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I have met my assistant and I asked for her help to at least paint th 'skin'part of my eyes and she told me that she didn't want to ruin my work so she rather no to. So I'm gonna use her help only in the mounting week to paint the wall and hang my mirror.
To make sure I finish the eyes on time I'm gonna make the final ones and paint later. I'll do the final 30 and then paint and if there's more time I'll do another 10.
Michael originally gave me space next to Gaia's work because he didn't receive my exhibition hang proposal, which is a space were I think my work would get in conflict with hers since it occupied the same wall but after we discussed the situation he decided to give me space in another wall, close to the window where my work would get lots of light and would be able to be seen from the center of the exposition. Also, there is no other work next to mine so that's a plus.
In order to manage my stress levels in the rest of this week I intend to do lot's of yoga in my breaks, take my medication correctly, have my needed smoking breaks when I feel like I have to and feed myself better then how I've been doing.

I have finished to make my eyes and I have started to glue them to the mirror. I found that 48 was enough so you can look at the mirror and still be able to see your image, but I ended up giving one to Yasmin so in total I have 47. When I finished it I hanged in my wall so I could take pictures and it the nail didn't take the weight and the mirror fell on the ground, luckily it didn't brake the mirror but the frame broke in 6 pieces and I had to glue it together with super glue and glue it to the mirror using hot glue, which is the material originally used to glue it together. I am able to see the crack but Yasmin told me that if I didn't tell no one would notice cause the eyes call all the attention to them. I am satisfied with my work but I think that some eyes don't look a good as others and for that reason I put those in the ground corners so they wouldn't be noticed as much . I also had my eyes looking at different directions so I displayed they in a manner that most them look at the center of the mirror. In the hanging I'm gonna paint the wall black so it highlights the mirror and gives a nice contrast to it since it is golden. It will also make the room more balanced since the middle of the class will also be painted black and there will be something black in the other side in the same direction as my wall. In intend to paint at least two times but I'm not sure what kind of nail I need to use so it doesn't fall from the wall again since the one I had in my house was fully into the wall and it didn't work out. I'm gonna ask at the slippers store and also to the specialist who were hired to help my friends with their projects. If I were to change something about my final outcome it would be the size of the mirror. I think that a mirror the size of a person filled with eyes would cause much more impact considered the number of eyes there would have to be and it would also communicate my idea better since the situation is connected to body image not only how you see yourself.

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Went to a few stores to look for my mirror but the modern furniture stores only seemed to have round shaped mirrors, so I went to an spwecific street in Vila Madalena were there is only antique shops. Found several mirrors but most of them were too big or too expensive. Then I found two mirrors that ingerested me, one round shaped, with a wood golden frame, the other had an organic shape, with a more organic shape painted with a tone of metalic that ooked older. I went for the second option because the mirror was bigger and the color and shape seemed more modern to match with the eyes.
Have been making biscuit eyes. I tried to make them out of but the materials were not soft enough in my opinion and molding it was harder. I've been making two at a time so they come in pairs, even though I don't think I will glue them in pairs in the mirror; but it has been hard to make they look like the fotograph and specially to make both sides look the same. Another problem for me has been making the back part look well finished since I have to cut one the part of the biscuit that is left off. Monique also told me to make flatter surfaces in the eyes since they are gonna need to be glued to a flat mirror. I tested super bonder in a piece of glass to see if it worked on non porous surface and it did.
Have been making the eyes and I found out a way to make it look more realistic. I have changed the way I do the pupils and it worked out pretty well, also I'm no longer making shines using white paint, instead I decided to pass something that would make the entire eyeball shine. I was considering to use but  last time I used it, it started to turn blue so I had the idea to use nail polish extra shine. And it works just fine.
I have also stopped to make the flat surface behind the eye when I finish it cause it always looks bad and I can't make it look smooth, instead I started to do it one layer before so when I put the final layer of biscuit it gets flat but well finished.
I have put the 20 eyes I have on the top of the mirror and it covered the bottom half of it which is about half the size of the other half so I calculated that I should do more or less 40 more. But I had a talk with Michael about it and he said that 50 should do instead of 60; so I'm gonna make 50 and if I think I need more I'll do it.

