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I Have a Serious crush on my teacher- ShouldI tell her?

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I Have a Serious crush on my teacher- ShouldI tell her?

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1. I have a serious crush on my teacher – should I tell her?

Q: I’m a 16-year-old student harboring ardent feelings for a

teacher. She’s an absolutely wonderful (in my view, angelic)

human being, who seems utterly devoted to what she does and

is terribly cordial to us students. It is out of awe for her

personality, and gratitude for how she’s made a mark in my life,

that I feel so attached to her. She’s in her late 20s, I suppose,

but I feel she could be 18. My feelings are not sexual, but my

social circles make barely any room for this possibility. I can

find little solace in my friends for fear that they’d mock me

because she’s not considered a looker. I feel an urge to tell her

how amazing and adored she is, but fear she’ll be threatened or

affronted, or that she’ll feel pained for me and not know how to

respond.

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My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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My daughter is dating a man more than twice her age.

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Q: I have a 23-year-old daughter. Her mother and I split up when she was seven due to her mother’s infidelity. I still see my daughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two other children we have. My daughter didn’t have a “proper” boyfriend until she was in her late teens. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. It transpires he’s 48! He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am 55. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this? I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it.

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(By Fermín Buitrago Romero)

First of all, I need to tell you that I really understand your preoccupation. So, might I suggest an idea? You must reinforce – if you have it – or construct – if you don’t - a strong relationship – full of confidence - with your daughter.

If you are very worried about it, you have to stop and think twice. Don't dare to say it is her fault with angry or bitterness. You need not judge her or threaten her, because it can be the worst way to face this situation.

It will be better to be in her shoes and to let her tell you about it. Forbidding her to see him could be the beginning of the end of your relationship, so you ought to check the different options you have to face this dilemma. You may think you can rule, but you would better go on and talk to her without prejudice, as much as you can.

You should follow some steps, if you consider it a good strategy. Invite her and tell her: “You can take him home, you could take your time and recognize him in a better way, you should keep on living your life and fighting for your goals and then you ought to make your best decision.

Try to analyze better this experience and then you will not regret saying: it must have been different, I would have heard some other people’s opinions and advices, and I should not have done it.

So, if you really think it over, you will be allowed to get through this, you will not be forced to leave your dreams behind you, you will be able to face life with a bigger sense of pride and self-confidence, you will have to compare and contrast different options and then you will decide what to do.”

It is better to take it easy than to lead your relationship into a bigger crisis.

I hope I shall help you. Sincerely,

Agony Uncle.

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My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one, too.

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My father is a womanizer. I’m terrified I’ll become one, too.

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2.	Q: I’m 22, single and very romantic, yet I can’t relate to women. I grew up with a womanizing father and ever since I can remember he has made comments about women and sex. No man in my family has ever achieved true love and they have all had multiple sex partners and lovers, betraying the confidence of wives and long-term girlfriends. My great grandfather, my grandfather, my uncle and my father share this and some of me thinks that I can’t fight it, that I will become the same. But I struggle. I just can’t talk to women; I can’t play charming around them even when I have a good relationship with them in spaces such as work or college. I have “female friends”, but I can’t break the confidence they have in me by playing the love card. So I’m often the friend of the women I like. My entire romantic concept has been built by culture, by movies like Gone with the Wind or Doctor Zhivago, books like A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bells Tolls and long sessions of the Smiths or the Cure.

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2.	Q: I’m 22, single and very romantic, yet I can’t relate to women. I grew up with a womanizing father and ever since I can remember he has made comments about women and sex. No man in my family has ever achieved true love and they have all had multiple sex partners and lovers, betraying the confidence of wives and long-term girlfriends. My great grandfather, my grandfather, my uncle and my father share this and some of me thinks that I can’t fight it, that I will become the same. But I struggle. I just can’t talk to women; I can’t play charming around them even when I have a good relationship with them in spaces such as work or college. I have “female friends”, but I can’t break the confidence they have in me by playing the love card. So I’m often the friend of the women I like. My entire romantic concept has been built by culture, by movies like Gone with the Wind or Doctor Zhivago, books like A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bells Tolls and long sessions of the Smiths or the Cure.

