# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form."

Techniques:

Asyndeton (the dashes, commas, and semicolons are used in place of connecting words and help create a tone of desperation by placing everything desperate Pygmalion tries to do to the statue in one sentence without transitions or connections between each phrase/clause)

Anaphora (the repetition of "he" at the start of each clause help convey the meaning that Pygmalion is the active player in this myth)

Juxtaposition (the contrast between Pygmalion's desperate actions and the statue's passive lack of response is developed with contrasting words/phrases like "kissed" and "could not kiss")

Word Choice:

"enticing" implies Pygmalion sees the statue not as a real woman but as an object to be desired ("enticing" is usually used to describe objects, like food, i.e., "the enticingly purple grape")

"cold" implies the statue is both physically and emotionally cold (like an ice queen) despite Pygmalion's desperate advances

Weak Sentence:

"Either he could not dismiss what he so disapproved of from his mind as easily as from his life, or else he was bent on forming a perfect woman and showing men the deficiencies of the kind they had to put up with."

Why it is weak:

The word choice isn't as strong as in the rest of the myth. It isn't super clear what Hamilton is trying to say. The ideas all flow together mushily, making it feel like a run-on sentence even though it is properly punctuated.

Rewrite:

Questions about Pygmalion's motives for forming the quintessentially statuesque woman persist. Perhaps his hatred for women in his real life failed to dampen his predilection for idealizing the female form. Or perhaps he hoped to illustrate, for all mankind, the imperfections in women he felt all men were forced to endure.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"Prometheus, then, took over the task of creation and thought out a way to make mankind superior. He fashioned them in a nobler shape than the animals, upright like the gods; and then he went to heaven, to the sun, where he lit a torch and brought down fire, a protection to men far better than anything else, whether fur or feathers or strength or swiftness."

Techniques:

Parallel Structure, one part of the sentence sets up the other... "He fashioned them in a nobler shape than the animals, upright like the gods"

Chiasmus, the sentence is written in reverse order... "he lit a torch and brought down fire"

Word Choice:

"superior", implies they are much stronger then the competitors.

"nobler", implies that it is worth recognition.

Weak Sentence:

"There is more than one account of how that came to pass."

Why it is weak:

No good, or helpful word choice

It does not explain what is going on

Rewrite:

When it was time for men to be created, the gods could argue on how that time for new life arose.

# data[].attributes.headline
Sadie Case, Calvin Doucette, Angela Gumieniak 

# data[].attributes.subject
Sadie Case, Calvin Doucette, Angela Gumieniak 

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence: He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers and a crown of gold—great beauty shone out from it.                                 Quote: " He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers and a crown of gold—great beauty shone out from it. "                                                            Techniques: Asyndeton is shown when they put a dash in place of a comma.                                   Polysyndeton is shown by  they used a ", and"  instead of just a comma when describing Pandora                                                                                                                               Word Choice:   Maiden- Maiden is used to describe someone single, in Pandora's story she is a single women within a world fully of men, so she is in high demand, but there is only one of her for all the men.                                                                              Evil-  It is the only negative word used within the whole entire sentence.                                                                                                                                                                                Weak Sentence:  He took her, and afterward when that dangerous thing, a woman, was his, he understood how good his brother’s advice had been.                                      Quote : "He took her, and afterward when that dangerous thing, a woman, was his, he understood how good his brother’s advice had been.                                                        Why it is weak:                                                                                                                                    Rewrite

# data[].attributes.body
Template to Copy
Strong Sentence: A story for Pandora that described her beginning and life.
Quote "For Pandora, like all women, was possessed of a lively curiosity"
Techniques: Periodic sentence because her final attribute was held off and changed through the sentence

Word Choice: The word choice in this quote was really god because it changed the way that the sentence was read.

Weak Sentence: One in Pandora
Quote "He took her, and afterward when that dangerous thing, a woman, was his, he understood how good his brother’s advice had been"
Why it is weak:
This is weak because the wording of the first sentence is hard to follow and the word choice could be improved.
Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.headline
Emily Bustamante, Bailey Wall, Talia Lombardi 

# data[].attributes.subject
Emily Bustamante, Bailey Wall, Talia Lombardi 

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Strong Sentence:

Quote

"She had to know what was in the box. One day she lifted the lid—and out flew plagues innumerable, sorrow and mischief for mankind. In terror Pandora clapped the lid down, but too late. One good thing, however, was there—Hope."

Techniques:

Dashes --

Periodic Sentence  --

Word Choice:

She had to know -- it implies the need for her to open the box, not an option for her

innumerable, sorrow -- shows how much evil was in the box

man kind -- shows how many people the box being opened will affect

Weak Sentence:

Quote

"Too late, as always, he was sorry and asked his brother’s help."

Why it is weak:
The word choice isn't as strong it could be and could be more descriptive and present Epimetheus' failures

Rewrite:
After another failure, Epimetheus came crawling back to his brother asking for forgiveness and assistance.

# data[].attributes.headline
Josh Campbell, Rachel Robinson, Erin Burniece.

# data[].attributes.subject
Josh Campbell, Rachel Robinson, Erin Burniece.

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Strong Sentence:

Quote
" He made a great evil for men, a sweet and lovely thing to look upon, in the likeness of a shy maiden, and all the gods gave her gifts, silvery raiment and a broidered veil, a wonder to behold, and bright garlands of blooming flowers and a crown of gold—great beauty shone out from it" (Hamilton 3)

Techniques:

Asyndeton because she uses the conjunction "and" multiple times.

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote
"She had to know what was in the box" (Hamilton 3)

Why it is weak:

It is weak because it doesn't use very sophisticated lingo.

Rewrite:

By her impulsive nature, her first instinct was to find out what could possibly be contained in the box.

# data[].attributes.headline
Hailie Arnold, Taylor Mitchell, Madilyn Webb

# data[].attributes.subject
Hailie Arnold, Taylor Mitchell, Madilyn Webb

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
"One day she lifted the lid—and out flew plagues innumerable, sorrow and mischief for mankind. "
Techniques:
Dashes: to explain an after thought of her lifting the lid.
Asyndenton: the uses of 'and' and 'for' are deliberate omissons of conjuctions
Word Choice:
'sorrow' exemplifies the pain that opening the box really
Weak Sentence:
" Too late, as always, he was sorry and asked his brother’s help. "
Why it is weak:
This sentence is weak because it doesn't contain enough detail and its very simple.
Rewrite:
He was too late , he did not think it through, he was forced to ask his brother to help so that his brother could fix the mistakes he made.

# data[].attributes.headline
McKenna Nichols, Dante Porchetta, Xavier Adams

# data[].attributes.subject
McKenna Nichols, Dante Porchetta, Xavier Adams

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote- "Detesting the faults beyond measure which nature has given to women, he resolved never to marry."

Techniques:

Periodic Sentence:

Word Choice:

"Resolved" shows that he was promising that he would never marry a women. A resolution is stronger than saying you will.

"Detesting" implies he doesn't just dislike women, he is so disgusted by them that he avoids them completely.

"Beyond Measure/Nature" shows an over exaggeration of the flaws that Pygmalion believes women have.

Weak Sentence:

Quote- "In the end he gave up."

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote: "He fashioned them in a nobler shape than the animals, upright like the gods; and then he went to heaven, to the sun, where he lit a torch and brought down fire..."

Techniques:

Periodic Sentence: Hamilton does not display the actual thought (lighting a torch and bringing down fire) until the very end of the quote

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote: "

Why it is weak:

Rewrite: