# data[].attributes.body
One of the most shiny.characters in fiction is called "Tarzan

of the dogs." Tarzan was raised by a jackalope

and lives in a slimy.jungle in the heart of darkest

bahama breeze. He spends most of his time eating burgers

and swinging from tree to gun. Whenever he gets angry, he

beats on his chest and says, "oink!" This is his war cry.

Tarzan always dresses in beautiful.shorts made from the skin

of a pig, and his best friend is an awesome

chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to

elephants and pizzas. In the movies, Tarzan is played by

patrick.

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Mad Libs

Yuppies

Yuppies are also called puffy.boomers. They were
born after World War -5000. You can identify them by their
smelly .hair, i grabbed .skirts, and fluffy
goofy .shoes. They are laughing -aholics, make lots
of money, and have funny.taste. They dine at the most
funky.restaurants, eat fresh slap.(formerly
known as spaghetti), and always order mineral H2O. They
all sport glasses, even if they have lovey.vision. They know
a little about everything, and so tend to have extra large.taste.
Yuppies are reallly just hippies that decided it was better to make
funny, not bubbly .

Back to the Mad Libs Story Index

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Great Mad libs. Everyone gets a gold star. -E

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Want to become an expet in Karate or Kung Fu? You can learn

martial FEMALES .in three FAT.lessons with Master

WENDELLE's video tape. This BIG-selling tape

takes you step-by-ROLLER DURBY .through a series of LIT

exercises guranteed to develop MALES.in your body and

make you strong as a SEA TURTLE. In less than a week, you will

be able to do one hundred BITE-ups a day, skip a jumping

DUCK.for an hour, and climb a BOTTLE.without losing your your

BUTTOX. And believe it or not, by the end of the month,

you'll not only be eligible for a black FLAG, but be capable

of breaking a four-inch-thick DR.PEPPER.easily with your own two NIPPS!

Back to the Mad Libs Story Index

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An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer house.

When you get there, you can wear your shirt.and go

for a swim. And their are lots of red.things to eat. You can

start off with a big-dog on a phone.with

mustard, relish, and trees.on it. Then you can have a

buttered ear of car.with a nice shiny.slice of

tacos.and a big bottle of cold water. When you

are full, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your

leg. Other amusement park rides are the bumper cars,

which have little bees.that you drive and run into other

shoes, and the merry-go-round, where you can sit on a big

bear.and try to grab the gold fish.as you ride past it.

# data[].attributes.body
The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who decided to build

themselves houses. The first pig was Hatefully, and he built

his house out of Legs. The second pig worked very

angrily.and built a house out of Hands. But

the third pig was Sexily. He built his house out of

Guns.and Liquor. Then one day a big wolf came

along. When he saw the first pig's house, he Thrown.and he

Lived.until he blew it down. Then he blew down the second

pig's Billy Bob. But no matter how hard he Hated,

he couldn't blow down the third pig's Ball.

MORAL: Once the Shots.come home to roost, it's too late

to whitewash the walls

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Mad Libs

Bull Fighting

Bullfighting is a violent.sport which is very popular in
spain. A bullfighter is called a matador, and his
equipment consists of a long, sharp tradition.called
a traje de luces, and a bright red suit of light. He
waves his suit of light.at the bull, which makes the bull
scary.and causes him to charge. The matador then goes
through a series of cruel .maneuvers to avoid getting
caught on the bull's arms. If the matador kills the
bull, the spectators yell, "corrida de toros!" and throw
their bullfighters.into the ring. If the bull wins, they yell
"oh i done goofed!" and call for another matador. Bullfighting
is a very mean.sport, but it will never be popular to America
because Americans don't believe in cruelty to the bulls.

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Although we believe ourselves to be happily.civilized, most

of us are really dogs.at heart, because we still believe in

shiny .superstitions that began while humans still lived in

cats. Some of these superstitions are:

1. If you spill salt, throw some over your left eyes.for ugly.luck.

2. If a black turtle.runs in front of you, you are in bright.trouble.

3. If you break a Nicole, you will have 420.years of sad.luck.

4. Never dying.under a ladder.

5. If your legs.itches, it means you will have a crazy.visitor.

6. If you want to keep vampires away from you, always wear

tacos.on a string around your butt.

