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My story is weird, really weird, how it ends and starts is a little awkward. You might think it’s the same old boy meets girl falls in love, no for me. It’s how I found myself through this adventure it’s about the effects people had over me and how I end being just like the person I wanted to become, you might relate, you might not, in the end, it’s my story and what life-changing effects it had on me.

How should I start? I am Elaina Saldanha, your average Indian girl who has zero experience in the boy department and hasn’t been kissed yet, setting out to finish her senior year of high school in the United States. Well, I find that weird. After all, I can't just finish it here in India and then leave to study at University abroad because my parents think it’s easier if I have a head start on how it is in the USA. By the way, I'm 17 years old, turning 18 on May 17th. I’m glad I can leave this country and start fresh on everything. I’ll hate it there I’m sure about that, I’ll hate the school and the place because I hate change.

My mom’s best friend who’s settled in California (who’s also Indian), somewhere I'm not sure but whatever. I freaked out, I imply why would a school in America give me a scholarship I only have to pay for food and accommodation, when I got the news I acted as if I didn’t want to go nonetheless deep down inside I knew this was my ticket to run away, to freedom and I needed it badly.

At first, I thought my mom would be coming with me, but then aunty Maya said that I'll be living in her home, which is near the school with my room. I'm not independent, so my parents are thrilled that I will be as independent as possible with this.

My 13-year-old sister is pretty excited because she will have everything to herself. We visited her a long time ago when she was newly married to an American, I'm not sure whether she has children or not yet.

So, here I am exactly a month later ready to leave for an early morning flight to California on a Monday. I hate Monday mornings even like the first day of the week. I packed my bags ages ago (2 weeks) and then ended up replacing a few things and I also stole my lemonade backpack from Diana (my annoying little sister).

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I woke up around 3 in the morning excited about everything that was going to happen, mom was not going to join me on the plane (which I’m sad about it but equally happy too) I got up and got dressed in the most comfortable chic unique style of mine. A pair of denim leggings, a slightly cropped top, and a hoodie, and other girly things not too much of it though,  because I don’t want mom to complain about my dressing style. I kept it a little mom accepted. I was so happy because I knew that I could do anything sensible enough when mom’s not around. I had told a few friends that I was leaving, but I didn’t care if anyone was even happy about it for me or not, that I was leaving, I didn't have many friends and I don't have a best friend.

I did some last-minute packing, fixed my wavy, curly, thick hair into an imperfect ponytail grabbed my favorite novels, journals, kindle, writing pad, my laptop, chargers, everything I needed to stuff it into my backpack along with some necessities namely: my wonderful perfume, pads, tampons, my nail polish, jewelry set, my water bottle, ticket, passport, student visa, socks, breath mints with my phone, and purse the rest was in my luggage.

Then my mom barged in and, surprisingly found me ready,” We have to get to the airport in an hour, did you pack everything?”I grabbed my backpack and my two heavily filled suitcases, which were filled with unnecessary things my mother

calls necessary. “Let’s leave, otherwise you will miss your flight”.

“That troll is finally leaving, my dream’s coming true” “I heard that”

“Your room is mine now and you can’t do anything about it”,” yeah but everything that’s mine will be sent to me, how exactly?” Ana (her nickname) shouts “Through courier you dumbass” I’m taking whatever I need at the moment.

“We’re leaving girls,” I happily walked towards the car, though happy I’ve tears in my eyes, I’ll be leaving Mom, Dad, Diana, and a place where I call home.

We reach the airport in about  1 hour at around 5, the airport's quite far from home. Diana slept because she is a night owl, she didn't even realize we reached.

After unloading all the suitcases from the boot, I just hug everyone  "Mom I'm sorry that I've troubled you and I'll miss you loads

Ana doesn't seem to care though, because I asked her how much she'll miss me out of 10 she said "I'll miss you a 5" but I know she will miss me more than she says, and so will I. "Dada I'll miss you."

"I will miss you too my darling, study hard, be a good girl, do what makes you happy and make me proud.” "I will, I promise I will."

"Do you think you need help checking in?" Mom asks, nope. I think I've got it, I need to be independent remember

"Bye, now we love you, call us when you get there, Maya said she will come to pick you up." Okay mom

I ran to the check-in, did it pretty smoothly, did everything you need to do at the airport, and then sat to eat fried chicken and chips to know that I’ll have a 1 day 6h flight from here to San Francisco, then take a flight from San Francisco. It’s gonna be hectic and tiring but it’s okay I can consider it my first ever solo trip.

Anyways, my insomnia is crazy, I slept in the afternoon though. My parents kinda don't know about it, it's not even that serious, they don't know a lot that is there to know about me, hardly anyone knows.

I head to the gate number and wait about 15 minutes. It's currently 5:45, we then start boarding, I booked a window seat in the economy class. At 6 we take off.

