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When it comes to “money”, I would say that “saving money is important”. The first reason is saving money can help you be financial independent. As a result, you are able to stand on your own feet and don’t have to live off your parents. Besides, saving money can help you in emergencies are , that is, unexpected problems in whole life such as your own health, difficulty in finance and so on, which you have to face without being known before. (lặp lại của từ unexpected nên ko cần nói lại nữa) In these cases, if you’ve saved up before, you wouldn’t be under pressure or deep in dept. Finally, saving money is worth to preparing for your personal plans such as a luxurious apartment, a valuable purchase or a long-term investment without leading to stress for you. To sum up, saving money is the first step for your better life.

Ổn hơn rồi Hiền nhé!

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In my opinion,creating a bank account is the most suitable solution.
First, the bank is the --> a safe place to save your moneys.Keeping money s in your house --> If you keep your money in your house, it can be easily be stolen or it can be lost forever for many reasons.Letting somebody(even the person you believe the most) keep your moneys isn't the --> a good way too. But when you send your moneys in your bank account, you dont need to worry about if your moneys would be safe, because even when you bank suffers from a disaster, your  deposits are still protected.
Second,you can earn moneys while you save it.
.Your bank will pay interest on your deposits.Depending on the type of account, your interest rates will vary in different ways.
Third,the loan of the bank is cheap
.People would borrow money from money lenders other wealthy individuals. These loans were given at exorbitant interest rates that most people couldn’t afford to pay.But with a bank account,it will start
providing cheaper loans to the underprivileged section of the society, which give your more time to pay the loan.
In conclusion, to save enough money, i think having a bank account will create a lot of advantage to help my sister start up her business.

Phần nói của em dài quá, và phần sau sa vào nói về chủ đề ngân hàng quá nhiều. Em nên thu gọn lại cả đoạn còn 6-8 câu cho 1 - 1.5 phút là vừa. Em cũng thiếu signal words khi chuyển ý, VD: từ ý gửi ngân hàng sang ý gửi người thân.

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I think I would recommend my sister to create a bank account to save money because it has so many benefits. First, if you deposit money into a bank account, you do not have to worry about being robbed or lost. Second, when you create a bank account, not only can it save your money, but it also have generate an additional amount of interest generated that accrues over time. Moreover, you can check your account balance anytime and anywhere thanks to the mobile banking app. In conclusion, among the three suggestions: creating a bank account, giving money to my mom to keep or depositing money in a piggy bank, creating a bank account is the way I think is the best way for my sister to save money in one year to start her business.

Good job!

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If i am into in this situation and given three options: create --> creating a bank account, give giving the money to my mother to keep or put putting money in the piggy bank . I think t will definitely go for the first option because of the following reasons. Firstly, putting money in a account not only helps me keep money effectively and avoid extravagant spending but also creates a huge --> có hơi quá ko? :D profits  . Secondly, creating an account to save money is very common and safe/secure scientific thing . Idon not I don't have to worry about risks or losing money . Regarding asking my mother to keep the money , i don not don't  think i am going to choose this option . Although thank to mother is also a safe way , it is not convenient and won't help me to earn more interest on this principle. Also for putting money in a piggy bank , I am extremely concerned with this method as it is easy to distract me and i can beat --> break  the piggy bank for money anytime . To sum up, my final decision would be to putting money in the account and i strongly recommend it for my sister to let her have the best money for her business.

Hơi dài em ạ. Để ý V-ing (danh động từ) nhé

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Part 2
Well, if I were her, I would believe  putting the money in a piggy bank account is the best choice among three  options.
Firstly, I definitely ignore option give the money to mother. Once you start up business, it means you are independent of finance. You have to manage your own money.
Secondly ,  although creating a bank account is a  good choice, you may spend money like water. --> Why???
Therefore, putting money  in a piggy bank is the idea choice for my sister if she wants to save up her money. It prevents you to withdraw -->  from withdrawing your money easily. The more the money you save up, the higher interest. Moveover, if you try to withdraw before the dates, you will get a  penalty for not following the plan.
For all the reasons I mention above, I will choose  put money in a piggy bank as the best choice for her.

Hình như em đang bị hiểu nhầm. A piggy bank là con lợn đất đó!

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Part 2
I will suggest my sister to create a bank account if she wants to save up money in a year to start up her business. First, a bank account facilitates a safe custody of money and helps in making payments. The bank account holder can make payment to third parties through the savings and current account. The payment may be regarding electricity bills, insurance premium, etc.
Second, a bank account helps in collection of money, holders and get advance and loans. The current account holder can obtain an overdraft facility from his bank. The recurring and fixed deposit account holders can get a loan upto 75% of the amount to their credit. The savings account holders can also obtain loans to purchase computers and such other equipments.
Finally, bank account holders get a safe deposit locker. The bank provides safe deposit locker facility to its account holders to keep their valuables like gold jewellery, share certificates, property documents.

Em viết lại bằng lời của mình nhé Hà. Đoạn này cô đoán là copy phần nhiều ở đâu đó, nên nó chưa trúng với tình huống mà bài đưa ra.

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Trần Thị Hiền E2
Part 2
Among the 3 choices, I believe that creating a bank account is the best option for several reasons
Firstly,  It is very safe and reliable.  The bank will help her preserve the money and no one will be able to withdraw it except for her.  Secondly, depositing money in the bank, it will be profitable --> will bring about profits, so she will have more money after one year of deposit.  Finally, sending money to mom and putting the money in the piggy bank will not be highly secure because the money could be stolen.  In conclusion, I would recommend that she send money to the bank to save up money

Good job!

