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Something I did well was I gave a good sense of time.

One thing I need to work on is including a where.

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Something I did well was I had good diologue.

Something I have to work on was making it more like a journal entry

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i did good on the ending

i need to work on conventions

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I did good on showing not telling.

I need to work on developing dialogue.

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I did good on conventions and I need to work on not making my story so long.

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Something i did well was that i  used concrete words and   sensory details to describe events.
Something  i need to work on is grade level grammar, punctiation , spelling.capitals and, etc

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I had a solid descriptive words and  grammar.
I needed to work on a detailed setting and time.

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I had a good central conflict

I could work on showing not telling the characters actions, thoughts, and feelings.

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I did a good job of showing not telling what's happening

I need to work on describing places and things with context

# data[].attributes.body
I was good at using different words instead of said, and using detailed words.
I could work on describing settings

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I did well on the theme of the story.

I need to work on more dialogue.

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I had good dialogue

But I could work on giving more details about my characters like the thoughts and feelings of them all.

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I had good setting and Time being the afternoon.

I need to work on the amount of dialogue

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I had good vocabulary but I need to work on using less dialogue.

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This is what I did well: Provided the characters actions feelings and thoughts.
This is what I need to work: work on central conflict