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YOU ARE NOT A WOMANIZER

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Dear reader, In your words, I can read that you are worried about your future, your behavior with the opposite sex. About that, I can tell you have half of your problem solved. There are many things that we inherit from our parents, most of these come naturally or unconscious, such as physical aspects and behaviors, but you are aware that you would rather not to be like your father, your grandfather, or your uncle, and therefore you already know the consequences of being a womanizer. First of all, you must think you are already putting into practice your free will respecting women, which generates few options in you to become a womanizer, but this situation is causing conflict in a possible relationship with a girl, for this reason I think you should talk to that girl you like, let her know how good you are, you need to show her you feelings. Doing this I am sure you will have a beautiful relationship.I need to tell you that when you get a girlfriend it is possible that your father or any other men in your family tell you something about your girl, as you could have other girls, and I know you will be able to answer them you don´t need other girls, that you deserve respect, you love her, in such a way that they can know your will, and may they stop to make you feel uncomfortable.In short I say, you ought to follow the desires of your heart, and not the desires of others.Kindest regards, your agony uncle

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Dear reader, In your words, I can read that you are worried about your future, your behavior with the opposite sex. About that, I can tell you have half of your problem solved. There are many things that we inherit from our parents, most of these come naturally or unconscious, such as physical aspects and behaviors, but you are aware that you would rather not to be like your father, your grandfather, or your uncle, and therefore you already know the consequences of being a womanizer. First of all, you must think you are already putting into practice your free will respecting women, which generates few options in you to become a womanizer, but this situation is causing conflict in a possible relationship with a girl, for this reason I think you should talk to that girl you like, let her know how good you are, you need to show her you feelings. Doing this I am sure you will have a beautiful relationship.I need to tell you that when you get a girlfriend it is possible that your father or any other men in your family tell you something about your girl, as you could have other girls, and I know you will be able to answer them you don´t need other girls, that you deserve respect, you love her, in such a way that they can know your will, and may they stop to make you feel uncomfortable.In short I say, you ought to follow the desires of your heart, and not the desires of others.Kindest regards, your agony uncle

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Dear friend,

At first, thank you so much for the confidence you’ve deposited on me writing this letter.

Well, let me tell you that you shouldn’t get worried about feeling lonely, remember that’s the life law “times are changing and inevitably, people surely do”, you mustn’t dwell on the past.

Unfortunately, every one of us change as we’re getting older, so, may I give you my point of view?

If I were you, I would spend more time with my family, friends can come and go, but the family is the only thing worth to live for.

On the other hand, you must not to blame the fact you're not included in an event arranged, you need to know that there are other affairs you might concern; you’re still a young man, you can visit a lot of places, even you could practice sports and be part of a team, so, in this way you may have other new friends, in addition, you’d better not feel alone or probably you won't be able to meet some interesting people.

You should give time to time, you’ll see that time heals all wounds, you’ll have time enough to spend with your kids and all of this you’re experiencing now, will be past sooner or later

Wishing you the best,

Kindly regards.

Agony uncle

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Dear Iranian friend.

Reading your letter leaves me very worried that you're thinking about ending your life, I'm sure you have more values than any guy could have, now think, your family is very important, and I'm sure they love you and are worried about your citation.  I understand that Europe is a very hard continent to make friends or make new friendships with new people, but the most important thing is not to isolate yourself from society. Just think you have a master's degree in English language studies, that a great point and quality in your favor, since, here in Colombia you need teachers who can help in high schools or universities in the country, I understand your concern to return to your country Natal, but in Colombia there is no identity of religion, it is a free country and respect all I believe and religion, Colombia is considered a secular country, now, at this time I am only living with my beautiful family, what I try to say is that you can travel to this country and  Starting a new life, my family and I, we open the doors of my home and my heart, you can count on a new friend, so in the future, you can bring your family from Iran to live with you. Remember everything has a solution, to finish, remember this phrase "abandoning pain without resisting, committing suicide to get away from it, is to leave the battlefield without having fought. -Ramón Gómez de la Serna "I hope to hear from you soon.
Who esteems you and reminds you, your friend Juan Carlos Espinosa.

