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Trust vs. mistrust highlights the importance of attachment. The key considerations in this stage refer to whether an infant is properly nurtured by caregivers. Infants are dependent and rely on others for comfort and stimulation. If their needs are met, they will develop a sense of trust. The textbook states, "The trusting infant expects the world to be good and gratifying, so he feels confident about venturing out to explore it." My mother, for example, was born to a single mom that was struggling with a drug addiction in D.C in the late 70s, and she had an older and younger brother. One may think that an infant would view their environment as an unsafe place, but my moms older brother vividly remembers how my grandmother would soothe and comfort her despite battling her own issues. This made her instill a level of trust in my grandmother.

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Between around 18 months to 2 years of age, babies become toddlers. At this time they begin learning how to communicate their needs in different ways, crawl, walk, and eat on their own. They start to understand that they have choices. When toddlers are encouraged to make decisions, they gain autonomy which is a form of self-governance. For example, towards the end of this stage most children begin trying to communicate that they have to use the bathroom versus waiting to be changed like they did as newborns and babies. They know that sitting in a soiled diaper or underwear is uncomfortable so they make the decision or at least the effort to communicate their needs. My mom does not have many vivid memories of this time but she has told me that when I was this age and some years following, she would do the "pick one" technique. When it came to my shoes or my clothes she would give me 2 different options and I would choose which one I liked. Even if I did not fully understand what I was choosing at this age, those basic decisions subconsciously gave me a sense of independence. The text stated, "The conflict of autonomy versus shame and doubt is resolved favorably when parents provide young children with suit-able guidance and reasonable choices." This is exactly what my mom did with me. On the contrary, when a parent is more controlling, their child will feel forced and doubt they own ability to make decisions.

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During this stage, around the preschool age, children begin learning to play with others. Once they get the sense that everyone has a role, some start to take charge. This is the first time in life that children may learn what being a leader looks like. Like mistrust, guilt can have lasting consequences. If a child takes initiative and is made to feel guilty about it, they may be discouraged from taking leadership roles. If their questions are dismissed, they will feel ashamed that they asked in the first place. They may grow up not speaking their mind or standing up for what they want/ believe in. As my grandmother worked a lot and struggled through her addiction my mom and uncles spent time at their grandmothers house. My mom says that her grandmother was all about trivia and cooking. She would give my mom and her brothers different tasks as she cooked. Even though my mom may have only thrown eggs shells away or helped stir up a mixture, she knew that that was her role at that time and it fulfilled her. The text states that, "...young children have a new sense of purposefulness. They are eager to tackle new tasks, join in activities with peers, and discover what they can do with the help of adults." When my mom would watch cartoons and the characters would pause and ask questions to the viewers, she would always answer and her grandmother was right there to high five and congratulate her for answering. She was not made to feel dismissed or guilty.

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At this age, as children get older in school they begin to have their performance measured by grades, teachers, and report cards. Once they realize that others are too, they begin to compare themselves. This is an important stage in life as it can relate to self confidence. My moms grandmother passed, then when my mom was 9, her mother passed away. Her and her brothers where then whisked away into foster care. They had an aunt that loved them dearly but she already had so many kids in a small apartment, so the state did not let them live with her. In that moment my mom felt as though she was not worthy or was a burden. The text states, "the psychological conflict of middle childhood, industry versus inferiority, which is resolved positively when experiences lead children to develop a sense of competence at useful skills and tasks." As a child sees that diligence pays off and realizes that areas in which they are competent, they are likely to become productive members of society. For my mom this was reading, writing, and creating poetry. She loved to sing in chorus as well. She knew that these where her strong suits and drowned herself in these hobbies. At this point in life my mom and her brothers moved to Maryland with a different aunt who could be very hard and controlling at times.

