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Dr. Russ Harris - Acceptance Commitment Therapy

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FACE COVID – How To Respond Effectively To The Corona Crisis

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(for adult, teenager, or child)

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Bus Route Meal Service Monday - Friday

School buses will stop at designated intersections to deliver grab and go meals.

Breakfast and Lunch Menus

Find out what's on the menu at your Grab & Go location or Bus Route Meal Service today.

Pandemic Electronic Benefit Transfer (P-EBT)

Important information about food assistance for eligible students

Map of Food Resources in Fairfax County

Searchable map of FCPS and community food distribution sites

Mapa de recursos alimenticios en el condado de Fairfax

Mapa localizador de los sitios en FCPS y en la comunidad para la distribución de alimentos.

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Food for Students During the School Year

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School buses will stop at designated intersections to deliver grab and go meals. Find out what's on the menu at your Grab & Go location or Bus Route Meal Service today. Important information about food assistance for eligible students Searchable map of FCPS and community food distribution sites Mapa localizador de los sitios en FCPS y en la comunidad para la distribución de alimentos.

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Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults During the Coronavirus Crisis - Child Mind Institute

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Tips for parents with older children at home during the coronavirus crisis. How to validate their feelings and help them stay active and healthy.

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Let's look after ourselves, and each other. - Calm Blog

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As days of isolation turn into weeks, many of us are feeling increasingly uprooted from our normal lives. In a world on lockdown, it isn't just our routines that are being disrupted, but our relationships too. Thankfully, distance doesn't have to mean disconnection.

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Validating your child's feelings during COVID 19

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Validating your child's feelings during COVID 19

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Caregiver Guide to Helping your Family Cope with COVID

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Caregiver Guide to Helping your Family Cope with COVID

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We're all on edge because of the coronavirus. Our daily lives have been disrupted, we aren't sure what tomorrow may bring, and for many of us the nonstop news and social media coverage isn't helping.

Our experts say that dealing with your own anxiety can be the most powerful way to make sure your kids feel secure. If you or your children are feeling worried, learning how to deal with that anxiety in a healthy way can help the whole family be more resilient, both now and when the pandemic is finally over.

"The treatment for anxiety isn't to make the fear go away, it's to manage the fear and tolerate uncertainty," explains Jerry Bubrick, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "So for the kids who've been in treatment for this, it's almost like they have an immune response or they're vaccinated against uncertainty. They've been training for this and now they're able to put their skills in place and for many of them the coronavirus is not affecting them as much as those of us who aren't used to dealing with uncertainty on a daily level."

Many parents are having a harder time dealing with COVID-19 than their children, and some of the anxiety that kids are experiencing may be inadvertently passed on by worried parents.

As parents, we need to be modeling for our kids how to react to stressful times by coping with anxiety in healthy ways. "I think we have to be mindful of the present and stay focused on what is actually happening and not let ourselves go to worst case scenarios," Dr. Bubrick recommends. "If we're showing our kids catastrophic thinking and head-in-your-hands worry, and crying and fear, then they're going to learn that's the way to handle the times now."

Be smart about what you're reading. While we should make sure we are informed about how best to keep our families safe, we should also be thoughtful about what we are reading online to make sure it's actually helpful. It is easy to inadvertently get sucked into reading every update as it comes in, or clicking on, in Dr. Bubrick's words, "the doomsday apocalypse kind of stories, which I would consider to be 'mental health fake news.'"

Consider putting a limit on the number of articles you read, or for how long you will read about the coronavirus each day. If you're consuming media that is making you anxious - take a break. Being informed is one thing; being overexposed is another.

Focus on what you're doing right now. Though we're getting more information about the virus daily, we don't know what will happen, something that's a massive anxiety trigger for almost everyone. It can be tempting to get caught up in imagining what the future might look like, but Dr. Bubrick recommends trying to stay focused on what's happening now rather that what might happen later on. "Focus on making sure you're in the moment, and dealing with things in the present."

Stop yourself if notice that you are getting carried away with "what ifs." It will help if you can set aside time to regularly practice mindfulness, which is a tool to help people stay grounded and calm. Parents can practice mindfulness alone or with children. You can't control the future, but you can take charge of the present.

Rely on routines. Establishing a routine that involves exercise, regular meals and healthy amounts of sleep is also crucial to regulating our moods and our worries. It can be hard to accept that our old routines are no longer possible because of COVID-19 precautions, but looking for ways to be flexible and start a new routine can help you feel less anxious and more productive. Remind yourself that life is still continuing, and ground yourself by doing things like making agendas and setting goals.