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Have been doing my exhibition proposal and had to think how I want to portrait my work. I made a collage on photoshop with Eugenio’s help. I had never tried to do this before. I used the photo of the first eye I did to see how many eyes would there have to be to make the final exhibition on a manqquin and it so happens that I wouldn't be able to make it on time. I have ditched Monique's idea to put them in chothes since I don't think it fits my idea competely, but I thought about putting all my eyes in a mirror. When you have an eating disorder your relation to mirrors is always extreme. weather you look at it all the time or you don't look at it at all. The mirror tells a different story then whats is real and it seems that all your judment thowards yourself and all the judment from others fit prefectly inside these frames. Also, everyone that would look at my exhibition would have theuir own portrait. The main idea is to raise awarness on the subject and maybe by looking at a mirror that would look back at you dozens of times would pass that feeling of disconfort somehow.
Either way I have decided to stop to use the eyes of the girls to make the sculptures sice there wouldn't be enough photographs, so I'm going to use the one's I have but then I'm going to make random eyes to represent the girls. The bad thing about finding the subject of my study on instagram is  that the age range doesn't vary much. I have girls from 16 to 30's but not more then that. I'm sure eating disorders affect woman from all age range. If not always from bulimia and anorexia maybe from binge eating which also dialogues with this issues.
Regarding the mirror I have decided to go for it and for that I think a barroque mirror with a nice frame would do just the job. So, I have made another collage in photoshop this time using a mirror I found on google and I think it looks just fine. The mirror should have less than 1 meter so I can finish on time. I have made one version with a space in the middle without eyes so the person can see themselfs also, and another version with eyes covering all the surface of the mirror but maybe I will leave space in between the eyes for the reflection. I liked the result and also this time I was able to meet the deadline correctly, even with the collages that took me too much time and the fact that Michael gave the mold to us in the same day we should deliver it.

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Wasn’t able to work on my project because of my emotional state.

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Have been sending messages to the several girls on Instagram asking them for photographs with information about their age, country, occupation and how long they been struggling with a eating disorder. Most of them don’t answer me and most of the ones who do, usually end up never sending the pictures. I have already thought that girls with eating disorders wouldn’t want to send pictures of their faces since they have a problem with self images ( that’s one of the many reasons I chose to work with eyes) but I thought it wouldn’t be a problem for them to send pictures of their eyes. Maybe they end up not caring about the project. According to my this week I should be visiting the institution or places I chose and taking different photographs of the people chosen to portrait and interviewing them for my project. So  I can say I’m up to date with the project in general.

Had my progress tutorial with Monique and we discussed how I want to present my eyes. I told her that since I went to bienal de arte in sp and saw the piece “mannequin death”, which is a piece that criticizes the patterns of beauty imposed by society I thought about putting them in a mannequin. Only problem is that I’m not sure if it is realistic enough since I would have to make hundreds of eyes and it already takes me too much time to make only one. She told me that since I want to portrait the body I can use clothes to represent it and put eyes in them. Maybe I can make the eyes using also the fabric of the outfits. Another option is to make a pannel of metal to put the eyes. Ventosas would be a good option to stick them to it or anything else since I can remove and put it back to another desired place.
Monique gave me pass in all the subject areas of our assessment. I agree with the part where we talk about reflection and research but not where we talk about project proposal.

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Have been thinking about my project and I have decided that I want to work tmwith the theme of woman with eating disorders, since working with something personal will make me connect deeper with the project and also, understanding what I’m talking about will allow me to develop the right characteristics to what I intend to do. I also have chosen to work with fine art instead of illustration, so I’m not sure anymore if I will develop a series of portraits for the part 3. Instead, I thought about representing the woman of my studies through the eyes, which for me are the most important part of any portrait. I also made this decision based on the paintings and drawings I did and for me, didn’t work out so well. I don’t think I have the skills to portrait them and be satisfied with my job.
Have been thinking about working with sculpting. Making eyes like my first try with sculpture which I think worked out pretty well. My plan is to find and talk to those woman and ask for photos of their eyes so I can sculpt them to later maybe put it in a mannequin.

