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The last time i was taken over by a powerful emotion was when i was at home with my cousins chillin like another normal day

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The last time I was taken over by powerful emotions was about 1 year ago when i lost a friend that i was close with.Whenever he sees me in school he would always say "sis go class" then he would walk me to class to make sure i was going class.One day i woke up for school got in the shower dress up then i went on my phone once i open Instagram all i see was all my friends posting him saying he got shot.I was like this can't be real but it was.That when i started to blurts out tears saying "whyyyyy whyyyy him" tell today it still feel like it was just yesterday.

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The last time i was taken over by a powerful emotion was a week ago.I got into an argument with my mom.We argued because i wasn't doing my school or my chores.After we argued she told me to do whatever with my life.So she went inside in the room and i sat in the living room just thinking about what happened.So the next past week we didnt talk or anything, we just went our own seperate ways.That's when i thought "Wow i really made her that mad".So i got up off my couch with courage and went to talk to her and apologize to her for arguing with her and all things i dont do.I really regreted that day.The next day up got bright and shiny and got on school and did all my chores and my mom woke up never having to worry about anything to clean just sleeping.And my actions just kept going on being a good child and a good person to others.So never take your time with your parents for granted because you will never know when your last time to see them is.

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The Last time I was taken over by a powerful emotion was about a week ago. I got into an argument with my mom that really made me angry. After we talked I went to my bathroom and she went upstairs. I sad down with my back against the wall and I had my fist clenched so hard and I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I remember being so angry I literally could scream and shatter glass. But I know that if I did that it would make things worse  so I covered my mouth and screamed in my head and screamed silently. I could feel myself getting dizzy from being so mad and frustrated that I stoped. When I stoped all I could do was cry and stare at the ceiling. I felt numb and tired of being angry. It all sounds dramatic but it's true I was so so mad. I laid down on the bathroom floor and took deep breaths because I knew that nothing I would do can make it better so I just laid down and closed my eyes and started singing softly to myself. It sounds cheesy but singing has always helped me and is very therapeutic.
To be continued........

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My whole body was kind of just in this state of shock, I couldn’t breathe or move or even think of anything. I wanted to fall onto my knees right then and there but I knew I couldn’t, I thought “don’t be dramatic you’re standing in the middle of the school office” but I couldn’t process the fact that I was losing my best friend. My papa just wanted to have one last talk with me until we eventually meet on the other side. I didn’t want to hang up the phone or tell him goodbye, but I knew he was ready. I wanted to just tell him everything, apologize for everything, but from the few words he could still speak I knew he forgave me for everything. He passed a few minutes after that phone call, the day looked like there was truly something wrong with it. It was gloomy, cold, and wet everywhere, everytime i almost slipped made me more mad at the world. The worst part was that I still had to perform that day. I really just wanted to stay home and cry forever. I miss him. I miss him so much.

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There was a day recently like a week or two or more I don't really remember, where all I felt was sadness and mostly anger. I forgot why I felt all of those but I remember crying and crying while fuming inside and I just Hated myself so much. I always look in the mirror at myself in my room, and at that time it was different from all the others because of the emotions running through me I almost Punched myself in the mirror shattering the glass and I'm lucky I  caught myself in time or I would've done it and get in more trouble. and I'm usually alone so it's been getting hard for me to control myself and I always think at night knowing everything that's been going on with me and I get worried that one day I'll lose it, but right now I'm hoping I don't. I know it's not right to bottle up emotions but it's all I can ever do while I'm sitting in the dark listening to music. That's about it.

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The last time I was taken over by a powerful emotions was about 2 to 3 years go when I lost the most precious, loving, and independent women in my life. I  remember all the memories with grandma I miss coming home to a "how was your day melody?"sitting at the edge of her bed and telling her about my day and talking stories with her and even watching Big Bang with her was the best  all the laughs I had with her was the best I used always tell her about my softball games and practices. when we found out about my grandma having cancer everyone knew except me I was the last  to know because my grandma didn't want me to have that in my way from school and softball during that year it was hard for me as months passed by I was helping taking care of het and one day. I went school feeling like something was wrong and I asked to go home when I came home it was the most heart breaking news I had and I couldn't even believe it at all my heart just broke in so many pieces and I held my grandma with so much tears in my eyes I would never forget that day. I love her so much with all my heart and I do and always do miss her dearly.

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My heart felt like it was shattered, like someone had ripped it out. My world was spinning and I felt drowsy, my eyes were red as a tomato like everything just felt completely numb. I wasn't in the right mind, doing things I shouldn't have, saying things that shouldn't have been said and then in the end having to deal with the consequence. The last time I was taken by a powerful emotion was a few months ago when I had made a lot of dumb naive choices that I later regretted. I've never felt more angry or frustrated with myself than that day, that one day that I chose to be dumb and lie to my father about the choices I made. I was very angry at myself not because I got caught but because I hurt and betrayed the one person that I loved the most, the one person who trusted my word over everyone else's, the one person who was always there for me to pick me back up when I fell, the one person who taught me right from wrong, the one person that I envy the most. I was so angry because I was so blind to see that I wasn't myself, that I didn't even recognize who I was. There were so many thoughts, so many "if, and or buts", so many different emotions just flying past that just thinking made me feel like my brain was gonna explode. Being so angry that I was the only emotion I could show was tears of anger and in that moment, that's when I knew that the anger got to me and only tears were left. That the only thing I could think about was, "I wish I could start over", "I'm so sorry dad, I know I failed you"

To be continued...