When kids are feeling anxious, it may or may not be clear to parents. "We shouldn't be looking for just one thing," says Dr. Bubrick. "We should be ready to handle a variety of different expressions of anxiety." Anxiety could look like:

Kids may not always be able to express how they are feeling. For younger children, Dr. Bubrick suggests using a feelings chart instead of saying "Tell me how anxious you are." With a feelings chart, which you can find on the internet, you can ask kids to point to the feeling they are having now. Parents can also use a traffic light chart to help kids share how intense their feeling is - a red light means they feel overwhelmed, a yellow light is medium and a green light is okay.

For kids who are more able to articulate how they are feeling, Dr. Bubrick says it is better to ask what psychologists call "forced choice questions." "If you ask a vague question you're going to get a vague answer," he says. "So instead of asking 'How was your day?' which is pretty vague, maybe ask, "Did your anxiety get in the way of you having a good day today?" he suggests.

If you're wondering about a teenager, Dr. Bubrick recommends talking about yourself first. "You can say something like, "I saw this article today and it made me wonder about this and that. Did you see something like that? What's your reaction to it?'"

Structure their day. As parents we often think that setting boundaries for a child is a way to make our lives easier, but in fact kids thrive on them, too. It is easy for children to get bored or fretful if they are facing a day without structure, and anxiety can thrive under those circumstances.

Make sure that you are structuring their days when they are cooped up at home. Alternate chores or schoolwork with more fun activities and periods of free time. As restrictions lift and summer sets in, be sure to incorporate safe, socially distant outdoor activities as well. Make sure kids are still getting the chance to exercise and socialize with friends via video chats and social media if they are on it.

Avoid giving too much reassurance. For kids of all ages, Dr. Bubrick recommends avoiding getting into a cycle of providing too much reassurance. Kids can come to rely on the reassurance and want to hear it more and more often - and when a parent isn't able to give them complete reassurance their anxiety can worsen.

Instead, remind kids of the things they are doing to take care of themselves (like washing their hands and staying indoors) and encourage them to focus on being in the moment. They can practice mindfulness activities alone or with you.

Model calm yourself. Don't share your worries with your children, and if you are feeling anxious, find a way to ground yourself. "After this crisis is over, your kids are going to walk away from this having learned things," says Dr. Bubrick. "What will they have learned from you in the way you handled this? Will they look back and say 'Wow, I'm really impressed with how Mom and Dad held it together?' Or are they going to walk away and think the world is a scary place?"

Look for the positive. Finally, Dr. Bubrick recommends looking for the silver linings. "I spoke to a family this morning on Skype and they said, 'You know, our kids are all together for the first time in months and they're playing games together and they're laughing together and we're spending time together.' So there are silver linings, you just have to look for them."

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Anxiety and Coping With the Coronavirus - Child Mind Institute

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Tips to help parents cope with anxiety during coronavirus.

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The teenage years have a lot in common with the terrible twos. During both stages our kids are doing exciting new things, but they're also pushing boundaries (and buttons) and throwing tantrums. The major developmental task facing both age groups is also the same: kids must pull away from parents and begin to assert their own independence. No wonder they sometimes act as if they think they're the center of the universe.

This makes for complicated parenting, especially because teens are beginning to make decisions about things that that have real consequence, like school and friends and driving, not to speak of substance use and sex. But they aren't good at regulating their emotions yet, so teens are prone to taking risks and making impulsive decisions.

This means that having a healthy and trusting parent-child relationship during the teenage years is more important than ever. Staying close isn't easy, though. Teens often aren't very gracious when they are rejecting what they perceive to be parental interference. While they're an open book to their friends, who they talk to constantly via social media, they might become mute when asked by mom how their day went. A request that seemed reasonable to dad may be received as a grievous outrage.

If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your child is going through their terrible teens. It is a phase that will pass, and your job as parent is still vitally important, only the role may have changed slightly. Here are some tips for navigating the new terrain:

1. Listen. If you are curious about what's going on in your teen's life, asking direct questions might not be as effective as simply sitting back and listening. Kids are more likely to be open with their parents if they don't feel pressured to share information. Remember even an offhand comment about something that happened during the day is their way of reaching out, and you're likely to hear more if you stay open and interested - but not prying.