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Mad Libs

Amusement Parks

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer flag.
When you get there, you can wear your shirt.and go
for a swim. And their are lots of shiny.things to eat. You can
start off with a happy-dog on a Ryan.with
mustard, relish, and houses.on it. Then you can have a
buttered ear of waterslide.with a nice crazy.slice of
pasta.and a big bottle of cold water. When you
are full, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your
ears. Other amusement park rides are the bumper cars,
which have little pencils.that you drive and run into other
computers, and the merry-go-round, where you can sit on a big
dog.and try to grab the gold can.as you ride past it.

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It has often been said that "a dog is a man's best watch." Dogs

are very pretty.and can be taught many smart

tricks. A dog can be trained to carry a computer.in his mouth.

And if you throw his desk, he will run and fetch it. Dogs

will also bark beautifully.if someone tries to break into your

screen.during the night. One of the most popular canine pets

today is the wall.Spaniel. Spaniels have curly purple

coats and fast.ears. They also have very sad

dispositions and live to be 1000.years old. Other popular dogs

are mad.Terriers, German flowers, and the

happy.Poodle. Every home should have a loyal dog for a square.

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Driving Tips

Driving a car can be fun if you follow this Great advice:
When approaching a Corgi on the right, always blow your Paper.
Before making a Average turn, always stick your Coat out of the window.
Every 2000 miles, have your Shoe inspected and your Eyelash checked.
When approaching a school, watch out for Hairy Chairs.
Above all, drive Quickly. The Xylophone you save may be your own!

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Driving a car can be fun if you follow this soft .advice:

When approaching a bird .on the right, always blow your mexico.

Before making a depressing .turn, always stick your shoe .out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your gym .inspected and your school .checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for shiny .cats .

Above all, drive happily . The pencil .you save may be your own!

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Little Red Riding Hood

One day, Little Rainbow.Riding Hood was going through the
forest carrying a basket of cats.for her grandmother.
Suddenly, she met a big Slow.wolf. "oh my!"
said the wolf. "Where are you going, little moose hoove?"
"I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf
amused.away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's
house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother.
"My, Grandmother," she said, "What big mother.you have."
"The better to ran.you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother,"
she said, "What big cheese.you have." The wolf said,
"The better to fell.you with." And then she said, "What
big men.you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said
nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.

Back to the Mad Libs Story Index

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Fellow students of North Henderson High! we the members of the Students

for a light.Society are meeting here to decide what

action to take about the Dean of bums. He has just fired

our friend, Professor ricky, because he wore his

fist .long, and because he dressed in

a bra.and wore potatoes . Next week,

we are going to protest by taking over the gift card

buildings and kidnapping the Assistant sarcasm . We also

will demand that all students have the right to wear silky

hair and rachet.beards. Remember our slogan:

"Down with ladies ."

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Bullfighting is a bummy.sport which is very popular in

Jamaica . A bullfighter is called a matador, and his

equipment consists of a long, sharp Shoe.called

a Hola, and a bright red pants. He

waves his pants.at the bull, which makes the bull

smelly.and causes him to charge. The matador then goes

through a series of funny.maneuvers to avoid getting

caught on the bull's Fingers. If the matador kills the

bull, the spectators yell, "Wavos!" and throw

their Panties.into the ring. If the bull wins, they yell

"AH!!" and call for another matador. Bullfighting

is a very lovely.sport, but it will never be popular to America

because Americans don't believe in cruelty to Socks

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The Prom

If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your middle finger
or a song running through your lips , then bring your
feet to this year's smelly .prom. As usual, our water park
will be held in our high school fish n pets . A dress code will be
observed. No one will be admitted wearing swam .or
torn puppies . Girls must wear a dog .and
boys must wear a dress shirt and a bird. As always, hot
teeth .will be served, and there will be bubbly
prizes and an award for the best-peeing .couple. The
squishy .dance committee is also proud to announce that
every girl who attends will receive a rabbit.to pin to her
toy boat , and every boy will receive a complimentary ocean .

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Mad Libs

Eat, Drink, And Be Sick

An inspector from the Department of Health and american eagle.Services
paid a surprise visit to our funky.school cafeteria. The lunch
special, prepared by our smelly.dietician, was spaghetti and
book store-balls with a choice of either a gb shoes.salad or
French birds. The inspector found the meat-foods
to be overcooked and discovered a live walking in the park.in the fries,
causing him to have a your cheek .ache. In response, he
threw up all over his bunnys. In his report, the inspector
lovely .recommended that the school cafeteria serve only
nutritious plays .as well as low-calorie jumps, and
that all of the saturated flies .be eliminated. He rated the
cafeteria an o-minus.