I text mom to let her know I'm okay otherwise she might end up tracking me on find my friends (does it even work if the person is on a plane). Sometimes I wish I never taught her to use it, but then I still love her protectiveness. Now we are boarding, I’m so damn excited, here I come freedom. As soon as the plane takes off, butterflies are in my stomach not because I’m scared of flying but you know, new country, school, friends, house, and people. How I’m going to fit in, I hope I do. My English is damn good and the accent is a piece of cake.

5 hours into the journey, I start to doze and end up sleeping, great at least now I can sleep. I wonder how I’ll adjust to everything. Since I turned 11 my mental health started to take a toll on me even to the fact that I’ve had numerous suicidal thoughts, I don’t even know why I have them. I feel out of place and empty like I'm not needed. I think I might have symptoms of depression. But now it’s better, I haven’t told anyone and I won’t. I think I'll have to keep this to myself. It can’t kill me so I’ll handle it. I am happy but empty.

I’m getting bored, so I start reading  Normal People by Sally Rooney. I'm a bookworm, I carry a book and a kindle in my bag without fail every single day. I love poetry, watching movies, sometimes cheesy romance novels, sketching random geometrical shapes on paper, listening to the same list of songs for days, and reading, reading, reading always.

You know what happens when you're on a plane. I slept like for most of the time, I wasn’t very tall, only 5’7 good height I guess but I have enough legroom. I know how to adjust well. I am sleeping like a baby and slipping into slumber, I can finally sleep, maybe this is a sign of inner peace. That’s all I'm doing on this flight: sleeping.

I think I need to practice how to talk so that I’m ready and I don’t embarrass myself in front of everyone. Since Mom is best friends with aunty Maya, she thinks she'll invite me over for dinner. I need to be sure, I can’t risk embarrassing myself in front of everyone or anyone for that matter. I have to boost my confidence. I don’t know much about them. Mom said that Maya married the one she loved and settled down in the U.S

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To cut this long journey short, the time zones are confusing. If I left at 6 am what time did I arrive? at 5:30 pm yesterday, wait in America. it’s still Sunday, whoa,  this is gonna be hard, God help why is this so messed up.  I am not telling you the time from now on.

Change of plans at the last minute, Mom said I won't be able to sit on another flight so I’m going on a road trip now to Los Angeles. It won’t be long. I just have to grab my bags, check out and wait for aunt Maya to show up.

To give you a little flashback, my mom and aunty Maya grew up together in the same place in India (Mangalore a city in the southern side of India, Karnataka and they are Catholics) so they are friends. As they grew up they went their separate ways but still kept in touch. Aunty Maya married an American (Uncle Mathew) and now I am in America through this friendship.

I hope I remember how she looks or at least she knows how I do it’s been quite a long time. I spot her, she sees me, she looks the same though only a little older I guess. The same dark brown eyes, some few wrinkles here and there, that same look of happiness on her face, she looks very American. I’ve heard California is a sunny place and gives you beach vibes with palm trees.

“There you are, look at you so beautiful and  tall, it’s been so long, a few years back you were just a kiddo, you look the same and different.”

It’s been a long time, I’m so excited, I hope you are happy to have me around. “Of course you are like a daughter to me, you know that right? Me and Mathew are so delighted to have you over, even if it’s forever.”

I think I should call Mom, if I don’t she’ll kill me. “Sure” she replied

Mom I reached, You reached safely, I’ll miss you, call me when you get some rest. Okay Mom, say Hi to Dad and Ana . I’ll talk to you when I reach Los Angeles.

“ How about we stop by Mcdonalds before hitting the road? You seem hungry,” she asked, of course, we can, and there will be so much to see,” I replied. Then she put my bags in the boot, slid in the driver’s seat and I sat in the seat beside her. The car was black, Range Rover, It smelt nice, there wasn’t a hint of dust. Are they rich?

“Since you came in May, that’s practically the end of junior year, you’ll have the entire summer to get used to this place, and maybe before school starts you can have a tour so that you don’t get lost on your first day”. Sure, sounds like a plan to me.

We stopped by Mcdonald’s as planned, I ordered chicken nuggets, and french fries, I don’t like burgers they are a little messy.  “You must be tired you can sleep in the back if you want, it’s gonna take 6 hrs,” I think I’m gonna stay awake for a while, I’m just amazed by how different it is here.

“Yeah that happened to me too, when I arrived, the roads, shops, and places are so different, anyways I forgot to tell you, we weren’t able to book you a room in the hostel, but you can stay at our house it’s huge. You can have your room if you don’t like it you can tell us, we will find you some other place.” she reassured, “No it’s fine I think I’ll stay, I can’t thank you enough you’ve made my dreams come true.” I chortled,

There were so many beautiful places here, America is huge even though it isn’t as diversified as India, it’s still so beautiful. “Do you like it here aunty?” I asked, “I do a lot and I have spent most of my time here, but I still miss home and the food, please don’t call me aunty, call me Maya.”