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Dear Friend

We should know that all time meet different people and we can fall in love, however in some cases are people must not to fall in love or socially it is not right for different aspects that kinship, impositions, strata, age differences, cultural, racial and religious barriers in this case this love might arise in any moment.

It is clear that you wouldn’t a relationship with your teacher by a sexual felling way, because you have to different feelings for her, additional their ages can be able to compatible for build a relationship however the inconvenience is your teacher and she doesn’t kwon about your feelings.

You might talk with her in a specific time for explain the feelings and you leave the fears or you can write a letter with the same information if you have more comfortable with this way, you must evaluate the weakness and benefits that relation can have, because you need to identify this feelings was couldbe manifested trough aspects like admiration, her terribly cordial to their students or simply gratitude that you can confuse with the love.

On the other hand, do should you being with the teacher? but is possible is not something that fills you or that you do it because you are really fall in love, however your challenge will be to focus on your true feelings and if it is necessary to test your fears and a face your reality allow the love fill their lives.

I hope I could help you.

Regards, your Agony Aunt, see you soon

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Hello dear mate Juan Carlos,Your answer to the letter has a plenty of humanity and wanting to help that unfortunate person.I've just read it and I suggested the following remarks (they are in blue)"Reading your letter leaves me very worried that you're thinking about ending your life, I'm sure you have more values than any guy could have, now think, your family is very important, and I'm sure they love you and are worried about your citation. I understand that Europe is a very hard continent to make friends or make new friendships with new people, so, you  shouldn’t isolate yourself from society. You just need to think you have a master's degree in English language studies, that a great point and quality in your favor, since, here in Colombia you need teachers who can help in high schools or universities in the country, I understand your concern to return to your country Natal, but in Colombia there is not identity of religion, it is a free country and respect all I believe and religion, Colombia is considered a secular country, now, at this time I am only living with my beautiful family, what I try to say is that you'd better travel to this country and Starting a new life, my family and I, we open the doors of my home and my heart, you can count on a new friend, so in the future, you’ll be able to bring your family from Iran to live with you. You have to remember that everything has a solution, to finish, you  must to remember this phrase "abandoning pain without resisting, committing suicide to get away from it, is to leave the battlefield without having fought. -Ramón Gómez de la Serna "I hope to hear from you soon"I hope this remarks become helpful for your contribution.Regards

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Hello dear mate Juan Carlos,Your answer to the letter has a plenty of humanity and wanting to help that unfortunate person.I've just read it and I suggested the following remarks (they are in blue)"Reading your letter leaves me very worried that you're thinking about ending your life, I'm sure you have more values than any guy could have, now think, your family is very important, and I'm sure they love you and are worried about your citation. I understand that Europe is a very hard continent to make friends or make new friendships with new people, so, you  shouldn’t isolate yourself from society. You just need to think you have a master's degree in English language studies, that a great point and quality in your favor, since, here in Colombia you need teachers who can help in high schools or universities in the country, I understand your concern to return to your country Natal, but in Colombia there is not identity of religion, it is a free country and respect all I believe and religion, Colombia is considered a secular country, now, at this time I am only living with my beautiful family, what I try to say is that you'd better travel to this country and Starting a new life, my family and I, we open the doors of my home and my heart, you can count on a new friend, so in the future, you’ll be able to bring your family from Iran to live with you. You have to remember that everything has a solution, to finish, you  must to remember this phrase "abandoning pain without resisting, committing suicide to get away from it, is to leave the battlefield without having fought. -Ramón Gómez de la Serna "I hope to hear from you soon"I hope this remarks become helpful for your contribution.Regards