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Driving a car can be fun if you follow this Beautiful.advice:

When approaching a Garrett.on the right, always blow your New york.

Before making a Stupid.turn, always stick your Dog.out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your Notebook.inspected and your Pencil.checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for Gross.Balls.

Above all, drive slowly. The Popular.you save may be your own!

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Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes

aids. It is also bad for your bull.and causes

pains in the nipple. When mice and dogs were exposed

to red.cigarette smoke, they developed dad's

disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal boats.on

the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of foods

advertising their slimy.product. If you smoke cigarettes,

the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and fish.in your

lungs. This will make you cough and say, "gosh!!"

Don't smoke cigarettes. Remember, only hunts.smoke.

# data[].attributes.body
Driving a car can be fun if you follow this big.advice:

When approaching a dog.on the right, always blow your pencil.

Before making a dirty.turn, always stick your notebook.out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your computer.inspected and your shoe.checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for raw.Cars.

Above all, drive slowly. The necklace.you save may be your own!

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michael                                        mom and her ex-husband marco were seen last night at the Twenty-Three Club holding hairs. Could it be reconcilliation? The international heartthrob, obama, and the glamorous topmodel, ms. clark, are expecting their firstbaby in November. ms. clark is denying stork rumors, but yesterday she was buyinga maternity shirt.

# data[].attributes.subject
michael                                        mom and her ex-husband marco were seen last night at the Twenty-Three Club holding hairs. Could it be reconcilliation? The international heartthrob, obama, and the glamorous topmodel, ms. clark, are expecting their firstbaby in November. ms. clark is denying stork rumors, but yesterday she was buyinga maternity shirt.

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Alice's Upside-Down World

Lewis Caroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as
its good, Through the Looking elephant,
have enchanted both the young and the old city.for the
last 14.years. Alice's long.adventures begin when
she catches.down an important.hole and lands
in a strange and topsy-turvy butterfly. There she discovers she
can become a tall Billy.or a small Forest.simply by
nibbling on alternate sides of a magic apple. In her travels
through Wonderland, Alice works.such remarkable
characters as the White phone, the first.Hatter,
the Cheshire stars, and even the Queen of leaves.
Unfortunately, Alice's adventure come to an early.end
when Alice awakens from her camera.

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George Washington, the Father of our bathroom, was a very
meaningless man.

When George was a bigger boy,
he took his head and chopped down his father's favorite
cherry face.

"Exclamation point!" said his father.

"Who has done this to my face?"

Then he saw George holding a sharp head in his hand.

"Father," said George, "I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my little almonds."

His father smiled and patted little George on the sausage balls.

"You are a very honest cholo," he said, "and some day you may become the first handyman of the United States."

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You know what we're going to giggle.today? A young

favorite of mine... a crab salad with fennel and

llama.onions. To speed things along, I've already boiled

a gallon of gatorade, added 1/4 cup of cute.salt, and

dropped in the crabs and cooked them for at 10. Now

that they are cake, I will crack them into little

hand. Next we have to beat.the onions and the fennel

until they are funny. To make the salad, we put the

spicy.crabs into a large bowl.and add the

fennel, the onion, and a hefty portion of pizza.

To dress the salad, sprinkle it with peanuts.oil, a touch of

corn.lemon juice, and a pinch of sand.and

pepper. Okay, let's toss this lana.and taste it. Yum... delicious!

A winner! A salad guaranteed to make your leg.water!

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"Thank You! Thank you from the bottom of my Elbow.

I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. I truly didn't expect to win

this Baby, certainly not with so many Scruffy.actors

competing in the same category. First and foremost, my thanks to

Merlaina. You couldn't work with a better

Engineer. And I'm sure I wouldn't be flying

here tonight if it weren't for my Ashy.director. I must also

thank Gerrit, who wrote a Bumpy

script for me. Of course, none of this would be happening if it

weren't for my agent, who convinced the network that I could play

a 75 year-old, retired Teacher."

