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10 Quick and Easy Ways to Develop a Strong Classroom Community - WeAreTeachers

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10 Quick and Easy Ways to Develop a Strong Classroom Community - WeAreTeachers

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A great article with tips on creating a positive classroom community.

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By guest blogger Kelly Booth

Over the years, I have come to realize that developing a strong classroom community is probably the most effective classroom-management strategy. When students come together as a cohesive unit that takes pride in learning, disruptions and misbehaviors are greatly reduced. Here are 10 quick and easy ways to increase the sense of community within your own classroom.

1. Work as a class to create a classroom constitution. Have students work together to brainstorm their most important guidelines for a successful learning community. Once students have decided on the five or six most important points, write them in a pledge form on posterboard. Have all students sign the pledge and hang it on the wall where the students can see it.

2. Every day after the Pledge of Allegiance, have students recite the classroom pledge that they created.

3. Conduct a morning meeting. Have students sit in a circle. The first student should turn to the student on his/her right, shake hands and say good morning, being sure to say the name of the student whose hand they are shaking. Once the hand shaking and greeting has gone all the way around the circle, you can open the meeting up for discussion. Students love to share important things in their lives!

4. Assign each student a classroom job that changes weekly.

5. Periodically invite students to eat lunch with you. Do it just because or for something special like a birthday or congratulatory celebration.

6. Move students' desks together so that they work cooperatively. Allow students time to talk with their partners in their table groups about both academic and personal subjects.

7. Purchase some "All About Me" posters from a teacher store (or create your own). Each week assign the role of star student to a different child. The star student should take his/her poster home and fill it out, adding pictures or drawings. Allow the star student to present the poster to the class and give classmates time to ask questions. Hang each star student poster up on the wall for the week.

8. Get a large jar and some marbles. Put a handful of marbles in the jar each time the class does something exceptional. When the jar is full, the whole class earns a reward.

9. Read the book "How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids" by Tom Rath to the class. After the reading, have a class discussion about the book. Create a bucket bulletin board and leave a stack of raindrops big enough for kids to write on near the bucket. Students can write ways that their classmates filled up their bucket and then stick them up on the bulletin board.

10. Read the book "Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge" by Mem Fox. Over the next few days, have students bring in something that makes them laugh, cry, etc. Students can share their items and why they are special with their classmates and then use those items as a starting point for a piece of writing.

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10 Quick and Easy Ways to Develop a Strong Classroom Community - WeAreTeachers

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By guest blogger Kelly Booth Over the years, I have come to realize that developing a strong classroom community is probably the most effective classroom-management strategy. When students come together as a cohesive unit that takes pride in learning, disruptions ...

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This is a great article on building classroom relationships.

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Students respond to us because we care-and because they like us.

With pursed lips and a furrowed brow, Julie strode into my second-period social studies class. She sat down, slammed her books on the desk, and said, "I hate this class!" I stood at my podium, reviewing my notes for the next period. On hearing her remark, I looked up and saw that Julie was not happy. I took a deep breath and walked slowly toward her. I squatted down next to her desk.

"Julie, you're really upset. What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's not fair. I hate this!" She paused. I waited. "We had a stupid pop quiz in math last period. I didn't have time to study last night because we had to pick my grandma up from the airport and got home late."

I acknowledged her frustration, took another deep breath, and said,Julie, just hang in there today. Do whatever you can. It's tough to have that happen first thing in the morning.

I walked back to my podium. By now, most of the sophomore students had arrived.

As class began, I noticed that Julie sat dazed at her desk. After about 15 minutes, she opened her notebook and began to participate in class. When the bell rang, she left without a word, which wasn't unusual for her; she rarely spoke when she entered my class and never made eye contact.

The next day, Julie was the first to arrive in class once again. As she passed by my podium, she smiled at me, her eyes bright, and said exuberantly, "Good morning, Mr. Mendes."

"Good morning, Julie," I replied.

"So, what are we going to do today?" she asked. I gave her a thumbnail sketch. When class began, she actively participated. When class was over, she passed by me and said enthusiastically, "Have a good day, Mr. Mendes." The next day-and every day thereafter-she greeted me, participated in class, and left with a goodbye. She raised her grade from a C to an A that semester.

What happened here? Am I suggesting that my empathetic response during a brief conversation influenced her behavior that dramatically? Dozens of variables were present in Julie's life during that time. I know from my 23 years of teaching, however, that Julie's change was not an exception, but rather the rule. Every student with whom I consciously made an effort to establish a rapport or a caring relationship demonstrated dramatic changes in behavior, effort, and performance.

Students do respond just because we care-and because they like us. Some educators want students simply to respect rather than like their teachers. But earning the respect of students is not enough. Students must perceive that we care, and even that we like them deep down, as people. As it turns out, they will work harder for someone they like than for someone they simply respect. And in our professional adult capacity, we can maintain both friendship-like qualities and our leadership role.

Having rapport means that two people are alike physiologically, emotionally, or cognitively, even if the similarity is temporary. Knowing students' interests and concerns is one sure way to build rapport. Being physically on the same level when talking with students-matching their rate of speech and their tone when it is positive-can help build rapport. Using students' names during lectures and acknowledging all responses in some way during class discussions are also part of building rapport.

What does it take to build rapport? The teacher needs a genuine desire to build a connection with students and strategies for reframing experiences so that they elicit a student's interest rather than frustration.

Nurture and Structure

Moustakas (1994) asks student teachers to draw from personal experience to create a profile of an effective relationship with a caring adult and then work to replicate this relationship with their students. Students feel special, for example, when the teacher affirms their interests and needs and makes suggestions rather than impositions. Psychologist Carl Rogers (1951) described the ideal therapeutic relationship as one in which the therapist is genuine and nonjudgmental, providing unconditional positive regard. Teachers can develop these characteristics of a good therapist to create healthy teacher-student relationships.

Developing caring relationships does not negate the need for limits and structure in the classroom. Students need both structure and nurture, and the ways in which the teacher responds to these needs in the classroom are crucial. Caring teachers succeed in managing their classrooms effectively, including maintaining discipline, solving problems, and setting expectations, limits, and rewards (Gootman, 1997). Caring classrooms are home to warm, supportive, stable relationships and to the social and ethical dimensions of learning (Lewis, Schapps, &amp; Watson, 1996).

Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness and self-management are crucial elements of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness entails identifying your own emotional state-knowing when you feel frustrated, for example, and why. Self-awareness includes being able to distinguish between your own feelings and those of others.

Self-management is the ability to manage your emotions and use them to move toward a desired outcome. Self-managing behavior might include taking some deep breaths or calming yourself with internal suggestions, such as "Relax" or "I can handle this." Once you have achieved self-control, it is easier to listen and respond to others with I-messages, stating how the other person's statement is affecting you.