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Part 2
If i were my sister i would chose plan to save up money in a year to start up a business by putting the money in a piggy bank. Firstly, i  have 6 -12 months of living expenses saved in an easily accessible account.
Secondly, I try making a game???? out of finding ways to spend less than 2 millions VND less each month . I can catch a bus rather than using motorbike and don't spend  money like water . To buy some somthing have discount , it's not bad ????. Something unesscesary i can put by. --> I may buy things on discount, or save money by not buying unnecessary stuff.

Finally, regarding keeping the money in a bank account,  To be contract ??? if I send a bank, i I think it is very complicated because I have to save a sum of money and often come to the bank to send money.

In Conclusion , I would recommend that she send money to put the $ in a piggy bank.

Em xem lại tình huống nhé. Đây là mình đang gợi ý cho người khác, nên em nên dùng chủ ngữ là She thay cho I.

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Saving money brings numerous advantages. Let me explain,

Firstly, saving money is a good way to help us be financially independent. Freedom to do what we want without being dependent. Concerns will subside when we can take care of themselves to the best of our ability.

Secondly, when an emergency occurs, having a savings is extremely necessary. When you and your family are in a dangerous situation and need money, a savings will save this situation, keep you from adding financial stress. This help us feel secure in all cases. There's absolutely no reason to endure a problem you hate.   Good paragraph

Last but not least,  everyone will have savings for personal plans. It will give us the freedom to pursue dreams, make --> realize (xem lại bài hopes and dreams) big dreams like bussiness, getting married, or buying a house... Saving money  expands your options for decisions that have a major effect. --> important life decisions
In conclusion, Saving moneys is important because it stress relief --> em có thể restate lại 3 ý chính cho đỡ cụt.

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part 3
I'm going to describe about

--> discuss why saving money is important.. i suppose the reason has something to do with the fact that saving money. first of all saving for emergencies..they --> it can be used to cover the expense of many unforeseen situations. they The money you save can serve as a safely net, only to be used when financial crises occur. secondly , i could add is that to become financially independent it is necessary. --> em nên diễn đạt thành: Saving money makes you financially independent. Financial independence is very similar. There is a time before your passive income covers all of your living expenses, but you become comfortable enough to be free to make different choices. And I should not forget  to mention that saving money is also important for your future personal plans. Budgeting is primarily about tracking your income, bills and expenses to calculate how much you can spend and what you can afford to pay each month.  Câu này bỏ, em ko cần đưa ra định nghĩa vì thời gian có hạn, và nó cũng ko relevant lắm :D Setting a budget and maintaining it regularly and regularly is the foundation of financial success, because it helps you to consider before spending on an item that suits your ability and avoid debt.That's all I have to say saving money is significant for us in every situation and time

Ngắn lại một chút Văn nhé, thế này chắc chắn nhiều hơn 2p rồi đấy :))

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For me, I will choose to create a bank account. First, The deposits of money will increase over time in the bank. If you want to deposit interest your money to the bank, you can not take it back when the time is not finish --> due. Then, she can take it back to start up her business. Second,   Giving the money to her mother is not good idea. Because you can not control it all the time. Moreover, When you dont have enough money to buy anything, You can ask your mother to take --> give your money back to buy it. Third, Putting the money in a piggy bank is not bad idea. You can leave a sum of money to put it in piggy bank eveyday. However, It can be stolen so you must be careful. To sum up, The best choice is create a bank account Which is not be --> cannot be stolen, can't be taken --> withdrawn if the time is not finish --> due/over. After finishing the deposit you will earn a sum of money.

Sao chủ ngữ cứ lẫn lộn lúc you lúc she? Em xem lại tình huống nhé.

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Triệu Quế Chi e2
Part 3
I think saving money is important for people's life. One of the best parts of being an adults is the independence and freedom to do what you want, when you want to. So, if you want to be financially independent and unshackled, you need to beef up your saving. Secondly, saving money helps you have a decent amount of money saved up. That keeps you from adding financial stress to the pile if you confront with emergencies. Seriously, money is the last thing you need to be worrying about in an emergency. Finally, you have to saving --> save money to do personal plans, your dream example like marriage, work, house. If you dont have money, you cant do anything and maybe it leads to stress for you... So, we can say that saving money is necessary for future life.
Quế Chi

Good job Chi. Pay attention to your minor mistakes.

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I absolutely agree with the statement that Saving money is important. Saving money is something we all should do because of the unexpected risks that can happen at any time without our knowledge. So having a backup plan/ something to backup will never be redundant in our life.
Firstly, the most noticeable problem --> i t's not a problem, it's a benefit of saving money is financial independence. When you save money on personal expenses, that means that you you have grown up, and no longer depending too much on your parents.
Secondly, saving money for emergencies is also important. A saving account will help you cope with unexpected difficulties, such as car damage, illness, work problem and so forth. Good
Thirdly, if you are planning to buy or upgrade your house or change a new car then save now so you do not have to worry about making money later. Who knows, during a period of time, the price of the house is down, it is a good opportunity that you should catch it.
Finally, saving money for retirement is also extremely important. Nobody wants  to grow old without their own money. It's good if you save at young ages and when you have a stable amount of money, you can allow yourself to retire earlier so you can enjoy the happy golden moments with family and friends.
To sum up, saving money is an important thing that everyone needs to do. But do not let the savings become stressful but do not dare to spend --> so stressful that you dare not spend at all. Therefore, you need to plan reasonable spending to be able to balance your life more comfortable,

Súc tích lại một chút thì tốt, cô nghĩ 6-8 câu thôi.