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Did a drawing today based on a photgraph from tumblr of a girl holding a banana like a telephone. It was done based on a drawing I did of my brother a couple of years ago where the colors were color blocked and sharp. Decided to paint it like my previous drawings using sharpie to colour and nankin to contour. I think it was a really sucssesful drawing since it looks like the original photo and it resembles pop art.

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Finished the red head girl painting. I'm satisfied with one more than the first one since it follows an specific style instea of trying to unsucsessfully trying to follow a more realistic style without the specific skills. The good part is that you can unatatch yourself from specific expetations thowards the painting. I ditched the spatula in some parts of the painting since I wouldn't be able to make it from the size of the details, for those I also preferred to use watercolor such as in the eyes and mouth, to give it a more realistic aspect. I painted the background using blue and green but I didin't like this color composition. I would rather paint it with pastel colors shuch as pink and violet.

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Started a new painting in acrylics, only this time using a spatula. I got inspired by a video I've seen of Takashi on instagram where he paints objects on small canvas using only his spatula. I looked on instagram for a girl I could easely representate with drawings. With cartoonish characteristics. This one had red hair, big blue eyes, thick eyebrows, full lips, nice lightning and an eyeliner that gave her eyes a nice long format. I started to make the base of the drawing but mine doesn;t look like Takashi's since his paintings don't have all the texture that I gave to mine by putting many layers f paint; They follow a simple, one layered texture. It has been hard to make precise lines since you have to use a lot of paint to do so and the point of the spatula is bigger than what I should have used.

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Did a few drawings based on my favorite portraits from the book " 50 Portraits You Should Know" which is in my bibliography. The artists were Matisse, piero Delia Francesca, Lucian Freud and Andy Warhol. The most successful one was Freud’s since the others don’t look like the original, and Freud’s is more stylized. I did it using watercolor. What I like most from this portrait are all the nuences of different colors used to portrait the skin tone lights and shadows.

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Did two drawings. One is a compilation of woman from famous paintings made with nankin  pen 0.05 and the other is a portrait of an old men from the tube made with pencil. I think both of them were  successful, both look like the “object” portrayed and follow different styles. The first one is more fluid and graphic while the second is basic and more cartoonish.

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Started to use watercolor as well because of the difficulty I found in blending the acrylics. It also have been really hard to match the colors to her real skin tone, which is darker. I should have put the redish/orange, lighting that covers the entire painting and I didn't consider at first. The light that contours her mouth is too light and the original is mostly on the top part instead of around the entire mouth. The original nose is larger and there is a shadow that comes on the top of the the nose which in the painting is light. Her eyes were done with watercolor and are wider than normal, the right eye covered part of the space that should be the eyebrow, so her eyebrow is thinner than the original, at the same time that the other is thicker than the original. I didn’t have a small brush so her eyelashes got too thick and covered the part of her eyes were you should be able to see a eyeshadow that’s the same color of her t-shirt and the flowers, that I didn’t do because the painting was taking me too much time. I also didn’t finish to paint her hair.  Her chicks are also fuller in the original photography than in my painting.
In general for me this is a very unsuccessful painting since all those details don’t match the original. Maybe I should do a more styled painting instead.

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Started to paint the canvas. I first gave to all shapes a base color, then started to add little aspects of shading to the skin. It has been really difficult the blend the colors since I’m using acrylic paint and it dries really fast, I thought about using oil, which is my common go-to paint but it would take too long to dry out.

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According to my action plan, last week was supposed to be a week dedicated to experimenting with different painting techniques, with different materials, such as acrylic, watercolour, oil etc. Since I did something else, this week, which is supposed to be about experimenting with photography is going to be  about painting instead. So I dedicated the day to dawing this photgraphic portrait I found on tumblr. It is going to be painted using acrylics. I´ve already done a few portraits in my life but never painted, only drawing, hope it turns out ok.