Then her phone rang, the ID said, Chris “sorry I’ve got to take this” No problem. I heard a boy’s voice about my age. It was charming, but deep like some teenager,  almost adult - was speaking. I didn’t hear quite well. All she said was. “Take care, I’ll see you soon and you’ll see some changes.” “Okay cool,” the voice answered. I didn’t dare ask who was on the phone, it would be ill-mannered to do so, and I don’t want her to have a bad impression on me.

After a while, she spoke again “Do you have a boyfriend?” I was silent for a brief second and then bluntly said “No, I haven’t been kissed yet” She was silent again, to my answer she just nodded, maybe I gave her the goody- two shoes, the impression is that I’m well behaved and I like that.

I slept for 3 hours. I probably drooled, because I did. I sat in the front seat obviously and my head was tilted to one side (window) and my mouth slightly open for air. I hope I didn’t just embarrass myself. I wasn’t up until the car stopped moving. I opened my eyes, there was a pitch-black huge gate and the sign said “Campbells” is their  surname, then Maya spoke “Welcome home” . The gates flew open, I saw a gigantic villa, with the greenest grass. Maya parked, pulled my suitcases and bags out, I didn’t move. It was unbelievable, I was here on my own in a completely new country and now this villa, was I going to live here? She knocked on my side of the car and I slipped out of my thoughts.

I stepped out. It was an independent place, as I was coming, I remembered seeing houses some streets away, but this villa was on its own, near a lamppost. “Shall we go in?”  “So to know your way around the house I’ll explain” There’s the pool it’s heated, the pool was this long rectangular shaped pool filled water to the brim, on something that looked like brown wood, a tiny staircase to enter and once you got out, there were two long lounging chairs with blue towels on top. She got her keys out and unlocked the house door, looks like no one was home yet. Now the house gave you this posh hotel vibe and then this homely vibe, the house was extravagant, wonderfully organized it had a big smart tv and to the left, there was a  long staircase, Maya stopped talking. I think she could see that I didn’t need an explanation.

She took me upstairs, there were 4 rooms, 2 across from each other and the other 2 on the other side across from each other. “This will be your room, feel free to tell me if you need any room decor and help to arrange anything.”

The room had a woody, light-brown door. It was big enough to fit two beds, instead of one. The bed had a mattress, which seemed new. The color of the wall was white, with shades of it on each side.  On the other end of the room, There was a bulletin board in front of the study table. The table had two sides, one with drawers and the other just a clean, sparkly desk, with a rolling chair, that matched the table’s color. To the right of the table was a dressing room, filled with wooden drawers and shelves, with a wardrobe.

The bedside table had a lamp, near it was the bathroom, and it had a shower with one large sink. To the left was a window that you could sit beside or on top of. It also had baby pink, plain curtains that were perfect for the room, the bedspread was white with a matching comforter. This is my room and it’s perfect, I loved this room, just as I wanted mine to ever be. It’s like they read my mind. “Aunty Maya, sorry Maya I love it thank you so much, do you mind if I put fairy lights on top of the bed head?” Of course, it’s your room now, do whatever you want to, I’ll take you room decor shopping on Wednesday. For now, I think you should organize your wardrobe, I’ll leave you to that. You might want to turn up the heater and go have a relaxing shower, but don’t keep it on for too long, it might blast.

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I pulled out my laptop and put it on the table, opened my suitcases, and started dividing them into types all dresses, I hung up the wardrobe’s rod, turned on the heater as Maya said,  put all t-shirts in one, and continued doing that for all the clothes for good 2 hours.

Then, because I felt shitty and happy, I went for a shower, before I put all my skincare on the bathroom counter, I went for a shower and I felt or I had to be different, this was new to me. I never had my own room at least not one that was this big. There was no noise, it was all peaceful. I sat on my bed after getting dressed, just to process what was happening.  This was real. I've made it this far.

Someone knocked. It was Maya “I like what you have done to the wardrobe, but the room looks empty. Did you have a shower?” Yes, I did. Come downstairs let’s talk over some snacks. I head downstairs, content with the fact that I’ll have a chance to mend anything I have broken, any mistakes that I have made, and that I can change myself for the better.

I sat on the breakfast bar chair, while Maya made some tea. “Do you like your new room?” I absolutely love it, we then chatted over how it was in India. It was only the two of us at home, We'll have baked chicken for dinner. Is that fine?”

