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- Certainty: Put things into perspective on what I need certainty for, or what is under my control
- To be liked/included: Consider which relationships you want to invest in, and just focus on those.

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Goal #1: to command/be in control
give up control

Goal #2: to be protected + be self-reliant
communicate needs upfront

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To be self-reliant/independent: Get input on tasks early so then you can work independently and feel like you got it done yourself.  Ask for ownership of your work. Give feedback to micromanagers.

To be valued/approved: Asking for regular, positive feedback. Reframe parts of the job as accomplishments vs deliverables (eg Agile). Work in a job where you see your impact/accomplishments regularly. Make your work visible to others.

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To be valued / respected: Surround yourself with the right people, value and respect yourself otherwise others may not, express yourself and your values confidently / authentically
To be stimulated: Be intentional with commitments, know what you like / don't like, push yourself out of you comfort zone / take risks, take agency and make your voice heard, come in with an open mind

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To be valued: communicating the need when in newer relationships

To be involved: communicate the need and come up with procedures to have it met

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To be included: you don't need to be the one passively being invited to things - be the initiative you hope to see!

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Consistency/fairness: feeling that you're not fighting a battle that's not stacked one way. Getting out of an unfair situation if possible, its tough to change people's viewpoint. Or, call out when things aren't being consistent

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To build a thriving family: communicate with family on what that looks like, constructively communicate the need to my colleagues, set healthy boundaries

To feel in control: take control over the life things you can and build a good routine that provides personal structure, ask for or create a structure and framework within which to operate

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To be valued: We want to feel like the work we put in was appreciated. Timely feedback, public recognition if we went above and beyond, feeling of acceptance.

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Need #1: To be comfortable: confide in close friends that being comfortable is a need so they can support me in bigger groups.

Need #2: To have a cause - could split career between daily job and doing nonprofit / board work as well

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To be loved: small things, little gestures (consistently) - esp. with loved ones/family; surrounding yourself with the 'right' people - quality over quantity; give love to get love; being thoughtful consistently;

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Valued / Accepted: Valuing yourself, owning your experiences and points of view. Trusting your intuition around people who are or are not smart enough to value you. Don't try to please those who don't value you - just move on.

Self-Reliance: Communicating time and scheduling boundaries, knowing yourself and strengths, financial literacy

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To be valued: request a feedback system (both positives and opportunity areas) to be set up from the beginning of a role.

To be comfortable: ensuring there are resources (training, mentorship, connections) to speed up comfort in a role

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To be liked: If you need to be liked about a certain set of people, think about how you can include professional relationships into that inner circle, e.g. clients