2. Validate their feelings. It is often our tendency to try to solve problems for our kids, or downplay their disappointments. But saying something like "They weren't right for you anyway" after a romantic disappointment can feel dismissive. Instead, show kids that you understand and empathize by reflecting their sentiments back: "Wow, that does sound difficult."

3. Show trust. Teens want to be taken seriously, especially by their parents. Look for ways to show that you trust your teen. Asking them for a favor shows that you rely on them. Volunteering a privilege shows that you think they can handle it. Letting your kid know you have faith in them will boost their confidence and make them more likely to rise to the occasion.

4. Don't be a dictator. You still get to set the rules, but be ready to explain them. While pushing the boundaries is natural for teenagers, hearing your thoughtful explanation about why parties on school nights aren't allowed will make the rule seem more reasonable.

5. Give praise. Parents tend to praise children more when they are younger, but adolescents need the self-esteem boost just as much. Teenagers might act like they're too cool to care about what their parents think, but the truth is they still want your approval. And looking for opportunities to be positive and encouraging is good for the relationship, especially when it is feeling strained.

6. Control your emotions. It's easy for your temper to flare when your teen is being rude, but don't respond in kind. Remember that you're the adult and they are less able to control their emotions or think logically when they're upset. Count to ten or take some deep breaths before responding. If you're both too upset to talk, hit pause until you've had a chance to calm down.

7. Do things together. Talking isn't the only way to communicate, and during these years it's great if you can spend time doing things you both enjoy, whether it's cooking or hiking or going to the movies, without talking about anything personal. It's important for kids to know that they can be in proximity to you, and share positive experiences, without having to worry that you will pop intrusive questions or call them out for something.

8. Share regular meals. Sitting down to eat a meal together as a family is another great way to stay close. Dinner conversations give every member of the family a chance to check in and talk casually about sports or television or politics. Kids who feel comfortable talking to parents about everyday things are likely to be more open when harder things come up, too. One rule: no phones allowed.

9. Be observant. It's normal for kids to go through some changes as they mature, but pay attention if you notice changes to their mood, behavior, energy level, or appetite. Likewise, take note if they stop wanting to do things that used to make them happy, or if you notice them isolating. If you see a change in your teen's daily ability to function, ask them about it and be supportive (without being judgmental). They may need your help and it could be a sign they needs to talk to a mental health professional.

How can I communicate better with my teenager?

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Tips for Communicating With Your Teen - Child Mind Institute

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How to keep the parent-child relationship strong during a tricky age. Tips on communicating with your teen, and how to do so more effectively.

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When you're a parent, self-care often slips to the bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself isn't a luxury. It's essential. And during this difficult time, when children are home and stress is running high, it's more important than ever. Here are five tips from our clinicians that can help.

The pandemic has been long, and even though the end is in sight, we're all struggling to maintain our mental health. Even now, much of the personal time that was part of daily routines pre-pandemic - commutes, time alone at home or at the store, social time with friends, sitting in a restaurant - is not available for folks with kids at home. Without it, we have to be intentional about creating space to recharge and decompress. This could look like taking a shower or bath, walking around the block alone (or with your dog), or designating time to read or simply zone out after the kids have gone to bed.

The colder weather and ongoing stress we're all experiencing right now can make it easy to slip into habits that feel good in the moment but can be detrimental in the long term. "Make sure you're eating properly, try to get enough sleep (but not too much!), and create a routine that includes physical activity," recommends Jill Emanuele, PhD, Senior Director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. This doesn't mean pressuring yourself to get into tip-top shape, or not eating ice cream or binging your favorite shows. It does mean being thoughtful and intentional about how you're treating yourself and your body. Small changes like making time to take a walk, do a short exercise routine, or choosing to go to bed a little earlier than usual can reduce stress and help you feel more relaxed and resilient.

"Perfectionism and the coronavirus don't mix," says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "It's time to be exceedingly realistic, both at work and as a parent." Avoid burnout by setting realistic expectations and giving yourself grace if you can't meet them. "Practice forgiveness and self-compassion," says Dr. Anderson. Parents should remind themselves that these are unprecedented times. "There's no playbook for this. Remember you're doing your best during a very difficult time. Cut yourself some slack."