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The last time that I was overcome by emotions was not very long ago. Sadly, a couple months ago, my papa was taken by cancer. At the time, I didn't know how to feel, during others it didn't feel like it was real. When I was growing up, he was always there to take care of my mom, my borther,sister, and me. Every day for about a week it didn't feel real, he was healthy only a couple months ago and became sick so very fast. Everyday I would think back to him working in our backyard ( it was his favorite hobby) , I wish I just could have seen him happy and healthy doing what he loved best, one last time. The one thing I regret was not saying goodbye to him, even though my brother told me that I should have, the thought of him no longer being here with us clouded the thought of saying goodbye, the one thing that I regret. At the time when he passed, I was so sad that rivers of unstopable tears formed and I couldn't hold them back. If I was able to see him one last time, I would have told him how much I loved him and thank him for everything he has done for me.

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The last time I was taken over by powerful emotions was during my childhood. I remember every events that had happen during that time, and even where it took place. I wouldn't consider my childhood sad or traumatizing but it sucked, even today those events are still happening currently. There were times throughout my childhood where I would have these negative thoughts like wanting to run away, and wishing those people didn't exist. As a kid I always stay quiet unless spoken to, never made a lot of friends from elementary up to middle school, throughout that time  even now I've suppressed my emotions to a point where I'm unfamiliar with certain emotions, some people call me a robot or soulless.

To Be Continued....

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The last time I was taken over by a powerful emotion was 3 years ago when my bestfriend passed away. My great grandma was not only my bestfriend, but she was my whole heart. I loved sitting on her lap to talk stories, putting on her band-aid whenever she got scratched from the dog, and watching our favorite show, "Hawaii Five-O" together. I'll never forget the laughs and smiles we shared daily. I witnessed her passing right in front of me at Wahiawa General Hospital. I never been so shocked in my life. After hearing the day before that she's getting better and she could come home and then the next day she's just gone. We had very little time to say "goodbye" so I never got to tell her how thankful I am for her and how much I loved her. Her funeral took place months after her passing and her funeral was  extremely hard for me. The day of her funeral was the day I experienced this powerful emotion of sadness. It was basically my final goodbye to my bestfriend. After they closed her casket to travel her to the graveyard, I was very sad that I could not see nor touch her ever again. As they lowered her casket, my tears grew and grew and it never stopped. The moment her casket hit the ground and we had to leave, I never felt something more painful. That was the hardest I ever cried and the saddest I ever been in my life. To this day, I will never forget my great grandma and all our memories. I love her dearly and she'll always be in my heart.
(This doesn't relate, but I wanted to share that I'm getting a tattoo in honor of her. I can't wait!)

to be continued...

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I was already frustrated because i was babysitting and doing school at the same time when my mom called and was upset at me for trying to control my siblings. I tried to explain to her that they were interrupting my test and being to loud  but she refused to listen to me. I was now really furious and my body was heating up because I was getting in trouble for something that's wasn't my fault. After continuously trying to talk to my mom and tell my side she then accused me of giving attitude and so then i couldn't hold my temper i just hung up and offed my phone. When she got home i had already calmed down and was not as upset as i was, my dad talked to me and let me explain what had happened while they were at work. Following that, he talked to my and got her to understand that my siblings were in the wrong and she yelled at me for no reason. She apologized and I went to my room to cry because the whole situation made me feel overwhelmed and anxious. But now I've been having better days and my mom doesn't fight with me as much anymore .

To Be Continued.....

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I had gone to the park with my neighbors that day, knowing that my dog was dying. As I was having fun running around in the green grass while the blue sea slaps up against the reefs, i get a text from my dad...my heart had just dropped, my eyes quickly filled with tears and I felt like falling to the ground to sob. I had my skateboard so I was ready to go but my neighbors insisted in driving me , me being polite I took their offer. We ended up getting there 30 MINUTES after she had passed, I got home and I just dropped everything and looked at the grave that my doggie was buried under. All I can think about was" I never got to say goodbye". I walked into my room and it had felt like my throat had water stuck in it and i couldn't breathe, I was kicked my bed frame and screaming into my pillow," wwwhhhyyyy?", why did she have to leave so soon, I never got to say goodbye!"

To be continued...

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I was already fuming from an argument I had with my mom that morning.  My jaw was clenched and shoulders were tight as I walked into study hall at the end of the day.  I sat down next to the usual group of volleyball girls and got my homework out waiting for my friend to walk down from C Building.  My head was pounding but I didn't think anything of it.  Wehi finally showed up and I felt a little better but was still worried about having to go home to my mom for round 2 of our argument. The more I thought about, the more my stomach began to knot.