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Responding to Tragedy #CueChat Discussion Storify

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Responding to Tragedy #CueChat Discussion Storify

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https://storify.com/cueinc/responding-to-tragedy-in-the-classroom

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The Teacher’s Role When Tragedy Strikes - Child Mind Institute

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What is a teacher’s role in dealing with tragedy? Child Mind Institute offers tips for helping children in the classroom when tragedy strikes.

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How to Help Kids Feel Safe After Tragedy

By Grace Hwang Lynch

In the days and weeks following a high-profile tragedy, kids may have a lot of questions about whether something like this could happen to them. In fact, parents themselves may have a lot of worries about the safety of raising children in this world. It's normal for both adults and kids to feel anxious after such a publicly devastating event, but there are things you can do to minimize the stress and maintain a sense of normalcy.

Here are some tips from psychologists.

It's Normal to Be Concerned. Youngsters who have heard or seen news reports about disturbing events may be reluctant to return to the classroom and other public spaces. Moms and dads may even feel anxious about dropping their kids off at day care or school, after hearing about tragedies that happen to children. "Parents are following instincts to be alarmed and to be fearful," says nationally certified school psychologist Eric Rossen, Ph.D. But Rossen stresses that we need to remember these are isolated incidents. "It's important to continue to remember that this is such a rare event, statistically and objectively speaking. It's hard to bear because it's so rare."

Take a News Break. While you may be interested in watching twenty-four-hour news for all the latest developments, your children may not be able to handle that. The American Psychological Association recommends limiting the amount of time spent watching news reports, as constant exposure may actually heighten their anxiety and fears.

Answer Kids' Questions - Without Giving Them Unnecessary Details. Even if you limit news exposure in your home, chances are your kids may hear details-accurate or not-on the playground. When they return to school after a national tragedy, it's a good idea to ask what they've heard.

"A lot of times, children misunderstand what's happening," says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of "Smart Parenting for Smart Kids." "For example, if they saw a picture of men carrying guns, it looked like there was a lot of them. Let them know the gunman is not in our backyard. This is not something that's happening at many different schools."

And if kids have questions, Rossen says the key is to answer-not avoid-them without giving too much information. For example, you might explain the Connecticut shootings to a school-age child like this: "Someone went into a school and they hurt a lot of people. But we know that your school is safe, and you're safe in your home."

Maintain a Regular Schedule. While it may be tempting to keep your kids close to your side after a devastating event, child psychologists agree that sticking to a regular routine helps kids to get past their distress. "By bringing our children to school, we are communicating a very important message about courage and resilience, about going on despite terrible things that happen," says Kennedy-Moore. For preschoolers, talk them through their day using very concrete examples, such as, "You're going to be with Mrs. Smith, and she's going to be in charge of you. Daddy's going to get back at lunch, and we'll go to the playground."

Pay Extra Attention to Your Kids. When you are at home with your children, make sure to be engaged with them. The National Association of School Psychologists recommends that parents focus on their children during the week following a tragedy, including spending some extra time reading or playing with kids before bed, to foster a sense of closeness and security.

Model Confidence and Assurance. Don't forget that you are your child's role model during times of stress. Kennedy-Moore explains, "Children look to their parents to see how scared they should be." Of course, if you are feeling anxious, make time to address your own needs, such as talking to friends or family or seeking guidance from religious leaders or counselors.

Find Solace or Take Action. Even children can feel better by doing something, whether it's a spiritual pursuit, a political activity or just an act of kindness. Look for activities that are age-appropriate. "Find a child-sized way to take action," says Kennedy-Moore, "saying a prayer together, or raising money, or signing a petition, or sending a card or letter."

Signs of More Than Normal Stress. Watch for signs of excessive fear or anxiety in the next few weeks. According to the American Psychological Association, signs of stress in children can include trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating on school work, or changes in appetite. If those symptoms last for more than a week or two, ask your child's teachers if they are observing the same thing and consult your school psychologist or pediatrician.

Focus on the Positive. Experts, from psychologists to religious leaders, remind us to focus on the good. For starters, remember how unusual these tragedies are. "Statistically speaking, it's safer for them to be in a school than for a parent to put them in a car," says Rossen.