It's been long (long long long) year and anxiety is, understandably, rampant. With so much worry and uncertainty floating around it can be easy to absorb other people's fears and concerns without even realizing it. If you have a friend or family member who's in the habit of sending worst-case-scenario news or is prone to sending anxiety-provoking text messages, practice a little emotional distancing. Let them know you sympathize but that you're taking a break from worrying news, or simply hit the Do Not Disturb button. You can always reconnect when things are calmer.

Self-care can be as simple as taking a shower, but it doesn't have to be. Finding time to get back in touch with hobbies or activities you enjoy or making the choice to learn a new skill can be a great way to practice self-care. Maybe there's a knitting project you've always wanted to try, or you've been meaning to learn how to needlepoint. If young children at home make solo activities unrealistic, seek out activities you can enjoy together, like baking bread, or making art.

Finally, remember, being kind to yourself will not only help you stay calm during this difficult time, it will help ensure that you have the bandwidth you need to take good care of your family. When you're running on fumes, caring for others can tax your already depleted resources to breaking point. But when you prioritize your needs, you're filling the tank, emotionally and physically, and that means you'll be in a position to offer comfort and care to others when they need it most.

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Self-Care in the Time of Coronavirus - Child Mind Institute

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When you're a parent, self-care often slips to the bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself isn't a luxury. It's essential. And during this difficult time, when children are home and stress is running high, it's more important than ever. Here are five tips from our clinicians that can help.

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National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

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Families across the country are adapting to the evolving changes in daily life caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Most schools, places of public gathering, and nonessential businesses are closed, and parents and other caregivers are faced with helping their families adjust to the new normal. This includes trying to keep children occupied, feeling safe, and attempting to keep up with schoolwork as best as possible. None of this is easy, but it helps to stay focused on what is possible in order to reinforce a sense of control and to reassure children that they are okay, and that the situation will get better.

It is very important to remember that children look to adults for guidance on how to react to stressful events. Acknowledging some level of concern, without panicking, is appropriate and can result in taking the necessary actions that reduce the risk of illness. Teaching children positive preventive measures, talking with them about their fears, and giving them a sense of some control over their risk of infection can help reduce anxiety. This is also a tremendous opportunity for adults to model for children problem-solving, flexibility, and compassion as we all work through adjustting daily schedules, balancing work and other activities, getting creative about how we spend time, processing new information from authorities, and connecting and supporting friends and family members in new ways. The following tips can help.

STAY CALM, LISTEN, AND OFFER REASSURANCE

Be a role model. Children will react to and follow your reactions. They learn from your example.

Be aware of how you talk about COVID-19. Your discussion about COVID-19 can increase or decrease your child's fear. If true, remind your child that your family is healthy, and you are going to do everything within your power to keep loved ones safe and well. Carefully listen or have them draw or write out their thoughts and feelings and respond with truth and reassurance.

Explain social distancing. Children probably don't fully understand why parents/guardians aren't allowing them to be with friends. Tell your child that your family is following the guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which include social distancing. Social distancing means staying away from others until the risk of contracting COVID-19 is under control. Showing older children the "flatten the curve" charts will help them grasp the significance of social distancing. Explain that while we don't know how long it will take to "flatten the curve" to reduce the number of those infected, we do know that this is a critical time-we must follow the guidelines of health experts to do our part.

Demonstrate deep breathing. Deep breathing is a valuable tool for calming the nervous system. Do breathing exercises with your children.

Focus on the positive. Celebrate having more time to spend as a family. Make it as fun as possible. Do family projects. Organize belongings, create masterpieces. Sing, laugh, and go outside, if possible, to connect with nature and get needed exercise. Allow older children to connect with their friends virtually.

Establish and maintain a daily routine. Keeping a regular schedule provides a sense of control, predictability, calm, and well-being. It also helps children and other family members respect others' need for quiet or uninterrupted time and when they can connect with friends virtually.

Identify projects that might help others. This could include: writing letters to the neighbors or others who might be stuck at home alone or to healthcare workers; sending positive messages over social media; or reading a favorite children's book on a social media platform for younger children to hear.

Offer lots of love and affection.

MONITOR TELEVISION VIEWING AND SOCIAL MEDIA

Parents/guardians should monitor television, internet, and social media viewing-both for themselves and their children. Watching continual updates on COVID-19 may increase fear and anxiety. Developmentally inappropriate information, or information designed for adults, can also cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children.

Dispel rumors and inaccurate information. Explain to your child that many stories about COVID-19 on the internet may include rumors and inaccurate information. Older children, in particular, may be accessing a great deal of information online and from friends that contains inaccuracies. Talk to your child about factual disease information.