When we are aware and in control of our own emotions, we also need to be aware of other people's emotions so that we can make appropriate choices about how and what we communicate. Training and coaching can help develop this skill in reading between the lines.

In a study that measured the emotional intelligence of 49 high school teachers, I found that a teacher's ability to accurately identify emotions was directly related to the number of years that the teacher had taught (Mendes, 2002). This finding is consistent with other research on emotional intelligence (Mayer, Caruso, &amp; Salovey, 2000). Classroom teachers must possess these competencies if they are to succeed with students.

Choosing Empathy

Sometimes empathy can serve multiple purposes. For example, viewing a situation empathetically can lead to a calmer internal state, which can influence the response of the teacher. In the case of Julie, I thought about how awful it is to feel that angry and almost out of control. That insight influenced my behavior. In addition, my observation allowed me to perceive Julie's upset state. This ability to read and identify emotions works together with self-management and leads to the optimal timing of responses.

In the classroom, we might be excited about a great activity for our students. But if a student is having a bad day, how do we respond? Do we perceive the student as apathetic and as having a negative attitude? Do we stick to our behavioral management plan and give the student a warning, soon to be followed by a set of consequences?

How do we discern, in the moment, what state the student is in and what course of action would be best? It's not always an easy task. The observation skills required to make these quick daily decisions are part of empathy.

The Adolescent Brain

Every time I read about neuroscientists' findings about developmental stages, I am amazed that adolescents can function in a classroom at all. The adolescent's brain is undergoing a state of reorganization, and the frontal lobe region, which is crucial in controlling impulses and making healthy decisions, has not finished developing (Giedd et al., 1999). Further, uncontrollable temper outbursts and violence may be due to mini-seizures in the temporal lobes (Amen, 1998). When making important decisions, the amygdala, an emotional trigger, gets activated more frequently in an adolescent brain than in an adult brain. Hormones magnify the intensity of moods and behavior (Amen, 1998). A bad family situation, for example, may be wreaking havoc inside the student's head.

These difficulties are not excuses for student performance and behavior, but they represent some of the factors that play into the observable behavior you see every day. When I remember these mitigating factors, I feel more empathy.

Opening the Relationship Door

Gottman describes people's attempts to make connections with others as bidding (Gottman &amp; DeClaire, 2001). We make numerous attempts at interpersonal connections throughout the day, in all of our relationships, and people can respond to our bidding in one of three ways: toward the bid, away from it, or against it.

For example, if a person in your proximity commented on the warm weather, and you asked him to pass the newspaper, you would be moving away from response. If instead you agreed that a heat wave is in the making, you would be moving toward the attempted bid for connection. You would be making an against response if you replied, "What are you, the weather man?" Relationships that include many toward responses are more durable than those with many away and against responses. Positive responses create an emotional bank account that can absorb relational difficulties that occur along the way.

Bidding takes verbal and nonverbal forms. Depending on the relationship, a glance, a touch, or a verbal "hey" may be appropriate. When a student asks a question that is out of context and unrelated to the classroom discussion, we have choices: We can ignore it; acknowledge it and suggest another time to address it; or make a sarcastic response. Every response is either making a deposit to or a withdrawal from our relationship account. When an individual, either in a group or one-on-one, risks sharing an idea or thought with you, you have an opportunity to deposit or withdraw. Which will you choose?

We may need to practice making clear, recognizable bids to others. When we do not clearly communicate with students, they may misinterpret our intention. For example, an after-class conversation regarding a student's behavior may start out harshly and set the conversation on a downward spiral:Jessie, knock it off. I'm tired of your wisecracks in class. You're being a smart aleck, and you're going to be sorry if you don't stop.

Instead, the teacher should ask the student what's going on:You didn't seem your usual self today in class.

The student explains. The teacher uses self-control:When you said, "This class is stupid," I became defensive and felt angry because I thought you were attacking me in front of the class. I want to know where that comment came from.

The student explains. The teacher responds:In the future, if you're angry with me or at something else, I want you to take out a piece of paper and write me a note describing your feelings and why you feel that way. Then you can share it with me later. How does that sound?

The student comments. The teacher finishes:OK, I'll talk with you more tomorrow.

This dialogue is only one of the typical, ongoing bidding scenarios we face daily. How we bid and respond to bids has a cumulative effect.

To open the relationship door, teachers need to understand their students' world. To build relationships in the classroom, teachers need to know their students, their own strengths and limitations, and how to connect with students by demonstrating genuine interest in them.

How to Build Relationships

Acknowledge all responses and questions.

Mention students' names, skills, ideas, and knowledge in your presentations-without mentioning weaknesses or confidential information.

Use self-disclosure when appropriate. Be a real person.

Use responses beginning with "I agree," "I appreciate," and "I respect."

Ask students about their interests. Collect an information card at the beginning of the year and have students update it regularly. Pay attention to students' nonverbal responses and make adjustments as you capture their interest or hit neutral ground.

Build on what you hear from students by sharing stories, interests, and worries.

Display empathy with individuals and with classes by communicating what you think their needs or feelings might be.

Listen actively. Match students' expressions and conveyed moods. Paraphrase their message, when appropriate. Know your students' world and go there first to open the relationship door.

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With pursed lips and a furrowed brow, Julie strode into my second-period social studies class. She sat down, slammed her books on the desk, and said, "I hate this class!" I stood at my podium, reviewing my notes for the next period.

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Developing Empathy | Teaching Tolerance - Diversity, Equity and Justice

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Developing Empathy | Teaching Tolerance - Diversity, Equity and Justice

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This page is a HUGE resource for diversity and tolerance in the classroom.

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Activities

1. Can you think of a time-maybe during an argument with a friend or when the boy or girl you liked hurt your feelings-when you wished that someone understood how you felt? When we try to relate to what another person is going through, we're being empathetic.

2. Do you think you're an empathetic person? Respond to each statement on Are You Empathetic? with "yes" if it describes something you do or "no" if you don't do what is described.

3. If you answered mostly "yes," you probably do a good job of showing empathy toward other people. The statements you answered "no" to are things you could do to be more empathetic.

4. As a class, use Are You Empathetic? to discuss how you can follow the behaviors suggested to show empathy toward others:

One way you can try to imagine what it feels like being in someone else's shoes is to ask yourself, "How would I feel in this situation?" How else can you try to understand how others feel?

When you listen to others, making eye contact, not interrupting the speaker, and asking follow-up questions can show that you're making a genuine effort to understand what they're going through. What other behaviors might show someone that you are being an empathetic listener?

What can you do to be more attuned to other people's feelings? For instance, when you talk to your friends, how many "you" questions do you ask compared to the number of "I" statements you make?