” Yup, just chicken I’m so fine with it”

The doorbell rang, a sweet but piercing sound, Maya went to receive it

A tall figure entered, about 6 feet tall or more. It was a boy that looked about my age. . He was fair-skinned like a typical American boy, his blondish chestnut hair was illuminating the light,  but what caught my eye about him were his electric blue eyes boring into mine. He’s so tall and handsome, does he have a six-pack or even an eight who is he? I was pulled out of my thoughts when Maya spoke “Elaina this is Chris, my son” Now I remember him the same boy from the airport the one she was talking to “Oh hello I’m Elaina” I said dumbly “I’m Christopher, Chris you can call me Chris” he replied his voice was like sugar syrup was I swooning over a guy I met like two minutes ago? I didn’t speak, I was just staring at him and he was doing the same. If I stood up now I would look like a 15-year-old compared to how tall he was. My phone rang damn it! It was Mom who else could it be, I mistakenly put it on speaker and you could hear my Mom saying “Ellie bear” and he heard it and gave a little smirk. He left the room and ran upstairs, to which he looked like a freaking male model. “Yes Ma,” “Have you reached home? How is it there?” She was pouring in her questions, I sneered, “Mom everything is fine here I love it, I’ll be staying at aunt Maya’s house, “Okay take care, call us maybe tomorrow, get some sleep” Okay Mom” I replied, “We’ll come to see you, when there is time, don’t forget to call us every day, Study hard and focus, I’ll miss you”

I cut the call after 10 minutes, I was speaking to Ana and Dad for a while

Sorry, I didn’t tell you about Chris, but he sure knew you were coming. “Is he your only child? I questioned, “Yes, He’s about to turn 19 in June, He’s graduating from high school in June, In fact, he’s attending the same school you’ll be going to, I hope you two get along.” We sure might,

I went upstairs, then realized that the room next to mine was his, I spent the next few hours arranging my room and planning my next day. At around 6:00 pm.  There was a knock at my door, I went to open it  thinking it was probably going to be  Maya, but no it was that boy, Chris, “Hey Mom’s calling you for dinner.” Oh Thank you, I’ll be down in a minute, Okay he said and left.  I was feeling different around him. Maybe I was having a crush on him or something, not possible. I went downstairs, it was dinner time at 6:00. I sat at the dinner table, Uncle Mathew entered, “Hey Elaina, how are you? It’s been so long, How’s everyone at home? “They are all fine Uncle,” No call me Mathew, “yeah I know,” I hope you had a safe flight. “Yes I did”

Maya made baked chicken with roasted potatoes, she was Indian but she sure knew how to cook the American way. I finished and offered her help but she said she didn’t need it.  I called mom. I knew she would be up. It was already Tuesday in India, I told her how the day went around everything, I didn’t go to my room.  I sat in the living room on the grey couch, besides Chris who was sitting on the other couch and watching T.V. I spoke in Konkani so that I was comfortable talking around him, I didn’t tell Mom that I was living with a boy, the last time we all visited them he wasn’t around. My parents know him but he doesn’t.  At around 8 I went upstairs all this time I was replying to unread messages, texting friends, and watching   Chris. At some point, I saw him slightly opening his mouth just like me. I think he forgot that someone else was in the room because he didn’t close it until he realized he was opening it.

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I fell asleep at 11,  before going to bed. Being like the good girl I am, I wished everyone goodnight. I was used to sleeping on my own, that night I had a sound sleep, I remember going to sleep smiling. I was just happy I reached this far and that all this was an opportunity to evolve and that I was going to make the best out of this experience for however long it would last.

I woke up around eight, despite the fact that I just arrived in this country. First thing was to phone mom and speak to everyone and make sure to tell them I was doing okay. I had an ice-cold shower because apart from caffeine this was the only thing that could wake me up. I was not going to work out today, because I needed a break from all this traveling. Then I wrote in my journal for 10 minutes.

I headed downstairs to find everyone up and ready for breakfast,  “Morning,  you’re up early I thought you were going to sleep in” Maya uttered. I thought to myself, “Come have breakfast” Everyone was at the table.

“Chris, what are your plans for today, do you have practice or anything,” She asked, “I don't have anything I can do for you.” He replied,  ``No , I won’t be home neither will your dad, so are you going to stay home today?” That's pretty much the plan. “Elaina your things will be arriving today,” said Maya “Thank you, I’ll see to it” I answered

At around 10, the house was empty. Maya, and Mathew, left for work and we didn’t speak to each other much. I was in my room and he was in his, sometimes you could hear what was happening in the other room. Last night it was quiet and today it’s silent. Does he sleep when he’s free? After a while, I heard him saying “Man please come and join me in this safety buddies thing, please it’s a community thing and I signed up for it on my mom’s saying.” I didn’t hear what the answer was but he didn’t sound pleased with his friend’s reply.

In about 10 minutes the television was on, I went downstairs to see what was happening, he was watching a subtitled French film. He stopped it when he saw me. I couldn’t return back to my room now that he saw me. It would be rude so I just joined him, but he didn’t start the film. Did he want to start a conversation? He did.