Provide alternatives. Engage your child in games or other exciting activities instead.

TAKE TIME TO TALK

Let your children's questions guide you. Answer their questions truthfully, but don't offer unnecessary details or facts. Don't avoid giving them the information that experts indicate as crucial to your children's well-being. Often, children and youth do not talk about their concerns because they are confused or don't want to worry loved ones. Younger children absorb scary information in waves. They ask questions, listen, play, and then repeat the cycle. Children always feel empowered if they can control some aspects of their life. A sense of control reduces fear.

BE HONEST AND ACCURATE

Correct misinformation. Children often imagine situations worse than reality; therefore, offering developmentally appropriate facts can reduce fears.

Explain simple safety steps. Tell your child this disease spreads between people who are in close contact with one another, when an infected person coughs or sneezes, or when one touches infected objects or surfaces.

Stay up-to-date on the facts. Go to https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.htmlfor additional factual information.

KEEP EXPLANATIONS AGE-APPROPRIATE

Early elementary school children. Provide brief, simple information that balances COVID-19 facts with appropriate reassurances that adults are there to help keep them healthy and to take care of them if they do get sick. Give simple examples of the steps people make every day to stop germs and stay healthy, such as washing hands. Use language such as "adults are working hard to keep you safe."

Upper elementary and early middle school children. This age group often is more vocal in asking questions about whether they indeed are safe and what will happen if COVID-19 spreads in their area. They may need assistance separating reality from rumor and fantasy. Discuss the efforts national, state, and community leaders are doing to prevent germs from spreading.

Upper middle and high school students. Issues can be discussed in more depth. Refer them to appropriate sources of COVID-19 facts. Provide honest, accurate, and factual information about the current status of COVID-19. Engage them in decision-making about family plans, scheduling, and helping with chores at home.

For all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!

STAY CONNECTED TO SCHOOL

Locate learning resources. Schools' capacity to conduct virtual learning experiences will vary greatly, but most schools are providing lessons and learning activities for children to do. Take advantage of the many companies and online platforms currently offering free learning opportunities.

Identify additional resources. Know if your school or district is providing additional resources, such meals, or technology, such as a laptop or tablet.

Stay in touch. Find out how the school is communicating with families and students. Be sure to read any communications you receive. Check with you children, particularly older ones, as they may be receiving information directly that would be helpful for you to know.

Connect with school staff. Reach out to your child's teacher and other relevant school staff if you have concerns about their coping and keeping up with assignments or activities.

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS OF COVID-19

According to the CDC, symptoms of fever, cough, and/or shortness of breath appear within 14 days after being exposed to the disease.

For some people, the symptoms are similar to having a cold; for others, they are more severe or even life threatening.

MODEL BASIC HYGIENE AND HEALTHY LIFESTYLE PRACTICES

Practice daily good hygiene. Encourage your child to practice these simple steps to prevent spreading the virus.

Wash your hands multiple times a day for 20 seconds. Singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" or "Happy Birthday" twice is about 20 seconds.

Compliment your children when they use a Kleenex or sneeze or cough into the bend of their elbow. Teach them the importance of throwing away used tissues immediately after sneezing or coughing.

Sadly, handshakes and hugs need to be limited to immediate family members, at least for now.

Foster a sense of control. Offering guidance on what your child/children can do to prevent infection offers them a greater sense of control, which reduces anxiety.

Build the immune system. Encourage your child to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly; this will help them develop a robust immune system to fight off illness.

BE AWARE OF YOUR CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH

Most children will manage well with the support of parents and other family members, even if showing signs of some anxiety or concerns, such as difficulty sleeping or concentrating. Some children, however, may have risk factors for more intense reactions, including severe anxiety, depression, and suicidal behaviors. Risk factors can include a pre-existing mental health problem, prior traumatic experiences or abuse, family instability, or the loss of a loved one. Parents and caregivers should contact a professional if children exhibit significant changes in behavior or any of the following symptoms for more than 2 weeks.

Preschoolers -thumb sucking, bedwetting, clinging to parents, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, fear of the dark, regression in behavior, and withdrawal.

Elementary school children -irritability, aggressiveness, clinginess, nightmares, school avoidance, poor concentration, and withdrawal from activities and friends.