5. Now you are going to practice what you've learned about being empathetic. You will each receive one character card from Someone Else's Shoes. You are going to complete the rest of the activity as this character, so take some time to think about how he or she feels in the given situation.

6. Pair up with a classmate (be sure your partner's character card is different from yours; if you have the same character, you need to pair up with someone else). As your character, tell your partner about your situation. Your partner should practice being empathetic as he is listening to your story. Then, switch roles: practice being empathetic as your partner, as his character, tells you what he is experiencing.

7. With your partner, discuss how she showed empathy toward you, how it made you feel and what you wish she had done differently. Use statements like, "I could tell you were really listening to me because you maintained eye contact with me during the entire conversation, and that made me feel like you care."

8. Everyone in the class should now stand. Go around the room, sharing something you learned about practicing empathy, sitting after you share. If someone else shares your thought, sit down. Continue around the room until everyone is sitting.

Extension Activity

Create a way to teach others how to be more empathetic (e.g., perform a skit, create a comic strip, write a short story, sing or rap original lyrics).

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Can you think of a time-maybe during an argument with a friend or when the boy or girl you liked hurt your feelings-when you wished that someone understood how you felt? When we try to relate to what another person is going through, we're being empathetic. Do you think you're an empathetic person?

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Teaching Strategies: The Importance of Empathy

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Teaching Strategies: The Importance of Empathy

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Empathy is just as important as any other standard a teacher will teach.

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A great article on how to create empathy in a classroom.

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mobile first webpage developed by mobiletech

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Teaching empathy: Evidence-based tips for fostering empathy in children

© 2009 - 2017 Gwen Dewar, Ph.D., all rights reserved

Teaching empathy? That might sound strange if you think of empathy as an innate, fixed trait -- a talent that some people are born with, and others lack.

But empathy isn't an all or nothing proposition. It isn't something that unfolds automatically, in every situation. It isn't even a single ability or skill.

As Jean Decety and Jason Cowell have argued (2014), the word "empathy" has become a "catch-all" term for three distinct processes:

1. Emotional sharing (also called "emotional contagion"), which occurs when we experience feelings of distress as a result of observing distress in another individual

2. Empathic concern, which is the motivation to care for individuals who are vulnerable or distressed, and

3. Perspective-taking, the "ability to consciously put oneself in the mind of another individual and imagine what that person is thinking or feeling."

When we speak in everyday terms of someone being "very empathic," or showing "low empathy," we're probably guilty of mixing up several distinct concepts.

Certainly, some individuals score high in all three areas, and others (a very small portion of the population) may test poorly across the board. But it's common for people to experience these phenomena in varying degrees -- and to change over time.

For instance, many young children show high levels of emotional sharing; demonstrate strong, but more limited, evidence of empathic concern; and struggle with certain types of perspective-taking.

As they get older, their perspective-taking skills improve, especially when we provide them with opportunities to practice.

They learn social norms about when and how show to empathic concern. They also learn about their own emotional responses.

These experiences might lead to enhanced empathy for others, or the reverse. Children may learn to show more responsiveness and caring, or less. It depends on the content of their lessons.

Were they taught that empathy often requires an open-mind, and an effort to learn how differently others experience the world?

Did they learn to shut out unpleasant feelings by retreating from people in distress? Or did they learn how to control their personal reactions so they can respond with sympathy and help?

Did they learn practical, concrete actions to take when someone is in trouble?

Did they learn that empathy is to be reserved for a select few -- or for individuals from every walk of life?

So empathy isn't something you either have or lack, and it isn't something that develops automatically, without input from the environment.

There are different facets and degrees of empathy, and the way we socialize children matters.

Here are some tips for teaching empathy--tips inspired by scientific research.

Teaching empathy tip #1: Provide children with the support they need to develop strong self-regulation skills

Feeling someone else's pain is unpleasant, so it shouldn't surprise us if a child's first impulse is to shrink away. Children are more likely to overcome this impulse when they feel secure, and have strong self-regulation skills.

For instance, when children have secure attachment relationships with their caregivers, they know they can count on their caregivers for emotional and physical support. And these children are more likely to sympathize and offer help to people in distress (Waters et al 1979; Kestenbaum et al 1989; Barnett 1987).

In addition, children who are better at regulating their negative emotions tend to show greater empathic concern for others (Song et al 2017).

Thus, we can foster empathy by being "emotion coaches." That means acknowledging (rather than dismissing) our children's negative feelings, and engaging them in conversation about the causes and effects of emotions. It also means helping kids find constructive ways to handle their bad moods.

While emotion coaching has helped kids of all ages, y ounger children who struggle with negative emotions may benefit the most (Johnson et al 2017). In addition, there is evidence that young children develop better perspective-taking skills when we talk to them about mental states -- like beliefs, desires, and goals.

So if you have a toddler, it isn't too early to start thinking about your role as a coach. In one experiment, parents who were encouraged to increase their coaching efforts produced immediate, positive effects. P reschoolers showed improvements in their ability to handle frustration (Loop and Roskam 2016).

Read more in this article about the case for teaching empathy.

Teaching empathy tip #2: Seize everyday opportunities to model-and induce-sympathetic feelings for other people

If you observe someone in distress (in real life, on TV, or in a book), talk with your child about how that person must feel (Pizarro and Salovey 2002). Even a very brief conversation might have an effect.

For example, in an experiment on Dutch school children (age 8-13 years), Jellie Sierksma and her colleagues presented kids with some hypothetical scenarios about school.
It's your classmate's turn to stay late and clean up the classroom. But she wants to go home as soon as possible because her mother is quite ill. She asks you to help her. Would you do it?
In one scenario, the students were told to imagine that the girl was one of their friends. In another scenario, they were told the girl was not one of their friends.

The distinction mattered. Children expressed less willingness to help when the girl wasn't depicted as a friend.

But the results changed when researchers added an extra step to the procedure. Instead of immediately asking children if they would help, the experimenters first asked them to think about the girl, and rate how sad or upset she was likely to be.

After rating emotions, the children showed no bias in favor of the friend. They were equally likely to say they would help the girl, whether she was a friend or not (Sierksma et al 2015). The extra reminder was enough to change children's judgments.

Teaching empathy tip #3: Help kids discover what they have in common with other people

Adults tend to feel greater empathy for an individual when they perceive the individual to be similar to them. They also find it easier to empathize with someone who is familiar. Research suggests that children have similar biases (e.g., Zahn-Waxler et al 1984; Smith 1988).

As a result, one of the best ways to encourage empathy is to make children conscious of what they have in common with others. Another is to get out and meet people from different backgrounds, and learn about what life is like in far away places.