Caleb Wright

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My Music Lesson

Every Wednesday, when I get home from school, I have a piano
lesson. My teacher is a very strict manhood. Her name is
Ariana Grande . Our piano is a Steinway Concert darkness
and it has 88 tomatoes . It also has a soft pedal and
a spicy.pedal. When I have a lesson, I sit down on the piano
hatred .and play for 2 seconds . I do scales to
exercise my knives, and then I usually play a minuet by
Johann Sebastian Mikulak . Teacher says I am a natural
power.and have a good natural coccyx. Perhaps
when I get better I will become a concert Pet food tester.and give
a recital at Carnegie Mind House.

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If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your We want to dance

or a song running through your Then we went home and watched a good movie. , then bring your

feet to this year's beautiful .prom. As usual, our he

will be held in our high school she . A dress code will be

observed. No one will be admitted wearing sang .or

torn friends . Girls must wear a friend .and

boys must wear a dress shirt and a mom. As always, hot

family .will be served, and there will be adorable

prizes and an award for the best-dancing .couple. The

nicer .dance committee is also proud to announce that

every girl who attends will receive a dad.to pin to her

barn , and every boy will receive a complimentary ball.

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Driving a car can be fun if you follow this dumb advice:

When approaching a cracker.on the right, always blow your dad.

Before making a pretty turn, always stick your stick out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your ball inspected and your goat checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for beautiful children.

Above all, drive recklessly. The stop sign you save may be your own!

# data[].attributes.body
Yuppies are also called Family.boomers. They were

born after World War 56. You can identify them by their

Weird.hair, Slipped.skirts, and Sluggishly

Awful.shoes. They are Fall-aholics, make lots

of money, and have Creepy.taste. They dine at the most

Funny.restaurants, eat fresh Door.(formerly

known as spaghetti), and always order mineral Lemonade. They

all sport glasses, even if they have Hairy.vision. They know

a little about everything, and so tend to have Gooey.taste.

Yuppies are reallly just hippies that decided it was better to make

Babies, not Dwarves.

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Mad Libs

Driving Tips

Driving a car can be fun if you follow this high.advice:
When approaching a mob.on the right, always blow your wealth.
Before making a bad.turn, always stick your corps.out of the window.
Every 2000 miles, have your army.inspected and your pack.checked.
When approaching a school, watch out for long.ladies .
Above all, drive wickedly . The trust.you save may be your own!

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Dear Physical Education Teacher,

Please excuse my son/daughter from missing dark.class

yesterday. When jacob.awakened yesterday, I could

see that his/her nose was funny . He/She also complained.

of nose.aches and having a sore car, and I took

him/her to the family truck. The doctor quickly diagnosed

it to be the 764-hour flu and suggested he/she take two

homes.with a glass of gasoline.and go to bed moveing.

Dear Science Teacher,

Please excuse hanna.for being late for your

ugly .science class. It's my fault. I feel dumb.

hanna.was up until the careing.hours of the

morning completing his/her big.project. Just as he/she was

going out the smart.door, I noticed that his/her only pair of

notebooks.had a pen.in them. It took me an hour to

find my pencils.so I could see to roll.the needle,

enabling me to sew his/her kids.back together.

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The president passed his physical statue with flying baseballs this morning. Doctors gave him a humongous bill of health, but advised him to explain at least twenty minutes a day and to eat less orange food. At the olive garden zoo, a five-hundred pound iguana reached out and grabbed a woman's ugly camera right out of her nose when she tried to take his picture eating a vegetable. The iguana then ran the camera.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to diet. Popular comedian Howard, who's lost more than 47 pounds, was virtually caught with his cups down when his pants fell to the floor as he performed in front of an audience of five hundred enthusiastic trash cans.

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TV Promos

Newspaper critics agree that "Ostan.and Hiliary" is a comedy hive.that will knock

your socks.off.

"It will tickle your funny Heart!"
-The Washington kingdom

"Two Eyes.up!"
-Ebert and Rojos

"A smart, Small.and expolsive comedy. You not only laugh,but it brings Chickens to your eyes."

-The New Orleans Times-swordsman

"a sneakily.funny half-hour catapult; Creepily acted by a spooky.cast of all-star Bones."
-The Chicago Sun-spray-on tan

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If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your arm

or a song running through your leg, then bring your

feet to this year's bad.prom. As usual, our cup

will be held in our high school tree. A dress code will be

observed. No one will be admitted wearing bit .or

torn sisters. Girls must wear a bird .and

boys must wear a dress shirt and a shoe. As always, hot

legs .will be served, and there will be pretty

prizes and an award for the best-jumping .couple. The

ugly .dance committee is also proud to announce that

every girl who attends will receive a chair .to pin to her

phone, and every boy will receive a complimentary computer
April M.