Adolescents -sleeping and eating disturbances, agitation, increase in conflicts, physical complaints, delinquent behavior, and poor concentration.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
For more information related to schools and physical and mental health, visit www.nasponline.org and © 2020, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East Wes t Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, 301-657-0270 www.nasn.org.
Adapted from, Talking to Children About COVID-19 (Coronavirus): A Parent Resource, National Association of School Psychologists and National Association of School Nurses, NASP, 2020.

Contributor: School Psychologist Kathy Sievering

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Helping Children Cope With Changes Resulting From COVID-19

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Families across the country are adapting to the evolving changes in daily life caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Most schools, places of public gathering, and nonessential businesses are closed, and parents and other caregivers are faced with helping their families adjust to the new normal.

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Information, Resources, Webinars, and more!

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Welcome

Our office hours are from 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Monday - Friday. We encourage families and staff to make an appointment for consultations, especially when requiring an interpreter.

We offer free webinars, confidential consultations, a lending library, and resources to help adults support the success of all students, including those with learning challenges, special needs, and disabilities.

FCPS Family Resource Center
2334 Gallows Road, Room 105 (Door 1)
Dunn Loring, VA 22027
CALL: 703-204-3941
TEXT: 571-496-8210
[email protected]

Look What's New at the Family Resource Center

The FRC created the following guides for FCPS families, schools, and the community. The guides can be viewed online or printed by just clicking on the guide you wish to view.

Free Webinars and Consultations

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The Family Resource Center (FRC) offers free webinars, consultations, a lending library, and resources to help adults support the success of all students, including those with learning challenges, special needs, and disabilities. The center was formerly named the Parent Resource Center.

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Maintaining Wellness and School Supports Webinar

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Maintaining Wellness and School Supports Webinar

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Maintaining Wellness and School Supports During COVID-19

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National Alliance on Mental Illness information and resources

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Typical behaviors and how to help your child cope

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Typical behaviors and how to help your child cope

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Tips to support healthy coping during stressful times.

Everyone's needs count, now more than ever. Practicing compassion toward ourselves is essential. Adjusting our expectations, celebrating small successes and staying connected to sources of support are all examples of building resilience. Below are some tips to support healthy coping.

Safety & Trust

Promote emotional and physical safety through relationship building and predictable routines.

Recognize all feelings are valid.

Establish & maintain flexible routines.

Practice healthy eating, sleeping & exercise habits.

Identify personal & medical contacts for when you need support.

Communicate care through words & actions.

Build in opportunities for children to share their feelings & ask questions.

Establish consistent routines for academics.

Remember mistakes help us to grow.

Limit exposure to news & media.

Empowerment & Choice

Honor strengths and address challenges. Create opportunities for success.

Reflect on your strengths & how they are helping you.

Prioritize & adjust expectations.

Practice patience in balancing work & home responsibilities.

Seek information from reputable sources & choose what is best for you.

Incorporate family games, gratitude, mindfulness & movement activities.

Offer specific words of encouragement.

Share your family's stories of rebounding from challenges.

Provide children choices for a healthy sense of control.

Mark the passage of time in a meaningful way.

Expand children's learning to include day-to-day opportunities to support competence (i.e. cooking, cleaning, gardening, organizing)

Give children opportunities to play.

Collaboration

Strengthen virtual connections with family, friends, colleagues, and community.

Participate in family meetings.

Practice cultural & faith traditions.

Stay connected with supports & build in breaks from screens.

Contact your child's teacher with questions.

Develop family activities where all can contribute.

Celebrate birthdays & joyful moments..

Offer opportunities for children to share their experiences with friends and family.

Connect to your school mental health team.

Find creative ways of serving your community.

Additional Resources

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Building Resilience through Compassion: A Parent Resource

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Tips to support healthy coping during stressful times. Everyone's needs count, now more than ever. Practicing compassion toward ourselves is essential. Adjusting our expectations, celebrating small successes and staying connected to sources of support are all examples of building resilience. Below are some tips to support healthy coping.

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Feelings of grief in children during COVID

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Feelings of grief in children during COVID

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Many people are grieving for their "normal" lives during the coronavirus outbreak. (Image: Adobe Stock/Fawn Gracey, Boston Children's Hospital)

As the COVID-19 outbreak moves into another month, do you find yourself feeling angry? Helpless? Sad? Lost? Disappointed? Accepting? Or maybe you run through the gamut of emotions on a given day or week.