Tough times can be a reminder for us to cherish our family and loved ones each day. Kennedy-Moore reminds us, "There is more joy than sorrow in life."
NEXT: Age-By-Age Insights
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Grace Hwang Lynch is a writer, consultant, and mom based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She blogs about Asian fusion family and food at HapaMama.com

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How to Help Kids Feel Safe After Tragedy . Talking with Kids About News . PBS Parents

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PBS Parents. Find information about your child's development from birth through the early school years. And you'll find lots of fun educational activities for your children to help get them ready for school. The PBS Parents Guides address important aspects of your child's early years such as school readiness and social and emotional development.

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After any disaster or crisis, families struggle with what they should say to children and how to help them cope.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the event and present it in a way that their child can understand, adjust to and handle in a healthy way.
Where to start

No matter what age or developmental stage your child is, you can start by asking what they've already heard. Most children will have heard something, no matter how old they are. After you ask them what they've heard, ask what questions they have and how they feel about what's happened.

Older children, teens, and young adults might ask more questions. They may ask for and benefit more from additional information. But no matter what age your child is, it's best to keep the dialogue straightforward and direct.

Avoiding graphic details & exposure to media

In general, it is best to share basic information with children, not graphic details, or unnecessary details about tragic circumstances. Children and adults alike want to be able to understand enough so they know what's going on. Graphic information and images should be avoided.

Keep young children away from repetitive graphic images and sounds that may appear on television, radio, social media, the internet, etc.

With older children, if they will be viewing news coverage, consider recording it ahead of time. That allows you to preview it and evaluate its contents before you sit down with them to watch it. Then, as you watch it with them, you can stop, pause and have a discussion when you need to.

Children will generally follow good advice, but you have to give them some latitude to make decisions about what they're ready for. Most children will have access to the news and graphic images through social media and the internet right from their cell phone. You need to be aware of what's out there and take steps in advance to talk to children about what they might hear or see.

Talking to very young children

The reality is that even preschool-age children will hear about major crisis events. It's best that they hear about it from a parent or caregiver, as opposed to another child or in the media, or through overheard conversations.

Even the youngest child needs accurate information, but you don't want to be too vague. Simply saying, "Something happened in a faraway town and some people got hurt," doesn't tell the child enough about what happened. The child may not understand why this is so different from people getting hurt every day and why so much is being said about it. The underlying message for a parent to convey is, "It's okay if these things bother you. We are here to support each other."

Talking to gradeschool children & teens

After asking your child what they have heard and if they have questions or concerns about what occurred during a school shooting, community bombing, natural disaster, or even a disaster in another country, a parent can say something such as:

"Yes. In [city], [state]"(and here you might need to give some context, depending on whether it's nearby or far away, for example, 'That's a city/state that's pretty far from/close to here'), there was a crisis [explain what the crisis was]and many people were hurt [add more information]. The police and the government are doing their jobs so they can try to make sure that it doesn't happen again."

You can follow-up as needed based on your child's reactions and questions.

Talking with children with developmental delays or disabilities

Parents who have a child with a developmental delay or disability should gear their responses to their child's developmental level or abilities, rather than their chronologic age. If you have a teenage child whose level of intellectual functioning is more similar to a 7-year-old, for instance, gear your response to what you might share with most 7-year-olds. Start by giving less information. Provide further information in the most appropriate and clear way you can.

Talking with children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

What's helpful to a child with an ASD may be different. For instance, the child may find less comfort in cuddling than some other children. Parents should try something else that does calm and comfort their child on other occasions. Ask yourself, "Given who my child is, their personality, temperament and developmental abilities and what generally helps calm them when they are worried. What might work for them?"

Signs a child might not be coping well

You may see signs that children are having difficulty adjusting. Some of things to look for are:

Sleep problems: Watch for trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, difficulty waking, nightmares or other sleep disturbances.

Physical complaints: Children may complain of feeling tired, having a headache or stomachache, or generally feeling unwell.

Changes in behavior: You may notice your child eating too much or less than usual. Look for signs of regressive behavior, including social regression, acting more immature or becoming less patient and more demanding or irritable. A child who once separated easily from their parents may become clingy. Teens may begin or change current patterns of tobacco, alcohol or substance use.

Emotional problems: Children may experience undue sadness, depression, anxiety or fears.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a child is reacting in a typical way to an unusual event or whether they are having significant problems coping, and might benefit from extra support. If you are concerned, talk to your child's pediatrician, your child's teacher, or a mental health professional or counselor in the school or community.

Don't wait for symptoms. Children often do a good job of hiding their distress. Start the discussion early, and keep the dialogue going.