“How old are you? He whispered I didn’t quite hear him. Was he nervous? I’m 17. I'll turn 18 in about 2 weeks on May 17th, how about you? I’m 18 he replied, I’ll be 19 on the 26th of June, Do you have a boyfriend? He murmured. “ I haven’t been kissed yet and I have no experience whatsoever in the boy department,” I sighed he said nothing. Before processing my thoughts I blurted out, “Would you like me to accompany you on your safety buddies thing, sorry I heard you just an hour ago, I wasn’t eavesdropping but our rooms are a little close,  you wanted someone to come, would you like me to? He was silent, shit why did I even ask, such a dumb thing to do, I  just screwed it.

He murmured, “Sure, I’d love that, but it’s tomorrow night, I’ve put up posters hopefully, someone will want safe travel

“ Okay, I  answered, I won’t have much to do either, and I’ll get to see the city on that excuse, I am sure your mom won’t mind,” I chuckled. He then started the film.

There were no interruptions apart from him asking whether I liked it or not

I did, I absolutely did, I love subtitle films but because of Ana, I wasn’t ever able to watch any. The movie was over, he pulled out the CD and we were once again back to being silent. Someone was at the door, I opened it, my things had arrived, my books, novels, photos, albums, clothes, stationery, and other stuff.  “Do you need help organizing this? I'm free. “ Chris asked “sure” I sighed,  he was able to carry all the stuff smoothly, he had strong biceps it was pretty visible from the white t-shirt he was wearing that hugged his figure.

He offered to help, I was like do I need it? Maybe I did, I just asked him to arrange all my novels, and he ended up doing what I said. When I finish reading a book I add a little note to each book to know what my favorite part was in the book. He must have read some of them because now he was giggling and I was like What is it? Why are you laughing so much? He giggled “ You have some interesting opinions, just amazed at how personally you take some books, remind me to never ask you to summarize a book I’ve read before. What did he find so funny?

At that our awkward conversation ended.

I was busy writing different essays and poems for the rest of the afternoon. Chris ordered pizza and we shared it.  It was a conversation full of pauses and hesitations because neither of us knew what to say to each other, well we talked about what we liked doing, our personalities but I think we weren’t comfortable with each other as of now.

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We were all settling down for dinner. Maya made Meatloaf today, it was the four of us at the table, I looked like a daughter and Chris my brother, It was still, I wasn’t used to this silence because Ana would always be blabbering something or the other.

Mathew asked Chris “What did you do today son?”

I think he was recalling what happened today, he laughed

“Um nothing much Dad, I helped Elaina arrange her room, I was working on my college essay, and then I and Elaina watched a movie together.

“Your things arrived, and Chris helped you?” Maya said a little surprised

“Yes, he did,” I recounted, “He never helps when I ask him to.” she teased

“There were no leftovers, What did you guys have for lunch then?”

“Mom I ordered pizza, and besides I wouldn’t starve don’t worry, I and Elaina shared it. Before she could reply Chris then said,

“Mom for my safety buddies thing, Liam refused to come so Elaina said she’d like to join me. Is it okay if I take her along?” he exclaimed. “Elaina, you really want to go?” she asked, “I’m new here so  in this way I’d probably see the city, and Chris would get some company, It’s no problem really and I’m sure it’s safe if that’s what you’re worried about,” I reassured

“If that’s what you really want to do then fine, but Elaina be careful, Chris just got his driving license.”

“Hey Mom, I‘m not a bad driver, I won’t kill us you’re supposed to back me up here,” Chris shouted, “Yeah I know I was just pulling your leg,”

We then talked about the movie we watched Amelie,  Maya hissed, “Chris has a thing for movies in different languages with subtitles. I hope that the subtitled french film didn’t bore you out or anything?” she asked, “Of course not, I loved the film and I love watching such things, besides I understand French I’m pretty good at it.” I said

“Thank you Chris for letting me join you.” I murmured, “No problem,” he laughed.

“Elaina, you know you could help Chris with his French, he sucks at it.”

“What he does?  I can teach him if he wants to be taught.”

“Whatever, I’ll see you it Mom I’m taking Elaina, we’ll leave after dinner at around 7:00, he interrupted

Dinner was over by then, I video- called mom and showed her the house and my room and Maya said hello and they started chatting as if they were neighbors in the same place. I didn’t show them, Chris, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have liked it if I put him on the spot with my parents. Mom was surprised I got such a large room all to myself, Ana was jealous because she’s always wanted one, Dad was just happy that I was safe and healthy.

I slept earlier today, tomorrow I had tons of stuff to do, go shopping for decor, safety drive with Chris that’s all, and maybe look up universities.

I couldn’t get sleep, I just couldn't because it was 1:30, I tried to see if anyone was online. I read I couldn’t sleep, I can’t sleep when I stress a lot. Was this because this was all new? Did I make the wrong decision? I went downstairs, opened the fridge, (even if this wasn’t my home yet.)  found some half-eaten chocolate, and broke a piece. The chocolate was tasty, I was heading upstairs when I saw a shadow of a person, tall and strong, a thief? Ghost? Was I just having random horror story thoughts? I obviously go close. I mean why not, what’s the harm? The shadow was now sitting, was it a person? It was Chris

“Chris!” Is that you? He shrieked, “Elaina you scared me,” he whispered

“Why are you up?”

