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1 The applicant depict a small scene which is attractive at first to start the topic. Then, she told the process she experienced in growth and her changes in mind. Last, she pointed out her dream and her understandings toward disease and life.
2 At first, he "opened" his notebook, thus we enter his world unconsciously. The applicant used a sentence in Genesis as the beginning to conclude his feeling. Most of the paragraph were used to tell a main story. In the end, he told us his relationship with his brother now through another small story.

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1 The tone is serious. Kind of heavy at first, but encouraging in the last.
2 the words are fascinating. I could see the picture of the story when I read.
Both are moving and thought provoking.

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1 told a process that took years-long time.

2 is mostly a single story with a bunch of details. The words are vivid.

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They both tell personal stories that made them grown. Their titles are attractive. Interestingly, they both mentioned “mahogany” at the beginning of their essays.

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1 The writer’s grandma’s illness and death made her feel guilty. Then, she started to study and explore cancer, and gradually found her life goal—be a oncologist in that process.

2 A story between the writer and his brother. The applicant was jealous about his brother and consider him as an enemy until he used a BB gun to shot his brother. Guilty replaced jealous, since then, their relationship became better and better.

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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the first sounds a little like he is bragging about what he has done, but I guess the essay is supposed to show who you are. they also sound very smart
Second sounds a lot more like we are in the mind of the applicant. The tone is very light and it is very creative

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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The second essay feels a lot more like a story than the first. The second does a lot more of exploring their creativity and imagination and only reflects for a shorter period

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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Both of the essays reflect on the applicant's personal qualities. They relate a personal experience to their own character

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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1. A study of Ambidexterity.      2. The Blue Armchair

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The first essay was about how this kids ambidexterity related a lot to his identity. He demonstrated that his ambidexterity was a hidden identifier like him being the valedictorian

In this essay the applicant writes about his experience every Saturday going to a cafe and exploring his imagination. They then reflect their imagination on their constantly changing personality and characteristics.

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they both captured the interests of the two students who were writing them. They incorporated examples of their work ethic as well as their passions.

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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These two essays have very different structure. I shot my brother being a actual short story with dialogue. My happiness spreadsheet structured as a simple personal essay

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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In both of these essays were very narrator toned, but still very honest.

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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The style of story telling was different in each essay. I shot my brother being more of a long detailed story with a lesson. Happiness spreadsheet consisted of vignettes. Short glimps into her life.

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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Both of these essay are telling stories. Their telling different kinds of stories but they are stories that both relate to them.

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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1. I shot my Brother                       2. Happiness Spreadsheet

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the story of "I shot my brother" was an actual stort of a boy who shot his brother with a BB gun. He explained their relationship and how he alway felt jealous and inferior to him. Once he shot him, by accident, all of those hateful thoughts and emotions turned into gulit. He really started bonding with his brother.

The Happiness Spreadsheet was a collection of her favorite stories that she kept on her happiness spreadsheet. A spreadsheet of amount of happiness she felt each day, from a scale of 1-20. She told her favorite stories and then finally explained my making this spreadsheet was important to who she was as a person.

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1. 20Q This essay brought up how this game followed him through out his years, and his exploration of the game was mirrored in his real life. It talked about his struggles,perseverance, motivations, insights, and much more. 2. Swastika That wasn't the title of the essay, but the meaning of the symbol was used as a means of here opening her mind. It was interesting, because her living in the Indian culture gave her the ability to view the world in a new perceptive, the symbol, but also herself and her right

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1. Moments where time stands still 2. threatened by ISIS  

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1. Moments where time stands still 2. threatened by ISIS  

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They both have this very unsettling vibe.

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2. music movement

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1) The "Figuring Out What Really Mattered Challenge" College Essay Example.             2) A Study in Ambidexterity

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1) The "Figuring Out What Really Mattered Challenge" College Essay Example.             2) A Study in Ambidexterity

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Both of the "statements" begin with an intriguing hook for the first sentence.

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1) The "Burying Grandma" Example College Essay             2) The "Moments Where the Second Stand Still" College Essay Example

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1) The "Burying Grandma" Example College Essay             2) The "Moments Where the Second Stand Still" College Essay Example

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1. The tone of this essay is very personal and honest. The ability for the writer to really lean into discomfort allows the reader to see deeper into the applicant.
2. The tone of this essay stems from humility and relatability.

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2. Musical Movement
1 was set up like a 20 questions game which was a beautiful mix that kept them on topic and created the perfect circular start and end of the essay. 2 started with a big idea and the middle was their general wonderings and the end was them imagining their project and where it could lead them in the future.

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2. Musical Movement
1 was very genuine and honest and they seemed to really care about learning and the application of knowledge. 2 was more stream-of-conciousness-y when it came to them describing their thought process that led them to this project idea.

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2. Musical Movement
1 was more focused on the general person while 2 was focused on the project.

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2. Musical Movement
Both stories started with general wonderings about a casual everyday thing (20Q and the relationship between movement and music).

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2. Musical Movement
1. About how they used their study of 20 questions as a lesson for life.
2. About how his study in the correlation between music and movement started a project combining the two using computer science.

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) This one had a great setup: hook - introduction of topic - comparing this physical topic to his emotional personality - ties back to topic
2) This one was also good; started broad, got specific: humans connection with music - his connection with music - his computer science + music project

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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#2's tone was one of fascination and excitement with his project
#1 He sounded intelligent without having to use flashy vocabulary. He somehow managed to brag about being good at being good at everything without sounding obnoxious

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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#2 was more focused on one idea, #1 connected one theme to a bunch of different activities

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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They both talked about the things they loved doing.

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) A Study in Ambidexterity 2) Musical Movement

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1) About being ambidextrous/connecting that with his versatile personality
2) About his passion project of computer science + music