More information

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bomb; bombing; news; media; sad news; coverage; tragedy; fire; murder; death; reporter; tv; images; video; scary; talking to children; what to say; how to explain; disaster; disasters; teachers; classroom; filter; cope; school shooting; landing_gc;

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How to Talk With Kids About Tragedies & Other Traumatic News Events

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​VIDEO - The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the crisis and present it in a way that their child can accommodate, adjust to, and cope with.

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Helping Children Cope: Teacher Resources for Talking About Tragedy
Teachers play a critical role in how children handle tragic events. Education World has compiled a list of Web sites to help teachers discuss tragedy with students. Included: Links to Web resources for helping children cope with crisis.
Jan Jewell is a teacher at Cheyenne Middle School in Oklahoma City. She and her students have had experience dealing with acts of terror. The bombing of the federal building in Oklahoma City is a memory her students live with every day.

As news broke about the terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington, D.C., Jewell's students first wanted to know why some kids were being picked up by their parents and why those parents felt afraid, Jewell said. With students who were left behind, "We talked about fearing things over which we had no control," said Jewell. "Then we talked about not giving into fear because then they [the terrorists] win. We talked about channeling our feelings into thinking about what we could do to help. We talked about how everyone responded to us when our federal building was bombed."

Eventually, the students turned their energies to talking about ideas, Jewell continued. "We could make cards," the students suggested. "We could write letters "

The resources below will help teachers discuss tragedy, ease students' fears, and assist teachers in identifying children who may need additional help in coping with difficult events. The resources include ideas for talking with students of all ages and getting students to direct their energies into discussing and writing about their feelings.

HELPING STUDENTS COPE AND UNDERSTAND

Talking to Our Children About Violence and Terrorism
The Center for Social and Emotional Education has put together resources for both professionals and parents. Focusing on empathy and social skills, these resources walk through discussion points with children to encourage social and emotional growth.

Helping America Cope
This updated guide contains information and activities to help children cope with the anniversary of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The guide is designed for use with children six to 12 years of age; however, many of the activities have effectively been adapted for use with older children.

About Our Kids
This Web site includes resources such as a school manual with practical steps for recognizing the anniversary of September 11 and

Tips for Talking About Disasters
This Web page from the Center for Mental Health Services includes resources such as How to Help Children After a Disaster, After a Disaster: What Teens Can Do, and After a Disaster: A Guide for Parents and Teachers.

Helping Our Children in Difficult Times
PBS offers this tip sheet for parents and teachers. The printable sheet (Adobe Acrobat required) features Arthur, the popular children's book character.

Helping Children Deal With Scary News -- Thoughts from Fred Rogers
These tips are from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and PBS.

Talking with Kids About Tough Issues
This site includes tips on Talking with Kids about the News and booklets for parents in both English and Spanish.

Crisis and Loss: Information for Educators
This 20-page booklet covers crisis management and intervention.

Crisis Intervention Manual
How do children of different ages process death? This resource from The School Psychologists' Home Page offers a guide to children's reactions. This resource also includes a poem, "The Elephant in the Room," about the difficulty of talking about death; tips for being a supportive adult; and a tip sheet that can be sent home to parents to help them talk with their children about death.

How to Teach Children About Living in a World with Violence
Scholastic provides this seven-step activity guide for teaching kids about violence.

Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters
Tips for helping children and adolescents respond to trauma and crisis from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Talking With Kids About War
Alvin Poussaint, M.D., and Susan Linn, Ed.D., put together this resource for The Learning Network.

Disaster: Helping Children Cope
This is a handout for parents from the National Association of School Psychologists.

Helping Students Deal With Violence
This up-to-date list of resources comes from MidLink Magazine.

Disaster Resource Center
A resource from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

How to Help Children After a Disaster: A Teacher's Guidebook
This is a resource from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

Helping Children Understand the Terrorist Attacks
This resource from the U.S. Department of Education includes Suggestions for Educators: Meeting the Needs of Students.

Children of September 11
This children's page of the Families of September 11 Web site includes links to resources for teachers.

Death: A Personal Understanding
This ten-program series on death and dying includes two programs that can be of immediate use to teachers and administrators: "Sudden Death" and "A Child's View of Death." "Sudden Death" has a special focus on unexpected disaster through terrorism and uses the Oklahoma City bombing to show how we can helpfully respond to traumatic grief. "A Child's View of Death" focuses on how children handle the deaths of those close to them, their own sense of mortality, and how adults can support children.