Conversations are helpful, but it's worth remembering that kids are heavily influenced by what we actually do, and less by what we say. Decades of research indicates that one of the biggest predictors of racial prejudice -- and a failure to empathize with members of other groups -- is having little or no contact with people who aren't like you.

Studies also suggest that schools boost empathy in students when they foster multiculturalism -- an inclusive, warm attitude about cultural diversity. Moreover, this enhanced empathy is linked with increased happiness and scholastic achievement (Le et al 2009; Chang and Le 2011).

Teaching empathy tip #4: Foster cognitive empathy through literature and role-playing
Teaching empathy: Why "feeling someone else's pain" isn't the whole story
When we hear the word empathy, we often focus on "emotion sharing." This ability, also called "affective empathy," seems like empathy is its most primal, compelling form.

But it comes with a cost. As noted in the introduction, emotion sharing can make us want to back away, especially when we encounter someone in pain or distress.

And even if we resist this impulse, our own emotions can distract us from accurately judging what a victim really needs.

Thus, having affective empathy isn't enough. To be good helpers, we also need cognitive empathy -- the ability to take another person's perspective, and imagine what actions might make that person feel better. The process is more dispassionate and cerebral, and less stressful. It's also leads to more accurate judgments.

In brain scan studies, individuals who score high in cognitive empathy tend to experience less stress reactivity when they witness distress in others. And they are actually better at responding in helpful ways (e.g., Ho et al 2014).

So how do we foster cognitive empathy?

Fictional stories and real-life narratives offer excellent opportunities for teaching empathy and sharpening a child's perspective-taking skills. What do the characters think, believe, want, or feel? And how do we know it? When we actively discuss these questions, kids may learn a lot about the way other people's minds work (Dunn et al 2001).

In one experimental study, 110 school kids (aged 7 years) were enrolled in a reading program. Some students were randomly assigned to engage in conversations about the emotional content of the stories they read. Others were asked only to produce drawings about the stories.

After two months, the kids in the conversation group showed greater advances in emotion comprehension, theory of mind, and empathy, and the positive outcomes "remained stable for 6 months" (Ornaghi et al 2014).

Other research suggests that role-playing is useful. In an elaborate role-playing trial, researchers asked young, healthy medical students to simulate the difficulties of old age. For example, students wore goggles covered with transparent tape to simulate the effects of cataracts, and heavy rubber gloves to experience poor motor control. After the experiment, the students showed greater empathy towards the elderly (Varkey et al 2006).

Teaching empathy tip #5: Foster cognitive empathy through compassion training

Literature and role-playing can provide children with insights into other minds and other perspectives. But what about those feelings of personal distress? How do we keep affective empathy from overwhelming us? Research suggests that certain meditation practices -- mindfulness meditation and compassion meditation -- may be helpful.

For example, in studies of compassion training, participants "visualize their own past suffering, and relate to it with feelings of warmth and care" (Klimecki et al 2014).

To maintain this focus, they repeat phrases like "may I be sheltered by compassion," "may I be safe," and " may I be free from this suffering." Then participants repeat the exercise, but with other individuals as the targets for compassion. They start by imagining a close loved one, and then extend their compassionate wishes to a series of others -- a neutral person, an difficult person, and humanity in general (Leiberg et al 2011; Klimecki et al 2014).

For adults, a single day of training has been enough to yield differences in brain activity and behavior. Compared with individuals who received memory training, individuals trained in compassion were more likely to help a stranger during the course of a game (Lieberg et al 2011).

Also, compared with participants trained in affective empathy, they showed less activity in parts of the brain associated with "second-hand" pain and distress. Yet brain regions linked with reward, love, and affiliation remained active (Klimecki et al 2014).

Similar techniques have been used successfully with adolescents (Reddy et al 2013), and they may be adaptable for younger individuals.

For preschoolers, researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison have developed and tested a 12 week classroom program called the Kindness Curriculum (Flook et al 2015).

Among other things, it features group lessons in attention to emotions in the self and others; practical brainstorming sessions for helping others; and exercises in showing gratitude. A randomized, controlled study found the program to be effective for teaching empathy and preschool social skills (Flook et al 2015).

The researchers responsible for the Kindness Curriculum are making it available to the public for free. You can sign up for your own copy here.

Teaching empathy tip #6: Help young children improve their face-reading skills

It's hard to show empathy if you can't read faces well.

Some children -- preschoolers in particular -- are at a disadvantage because they misinterpret facial expressions. If you show them photographs of people modeling different emotions (happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust), these kids misidentify what they see. And their difficulties can cause social problems (Parker 2013).

Is there anything we can do about this? Yes. For more information, see these evidence-based tips on how to help children decipher non-verbal cues of emotion.

For older kids and tees,

Teaching empathy tip #7: Show kids how to "make a face" while they try to imagine how someone else feels.

Suppose I tell you to make a sad face. It's just play acting, right?

Not really.

Experiments show that simply "going through the motions" of making a facial expression can make us experience the associated emotion.

When researchers have asked people to imitate certain facial expressions, they have detected changes in brain activity that are characteristic of the corresponding emotions. People also experience emotion-appropriate changes in heart rate, skin conductance, and body temperature (Decety and Jackson 2004).

So it seems likely that we can boost our empathic powers by imitating the facial expressions of people we want to empathize with. (Pretty cool, eh? And it's not a new idea. As neuroscientists Jean Decety and Philip L. Jackson point out, this method was suggested by Edgar Allen Poe in his short story the Purloined Letter.)

Teaching empathy tip #8: Help children develop a sense of morality that depends on internal self-control, not on rewards or punishments

Kids are capable of being spontaneously helpful and sympathetic. But experimental studies have shown that kids can become less likely to help others if they are given material rewards for doing so.

Other research has shown that kids are more likely to develop an internal sense of right and wrong if their parents use inductive discipline--an approach that emphasizes rational explanations and moral consequences, not arbitrary rules and heavy-handed punishments.

For instance, kids are more likely to internalize moral principles when their parents talk to them about how wrong-doing affects other people--inducing empathy and feelings of guilt (Hoffman and Saltzein 1967).

For related information, see this article about authoritative parenting, parental style that features an inductive approach to discipline. In addition, see these tips for fostering self-control and handling disruptive, aggressive behavior.

Teaching empathy tip #9: Educate kids about failures of the imagination

Have you ever failed to prepare adequately for an outing, because you didn't imagine how cold, or hungry, or thirsty, or tired you were going to be? This is what researchers call the " hot-cold empathy gap," and it appears to be a universal problem.

When people are comfortable, calm, and confident, they forget what it's like to be in the grip of a "hot" state. They forget how desperate certain physical conditions -- like hunger, thirst, sleeplessness, and pain -- can make one feel. And they underestimate the power of emotional states, like fear.