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Talked to Ana and she also told me to develop this project with a subject that would be personal to me. She told me that the project can go thrupgh a different path, something more intrinsic, relating to fine arts, more than illustration. I like this idea since I was always more interested in fine arts than illustrative works,and it still fits in my brief. I think the generally fine arts pices usually lieves more space to different concusions and ideas twoards one´s piece than illustrations. Another idea of her´s was to rely on audios, of woman desbribing themselfs, or maybe do multiple versions of the same person, like Tarsila do Amaral collections of self portraits. Ana showed me the work of Boltanski with portraits of the eyes of different people. The way it is displayed also gave us the idea to show everything later on pieces of clot, maybe using layers.

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I´m trying to chose the subject of my portraits. Had a talk with Monique and and she helped me with some ideas. I know I want to work with woman but have yet to decide what kind of woman. My first idea was to make portraits of those who are on the sreets but my tutor said they could be hard to approach, instead I could develop my project with woman who are already on shelters. Some of the ideas Monique gave me were: woman from AA, elderly, woman with no family woman from institutions, single moms, religious woman, nuns. My choice so far is for those in institutions but she also told me to choose something that was personal to me so I´m still deciding.

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Helped Yasmin with her project by serving as a model for one of her face molds. We made a mask using and I think this is a really viable technique if I decide to work with masks as an outcome. I bought a mask recently to make some tests on, but taking the mold from a person makes it much more realist, it's cheaper and it fits the person perfeclty if they want to use it later; pre- made maks don't fit everyone and I could see that by checking all the differences between the mask she made using my face and the one she made using someone elses. Mine would never fit into her and vice-versa. One is longer and leaner and the other is wider and shorter.
First, she passed vaseline into my eyebrows, eyelashes and the little hair that surrounds the face so it wouldn't come out with the mold, then, she wrapped my hair using plastic film, so my hair wouldn't get dirty with plaster. This plaster was different from the ones I already knew. It comes in as a roll whrapped in a tube and you unroll it, cut it and sticks to the face. But it only works when you water it. It then glues with the others and gets really hot before grying out. It only took us one hour to do it, which makes it even more viable.

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Finished and delivered my brief today. Was happy with the result of the project concept and review but the references, which I left for the last and shouldn't were awful. My first reference I like very much which is a portrait from xevi sola, one of my favorite contemporary artists.the second reference was a mistake since it is a sculpture I really enjoyed, yet , doesn't have a background or a known artist. I should have put one of the sculptures from Anders Krisar, who is already a reference on my brief and relies in a concept. The third reference was also a mistake since I had already put an oil painting. I should have gone for something different like a mask or a reference from fine art, a video, anything which hasn't been represented yet. the fouth is a picture, which is ok, but i'd reather choose a different one.

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worked on brief

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worked on the brief

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went to IMS

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Went to the bienal de arte SP with my tutor and the class.
Went to museu afro

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Went to pinacoteca and it was closed.

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Started to work on my brief by the bibliography, since I have already chosen all the books I want to work with. For the movies, I chose Frida and Renoir, the first one portraits the life of the most famous woman artist, which worked woth paintings and mostly self-portraits; the second one tells the story of how the object of the painting is important for the art of Renoir, showing his relationship with one of his muses, Catherine Hessling or in the movie, Andrée Heuschling. The artists and designers were mostly chosen based on the book Illustration, Now! Portraits, that show portraits illustrated by artists from all around the world, including my teacher, Daniel Bueno.
For the online part , I put some museums and some artists I have known for instagram, mostly. One of my favorites is Jessica Harisson, with the series "Flesh", which portarits human figures, disfigured with sculptures, I'm not sure the material. But It's problably a soft one, since it looks she made the desired effect by pinching the mold. The effect is really nice, the work is also well painted so that gives a more realistic touch in contrasyt to the format of the faces.