September 11th: One Day and Forever
Tips for helping kids handle their feelings about 9/11 from the PBS show It's My Life.

All Kids Grieve
Among the online resources included here are sections on children's literature related to grief, using poetry to promote healing and personal growth, and a Kids Art & Poetry Exhibit.

When Tragedy Strikes: What Schools Should Do
Tragedies happen. Children and parents die. Teens commit suicide. Teachers must face their students after the unthinkable happens. Education World talks to educators and psychologists who have helped students and teachers deal with death, suicide, and murder. Included: Tips for teachers and administrators for handling the death of a student.

Last updated 12/3/2015

Education World®
Copyright © 2011, 2015 Education World

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Education World: Helping Children Cope: Teacher Resources for Talking About Tragedy

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Helping Children Cope: Teacher Resources for Talking About Tragedy Teachers play a critical role in how children handle tragic events. Education World has compiled a list of Web sites to help teachers discuss tragedy with students. Included: Links to Web resources for helping children cope with crisis.

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When tragic events happen, it can be difficult for educators, administrators, and parents to know how to help children understand and cope. How adults manage their own reactions, as well as how they help students deal with their questions and feelings, are important factors in providing children with the support and guidance they will need. Below are some useful, informative, and thoughtful resources for adults to help children through traumatic situations. Some of these resources are relevant to parents as well as educators.

Addressing Trauma and Grief at Home and in the Classroom

Tips for Talking to Kids About Trauma: The Greater Good Science Center produced this resource following the Paris attacks; it includes helpful information for starting a dialogue with children following traumatic events. You'll find tips for helping students express themselves as well as a list of outside resources for helping children respond to grief and trauma.

Resources for Responding to Trauma and Tragedy: This collection from Edutopia features resources in a variety of areas, including trauma's effect on learning, supporting students who have experienced trauma, and more. There are links to Edutopia content and also articles and guides from around the web.

A Teachers' Guide for Managing Emotional Reactions to Traumatic Events: The National Association of School Psychologists produced this guide for responding to traumatic events in the classroom. You'll find strategies and tips for talking with students of all ages, with different guides for various age groups. Teachers will learn how to model coping strategies for students, and there's a wealth of useful information about monitoring students' emotions.

Helping Young Children Cope With Trauma: This downloadable PDF from the American Red Cross features a brief overview of how children of different age levels react to tragic events. A tips list details how families can respond and includes advice for when to seek professional help.

A Comprehensive Guide for Talking With Kids About the News From PBS Parents: There are many useful strategies for discussing tragedy with children in this guide. Parents will find a list of strategies for listening and talking to help young people communicate their feelings and strategies to help soothe and reassure children. There are age-specific strategies and discussion starters.

Resources for Managing Child Traumatic Stress: This is an exhaustive collection of information for helping children through a variety of stressful and traumatic situations. Produced by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, these resources are arranged by topic with guides, explanations, tips, and advice in each section. Additionally, NCTSN's Parenting in a Challenging World collection features tips relevant to parents.

Resources for Grieving Children and Families: From the New York Life Foundation and various partners, this site has a variety of resources for children, teens, and families responding to tragedy. Included are links to resources from the foundation's partners, including Sesame Street Workshop, Scholastic, and Camp Erin, as well as outside links to useful resources.

Responding to Natural Disaster

Helping Children Cope With Natural Disaster and Catastrophe: Bright Horizons produced this helpful guide, "What Happened to My World," which offers assistance to parents and adults who want to talk to young people about natural disasters and the effects on communities. Bright Horizon's guide provides powerful tips for working with children of any age and strategies for offering honest, reassuring answers to their questions.

Helping Children After a Natural Disaster -- Information for Parents and Teachers: This is a comprehensive resource from the National Association of School Psychologists. It's part preparation guide, part crisis-response resource. This guides features strategies for responding to a variety of disasters and for helping children cope. (Note: This is just one resource from the NASP; the organization hosts a wealth of resources online for many different situations.)

More Resources for Responding to Tragedy From Edutopia

More Resources From Around the Web

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Responding to Tragedy: Resources for Educators and Parents

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When tragic events happen, it can be difficult for educators, administrators, and parents to know how to help children understand and cope. How adults manage their own reactions, as well as how they help students deal with their questions and feelings, are important factors in providing children with the support and guidance they will need.