The hot-cold empathy gap leads to mistakes in judgment and failures of empathy. But once we understand how the hot-cold empathy gap works, we can use it to teach empathy.

For instance, when we're taking with our children about something painful that they've experienced, we can offer them examples of other people who've been through something similar. The idea isn't to dismiss the child's feelings, but rather to acknowledge those feelings, and help the child feel more connected with others.

In addition, we can teach kids about the existence of the empathy gap, and the way it can bias our judgments. Before we decide that someone is being unreasonable, we should ask ourselves: Have we forgotten what it feels like to be in his situation?

Teaching empathy tip #10: Talk with children about mechanisms of moral disengagement -- the rationalizations that people use to justify callous or cruel acts

Research has demonstrated that average, well-adjusted people can be persuaded to harm others-even torture them-as long as they are provided with the right rationale.

In a famous series of experiments developed by Stanley Milgram of Yale University, subjects were told that they were participating in a "learning experiment" that required them to administer painful electric shocks to another person (Milgram 1963).

The "experiment" was a fake, a ruse made convincing with plausible props and an actor who pretended to be in pain after the study participants pressed a button. But the participants were fooled and-urged on by an authoritative man in a white lab coat-they dutifully administered shocks to the screaming "victim." In fact, almost 65% of participants continued to press the button even after the "victim" had appeared to fall unconscious (Milgram 1963).

These people weren't psychopaths. They were ordinary people exposed to social pressure from a plausible authority figure. With the right rationalizations, otherwise decent people can disengage their moral responses. And it's not just an adult phenomenon. Children can do it, too.

If we're really serious about teaching empathy, I think it's important for kids to learn about Milgram's research and about the kinds of rationalizations that people use to excuse callous or cruel behavior. One of the most common is the tendency to view people from out-groups as less human, or less deserving of respect and compassion.

For more information, check out this article on mechanisms of moral disengagement.

Other helpful ideas for teaching empathy

For related information useful for teaching empathy, check out these research-inspired social skills activities for children and teenagers, as well as these pages about the science of empathy.

References: Tips for teaching empathy

Barnett MA. 1987. Empathy and related responses in children. In N Eisenberg and J Strayer (eds): Empathy and its development. New York: Cambridge University Press.

Chang J and Le TN. 2010. Multiculturalism as a dimension of school climate: the impact on the academic achievement of Asian American and Hispanic youth. Cultur Divers Ethnic Minor Psychol. 16(4):485-92.

Decety J and Cowell JM. 2014. Friends or Foes: Is Empathy Necessary for Moral Behavior? Perspect Psychol Sci. 9(5):525-37.

Decety J and Jackson PL. 2004. The functional architecture of human empathy. Behavioral and cognitive neuroscience reviews 3(2):71-100.

Dunn J, Brown J, Slomkowski C, Tesla, C and Youngblade L. 1991. Young children's understanding of the other people's feelings and beliefs: Individual differences and their antecedents. Child Development 62: 1352-1366.

Flook L., Goldberg S.B., Pinger L., and Davidson R.J. (2015). Promoting prosocial behavior and self-regulatory skills in preschool children through a mindfulness-based Kindness Curriculum. Dev Psychol. 51(1):44-51.

Gavazzi IG and Ornaghi V. 2011. Emotional state talk and emotion understanding: a training study with preschool children. J Child Lang. 38(5):1124-39.

Hoffman ML and Saltzein HD. 1967. Parental discipline and the child's moral development. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 5: 45-57.

Kestenbaum R, Farber EA and Sroufe LA 1989. Individual differences in empathy among preschoolers: Relation to attachment history. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development 44: 51-6.

Klimecki OM1, Leiberg S2, Ricard M2, Singer T3. Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2014 Jun;9(6):873-9.

Kidd DC and Castano E. 2013. Reading literary fiction improves theory of mind. Science. 342(6156):377-80.

Laneri D, Krach S, Paulus FM, Kanske P, Schuster V, Sommer J, Müller-Pinzler L. 2017. Mindfulness meditation regulates anterior insula activity during empathy for social pain. Hum Brain Mapp. 38(8):4034-4046.

Le TN, Lai MH, Wallen J. 2009. Multiculturalism and subjective happiness as mediated by cultural and relational variables. Cultur Divers Ethnic Minor Psychol. 15(3):303-13

LeBlanc LA, Coates AM, Daneshvar S, Charlop-Christe MJ, Morris C and Lancaster BM. 2003. Using video modeling and reinforcement to teach perspective-taking skills to children with autism. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis 36:253-257.

Loop L and Riskam I. 2016. Do children behave better when parents' emotion coaching practices are stimulated? A micro-trial study. Journal of Child and Family Studies 25(7): 2223-2235.

Martin GB and Clark RD. 1987. Distress crying in neonates: Species and peer specificity. Developmental Psychology 18: 3-9.

Milgram S. 1963. Behavioral study of obedience. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 67: 371-378.

Murphy LB. 1937. Social behavior and child personality: An exploratory study of some roots of sympathy. Columbia University Press.

Ornaghi V, Brockmeier J, Grazzani I. 2014. Enhancing social cognition by training children in emotion understanding: A primary school study.J Exp Child Psychol. 119:26-39.

Panero ME, Weisberg DS, Black J, Goldstein TR, Barnes JL, Brownell H, Winner E. 2016. Does Reading a Single Passage of Literary Fiction Really Improve Theory of Mind? An Attempt at Replication. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2016 Sep 19. [Epub ahead of print]

Parker AE, Mathis ET, Kupersmidt JB. 2013. How is this child feeling? Preschool-aged children's ability to recognize emotion in faces and body poses. Early Educ Dev. 24(2):188-211.

Pizarro DA and Salovey P. 2002. Being and becoming a good person: The role of emotional intelligence in moral development and behavior. In J Aronson (ed): Improving Academic Achievement: Impact of psychological factors on education. San Diego: Academic Press.

Reddy SD, Tenzin Negy L, Dodson-Lavelle B, Ozawa-de Silva B, Pace TWW, Cole SP, Raison CL, and Craighead LW. 2013. Cognitive-based compassion training: A promising prevention strategy for at-risk adolescents. Journal of Child and Family Studies 22(2):219-230.

Schrandt JA, Townsend DB, Poulson CL. 2009. Teaching empathy skills to children with autism. J Appl Behav Anal. 42(1):17-32.

Sierksma J, Thijs J, and Verkuyten M. 2015. In-group bias in children's intention to help can be overpowered by inducing empathy. Br J Dev Psychol. 33(1):45-56.

Smith PK 1988. The cognitive demands of children's social interactions with peers. In RW Byrne and A Whiten (eds.), Social experience and the evolution of intellect in monkeys, apes, and humans. Oxford: Clarendon Press.