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Decided to try again with Sculpture and this time it worked better. Instead of trying to make a hole head carving, I tryed to make only one atribute at a time using layers. it so happens, that it took me the hole day to make an eye, so I don't think it would be viable for me to make this project with sculpting. It would take me more ability and I'm not fast enough. I chose the eye cause for me it's the most important feature to a portrait, you can tell a lot of a person's feelings by looking at it.
I also this time used apropriate tools that made it so much easuer to work with details and I didn't know but biscuit is made to be modeled with water which also made a huge difference on th making. I stuck it to a key so I could hold it without needing to touch it and painted it using watercolor, with lots of layers of paint to give it a better effect. Had the need to stop painting a few times to fix some attributes, but it didn't interfeer much with the painting. When finished I put some foam glue to make the eyes glow more realisticly. I enjoyed the final result, the eye doesn't look as realistic as I hoped but it looks creepy which in think is a good adjective.
After that, I tried to make a gead to put the eye but I hated the result, I wasn't able to make the right format, maybe next time I'll work with layers again and make a skull before adding the sking od the head on top of it. I  ended up glueing my eye to my articulated figure. It's impressive how it gave life to the object by adding only one feature.

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Bought some biscuit to try and experiment with sculpting. I wanted to see if it was a viable for my project to use this method since the only time I made a sculpture was in the typography project, using hot glue gun. I tryed to sculpt a face using an ancient greek bust as a reference but it didn't work out. The biscuit was too hard to model and I think the cold weather influenced that. Also the amount of mass that I used was too much to mold all at the same time. Perhaps would be easier to work with layers and separated parts of the human face rather than a block for all, which must work best when working with metal, wood and other hard surfaces that you have to carve.

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Searched for more books as I was trying to complete this task for my brief. Went to Saraiva and Cultura Library. Found some relevant content for my brief and also bought a few books for myself to help me with the project: Schiele, Greek Art, White Sculptures, 50 portraits you should know. My personal favorite is White Sculptures cause it mixes the classical with the modern. It is a book of modern sculptures that portrait mostly the human body in a really modern way and sometime surrealisticly. Schiele is also a good book to sudy portraits which characteristics don't follow the reality to the letter. There are beautiful distortions and usually the models are really skinny, with the bone structure showing; he also stretches the bodies and fingers, giving proportions that are not realistic. This is my favorite artist so far.

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Spent the day looking for books that would help me to develop my research. Found lot's of books on libraries websites but hasn't yet finished my search since I intend to look for the actual phisical ones, so I know the content is revelant for my work before writting it on the brief. One of the books I found is called "Representations Of The Black in Brazilian Modernism, Visual Arts And Music". So far, I had only thought of portraits regarding photography, illustration and sculpture, but this title made me think that music can also be a sonorous portrait, a representation of a person's wishes, culture, thoughts, etc. Don't know yet if I want to add this kind of portrayal in my work, since I am not a composer, but with help it could be done, just not sure how.
It was really easy for me to find books on photographic portraits, not so easy with paintings and illustrations, but I haven't yet found a single book on Sculptures, so I'm not sure how to learn more about it without the need to take actual lectures on the subject, but I want to go to specific arts libraries to see if I can find any.

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Wasn't able to work on my project.

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Considering I originally wanted to make this project based on body movement, I started considering to work with other themes. One subject that interests me a lot and I ended up putting it as a considered part of my artistic personality on the personal statement is to make portraits, for I believe they are a pure pathway for understanding a person’s deepness. Artists such as Xevi Sola, Elena Gual and Harmonia Rosales are able to capture theyre object of study using unique techniques, telling people’s stories through portraits without the need to write a single word; this is one of the abilities I have the purpose to acquire if I decide to makes this the subject of my final project.
On our first day, Michael introduced us to the project and how to conduct the brief we have to make. He also presented us to a template to help with research, idea generation and to find out our desired project theme and  project title. It worked for me regarding the portraits project but not with rythmic body movement, where I could only come up with questions I would like to answer.
I ended up choosing to work with portraits since it is a theme I already have some experience with comparing to body movement, where I would probrably have to work with medias I don't yet undestand much such as video and/or instalation. I also had a fixed idea of what I wanted the final outcome for the "movement" to be, and michael said during his lecture that we aren't supposed to have an outcome in mind for the project and instead, work with questions we would like to answer and experiments so we don't actually straighten our options, and are able to experiment as much as we want to achieve something even greater then waht we can think of even before the project starts. That was important for me to make my final decision to work with something I haven't already set up my mind for.