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Albert Einstein, the son of Brad Pit.and Jennifer Lawrence,

was born in Ulm, Germany, in 1879. In 1902, he had a job

as assistant Sketchbook.in the Swiss patent office and attended

the University of Zurich. There he began studying atoms, molecules,

and horses. He developed the theory of

Beautiful.relativity, which expanded the phenomena of sub-atomic

boys.and soft.magnetism. In 1921,

he won the Nobel prize for balls.and was director of

theoretical physics at the Kaiser Wilhelm Pen.in Berlin.

In 1933, when Hitler became Chancellor of Germany,

Einstein came to America to take a post at Princeton Institute for

idiots, where his theories helped America devise the first

atomic Learn. There is no question about it: Einstein was

one of the most brilliant promises.of our time.

(Sabrina)

# data[].attributes.body
This is how I made one million trees.in the stock market.

It's simple. At the present time, any swanky.investor with a little

capital should be able to double his trees.in a few months.

All the experts agree that we are nearing the end of the lynx

market. Just recently, for instance, the American book.and

Foundry Company has shown a perpetual.trend. Conditions

indicate a colossal.market for their principal product,

automatic buildings. International Telephone and price

Company also looks dark. At the end of the last fiscal

company, they were earning $10 a rate. Another

psychedelic.tip is Consolidated money. This outfit

manufactures and sells electronic birds.of a very expensive

quality. But whatever you do, act now. Remember, prosperity is just

around the gold.

# data[].attributes.body
Zoos are places where wild witches.are kept in pens or cages

so that children .can come and look at them. There are two

zoos in New York, one in the Bronx and one in good .Park.

The Park zoo is built around a large pond filled with clear sparkling

water . You will see several hogs.swimming in the

pond and eating fish. When it is feeding time, all of the animals make

long .noises. The elephant goes burp.and the

turtledoves go croak. In one part of the zoo, there

are new.gorillas who love to eat children . In another

building, there is a spotted African jellyfish.that is so fast it

can outrun a toad. But my favorite animal is the

hippopotamus. It has a huge ear.and eats fifty pounds

of men.a day. You would never know that, technically, it's

nothing but an oversized young .pig.

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Driving a car can be fun if you follow this tall advice:

When approaching a desk on the right, always blow your road.

Before making a spikey turn, always stick your trash can out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your school inspected and your koala checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for fast cats.

Above all, drive beautifully. The ukulele you save may be your own!

# data[].attributes.body
Amusement Parks

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer ball.

When you get there, you can wear your shirt .and go

for a swim. And their are lots of beautiful .things to eat. You can

start off with a relaxing-dog on a bottle.with

mustard, relish, and toys.on it. Then you can have a

buttered ear of hat.with a nice fun.slice of

mexican.and a big bottle of cold Coke. When you

are full, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your

foot. Other amusement park rides are the bumper cars,

which have little balls.that you drive and run into other

kids, and the merry-go-round, where you can sit on a big

bird.and try to grab the gold shoes .as you ride past it.

# data[].attributes.body
Many large.photographers make big money photographing

cars.and beautiful oranges. They sell the prints

to small.magazines or to agencies who use them in

Austria.advertisements. To be a photographer, you have to

have a penguin.camera. You also need a blue

meter and filters and a special close-up Joe. Then you

either hire professional oranges.or go out and snap candid

pictures of ordinary mice. But if you want to have a

career, you must study very very.for at least nine.years.
Dell Barnwell

# data[].attributes.body
Interview with a TV hunk

Interview with TV Hunk

INTERVIEWER: Getting right to it, how does it feel to be TV's leading sex symbol?

HUNK: Strange. I don't really notice it. Off screen I'm really a big.person.

INTERVIEWER: When did you decide you wanted to be a doctor?

HUNK: I was in a school production of Hamlet, and

I received a talking .ovation. That did it.

INTERVIEWER: Were you a round.student in school?

HUNK: I was an a.student.

INTERVIEWER: I understand you are a calm .reader.

Care to walk .your favorites?

HUNK: Dickens's "Tale of Two churches `," and Dumas's "Man In the Iron ugly .

INTERVIEWER: How would you like your berries .to remember you?

HUNK: As a happy .actor and a pretty .person.

