to work hard to get where we want in life. I can relate because my goal in life is also to make my parents proud.

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I am happy that you recognize the challenges you face. Once you know them, the easier it is to start pushing through them/

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This piece shows your resilience in the face of challenges. It shows off that you have the ability to move forward no matter what.

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I love how strong your voice is when you talk about your motivation and your goals. I am confident that you will have an abundance of opportunities throughout your experiences in college, whether that's at GCU or elsewhere.

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It's great that you were able to find yourself and the things you enjoy. I think it's amazing how you have motivation to improve in your skills.

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I like how you give emotion and describe things really well.

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It really shows how you have strengthened both the body and mind fighting both mental and physical diseases. It takes a very strong mind t to overcome big experiences like these.

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Ana thank you for sharing that. I love your use of imagery. I think it is so powerful to be able to paint that picture for your audience and really describe what you are feeling.

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the fact that you want to help your family, sister, and community says a lot about you.

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I have also had that feeling where my heart sinks to my stomach for simply being a undocumented person and it sucks, i cant imagine how you feel, keep pushing you'll accomplish everything you want

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I also relate to being the first person to get an education in the US and it's definitely a hard expectation to meet.

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I like how you go to the past and share a memory and give a description and a sense of smell.

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I appreciate that you are sharing your story and giving details, I admire that you accept your fear but you don't let it stop you from becoming who you are.

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This was all so beautifully written, and I can assure that majority of the people in this world can totally relate to the idea that time is so valuable an precious.

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This piece is a good representation of the advantage of having a strong voice. I can tell your emotions and I relate. Hispanic parents tend to see our hard work as an ends to a mean instead of something we work really hard of. They may be proud of us but they rarely ever tell us which can hurt us a lot.

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I can relate to the thinking about paying for college.

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I knew the feeling of money been the obstacle we use to rent a house but even after we bought our house till this day its difficult to pay it, i appreciate my dad for going above & beyond for us

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I really like how I am able to just picture your story, I think it's great that you and your group worked together and were able to have a connection even if yours wasn't able to hold as much as the others.

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I like how you give so many emotions off in your piece of writing.

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I also feel like my dreams have changed but my goal for helping people stays the same

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i know what is like to fight for your life but here you are you made it. this part shows how strong you are because you neve gave up.

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I like how you push yourself to keep pursuing your career even if you know the obstacle you have to face.

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I can relate to having a lot of struggles through out my life.

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I can relate loosing someone. it really sucks but, you keep his legacy alive and that's what i like about your piece.

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Studying is important and my parents didn't hesitate to tell me that many times. Sadly, it is true that many people in Mexico drop out due to work, didn't study, or had addictions. It's a sad reality that my parents told me when I was older. I'm proud with how far you come despite the challenges you faced. I, too, fear failure. Good job on this piece of your essay, it's full of emotion :D

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I really love that you have a motivated spirit to help those around you. It helps the reader understand that you’re a caring individual who is determined to pursue her goals and dreams.

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As someone who has lost a loved one, i can relate to at first just not wanting to do anything. It's our coping method for losing someone so precious. After you finally realize these people are our motivators, they're the engines for us it really inspires.

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Jenny, you are a force to be reckoned with. I am inspired by your drive, focus, and clear vision for your life.

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I relate a little bit to your story because I as well had an inflamed little when I was younger. I so badly wanted to join the soccer team when I was in sixth grade but I wasn’t able to because of my health. Keep on fighting and keep in pursuing your goals and dreams! You got this!

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I genuinely understand that feeling when you just know that something was meant for you, but when trying to explain that to someone, there really aren't any words that can describe it.