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Between the ages of 12-18, adolescents begin to understand that there are expectations placed on them that go beyond school. This can definitely influence their identity or what they think is their identity because they begin to strongly consider questions like what do I want to do with my life? What do I want out of life? Who am I? How to others view me? What impact can I make on others? Will I live up to the expectations placed upon me? This can all be confusing or even cause one to act out. Some teens will hold on to any identity, even if it is negative or does not align with who they are as a person. The text states, " If young people’s earlier conflicts were resolved negatively or if society limits their choices to ones that do not match their abilities and desires, they may appear shallow, directionless, and unprepared for the challenges of adulthood." Perhaps since my moms aunt would tend to be controlling and did not give her much leeway in terms of self expression, she did not have major identity crises during this time. She definitely asked herself some of the questions above, but she did not ponder it too much. She just took it day by day and wanted to make it through high school to get away. When she was 16 she had a social worker and they both believed that it was best for her to go to a group home back in D.C where she could focus in what she wanted to do next with her life.

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Once adolescents reach adulthood, this stage can last about 20 years! If a person has completed the previous stages successfully then they typically have a decent sense of who they are as a person. They begin to explore relationships with other people. Exploring relationships like friendships, roommates, coworkers, or romantic partners can help one decide the type of people who are not right for them, and appreciate the ones that are. Belonging and safety are basic needs for most people and these feelings can be provided by family, friends, and partners. It is obvious that every young adult is not with the love of their life or has a life partner. It can be natural for someone who has not been able to create intimate or non-intimate connections to feel isolated. Some people during this stage jump into or stay in relationships that are not good for them because they fear isolation or being alone. The text states, "...seeks psychological intimacy in romantic ties, which last longer." During this point in my moms life, she was with my dad, they met in high school. They began seeing each other before she moved to D.C and stayed together through that. They both went to separate colleges but neither of them finished at that time. My mom joined the navy and my dad had a trade job. They had my oldest sister at 19 and my second oldest at 21. My parents had issues that ended in divorce, but at this time there where still together and my mom was sent on an overseas ship mission. However she got honorably discharged right before with anxiety, all she could think about where her daughters at home and the problems in her relationship. Not to mention that her emotions may have been heightened because she was unexpectedly a few weeks pregnant with my third oldest sister! A lot of emotions for a young adult who did not have a mother or close family member to talk to about it. They eventually had me but their problems remained and they divorced when I was in second grade. They were on and off until I was in 6th grade though. Perhaps my mom did not have a clear sense of what she wanted out of relationships and held onto to what she envisioned for herself being that it the only intimate relationship she had up until that point. They co-parented well and I have also had great relationships with the both of them. My dad went on to finish school and is in his last year and my mom is a wonderful esthetician and massage therapist. My mom put her all into us and she tells me that the belonging we have for each other and family means everything.

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According to Erikson, a person really begins to think about their legacy at ages 40-60. At this age a person will typically have a support system that brings them joy, family, friends, etc. They tend to look at the generations to come and what they are leaving for them. It is sometimes compared to what the past generation left for them. They may want to do better or feel ashamed that they have done worse. The text states, "The person who fails in these ways feels an absence of meaningful accomplishment." However if they feel good about their legacy then they will feel fulfilled. Failing to complete this stage tends to make the next one difficult. My mom feels good about building a strong foundation and strong relationships between us. She is always there for us no matter what, including my nephew. My mom is a very self aware and grounded person. She is not religious but she is a very spiritual person. She has a high sense of self and loves to meditate. She is non-judgemental and understands that everyone has a story. I believe that seeing these traits through her actions and showing us to have empathy is an amazing legacy on its own.

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In the final stage of Erikson's development, people reflect. If someone feels satisfied or as though they lived a purposeful life, they will feel a sense of integrity. The text states, "Integrity results from feeling that life was worth living as it happened." I associate wise elders or people with wisdom with those who have succeeded in this stage. People that can give advice based off of their experiences. If a person feels regret or dissatisfied then they may be embarrassed, feel despair, and not want to share the mistakes they may have made in life. Despair is the complete loss of hope and not a good feeling. My mom believes that everything happens for a reason. She believes that everyone is apart of a shared experience. Life is about living, the youth is in the present and everyday can be new and exciting. She also tells me to appreciate every cycle and chapter in life because they each serve their purpose. Therefore I feel as though she will welcome this stage and I know that all of us will be there for her whenever she needs us.