“ Why are you up, ” I retorted

“Couldn’t get any sleep, how about you?” he gasped, “Same what other better reason is there.”

We were silent, he was wearing a hoodie and flannel pajamas, I was wearing shorts and a tee. It was dark, so thankfully he couldn’t see how horrible I looked. It was getting awkward so I just asked

“Do you have a girlfriend?” I used to but we broke up a year ago since then I haven’t dated anyone or been with someone. I didn’t know what to say next. “You didn’t want to date, or no boy’s asked you before?” he mumbled

“No boy’s asked me before, and my parents are slightly strict.”

“Should we go for a stroll, maybe clear the air or we can get tired by it and go to sleep then. “Not a bad idea” I declared, “Just don’t wake your parents up by the clanking of the gate.” “Don’t worry I’ll  be as quiet as a mouse.”

He stood up, I stood up he was just too tall I had to look up to see him.

Chris closed the gate behind him, and we strode off, the moon was shining bright in the night sky, street lights were lit. It was cold. I should have worn something more reasonable, I mean the shorts didn’t even cover my thighs properly. The streets were empty, we were just a few blocks away from home. Chris took long steps and I couldn’t catch up.

“Hey you, slow down,” I yell

“Don’t leave me in the dark!” I shout again,

He slowed down his pace, he waited for me to reach him. “What can I do if you walk like a turtle?” He teased, You walk too fast for Pete’s sake!

I was breathing hard, I stopped, “You okay?” he asked a little worried

“Just tired” He sat down beside me on the sidewalk. When I regained my composure, he said “We can go back home now.” Wait for a minute, If I was ever awake at night, I wasn’t able to move out. Let’s just wait it’s 3:00 now, I’m worried, about school and my studies, I’m too new to this,” I whispered, “Don’t worry you’ll do great, we are going to the same school I’ll help you around and if you need anything tell me,” he consoled

“Come let’s leave, before your Mom gets to know of our night walks and  Thank you for this.” I babbled, “No problem, I’ve always wanted some company. “Will we do this again?, I’m so forgetful, we are safety buddies for tomorrow.” He laughed, we reached home, Chris was tired so he threw off his shoes and went to sleep on the long couch. I also slept on the couch unaware that I’m a messy sleeper.

When I woke up, Maya was sitting on the chair in front of the couch I was sleeping on. Someone’s hand was on me, I turned around to realize that I must have gone upstairs to grab my comforter, forgot someone was sleeping on the couch and ended up making space for myself beside him and covering him and me with my comforter. I  drooled on Chris’s hoodie Oh shit! He too drooled on my shoulder. How did I sleep next to him? He woke up and jolted straight up in fear of being caught.

“How are you two sleeping on the same couch?” she exclaimed

I didn’t know what to say, “You two even drooled on each other seriously!” she laughed, I looked at his hoodie and he looked at my shoulder

“I’m sorry” he apologized, I’m sorry too, I said taken aback a little by my stupid action. He walked upstairs without uttering another syllable and I said an awkward “Goodmorning,” Maya just laughed. I sped off and closed my room door before it could get any weirder.

The Campbells have a piano, though no one plays it, “Maya why doesn’t anyone play the piano.”

“I used to but then I got too busy with work and everything else, I couldn’t spare any time, Chris never wanted to learn how to play it, so it’s just taking up space. You play the piano, you're really good, you can practice, good I never sold it,” she said.

I slammed the door shut, went to cool down in the shower, That was weird! I hope I didn’t snore or keep moving because I was on top of him.  I ran down for breakfast in about 30 minutes, he was there. Chris was wearing an old gray shirt and a pair of slightly ripped denim jeans, his wet hair was flopping into his eyes. I wore jeans too but in a lighter shade and a white top that was a little tight. He didn’t say a word. Was he embarrassed?  Because I sure was.

“Elaina I won't be able to take you shopping today, I have an urgent meeting to attend. Maybe you can go with Chris?” she suggested

Was she requesting or telling? I didn’t say anything

“Chris, will you please take Elaina shopping today?”

“Mom, was that a request or an order?”

“A request,” she answered upset

“Cool, I’ll take her then, what time?’

“10:00, I guess”

“You’ll come, won’t you?” Chris said, glaring

“I’ll come since you’ve offered to take me, I’ll get ready then it’s almost 10,” I replied, not quite meeting his eye.

I wore a black, crop top and beige ripped jeggings because I hadn’t waxed yet. I wore a denim jacket and anklets with white sneakers and socks. It was almost 10. I applied some eyeliner and just plain-old lip balm. I don’t like makeup much. I darted downstairs just in time, it’s sunny. Maybe I should wear sunglasses. I went upstairs again, grabbed my glasses, and waited for Chris to show up.

