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The claim is clear.

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Use different words than also

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points are stated clearly

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Pranil : The response uses relevant details to support the main claim

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Pranil : The response uses relevant details to support the main claim

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Good use of transition words. For example, however and overall.

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Well organized

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Calvin

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Don't start with "yes, I think"

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It gives clear reasons about the topic

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Instead of using also for most of the sentences, you can use "in addition" or "additionally."

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It is good and it states the facts clearly, but instead of using also the second time, maybe use another linking word.

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Calvin

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Arjun- I think it uses strong words to convince the reader

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remember to use 3rd person instead of first person

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Clarise: The paragraph has a strong reason.

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Clarise: The paragraph has a strong reason.

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Use third person instead of first person

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Suggestions on how to improve the paragraph

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Suggestions on how to improve the paragraph

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Unclear pronoun use, use of too much "it".

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Gives clear reasoning and is well organized.

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Pranil : Use stronger wording and try to keep the response in third person point of view.

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Pranil : Use stronger wording and try to keep the response in third person point of view.

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Better word choice

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Make sure to change up the wording once in a while so you are not repeating the same words over and over again.

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It has good details.

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The second time, instead of using also, the author could use a differ

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The second time, instead of using also, the author could use a differ

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States their point

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Better transition words such as Further on or Such as would help support the essay.

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Add a "so what"

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Suggestions on how to improve the paragraph.

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Suggestions on how to improve the paragraph.

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Don't use the same transition words back to back like, also.

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do not use pronouns

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good examples

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Clarise: There can be a stronger use of vocabulary, and transition words.

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Clarise: There can be a stronger use of vocabulary, and transition words.

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It states a good reason for why banning will be good

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could include text evidence such as according to blah

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Use other linking verbs besides also, and

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Should not start with "Yes, I think" in the first sentence.

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Using real life examples

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The response should contain the article from which they got their evidence.  

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The response should contain the article from which they got their evidence.  

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Persuasive reasons and details

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States clear and strong reasons.

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Don't shorten words unless it is long: Calvin

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Don't shorten words unless it is long: Calvin

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-good info

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The paragraph should be written in third-person not first-person. Replace the word I with they, them, or their.

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You used good details that stated your point and text evidence from the story which was good.

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Start with a question at the beginning
EX: Should we get rid of the penny? <Answer with topic sentence/ Hook>

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The author does a good job in supporting their points.

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I think that the part about oceans wasn't there so I am just saying also that pennies are not worthless but it is true that they are expensive

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dont use the word "can"

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Try to expand the use of word choice and keep the paragraph in third person POV

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Great claim and details

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Explained the clause really good.:Calvin

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Explained the clause really good.:Calvin

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Try to not use the same transition word over and over again because its gets boring to the reader and make sure to put it in 3rd person.

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great claim.

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use more words

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deal with it

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Dont put it in 3rd person every argumentitve writing should be and stay in 3rd person

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Dont put it in 3rd person every argumentitve writing should be and stay in 3rd person