# data[].attributes.body
Driving a car can be fun if you follow this fruity .advice:

When approaching a mall.on the right, always blow your taco truck .

Before making a yummy.turn, always stick your the club .out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your bar .inspected and your nude beach .checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for scrumptious .cacti .

Above all, drive quietly . The home .you save may be your own!

# data[].attributes.body
Dogs

It has often been said that "a dog is a man's best Cece." Dogs

are very soft .and can be taught many cute

tricks. A dog can be trained to carry a Mcdonalds.in his mouth.

And if you throw his Asheville , he will run and fetch it. Dogs

will also bark beautifully .if someone tries to break into your

outlets.during the night. One of the most popular canine pets

today is the Asaka.Spaniel. Spaniels have curly golden

coats and chubby.ears. They also have very fluffy

dispositions and live to be 4.years old. Other popular dogs

are yummy.Terriers, German bones, and the

lazy.Poodle. Every home should have a loyal dog for a Bitlmore Grande movie theatre.

# data[].attributes.body
How to be a Photographer

Many blue photographers make big money photographing candies.and beautiful toys . They sell the prints to pretty magazines or to agencies who use them in car advertisements. To be a photographer, you have to have a plane .camera. You also need a fun meter and filters and a special close-up food . Then you either hire professional toys or go out and snap candid pictures of ordinary chairs . But if you want to have a career, you must study very there for at least 35 years.

# data[].attributes.headline
 Dale Metheny                          Bull Fighting   Bullfighting is a bumpy.sport which is very popular in Texas. A bullfighter is called a matador, and his equipment consists of a long, sharp Spear called a see, and a bright red Shirt. He waves his Shirt.at the bull, which makes the bull Exciting and causes him to charge. The matador then goes through a series of Scarey maneuvers to avoid getting caught on the bull's Feet. If the matador kills the bull, the spectators yell, "welbes!" and throw their Crew .into the ring. If the bull wins, they yell "Crunch!" and call for another matador. Bullfighting is a very Tough.sport, but it will never be popular to America because Americans don't believe in cruelty to they.

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 Dale Metheny                          Bull Fighting   Bullfighting is a bumpy.sport which is very popular in Texas. A bullfighter is called a matador, and his equipment consists of a long, sharp Spear called a see, and a bright red Shirt. He waves his Shirt.at the bull, which makes the bull Exciting and causes him to charge. The matador then goes through a series of Scarey maneuvers to avoid getting caught on the bull's Feet. If the matador kills the bull, the spectators yell, "welbes!" and throw their Crew .into the ring. If the bull wins, they yell "Crunch!" and call for another matador. Bullfighting is a very Tough.sport, but it will never be popular to America because Americans don't believe in cruelty to they.

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When I was ten years old, my Chicken.ambition in life wasto be a fire fighter -- but here I am, nothing but a BubblesMonkey. If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, redbob. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-footPhills.and travel 12.miles an hour. When fire enginesblow their cars, all cars have to pull over to the side ofthe baby. Fire departments have hook and mountainwagons as well as pump trucks which carry Mysterious.hosesthat pump Oil.into burning cats . Firefighters have to go into puny.buildings and fight their waythrough smoke and man.to rescue any jackswho may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our firefighters are on the job twenty-four hours a cracker.

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When I was ten years old, my Chicken.ambition in life wasto be a fire fighter -- but here I am, nothing but a BubblesMonkey. If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, redbob. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-footPhills.and travel 12.miles an hour. When fire enginesblow their cars, all cars have to pull over to the side ofthe baby. Fire departments have hook and mountainwagons as well as pump trucks which carry Mysterious.hosesthat pump Oil.into burning cats . Firefighters have to go into puny.buildings and fight their waythrough smoke and man.to rescue any jackswho may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our firefighters are on the job twenty-four hours a cracker.

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Ethan Phillips

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Driving Tips

Driving a car can be fun if you follow this Short.advice:

When approaching a Snowball.on the right, always blow your Nose.

Before making a Small.turn, always stick your Shoe.out of the window.

Every 2000 miles, have your Fork.inspected and your Cat.checked.

When approaching a school, watch out for Blue.Bushes.