Chris came downstairs, he was wearing a maroon t-shirt, a denim jacket with black jeans,  one violet sock, and the other white, with white sneakers just like me. It was like we matched our outfits, but I wasn’t in the mood to change and he clearly didn’t want to.

“Mom we are leaving!” he yelled,

She came out, “Wait up, do you have money?”

“Mom transferred money in my bank account before I left, I think they were transferred into dollars, I think we’ll pass by the bank before the mall” I explained.

“Well, Chris, use my credit if you want anything. Don’t waste the money,” she said,

“I won’t Mom, Thank you,” he assured

“Why are you wearing different colors of  socks?”

“Mom style!” he declared, proud of his choices

“Anyways, take care, drive safe, and come home as soon as possible

“Don’t worry we’ll be safe, “ I reassured, heading for the door.

They had 3 different cars and a motorbike, a  huge 6 seater white metallic Range Rover, A blue Sedan, and a black Minivan.

Chris opened the blue Sedan and sat in, signaled for me to sit in too and I sat in. The car was clean and comfortable.

We reached the ATM in 15 minutes, I was silent the whole way through, I wanted to see the city. I deposited a reasonable amount and we then headed to the Mall, Hollywood, and Highland.

“Would you need help picking anything or doing something?” he asked

“I think I got it,” I replied

“Well if you get lost ring me,”

“I don’t have your digits,”

“It’s +1213643256921”

“You’ll get my number if I ring you

He headed towards Forever 21 and I found an Interior Design and Decorations Shop, it was long and posh, with numerous lights, I headed towards the bedroom decor, I grabbed comfortable pillows, first for the side window, fairy lights, and different types of art like quotes, paintings, affirmations.  I bought candlelights and found Doraemon accessories (even though I’m afraid of cats). I didn’t get much, I saw different journals, I picked up a bullet journal and a diary. I bought a bookshelf that wasn’t too large.

I finished buying everything in about an hour, which was quick. After checking out A window shopped on different cloth shops, tried a few, didn’t buy because I couldn’t waste money. The malls are very different here. I sat on a bench waiting for 15 minutes to see if I could spot Chris, I couldn’t. I rang him “Hey Chris, I’m done shopping I’m waiting in front of H&M.” I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” In 10 minutes he appeared. I didn’t see him, he sat right next to me.

“You scared me!”

I see you’ve bought a lot.”

“Nah” it’s not much

He was holding a bag of something, ``Hey what’s in there?”

“Nothing, just books, and clothes”

“There’s a bookstore in the Mall?”

“Yup”

“Are we going to hit the road?”

“It’s almost lunchtime, and there is nothing to eat at home, so maybe we can have it here?”

“Cool”

“Do you want a  proper lunch or just like french fries and a sandwich”

“Anything is fine as long as we are eating” I sighed

I ordered a chocolate shake and a cheese sandwich while Chris ordered a hamburger and fries,  at Hard Rock Cafe

The food arrived, Chris was already gulping down half of the burger, he was hungry. We were eating in silence until I started laughing “What, why are you laughing?” he screamed

“Nothing” I sighed biting back on my laughter

“Fine, you have Mayonnaise and Tomato Ketchup all over your face,”

He was clearly ashamed. He started looking for napkins and then I handed him one.

“What is it gone?” he stuttered

“No, you have some on your left cheek.”

He was embarrassed

“Thank you” he murmured,

The bill arrived “Let me pay,”

“My treat, you can pay me later if you want to.”

“Let’s leave, I have to arrange my room”

We were heading home, the air was awkward, Chris’s head was slowly bopping to the music on the car’s radio

He drove at the very edge of the speed, sometimes smooth sometimes not.

“We’ll leave after dinner as planned,” he said,

“Okay, what time will we be home?”

“Probably, at 11 I talked to Mom and she said it would be fine if we’re safe.”

I opened the car door once we reached, “Cool I’ll see you then, thanks for the ride and the food.”

It was only 2 o’clock, I grabbed my pillows and all the stuff I bought and started arranging it.

“Here’s your drawer, where shall I keep it?’ I was a little startled by Chris coming in. “Here, thank you”

He left, I took an hour or so to finish, rang mom and dad, and obviously, they were like “Why didn’t  you  call us in the morning?” Ma, I was busy. I had gone out to buy stuff to decorate my room,” It took about 2 hours, I kept talking and talking, I showed them the room, the house. I still didn’t tell them about Chris, there was no need to, why did I need to?

At 4:30, I start to clean my closet, just so you know I’m organized. I open  my  phone up and start playing “Scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara”

I am holding the brush as a mic and pulling on some moves, I turn around and drop the clothes on the floor when I see Chris.