Song JH, Colasante T, Malti T. Helping Yourself Helps Others: Linking Children's Emotion Regulation to Prosocial Behavior Through Sympathy and Trust. Emotion. 2017 Jun 5. doi: 10.1037/emo0000332. [Epub ahead of print]

Varkey P, Chutka DS, and Lesnick TG. 2006. The Aging Game: improving medical students' attitudes toward caring for the elderly. J Am Med Dir Assoc. 7(4):224-9.

Waters E, Wippman J, and Sroufe LA. 1979. Attachment, positive affect and competence in the peer group: Two studies in construct

Zahn-Waxler C, Hollenbeck B and Radke-Yarrow. 1984. The origins of empathy and altruism. In MW Fox and LD Mickley (eds): Advances in animal welfare science. Humane Society of the United States.

Images for "Teaching empathy":

image of brother and infant sister by istock

image of man with giggly toddler by Quinn Dombrowski/flickr

image of teenagers by Hepingting/flickr

image of woman reading with kids by Rod Library / flickr

image of girl praying or meditating by Salvation Army USA West / flickr

image of three-headed man by istock

Content of "Teaching empathy" last modified 9/17

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Teaching empathy? That might sound strange if you think of empathy as an innate, fixed trait -- a talent that some people are born with, and others lack. But empathy isn't an all or nothing proposition. It isn't something that unfolds automatically, in every situation. It isn't even a single ability or skill.

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Tootling is an A-MAZING tool to help encourage your students recognize their peers good behaviors.

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Afternoon everyone, and it had a really cute yet simple display idea. This display was called 'tootling'; I really liked the quirky colours of the display at the time. This caught my eye and made me want to read on. I read further down the page and found that it was quite a good approach to the never-ending-tattling-saga that every single class in the entire universe has.

As I'm sat writing this, the sun is shining and I'm wondering why I'm not outside relaxing in it. Then, I think about the planning I should be doing for the first week back where supply is coming in to take my wonderful class. Although I should be, I'm not feeling highly motivated to plan right now so I thought I would write a blog post.

Tattle - is a verb which can be referred to as: to gossip idly. Now, I'm in year 3 and you expect the children to tell tales. As a child, I told tales, as did my sister, brother, and all my best friends at school. Everyone around me told them. Until becoming a teacher, I never realised how much time is actually wasted. I found myself sorting out problems that were already sorted at lunch time or break time by another member of staff. Sometimes, they weren't even relevant to the child who was telling me about them. So, enough was enough. I decided to use the idea I found online. Tattling turns to tootling. Now, I have implemented this into my classroom; I am still sorting out how to manage this effectively to ensure I am not missing out on the actual problems. However, this has worked so, so well. The children are able to write something positive about the person they were going to tell a 'tattle' on. I have found that my class are so proud to be writing something positive about that classmate. I love it so much. I take no credit for the idea but this is my own version of the display.

Here are some of the comments left on my tootling wall:

"Zach is nice and he makes me laugh"

"Riley always makes me smile"

"Evan is a wonderful friend and he is always there for me"

"If me and Chloe fall out we get back together by the next playtime"

"Will is a great friend to play with and he always makes me smile"

Now, I know this is my class so I am slightly biased, but I just think that is so adorable. There is something so lovely about hearing your class talk positively about the rest of the class. There are also some cheeky post-it-notes about their class teacher being so lovely ;-). Let me know if you have used anything similar in your classroom. I would love to share ideas.

Dee

Xxxx

As an newly qualified teacher and a social media enthusiast, I find myself with lots of different ideas for my classroom and my teaching practice. I find lots of ideas for plans, plays, displays and behaviour management. I often find myself on Pinterest print-screening every exciting, colourful thing I can find. I always think to myself.. oh yeah I'll definitely use that! Eventually, two months have passed and your scrolling through your photo album on your phone looking at all the 'great ideas' you've not yet used in your classroom. I often find myself thinking - yeh I'll do that in the next half term, yet here I am putting off my planning! Hahaha.

Around a month ago, I found a link to we are teachers

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Afternoon everyone, and it had a really cute yet simple display idea. This display was called 'tootling'; I really liked the quirky colours of the display at the time. This caught my eye and made me want to read on.

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This is a great graphic on the strengths of positive peer reporting. It explains the benefits of rewarding fellow classmates for positive actions.

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Resource: The Learning Classroom: Theory Into Practice

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Resource: The Learning Classroom: Theory Into Practice

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This is an amazing professional development (online) about creating a Classroom of learners. There seems to be a lot of great info on on the whole process! The 5 w's!

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Resource: The Learning Classroom: Theory Into Practice

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Teacher resources and professional development across the curriculum

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What Are Classrooms Like for Students with Learning Disabilities? | Reading Rockets

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What Are Classrooms Like for Students with Learning Disabilities? | Reading Rockets

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Understanding what students with disabilities feel like in a classroom.

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What Are Classrooms Like for Students with Learning Disabilities?

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Common classroom conditions can and do affect many students adversely-to some degree, at one time or another, in one way or other-but, some students are especiallyvulnerable to classrooms' hazards (e.g., children of poverty, nonnative speakers, those with attention deficits).

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Books About Bullying: Grades 1-2 | Parents | Scholastic.com

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Books About Bullying: Grades 1-2 | Parents | Scholastic.com

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Books for younger grades that address bullying.

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Build confidence with tales of strength, courage and acceptance for grades 1-2.

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14 Must-Read Anti-Bullying Books for Kids - WeAreTeachers

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14 Must-Read Anti-Bullying Books for Kids - WeAreTeachers

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Books to use in the classroom that address bullying.

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Bullying and cyberbullying is a difficult topic for everyone-students, parents, and teachers, and it's an increasing issue in classrooms statewide. In fact, 1 out of 4 teens are bullied and 1 out of 5 kids admit to being a bully. What's even more startling is that 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools...each month.

With these statistics, it's more important than ever to teach students about the negative effects of bullying, early-on. With the help of our awesome teacher community, we compiled these anti-bullying books (organized from youngest to oldest) that address teasing, friendship, self-esteem and more.

A popular picture book, Chrysanthemum is a story about teasing, self-esteem and acceptance. It has sold more than a million copies and was named a Notable Book for Children by the American Library Association.

Mean Jean is the recess queen, and it isn't until a new girl becomes her friend that recess dynamics change for the better. This book is ideal for addressing bullying that can be resolved without adult intervention.

One of the best things kids can do to combat bullying is to stand up for one another, which is exactly what The Juice Box Bully is about. Students will learn how to have each other's backs instead of doing nothing when they witness bully confrontation.