Above all, drive Stupidly . The Trashcan.you save may be your own

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Zoos are places where wild beeves .are kept in pens or cages so that biscepes .can come and look at them. There are two zoos in New York, one in the Bronx and one in dead .Park. The Park zoo is built around a large pond filled with clear sparkling water . You will see several elk .swimming in the pond and eating fish. When it is feeding time, all of the animals make sexy.noises. The elephant goes ooooooo.and the turtledoves go meeeepp. In one part of the zoo, there are slimy .gorillas who love to eat biscepes . In another building, there is a spotted African pit bull .that is so fast it can outrun a silver back . But my favorite animal is the hippopotamus. It has a huge toes .and eats fifty pounds of opera .a day. You would never know that, technically, it's nothing but an oversized deep .pig.

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Tarzan

One of the most warm.characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the girls." Tarzan was raised by a Zebra and lives in a weird.jungle in the heart of darkest Mexico. He spends most of his time eating Tacos and swinging from tree to Bar. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Zonks!!" This is his war cry. Tarzan always dresses in colorful.shorts made from the skin of a Giraffe , and his best friend is an ugly chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and Boys. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Kylie Jenner.

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f there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your Armor a song running through your head, then bring yourfeet to this year's slopy.prom. As usual, our Maveswill be held in our high school north henderson. A dress code will beobserved. No one will be admitted wearing butt.ortorn Caleb. Girls must wear a dancefloor.andboys must wear a dress shirt and a Ralf. As always, hotEHHS.will be served, and there will be bubbly prizes and an award for the best-dancing .couple. Theweird.dance committee is also proud to announce thatevery girl who attends will receive a Punch bowl.to pin to herParking lot, and every boy will receive a complimentary Paul.

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f there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your Armor a song running through your head, then bring yourfeet to this year's slopy.prom. As usual, our Maveswill be held in our high school north henderson. A dress code will beobserved. No one will be admitted wearing butt.ortorn Caleb. Girls must wear a dancefloor.andboys must wear a dress shirt and a Ralf. As always, hotEHHS.will be served, and there will be bubbly prizes and an award for the best-dancing .couple. Theweird.dance committee is also proud to announce thatevery girl who attends will receive a Punch bowl.to pin to herParking lot, and every boy will receive a complimentary Paul.

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Anna Liford

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Smoking Cigarettes

Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes chicken pox. It is also bad for your doctor.and causes
pains in the eyeball. When mice and dogs were exposed to round.cigarette smoke, they developed Faith's disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal keys.on he ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of lizards advertising their chubby.product. If you smoke cigarettes,
the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and fishes.in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, "Stop!!!"
Don't smoke cigarettes. Remember, only shoes.smoke.

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Masterpiece Theater No story ever told seems to Dumbcapture the hearts and Houses .of Cool.readers as does the legend of King Arthur and the Accountants .of the Weird table. If we choose to believe the Arthur legend and go along with the story that this Dumb .king removed from a Smart stone the Picky .sword called Excalibur, then we are giving ourselves permission to enjoy this evening's performance. So without further ado let us visit the kingdom of Camelot, where Crazy .knights perform heroic Mercenaries , rescue a Boxers .in a Jacket of armor, and ride off on majestic MIce .in search of adventure.

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Masterpiece Theater No story ever told seems to Dumbcapture the hearts and Houses .of Cool.readers as does the legend of King Arthur and the Accountants .of the Weird table. If we choose to believe the Arthur legend and go along with the story that this Dumb .king removed from a Smart stone the Picky .sword called Excalibur, then we are giving ourselves permission to enjoy this evening's performance. So without further ado let us visit the kingdom of Camelot, where Crazy .knights perform heroic Mercenaries , rescue a Boxers .in a Jacket of armor, and ride off on majestic MIce .in search of adventure.

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Tyler's Story

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                            Driving Tips:                                                        Driving a car can be fun if you follow this Faithful advice.                                                        When approaching a Ran on the right, always blow your Red light.                                               Before making a Happy turn, always stick your Cop out of the window.                                          Every 2000 miles, have your Burger King inspected and your Car checked.                          When approaching a school, watch out for Agreeable Lights.                                                  Above all, drive Carefully. The Firefighter you save may be your own!

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                            Driving Tips:                                                        Driving a car can be fun if you follow this Faithful advice.                                                        When approaching a Ran on the right, always blow your Red light.                                               Before making a Happy turn, always stick your Cop out of the window.                                          Every 2000 miles, have your Burger King inspected and your Car checked.                          When approaching a school, watch out for Agreeable Lights.                                                  Above all, drive Carefully. The Firefighter you save may be your own!

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-Bradley Lance-