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Hi Ava! A strength of your piece was definitely the descriptive word choice. It really helped develop the story and made it fun and exciting to read. Especially when you used words like abolished, and great inner thought. It really added a nice touch to the story. Another strength of your piece was the way you used STEAL. I can tell you added a lot of effort and thought into it and it made the piece much better. Since the first time I’ve read your piece it’s gotten much better. However one thing I can suggest for your piece is to make it longer. Talk more about the adventures at her aunt's house! Other than that, great job!

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Hi Ava. A strength in your narrative, “The Trip,” is the way you fooled the audience! I loved how you said What is my aunt like? How long will I have to stay at her house for? When will my parents get back from their business trip?”

Ms. Chipely however seemed to not hear sally. In addition, I like how you didn’t only give one emotion about Sally meeting her aunt for the first time. However, a suggestion is try to put more sensory detail in your narrative.

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Hi, Ava! A big strength in your essay, “Sports for Students of Schools”, is how you describe very clearly why school sports should stay in school throughout your whole essay.The way you described how school sports should stay in school will make the reader want to read your essay over and over again. In addition,I like your word choice throughout your essay!Just dont forget to add 3 questions to your warrant!But overall your essay is amazing.

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Hi Ava! A major strength of your writing piece was your great descriptive words. The way you described the girl making the goal in your anecdote was very easy to visualize and made your writing a lot more intriguing. If someone didn’t know much about soccer, the way you described it made sure the reader would still understand what’s going on. To add on, you also did a great job with your reasonings. They were very convincing and made sense with your piece. One thing I wish you could do, is make your last anecdote a little longer. It’s a little short,a nbd I’m left with some questions about the lasting effects. Other than that, great job!

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Hi Ava! I love the way your intro started with a banger and how it was so powerful! I also love the way you wrote your bridge, and how specific you wrote it. ( It is important to realize that if principals at school don’t care about sports that the students will never get the benefit of having sports in schools. Everyone should care because not only those reasons but it makes a student feel better about themselves while playing sports and making friends while laughing with them. Even worse, people who decide what schools do just don’t even think that the gym is important after all. Although the children and kids in the schools just need a break from class every day or every two days from just sitting there and making your brain work while not doing anything else besides that). However a suggestion is, to put more sensory detail in your writing to make it pop out more! Great job!

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A strength in your memoir the Email: Ava Bogdan is how much power you put into your memoir and how you put so much disruption in it too. I also loved how much onomatopoeia you put in because it really brought your story together. In addition, I loved how you incorporated your brother and sister into the story because I haven’t seen this technique yet so I think it's unique! However a suggestion is to maybe add more inner thoughts into your piece to so what you were thinking in your head.

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Hey Ava! I though you memoir was great, it really showed how excited you were to be going to tryout for the nationals team. Also your figurative language was good and it really showed how you really wanted to be on the team. I also really liked your ending and your lesson I thought that was really good. One thing you could of added was more detail. Besides that, great memoir. ;)

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A strength of your memoir is all your detail like when you talked about your mom cooking and you doing your homework.All this detail makes me think that you have a good relationship with your mom.I also like when you put your sounds and smells.Like when you  you talked about your dinner and how you said your pasta and a big pot of sauce smelled like ripe tomatoes.And when you talked about your burning wood in your fire.However i think you can add more detail about your sister and brothers.

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Hey Ava! I enjoyed reading your About Me, “Ava’s Astronomical Writing ''. I loved how you included that you would like a Husky/ Australian lab as a puppy.  Australian labs are a favorite of mine as well. In addition, I loved that you put in your future goal and your favorite players! One suggestion that I could make is for you to say what food in particular you like to cook with your grandma and your favorite skill she taught you, but overall it's an amazing piece!

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One thing I liked about your about me piece was the intro. It was well worded and entertaining. I also liked how you explained how you like soccer and your favorite players. It made me understand more about you. Although I wish you explained more about the things you bake/cook.

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I like your title, I also want a dog.you can also add what you don’t like

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Hey Ava. I really enjoyed reading your About Me piece. I really like how you added that you wanted your Husky/Australian lab as a puppy, I think details like these can really bring out someone’s personality. Great job! In addition, I love how you used alliteration. For example, “radical readers.” I really like the creativity! However, I suggest that you tell us a bit more about your favorite things to do. What do you do with your friends? Where do you play soccer?

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Hello Ava! One thing I enjoyed reading was when you talked about all the things you liked doing. The way you talked about all the things you liked to do really helped me get to know you better, especially the part where you talked about what dogs you want. Another thing I liked was how you mentioned how you like cooking with your grandma. It was really cool hearing that you like to watch and learn from how your grandma cooks. One thing I suggest is adding more detail. Maybe you can describe why you like and dislike certain things. Great job!

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your writing is great but you could have also explained what you made with your grandma.in addition you could say that YOU GUYS MADE A SPECIAL DINNER OR CAME UP WITH A NEW RECIPE OR MADE SOME DESSERTS LIKE CAKE OR SOMETHING.