Readers will learn about the benefits of making new friends in this book. When Jeremy Ross tries to get rid of enemies, his dad comes to the rescue. The catch? The only way for Jeremy to succeed is to spend an entire day playing with the enemy. Soon, his best enemy turns into his best friend!

This book has a powerful anti-bullying message and follows the story of Chloe, who won't let the new girl, Maya, play with her and her friends. Eventually Maya stops coming to school and Chloe realizes that a small act of kindness-like giving Maya friendship-could have gone a long way.

The Hundred Dresses won a Newbery Honor in 1945 and has never been out of print since. It addresses a classmate who is ridiculed by bullies for wearing the same dress to school every day, while other students stand by and do nothing to help.

This book sensitively addresses the needs of quieter children and reminds readers how small acts of kindness can help other children to feel included.

Here's a book that takes on cyberbullying and cliques. When students begin teasing classmates on Facebook, Lyla knows something needs to be done. This is a perfect read for our increasingly digitally-savvy students.

This book pulls from actual events as the author loosely recounts what it was like when he was bullied in sixth grade. It incorporates both sides of bullying and addresses this ongoing issue in the lives of middle-schoolers.

This uplifting novel follows August Pullman to fifth grade, which is his first time entering a mainstream school. August was born with a facial deformity so he'll have to convince his classmates that he is normal, just like them, despite his appearances.

This powerful novel addresses bullying that leads to suicide. The main character, Clay, sees everything differently at the end of the novel when he realizes why Hannah Baker, his classmate, committed suicide, and why she wanted Clay to understand what happened to her.

This book is a must-read for teens. Today's top young adult authors contributed 70 heartfelt stories about bullying in this collection-from being a bystander, to a victim, to a bully themselves. The book also includes resources and suggestions for further reading.

This story is about a teenage girl who faces criminal charges for bullying after a classmate commits suicide. Now she's under attack as her peers, the community and the media berate her for causing such a tragic event.

16-year-old Alice decides to settle the score with classmates after she is diagnosed with leukemia. Knowing she only has a few months left to live, she figures if she gets even and hurts people for the things they've done in the past, it won't matter in the future. To her surprise, she goes into remission and has to face the consequences of all she has said and done.

What happens when your best friend since forever starts hanging out with the "popular" crowd? A story about how hard it is to find your real friends in life, but how the journey is worth it.

A very helpful book for teaching children about empathy, feelings, kindness, compassion, tolerance and recognizing bullying behaviors.

A poignant chapter book that tells the story of a neighborhood bully who is transformed by a strong, unyielding maple. The lessons the boy learns along the way will inspire thoughtful conversations about anger, self-worth and self-control.
We know there are TONS more books available about this very important topic. What books should we add to our list? List them in the comments below!

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14 Must-Read Anti-Bullying Books for Kids - WeAreTeachers

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Bullying and cyberbullying is a difficult topic for everyone-students, parents, and teachers, and it's an increasing issue in classrooms statewide. In fact, 1 out of 4 teens are bullied and 1 out of 5 kids admit to being a bully. What's even more startling is that 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools...each month.

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14 Ways to Create Your Classroom Community

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14 Ways to Create Your Classroom Community

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How to begin creating a sense of community in a classroom.

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The Intangibles of a Celebrated Classroom

It's only September and I'm already thinking June. Not because I'm counting down days or because I wish summer were already here; I'm thinking about May because I want to be one of those teachers who breezes into a lunch conversation and says, "I'm really going to miss this class. They are such a special group." Sometimes we get lucky, there's just this natural chemistry that happens when a certain group of students auspiciously find each other in a classroom. Other times a group will bond over an experience - a shared victory or a great loss. But most of time, this "chemistry" isn't handed to us, it's something we have to go out and create.

And create we do. We cultivate relationships, we create routines, we investigate how to create communities from our classrooms. In fact, if classroom community were my Pinterest board, here's what you would see:

All of us learning each others' names

Students being grouped with classmates they might not seek out on their own and then being asked to learn something new about them

Pictures of student work posted around the classroom

Photographs of students used to organize students into groups

A class poem that we wrote together on the first day of school

Or our class webpage where students can find blog posts of our work in class and photographs of their contributions

There's no doubt that the membership, the trust, the sense of self that comes from being part of a classroom community keeps kids in school and keeps them engaged.
While creating communities takes time and patience, its more elusive partner, "culture," may be even more challenging to unearth. While fueled by a strong community, culture requires us to delve into creating shared values, beliefs and attitudes about learning. In our room, we call these dispositions and realizing them starts by elevating us all to the status of learner.

Building culture is an ongoing process for me. I learned early in my career that building classroom culture varies from year to year and depends entirely on the mindset of the students who walk into the room. This means that I have tried and am always trying new approaches. This year is no exception. If you walked into our classroom you'd see and hear the ways I'm purposefully building culture:

You would hear "we" more than "me" or "you"

You would see my desk in the back of the classroom

You would pause on your way through the door to look in a mirror while reading the phrase "Today, see yourself_____________." Right now it projects "See yourself building confidence."

You would overhear us talk about learning more than about tasks or grades

You would be drawn to the "pizza pan poetry" that reminds us we're always immersed in language

You would snicker while I geek out giving a book talk on this unique collection of children's poems I just found

You would notice the curious mantra, "Tell me what your brain is doing right now."

You would see the language of our learning dispositions on the wall, always reminding us of our real purpose

I like to think that community is our sense of belonging and culture ensures the value of what we belong to. So however we go about it, these "strategies" create that "know it when you see it" community and that "love it when you live it" culture.

After all, when Community and Culture take their rightful places in the desks of our classrooms, we can look forward to a June when we didn't just finish a school year, but put learning in its rightful place: their heads and our shared ideals.
Sarah Brown Wessling is a high school English teacher in Johnston, Iowa. She is the 2010 National Teacher of the Year and is the Teacher Laureate for Teaching Channel. Connect with Sarah on Twitter - @SarahWessling.

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14 Ways to Create Your Classroom Community

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It's only September and I'm already thinking June. Not because I'm counting down days or because I wish summer were already here; I'm thinking about May because I want to be one of those teachers who breezes into a lunch conversation and says, "I'm really going to miss this class.

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Creating a Classroom Community | Scholastic.com

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Creating a Classroom Community | Scholastic.com

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Tips for creating a Classroom Community.

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Creating a Classroom Community | Scholastic

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A successful classroom community promotes positive social skills and academic achievement. Foster a sense of belonging in your classroom with these tips, activities, and

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Education World: Building Your Classroom Community

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Education World: Building Your Classroom Community

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Tools to help create a Classroom Community.

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EducationWorld is pleased to present this professional development resource shared by Dr. Jane Bluestein, an expert in relationship-building, positive school climate and effective instruction.