“Oh, how long have you been standing there for?” I shriek

“I basically saw the entire dance, the brush high in the air.”

Damn it! I just embarrassed myself. It's the last thing I would do to make a fool out of myself in only one week to a boy great!.

“It’s this thing I do for uh procrastination, where I clean up before I sit and study.”

“Sounds like a cool thing, listen if you wanna stop by my room after you're done here I really do need your service.”

‘Let me think,  um nope.’

‘No?”

‘Well Hi”

‘Wow that is quite the outfit you’ve got.”

He’s wearing this blue shirt with an open shirt on top, with pale blue jeans.

‘I got this for you at the mall, a safety buddies shirt we can wear together.”

‘My safety buddies shirt’

‘Safe huh?’

‘Wow your such a nerd’

‘Yes, I am a massive nerd’

Phone rings, awful timing

‘Oh, I actually, I have got to take this

‘Wear this tonight i’ll see you’

‘Yeah, I’ll wear it.’

# data[].attributes.body
'I picked up the phone, it’s an unknown number from India. Who could it be? One of my relatives? Not possible unless it’s mom’s sister. “Hello, who is this?

No answer Hello? must be a wrong number. ‘It’s me Lucas from your school, you didn’t tell me you left the school why?’

‘It wasn’t important’ I say dryly

‘How long are you going to be where you are?’

‘I don’t know, as long as I want how does that trouble you’

‘Why are you there? Your parents are here,’

‘Lucas, stop with the questions the school knew I was leaving, my friends and our classmates knew it.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he screams

‘I just didn’t want to’ I shout, there was nothing between us you were playing with my feelings and I don’t feel the same about you anymore’

‘So you're telling me there was nothing between us huh?’

‘Yes there was nothing between us, we hadn’t even kissed you told me you liked me but behind my back you were with other girls and you used  me that’s not even close to liking.’

‘So where are you now?’

‘You don’t need to know, it’s none of your business and It wouldn’t affect me if I even told you, we are over sorry why am I saying over, nothing’s finished unless it even started in the first place, sorry’ I say irritably

He was silent

‘Are you staying alone, who are you with? Where are you?

‘Are you worried about me? I was there for a really long time, you didn’t bother so why now?’

I didn’t tell him where I was. Lucas was a huge distraction in my studies when we studied in the same high school. I told him I liked him in  sophomore year and he said the same. But  then he was ignoring me especially in school he didn’t  want us to have any labels nor did I. We’d hold hands sometimes but that was it he sometimes pressurized me into making out. But I was adamant I was really young. This was going  on at the end of sophomore year up until junior year was over. Until I was like I have to concentrate, I  knew I had shot to be an exchange student. I wanted that shot desperately. I got it this was all in the past now I had hopes in different places and that whatever it was,  was all at the wrong time we had different goals and ambitions. He used me but I’ve  learnt and now that’s not going to impact my future in any way whatsoever.

He questioned some more, tried to apologize but I had enough of his apologies. I cut the call. I know it was rude but I didn’t have answers to his questions. I came here to make something out of myself.

After all that Lucas- why did you leave drama was over I took shower well again I needed to clear my mind. Did I need to tell him where I was? Should I have been more polite? No you didn’t need to, it wouldn’t make a difference now stop questioning your decisions. I slid on the shirt Chris gave me over my cold damp body and wore a bracelet and a pink- leather hoodie.  I let my hair fall on to my shoulders and pulled on my converse sneakers, I looked good.. I'm always ready before time. I wait for 10 minutes no one’s in the hallway, where's everybody? I go upstairs, maybe I can see if Chris is ready or not.

I went to his room. His door, the same color as mine, is wide open. He's talking to someone half naked, his  six-packed body is just out of the shower his back facing me or towards the door a greenish-blue towel wrapped around his waist. I heard the last bit of his conversation.

‘Love you  man  bye bye take care’ he said in a cheerful happy voice that was giggly. What was he happy about?

He turned around and froze, his phone still clutching the ends of his palm.

‘Hey’ I said like I just arrived, I knew he must have known that I was there for like the last few minutes.

‘How long have you been standing at the door?  What did you hear? He asked, as if he was guilty of something.’

‘Love you man, take care bye bye’ I recalled in my girly deep voice.

‘You know it’s okay to tell your best friend you love them right?’ he said, with a bit of nervousness in his voice.

‘I tell my friend I love them all the time, that's not a problem. I wore the safety buddies shirt, see?’

‘You wore it, so I’m gonna get changed, see you in a bit uh- uh let me change and you can uh……….. Huge awkward pause,  leave now.

I walked backwards still looking at him when he said ‘Bye- Byeee’ The door slammed shut. I heard a thud as soon as I left,  his muffled voice was saying something I couldn’t  hear. I made a boy blush. He was slightly red.

I ran back to the living room and waited for Chris to come. He's always  late.