According to Erica Lee and Heather Potts, psychologists in the Department of Psychiatry at Boston Children's Hospital, these feelings are all understandable reactions to the grief we feel at the loss of our "normal" lives.

You don't need to lose a loved one to feel grief, explains Lee. Rather, grief is a normal reaction to the very abnormal circumstances of our current lives. "We've all lost so much of our life as we knew it before the pandemic, along with much of the safety and predictability we were used to."

How kids experience grief

Just like us, our kids are also feeling grief. But their reactions may be different. "For children and teens, grief may look more like anger, frustration, confusion, or having a shorter temper," says Lee. "Some kids are also regressing and clinging to parents more."

It's also normal to move from one feeling to another. "Your child might wake up feeling fine in the morning, and then start to feel sad as the day goes on," says Potts. "Grief is a complex emotion, and it's totally normal to have different feelings throughout the day."

Potts says she has seen many of her clients and their parents experience the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - sometimes moving back and forth through several stages within a matter of days.

Other signs of grief

Exhaustion is another byproduct of grief that many people are feeling. "When you're under stress and grieving, your body is mentally exhausted," says Potts. "Every day we wake up and have to reconcile with this new reality. So, it's okay to take everything down a notch and be forgiving of yourself and your kids if you don't meet all of your goals for the day."

Kids may also show other physical signs of stress and grief, such as sleeping more, feeling sluggish, eating at irregular times, or having headaches or stomachaches. Potts says these are also normal reactions.

Ways to help work through the grief

Potts and Lee say one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your kids is to honor your feelings of grief and make space for them. "It helps to let children know these are okay feelings to have, and we're all in it together. Many people might not understand what they are feeling as a typical grief reaction, but when we frame it that way, it's easier to understand what's happening to them," says Lee.

They also offer these suggestions for dealing with grief:

Talk with your kids.

"The single best thing you can do for your kids during this pandemic is just to sit with them ask how they are feeling and how they are doing," says Lee. Potts adds, "None of us have ever been through something like this before, so just to be there and be present with your kids is the best medicine you can give them right now. That sense of safety and connection is what kids will remember when we come out other side."

Practice self-compassion.

"Parents need to recognize that what they are being asked to do right now is impossible," says Lee. "You may think you're doing the same job you've always done, just at home, but you're not. You're now not only an employee, you're also a teacher and a counselor and a chef and a lot of other things." She says it's important not to beat yourself up if you can't do it all. "Take care of yourself and understand that being loving, forgiving, and flexible are most important at this time."

Establish routines.

Lee says that trying to work some regular routines into the day, without going overboard, can be incredibly stabilizing for families right now. "Small things like regular meal, sleep, and wake times will help keep our bodies healthy, and that helps with our minds, too." says Lee. "Having some sense of normalcy can be really comforting for kids right now."

Get some exercise.

Taking a daily walk with your family or just spending some time outside is also good for the mind. "Getting our bodies moving and getting fresh air helps ground us in the broader world," says Lee. "We usually spend the day interacting with others, and since we're missing that stimulation right now, this is another way to get our brains working and improve our mood."

Set aside your guilt.

"Some people feel guilty about feeling disappointment and loss over canceled events, because they know many people are in much worse situations," says Potts. "But it's okay to feel that sense of loss, whether it's for your old life in general, or missing a family trip or birthday celebration. These milestones are huge, and it's okay to feel a real sense of loss."

Find new ways to celebrate.

If you are missing a child's birthday or graduation, celebrate and honor the event however you can. "Because of these unique circumstances families have had to get really creative. Kids are having Zoom birthdays or birthday car parades, while others are having virtual dance parties instead of school dances," says Potts. "Lee says that "Some kids have even told me they've had the best birthday ever."

Get more answers about Boston Children's response to COVID-19.

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Dealing with feelings of grief in the time of coronavirus - Boston Children's Discoveries

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As the COVID-19 outbreak moves into another month, do you find yourself feeling angry? Helpless? Sad? Lost? Disappointed? Accepting? Or maybe you run through the gamut of emotions on a given day or week.

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Life Kit wants to help. Here's a comic to help you sharpen your misinformation Spidey senses:

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Comic: Fake News Can Be Deadly. Here's How To Spot It : Life Kit

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Experts say the coronavirus outbreak may be the biggest source of Internet misinformation ever. Fake cures, unscientific tips, and conspiracy theories about COVID-19 are flooding the Internet - but there are ways to sniff out misinformation.