In a win-win classroom, teachers recognize the importance of the social environment and the impact a sense of community can have on learning and student behavior and attitudes. They pay attention to how kids treat one another and know they have the power to make a difference. Use the strategies below to reduce many of the problems that occur when kids aren't respectful and tolerant with one another.

Willingness

It would be hard to argue with people who have noticed what Michele Borba described as a "steady rise of impulsivity, depression, suicide, violence, peer cruelty, and substance abuse" or the "growing rise in disrespect for authority, incivility, and vulgarity, and cheating and dishonesty." But despite evidence of the truth in such social commentary, don't for a second imagine yourself helpless to present other options for your students.

The good news is that schools can make things better when they try, and even programs targeted to a specific problem can have positive outcomes far beyond the original intention. Teachers are, for many students, the best game in town, and one of few opportunities for them to see an alternative to win-lose patterns so familiar in the media, in their families, and among their peers. But nobody learns win-win strategies in a vacuum, so be prepared to address your attention to their social behaviors and know that your time will be well spent.

Advocacy

You don't necessarily need formal programs or lesson plans for building social skills, although they certainly exist. Some of the most powerful lessons you teach will come from your own modeling-how you interact with students and other adults, as well as your reaction to incidents between kids that you observe or overhear. If you act as an advocate and speak up any time you hear examples of bias, insult, or general meanness, you model behaviors that give kids permission, as well as the language, to do the same.

Unfortunately, in many instances, you are very much in the minority. Research points to infrequent intervention on the part of adults and reveals that the majority of incidents of social, verbal, and physical discrimination and violence are either ignored, accepted, or denied-that is, when adults admit an awareness that these incidents are actually happening. Even worse, there are widespread reports of adults using similarly discriminatory words themselves (including homophobic, racial, and ethnically offensive terms) or laughing when they overhear kids use them.

"The most dangerous deadly weapons in our schools each and every day are words," said Jo Ann Freiberg. "That's where it starts and that's where we can manage it." She cited research that indicates 90% of the school community hears putdowns, slurs, and degrading language on a daily basis. For a lot of kids, this language is used so casually and regularly in their worlds that some may not even realize how powerful and hurtful these words can be.

"Unless school personnel interrupt degrading comments, challenge the biased assumptions, and educate students about differences, we are likely to see perpetuation of bullying behaviors, harassment, and intimidation," Freiberg admonished.

We need to teach kids to stand up for tolerance and respect when they see violations occur. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." While aggressive kids and their targets tend to figure prominently in research, school policies, and intervention programs, let's not forget the power a group of bystanders can bring to a potential incident, as well as the overall climate of the school.

A simple sentence like "We don't say that here" or "Please don't use that word around me" sends a strong message without attacking or judging anyone. Repeat as necessary. Even if students only see it as a standard of behavior for your room alone, you have introduced a reality that requires the conscious, deliberate use of respectful language and opened the possibility of this mindfulness extending beyond your classroom.

Two more comments about the power of language. Freiberg recommends focusing on meanness instead of using the word "bully." "No student wants to be called a bully, no parent will claim that his or her child is a bully, and no school happily admits that there is any bullying in that school. This reality stems not from the fact that certain behaviors have been experienced, but rather because of the connotation of the concept itself."

Likewise, I much prefer the word "target" to "victim" when talking about kids on the receiving end of meanness, exclusion, or discrimination. Although many people use the words interchangeably, the word victim suggests a sense of abiding powerlessness that is not present in the word target-which implies a greater potential for control of the situation, including options and assertive ways out.

Building Tolerance and Friendship Skills

Anyone who dismisses the nastiness some children experience as acceptable rites of passage needs to appreciate the impact that exclusion, rejection, and other forms of attack can have. "When we feel rebuffed or left out, the brain activates a site for registering physical pain," reported Daniel Goleman. School connectedness includes aspects of social acceptance and feeling welcome in school.

But Robert Blum, Clea McNeely, and Peggy Rinehart discovered that "nationally, four percent of students reported that they had no friends. There were socially isolated students in every school studied." In addition to being vulnerable to all the negative outcomes associated with disconnectedness from school, Katz believed that isolated students, the kids who lack the protection of social allies, often appear the easiest and "safest" ones for more aggressive kids to target.

Behaviors do not change on their own, however, and kids don't pick up many prosocial behaviors on the streets. Fortunately, some school personnel are beginning to address the need to build friendship skills and social intelligence in their interactions with kids, if not in the curriculum directly. The process doesn't have to be complicated or formal and, in most instances, will simply be built into the way you run your classroom.

For example, anything you do to accommodate your students' power needs in positive ways (such as offering choices, soliciting and using their input in your plans, or providing accommodations for individual learning styles) significantly reduces the need for them to get power needs met at the expense of others. In other words, few kids need to hurt or disempower other kids to experience a sense of autonomy and control when those needs are being met constructively in other areas of their lives.

For a strategy worth its weight in gold, find opportunities for your students to help other students through a peer-helping, mentoring, or tutoring program. We can teach tolerance and respect by giving kids opportunities to work with others toward some shared goal. Some of my most challenging students ended up being some of the most effective, mature, and responsible mentors in a program that assigned upper-elementary volunteers to help out in the kindergarten. Stay attentive, continue to remind kids about "how we act, talk, and treat one another in here," accommodate power needs, and offer activities where all kids can be helpful and competent. In short order, there's a good chance that you'll start noticing significant and positive changes in the social culture of your class.

This article was excerpted from Becoming a Win-Win Teacher (2010) by Dr. Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Publishing. See the book for a full bibliography of sources referenced above.

Related resources

Also from Dr. Bluestein:
Is Your School Emotionally Safe?
Accommodating Student Sensory Differences
Tips for Positive Teacher-Parent Interaction
The Art of Setting Boundaries
The Beauty of Losing Control, Part 1
The Beauty of Losing Control, Part 2
Stressful Student Experiences: What Not to Do

About Dr. Bluestein

Dr. Jane Bluestein is a speaker, trainer and specialist in programs and resources related to relationship building, effective instruction and personal development.

She is an award-winning author whose books include Creating Emotionally Safe Schools, High School's Not Forever, 21st Century Discipline, The Win-Win Classroom and many others. In addition, she has appeared on CNN, National Public Radio and "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

Dr. Bluestein, formerly a classroom teacher, crisis-intervention counselor and teacher training program coordinator, currently heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Visit her Web site to access free resources, order books, read her blog and more.

Education World®
Copyright © 2012 Education World

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Building Your Classroom Community | Education World

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EducationWorld is pleased to present this professional development resource shared by Dr. Jane Bluestein, an expert in relationship-building, positive school climate and effective instruction. In a win-win classroom, teachers recognize the importance of the social environment and the impact a sense of community can have on learning and student behavior and attitudes.